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Every Man in his Humor, ToM^Cambden. 
Every man out of his Humor, To the I n n e s ofCoURT. 

Cynthias Revells, 
The Fox, 

The filcnt Woman, 
The Alchymift, 


To the C o u r t. 

To M r * Rich.Martin. 

To Esme Lo. Aubigny. 

To the U N I V E R S I T I E S. 
To Sir Fr A N. S T U A R T» 


To the Lady W roth. 
To the Earle of P embrok. 
To the fame. 

The Forreft, 





V . - \ ' 


V. CL. 

Ben. I o n s o n i u m, 

Carmen protrepticon. 

R^AflU Th,\:c'ii lyram .\'t\mlb;« 
Pulfet- carmina circuits PaUmon 
Scribal ^ </«/ manibm facit Dc.i>';:< 

I Holt's, met uat P :«w. Vlacere 

TedoSisjuvat attribute placers 
Te rarii juvat A w. Camsnas 
Chntotuslegertm lu.ts (Camj/.c 
Nam tOtttfn ro^itant tux, »«■ ////..*>» 
^«/ /'/ ■ .' rvx&tf ofcitationem t 
LeFtorcm) & tinfoeroj, Acumen, Artem, 
Mirum judicium, quod ipfe cenfor y 
Jo x s o N f, nimum licet malig , 
Si dt . mid, txigq, viderem, 
Sermonnn & ,)ilid"<>i, Faceti.ifque 
Dignas Mercurio^ no-jjfque G tonus 
-m fed veterum, tui que juris 
ncquid Dramaljcum tui Ifgebam 
im fern per fore, timque te loquttium, 
l 't ntc Lemnia notior figillo 
TtUttf^ntc mactdit faertndm ApU, 
Non eefio V r-.Nus, ant comis Ap o llo, 
Quitm Musk fttervs fciente ttoftts, 
Quam Mw.i fueris tuk notatm, 

IU«, qu £ unica, fi dm ut refulgent, i fuperat comis, Minorum : 
In metitem fubiit Stolonu il/ud 

L M Pieridas fuijji rbuti • 

V fir as, C ice routs At que folium 
Satumo gentium pbrafi PlatonU. 
Mufe fi Latio, fovifque Atbenis 
Dt- ijjent. i ore jam fedhuttc & Was 
Jonfon t numeros puto loquutos 
AnnlU ft fuer int utriquefa:i! 
Tamjni, at fopbiam cloces amxn) 

Spar sim timque fopbos amxna flernUl 
Sedy tot del ici, is, minus plaeebat, 
Spar (is diftrahercnt tot in libellis 
ferdoi cacttic, Volumen tmum 

Quodferi Britonum icrant nepotes 

Optabam, & fbjafus chorufque am ant urn 

Mufas hoc cup i tint, tui laborum 

Et quic quid it': 'quumift^ddhuc tuifqut 

Servatum pluteit. Tibi at videmur 

Non tarn queerer e quam par are nobis 
Laudem, dum wlumus palam mermis 
Tot laurtis cupidi repofia fcripta • 

Dum fecemerc te tuifqut Mute 
Audemm numero unguis liquor em 
Guflante, ut veteres novem forores 
Et fircnibw & [olent c ic adis $ 
Dtttn & fecernere pop te videmur f 
Efflictim petimus novnmque librum 
Qui nutlo facer bate petatur 4V9 ' ' 
Qui nullo facer exolefcat avo, 
Qui cur is niteat tuis fecundis ; 
Vt ms fcire aliqut d Jim,)l putetur. 
Atqui hoc macle fies, vel tque calpar, 

I Quod diis inferium, tibi facremus, 
tTt nobis bene fit . tuimque frontem 
Ptrfunddnt eders recentiores 
Et fplendor novus, Invident coronam 
Hanc t ant am patrU tibjque ( quant i 
Sternum a merit tuofuperbum 
Anglo-rum genus effe pofit ohm) 
Tamnm que pen it us voluht amxnjt 
Sublatas liter as, tint 'ntve lucent 

j lonfonl nimiam tenebriones. 

I. Selcten I . C. 

To B L X. 


MAy I fubferibe a name ? dares ray bold quill 
Write that or goo3 or ill, 
Whofe fume is of that height, that, to mine eye, 
Its hcid is in the sky? 
Yes. Since the moft cenfures, belecves, and faith 

By an implicit faith: 
Left their misfortune make them chance amide, 

I le watt them right by this. 
Ot nil I know thou onely art the man 

1 bat dares but what he can : 
Yet by performance fhowes he can doe more 

Than hath becne done before, 
Or will be after, (fuch alTurance gives 

Perfection uhere it lives.) 
Words fpeak thy matter; matter fills thy words. 

And choyce that grace affords 
That both are bed : and both moft fitly plac't, 

Arc with new Venus grac't 
From artfull method; al( in this point meet, 

With good to. mingle fweet. 
Tbcfc are thy lower parts. What ftands above 

Who fees nor yet rauft love,, 
When on the Bafe he reades Ben. Jonsohs name. 

And hcares the reft from Fame. 
This from my love of truth : which payes. this due 

To your juft worth, not you. 

Ed* Hept&dt 


The Poet Laureat, Ben. Jonson. 

IJEre is a Poet I whofe unmudled ftraincs 

* ■■•Show that he held all Helicon ins braines. 

What here is writ, is fterling; every line 

Was well-allowed of by the Mufes nine. 

When for the ftage* a Drama he did lay 

Tragick or Cornicle, he ftill bore away 

The (bck and buskin - clearer notes than his 

No Swan e're fang upon our Thamcfis • 

For Lyrick fwectnciTe in an Ode, or Sonnet 

To Be n the beft of wits might vaile their Bonnet. 

His Genius juftly in an Entheat rage 

Oft ladit the dull-fworn fadlors for the fta<*e: 

For Alchymie crtough't make a glorious glolTe, 

Compar'dwith gold is bullion and bafedroflc. 

Wii. Ho DO SON* 


On his elaborated Arwoncrived Playes. 

An E P I G R A M * 

r Ach like an Indian Ship or Hull appeares 
£lb t tooke a voyage for fomc ccrtajiic ycarcs 
To nlow the Tea, and furrow up the mam, ■ 
Indtght rich ingots from his loaden brain. 
H ? Art the jM I h» Labourswcrc the lines, 

Hh folidc /tote d* «*&" of biS hncs * 

H1SI ° Wil. Hodgson. 

Upon Se Janus, 

SO £r/»?J d* wcalth-contratling jeweller 
Pearles and deare fl ones, from richefl fljores And flremeS 
As thy accompltfbt travaile doth confer 

From skill-inricbed foules, their wealthy er gems ; 
So doth his hand encbafe in ammeld gold, 

Cut, and adorn d beyond their native merits, 
HU [olid flames, as thine bath here inrold 

In more than golden verfe, thofe better 'd 'f pints 3 
So bee entreafures Princes cabinets, 

As thy wealth will their wiflnd libraries 5 
So, on the throat of the rude [ex, he fets 

His ventroui foot, for his illufkrous pri[e ; 
And through wilde defarts, Arm a with wilder beafls^ 

As thou adventur'fl on the multitude, 
Vpon the boggie, and engulfed brefls 

Of byrelings , [worne to findc mojl right, mofl rude : 
And bee, in [formes at fe'a, doth not endure, 

Nor in ijafl defarts, amongst wolves, more danger j 
Than Tee, that would with vertut live [ecure, 

Suflaint for her in every vices anger. 
Nor is thit Allegoric unjuflly rackt, 

To this fl range length: Ontly, that jewels art, 
In eflimation meerely, fo exaR : 

And thy worke, in it fclfc, is deare and rare*. 
wherein Minerva had beene vanquished, 

Had fbec, by it, her [acred homes advanc't, 
And through thy fubjetl woven her graphic k tbrtti 

Contending therein, to be more entranc't • 
Tor, though thy hand was [sane addrefl to draw 

The [tmi-circlc of S k j a n u s life, 
Thy Mafc yet makes it the whole fpheare, and law 

To all State.lives : and bounds ambition's flrife. 

\nd as a little Irooke creep es from his bring, 

With fallow tremblings, through the loweft vales 
As if he [turd hit flreame abroad to bring, 

left propbaneftet fljould wrong it, and rude gaiety 


But finding happie channels, and fupplyes 

Of other foordi mtxt with his modeft courfe, 
Ht grovees a goodly river, and de[cryes 

The (trength, that man'd hin\ \incc hi left his fource- t 
Then takes m in delightfome meades, and groves, 

And, with his two-edgd waters, flourishes 
Before great palaces, and all mens loves 

Build by his fljores, to greet h V paffages : 

So thy chafe Mufe, by vertuous fclfe-miflrufl, 

which is a true marke of the truefl merit; 
In virgin feare of mens illiterate lull, 

Shut her (oft wings, and durfl not jljew her flpirit^ 
Till, nobly cfcrifbt, now thou lettfl herjlie, 

Singing the [able Orgies of the Mufcs, 
And in the bigbefl pitch of Trigoe i ie , 

Mak'(l her command all things thy ground produces j 
Sefides, thy Pocme hath thit due refpeX, 

That it lets paffe noth'n^ without o'ferving, 
worthy intrusion ; or that might correH 

Rude manners, and renowne the well deferving : 
Performing [itch a livdy evidence 

In thy narrations, that thy hearers ft ill 
Thou turn'fl to thy fpeftators ; and the [enfe 

That thy fpeHators have of good or ill, 
Thou injeHfl jo)>nly to thy readers foules . 

So deare it held, fo deckt thy numerous taske ? 1 
As thou putt ft handles to the Thefpian boules, 

Orfluck'fl rich plumes in the PiUadian caske* 
All thy worth, yet, thy felfe must patronife, 

By quaffing more of the Caftalian head; 
In expifcation of whofe my fieri es, r , 

Our nets mufl flill be cloggd, with heayie lead, 
To make them ftnke, and catch: For chearefull goLi 

Was never found in the Pierian flreames, 
But wants, and fcornes, and fbames for filvtr fold, 

what I what (ball we ele'cl in thefe e ttreames £ 
Now by the [bafts of the great Cyrrham Poet, 

Thatbeare all light, that is, about the world; 
I would all dull Poet-haters know it, 

They fball be fouli bound, and in darkneffe httrld^ 
A thou r a>id yeares (is Satan was, their fire) 

Ere any, worthy the poetiquc name, 
{Might I, that warme but at the Mufcs fire, 

Prefume to guard it) jbould let deathlejfe Fatri: 
Light halfe a beame of all her hundred eyes, 

At hit dimme taper, in their memories. 
Flie, flte^ you are too neere $ fo, odorous flowers 

Being held too neere the fenfor of our fen[e i 
Render not pure, nor fo [metre their powers , 

As being held a little diflance thence. 



, ~ U the Mid but Jehlw ft*. a mich , , " 

Th Knoviedgt bast, »hiS is in love mth goodneffe, 
(If Poefic vtre not > aviftjcd Jo mucli, 

And her co^os J tdge, heldtktfimpleft voodneffe, 
Thoach of.ll bests, that ten, F er humane brat nes, 

Iters ever was moft fubtle, »<&*** ho b> 
Th-ll binding favage lives, in ctvdl cbatnes : 

Solely religious, and Adored Solely- 

If men felt A* ) they voaldnotthm.ka love, 

7 hat gives iifelfe, in her, did vanities give- 
jFho is (in earth, though low) in worth above, 
Moft able t honour life, though leaf to live. 
And fo good Friend, fafe pajjage to thy freight, 
To thee a long peace, through a vertuons ftrife, 
in which, let's 'both contend to Vcrtucs height, ' 
Not making fame our objeR, but good life. 

Geor. Chapman 

To His worthy friend, B e n. I o n s o n ? 

Vfon his SeJAnu s. 

IN that, this Booke doth deignc Sejanus name, 
Him unto more, than C/£SAp.s love, k brings: 
For, where he could not with ambition's wings, 
One quill doth heave him to the height of tame.' 
Yee great-ones though ( whole ends may be the fame ) ' 
Know, that, how ever we doe flatter Kings, 
Their favours (like themfclvcs) arc fading things, 
With no lcflc envie had, than loft with (hamc 
Nor make your fclves Icffe honcft than you arc, 
To make our Author wifer than he is : 
Nc of fuch crimes accufe him, which I dare 
By all his Mufer fwcare, be none of his. 

The men arc not, fome faults maybe thefe times: 
He ads thofe men, and they did act thefe crimes. 


Hugh Holland 

- Amiciffimo, &: meritiflimo Ben.Jonson. 

In Vulponcm. 

QVod arte aufm esbictua s Voct^ y 
StAudirent Ttomwum Deicjne juris 
Citifafti, xetresfccjui dtntiUricrque^/ 
O mixes fkpermus adfitltttcm. 
•Hufdfimt veteresaraneoft ; 
T*mnemo veterans tJtfcsf$tttior % lit tfi 
{Uosquodftqucru novntor audi*. ' 

rtxtdmen <jnoda?if j wiqutprins^ 

Lthri fAKhic Induant* r hark t 

Nam ck xrtts fn'qrhU eft ncgand* % 
N*fcuntt'!rc]nefcncs y epirnr, tilt 
Libri, qucts fare vupcrawitMcm. 
Prifcis . ingenium fat ;r, Ifiborquc 
Tc pare??; fa* fuperes \ut &fmuros % 

x noflra vitioptdie fnmas y 
Qua frifiys fi^erup;ia : &fmterps, 

I, D. 

TO MY FRIEND, Mr-BEN. Jonson. 

Vpon bit Alch)mift. 

A Mailer, read in flatteries great skill, 
Could not patfc truth, though he would force his will, 
By praifing this too much, to get more praife 
In his Art, than you out of yours doe raife; 
Nor can full truth be utterd of your worth, 
UnlelTe you your owne prailes doe fee forth: 
Noncelfe can write fo skilfully, to Chew 
Your praife : Ages ("hall pay, yet (till muft owe. 
All I dare fay, is, you have written well-, 
In what exceeding height, I dare not tell. 

George Lucy 


Ad utramque academiam, 

Dc Benjamin Jonsonio. 

In Vulponem. 

Ic ille eft primus, qui do&um drama Britannis, 
Graiorum antiqua,& Latii monimenta Tbeatri, 
Tanquam explorator verfans, ftelicibsts aufis 
Prebebit: Magnis emptis Gemma zQxifavete. 
Alterutra veteres contenti laude: Cothurnum hie, 
Atque pari (becum traclat Sol fcenicus arte ; 
Das Volpone jocos,flcm SeJaNE dedifli. 
At ft Jonsonias muldatas I i mite Mufas 
Angufto plangent quiquam: Vos,dicite, contra, 

O nimium miferos quibut A M G L I S A tf L r c A tin pii 
Ant non fat not a eft; aut que is (feu tram' mare natie) 
Haud not a omnino : I'egetet cum tempore Vates, 
Mutabit patriam,ft£tqut ipfe A.nglus Apollo. 

£. Bolt on 

To my deare friend, M. Ben. Ionson 

Vpon his Fox. 

IF it might (land with Iuft ice, to allow 
■*The fwift converfion of all follies; now, 
Such is my Mercy, that I could admit 
All forts (hould equally approve the wit 
Of this thy even worke : vvhofc growing fame 
Shall raife thee high, and thou it, with thy name. 
And did not manners, and my love commaad 
Me to forbeare to make thofe underlhnd, 
Whom thou, perhaps, haft in thy wifer doome 
Long fince, firmely xefolv d, (hall never come 






To ill «!* the art, which thou alone 

mi n uihtcur onguc, the. rules of time, of place, 

KKircs, ! deIiv«'d,- wi* the grace 

Of -ftilc, ntoh only is farrc more, 

Th ^/yfMbaehJthknovviiekfo^ 

Bur, fince our febrile fiallants think it good 
To like of pougUC: r wr may be underftood, 
Left they mould be ditprovd ; or have, at bed, 
Sromacks Co raw, that nothing can digeft 
But what's obfecne, or barkes : Let us defire 
They may continue, (imply, to admire 
Fine clothes, and ttrangc vW* ; and may live, in age, 
To lee thcrafelvcs ill brought upon the ftagc, 
And' like it. Whil'ft thy bold, and knowing Mufe 
Contemns all praife, but fuch as thouwouldft chufe. 

Franc. B e a umon t c 




A Comedy, 





Earc you bad Writers, and though you not fee, 
_ I .will informc you where you happie bee: 
Provide the raoft malicious thoughts you can, 
And bend them all againft fomc private man, . 
To bring him, not his vices, on the ftage; 
Your envic fliall be clad in fome poorc rage. 
And your expreiling of him fliall be fuch, 
That he himfclfe (ball think he hath no touch." 
Where he that ftrongly writes, although he meane 
To fcourge but vices in a labour'd Scene, 
Yet private faults (ball be fo well expreft 
As men doc ael'hcm, that each private bred - , 
That findes thefe errors in it -felfe, (lull fay, 
He recant mce, not my vices, in the Play. 

Franc. Beaum ont. 

Adted in the yeere 1598. By the then 

Lord Chamberlaine 
his Servants. 

The Author B. I. 

J U V E Ni 

IUud tmc* invidcMVtti, %ucm pulpit* p*[ctt»ti 

To my friend M. B i; n. Ionson. 

Vyon bis Catiline. 

TF thouhad'ft itch'd after the wilde applaufc 

Of common people, and had'ft made thy lawes 
In writing, fuch, as catch'd at prcfent voice, 
I (bould commend the thing, but not thy choifc. 
But thou haft fquar'd thy rules, by what is good; 
And art, three ages yet, from under flood : 
And ( I dare fay) in it, there lyes much wit 
Loft, till thy readers can grow up to it. 
Which they can ne're out-grow, to findc it ill, 
But mud fall back againc, or like it (till. 

Franc Beaumont. 



Printed by Richard Bishop. 

M. DC. XL, 







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M r . Cambden, Clarentiaux. 

flier* are, no doubt , a fupercilious 
race in the world, who will efleem 
all office, done you in this kind, an 
injur ie -Jo folemne a Vice it is with 
them to u/e the authoritie of their 
ignorance, to the crying downe of 
Poetry, or the Trofejfors: 'But, 
my gratitude muH not leaye to correU their errour • 
fime I am none of thoje that canfuffer the benefits con* 
fer'd upon my youth to peri/h-with my age. It is a fraile 

memory, that remembers but prefent things: <iAnd, had 
the favour of the times fo confpird with my difpofition, at 
it could haye brought forth other, or better, you had had 
the fame proportion, and number of the fruits, the fir (I. 
S^owjpray you> to accept this,fuch, wherein neither the 
confefsion of my manners (hall mahyou blufh ; nor of my 
jludies, repent you to haye been the InHruBer : And, for 
theprojejsion of my thanl{fulnejfe % lamfure, it will,witb 
good men, find either pratje, or excufe* 

Your true lover, 

Ben. Iohnson. 

b % 

The Perfons of the Play. 

KnoNvell, ^.Ugonlm**. 

M r.STEFHSX,^«^7-^ 

We L MUD, «" balfc Bntktr. 

J u s t. C l ■ m e n r t An$ldm<rry Mfl0ute. 

Roger Forma") Hit Clerk*. 

Kitely, A Mtrchtm. 
Dams Kiteiv, Hit wife. 

M". Bridcet, /ftr Sitter. 
M r - M a t t h s w, 7j&* Ttnne-CjtiB, 


Coi, oif Water-hearer. 
Jib, His Wife. 

CaF'.Bobadii LyAFAuls-mM, 


rn£ scene 


The principall Comedians were 

VViu. Shakeshari. Ric. BuRbadge. 

Aug. Pmilips % 
Hen. Condel. 
Will. Slyb. 
Will, kikpi. 

Joh. Heminos. 
Tao. Poi'E. 

Chr. Bees ton. 
Joh. Duke. 

Firfl Mud in thyme i 59 g, mthallommt of the 

^" '/Rev ells. 


„ T ^ 





Hoqgh need make many /'m'w, and Tome fuch 

As Art and N ature have not betterd much ; 
Yet ours, for want, hath not fo lov'd the fhge: 
As he dare fervc th'ill cuftomes of the ase ; 

^ _ _ _ * n i 

Or purchafe your delight at fuch' a rate; 
As, for it, he himfclfe mud iuftly hate. 
To make a child, now fwadled, to proceed 
Man, and then fhoote up, in one beard, and weed, 

Pall threefcore yccres : or, with three nifty fwords, 
And helpe of fome few foot-and-halfe-foote words, 
Fight over Torl-e, and Lancajters long iarrcs: 
And in the tyring-houfc bring wounds, to fcarres. 
He rather prayes , you will be pleas'd to fee 
One fuch , to day, as other playes fliould be. 
Where neither Chorus wafts you ore the feas; 
Nor creaking rhronc comes downe, theboyesto plcafc; 
Nor nimble fquibbe is feene,to make afear'd 
The gentlewomen 5 nor roul'd bullet heard -' 
To fay, it thunders; nor tempeftuous drurtime 
Rumbles, to tell you when the ftorme doth come; 
But deeds, and language, fuch as men doe ufc : 
And perfons, fuch TLsComxdie would chufe, 
When (he would fliewan Image of the times, 
Andfport with humane follies, not with crimes* 
Except, we make'hem fuch by loving ftill 
Our popular errors, when we knowth'are ill. 
I mcane fuch errors, as you'll all confefTe 
By laughing at them, they deferve no leife: 
Which when you heartily doe, there's hope left, then, 
You, that have fo .grae'd monfters, may like men. 

B 3 





Eyerj Man in hi Humour 


Kno'well, Brays 


Worme, M r Stephen. 

Goodly day toward ! anda fcrfh i morning! Brayne-Wokmk, 
OH up your yoog mailer : bid him n e, fir. 
* Tc 1 himj 1 ha/c iomc bafinefc to employ him. 

n R a w ill ^ prcfcnrJy . Kn o . But hearc you, firah, 
ifh B ebe*a iSX diJbc himnot. B* a. Wei fir. 

Kno HW happy, yet, (hould I cftcemc my felfe 
Could I ( by any prafticc ) vvc anc the boy 
From one vamc courfe of ftudie, he aftetts. 
He is a fcoller, if a man may truft 
The liberal! voyce of Fame, in her report 
Of good accompt, in both our Vniverfities, 
Either of which hath favour'd him with graces: 
But their indulgence, muft not fpring in mc 
A fond opinion , that he cannot crre* 
My felfe was once a ftudent; and, indeed. 
Fed with the fclfe-fame humour , he is now^ 
Dreaming on nought but idle Poetrie , 
Thaifniitlefle, and unprofitable Art, 
Good vnto none, but leaft to the Profeflbrs^ 
Which, then, I thought the miftreue of all knowledge: 
But fince, time, and the truth have wak'dmy judgement \ 
And reafon taught me better to diftinguifh, 
The vaine,from thufefull learnings. Couflin Stephen 1 
What newes with you , that you are here fo early ? 

Ste. Nothing, but cene come to fee how you doe, uncle. 

Kno. That's kindly done, you are wel-come coufle, 

Ste. I, I know that fir , I would not ba'comc elfe. 
How does my couffin Edward, uncle? 

Kno. O, well coufle , goe in and fte : I doubt he be fcarce ftirrinff v 

St e. Uncle , afore I $oe in, can you tell me , an'he have ere a hnr 


Kno. Why, 

o. VVhy, I hope you will not a hawking now, will vou ? 
Kno. O.moft ridiculous. 

lid I fcorne it, I, fo I doc to 1 11 £ 3 ^ •*»"■«»*« And by gai 

regies, «^'^^®35r^y^*w 
ponds, A finc jdl M^B SKS5a»4-a^ , 




C:?!"; J? N^S/ " ^ " 0t ?# X klio ^^a^d- oc ; 

Kno. You are a prodigall abfurd cockf-corabe : Goeto 
Nay never looke at me , it's I that fpeakc. . 

Tak t as you will fir, HI not flatter .you. 
Ha'you not yet found meancs enow, to wall: 
That, which your friends have left you, but you flluft 
Goe cart away your money on a kite, 
And know not how to keepe it, when you ha done ? 

its comely ! this will make you a gentleman! 

Well confen , well ! I fee you are eenc paft hope 
Vt all reclaimc.. I , fo, now you are told on it, 

You looke another vvay. Step.- What would you ha'me do^ 
Kno. YVhat would I have you do ? I'll tell you kinhW 

Learr.c to be wife, and pracrife how to thrive, i 3 

That would I have you do: and not to fpend 

Your coyne on every bable, that you phanfie, 

Or every fooliih braine, that humors you. 

1 would not have you to invade each place, 
Nor thruft your felfe on all focieties, i 
Till mens affe&ions, or your owne dciert; 
Should worthily invite you to your ranke.' 
He, that is fo refpeaicfle in hiscourfes, 
Oft fells his reputation, at cheape market." 
Nor would 1 , you fhould melt away your felfe ' 
In flafliing brav'rie, lead while you affect ' 
Jo make a blaze of gentrie to the world, 
A little purTe of fcorne extinaiifl, it, 
And you be kf,, like an unfav'ry fnufle, 
Whofe propertie is only to offend. 
I Id ha you fobcr, and containe your felfe? 
Not, that your f ayle be bigger than your boat : 
But moderate your expences now (at firft) 
As you may keepe the fame proportion ftill. 
Nor, Itand fo much on your gentilitie, 
Which is an ayric, and meere borrow'd thin?,' 
From dead mens duft, and bones: and noneof yours 
except you make, or hold it. Who comes here ? 




Scene i r. 


Servant, M'.Stephen, KnoVel r_; . 

~ , B R A Y N E-W ORME. 

gAve you, gentlemen. 

youare wd'come ay, a V L e T ,0 i?° t ftandmuch ohourgentflitie, friend yet, 
Ld Jlrl M^n ™r d \ afl f re V °, U ' ? li)c unc,c h « e " a man of a thou- 

Sferc,if 2£?f COmm ° n kvv) mafter S T h p h e n, as fimple as I 




Every ManjnJ " Humour. 

' f \ 1 1 &5S*S?Si »din very good time, fir. Youdo t 

notfloiUjfticnd^yo 117 
Serv. Not I, fir. vouwcrcn0tbc ft } rir. an'younioulcUicrcbce 

SS andWquicklytoo: goeto. And they can gfc 

■ --toOian need bee. ip .' 

fir let this" farisfieyou : good faith,! had no fuch intent. 
Sir, an* I thought you had, I would talke with you, and that 

tnem can pcrcc*v C -, -»- -— » - 


Pr SERv!'GoocJ iVlaftcr Stephi N,foyoumay,fir, at your pleafure.' 

Step. And fo I would fir, good my faucic companion ! an* you were 
ouzo' mine uncles ground, I can tell you; though I doe not ftand upon 
niygentilitie^neither int. 

Kno. Coulin! coufin! will this nerc be left ? 

Step. Whorfon bafe fellow! amcchanicall ferving-man ! By this 
cudgell, and 'twere not for fbame, I would ■ ' ■ ■ 

Kno. What would you doe, you petemptory gull? 
If you cannot bee quiet, get you hence. 
You fee, the honeft man demeanes himfclfe 
Mode Illy to'ards you, giving no teply 
To your unfeafon'djquarrclling, rude fairiion : 
And, fiill you huffe it, with a kind of carriage^ 
As void of wit, as of humanitie. 
G ° e > eet vou in ; 'fore heaven; I am aflianrd 
Thou halt a kinf-mans intereft in mee. 

Serv. I pray fir. Is this Rafter Kno'well's houfe ? 

Kno. Yes, mary, is it fir. 

Serv. I mould enquire for a gentleman, here,one Matter Edward 

IZ w \ i 1 : u oc c you kn0vv ™y fuch > fir > l P ra y you ? 

Kno. mould forget my Celfc cifc, fir. 
■Jm**' • rC i y0U . r . he S endGman ? cry you mcrcic fir : I was rcciuir'dbw 
S*ft& ° tlCiaS l "^ ° UC J ChlS ^ °' thc -vvne^dKS 

*A J:SR/£|fe -ember yo. 

might the gentleman* namebee/ir.that £ 

^ V "M n « M ^f WELI - BRED > fir - 
W The ffl L KW Sendeman » is hee not , 
cham i'theold S5& *"" KlTELY "«"«« «* fifter : therich mer 

>pray yoi 

Kno Xoura yvelyme . Braine . worMEj 

VVe fe rT t0 "V fiSrfaaion.*^ 

goe in 



To fee if both doe anfwer my fonncs praifes, 

Who is almoft growne the Idolater 

Of this young Wei l-bred ; what have we here ? what's this ? 

m Why, Ned,/ befeecb thee • bajl thoufbr-fworne aU thy friends i' the old Jew 
rie i or doft thou thtnke ns all Icvves that inhabit there , yet 1 If thou doff, come 
overhand but fee our pripperie: change an old fl) irt, for a whole [mock mth 
us. Doe not conceive that antipathy betweene ns, and Hogs-den • as was be- 
tweene Icwes, and hogs-fell). Leave thy vigilant father, alone,' to number 
over h A green apricots, evening, andmoming, d the north-weft wall: An'l 
hadbeene his fonne, I hadfavdhim the labour ± lon^fince-, if, taking in alL the 
yong wenches, tharpafje ly,at tbeback-dore, and codd ling every kernel/ of the 
fruit for 'hem, would ha ferv'd. But, pr'y free, c ome over to me, quickly, this 
morning; I have fuch a prefentfor thee ( our Turkie company 'never fent the 
like to the Grand-S ignioH.) One is a Rimer, ft r ; o your owne batch your 
owne levin-, but doth think himfelfe Poet-maior, o' the towne: willing'to be 

fbowne, and worthy tobefeene. The other ,/ will not venter his defer tption. 

with you, till you come , becaufe I would ha you make hither with an appetite, if 
the worfi of 'hem be not worth your iourney, draw your bill of charges, as uncon- 
scionable, as any Guild-ball verdict will give it you, and you jbal) be allow d 
your viaticum. 

From the wind-mill. 

From the Burdello, it might come as well 5 
the Spittle: or Pitt-batch. Is this the man, 
My forme hath fung fo, for the happieft witt, 
The choyfeft braine, the times hath lent us forth ? 
I know not what he may be. in the arts 3 
Nor what in fchoolcs : but furely, for his manners, 
1 iudge him a prophane, and diuolutc wretch : 
Worle, by poneffion of fuch great good gifts, 
Being the mafter of fo loofe a fpirir. 
Why, what unhallow'd ruffian would have wrir, 
In fuch a fcurrilous manner, to a friend! 
Why fhould he thinke, 1 tell my Apri-cotcs? 
Or play th' Hefperian Dragon, with my fruit, 
To watch it? Well, my fonne, I had thought 
Yhad had more iudgement, t'havc made eJc&iorr 
Of your companions, than t'have tane ©n truft, 
Such petulant, jeering gamefters, that can fpare 
No argument, or fubjeft from their jeft. 
But I perceive, affection makes a foole 
Ofanyman,too much the father. Brayn-worm. 

Bka-y. Sir. 

Kno. Is the fellow gone that brought this letter? 

Bray. Ycsj' fir, a prety while fincc. - 

Kno. And, where's your yong mafter ? 

Bray. In his chamber fir. 

Kno . He fpake not with the fellow / did he ? 

Bra. No fir, he faw him not. 

Kn o • Take you this letter, and deliver it my fonne 3 





Ho^poa re-y v.o.ent meane oft ^ ^ 
The unbr died courfe of V° u ' Jent and in kind) 
Rcftraind gropes ™° e ££ Kr0U ' s grey-hound, 

Like to the «g«, ^ "J me J^held, 
Who d« e fo U« kfa « at S hU ho , dcrs throat . 

^™ eS is h :t; n of Sing^ more by love, 

Force Ses on fervile natures, not the free. 

He that's compelM to gooaneffe may be good , 

But Tis but for that fit: where others drawn 

By foftnefic, and example, get a habtt. 

Then, if they fttay, but warne 'hem: and, the fcroe 

They (hould for vettu'have done, they'll doe for fhamc. 

JB i. Scene 1 1 r. 

Edw. Kno'w ell, Brayne-worme, 

M r Stephen. 


rvd he open it, fayoftthou? 

*-^ Bray. Yes, o* my word .fir, and read the contents. 

E.Kn. That fcarce contents inc. What countenance (pr*ythee) 
made he, i'thc reading of it ? was he angry, or pleas'd ? 

Bray. Nay fir, I faw him not reade it, nor open it, I aflure your 
E.Kn. No ? how know'ft thou, then, that he did either ? 
Bray. Marie fir, becaufe he charg'd me, on my life, to tell no body, 
that he open'd it : which, unlcfle hee had done, hec would never fearc to 

have it icveaVd. 

E.Kn. That's true: well I thank thee , Brayne-worme. 

Step. O, Brayne-worme, did'ft thou not fee a fellow here in J 

what-fha -call-him doublet ! he brought mine uncle a letter e'en now. 

Bray. Yes, mafter Stephen, what of him? 

Step. 0,1 ha'fuch a minde to beat him Where is hec? canft 

thou tell ? 

Bray. Faith, he is not of that minde : he is gone, mafter St h then' 
Step. Gone ? which way ? when went he '• how long fincc i 

5™ Y ' ? 6 / V d n h ^ C< :V H ^ t ?P kc horfc » ac thc ftrcct dorc. 
bTEp. And , 1 ft al d i che fields ! horfon [c<mdcr-bao rogue ! 6 that 1 

had but a horfe to fetch him back again. 

Step. Bur Iha no boots , that's the fpight ont. b 

StpV Sm v VVifP K° f W>rould.lfard,maftcr Stephen. 
andhi£ p ^ Itb f* no bootto follow him, now , lethimecnegt* 

Bra? ?2rtte r C t0 "f* F* a litdc ' Hc do ' s ff > v «c me ^ 
»W. Youli be wqrfevexd, when youare trufsU mafter StfpHE* 


kvcry Man in his Humour. 


Be ft, keepe un-brae'd \ and walk your felfes/ till you b cc cold : your chollef 
may foundre you elfe. 

Step. By my faith, and fo I will, now thou rcll'ft mcon'c: Ho'.vdoft 
thou like my [fegge, B r a" y v-w or m ? 

Bray. Avery good Iesgc ! mafter Stephen ! but thc woollen (lock- 
ing do's not commend it lo well. 

S r e p . Fotq the (lockings be good inough , now fummer is comminr; 
on , for the dull : lie have a paireof filke,again\vinrer, that I goe to dwell 
i'rhc rownc. I thinke my Icggc would llicw in a (ilke-ho(c *— 

Bray. Beleevcmc, mafteYSTEPHEN, rarely well, - 

Si lp. In (udnefte, I thinke it would -■ I have areafonablc good lc?,ge. 

Bray. You have an excellent good legge, mafter Stephen , bur. I 
cannot (lay. to praife iz longer now,md I am very forry for T. 

Step. Another time will fcrvc, Brayn-worm. Gramcrcy for this'. 
E.Kn. Hi, ha, ha 

Step. Slid, I hope, he hughes not at me, and he doe '- ffiSS 

£. Km. Here was a letter, indeed, to bee intercepted by a mans father, Inter. 
and doc him good with him ! Hec cannot but thinke moll verruoufly, 
bblrj of me, and thc fender, fure a that make thc eaierull Coftar'-mongerof 

ther man; for he takes much phyllckr ancfoft' taking phyfick makes a man 
very patient. But would your packet, Mifter Wei-ured, hadarrivd an 
lii-n,in fiich a minute of his patience ; then, wee had known theerid of ir, 
which now is doubt full, and threatens— What J my wife eoufen J May, 
thcn,l'll furniiTi our fcaft tfith one gull more to'ard the mcfte. Hce.wrires 
to mcc of a brace, and here's one, that's three : O, lor a fourth J Fortune^ 
if ever thon'lt ufe thine eyes, I intreat thee— — • — 

Step. Q,now I fee, who hec laught'ar . Hec Jaaght at forte-body in 
that letier.. By rbis good light, an'hcehaaVIaugTir; at? mce — ! — * 

E.Kn. How now, coufen Stephen, melancholy? 

St f P . Yes, a little. 1 thought, you .\ud laugh; at mee, eoutfen.' 

E.Kn. Why, wharan' I had couflc ? what would you ha' done ? 

Sr e p. By this Jighr, I would ha" told mine uncle. * • 

E.Kn . Nay, if you would ha* told your uncle, I* did laugh at \/ou,coufle«, 

Step. Did you, indeed? 
k E.KN. YcSjindecd. 

Step. Why, then— — 
• E.Kn. What then? ; - 

S i i fatisfied, it is fufficienr. Hi^l^^^^^^^^^l 

H.Kn. Why '• w " ' 

cou; tefie of you 
to come to him 

'would leave you > I prote'ft 


E.Kn. No, no, you (hall not protcft, coufle. 





Every Man in his Humour. 

<^Tr^f^^ proccd more to ay 

friend, than lie rpeakco^atthisnmc. 

E .KK . You fr«kc vciy w dh ^ ^ . bm j fpcakc to ^ 

Step. Nay, not ioncuncr,y r 

couz ? Doc you know what you fay ? A gentleman 

ffiX^Sftft, f ° * ft y ^fW" 1 y - ° , tlus T 

w conceafcfuchreall ornaments asthefc, and Ihaddo* their glory as a 
Millaners wife do's her wrought (tomachcr, W ith a fmok.e lawnepra black 
cvSo i cow', it cannofbee anf.vefd, go not about it. Drak e s old 
ftip at DtfMlwq fooner circle the world againc. Come, mone not the! 

think you of this, couz? ,♦'./,, j j'^'ij 

Step. Why, I doe think of it , and 1 will bee more proud, and melan- 
choly, and gentleman-like,than I have been < Tie enfure you. 

E Kn Why that's refolute Matter Stephen! Now, it I can but hold 
him up to his height, as it is happily begun,it will doe well for a Suburb- 
humour : wee may hap have a match with the Citie, and play him tor for : 
tie pound. Come, couz. 

Step. Tie follow you. 

E.Kn. Follow nice ? you muft goc before. 

Step. Nay, an' I muft, I will.' Pray you, (hew mejgood cou fin. 


■ . 

AB i. Scene i v. 


C O B." 



Think this bee the houfe : what,hough ? 

Cob. Who 's there ? O, Mafter Matthew ! gi' your worftiip 
good morrow. 

Mat. What! Cob '• how doft thou, good Cob ? doft thou inha- 
bire here, Cob ? 

Cob. I fir, I and my linage ha kept a poor houfe,here, in our dayes. 

trie came 


. 1 iir, I and my linage ha kept a poor houfe,hcre, in our t 
. Thy linage, /to*/W Cob, what linage ? what linage? 
. Why fir,an ancient linagc,and a princely. Mine ancc'tri 

red herring that was broyld in Adam, and Eye's kitchin,doe I fetch my 
pedigree from, by the Harrots books. His Cob, was my great- grcat- 
rnighry-grcat Grandfather. 

M a t.' 

Every Man in bis Humour. 

Mat. Why mightie ? why mightie ? I pray thee. 

Cob. 0,it was a mightie while agoe, fir,and a mightie great Cob. 

Mat. How know'ft thou that? 

Cob. How know I ? why, I fmell his ghoft,ever and anon. 

Mat. Smell a ghoft ? 6 unfavoury jeft! and the ghoft of a herring Co;; . , 

Cob. I fir, with favour of your worships nofe, M r . Matthew, why 
not the ghoft of a herring-cob,afwell as the ghoft: of raftier-bacon ? 

Mat. Roger Bacon, thou would ft fay ? 

Cob. I fay rafher-bacon. They were both broyld o* the coles $ and 
a man may fmell broyld meatc, I hope ? you are a fchollcr, upfolvc mee 
that, now. 

Mat. O raw ignorance • Cob, canft thou Chew mee of a gentleman, 
one Captaine Bobadlll, where his lodging is ? 

Cob. O, my gueft, fir! you meane. 

Mat. Thy gueft ! Alas ! ha, ha. 

Cob. Why doe you laugh, fir ? Doc you not meane Captaine 
B o b a d i l l ? 

Mat. Cob, 'pray thee advife thy felfe well : doe not wrong the Gen- 
tleman, and thy felfe too. I dare be fvvorne,he fcornes thy houfe : hec '• He 
lodge in fuch a bafe obfeure place, as thy houfe ! Tut, I know his difpofi- 
tion fo well, he would not lye in thy bed, if tho'uldft gi'ithim. 

*ob. I will not give it him, though,Sir: Mane, I thought fomewhat 
wa s in't,wc could not get him to bed,all night '.-'Well Sir,though he lie not 
o' my bed, he lyes o' my bench : an't pleafc you to goe up, Sir,you (hall find 
him with two cufhions under his head, and his cloke wrapt about him, as 
though he had neither won nor loft, and yet (I warrant) he ne're caft better 

in his life,thanhe has done to night. 
Mat. Why ? was he drunke ? 
Cob . Drunke Sir ? you heart not mee fiy Co. Perhaps, hee fwallow'd 
a Tavernc-token, or fome fuch device, Sir : I have nothing to doc withaW, 
I dealc with water, and not with wine. Gi' mee-my rankard therc,hougb. 
Godb'w'yoUjSir. It's fixe a clock : I fhould ha' carried two turnes,by this. 
What hough ? my ftopple? come. ' 

Mat. Lye in a water-bearers houfe I A Gentleman of his havings I 
Well, Tie tell him my mind. 

Cob. What Tib, (hew this Gentleman up to the Captaine. Oh,an* 
my houfe were the Brazen-head now 1 faith itwould ecne fpeake, Mofoolet 
yet. You (hould ha' fome now would take this M . Matthew to bee a 
Gentleman, at the leaft." His father s an honeft man, aworfhipfull Fi|h- 
monger^nd fo forth ; and now do's he creep, and wriggle into acc]mintance 
with all the brave gallants about the townc, fuch as my gueft is : (6, my 
gueft is a fine man) and they flout him invincibly. Hee ufeth every day 
to a Merchants houfe (where I ferve water) one Ma fter Kitely's i' the 
old lewrie ; and here's the jeft, he is in love with my Matters fitter, (Miftris 
Bridget) and calls her Miftris : and there he will fitypua wholeafrer- 
noonc fometimes, reading o' thcfefameabominablc,vile, (a pox on hem, 
I cannotabidc them) rafcallyverfcs,pojf^O')f °)' e{r y, and fpcaking Of enter* 
,/Ww, 'twill make a man burft to heare him. And the wenches, they doc fo 
reere, and ti-he at him — well, (hould they doe fo : much to me, 1 id for- 
wearc them all, by the foot of Pharaoh. There's an oath ! How many 

q water* 




gchanoath ? 6, 1 have a gueft (h Cc 

a ill Is difco* 

bit ktBCb. 

m( „.!xarers 'M«7» )£* f S»ibIeft, of any man chnfthed : By S>. 
wte "kc) hce do '^£%± body of me, as I am a Gentleman, 
George, thc^tofPHARAO", / hee do's take * is fame 

,„da Souldjer: achdamac oath* U <Q , fc ^ doe 

filthy roguith 2t"' rac fon b a^wnnelIs!Well,heeo W e S mccforti e 

W t0 'f^ ifrfnZm o° ofhcrpurfc, by fixe-pence atimc ) befides 
h.l hn« (nty «6 lent tarn ou ^ ^7 hee& h e „ ext ^ 3 ,- M# 

SfehaS^care'U kill, cat, up-«te ,11, and . loufe for 

the hangman. 

AB. u Scene v. 

Bobadill, Tib, Matthewo 

HOftefle, hoftefle* 
T i b . What fay you,fir ? 

Bob. A cup o' thy fmall beer, fweet hoftelTc; 

Tib, Sir, there's a gentleman, below, would fpeakc with you. 

Bob. A gentleman ! *ods fo, I am not within. 

Ti b . My husband told him you were, fir. 

Bob» What a plague— —what meant hec?^ 

Mat. Captaine Bobadill? 

Bob. Who's there? (take away the bafon,good hoftcfic) come up (fa 

Tib. Hec would defire ydu to come up j fir. You come into a cleanly 
houfcj here. 

Mat. 'Save you fir. 'Save you, Captained 

Bob. Gentle Maftcr M atthe w ! Is it you fir ? Pleafe you to fit down*, 

M ATi Thank you good Captain,you may fee,l am fomewhat audacious. 

Bob, Not fo, fir. I was requeued to fupper,laft night, bya fort of gal- 
lanrs, where you were wi(h'd for, and drunk to, I allure you. 

Mat. Vouchfafe mee,by whom, good Captaine. 

Bob. Mary, by young W ell-bre Q*and others : Why, hoftefle.a 
ftoole here,, for this gentleman. 

Mat . No hafte, fir, 'tis very well. 

Bob. Body of mee ! It was fo late ere we parted laft nighr, I can farce' 
open my eyes, yet ; I Was but new tifen, as you came: how paffes the da? 
abroad, fir > you can tell. J 

M at . Taith, fome halfe houre to feven : no* truft me, you have an ex- 
ceeding fine lodging here, very neat, and private ! 

Bob. Ifir: fit down, I pray you. M'.Matthew (in any cafe) DofTelfc 
no gentlemen of our acquaintance, with notice of my tadJ n a, ^ 

Mat. Who? Ifir? no. ' h 5 

* * v- ,.- - conceive you. 
. M ^9X*>rd,fir,lrcfoIvcfo. ^ 


btery Man in his Humour. 


Bob. I confelTc, I love a clcancly and quiet privacy, above all the tu- 
mult , and roare of fortune. What new book ha* you there ? What ! 

Qfbft HlF.RONYMO.' 

Mat. I , did you ever fee it ailed ? is't not well pend ? 

Bob. Well pend ? I would fainc fee all the Poets, of thefe times , pen 
fuch another play as that was .' they'll prate and fwaggcr, and keep a ftir 
of art and devices, when (as 1 am a gentleman) rcadc "hem j they are the 
mod (hallow, pictifull, barren fcllOwes , that live upon the face of the 
earth, againel 

Mat. Indeed, here are a number of fine fpceches in this book / O 
eyes, no eyes,but fount ay nes fraught with teares J Ther'sa conceit / founraincs 
fraught with teares J O life , r.o Ufa but lively forme of death ! Anorher J O 

a o,ld, no world,hut majje of publique wrongs ! A third i Confusd and fi ltd with 

murder, and mi [deeds I A .fourth/ 0,the Mu[es \ Is't not excellent ? Is't not 
fimply the bed that ever you heard, Captayne? Ha ? How do you like it> 

Bob. 'Tisgood. 

Ma t . To thee, the pureji objeft to my fenfe± . 
The mo(l refined ejjence heaven covers , , 

Send I thefe lines, wherein I doe commence 
7 he happy fate of turtle-billing lovers.- - 

If they prove rough, un-vclijb't, barfly and rude. 

Hajle made the veafte. Thus,mi/dJy, I conclude. ' 

Bob. Nay, proceed, proceed. Where's this? 

Mat. 1 his, fir ? a toy o' mine ownc, in my nonage •' the infancy of my tjkffl : » »u- 
Mufesl Bur, when will you come and fee my ftudie ? good faith, lean ffijj"*'i$ m 
fhew you (bine very good things,I have done of late — That boot becomes 

your leg, palling well, Captain, roc thinks ! 

Bob. So, fo, It's the fafhion, gentlemen now ufe* 

Mat. Troth, Captaine, and now you fpeak o'thc fafhion, Matter 
Wel-b ( iu-:d's elder Mother, and I, arc fain out exceedingly : this other 
day,I hapned ro enter into fbmc difcour/e of a banger, which I allure you, 
both for fafhion, and work-man-fhip, was mod percmptory-beautifull , 
ands;entlcman-likc' Yctheccondemn'd, and cryd it downc for the moft 
pyed and ridiculous that ever he faw. 

Bob. Squire Down-tucht ? the balfe-brother,Was't not ? 

Mat. 1 fir, hee. 

Bob. Hans him, rook , hee I why hee ba's no more judgement than a 
tnalt-horfe. By S. George, 1 wonder you'Id lofe a thought upon fuch 
an animal : the moft peremptoFy abfurd clowne of Ch:ftendome, this 
day, hce is hoklen . I proteft to yoUjas I am a gentleman a,nd a fouidfer, 
I nerechang'd words, with his like. By his difcourfe, hce fhou Id ear no- 
thing but h;?y. He was'borne for the manger, pannier, pr pick fiddle ' Hce 
has not fomuch as a good phrafe in his belly,'bur all old yron, and ruftie 
proverbs! a good commodity for fome Smith to make hoo-nayles of. 

Mat. I, and hec thinks to carry it away with his nwn-hoo.d ftill, where 

Incomes. He brags he will gi' vciet t\\a baft inadd^s ! l heare. . 
Bob. How !He-trKi^«^ J how-came he by that" word; rrow? 

Mat. Nay,indced,he faid cudgell rric- 1 tatiA it fp,fo; roy more grace, 
Bob. That miy bee : for I was lure it was none of his word. But, 
when ? when faid he fo? 





^ItMdkSI^r^ TI 'voung gallant," 

a friend ofrfcu: 

told mec fo. n j - t v rc my ca f c n0vv i fhould 

Bob. Bytbc *^«|$3&Li / A moft proper ,and fufficiene 
^totrf-rt«(p^^TOX Comcbirher. You (hall 

Sffi-JKS SSSg U you fhall kill him „itb, « plea- 
•lUS B^B^^ I* myftcric , I have 

hC Bo f Of whom ? of whom ha' you heard it, I befcech you ? 

Mat! Troth, I have heard it fpoken of divers, that you have very rare. 

ibr noblemen, and gentlemens ule, tnan mine owne urawux^ i auuc yuu. 
Hoftcife, accommodate us with another bed- ftaffe here, quickly : Lend 
us another bed-ftaffe. The woman does not underftand' the words of A8- 
o«. Lookc you, fir. Exalt not yourpoinr above this ftatc,at any hand, and 
let your poynard maintaine your defence, thus : (give irthe gentleman, 
and leave us) fo,fir. Come on : O, twine your body more about, that 
you may fall to a morefweer, comely, gentleman-like guard. So, indiffe- 
rent. Hollow your body more fir, thus. "Now, ftand faft o' your left leg, 
note your diftance, keep your due proportion of time*— -Ob, you dis- 
order your point, moft irregularly ! 
Mat . How is the bearing of it, now, fir ? 

Bob. O, out of mcafure ill ! A well experienced hand would pane upon 

Mat. How meane you, fir, pane upon mec ? 

Bob. Why, thus fir (make a thwft at mec) come in, upon the anfwer, 
control! yourpoinr, and make a full carreer, at the body. The beft-pra- 
tfifd gallants of the time , name it rbc yajj'ada: a moft defperatc thmft, 
bcleevc it J 

Mat. Well, come, fir. . • 

"Bob. "Why, you doc not manage your weapon with any facilirie, or 
grace to invite mce : 1 have no fpirit to play with you. Your dearth of 
judgement renders you tedious. 

Mat. But one venue, fir. 

Bob. VenuelYic. Moft grofle denomination, as ever I heard O the 
i?o^, while you live, fir. fiote that. Come, tit on you TSokcud 

or fo 80 2 C nH°lf 0mC ?? Vat t f^l** ^ are ^quainted^fo^ ScJ 
orfo—andhaveabit-Ile fend for one of thefc Fencers andheefrnM 

tf kThft "* ^2 5 >c nd > th *°> l vvil1 ^ach you yo r "rick You 

joajiour fZB^JSl!^ Whatmoneyha 

Bob ' If r' * ha ', not P^ a two M«gs, or fo. 

BoB.T, f omewhatwiUnheleaft:but,fome.Vwiin,ve ab uncb 


Every Man in his Humour. 


of radifh,and falr,totaftour wine; andapipc of 74^^o,toctofctheofiiic 
of the ftomack: and then wec'Il call upon young Wn lt.-brf. r>. Perhaps we 
fhall meet the CoRiDON,hisbrothcr,therc;and put him to the que ft ion. 

Adt 1 1. Scene 13 

Kitely, Cash, Down u-r i g h Ta 

THomas, Come hither. 
There lies a note, within upon my deske, 
Here, take my key .* It is no matter, neither. 
"Where is the Boy? Cas. Within, Sir, ith warc-houfc, 

Kit. Let him tell over, ftraight, that Spanifb gold, 
And weigh it, with the pccccs of eight. Doe you 
See the delivery of thole filvcr-ftuffes, 
To Mafter Lti c a r. Tell him, if bee will, 
Hee fhall ha' the grograns, at the rate I told him,- 
And I will meet him, on the Excbmge^ anon. 
Cash. Good, Sir. 

Kit. Doe you fee tliat fellow, brother Down f.-r I g h T *" 
Dow. I, what of him? 

Kit. He is a jevvcll, brother. 
I tookc him of a child, up, at my doore^ 
And cbriftned him,gave1iim mineonc name Thomas; 
Since bred h im at the Hofpitall - y where proving 
A toward impe, I call'd him home, and taught him 
So much, as 1 have made him my Cafhicr 
And giv'nhim, who had none, a furnamc,CAStt : 
And find him, in his place fo full of faith, 
Th^y I durft tnjft my life into his hands. 

Do w -So would not I in any baftards, brother, 
As, it is like, hee is : although I knew 
My fclfc his father. But you faidyo'had fomewhat 
To tell mee, gentle brother, what is't ? what is't?, 
• Ki t. Faith, I am very loath; to utter it. 
As fearing, it may hurt your patience : 
But that 1 know your judgement is of ftrengthj 
Aeainft the neemefle Of arfcftidn :*■■•. 

Dow. What need tn is circumftance ? pray you be d ireft; 

Kit. I will not fay, how much I doe afcribe 
Unto your friendfhip ; nor, in what regard 
I hold your love : but, let my paft behaviour, 
And ufage of your fifter, but confirme 
How well I'ave becne affected to your 

Do w . You arc too tedious,come to the matter, the matter. 

K : i t. Then (without further ceremonic) thus. 

My brother We l l-b r e d, Sir, (I know not how) 
Or are, is much decli'ndin What hee was, 
And greatly alter'd in his difpofition. 
When hee came firft to Jodge here in my houfe, 






Every Man in b is Humour. 

N 7^T^Tin^^; ~P«?ud of him : 

Mcc thought bcc bare himfclfc in fuch a fartuon, 

So full of man, and fweetnefle infa* carriage, 

Andfwhat was chicfc)it (hew'd nor borrowed in him, 

But all hec did, became him as his ownc, 

And fecmd as perfect, proper, and nofleft 

As breath, with life 5 or colour, with the bloud. 

But , now , his courfe it Co irregular, 

So loofe, affected, and cfepnv'd of grace, 

And hce himklfc withall fo farrc falne off 

From that kr ft place, as fcarce no note rcmaines, 

To tell mens judgements where hee lately ftood. 

Hce's growne a (hanger to all due refpeft, 

Forgetfullofhis friends, and not content 

To ftalc himfelfc in all focicties, 

Hec makes my houfc here common, as a Mdtt\ 

A Theater, a publick receptacle 

For giddie humour, and difeafed riot 5 

And here (as in a Taverne, or a Stewes) 

Hce, and his wild allbciates, fpend their houresj 

In repetition of lafcivious jefts, 

Sweare, leape,drinke, dance, and revell night by night 1 

Controll my fervants : and indeed what not > 

Dow. 'Sdeynes, I know not what I (hould fay to him, f the whole 
world ! He values me, at a crackt three.farthings, for ought I fee • It w II 
never out o; the flefh that) bred V the bone ! I rTave told him enough one 
would thmk,if that would ferve : But,eounfeII to hioys as goodas ffhouT 
der of mutton to a fickehorfe. Well 1 hee knowes what rnrr 

how hee difquiets your houfe ; 


v,? ! T 'i? J ther J V e divers reafons to difiwade htnA 
?tJ ,VVO uu y0Ur fcifc vouc ^afe to travell in it 

& \t^ Phine > and eafie ^«nce) 
It wourd^oth come much better to his fenfe 

And favour leflc of ftomack,orof paffion 

VV hercas if I fhould intimate fie \La 
*t would but adde contemnr \U u- \ 


And, in the mine, burie all our love. 
Nay, more than this, brother, if I (hould fpcake, 
Hce would bee readie from his heatc of humour, 
And over-flowing of the vapour, in him, 
To blow the cares of his familiars, 
With the ftlfc breath, of telling, what difcraccs," 
And low difparagcmcnts, I had putupon him. 
Whilft they, Sir, to relieve him, in the fable, 
Make their loofe comments, upon every word 
Cefturc,or Iookc, I ufej mock mec all over' 
From my flat cap, unto my fhining (hooes : 
And, out of their impetuous rioting phant'fics- 
Beget fomeflander, that fhall dwell with mcc'. 
And what would that becjthink you ? marry, this : 
They would give out (becaufe my wife is fairc, 
My felfe but lately married, and my fitter 
Here fojourning a Virgin in my houfe) 
That I were jealous ! nay, as fure as death, 
That they would fay. And how that I had quarrelfd 
My brother purpofely , thereby to finde 
An apt pretext, to banifli them my houfc 
Dow.Mafle, perhaps fo: They 're like enough to doe it, 
Ki T. Brother, they would, beleevc it : fo (hould I 
( Like one of thqfe penurious quack-falvers) 
But fct the bills up to mine owne difgrace, 
And trie experiments upon my felfe .- 
Lend fcorne and envie opportunitie, 
To flab my reputation , and good name 

43 i 1. Scene i 1. 


Ki t . Nay,good brother, let it not trouble you thus 

Do w . Sdcath he mads me, I could eat my very four l'crh.rc <X « I WiI1 f P cakc t0 him 

Bur whyare you fo tame, y^y^^y^^^^^^l l Bob. Speaktot 




Bob. Speak to him ? away, by the foot of Pa a r a o h, you fhall not, 
you (hall not doe him that grace. The time of day, to you. Gentleman 
o'the houfe. Is M r . Well-bred ftirring ? 

Do w . How then ? what (hould hce doc ? 

Bob. Gentleman of the houfe, it is to you : is hee within, Sir ? 

Kit. Hce came not to his lodging to night, Sir,I afliire you. 

Dow. Why, doc you heare ? you . 

Bo b . The gentleman-Citizen hathfatisficd me,He talk to no fcavengc 

Do w . How, fcavenscr ? fkv Sir, fta v. 





Dow. How, fcavengcr ? flay Sir,- flay. 

Kit. Nay, brother Downe^rightj 

Do w . 'Heart ! (land you away, and you love mce. 

*~ K i T r'> 7 OU ^ a11 not Mow him now, I pray you, brother, ^ 

Good faith you fhall not : I will over-rule you . 

/ - D J f w ' Ha ? feavenger ? vvellgoeto,I fay little .-bur, by tn is g©od day, 
(Godlorgive mcc I (hould fweare) if I put it up fo, fay, I am the ranked 



-&^~Mmh bis. 'ffumomr. 

I f rt >w this, 1'Ic ne're draw my Hvbrd 

i(2 wi£. 

T« tbim, 

Httpaflii by 
iriib bit ion. 

SSr ffiSS^SS conforcsAhofc- ! thefe are his W* 
«,• ~iiin«Tmir«» face's a gallant, a Cwaltero too, right hang-man cut- 
Letn cnoVl an Icoufd not find in my heart to fvvinge the whole 

ftould be faid he is my brotber,and take thefe courfes. Well,as hee brews, 
fo mall hedrink,for Geo rge, againc. Yet, hee mall hcarc on't,and that 
tightly too, and I live, ifaith. • 

Kit. But,brothcr,let your rcprchenfion (then) 
Runne in an cafte current, not ore-high 
Carried with rafhneffc, or devouring cholIcr 5 
But rather ufc the foft perfwading way, 
Whofe powers will work more gently,and compofe 
Th 'imperfect thoughts you labour to reclaime : 
More winning, than enforcing the confent. 

Dow. 1,1, let me alone for that,l warrant you. 

Kit. How now ? oh, the bell rings to breakfaft. 
Brother, I pray you goe in, and bcarc my wife 
Companie , till I come ; Tie but give order 

For fome difpatch of bufineucjto my fervants" 

A3 1 1. Scene 1 1 1. 



Kit ely, Cob, Dame Kit Ely. 

\JW Hat, Co b ? our maids will have you by the back (ifaith) 
For comming fo late this morning. 
Cob. Perhaps fo,S ir ,takc heed forae body have not th cm 
by the belly, for walking fo late in the evening 

Kit. Well, yet my troubled fpirit s fomewhat caW 
Though not repof d in that fecuritie, ' 

As I could with ■ But I muft bee content. 
How er'c I fee a face on't to the world 
Would I had loft this finger, at a venter, 
So Well-bred had ne're lodg'd within my houfc. 
Why t cannot bee where there is fuch reforc 
Ot wanton Gallants, and young Revellers 
That any woman mould bee hbneft loni 

Is t like that famous beautie vvill prefen-c 
The pubheke weale of chaftitie, un-fhaken, 

Ap^/fc r° » g m0tiveg «»> A»,and make head 
Agamft her (ingle peace ? No, no. Beware, 
VVhcn „ doth e 

Co J^" ° f ° ne , kinde > and *■«*£ 
Come once to parice, in the pride ofbloud; 



< : 

bvery Man in bu Humour. 


It is no flow confpiracic that followcs. 

Well C to bee plainc) if 1 but thought, the time 

Had anfwer'd their affe&ions : all the world 

Should not perfwadc mec, but 1 were a Cuckold. 

Miry, I hope, they ha" not got that ftart : 

For opj>ortunitie hath baulkt 'hem yet , 

And (hall doe (till, while I have eyes, and cares 

To attend the impofitions of my heart. 

My prefence I bee as an yron barre, 

'Twixt the confpiring motions of defirc : 

Yea, every looke, or glance mine eye ejects, 

Shall check occafion, as one doth his (lave, 
When hee forgets the limits of prefcription. 

Dames Sifter Bridget, pray you fetch downe the rofe'-water above 
in the clofct. Sweet-heart, will you come in, to break-faft. 
Kit. An (hee have over-heard mce now ? 
D a m e . I pray thee (good Mu s s e ) wee ftay for you. 
Kit. By heaven 1 would not for a thoufand angels. 
Dame. What ailc you Swcct-heart? are you not well? fpeakegdod" 


Kit. Troth my head akes extremely, oh a fudden. 

Da m e . Oh, the Lord ! 

K i t. How now ? what ? 

Da m e . Alas, how it burncs ? M u s s e, keepe you warme, good truth 
it is this new difeafe j! there's a number are troubled withall! for loves 
fake, fwcet-h cart, come in, out of the ayre. 

Kit. How fimplc, and how fubtill are her anfwers ? 
A new difeafe, and many troubled with it I 
Why, true : (hee heard mce all the world to nothing: 

Dame. I pray thee, good fwcet-hearr, come in 3 the a 
harme,in troth. 

Kit. The ayre ! (hee has mee i* the wind ! fweet-heart I 
lie come to you prefently •• 'twill away, I hope. 

Dame. Pray heaven it doe. 

Kit. A new difeafe ? I know not, new, or old,'. 
But it may well bee call'd pooremof tails plague: 
Tor, like a peftilence, it doth infecV 
The houfes of the braine. Firft, it begins 
Solely to workc upon the phantafic* 
Filling her feat with fuch peftiferous ayre, 
As foon corrupts the judgement; and from rhcncc ? 
Sends like contagion to the memofie : 
Srill each to other giving the infection. 
Which as a fubtle vapour,- fpreads it felfe,- 
Confufedly, through ..every fenfive parr, 

Till not a thought, or motion, in the mind,' 

Bee free from the black poyfon of fufpevt. 

Ah, but what mifrie is it, to know this? 

Or, knowing it, to want the minds cre&ion, 

In fuch extremes ? Well, I will once more ftrivc, 


ayre will doe you 



Jfc^Manin b is Humour. 

7gB£t~c£ this blackd^)^fe to bee, 

Hi&c the fcavcr off, that thus (hakes mce. 

B R A 

y N E-W R M E, Ed.Kno' V,' I". L I , 


C'Lid I cannot choofc but laugh, to fee my fclfe tranflatcd thus, from, 
^ 3 — r or now muft I create an intolerable fort 

poorc creature to a creator ; tor now i 
lies 'or my prcfcntl profemon loles the 

of lies ormyprelent! proiemon ipics me grace : and yet the He to a mar* 
ofmy coar, isas ominous a fruir,as the Fico, O Sir, it holds for good poli- 
tic ever, to have that outwardly invileft cftimation, that inwardly ismoft 
iare to us. So much,for my borrowed fhapc. Well,the troth is, my old 
Mafter intends to follow my y oung,dry foot, over Moore fields, to L ondott y 
this morning:now I,knowingofthis hunting- match ; or rather confpiracie, 
and to infinuate with my young Mafter (for fo mull wee that are blew-wai- 
ters,and men of hope and fervice doc, or perhaps wee may weare motley at 
the ycaresend,and who wears motley, you know)havc got me afore,in this 
difeuifc, determining hereto lie in ambufcado, and intercept him, in the 
mid-way; If 1 can but get his clokc,his purfe,his hat,nay,any tiring, to cut 
himorf,thatis,toftayhisjourney,^/,^/y/\w/.Imjy fay with Captaine 
C je s a r, I am made for ever,ifaith . Well,now muft I practife to get the 
true garb of one of thefe Lane e-K nights, my arme here, and my-yountr Ma- 
tter ! and his coufin, M c . S T • E p h e N,as I am true counterfeit nun of 
tvarre, and no fouldier ! 

E.Kn. Sofir,andhowthcn,couz? 

Step. 'Sfoor,Ihaveloft my purfc, I think. 

E.Kn. How .? loft your purfe ? where ? when had you it ? 

Step, I cannot tell, (lay. 

K„^k AV ' '^ Iamaf " card > they will know mcc, would I could oet 

E.Kn. Wh*t ? ha' you it I 

Step. No, I thinkcl wasbewirchtj- rr 

Mir. Nay,doehOtwcepc the Idrer, hang ir, j ct irg0c . 

* SSl Sk? S ^ ere : S°> and ,c had bcc » M> I had not c 


a jet ring Miftris Mary fent mec. 

cj r'd, but for 


* . A jet ring ? oh, the Me, the poefie i 

Si ttfej SSsr hCT ' and my $ 

Meaning, that 

ratter, lie beejujg'dby ftpSJ"^ * m ^ W "»s : Tbi deeper the 

E.Kn. Well, there the §aint 
?our need * 


Gentlcmcn,pleafe you cha'ngeTtiw aliT " tent "^coinc what will. 


rf« thank KS y^» at 
iiSSS*? ° n «~> fo : I will temuro ^ I «L 


ftatc ofmy fortunes) fcorn'd fo mearic a refuge,but now it is the hiimoUr 
of ncccflitie, to have it fo< You feemc to be gentlemen, well affc&cd to 
Martiall men, elfe (hould I rather die with filencc,than live with flume: 
how ever, vouchfafe to remember, it is my svant fpcakes,not my fclfc. This 
condition agrees not with my-fpirit ■■ 

E.Kn. Where haft thou ferv'd? 

Bray. May it pleafc you, fir,- in ail the late warres of Bohemia, H anga- 
ria , Valmaua, Poland, where nor, fir ? I have beenc a poorc fervitor , byVct 
and land, any time this fourtecne yceres, and follow'd the fortunes of the 
beft Commanders in Chrifiendtme. I was twice fhot at the taking oiAlevo, 
once at the rcliefc of Vienna-, 1 have becne at Marseilles, Naples > and the 
Adrhtiquc gulfc,a gentleman-flavc in the galleys,thr ice, where I was moft 
dangeroufly fliot in the head, through both the thighs, and yet, being thus 
maym'd, 1 am voyd of maintenance , nothing left me but my fcarres, the 
noted markes ofmy rcfolution. 

Step. How willyou fell this rapier, friend? 

Bray. Generous fir, I referre k to your owne judgement ; you are i 
gentleman, give me what you plcafe. 

Ste p. True, I am a gentleman , I know thatj friend: but what though ? 
I pray you (ay , what would you as kc ? 

Bray. I allure you, the blade may become the fide, or thigh of the 
beft prince, in Europe. 

E. Kn. I, with a velvet fcabberd, I thinker 

Step. Nay, an't be mine, it (hall have a velvet fcabberd, ComT, 
that s flat : I'de not weare it as 'tis, and you would give mc an angelL 

Bray. Atyourworlhips pleafure,fu*; nay, tisamoft pure Toledo. 

Step. 1 hadrathcr it were a Spaniard \ but tell me, what (hall I give" 
you for it ? An it had a.filver hilt-* r 

£. Kn. Come, come, you (hall not buy it 5 hold, there's a flailing fcl-' 
low, take thy rapier. 

Step. Why,but I will buy it now,bccaufe you fay fo,and there's an? 
other (lulling, fellow, I (come to be out-bidden. Whar, (hall I walk* 
with a cudgel), like Higgin-Bottom ? and may have a rapier, for money * 

E. Kn. You may buy one in the city. 

Step, tut, He buy this i'the field, fo I will , I have amtnd to't a, be» 
caufe 'tis a field rapier. Tell mc your lowcft price* 

E.Kn. You (hall not buy it, I fay. 

Step. By this money, but 1 will, though I give more then 'US' worth* 

E.Kn. Come away, you are a foole. 

St e p . Friend, I am a foole, that's granted : but He have k, for that 
words fake . Follow me, for your money* 

Bray. At your fervice , fir. 

AB i U Scene v. 


J Cannot loofc the thought, yet, of this letter, 

Sent to my fbnne : nor leave fadmirc the change 
Of manners j and the breeding of our youth, 






E^M^Jn b " Humour 

rdomc, fincc my ftlfc ^s one. 
» uZ xuMnnt intheftcwes, 


N Virhinihc Kiogdomc, imcc my ^ 

Durll have concav d a fcorne, «g£f* 
On i crey bead 5 age was author tie 
■ XriJfa Uon, and*a man had, then, 
Attune reverence payd unto his ycarcs 
Thar had none due unto his lite. So much 
The fanairie of fome prevail* , for others. 
Bur, now,wec all are fall'n - t youth,from their fcarc : 
And a^, from that, which bred it, good example. 
Nay, would our felves were not the firft,evcn parents, 
That did deftroy the hopes, in our ownc children : 
Orthcynot lcarn'd our vices, in their cradles, 
And fuck'd in our ill cuftomes, with their milkc. 
Ere all their teeth bee borne, or they can fpeake, 
Wee make their palats cunning ! The fir ft words, 
Wee forme their tongues with are licencious jefts ! 
Can it call, whore ? cry , baftard ? 6, then kiflc it; 
A witty child ! Can't fweare ? The fathers darling! 
Give ic two plums. Nay,rather then't fhall learne 
No bawdic fbng, the mother' her felfe will teach it ! 
Bur, this is in the infencie ; the dayes 
Of the long coate : when it puts on the breeches, 
It will put off all this. I, it is like : 
When ic is gone into the bone already. 
No, no : This die goes deeper than the coate, 
Orfhirr, or skin, ltftaines, unto the liver, 
And heart, in fome. And, rather, than ic fhould nor, 
Note, what wee fathers doc ' Looke, how wee live! 
What miitrcffes wee kcepe ! at what expence, 
In our fonncs eyes ! where they may handle our gifts, 
Hcare our lafcivious courtfliips, fee our dalliance, 
Tafte of the fame provoking meates , with us, 
To mine of our Mate ! Nay, when our owne 
Poition is fled, to prey on their remainder, 
Wee call them into feilowmip of vice ! 
Baite 'hem with the young chamber-maid, to feale ! 
And teach "hem all bad wayes, to buy affection I 
1 his is one path ! but there are millions more 
In which weefpoyle our ownc, with leading them. 
Well, I thank Heaven , I never yet was hee, 
That tuvail'd with my fonne, before fixteene 

To (hew bim, the Venetian Courtezans . ' 

Nor read the grammar of ; elating, fhadmade 
To my fharpcDoy, at twelve rcpea in* ftill 
The ru e, Get money • ^ Cet J | UU 

fe2fc ' ^^ W - *»* have I 
UTiumdmy (auce, and taught him to' makeW 



Preceding ftill, wich my grey gluttonic, 

Ac all the Ordinaries : and onbly fear'd 

His palate fliould degenerate, not his uiihncrs.. . 

Thefc are the trade of fathers, now! 'however 

My fonnc,l hope, hath met within my thrcfhold, 

None of chefe houfhold precedents \ which are ftronrrj 

And f.vifr, to rape youth, to their precipice. 

Bur, Ictthchoufcat hcHncbec nerefa deanc- 

SwcptjOr kept fwcet-ffom filch ; nay,duft 5 and cob- webs \ I 

If hee will live, abroad, with his companions," 

In dung and leyftalls ; ic is worth a feare. 

Nor is the danger of convcrfins leffe , 

Than all that I have mentioned of example. 


trcmity provokes me to 'r, what remedic ? 

Kno . I have not for you, now. 

Bray. By the faith I beare unto truth, Gentleman, it is no ordinario 
cuftomein mec,but6riely to prcferve manhood. I pr6teftcbyou,aman 

I have been, a man I may bee, by your fweet bountie. 
Kno. 'Pray thee, good fnend,bee Satisfied. . 

Bray. Good Sir, by that hand,y0u may doe the part ofa kind gentle-" 
man, in lending a poore fouldier the pice of two cannsof beere (a mat- 
ter of (mall value) the King of heaven fhall pay. you, and I (hall reft thank- 

4 * 

full i fweet worm in 
y Kno . Nay, and you bee Co impbrtunate - 


Bray. Oh, tender Sir, need will have his co ur fe : I was not made to 
this vile ufe ! well, the edge of the enemy could not have abated mcc Co „ t . _,„ f 
much : It's hard, when a man hath fen 'd in his Princes caufe,and be thus- 
Honourable Worfhip,lcc me derive a fmall pcece of filver from you, k mail 
not bee given in the courfe of time $ by this good ground, I was faine to 
pawnc my r.i pier laft night for a poore fupper, I had fuck'd the hilts long 
before, I am a Pagan elfe : fweet Honour. 

Kno. Bclecve mce, I am taken with fome wonder, 
To thinke,a fellow of thy outward prefence. 
Should (in the frame, and fafhion of his mind ) 
Be fo degenerate , and fordid-bafc! 
Art thou a man ? and ftiam'ft thou not to beg ? 
To pracrifc fuch a fervile kinde of life ?, 
Why, were thy education ne're C6 mcane, 
Having thy limbs, a thoufand fairer courfes 
Offer thcmfclves, to thy election. 
Either the wanes might (till fupply thy wants 
Or fervicc of fome vertuous gentleman , 
Or lioncft labour : nay, what can 1 name , 
-But would become thee better than to beg ? 
But men of thy condition feed on (loth , 
As doth the beetle, on the dung lljcc breeds m 
Not caring how the mcttall of your minds 








Is CJf cn with the ruft <>m^ £ fli0uia 

No, v, afore mc, what 

Relieve . P"?"^ *SSJ2 defperatc courfc 
VK»!f.*S2£? £ K *£, but his. . 

______ . s no 

r DK '! Y ' CSrt^thfife-cbycs s but— and for fcrvicc, would it were as 

fc^, «K &<*■ ^ m y comfort) ! knoWj vvhat « 

would fay-- 7* 
Kno. Whats thy name? 
Bray, Pleafe vou,Eitz-S\vord, fir. 


Say, that a man (hould cntertaync thee now, 
Would" ft thou be honeft, humble, juft, and true ? 
' Bray. Sir, by the place, and honour o fa fouldier 

Kno. Nay, nay, I like not thofe affe&cd oathes ; 
Spcake plainely man : what think' ft thou of my words? 

B ray. Nothing, fir, but with my fortunes were as nappy, as my fcr- 
vicc (hould be honelr. 

Kno. Well, follow me, He prove thee, if thy deeds 
"Will carry a proportion to thy words. 

Bray. Yes fvr,ftraight, lie but garter ray hofe. Oh that my belly were 
hoopt now, for I am ready toburft with laughing! never was bottle, or 
bag-pipe fuller. S'lid , was there ever feenc a fox in yeeres to betray him- 
leltc thus ? now (hall I be pofleft of all his counfells : and, by that conduitj 
my yong mafter. Well, he is refolvd to prove my honcfty ; faith, and I 
am refolv'd to prove his patience: oh I (haliabufe him intollerably. This 
fmall piece of idrvice, will bring him clcanc out of love with the fouldier, 
for ever. He will never come within the figne of it, the fight of a caffock, 
or a musket-reft againc. He will hate the muftcrs at Mile-end for ir, to 
his dying day. It's no matter, let the world think me a bad counterfeit, if I 
cannot give him the (Up , at an inftant: why, this is better than to have 
ftaid his journey '■ well, lie follow him: oh , how I long to be imploycd! 


43 in. Scene h 


Matthew, Well-bred, Bobadill, 
Ed. Kno'weli, Stephen, 

YEs faith, fir^we were at your lodging to feck you, too. ' 
Wei.. Oli, 1 came not there to night. 
Your brother delivered us as much. 
\\el. Who? mybrorherDowNE-RiGHT > 

bufw ] tr Mf * Y E l L " B r RBD ' \ know noc in wh " kind you hold mi 
*m^£22& : 3 ! fur ^ aS h °. no ^ l ? ftcc ™ " fo much out of the 


Every Man in bis Humour. 



We l . Sir , I muft hcarc no ill words of my brothe r. 

Bob; I prof eft to you, as I have a thing to be fav'd about mc j \ never 
faw any gentleman- like part » 

Wei.. Good Captaync,/if« about,-tofomc other difcourfe. 

Bob. With your leave; fir, and there were no rriOrc men living upon 
the faceof the earth, I fhpuld not fancie him, by S. Geor.ce. 

Mat. Troth, nor I, he is of a rufticall cut, I know not how: he doth 
not carry himfclfe like a .gentleman "of fafhion- - 

Wel. Oh, M r . MATTHEv/,-thaj?S a grace peculiar but tOafewj quos 
aguus amavitlupiTTLR. 

Mat. I underftand you fir. ' 

Wel. N'oqueltionj-youdoc,oryoudocndt,ur. NedKnowell! nvttriidr 
by my foulc welcome-, how doc ft thOu fwect fpirit, my Ge»h«?Siid I 


why doe ft thou not fpeakc?) , 

E.Kn. Oh, you arc a fine gallant, you fent me a rare letter ! 

We l . Why, was't not rare ? 

E. Kn. Yes, He be fworne, I was ne're guilty of reading the like; 
match it in all Pli niej or Symki achus cpiftlcs, : and He have my judge- 
ment burn d in the care tor a rogue ? make much of thy veine , for it is "in- 
imitable. But I marie what carhelf it was , that had the carriage of it ? for 
doubtlclle, he was no ordinary bcaft , that brought it .' 

Wel. Why? fi 

E.Kn. Whyi fayed thou? vVhydbeft: thou think that any rcafonabJe 
creature, clpecially in the morning (the fobcr time of the day too) could 
have mif-tancmv father forme? » ; 

m y 

Wel. S'lid, you jeft, I hope ? 


* E. Kn. Indeed, the beftufe wc can tUrne it too,' is to make a jctt on't, 
now: but He allure you, my father had the full -view o' your rlourifliing 
ftile, fome hour before I few it. 

Wel. What a dull (lave was this ? But, firrah, what faidhe to it, 
ifaith ? 

E. Kn. Nay, t know not what he faid •• but I hate a fhrcwd geifc what 
hec thought. 

Wel. What? what? 

E.Kn* Mary, that thoU art forte Grange diflblute yong fellow, and I 
a grainc or two better, for keeping thee company. 

Wel. Tut, that thought is like the moone in her laft quarter, 'twill 
change (hortly : but, firrah, I pray rhec' be acquainted with my two hang- 
by's* here* thou wilt rake- exceeding plcafurc in 'hem if thou hear'fr 

'hem once goe: my wind-inftruments. He wind 'hem up but what 

Grange piece of filence is this ? the fignc of the durabe man 2 

£. Kn. Oh, fir,a kinfmanof mine, one that maymake your jnufique 
the fuller, and he pleafe, he has his humour, fir. 

Wel. Oh , what ift? what ift ? 

E. Kn. Nay, He neither doc your judgement, nOrhis folly that wrong, 
as to prepare your apprchenfion: He leave him to the mercy o' your 
fearch, if you can take him, forf 

Da Wi 




Sttf «. 


r# KJnpV 


Sit;' <*. 



Every Man in bis Humour^ 

_ -r-^ — 1 -^w^ADirirM t .M.iVTTinvW, "pray you know 

Wel. Well, Cap*£ ^ 

fM^n^J^^ «*, but I fell be glad of any occafion, 
Jo'cndcrmcmorcftm^ re .you.. fi ,£^ ntl?mins 0Wne 

Step. Mv name is M^tef^ > t >_ r u^r^U^UAU cl 

coufin, dr, his father is 
V ou mall command 
' Bon. Sir, I muft 

f£^3SSSSSB^ ^conceive you,co bee a gcntlcmanc* 


' Mat' Oh, it's your onely fine humour, fir your true me 

E. Kn. 'Twas pitic, you had not ten ; a ca{s, and your ownc,i faith 
Bur, was it pofliblc ? 

(Mat. Pray you, markc this difcourfe, fir. 
Step. So* I doc.) 

Bob. 1 aflure you (upon my reputation ) 'tis true , and your fdfc 
fhall confefic. 

E. Kn. You muft bring mcc to the rack, fitft. 

Bob. Obfcrvc mcc judicially, facet fir, they had planted race three 
dcmi-culverings, juftin the mouth Of the breach 5 now, fir (as wee wcrcro 
give on) their mafter-gunner, (a man of no mcane skill and marke, you 
muft think) confronts mcc with his linftock, ready to give fire ; I fpyincr 
his intendment, difcharg'd my pctrioncl in his bofomc, and with thefe 
finglc armes, my poore rapier, rannc violently,upon the Moores that guar- 
ded the ordnance, and pur 'hem pell-mell to the fword. ' ' 

Wel. To the fivord ? to the rapier, Capraine? 

' Mat. Oh, it's your onely nnc numour, ^dV" 'W-^i Wel. Tothelword? to the rapier, Captaine? 

breeds yout pcrfca fine wit, fir: I am melancholy my felfe, divers times, e . Kn . Ob, it was a good- figure obferv'd, fir! but did you all this, 

fir and then doe I no more but take pen, and paper prefently, and overflow Captaine, without hurting yourT>ladc? • 

you halfc a fcore, or a^dozen p f fonpets at a fitting... > 

(E.Kn. Sure, hec utters them then , by tbe-groUe.) 
Step. Truely fir, and I love fucrv.triings 5 out. of meafure. . 

Mat. Why, I pray you,fir, make ufe of my ftudie, it s at your lcrvice. 

Step. I thank you fir,I ftiali bee bold,.} warrant you ; have you a ftooL 
there, to bee melancholy upon? 

Mat. That I have, fir, and fomc papers there of mine owne doing, 
at idle houres, that you'll &y tbcre'sfbrne fparks of wit in 'hem, when 

you fee them. .:..'.' 

Wel. Would the fparks would kindle once, and become a fire a- 
rnongft 'hem, I migh fee felfe-love burnt for hcr ( herefic. . 

Step. Coufin,is ir well ? am I melancholy enough ? 

E.Kn, Oh ^excellent. 1 

We i . Captain Bo badill: why mule. you Jo? ? 

E.Kn. Hec is melancholy, too* _ 

Bob. Faith, fir, I was thinking of a moft honourable pcece of femce* 

was performed to morrow, being S c . Marks day, fhall bee foraeten 
yeares, now. 

• Kno. In what place, Captaine? c, . 

I Bob. WJay, attbc bcleag, where, in Ieile than two 
houres, feven hundred refolute gentlemen, as any, were in Europe, loft their ' 
Uves upon the breach. He tell you, gentlemen, it was the fir ft, but the beft 
Icagurc, thatever I beheld, with thefe eycs,excepc the taking in of— what, 
doyou caUit.laft ycar,by the Genovaytfjmt that(of all otbc?) was the moft 

£?r '^^^ fince I firft bore arms 

oetorc the face of the enemy, as I am a gentleman, and fouldicr. 

gentleman ! ^ ' " 3 ° *&*> l COuld fvVear ^weUasrbat 

j£d^S«? a — 5 at both k fccmes ' at st/lg ™ m ' 


^^Sr^j^i ^jQEoiQ^ I was the firft man, that entredrhc. 
hada muhononivT *^ kCoM & ! ^ecnflainif l bad 



Bob. Without any impeach, o' the earth : you fhall perceive fir. It is 
the moft fortunate weapon that ever rid on poore gehtlemans thigh • fhall 
I tell you, fir ? youtalke oUforglay^Excali^DmndnM^OTh} tut, I 
lend no credit to that is fabled of 'hem, 1 know the vertue of mine ovvhe. 
and therefore I dare , the boldlyer,. maintaine it. 

Step. I mar 'le whether ir bee a Toledo, or no i 

Bob. A moft perfect Toledo, I affure you, fir. 
.Step. 1 have a countryman of his, here. 

Mat. Pray you, let 's fee, fir : yes faith,it is ! 

Bob. This a Toledo? pjffi, . I 

Step. Why doc you pifri, Captaine ? 

Bob. A Fleming, by heaven . He buy them for a guilder , apiece, an* I 
would have a thoufand of them. 

E. Kn. How fay you, coufin ? I told you thus much ? 
Wel. Where bought you ir,Mafter Stephen ? 

Step. Of a fcurvic rogue fouldier (a hundredoflicc goc with him) 
hce (wore it was a Toledo. 

Bob. A poore provant rapier, no better^ 

M at. M;ifle,I think it bc,indecd! now I look on J t, better. 

E.Kn. Nay, the longer you look on r, the worfc. Put it up, put it up. ' 

Step. Well, I will put it up s but by ( I ha' forgot the Cap? 

tains oath, 1 thought to ha' fworne by ir) an' ere I meet him 

Wei.. O, iris pa ft help now, fir, you muft have patience. 

.. Step. Horfon cunny-catching raskall ! I could cat the Very hilts 
for anger! .' 

E.Kn. A figncofgood digeftionj you have an oftrich-ftOmack,coufin- 
Step. A ftomack ? would 1 had.'him here, yo'tl fhould fee , an' I bad 


W el* It's better as 'tis : come, gentlemen, fhall wee age ?• 

I t 

* ' 



. - / 





Man in bis Humour 

Jtn. Scene 11. 





ffi 'oil gods lid, by your leave, doe youknowmee fir > 
. I fir tUvv you, by fight. 




S?e p.' You Jfoid mc a' rapicr,did you not i 
Bray. Yes, mary, did I, fir. 
Step. You faid, it was a Toledo, ha ? 
Bray. True, I did fo. 

Step. But, it is none . 

Bray. No fir, I confefie it, it is none. 

Step. Doe you confefle it ? gentlemen, bearcwitnefle,hee has confeft 

ir. By gods will,an'you had not confeft it—— 
E.Kn. Oh coufin, forbeare, forbearc. 
Step. Nay, I have done, coufin. 
Wel. Why, you have done l>ke a gentleman, hee has confeft it, what 

would you more ? 

Ste p. Yet, by his leave,be is a raskall, under his favour, do you fee ? 

E. Kn. I, by his leave, hee is, and under favour : a pretty piece of civi- 
litie! Sirra, how doeft thou like him? 

Wel. Oh, ifs a moft pretious fool, make much on him : I can com- 
pare him to nothing more happily, than a drumme - } for every one Wj 
play upon him. 

E.Kn. No, no, a childs vvh i file were farrc the fitter. 

Bray. Sir, (hall I increat a word with you ? 

E. Kn. With mee,fir ? you have not another Toledo to fell, ha' you ? 

Bray. You arc conceited, fir j your name is Matter Kno'we.ll, 
as I take it ? 

E.Kn. You are i' the right •, you meane not to proceed in the catc- 
chifme, doe you ? 

Bray. No fir, 1 am none of that coat. 

E.Kn. Of as bare a coat, though ; well, fry fir. 

Bray. Faith fir, lam but fervanttothedrumcxtraordinaric, ariJin- 
dced (rhis fmokte vamifh being walht off, and three or fourc tutchesr« * 
mov'd) I appearcyour wormips inrevcrfion, after the deccafe of your 
good father, Brayn-worme. 

E. Kn Br ayn-worme! S'light, what breath of a conjurer, hath 
blownc thee hither in this fliape ? 

i ^he ^eath o* your letter, fir, this niorning; thefame thatbletf 
you to the Wind-mill, and your father after you. 
E.Kn. My father? 3 

Bray. Nay, never ftart,'t is true, hee has follow'd you over the fields, 
by the foot, as you would doe a hare f the fnow. 

is coi N ; Sirra V W E L r " B K E D > What M vvcc *<*> firta ? my father 
is come over, after mee. " 


Wel. Thy father ? where is hee ? 

Br ay . At Juftice Cli-ments houfc,in Colemsn-Qxctt, where bee 
bur ftayes my rcturne ; and then — - — - 

Wel. Who's this? Brayn-worme ? 

Bray. The fame, fir. 

We l. Why how,in die name of wir, com'ft thou tranfmutcd, thus ? 

Bray. Faith, a device, a device: nay,tbrthe loveof reafon, gentlemen, 
and a\oyding the dangcr,lland not here ; withdtaw,and He tell you all. 

Wel. B ut, art thou fure, hee will flay thyreturne ? 

Bray. Doc I live, fir ? what a qucftion is that > 

Wel. Wec'll prorogue his expe&itionthen, a little : Bray: 
\voRM£,thou (halt goe with us. Come on, gentlemen; nay, I pray thee ; 
fweetNKD, droop not ; 'heart, an' our wits bee fo wretchedly dull, rbat 
one old plodding braine can out-ftrip us all, would we were eene prcfr,to 
make Porters of 5 and ferve out the remnant of our dayes, in Tbames-^rtct ? 
or a t Citjlome-houic key, in a civ ill warre } againft the car-men. . 

Bray. Amen, Amen, Amen, fay 1. 





Kitely, Cash: 

m - | c 

• i 

\A7 Hat fayes hee Thomas? Did you fpeak with him ? 
* C a s . He will expe«5t you, fir, within, this halfe houre 

Kit. Has hee the money ready, can you tell ? R 
Cas. Yes, fir, the money was brought in,laft night* 
KIt. O, that's well : fetch mee my cloke, myck&e. 
Stay, let mee fee, an houre, to goe and come; i 
I, that will bee the leaft : and then 'twill bee 
An houre, before I candifparch with him; , . 
Or very ncere : well, JL will /ay two houres. 1 • 
Two houres ? ha ? rhings, never dreamt of ye c, 
May bee contriv'd, I, and effected 1 too, 
In two houres ab fence : well, I will not goe. 
Two houres ; no, fleering opportunitie, 
I will not give your fubtilty that fcopc. 
Who will not judge him worthy to beerob'd, , 
That fets his doores wide open to a thiefe, 
And flicwes the fellon where his trtafure lies i 
Againe, what earthy fpirit but will attempt 
To tafte the fmit of beauties golden tree, 
When leaden fleep fealcs up the Dragons eyes ?, 
I will not goe. Bufinefle, goe by , for once. 
No, beautie, no ; you are of too good caracl, 
To bee left fo, without a guard, or open ! 
Your luftre too '11 inflame, at any diftaUce, 
Draw courtfhip to you, as a Jet doth, ftraws, . 
Put motion in a ftone, ftrike fire from yce, 
Nay, make a Porter leap you with his burden 1 

You muft be then kept up,clofe,and well watch'd, 






J^nfidnini fH™"!'- 

Is a moft nuinc attractive v p 

Within die Citic, never «R * fate { «• .. 

Wear rhWW ak^ 8 ' ?.tf£ ^ r hornCSakc * 

Nor will I 'coc I am Tefolv d T , j 
Ca?ryinn,/cloke again. Yct,ftay. Yet,doc too. 

I will deferre going, on all occaiions. 
Cas. S^SnarS your Scrivener^ill be there wkIi tlV bonds. 

K i t. That's true i fool on mee | I had clean forgot p 
Imuft epe. What's a clock ? Cash. Mxcbtog*<ime> to. 
Kit. 'Heathen will Wel-bred prefently bee here, too, 
With one or other of his loofe contorts. 
I am a knave, if I know what to fay , 
What courfe to take,or which way torefolve. 
My brain me thinks is like an hour-glaiTc, 
Wherein , my Paginations mnne, like fands, 
Filling up time j but then are turn d,and turn d : 
So that 1 know not what to (lay .upon, 
And lefle, to put in ad. It (hall bee fo. 
Nay, I dare build upon his fecrccie, 
Hee knows not to deceive me.' Thomas ? Cash. Sir* 

K 1 t. Yet now I have bethought me, too, 1 will not* 
Thomas, is Cob within ? ! Cash. I think hec bee, fir. 

Kit. But hee'Jl prate too, there's no fpeech of him. 
No, there were no mano' the earth to Thomas, 
If I durft truft him ; there is all the doubt. 
Bur, mould hec have a chink in him, I were gone, 
Loft i' my tame for ever j talke for th' Exchange* 
The manner hee hath flood with, till this prefent, 
Doth promifc no fuch change ! what mould I fear then' ? 

Well, come what will, lie tempt -my fortune, once. 
Thoma s— you may deceive mcc^ but, I hope— — - 

Your love, to mee, is .more— C as. Sir, if a f crv ants 
Dutie, with faith, may bee call'd love, you are j : 

More than in hope , you are poffelTd of it. 

wS^i Ith ? nk y ou » hea /S Iy,THOMA$ ' Gi'mcyourhand; 
With all my hearr, good Thomas. I have Thomas 

A ecret to impart, unto you- bur, 

When once you have it, Imuft feale your lips up • 
(So far I tdl you, Thomas.) Cas. Sir, for that _- 

\VK IT, , N M/ >learme5 ? UL Think > Ieft ^e you, Thomas " 
^hen,Iwi!Iletyouin,thus,tomyprivat/. 5 

Th!n X ? > . fitS nCarer » t0 m Y CrCft > 

Thanthou m Vare f, Thomas. If thou mouldft 

Every Man in bis Humour. 


€ \ 



i • 



Rcveale it, but-r— Cass. How? I revcalc it? Kit. Nay, 
1 doc not think thou vvould'ft j but if thou fhould'ft j 
'Twcrc a great weaknefie. C as h i. A great trcchcrie. 
Give it no other name. Kit . Tbou wilt, not do't, then ? 

Cash. Sir, if I doc, mankind difclaimc; me, ever. 

Kit* He will not fwcar,helra'sfome refervation. 
Some conceald nurpoie, and clofe meaning , fure : 
Elie (being urg'd fo much) how mould he choofe, 
But lend an oath to all this protestation ? 
H'is no prccifion, that I amcercainc of. : 
Nor rigid Romjn"cath&likc- Hec'll play, 
At Fajles, and TickxlacJc.jl have heard him fwear; 
What mould I think o£ it? urge; him againc, . , ' , ■ 
And by fome other way ? I willxloc fo. 
Well Thomas, thou haft fvvornc notto difclofc ; 
Y cs, you did fwcar ? C a s h . Not yet, fir , but I will, 
Plcafcyou — KiT.f No y ThomjAs^I date.tiakc thy word. 
But ; ir thou wilt fweare, doe, as thou think'ft good ; 
I am refolv'd without it 5 at thy plcafure . 

Cash. By my foulcs fafetie thenj fir, I proteft. 

My tongue (hall ne're take knowledge of a word, 
Deliver'd me in nature of your truft. 

Kit.; It's too much, thefe ceremonies need not, . 

I know thy faith to be as firmeasrock, , 
Tho mas, come hither, neere;.we-,c.annot be 

Too private,; in this bufinene. S.o : it,is, 
(Novv^lTcha's.fworne, Idarc the kfetycr venter) ; 
I have of late ,by divers obfervafions— 
(But, whether his oath can bind him, yea, or no 5 
Being not taken lawfully ? ha ? fay. you ? 
I will askc counfell, ere I doe proceed : ) 
Tho m as, it will beflow too long to-ftay, 
Ilefpic foinc fitter .time foonc, or to morrow, :; Sir, at your plcafure ? Kit . 1 will think. 
I pray you fcarch the books 'gainft my returrie, 
For the receipts *twixt me, andTiiAPs. Cash. I will, fir. 

. Kit. And, hcareyou, if your miftrishrothcr, W'll-kked, 
Chance to bring hither any gentlemen , • 

Ere Iconic: back- > let* one ftraight bring me word. , 

Cash. Very well, fir. Kit. To the Exchange - y doc you beare! 
Or jicre in* Cofo^-ftreet, to Iuftice Clements. 
Eorgen it not , nof be not out ©f the way. 

Cash. 1 will nor, fir. Kit. I pray you have a care on't, 
Or whether he come, or no, ifany other, 
Stranger, ot elfc, faile not to fend me word . 

Cash. I (hall not, fir. Kit. Be 't your fpeciallbufinefic 
Now, to rememberit. Cash. Sir, I warrant you. 

. Kit. But, Thomas, this is nor the fecret, Thomas, 
I told you of. . Cash. No, fir. I doe fuppofe it. 
Kit . Belcevc mc, it is not. Cash. Sir, I doc bclcevc you . 

. . Kit. 




And, Thomas," 




p^JMaJin Us Humour^ 

- . . „ Jr : c 7 rtr that's enough. But Th o m a s, 
K ,r. By te^^^fj. Joe ySu fee ? 

I would nor, you 

1 care not. 

conceive thus much. 

To any creature living; yet, 1 cure 
Well* I mail hence. Thoma s, 
It was a tryallofyou, when I msM£ . 
So deepe a fecret to you, 1 rneane not this, 
But that I have to tell you , this is nothing, this. £ ; 
But, Thomas, keep fc from my wife I charge you. 
LocVdup in filencc, mid-night, buried here. 
No greater hell, than to be (lave to fcare. ^ 
Cash. Lock'd up in filcnce, mid-night, buried 


Whence 'mould this flood of paflion (trow) take head? 

Beit, dreame no longer of this running humour, 

For feare I finkc'- the violence of the ftrcame 

Already hath tranfported me fo farrc, 

That 1 can fecle no ground at alii but fdfty 

Oh, 'tis our water-bearer : fomewhat ha's croft him, now '.' 

? ha? 






* J 



"C Ailing dayes? what tell you me of fafting dayes? Slid, would they 
•*• were all on a light fire for me: Th&y fay, the whole world fhallbc 
confum'd with fire one day, but- would I had thefe ember-weckes , and 
villanous fridayes burnt, in the meanc time^ and then ■ 

Cas. Why, how now Cob? what moves thee to this choller? ha? 

^ Cob. Collar, mafter T h 6 m a s ? I fcorncyour collar, I fir,I am none 
oyour cart-horfc, though I carry, and draw water. An'you offer to ride 
me, with your collar, orhaltcr either,! may hap mew you a jades trick,fir. 

Cas. O, you'll flip your head out of the collar? why, goodman Cob, 
you miftake me. 

Cob. Nay, I havemy rewrite,* Icart be angry as well as another, fir. 

Cash. Thy rewmc, Cob? thy humour, thy humour? thou miftak'ft. 

Cob. Humour? mack, I think it be fo indeed : what is that humouP 
fome rare thing, I warrant. ' 

rn^V H ;^7 5l n tC 5 thC r 5 Cos :Icisa g^tkman.likemoniter bred, 
fc £.WTS^ Ted b/foll/. 

£25z 253* ° n ic : «?"!». ^ant, 1 know you nor, be gone. Let 

k Very Man in bis Humour. 



Cob. Mary that, which will make any mm out of love with 'hem, I 
think : their bud conditions, an you will needs know. Firft,thcy arc of a 
Fkmmijb breed, I am fare on't, for rhcy raven up more butrcr , than all the. 
dayes of the week, befide : next, they ftink of filh, and leek-porridge mi- 
ferably : thirdly, they'll keep a mm devoutly hungry, alhday, and at night 
fend him (upper Iefle to bed. 

Cas. Indeed, thefc arc faulrs, Cob. 

Cob. Nay, and this were all, 'twere fomething, but they are the oncly 
knowne enemies to my generation. A fading-day, no fooner comes, but 
my linage goes to wrack, poor cobs, they fmoke for it, they arc made mar- 
tyrs o' the gridiron, they melt in paflion': and your miids too know this, 
and yet would have me turne H annib al, and cat my own fim,and bloud : 
My princely couz, fear nothings I have not the heart to devoure you, arf HtpaBtiuii 
I might be made as rich as King CopHetua. O, that I had room for rtd bemr *- 
my tears, I could weep falt-warer enough, now, to preferve the lives often 
thoufandofmy kin. But, 1 may curie none but thefe filthy Almandcfa 
for au'c were not for them, thefe dayes of perfecution would ne'rebce 
known, lie bee hang'd, an* fome Fi(h-mongcrs fon doe not make of "hem ; 
and purs in more fafting-dayes than he fliould doc, becaufe he would utter 
his fathersdryed ftock-fim,and ftinking conger. 

Cas. 'Slight, pcace,thou'lt be beaten like a ftock-fim, el fe : here's Mr. 
Matthew. Now mult I look out for a mcflenger to my Mafter. 

AB m. Scene v. 

Well-bred, E.Kno'well, Brayn-worme, ioBADiLi,' 

Matthew, Stephen, Thomas, Cob; 

"D Efiirew mce, but it was an abfolute goal jeft, and exceedingly well 

-*-* carried ! . 

E.Kn. I, and our ignorance maintained it as well,did it not ? 

Wel. Yes faith ; but was't poffiblc thou ftiouldft not know him ? I 
forgive M r . Stephen, for he is ftupidity it felfe i 

E.Kn. 'Fore God,not I, an" I might have been joyn'd patten with one 
of the feven wife matters, for knowing him. He had fo writhen himfelfc, 
into the habit of one of your poor Infantrie , your decay'd, ruinous , 
worme-eaten gentlemen of the round : fuchas have vowed to fit on the 
skirts of theCitie,letyourProvoft, and his halfe-dozcn of Halberdiers 
doe what they can ; and have translated begging out of the old hackney 
pacc,to a fine eafie amble, and made it runne as fmoorh of the tongue, as 
a move-groat (lulling. Into the likenclfe of one of thefc Reformatio s had 
hce moulded himfelfc fo perfectly, obferving every trick of their action, 
as, varying the accent, {wearing with znempbalis, indeed all, with fo (pc- 
ciall,andcxquifircagrace, that (hadft thou fcen him) thouwoulft have 
fivorne, hee might have been Serjeant-^y'or, if not Licutenant-C^W' 

to the regiment. . 

Wel. Why, Br.ayn*worme, who would have thought thou nadifc 

been fuch an artificer? , , 

E.Kn. An artificer? anarchited! except a man had ftudied begging 
all his life-time,and been a weaver of language, from his mfancic, for the 

cloathingof it ! I never faw his rivall. 

& Wel. 


Eyery Man jn his Hum our . 


VViT^VhS BP?3 thou this coatc I mar Ic > 

V . That cannot bcc, it the proverb hold „ for, a craft* kn J; 

^.febut Hid oca a broker, *«. 
Wel. (Well put off) no crafric .knave, you'll fey. 
E.Kx. Tur.licclu's more of thefc niifts. 
Bray. And yet where I have one, the broker has. tcn,fir. 
Tho. Francis , Mar 1 in, rie're a lone to bee found, now ? what a 

ipitc s this? . ' ' 

Wei, How now, Thomas-? is my brother Kit i:lv, within ? 

Tho. No fir, my Milter went forth cclie now : but Maftcr Downs. 
right is within. Cos, what Cob ? is hecgonetoo ? 

Wel. Whither went y out Maftcr? Tno.MASjCanft thou tell? 

Tho. I know not 5 to Jufticc Clements, I think, fir. Cob. 

E.Kn. Jufticc Clement, what's he? 

Wel. YVhy,doft thou not know him ? he is a Citie-magiftrate, a fa. 
fticc here, an excellent good Lawyer, and a great fcholler : but the onely 
mad, mcrry,oId fellow in Europe J I (hew'd him you the other day. 

E.Kx. Ohjisthathe ? 1 remember him now. Good faith, and he has a 
very Orange prefence, mcc thinks j it {hews as if he flood out ofthe rank 
from other men : I have heard many of his jells i' the P/ther/I tie. They 
fay, be will commit a man, for taking the wall,of his horfe. ' 

Wel. 1, or wearing his clokcof oncfhoulder, orfervingof God • a- 
ny thing indeed, if it come in the way of his humour. 

Cas. Gasper, Martin, Cob : "heart, where mould they be trow> 

Bob. Maftcr K i t e l y's man,pray thee vouchfafcusthclightiW 
this match. ° ° 

Cas. Pire on your match, no time but now to vouchfafe ? F r a x- 
C i s. Cob. 

Bob. Body ofmee! here's the remainder of feven pound, fincevc- 

world (hall not reprove IhaVb-en in^!/ I ^ hil l tcl h™, the 
^cnchhermyVd^ (wtee < h " hero grows) 

have received the ta*fte of any S^ "T ( ° £l ? k«°"W> 
of one and twentie weeks, b J SSSSK! ?? ^ for tIlc 0»« 

>^.^^ttift^iSR^&ffi ond y- Therefore, 

kmdfo, it makes an W w * that h J vn ' r t th ^aturc, i„ the true 
uous plant in all" Italy, it mould expelHt 2R 'x ^ dcad »? P^ ' 
eafc, as I fpeake. AnJ fe. Jl _ pc11 ir ' and clarificyou, with as much 


M Dnlv rh.,c «..-!. U.. T , mSkind jbutI Profe n,^ yrdrcno( ^ 

. Jandwillafrlrmeic 

' er aign,and precious weedy 




E.Kn. This fpeech would ha* done decently i"S7fc£^5adc r$ moutUl ' 
Co". At J^Clemhhts^ is : in the middle of cj^erl 

Do c Mr; G :sr g — *** 

ir.wr' By S° dsI ? c » ^ mar '^^^pIcafurc,or felicirie they haveinta 
fefefi "*-f" < & good for nothing,but to choke am , and I 

rfSSrt r g ,° f 5 2nd 5° m0rc the bdl "«* for, yefter-ni^ht • c 
of them (rhcy fay) m \l nere feape it ; hec voyded a bumdl of fr St vcfteT 

d£?73 \™ dd °—\ By - thC ftoc ^^n there we reno^ff'i 
than II Id have it prefent whipping, man, or woman, that mould but dra 

T r ^ . /r K P1PC 5 A iC r U mc them a11 in ^e end s many s f e 
it ; it s httlc better than rats-bane, or rofaker. • 

Am . Oh, good Captain, hold, hold. 

B03. Youbafecullion,you. . ' , vM/to» 

t ho C a A rnvcli r eioTgh ZT^ ' "**> ,b °° ~* "^-'^too, " 

te n Cc B ; SSfeKsffi with hi5 mjtcl " ! ™ ^ ou ; ^i ic 

Bob. Doe you prate ? doc you murmurc ? 

awfyfkn^' g °° d ?*?*' ^1 y ° U regard thc hufnour of a ^olc ? 

Wel. Thomas, get him away. 
h,r B rh B -^ horfon I filt hy flave,a dung-worm,anexcroment:Bod V o'C,E S AR 

Bob. By Pharaoh's foor,.I would havedone it. 

^^': ■""»«-» *»«wyoui.uri;.w,- tins gentleman do sit, rare 

Bray. Maftcr, gIance v glanCe h Mufter Wf£ r-niu d ! X 

J>tep. As I have fomewhatb6be.favcd,I'hroreft l 

Wel. You area fooler; If needs no ■aKchvh. - 




_.. . gcnrJeman 

Wel. No, Mafter St e 
the artillery garden ? 

Srpn' ?u >' cs ' t ^ t !^may.,lDs;allyou have for yourmonry. 
w ' ^J sI ^^ndcrtian 7 and a fbuldier, it is divine nhrco f 

• N. 





awry Man^^^ 

; m„<w Matthew is gone to ialutchis 

DOtr. He never comes unturnii stb . sBRAYN . woRMn 

Step. Bray*-worme ? ^ n on your gentilitic. 

£E teft^lEFA s?GEORGE ' f 

Ph a RAoh. aifcourfc is fimply drawn out with oaths. 

^^z^^^ oi ^^ *^r lovc ir * 

/S in. Sew* 


Kiiely, Cob. 


Cob. Mary fir, your brother , Matter Well-bred 
Kit. Tut, betide bim : what ftrangers arc there, man ? 
Cob. Strangers? let mee fee, one, two 5 mafle I know not well, there 

are fo many. 

Kit. How? fomany? 

Cob. I, there's fome five, or fixe of them, at the molt. 

Ki t . A fwarme, a fwarme, 
Spight of the devill, how they fting my head 
With forked ftings, thus wide, and large! But,CoB, 
Ho.v long haft thou been comming hither, Cob ? 

Cob. A little while, fir. 

Kit. Didft thou come running ? 

, Cob. No, fir. 

Kit. Nay, then I am familiar with thy haftc/ 
Bane to my fortunes : what meant 1 to marry ? 
J, that before was rankt in fuch content. 
My mind at reft too , in fo foft a peace, 
Being free matter of mine owne free, thoughts, 
And now become a {lave ? What ? never figh, 
Bee of good cheere, man : for thou art a cuckold, 
Tis done, tis done 5 nay, when fuch flowing ftore, 
Plentie it fclfe, falls in my wives lap, 
The Cornu-copU will bee mine, I know. But, Cob, 
What entertainment had they ? I am furc 
My fifter, and my wife, would bid them welcome! ha? 


Co^ which of them was'r, that firft kiftmy wife > 
(My fitter I mould fay) my wife, alas, 
I fcarc not her : ha ? who was ir, faift thou > 

Col . By my troth fir, will you have the troth of i 

Kit Oh J, good C o, : I pray thcc hcartil 

fliimrLl , -rt amaVagal ? >n ?> andfittcr brSriJcnll than VOur ™- 
fli.psco-w.rfi faw any body to bee kift, unleflc the; SSfS^ 

- ■ -~ the 


■your wot- 

tvery Man in bis Humour* 


the poft,in the middle of the warc-houfc ; for there I left them all,at their 
tabacco, with a poxe. 

Kit. How ? were they not gone in,- then, ere thou cam'ft ? 

Con.O, no fir. 

Krr. Spite of the devill ! what do I ftay here, then ? CoB,folfow me. 

Cob. Nay, fofc and faire, I have eggs on the fpit j I cannot goeyer,fir. 
Now am I for fome five and fiftic reafons hammcring,hammcring revenue : 
oh, for three or four gallons of vinegcr, to fharpen my wits. Revenge,vi- 
ncger revenge : vinegcr, and fnuftard revenge : nay, an' hce had not lycn in 
my houfe,'twouId never have griev'd me,but being my gucft,onc, that He 
befwornc, my wife has lent him her fmock off her back, while his one lliirc 
has been at warning \ pawn'd her ncckerchcrs for clean bands for hint; fold 
almoft all my platters, to buy him tabacco • and hce to turne monftcr of in- 
gratitude, and ftrikc his lawfullhoft! well, I hope toraife upanhofteof 
furic for't ■ here comes Jufticc Clement.- 

J&. i 1 1. Scene yn. 


Hat's M after KiTELY gone ? Roger ? 
For. Lfir. 

Clem. 'Heart of me ! what made him leave us fo abruptly! How now, 
firra ? what make you here ? what would you have, ha ? 

Co b . An't pleafe your worfhip, I am a poor neighbour of your wor- 

Clem. A poor neighbour of mine? why, fpeak poor neighbour. 

Co b. I dwell, fir, at the figne of the water-tan kcrd, hard by the green 
lattice : I have paid fcor, and lot thcre,any time this eighteen yeers. 

Clem. To the green lattice ? 

Cob. No, fir, to the parifh : mary, I have feldome fcap'd fcot-frcc, at 
the lattice. 
' Ci.em. 0,wcll' what bu fine flc has my poor neighbour with me? 

Cob. An't like your worfhip, lam come, to crave the peace of your 

Clem. Ofmecknavc? peace of mcc, knave? did I ever hurt thee? or 
threaten thee ? or wrong thee ? ha ? 

CoB. No,fir,but yourworfhips warrant, for one that has wrong'd me, 
fir: his amies are at too' much liberrie,! would fain have themboundtoa 
treatie of peace, an'ttw credit could compafle it, with your worfhip. 

C le m . Thou gOeft faf re enough about for't,! am fure. 

Kno. Why s docft thougoe in danger of thy life for him ? friend ? 

Cob. No, fir ; but I goe in danger of my death, every houre,by bis 
means : an I die, within a twelvc-moncth and a day, 1 may fwear by the law 
of the land, that hce kill'd me. 

Clem. How ? how knave ? fwear he-kill" J thee ? and by the law ? what 
pretence ? what colour ha ft- thou for that ? 

Co s . Marv, an't pleafe your worfhip, both black', and blew ; colour 
enough, I warrant you. 1 have it here, to mew your worfhip. 

Clem. What is he that gave you this, firra ? 

Cob. A gcntlcman,and a fouldier, he fayes he isjtf the C it ic here. 

B S CLtM. 




B^rMm ^^ umm ' 

— r 



^CfoutficT^hc" citic ? What call you him > 
Capaine B6BADIL. ^ ^ ^ ? 

• SSffii^M > fpcakc truely knave I advifc you. * 

feyourworfhip, onely becauie I fp,^ 
came by 'hem, when they were taking 

3 §S i ^^* i 4 li *^ *' Form ALi.his name. 
Form. Whafsyqur name,firra.? 
Cor OnvBR,fir, Oliver Cob, i»\ 

Clem Tcil Oliver Cob, he (hall goc to the jaylc^oRMALL. 
FoKM'OLiviiRCoB,myMaftcr,]urticcCLi:MENT 3 faycs 3 you(haIl 

8 °C o b. 0,lbefeech your worfhip,for Gods fakc,deare mailer Jufticc. 

Civ M. "Nay, cods precious : an fuch drunkards, and tankards, as you 
are,comctodifputcof tabacco once ; I have done ! away with him. 

Cob. O, good mafter Juftice, fweet old gentleman. 

Kn o. Sweet Oliver, would I could doe thee any good. Jufti 
Clement, let mee intrcat you, fir. 

Clem. What ? a thred-barc rafcall ! a beggcr 1 a flave that never dfuu 
outofbetet than pifie-pot mettle in his life 1 andhee to dcprave,and abufc 
thevertueof an herbe, fo generally receiv'd in the courts of Princes, the 
chambers of Nobles,the bowers of fweet Ladics,the cabbins of Souldicrs 1 
Roger, away with h im, by gods pretious— I fay, go too . 

Cob. Dear Mafter Juftice j Let me be beaten againc, I have deferv'i 
it : but not the prifon, 1 befcech you. 
K no. Alas poor Oliver! 

C le. RoGER,makehimawarrant(heiliallnotgo)Ibutfeartlickmvf. 

F orm. Doe not ftink fweet Oliver, you {hall not goc, my .maftr 
will give you a warrant. 

C o B . O, the Lord maintain his worfhip, his worthy worfhip. 

Clem. Away, difpatch him. How nOw, Mafter Kn o w e l 1 In dumps! 
in dumps ? Come, this becomes not. \ 

Kn o . Sit, would 1 could not feclc my cares- » 

Clem. Yourcarcsarc nothing! they are likemy cap, fodnc put on,and 
as foonc put off. What? your fonne is old inough,to governe himfelfe: 
let himrunnc his courfe, it's the only way to make him a ftay'd man. U 
he w cre an unthrift a ruffian, a drunkard or a licentious liver , then *ft 
had reafon - you had reafon to take care : but, being none of thefe mirth's 

acs&pj* r vicc r ° raany «- *» ^»fiS 

allinacupoffackc. Come, come, let's trie it: I mufe, your parcelled 
fouldier rcturncs not all this while. ' y parcclioia 


Aft iv. Scene r, 

Downe-ri g „ T) Dame fciTBtY" 


Every Man in his Humour. 

Dow. His friends ? his fiends. S'lud, they doe nothing but haunt him 
upanddownc,like a fort ofunluckicfprites, and tempt him to all manner 
of wllany, that can be thought of. Well, by this light, a little thing 
would make nice play the dcvill with fomc of he m ; and 'twere notmore 
• for your husbands fake , than any thing clfe, lid make the houfc too hot 
for the Deft on'hem • they fhouldfay, and fweare, hell were broken loofe, 
c're they went hence. But,by gods will, 'tis no bodies faulr, but yours: for, 
an' you had done, as you might have done, they fhould have becne per- 
boyl'd and bak'd too, every mothers fonne, c're they fhould ha' come in 
ere a one of hem. 

. Dame. God's my life -'did you ever hearethc like? what altrange 
man is this .' Could I keepe out all them, think you ? I fhould put my 
felfe,againft halfe a dozen men ? fhould I? Good faith, youl'd mad the 
patient' ft body in the world, to heare you talkefo, without any fenfe, 
or reafon.' 







Bridget, M^. Matthew, Dame k i t s- 

L Y , Doff.NE-RIGHT, We.L-BRED, S T E- 

phe n, Ed. Kn o'we l l, Bob adi l, 
Bravn e-w o r m e, C a s h. 

CErvant (in troth) you are too prodigall 
^Of your wits treafure, thus to powre it forth., 
Upon io mcane a fubject , as my worth ? 

Mat. Youfaywell,miftrisjandI meane,as well* 

Down. Hoy-day, here is ftuffe ! 

Wel . O, now ftand clofc : pray heaven , fhee can get him to read; 
He fhould doc it, of his owne natural! impudencie. 
Brid. Servant, vyhatis this fame, I pray you? 
Mat. Mary, an Elc'gie, an Elegit, an oddc toy i 

Down. To mock an apewithall. 0,1 couldfbwuphis mouth, now. 

'Dame. Sifter , I pray you let's hcarc it. 

Down. Are you rime-given , too ? 

Mat. Miftris, lie read it, if you plcafe^ 

Brid. Pray you doc, fcrvanr. 

Down. O, here's no foppcrici Death, lean indurethcftocks,bcf.tcr. 

E.Kn. What ay Ics thy brother ? can hec not hold his water, at read- 
ing of a ballad I 

Wel. O, no : a rime to him, is worfe than cl:ccfc, or a bag-pipe. Bur, 
mark, you lofe.the prorcftarion. 

Mat. Faith, 1 did it in a humour j I know not how it is ; bur, 
plcafcyou come neerc,fir. This gentleman has judgement, hee knows 
how to cenfure of a — pray you fir, you can judge. 

Step. Not I, fir: uponmvrcputation,and,bythefoot of Pharaoh, 

We l . O, ch idc your couifen, for (wearing* 

E. KN.Not I, fo long as hec do's not for fweare himfelfe. 

Bob. .Mafter MATTHEw,youabule the expectation of your dearc 
miftris, and her fairc fiftct : Fie, while you live, avoid this prolixitie. 

Mat. I (hall, fir.- well, //;aWe dulcc. 

E x E.Kn# 




/ y A l.u, i» to '&«**» 

— ? T~7c^.\„ ;„r~T~- • awy Man m bts'Hutiimr. 

- — ■- . (Hvct tlnnstore a looiCjimlccd. • 

■K- 11-- '. ^intlurfcnlc? Wei . S'lighr, tetf a trick > ,1 r,vy, 1 ', , y.,u „ w i:^ 

£ SS y^? This was your villanie, to jjjfl,^ ^[^Xr^^ ftCT^ ^?W^^^ 

* T: ; o; tlv Benchers ptefc : /■"« £*« - 

To *uk tb/thtoghtSi a< fyM Mes ftrhm, 


of echtiVtOttr toijrrroio, n«« "" 

We i.. How like you that, fir? 

E.Kx. Slight, he flukes his head like a bottle, to feele and there 

be any braine in it I 

Mat. But obferve the caaflrophey now, 
And I in dutit will exceed all other, 
yfs you in U.w doe excefl loves mother. 
} : .K.\\ Well, Ik lraue him free of the wit-brokers, Tor hee* fitters no- 
thing, but ftolnc remnants.- 

Wkl. O, forgive it -him. 

E.Kn. A filching rogue? hang him. And, from the dead ? it's wo 
than facrilcge. 

Wel. Sifter, what lu'youherc ? verfes ? pray you lets fee. Who ma£ 
theft verfes ? they aie excellent good ! 

Mat. 0,mafler We i.-b red, 'tis your difpofitjon to fayfo,frr.Tbr] 
were good I'tkc morning, I made hem, ex tempore, this morning. 
WjiL. How? ex lempcre? & 

.Mat. I, would * might be hangc! eifc : askc Captayn Bommiti 
He faw me write them, at the— (poxc on it) the Starre, yonder. 

£ K * Y '± U ]T C find ' m . b «bcarr,tocoutfethc-ftatrcs,fo? ■ 
q™ %^?? overimrlvhim.: rhey ha curft him enough already. 

t n^nt luuuuci, ana DTCca ncrc' 

«ris of a wit : •harem make Tour nVrfT V ^ ^?* is ^^R 
biear,.ve i looke SWSt^S&^ !^nr, ; that ever, 
eares, in the diet* «ji rvf ff ff SS ,urn dr P™ <* over hcad,^ 



Dowx.O! !I noufler ! impudence* M ^V°' 
£ Jn^brorUr^vhatrrfe^ mCkS? 

,• you g 

— ? 




"VVe t 


and verfes, and trick s ? 

Dow. Ojthc liend/^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ 

Wel. Nay, you, lampe of virginity, that take it in fnufte fo i CO m 
and chcrifh this mnzpoetidtll fitrie, i n your k rvant, youl be I • 
fhortly, for a concealment : goe to, reward his muic. You cfcnnot • 
himlcflc than a (hilling, in confidence, for the booke, he had ic out'of. 
coft him a teflon, at leaft. How now, gallants ? Mr. Matt w ? Cap- 
tain ? What? all fonncs of filcnce?no fpirit? 

Dow. Come, you might practice' your ruffian- tricks fomewherc clfe, 
and not here, I wufle: this is no tavemc, nor drinking- fchoole, to vent 
your exployts in. 

Wkl. How now/ tvliofe cow ha's calv'd ? 

Dow. Mary, that ha's mine, fir. May, Boy, never looke askance at 
me, for the matter 5 II© tell you of it, I, fir, you, and yourcompa- 



1 not afraid of you, nor 
them neither : your hang-byes here. You m'uft have your Poets, and your 

potlings, your fo/dadb's^tiA fooLidoH to follow you up and downe theci- 

tic, and here theymuft come to doininecre, and fwagger. Sirrha, you; 

ballad- finger, and flops, your fellow there 1 , 1 get you out ^ get you home: 

or (by this ftcele) He cut off your cares, and that prefently. 

Wel. S'light, flay, lets fee whaf he dare doe : cut off his eares ? cut 
awhetftone. Youareanafre',cbeytJu fee > touch any man here, and by 
this hand, Ilerunne my rariier r/ t«i rhe hilts in you; 

Dow. Yea that wdflfe I faine- fee, boy. 

Dame. O ]efu .' murder. ■•TrifekMsj^GAs-ptk ! 

B»m. T-T*»1nr> V>^lr«/> TuaWjc . — 


'Aivifc. \j jciu : murtrer. ' x n o ar.q 

•rid. Helpe, helpc, Thomas. 
i.KN. Gentlemen, forbcare, 1 pr, 

pray you. 

'lie; nUdrra y 
and the. c ; 

houfe male out 

lopjrt: tin. 

Bon. Well, firrah,you, HoL&PBk&r.'s : by my hand, I m\\ pinck 
your flelT), full of holes, with my rapier for this-' t will, by this good hea- 
ven : Nay , let him come, let him. come, gentlemen^ by the bo'Jy of Saint 
George, lte< not Whim. ! ' Thti 6<fb to 

Cash. H^, hold, 'good gentlemeii. ht»9*v* 

Dow. You wjiorfon, bragging c;oyftrilK' 


arc m» ltd. 


T M iv. Scene m 


; > 


Ki TFi-y. 

r« •■ ' -• 1 •• 

Hy, how now? what's the matter ?. what's the ft ir re here-' 
VYhcnccfp rings the quarrcll? Thomas 'where is bee ? 

Put up your weapons, and put off tfiis rage, ) 

My wife_and fifter, they are caufe of this, 


■ ' 

*» * r^v * * ■ 

/ bwth ancicm h\ 

5t ; 



Too fuddcn,inyour humour -and, you know 
My brother Wel-bked's temper will not bcarc 
Anv renoofe, chiefly in fuch a prcfcncc, 

Might ivounJ him m opinion, and refocft. 

Down. Refpcft? what talkcyou of refpecVmong fuch, 
As ha' nor fpark of manhood, nor good manners ? 
'Sdeyncs 1 am aftnm'd, to heare you I refpe& ? 

Brid. Yes, there was oncacivill gentleman, 
And very worthily demeand himfelfe! 

Kite. O, that was fomc loveof yours, fiftcr! 

Brid. A love of mine? I would it were no worfe, brother .' 
You'ld pay my portion fooncr, than you think for. 

Dame. Indeed, he feem'd to be a gentleman of an exceeding {aire 
difpofition, and of very excellent good parts! 

Kite. Her Love, by heaven ! my wifes minion I 
Fairc difpofuion > excellent good parts ? 
Death, thefe phrafes are intollerable I 
Good pares ? how (hould fliec know his: parts ? 
His parts ? Well, well, well, well, well, well ! 
It is too plaine, too clcerc: Thomas, come hither. 
What, are they gone? Cash. I, fir, they went in. 
My miftris, and your fiftcr . ' 

Kite. Are any of the gallants within ' 

Cash. No, fir, they are ail gone. 

Kite. Art thou fure of it ? 

Cash. 1 can affure you, fir. 

geScmtn, fir? Y * ^ ** Kno ' WELL ' * han ^me yong 

Kite. I, I thought fo : my mind gave m c as much- 
He die, but they have hid him i' thehoufe 
Somewhere; He goc and fearch : goc with mee, Thoma," 
Be true to mee, and thou (halt f£de mee a maftcr. 

^9 iv • Scene iv, 

Cob, Tib. 
\J\Tlht Tib, Tin, I fay. I 

L.OB. NaV VOufiavr* AstnnM «,. -r - t . 


fm vV s } . ' wtot s tIlc nc *w ? 
.u /- , Na y you have ftonn'd me, ifmh i ,^ t . • 

mc a knock o' 

ZsWry M*» 

Ti b . Away you foole, did I know it was you, that knockt ? i 

Come,come,youmaycalIirie as bad, when you lift. 
Cob. May I ? Tib, you area whore. 
Tib. You he in your throrc, husband. 

n £Jv -1 How > thc lie ? aml in m y throtc t0 ° ? <*oe you Ions- to b 

itabbd, na? ' ' a 

Tib. Why, you arc rto.fou!dicr,I hope? . , 

Cob . O, mu ft you bee ftab'd by a fouldicr ? Maflc, that's true ! when 
was BoBADir here? your Caprainc ? that ro?ue, that foift, that fencing, 
Xurguhanj lie tickle Jiijftj&itk ^ D 

Tib. Why, what's thc matter? trow! 

Cob. Ojhchasbafted mec,rarcly, fumptuoufiy ! but I have k here in 
black and wlurc ; for his black, and blew : iliall pay him. 6, thc Juftice I 
the honeftcft old brave Trojan in London 1 1 do honour the very flea of his 
dog. A plague on him though* be put mc once in a villanous filthy fear « 
mary,it v am (lit away, like the fmoke of tdacca :but I was fmok'd foundlv 
firft. I thank the dcvill,and his good angell, my gueft. Well,wife,or Tib 
(which you will) get you in,and lock the door, 1 charge you, let no bodie 
in to you; wife, no bodie in,tdyou: thofe are ray words. Not Captain 
Bo b himfelfe, nor the fiend, in his likeneffe ; you are a woman ; you have 
flefh and bloud enough in you, to bee tempted : therefore, keep the door, 
{hut, upon allcomracrs. 

Ti 3 . I warrant you,there fhall no bo'dy enterhere, without my contend 
Cob. Nor, with your confcrit,fweet Ti B,and fo I leavcyou. , 

Tib. It's more, than you know, whether you leave mee fo, 
Cob. How? • 

Tib. Why, fweer* 

C o b . Tut, fweer,- or fowtc, thou art a flowrcv 
Keep clofe thy doore, I askc no more. 

M r v. Scene v. 


1 % 


• I 

Ed.Kno' , Wee-b.r'ed, Step he , 

br ayn-w o rme, 

\J\7 Ell Brayn-worme, per forme this bufincfie, happily, 
And thou mikeft a purcbafc ofmy love, for ever. 

Wel. Ifaith, nowletrhy fpirirsiifc their beft faculties, Rut,ata: 
hand, remember thc menage,- to my brother : for, there's no other means 
to ftarthim. , 

Bray. I warrant you, fir, feare nothing: I have a nimble foule .ha'? 
wakt all forces ofmy phant'fic,by this time, ani.put 'hem in true mori- 
on. What you have poifeft me withall, He difcharcc it amply, fir. Mike 
it no qucftion 

Wel. Forth, and profper, Brayn-worSie.- FaithjNtD ? hov/ Joft 
tnou approve of my abilities iiubis device ? 

^-Kn .' Tfotlr,\vcll,howlbevcr :' byr, ic. will come excellenr, if it rake! 
n VVei - T^ke, man ? why, it cannot choofc but take , if the. circum- 
stances mifcarry not : bur, tell race, inacnuoufly, doft rhou a/K:«5liny fiftcr 
Bridget, as,thouprctend'ft? 




Every Man in bis Humour. 

Every Man in bh Humour. 

v K " S533ra^ fee M a ma.a of good*. 

^Sthou/fa^ her ; by this light.thou flute ' 

W«.' By this°S ftwft* ^vc her r, ^ *•&£* P ref ^ i beald 4^ j was l ockt lwhere «* a great many tich mcrchanrs.and 
Point,but where to meet, and as I am an noneit man, tie rjnng net. ^^ ^.^ ^ ^ .^ ^ fcaft . m $ yom fo[))M ,. EDW ARD , wifh , 

*& g^SLTwl I (Weatby , thou Mt have her,* 

E.Kn. Pray thee, be at peace, I am fatisficd : and doebelcevc, thou 
wilt omit no offered occafion, to make my dcfires compleat. 
Wel. Thou (halt fee, and know, I will not . 


*M iv. Scene vi.' 


As your man a fouldier, fir ? 

Kno . I, a knave, I tookc him begging tf the way. 
This morning, as I came over ^Woore-fields ! 
O, herehee is ! yo' have made faire fpeed, bclceve me .* 
Where, i' the name of (loth, could you bee thus ? — • 

Bray. Mary, peace by my comfort,wherc I thought I fhould havchaJ 
little comfort of your worships fervice. 

Kno. How Co? 

Bray. O, fir ! yourcoraming to the Citic, your entertainment ofra«, 

and your fending me to watch ——— indeed, all the circumftances cithc: 

of your charge , or my imployment arc as Open to your fonne , as to 
your fclfc \ 

Kno. How mould thatbee!unIertethatvilIaine,BRAYN-woRME, 
Have told him of the letter , and difcoverd 
All that I ftriaiy charg'd him to concealc? 'tis To! 

Bray. I am partly, o' the faith, tis fo indeed. 

Kno t But, how mould hce know thee to bee my man * 

Bray. Nay, fir, I cannot tell 5 unlelTe it be by the black art « isnotyour 
fonne a fcholler,fir ? 7 

-T Knt ?' Yes, but I hope his foule is not allyed 

tlnto fuch hellifh practice : if it were, 

I had juft caufc to weep my part in him, 

And curfe the time of his creation. 

But, where didft thou find them, Fitz-Sword > 

ncr camcjbuc they fecrh'd men, and oUt flew all their rapiers at my bofornc, 
with fome three or four-fcore oaths to accompany hcm,and all to tell me, 
I was but a dead man, if 1 did not confefle where you were, and how I , ya '5 
imployed,and about what ^ which, when they could not get out of mc(as I 
protett,they muft ha'difiec1ed,andmade an Anatomic o' me,fir(t } and fo I 
told 'hem)they lockt me up intoaroom i* the topof a high houfe, whence; 
by great miracle (having a light heart) I Aid down,bya bottorac of pack- 
thrcd,into the ftrecr,and fo fcapt. But, fir, thus much I canafTurc you, for 

;rcat r 
drew with one of 'hem, and has pointed to meet her anon, at one Cobs 
boufc, a water-bearer, thatdwcls by the wall. Now, there your worfliip 
fhall be fure to take htm, for there heepresy, and failchcwillnot. 

E.Kn. Nor, will I failc, to break his match, 1 doubt not* 
Goe thou, along with Juftice Clement's man, 
And ftay there tor inc. At one Cobs houfc, faift thou ? 

Bray; 1 fir, there you {hall have him. Yes ? invifible ? Much wench; 
or much lbnnc ! 'Slighr, when he has ftaid there, three or four houres, tra- 
velling with the expectation of wonders,and at length be delivered ofayr ; 
6,the fport that 1 fhould then take, to look on him, if I durft ! But, now, I 
meane to appcare no more afore him in this fhape. 1 have another tricky 
to a ft, yet. O, that I were fo happy, as to light on a nupfon,now 3 of this 
Juftices novice. Sir, I make you flay fome what long. 

Form. Notawbir,fir. Prayyou,what doe you meane, fir ? { 

Bray. I was putting up fome papers — 

Form . You ha been lately in the wanes j fir, it fecmes. . 

Bray. Mary have J, fir • to royloflc : andcxpenceof all,almofl:— ^ 

Form. Troth fir, I would be glad to bellow a pottle of wine o* you, if 
it pleafe you to accept ic ■ ■ 

Bray. O, fir- 

Form. But, to hcare the manner of your fen'iccs, and your devices. in 

be readie to difcourfe to you,all I know : and more too,fomewhat. 

Form. No better time, than now, fir- wee' 11 goe to the. Wind-mill: 
there we (hall have a cup of neat grift, we call it. Ipray you, fir, let me re- 
queftyou to the Wind-mill. 

Br ay . lie follow you,fir, and make grift o* you, if I have good luck. 

Scene V i u l 





F. W 



Stephen, Down-rig ht» 

. t 

I A 


C Ir, did your eyes ever rafte the likcclownc of him, where We were to day, 

P M'. We li.-bred's halfc brother ■? I think,the whole earth cannot (hew 

his paralelljby this day -light. - 
E.Kn. Wewere now fpeakingof him; Captain Bob APiLLtelsmc, 

he is fal In foule o' you, too* 


+* . 

~§wyM«n in bi s Humour^ 

I with the baftinado 

M.vr. p l,f.r,he thre^ .tned "Vj^^ tM , morn j n& fo, that 
ro,! • KS »«•"* not done in a _ ^ / 

e ks . SSS^w /° u cvct p tovc y° m felfc upon any of our malUn 

of defence hate > . 

Mat ooodfa- yes ,1 hope he has. 

Bon.' I mil tell you, fir.. Upon my firft coram ingtothc Citie aft 
my Jon* rravaile i for knowledge (in that myftenc only) there came three, 
or fourcof hem to me, at a gentlemans houle, where it was my chance to 
bee rcfidenr,at that time, to intrcat my prefence at their fchooIs,and with, 
all lb much importun'dme,rhat (I protefttoyou,asIama gentleman) 1 
was afbarrid of their mde demcanour^ut of all mcafure : well, 1 told 'hem, 
thar,tocome to a publickfchool, they fhould pardon me, it was oppofitc 
(in diameter) to my humour, but, if fo be they would give their attendance 
at my lodging, I protcftedto doe them what right or favour I could, as I 
was a Gentleman, and fo forth . 

E. Kn. Sojilr, then you tryed their skill ? 

Bob. Alas, foone tryed! you (hall hcare fir. Within two or three 
dayes after, "triey came j arid, by honeftie, fairc fir* belcevc mee, I grae'd 
them exceedingly, {hew'd them fome two or three tricks of prevention 

E. Kn. This is ftrangc, and barbarous '.-as ever I heard ! 

Bob. Nay, for a more inftance of their prcpofterous natures, but 

norc, fir. Thcyhavc alTaulted mee fbme three, foure, five, fix of them to- 

gether,as I havewalkt alone, in divers skirts i' the town, as Turn-bullfrhiie* 

cbmwy Shore : ditchjNhich were then my quarters 4 and fince,upon the Ex- 

eh-angk^t ray \'6d^ine,and^ my ordinary : where I haxe driven r hem afore 

mc,thc whotekngmofa&reer, in the open view of all our gallants pity 

in£io hurfthem ; bclceve mee . Yet alt this lenitie will not ore-come their 

l£iech J -they mil be* doing with, the pifmier, raifing ahill, a man may 

fpurncabroad,\yithhisfoor,atpleafure. By my felfc Icould have (liinc 

baftinado for "hem : yet I hold it good oolinV nnr TJ^l T o r 

.hough Ite skilful,,. ,*, be oppSw Sffir d ' farm * fo 

. tf^^aaff&aar concdt) ourwl,o ' enat 


of her Subjects in generall,buctofave the one halfc, nay, three parts of her 
yeerly charge, in holding warrc, and againftwhat cnimy focver. And- 
iiOw would 1 doc it, think you ? 

E.Kn. Nay, I know not, nor can I conceive. 

Bob. Why thus, fir. I would felcft ninctcenc, more, to my felfc, 
throughout the land ; gentlemen they fhould bee ofgoodfpirit,ftrong, 
and able confhtution, 1 would choofc them by ail inftind, a character, that 
1 have: and I would reach thefc ninetccne, the fpeciall rules, as your Panto, 
your Ketfrfo, your &toccata,your Jmbroccat^your Pagoda, your Montanto.- 
nil they could all play very nearc, or altogether as well as my felfc. This 
done, (ay the enimy were forty thoufand itrong, wee twenty would come 
mto ihc field, the tenth of March , or thereabouts s and wee would chal- 
lenge twenty of the criiray, they could not, in their honour, refufe us j 
well, wee would kill them: challenge twenty more, kill them- twenty 
more , kill them ; twenty more , kill them too ; and thus, would wee kill, 
every man, his twenty a day, that's twenty fcore- twenty fcore, that's 
two hundred. ; two hundrcth a day, five dayes a thoufand; forty thou- 
And : forty times five, five times forty, two hundreth dayes kills them 
all up, by computation. And this, will I venture my poorc gentleman-like 
carcafle, to nerformc ( provided , there be no treafon practised upon us) 
by faire, and difcrcct manhood, that is, civilly by the fword. 

E. Kn. Why, are you fo fure of your hand, Captayn , at all times ? 

Bob. Tut, never mine thruft, upon my reputation with you. 

E. Kn. I would not ftand in Down-rights ftatc, then, an' you 
meet him, for the wealth of any one ftrcct in London. 

Bob. Why, fir, you miftakc me, \ if he were here now , by this welkin, 
I would not draw my weapon on him / let this gentleman doc his mind : 
but, 1 will baftinado him (by the bright Sunnc) w 


(by the bright Sunnc) wbcre-ever I meet him. 
Faith, and He have a fling at him, at my di(hnce. 


Ji. Kn, Gods fo, looke, tfhere he is : yonder he soes. m#**%i t 

r\^*.. -\A7u- -n it... n - . ivatitft over t"t 

Dow. What peevirti luck have I, I cannot meet with thefe bragging M 

raskalls? °° * ' ' 

Bob . It's not he ? is it ? E. Kn. Yes faith, it is he ? 
Mat. He be hang'd, then, if that were he. 

E.Kn. Sir, keepc your hanging good, for fome greater matter, for 
I allure yon,, that was he. 

Step. Upon my reputation, it was hee. 

t B °u' ]? a ^ Itnou g htithadbccnen c,hemuftnothavc2-onefo:but 
I can hardly be indue'd, robelceve,itwashe, yet. 

E. Kn. ■ That I think, fir. But fee, he is comeagaine ' 

* Dow. O, Pharoahs foot,haveI found you? Come, draw,to your 
tools: draw, gipfie; or He threfh you. 

Bob. Gentleman of valour, I doebelceve in thee,hea'rc me ; Ai; •"-^"'■"/^"•cwcrcio. -«»• vjciiuwiianoivaiour,idoeDelccveint; 

Vv'k S ,DOi ^^T^^^^toanation? notfeen Jo w. Draw your weapon, then.. • 

^JiSSMSJ^^ ^^^ t h e P cacc >^^^ ) even l i ) vv,as. 

rellyou, fir^by^e way of private, ar&under-feale 

tefpefts it ? I will 
i ; lam a gentleman, and 

State, not only to fpare th 

e intire live 5 






^"W '^ntlcmcn, bcrc wimcfle, I ms bound to 
this good day. . Captay ne , never reckon it other : bur, 

*^££3t » * *?■» v° u > to dcfcnd * ou < 

fdfc: iliac 11 P^^ a H5SS 'good conftruaion,in faire fore. I ne- 
J^SSXtf (by nU) fure I was (truck with a pla, 
t irt^ for I had no power to touch my weapon. 

E KN 1 "k ! inougli , 1 have heard of many that have becne beaten 
,ISi S.fipe,fi?tyoutoafiiigFan. 'Slid, an'thefc be your tricks, 
vou r^rSnf wu! JL*™™, lie none of them- O, manners ! that 
Zlff^U^ forth fuch creatures ! that Harare (hould be at lei- 

furc to make 'hem I Come, couffe. 
Step. Mafle, lie ha* this cloke. 

E.Kn. Gods will, 'tis Down-rights. rut 

Step. Nay, it's mine now, another might have tanc t up, alwellas Ii 

Hcwcare it, Co I will. /• • 

E.Kn. Ho>v,-an he fee it > hee'li challenge it, allure your felfc. 
Step. I , but he (hall not ha it ; He fay, I bought it. 
E. Kn. Take heed , you buy it not, too dearc , couflc. 

J8. mi. Scene vin. 

Kit EL Y, W el-bred, Dame Kit. Br IDG ET, 

B r a y n e-w o r m e, Cash. 

"VT ow, truft me brother , you were much to blame , 
•^ Tincenfc his anger, and difturbe the peace, 
Of my poore hou/e, where there are fentinclls, 
That every minute watch, to give alarmcs, 
Of civill warrc, without adjection 
Of your affiftanee , or oc.cafion. 

Wel. No harme done, brother, I warrant you : fince there is no 
harruc done. Anger cofts a man nothing : and a tall man is never his ownc 
nian,tillhcbeangry.To keep his valour in obfeuritie, is to keep him- 
felf; as itwcre in a cloak-bag. Whafsa MuGcian, unlclfe he play that's 

nnnn S# *!f ^ ht ? ?* ind f Ced > al1 ^ ™J *ife brother (tends 
upon, abfolutly : and that made me. fall in with him [ fo rcfolutlv 

uam e . I , but what barme might have come of it, brother » 

JS* hi XX t 5 lght ? t g ° 0d ""* d0th " VO- husband 

3 c^fi at the' X^l kn0VVCS : ° r the **£"* ■** ^ 

Kite Now, God forbid: O me. Now, I remember 

Mywifedrunkctome,laft 5an dchang'dthecup- ' 
And bade me wcarc this curfid futc too day. 

ice, if hcav-n fufter murder undifcover*d ' 
I fcele me ill ; give me fome mithridate, 

0?;f* ml oy^good fifter,fetch me, 
O, I am fickc at heart ! I burnc, I burnc. 


Byery Man in bis Humour. 


phd like lit- 
iicc CUmcr.'.ll 

If you will five my life, goc, fetch it me. 
We r. . O, ftrange humour ! my very breath ha's poy fond him. 
Brid. Good brother, be content, what doe you mcanc ? 
The ftrcngth ofthefe extreme conceits, will kill you. 

Dame. Bcfhrew your hcart-bloud, brother Well-bred, now; 
for putting fuch a toy into his head; 

Wei. Is a Rtfimile a toy? will hebepoyfon'd with i (imile ? Brother 
Kitely, what a ftrange, and idle imagination is this ? For ihame, be wi- 
far. O my foule, there's no fuch matter. 

Kite. Am I not fick ? how am I, then, not poyfon'd ? 
Am I not poyfon'd ? how am I, then , fo fickc ? 

Dame. I f you be ficke, your owne thoughts make you fickc. 
Wel. His jealoufic is the poyfon, he has taken. 
Bray. M r . Kitely, my mafter, Juftice Clement falutes you 5 m cmci ( , 
and defircs to (peak with you, with all poffible fpeed. 

Kite. No time, but now? when, I think, I am fickc? very ficke 1 
well, I will wait upon hisworfhip. Thomas, Cob, I mud feeke them 
our, andfet hem fentinells, till Ircturne. Thomas, Con, Thomas. 
Wel. This is perfectly rare, Brayne-worme ! but how got'ft thou 

this apparell, of the Jufticcs man ? 

Bray. Mary fir, my proper fine pen-man, would needs be (low the grift 
ome, at the wind-mil,to hear fome martial difcourfe;whctc lb I marOTard 
him, that I made himdrunk, with admiration ! &,becaufc, too much heat 
was the caufe of his diftemper, I (Iript him ftark naked, as he lay along a- 
ileepe,and borrowed his futc, to deliver this counterfeit meffagcin, lea- 
ving a rufty armor, and an old browne bill to watch him, till my rename : 
which (hall be, when I ha' pawn'd his apparell, andfpent the better part 

o' the money, perhaps. 

Wel. Well, thou art a fucceflefull merry knave, Bray n-worme, his 
ab fence will be a good fubjcel for more mirth. I pray thee, rerurne to thy 
yong mafter, and will him ro meet me,and my filler B rid get, at the tower 
inftantly: for, here, rell him, the houfe isfo ftor'd with jcaloufie, there is 
no roomc for love, to (land upright in. We muft get our fortunes commit- 
ted to fome larger prifon, fay; and, then the tower, I know no better ayre : 
nor where rhe liberty of the houfe may do us more prefent fcrvice. Away« 

Kite. Come hither, Thomas. Now, my fecrct's ripe, 
And thou (halt have it: lay to both thine cares. 
Harke, what I fiy to thee. I muftgoe forth, Thomas, 
Be carefull of thy promifc, keep good watch, 
Note every gallant, and oblerve him well, 
That enters in my abfenCc, ro thy miftris : 
If (hee would (hew him roomes,the jeft is ftalc, 
Follow'hera, Thomas, or elfe hangon him, 
And let him nor goc after; markc their looks j 
Note, if fhee offer but to fee his band, 
Or any other amorous roy, about him; 
But praife hisleggc; or foot; or if fhee fay^ 
The day is hor, and bid him feele her hand, 
How lor it is ; 6, that's a monftrous thing! 
Note me all this, good Thomas, markc their fighs,' 

E 2 And; 


M^{ iiun ^ r ~ 

<: ____ TrTr hrrikc licin off: 

A^S^'S \ Z : doc this > ^ .; ; - - 
He t^arc thee out in it. W c C ASH . As truths fclfe, fir. 

Wik thou be true, my J ^ Mvhcrc is C ob, now? Cob ? 
KlTF . vVhyJbclco^c^.^ , lwondcfj hovv he imploys Cor f i 

Da. He's ever calling tor hQw ^ . s CoB 1S a nccc( r ar - 

v L . Indeed, [^^Sfc, and a thing not very eafie for you to be 
juelUon for you, **^%Cobs wife is an excellent bawd,fiite,, 
„ ;«fin,l in : but this lie aiiu»«- y , ,_.,n». «vin# rn I 

D r- "fZtoRoZ ,M 1 ™ lo&goc with me.ifc 


a woman in no (lcad,unlciTc it procure her touching. But, filler, whether.! 
touch you, or no, it touches your beauties 5 and I am fure , they will abide 
the touch ; an they do not, a plague of all cerufe, fay I : and, it touches nit 

to in parr, though not in the Well, there's a deare and refpected friend 

of mine, lifter, (binds very ftrongly, & worthily affected toward you, & ban 
vow'dto inflame whole bone-fires of zeale, at his heart, in honour of you 
perfections. I have already engag'd my promifc to brin^you, where yoa 
flwllhearchimconrlrmcmuchmore.NHDKNo'wEL is the man, fitter. 
There's no exception againftthe partic. You are ripe for a husband ; andt 
minutes lone to fuch an occafion,is a great trefpafle in a wife beauty. Whs 
fay you, fitter ? On my foule he loves you. WilJ you give him the meeting. 1 
Brid. Faith, I had very little confidence in mine owne conftancie. 
brother, if I durft not meet a man: but this morion of yours , favours of 
■an old knight-adventurers fervant, a little too much, me thinks. 

Wel. What s that, filter ? Brid. Mary, of thefquirc. 

Wel. No matter if it did, Iwouldbc fuch an one for my fricnd,bi* 
fct ! who is retutn'd to hinder us ? 

Kite. What villanie is this ? call'd out on a falfe menage > 
This was fome plot •' I wa s not fent for. B r i d g e t, 
Where's your filter ? Brid. I think fhee be gone forth, fir. 

Kite. How ! is my wife gone forth ? whither for *ods Gkc ? 

Brid. Shee's pone abroad with Thomas. ° 

Kite. Abroad with Tuo mas ? oh, that villaine dors 
Hcc hath difcovcr'd all unto my wife! 

BC3 l£ rn* \V h t0 tfUft r him : Whitber ' l W >' ou > «»t foee ? 

brid. 1 know nor, dr. 

Wel. Ilctcllyou^rothcr.vv 


Kite. Whither, good brother ? 





.0 Cobs houfc, I belceve : but, kecpe my counfell 
™ L wlU) I wxll: to Co.s houfe? doth felmt Goes i 
Shecsipnca purpofc, now, to cuekold me, H1,nechantCoBS £ 

tuery Man in bis Humour. 




With thar lewd raskall, who, to winne her favour, 
Hath told her all. Wel. Come, hee's once more gone,; 
Sifter, let's lofe no time ; dvaffairc is worth it; 

A3 iv. Scene ix. 


Wonder, Captainc,what they will fay of my going away r* ha ? 
Bob- Why, what fhould they lay ? but as or a difcrect gentleman ? 
quick, warie, rcfpc&full of natures faire lineaments : and that's all ? 

M at . Why, fo ! but what can they fay of your beating ? 

Bob. A nide part, a touch with foft wood, a kind of grofic batteric 
us'd, laid on ftrongly,b"orne moft patiently ■ and that's all. 

Mat . I, bur, Would any man have offered it in Venice I as you fay ? 
• Bob. TutjIaiTure you, no : you (hall have there your Nobilis, your 
Ge/jtclezza^comc in bravely upon your ra.w/e a (land you elofc, (land you 
firmc, ftand you faire, favc your retricato with his left lezge, come to the 
vflatfo with the rights thmft with brave fteele,dcfie yourbafe wood .' Bur, 
whercforedoe I awake this remembrance? Iwasfafcinated,by Jupiter : 
ft Icinarcd : but 1 will be un-witch'd,and reveng'd, by law. 

Mat . Doe you heare ? is't not beft to get a warrant, and have him ar- 
retted, and brought before Jufticc Clement? 

Bob. It were not amifle, would we had it. 

Mat. Why, here comes his man,let's fpeaketohim. 

Bob. Agreed, doe you fpeakc. 

Mat. Save you,fir. -Bray. With all my heart, fif. 

Mat. Sir, there isoncDowNE-RiGHT,hath abus'dthis Gentleman, 
and my felfc, and we determine to make our amends by law ; now, if you 
would doe us the favour, to procure a warrant, to bring him afore your 
mailer, you fliall be well conndered, I alTure you, fir. 

Bray. Sir,you know my (ervicc is my living; (uch favours as the(e,got- 
tcn of my mailer is his only preferment, and therefore, you muft confider 
me, as I may make benefit of my place. 

Mat. How is that? fir. 

-Bray. Faith fir,the thing is extraordinary, and the gentleman maybe, 
of great accompt : yet, be what he will, if you will lay me downe a brace of 
angells, in my hand,you (hall have ir, otherwife not. 

Mat. How (hall we doe, Captain ? hce asks a brace of angclls,you 
have no money ? 

Bob. Not a ctoffc, by fortune. 

Mat* Nor l,as I am a gentleman, but two pence, left of my two fhif- 
Iings inthc.mornirrg for wine, and raddilh : let's find him fome pawne. 

Bob. Pawne? wee have none to the value of his demand. 

Mat. 0,ycs.I'le pawne this jcwcll in my care, and you may pawne 
your filkc-ftockings ,'and pull up your boots, they will ne're be mill : It 
muft be done, now. 

Bob. Well, an' there be no remedy : lie ftcpafide, and pull 'hem off. 

Mat. Doc you heare, fir ? we have no (lore of money at this rime, but 
you fhal have good pawhs:look you,fir, this jewel, and that gentlemans lilk- 
ftockings,bccaule wc would have it difpa tcht,e'rc we wencto our chambers. 

Bray. I am content, fir ; I will gctyou the warrant prefently, what' 

F 3 hi 

Ta thtn. 


■r • ts issiT w- in a dokc ' moft common,y ' of 

Bray. •'- „ ? 
m Were Jir here s my jc* vt " 

b£. s^fssss^ you tws **"** prcfentIyi H 

„ ho will 'you have co few: ■ « > fa muft fc con fidcrd 
M »r. AM Svnot V 'tis fervice of danger ! 

S°!' SSX wmigoe pawnetbU cloke of the Juftirf, 
m^ «SSS«f» fu=e,a£ be thc mv felfc , and » 
dcher'more p»ne S ; t mote moneyof Dowhe-WGHT, fotthe atteft. 

All iv. Scene x. 

Kno'weli., Tib, Cash, Dame Kitely, , 

Kitely, Cob. 

r\ H, here it is, I am glad J 1 have found it now. 

\* Ho ? who is within, here ? ■ 

Tjb. I am within, fir, what's your pleafure? 

Kno. To know, who is within, be fides vourfelfe. 
Tib. Why, fir, you are no conftable, I hope? 
Kno . O j ftare you the conftable ? then, I doubt not. 
You have fomoguefts within, deferve that fcare, I 

He fetch him ftraight. Tib. O' gods name, fir* i 

Kno. Goeto. Come, tell me, Is not young KNO*WEL,here? 
Tir.. Young Kno' wel ? I know nonefuch, fir,©' mine honcftiei 
Kno. Ypur noneftie ? damc,it flies too lightly from you : 
There is no way, but, fetch the cpnftablc. 

Tig. The conftable ? the man is mad, I think. 
Cash. Ho, who keeps houfe , here ? 
Kno. O, this is the female copefmate of my fonnc > 
Now (hall I meethim ftraight. Dame. Knock, Thomas, hard. 
C a s . Ho,good wife ? Tib. Why,what's the matter with yo u > 
Dame. Why,woman,grieves it youtoopeyourdoore ? 
Belike, you get fomething to keep it lluit. 
Ti b . What meane thefc queftions, 'pray ycc > 
Da m e . So ftnnge you make it ? is not my husbaniherc >> 
Kno. Her husband/ - .' 

Dame. My tryed husband, Mafter Kitely 
1W \} 0? P hce l nc ^ s «* to bee tryed, here." 

Tip U ' m °' f "T : heo ?* tt n0t for nccd > but P War . 
* i b. Neither for need, nor pleafure, is he here. 


Every Man in bis Humour. 


Kno. This is but a device, ro baulke mec withall. 
Soft, who is this ? 'Tis not my fonnc difguif d > 

Dame. O, fir, have I fore ftaU'd your hone ft market ? 
Found your dole walkes? you ftand amaz'd,now,do you ? 
lfaiih (I am glad) I have fmokt you yet ar Iaft I 
What is your jewell trow ? In: come, let's fee her; 
(Fetch forth your hufwifc, dame) if fhee bee fairer ? 
In any boncft judgement, than my felfe, 
lie bee content with it : but, fhee is change, 
Shce feeds you fat, ftiee fboths your appetite, 
And you are well ? your wife, an honeft woman, 
Is meat twice fod to you, fa ? O, you trccher ' 

Kno. Shce cannot counterfeit thus palpably. 

Kite. Out on thy more than (trumpet impudence! 
Sreal'it thou thus vo thy haunts ? and, have 1 taken ■ . 
Thy bawd, and thee, and thy companion, 
This hoarie- headed letchcr, this old goar, 
Clofe at your villanie, and would ft thou .'iculc ir, 
With this ftale harlors geft, accufing mee ? 
O, old incontinent , doe ft not thou fhamc, 
When all thy powers in chaftitie is fpenr, 
To have a mind fo hot ? and to entice, 
And feed th' enticements of a luftfull woman? 

Dame. Our, I defie thee^ I, diftcmbling wretch. 

Kite. Defie mee, ftrumpet ? aske thy pandar, here. 
Can hee deny it ? or that wicked elder? 

Kno. Why,hear you,fir. Kit. Tur,tut,tut : never fp«ak,' 
Thy guilty confciencc will difcovcr thee. 

Kno. What lunacie is this, that.haunrs this man? 

Kite. Well, good wife B A'D, Con's wife, and you 
That make your-husband fuch a hoddie-doddio$ 
And you, young apple-fquire ; and old cuckold-maker; 
He ha' you every one before a Juftice : 
Nay, you fhall anfwer it,' I charge you goc. 

Kno. Mary, wyth all my hearr, fir : 1 goe willingly 5 
Though I doe raft this as a trick, put on me, 
To punifli my impertinent fearch ^ and juftly: 
And halfc forgive my fonnc, for the device. 

Kite. Come, will you goe ? Pa m £ . Goe ? to thy frame, bclceve it 
Con. Why, what's t he matter, here ? What's here to doe > 
Km-:. O, C o b, art thou come ? \ hfiVe becne abus'd, 
And i' thy houfe. Never was man«foywrong'd ! ( 

Co, {< slid, in my houfe ? my mafter Kitely ? Who wrongs you in 
my houfe? ° 

Kite. Mary, young luft in old ; and old in young, here 
Thy wife's their bawd, here have I takert'hem. 

Sbte fpia her 
husband ccme t 


; sitting ioo!d 

to him. 

9y Tbomxi* 

Mee faUs apm 
bh yvifc gnd 
bats Mn 

Kno. Friend,kno\v fomecaufe. before thou bcat'ftrhy wife, 




Bm M^h Hn ™ nY 

, ; — ^TTTTwhy ? is thcrc n0 caufc ? 

rhis-S madncffc inthcc. ton. / juftice, Cob : 

you may be allow'd to make a bun. 
H IT. Na?;* wilj K^SSwfe thus, at every cuckoldly knav C5 
die o' hemp, o your right anu * 

"ft SBSSWa -.1 ha y6u «* 

^g IV. &*»* XI 


BR Stephen, Do w nh ig h i. 

Ell of allmy difguifes,yet,nowamI moftlikcmy fclfe : beiogi, 

fh , Se arls «£mc .A man of my prefent profeflion, never con, 

XY ssras5Ka»Si^ ■■?** him > for *■> 

Srninutive ofamace, made like a young artichock, that always ca,. 
rics pTpper and fait, in it fclfe. Well, 1 know not what danger 1 under-goc, 
by this exploit, pray heaven, I come well of. 

Mat. See, lthinkc, yonder isthcvarlct,by hisgowne. 

Bob. Let's goe, in queft of him. ■ 

Mat. 'Save you,fricnd; arc not you here, by appointment ot Juftice 

Clements man? 

Bray. Yes, an't pleafe you, fir : he told me two gentlemen had wilfd 
him to procure a warrant from his matter ( which I have about mec) tobe 
ferv'dononeDowNE-RiGHT. - 

Mat . It is honcftly done of you both ; and fee, where the party comes, 
youmuftarreft:fervcit upon him, quickly, afore hce be aware. :— 

Bob. Beare back, mailer Matthew. 

Bray. Matter Do wne-right, larreft you, i'thc Queens name, ani 
muft carry you afore a Juftice, by vcrrueof this warrant. 

Step. Mce, friend? lam no Downe-Right, I. I am made 
Stephen, you doc not well, to arrcft mee, I tell you , truly: lam inno- 
bodiesbonds, not books, T, would you fhould know it. A plague on 
you heartily, for making mce thus afraid afore my time. 

Bray. Why, now arc you deceived, gentlemen? 
Bob Hewcaresfuch aclokc, and that deceived us: But fee, here 
acomes , indeed ! this is he, officer. 

Down. Why, how now^ignior gull ! arcvouturn'dfiltcheroflatc' 
come, deliver my clokc. 

Step. Your clokc, fir? I bought it, even now, in open market. 
Bray. Matter Do wne-right, I have a warrant I mutt fcrve upO* 
you, procur d by thefc two gentlemen. 
Do wN.Thefc gentlemen? thefc rafcals ? 
Bray. Keep the peace, I charge you in her. Maicftics name. 
Do wn . I obey thee. What muft I doe, officer > 

canvl^A C A° rC "? ftcr J uftl « Clement , to anfwer what 
can objed agamft you fir, I will uf e y ou kindly fc 

p!;\ £°mc, «'s befbie, and make the Juftice Caotaine. 
Bob. The varJefs a tall man J afore heaven' ^ apUIIK - 

Every Man in bis Humour. 


Down. Gull, you'll gi* me my cloke f 

Step. Sir, I bought it, and Tie- keep it. 

Down. You will. Step. I,thatlwill. 

Dow n . Officer, there's thy fee, arrcft him. 

Bray. Mafter Stephen, I muft arreft you. 

Step. Arrcft mcc ! I fcorne it. There, take your cloke,i'le none on 't . 

Down. Nay, that fhall not fcrve your turne, now, fir. Officer, Tie 
goc with thee, to the Juftices : bring him along. 

Step. Why , is not here your clokc ? what would you have ? ; 

DowN. l'le ha' you an/were it, fir. 

Br a. Sir,I'lc take your word 5 & this gentlemans,too: for his appearance- 

Down. Tie ha' no words taken. Bring him along. 

Bray. Sir, 1 may choofc, to doe that : I may take bayle. 
' Down. Tis true, you may take bayle, and choofc ; at another time: 
bur you fhall not, now, varlet. Bring him along, or lie fwingeyou. 
. Bray. ( Sir, I pitticthegcntlcmans cafe. Here's your money againe, 

Dow. 'Sdcynes, tell not me of my money, bring him away, Hay. 

Bray. I warrant you hce will goe with you ofhimfelfc,fir. 

Down. Yet more adoc ? 

Bray. I have made a fayr mafh on't. 

Step. Muft I goe ? 

Bray. I know no remedic, mafter Stephen. 

Down. Come along, afore me, here. I doe not love your hanging 
look behind. ^ b 

Step. Why,fir. I hope you cannot hang mee for it. Can he, fellow? 
Bray. I think not, fir. It is but a whipping matter, fure / 
Step. Why, then, let him doe his worft, I am refolute. 

AcT; v. Scene i, 

Clement, Kn o\v e l l, K i t e l y, Dame Kitely, 

Tib, Cash, Cob, Servants. 

Kf Ay, but fta ?> fta Y> S ive me leavc • m y chaire, firrah. You , matte* 
x Kno'wel, fay you went thither to meet your fonne. 
Kno. I, fir. 

Clem. Bur, who directed you, thither? 
Kno. That did mine owncman,fir. 
C i E M . Where is he > 

Kno. Nay, 1 know not, now; I left him with your dark • And-: 
appointed him, to ftayhcre for me. 

Clem. My dark ? about what time, was this ? 
Kno. Mary between one and two, as I take it. 

. . Clem. And, what time came my man with the falfe menage tovou 
matter Kit hi. y? . b ; ' 

Kite. After two, fin 

Clem y cr y good :bur, miftris Kitely, how chance thar you were 

at Loi;s ? ha? 

,nn'™ E ;, An ' P Ica <fyou» fi r, He tell you: my brother, Wei.-brep, 

told rac, that Cobs houfc. was a fufpected place - 

ULEM. So it appcarcs, me thinks: but, on. 



- -- — -^T~a •Jthit^ cr > daily. 

c •i^ e S»^ foasyoufu - pe 

;' r^Jhcr^j-- thociirc ., Whog avcvouknowW g c,of 

vour wives being tncre. , ^ ct Wei-brf.d. • 

>° KlTE . Maric.char ^^ tcUhcr? then tell you, after ? where , 


\\ - 

**£* -a ^u fitter fir I know not whither. 
Clem. W by, this is a nice e for this > 

Hi sint\ &?*■ 

^^^i^ettfsa^lci^n,^ court without, defires to Ipcake 

with your worfliip. • ; • 

C l e m . A gentlemn n ? what's he ? 

Sfr A fouldicr, fir, he fays. . , ... r . 

c£U Afouldier? take downemy armuor, my fword,quick y: afoul, 
diet foeake with me ! why, when knaves? come on, come on, hold ray cap 
tl e fo »*« me my gorget, my fword : (land by I will end your m* 

s anon-Let the fouldicr cntcrj no.v, fir, what ha. you to fay to mc> 




<±Aft v. Scene \u 

Bob a dill, Matt he w. 

X> Y your wor (hips favour • — : — > 

•*-> Ci em. r4ay, keep our, fir, I know not your pretence, you fe 
1 n\c word, nr, >ou area fouldicr : why, fir, you (hall bee anfwer'd, here, 
here be them have beene amongft fouldiers. Sir, your plcafure. 

Bo b . Faith, fir, fo ir is,this gentleman, and my felfe have becne moft 

uncivilly wrong'd,and bearen, by one DowNE-RiGHT,acourfc felIo*i 

about the towne, here, and for mine owne parr, I protcft, being a mania 

r.o forr given to this fill hie humour of quarrelling,hc hath afiaulted roc 

in the way of my peace-, difpoil'd me of mine honour; difarm'd mec of 

my weapons j and rudely, laid me along, in the open ftrects : when,! not 

fo much as once onvr a to refill: him. 

Ci 0, gods precious ! is this the fouldicr ? here, take my armour 

• oft quickly,'t.vill make him fwounc, I {'care- hce is not fit to looke on"r, 

thar will put up a blow. 

Mat . A',t pleale your worfliip, hec was bound to the peace. 
Clem. Why, and he were, fir,his hands were not bound, were they? 
^ek. rhcres one of the varlcts of the citie, fir, has brought two 
V icn, here 5 onc.upon your worthips warrant. 
^ ' My warrant ? 

• EB • X«,fir.Thc officer fay's, procur'd by thefc two 

Every Alan in bis Humour. 


Clem. Bid him, come in. Set by this picture. What, Ms Dovvne- 
right! aicyou brought at M r . Fresh-waters fute,hcrcl 

AB v. Scene 1 1 r 

D O W N E-R I G H T, S T E P H E N, B R A Y N E-W O R M E. 

J Faith, fir. And here's another brought at my fute. 
A Clem. What are you, fir? 

Step. A gentleman, fir ? 6, uncle >. 

Ci em. Uncle ? who ? maftcr Kno'well? 

Kno. I,fir! this is a wife kinfman of mine. 

Step. God's my witnelTe,uncle,I amwTong\lhere,monflroufly, hct 
charges me with Healing of his cloke, and would I might never ftirre if I 
did not find it in the ftrccr,by chance. 3 

Dow. O, did you find it now ? you faidyou bought it, ere-while. 
Step. And, you faid, I Mole it h nay, now my uncle is here, Tie doe 
well enough, with you. 

Clem. Well, let this breathe awhile- you, that have caufe to complain, 
there, (land forth : had you my warrant for this gcntlemans apprehenfion ? 
Bob. I an t pleafe your worftiip. 

Clem. Nay, doe not fpeake in paifion fo : where had you it ? 
Bob. Of your dark, fir. 

Clem. That's well ! an' my dark can make warrants, and my handnot 
at "hem ' Where is the warrant ? Officer, have you it ? 

Bray. No,fir,your vvorfhip's man, maftcr Formal, bid me doe ir, 
ferthefe gentlemen, and he would be mydifcharge. 

Clem. Why, maftcr Down-right, areyou fucha novice, to bee 
fcrv'd, and never fee the warrant? 

Dow. Sir. He did not fcrveit on me. 

Clem. No? How then? . " 

Dow. Mary, fir, hee came to mec, and faid, he mull ferve ir, and he 
Id ufc mee kindly ,\ and fo » ' ■■ i « r ,0 a 

To ti tm 


CLEM.O,godspitty,wasitfo,fir?hbjnullferveit?givemeemyIon2 He g W ilht S 
fword there, and help me offjfo. Come on, fir varlet, I mull cut offyour »«r km Lb 

legs, firrha: nay, ftand up, He ufe you kindly^ I mull cut offyour lc^s, I fay. '"' lin L f wtrtt - 
Bray. 0,good fir, I befcech you ; nay, good mailer Juftice? • 
Clem. I muft doe it 5 there is no remedy. I muft cut offyour Ie<rs 

firrha, I muft cut off your carcs,you' rafcall, 1 muft doe it ^, I muft cut off 

your nofe, I muft cutoff your head. 
Bray. O, good your -worfliip. 

way with him, to the jayle, lie teach you a trick, for your mtjt fir. 
Bray. Good, fir, 1 befcech you, be good to mcl 
Clf.m. Tell him he fhall to the jayle, away With him, I fay. 





B^^V^T V hi mv mvail, any grain of my fame certain, 
than this : 1 will not lofc, by my ^ BrayN _ worME I 
Clem. How is this! KNo. - ' ^'s bcene m th my eou(T cn 

Step- O yes, uncle. B*a y " 

"^ a " ^ >v» fome device! 
Ciem. i toM you aU, «t«^ fincelhave laidmyfelfe th«sopen tt 

Bray. N 3 J}, C S me both with your fivord, and your ballance. 

you; no>v,(bnd ^^1 "g^ I Give me a bovvle of fack : If t 
Ci£M.Bodyo^,amenym cc _ 

nin*. for your felfe : firft as^BiUYN-woRME ; after, as FiTz-swow. 
IwJ yourreform'd fouldier.fir. 'Twas I fent youto Cobs, upontk 

1*1 j 

too? fcit^fibic lor that thou (hould'ft difguife thy language fo, 

as I fhould not know thee ?, . 

Bray . O, fir this has been the day of my metamorphops ! It is not thr. 
ihapcalone,thatI have tunnethroueh,today. I brought this gentlerait 
M t .KiTELEY,a melTage too,in the forme of M r Juftices man,bcrc,to dm 
him out o'the way, as well as your worfhip : while matter Wel-b^ed 
might make a convciance of miftris Bridqet^o my yong mafter. 

Kit. How! my fifter ftolne away? 

Kno. My fonneis riot married, I hope! 

Bray. Faitbjfir, they areboth as furc as love, a prieft, and three thro 
fand pound ("which is her portion) can make 'hem : v and by this time arc 
readie to befpeake their wedding lupperat the wind-mill , except forre 
friend, here, prevent'hem, and invite hem home. 

^ Clem . M,aiie, that .will 1 (1 thank thee for putting me in mind on't.) 
Sinah,gocyou 3 and fetch 'hem hither, upon my warrant. Ncithers friends 
have caufc tote forrie,ifI know the yong couple, aright. Herejdriri 
tothcc,forthygoodneWes. Bur, I pray thee, what haft thou done wi 
my man Formall. 

Bra. Faith/ir,after fomc ccremonie paft,as making himdrunk,firft witl 

t ? r ?i? Wlth wme ( hut a11 in kindnelTe)and ftripping him to his (hi* 
1 left him m that coole vaine, departed/old your worthies warrant to theft 
two, pawn d his iiverie .for that varlets gownc,to fervcit in • and thus W 
brought myfclfe, by my aftivitie, to your worthies confideration. 
^ lem. Andl will confider thee, in another cup of fack. Here's to theft 

r^^v ,nk - 0f,til ?i sn,y fentenCe * Ple %^. Thou haftdone^ 
o' h niW tK" my i ud S ement > but defayes to be pardon'd for the rf 
?..r a u- • d ! y mafter > or an y m an, here, beangrie with thee, I A* 1 

ttv SKSjf? ^W^ 

r't $"> ltlsRoGE ris come home. 

faery Man in his Humour, 


del v. Scene 

Formal l. 


7$ thtm 

I was loth, to doe penance through the ftreet i ? mv fliirr 

Clem. Well, Hand by awhile. Who be thefe ? 6 thevnnn^ „ 


48 V. iSoTZt? V. 

Ed.KnoVei, Wel-bred, Bridget. 
E are the more bound to your humanities 
are no pan rf my ££ " ^ ^ f ° ** * ** h * hcm > «** 

my^rter, .Sffi? * ^ y ° Uforthis g^leman,hee belongs, to 
Clem. In what place, fir ? 

Gu£ A h pZnf< I fi H' M d0VV L hC ftaires > and in P"Wiek ; her^ f , fir. 
m/u Zl,%Puf eDSe ?' mn ?y rdfe > Fefcntly,ac wLyV 

■Mount up thy Pblegon mufe, and teftifie 

Hm Saturn e, /<% « ^ /^ , /w 
X> tfrob d hu podex white of i VO ne 

VVEL. Hee is not for ex tempore, fir Hpi»« all f«r*t,»^ i r 

pleafc you command a fight of it h ° P *"" 1 "^ 

WpT' Ym ^ fCarC 5 him u f ^ a taft ° f his Vcinc ' 

rebdUon' ^ ^ ^ the ^ encs J°^ ^ "ndera writ o' 

Vnto the loundlejje Ocean of thy face j * 

how ? &K8r" -- ^*»*** ^, ■ 

« feS!^ to make 

ry mine V C £^ ad °°J ^ nc u tak ? n " tl[Ilc ! S ^^ how our Poets glo- 

hi-heft &3tN 3n r bngh ^' ftil[it increafes •' *, D0 ^ » at the 
Kno ' ffi dcC,1[ ! e / s " M- You may fee. s* ^^/, ^W/. 
VM o . There s, an embleme for you, fonne, and your ftudics- ! 

G Clem. 

To Tbim 




s«?«S=',ssft";"S every man 

amongft you, I will c _ 

ill to tbe Major, out 

WKBWI-. ;-£ jjMtW m«c „,^-A«blcrs ! Tbey cannot 

ofhis were. Buc,thefe |ȣ P , icy h . lvc it with the fatf. 
eUW^Xv*l^»e the fabour of a defence 



M O 



and you to endeavour with your wit, to keepe hem io. 

Soulier , ana | j-- mi dnkht) while we are at iuppcr,you uvo iiuu 
hane'd out at my doorc tin miui ii 6 i / , . f j, ou n 

££** 6ft h out f^gffi or forget you /w^ 
there, that we may be fo . n »n «Mn & &faie m[ , m 

rSoS foVtttKfe We to your charge, f.r. 

£ rEr . ^a f«t n«u i doc ? bleated , why; frj 

ASP £ ^«| ^M^^r^ 

A trencher, and a napkin, you toall have 
d you to endeavour with 

Col Why! n^I fee thou art boneft, T,b, I receive thee as a, 

dcarc, and mortall wife, againc. •- . 

Tib. And, I you, as my loving,and obedient husband. 

Clem. Good complement! It will bee their bridate night too. Tbcj 
arc marricdancw.Come,I conjure thcreft 9 to put offaildifcontcnt.Yo^ 

M r . Down-right, your anger; you, mailer Kno well, your cares; 
matter Kitely, and his wife, their jcaloufie. 
For, I mutt tell you both , while that is fed, 
Homes i' the mind arc worle than o" the head. 

Kit e . Sir , thus they gpc from me-, kiffc me, Twcet-heim 

wing'd, with my clenfed, and my credulous breath \ 
watch 'hem, fufpiciaus eyes, watch, where the) fall. 
See, fee ! on beads, that thinly tMbaxe none at all ! 
O, what a plenteous world of t bis ,will come ! 
when ajre raynes homes, aH may befure of fome. 
I ha' learn'd fo much verfe out of a jealous mans parr, in 1 play. 

Ciem. Tis well, 'tis well! This night wee'll dedicate to friendM 
love, and laughter. Matter bridc-groome, take your bride, and lcadcj 
every one, a fellow. Here is my miftris. Brayn-worme 1 to whom $ 
my addreffes of courtflirp {hall have their reference. Whofc adventure 
this day, when our grand-children fliall heare to be made a fable I &$ 
not, but it fliall find both fpettators, and applaufe. 



A Comicall Satyre. 

Firft Acfled in the yeere I 5 9 o. By the then 

Lord C h a m b • r l A 1 n e his Servants: 

With the alio vance of the Matter 

of Rev ells. 

The Author B. I. 


O R. 

Noit alienameo prejii pede \ * fi proptusftes, 
Te capient magis j * & decies repetita placebunti 


Printed by R.ICHARD BlSHOP* 

M. DC. XL 







\ 1 







The Innes of Court. 



of you, to all time, as being bornt 
the fudges of thefe (Indies . Whet 
I wrote this Pocme, / bad friend 
(hip with divers in your focieties 

^hf antes it 

lejfe Examples of I 



-ommon/j the ayreoffuch things 
full to put it a fenant to their 



noble and u fe full fludies to the publicly For Jo 1/hallfuf 
fer for it : Hut, when the gowne and cap is of, andtht^ 
Lord of liber tie r eigne s ; then, to tafy it in your hands, 
perhaps may mal^efome "Bencher, tinned with hum ant tie, 
reade : and not repent bim->* 

By your true Honorer, 

Ben. Ionson. 

G 3 



The Names of the Adors. 

AS per, Tk Prcfontcr. 


j \V.iiti«S- Gc,,r ' 

Cauo Buffone. 

Fastid. Bkiske. 


D£HKO. cR* their Servant 


SordIdo. HisHindc 


Fun co so. ^Habcrdaflier. 


Shift.,' Rnjiici. 

^ A Groomc. 

Clove. ^Drawers. 


K. Officers. 




'Ml Til 

• The .principal! Comedians were 


Ric- Burba bge. 

Aug. Philips. 
Win. Site. 

Job. Hexing s, 

Hbm.Cohde t. 

Tho. Pope. 





As per his Character. 

I te, either to time, place, or opinion. 

•K Man well parted, a fuffcient Scboller, and travail'd ; who (wanting that 
place in the worlds account which he thinks his merit capable of) falls into 
furjj an envious apoplexie, with which his judgement is fe dazeled, and difla- 
peal, that he grows violently impatient of any oppojite ha; pinejje in another. 


A raine-glorious Knight, lifting his travels, and wholly confeer*- 
* ted to lingular ity . the very Jacobs pap of complement: a Sir, that hath 
trod to fee the revolution oftimein mojlofbifapparclI.Ofprefcnce oood enough 
but fo palpable ajfefiedto his own pra'tfc, that (for want of flatterers) he commends 
htmfelfe,to the jioutage of his own family. Hedeales upon returns, and prange 
performances, refolving (in defpight of public k deripon)topick to his own par- 
tic ularfajbion,phrafe, and ge fur a 

Carlo B.uffojSe 

A Publicl; fcurrilous,and prophane leper; that (mord fwifi than Circe) 
** t-witb abfurd fimile's will transforme anyperfon into deformity .A good feafl- 
bound^or banket-bcagell,that wit/fentjou out afupperfome three miles off and 
fwearetohis Patrons (Dim h\m)hecame in Oares,when he was but wafted 
ever in a Sculler. A /lave that hath an extraordinary gift in pleafing his pa- 

F a stid ius 


cares not what Ladies favour he belyes, or great MSns familiarity ; a good 
property to perfttme the boot of a coach . He will borrow another mans horfe to 
praife,and backs him as his own e. Or for a need, on foot can pop himfelfe 
xnto credit with his merchant, only with the gingle of his fpurre. and the 
jerke of his wand. 


J\ Go .°A do !\ n & $'.*!*&* w j } .° (M **. thought) might be of the common Conn. 



v , . Fall ace. 

CUros wtfe^and^ I doll: a, proud mincing Peat^ and of perverfe js be is 

Courtier, at her husband doth 

officious. Shee dotes as pcrfeflly upon the C 
her, and only wants the face to be difljonefl. 



, ff hoCe reereition, is reading V AlnuneeA 
...I Mitm. fate »">»" \ ,.« I 


n ■ nri««M bnrin to Sordidojetfo enamour d of thereof* 


- j / - a *» t/t it jjfwr w.if Souldter. yet hues upon lent 

A r } p'^ " ? H'* «>- V m "»> " 7/ rr ** 

w>«-/»«/« Pift-hatch. '«« «r i * j ' , j into (mt-itott bonds, lh 

Wt sr Uitmitd-inhU ektmter for rent, mi vieiutUs, Hee IS of m 
ZlrlelTdlm mm»h <>»' '« »" /«'»* 0W ^ '" f "V"* 

„/,, irf rrife**, **«<* be never did, only to get bm ■> ■*»•.*»'¥ 
«<«/)* *», «*»* ;fc ***«#, /?»<>«£ *, ,nd mt-Ung fu., 

fetrcbes fit Importers, 

Clove, and Orange. ■. 

KN infeforable cafe of Coxcombs, City-borne 5 T/;« Gemini or Twt»i<! 
Ar.,,,,,.,. ,i,,, /;£,.- «-*V»of wia/itle* fales. are fit for nothing-, but to it 


f of insufficiency) will inforce their //• 
ww^i^ k^w.^, .- ,~ „ f „.. .fee undemanding of any thing. Orarf 
sf /fo wore humorous of the two (n»fcop fma// portion of juyce being [qtrtW 
out) Clove /<r>"U« to flick him, with commendations, 


#* Authors friend - ? A man inly acquainted with the fc ope and W' 
of his Plot : Of a difcreet i and undemanding judgement j and bfi 1 * 
• of a Moderator. 

Is aferfon of no aBion, and therefore me have reafon to afford him * 
1 Charter. ' „ 





<zAfar thefecond Sounding. 



. Ay, ray dearc A s p e r, 
Mjt. Stay your mind. 

Asp. Away. 
Who is fo patient of this impious world, 
That he can check his fpirit, or rcine his tongue ?' 
Or who hath fuch a dead unfeeling fenle, 
That heavens horrid thunders cannot wake ? 

To fee the earth , crackt with the weight of fmne, 

Hell gaping under us, and o're our heads 

Black rav'nous ruine, with her fayl-ftretcht wings, 

Rcadic to finke us downe,and cover us. 

Who can behold fuch prodigies as thefe, 

And have his lips feal'd up ? not I : my foule 

Was never ground into fuch oyly colours, 

To flatter vice and daube iniquitie : 

But (with an armed, and refolvcd hand ) 

He ftrip the ragged follies of the time, 

Naked, as at their birth : (Cor. Be not too bold. 
Asp. You trouble me) and with a whip of ftcel, 

Print wounding ladies in their yron ribs. 

I fearc no mood ftampt in a private brow, 

When I am plcas'd t'unmask a publicke vice. 

I fearc no ftrumpcts drags, nor ruffians ftab, 

Should I detect their hatefull luxuries ; 

No brokers, ufurers, or lawyers gripe, 

Were I difpos'd to fay, they're all corrupt. 

I feare no Courtiers frowne, fliould I applaud 

The eafie flexure of his fupple hammes. 

Tut, thefc are fo innate, and popular, 

That drunken euftome would not ihame to laugh 





k 1 

— — : t,- m rhor nTouiJ "° r t!arc to taxc 

ln fcoroe) at him, ttar fhou i^ fafa ^ 
Vnd vcr, not one *tfc £*■ ^ ^ M 

rnowes What damnation is w . 



. i «-rTi<> orow wnkc in (nine, 

Yet, hourely they pcriitt, & r ° v V. • 
* -' : r^.uc -jivav in pcrjrous aire, 


^M^SStewiBSS*^^ rtOC IikcVOUr 
^ IT * £^Sfe,whofe faces arc all zeale, 

Puffing the 
To clcri 

rc r loulcs away 

ilh their cxrorrion, pride or k ft, 




ffifiXt^**"""* invade 
K^* rhefc ! that mil not fmcll of 



But fecmc as they svere nude of Sandine 

Religion in their garments, and their banc _ 

Cuc'hiorrcr than their cye-browes! when the conscience 

Is vafter than the Ocean, and devourcs 

More wretches thin the < eunttrs. Mir. Gentle Asper, 

Containe your fpirit in more drifter bounds, 

And be not thus tranfported with the violence 

Of your ftrong thoughts. Co r. Unlefle your breath had power 

To melt the world, and mould it new againe, 

It is in vainc to fpend it in the(e mooJs. 

Asp. I not obferv'd this thronged round till now. 
Gratious and kind fpectators, you arc welcome, 
Apollo, and rhe Muses fcaft your eyes 
With gracefullobje&s, and m»y our Minerva 
Anfwere your hopes, unto their largcft ftraine. 

Yet here, miftike me no , juiicious friends. 

I doe nut this, tobegge your patience, 

Or fervilely to fawne on your applaufc-j 

Like fome drie brainc, deipairiie in his merit. 

Let me be cenfur'd by th'auftcrcft brow, 

Where I want art, or judgement, taxc me freely: 

Let envious cenfors, with their broadeft eyes, 

Look through and through me, I putfuc no- favour, 

Oncly vouchfafe me your attentions, 

And I will give you Mufick worth your earcs. 

O, how I hate the monftroufnefle of time 

Where every fervile imitating fbirir, 

(Plagu'd with an itching leprode of wit) 

In a meere halting Airy, ftrives to fling 

His ule'rous body in the Tbefpian fprincr, 

And ftreight leaps forth a Poet! but asW 

As Vulcan, or the founder of Crippk-va:e 

Yn„ T; ..k In f airh , this Humour will come ill to 
You willbe tl.oughc to be too peremprorie. 

asp. This Humour? good ; and why this Hnm,,. t< 
Nay doe not turne, but anW Mrt! HSS* 1 ? 
I 22a- r ml r not ftirrc -your patience, pardon ' 
Toli 1 !/? f ° me rcafons ^"u the rather 

^^taOcoftheirabufe of* this word F 


•vord Humour. 


tyery Man out of bis Humour. 

** — -* t» - - < 

Cor. Oj doe not let your purpofe fall, good Asperj 

It cannot but arrive mod acceptable, 

Chiefly to fuch, as have the happineffe, 

Daily to fee how the poore innocent word 

Is rackt, and tortur'd. Mit. I, J pray you proccede. 

Asp. Ha ? whir ? what ist I Cor. For the abufc of Humour' 
Asp. O, I crave pardon, I had loft my thoughts. 

Why, Humour (as 'tis ens) we thus define it y 

To be a qualitic of ayre, or water, 

And in it fclfc holds thefe two properties, 

Moiflurc, and fluxure: As, for demon fixation, 

Powrc water on this floorc, 'twill wet and runne: 

Likewife the ayre (fore'e through a home, or trumpet) 

Flowcs inftantly away, and leaves behind 

A kind of dew- and hence we doc conclude, 

That whatfoe're hath fluxure, and humiditie, 

As wanting power to containe it felfe, 

Is Humour. So in every humane body, 

The chollcr, melancholy, flegmc, and blood; 

By reafon that they flow continually 

In fome one parr, and are not continent, 

Receive the name of Humours. Now thus farr.> 
It may , by Metdpbore, apply it fclfc . . 
Unto the general! difpoution ; 
As when fome one peculiar qualitic 
Doth fo pofleffc a man, that it doth' draw* 
AH his affects, his fpirirs, and . his powers, 
In their connections, all to runne one war, 
This may be truly faid to be a Humour. 
But that a rookc by wearing a pyed ftathcr, 
The cable hat-band, or the three-pad" ruffe, 
A yard of lhoo-tye, or the Smtzers knot 
On his French garters,, fhould affect a Humour! 
O, it is more than mod ridiculous. 

Cor. He fpcakes pure truth now, if an Idiot 
Have- but an apifh, or phantaftick ftraine 
It is his Humour. Asp. Well, I will fcourgc thafc apes. 
And to thefe courteous eyes oppofe.a mirrour, 
As large as is the ftage, whereon we aft: 
W here they (hall fee the times deformitie 
Anatomizd m every nerve , and finew, 

■ W " h COnft ant courage, and contempt of feai'e 

Mit. Asper, (I urge itas your friend) takcheccT I ! 
The dayes are dangeroul, full of exception, ' 

YoVi m- n » T Sr °^ c SW** of rc P roofe * Asp. Ha, hi i 

You m,gl lt as svdl have told me, yound'is heaven. ? 
This earth thefe men, and all badraov'd alike. 
LfoQ not I know the times condition? 



V « * ' ' *"*• «-*'«V.J V.WUU1UUI1." 

Thai 522?! a n thdr fouIps > and wh0 thc X h *t 
inai cither will or can except 'sainftmey ' 



~E^iM^~oi<t of bis Humour. 

Make my brainc fruitful! ro bring forth more objects, 
Worthy their ferious^nd incentive eyes. 
But why enforce I this ? as fainting? No. 
If any, here, chance to behold himleiie, 
let him not dare to challenge me of wrong, 
For, if he flume to have his follies knowne, 
Firil he mould fhame to aft 'hem : my ftritt hand 
Was made to feize on vice, and with a gripe 
Squeeze out the humour of fuch fpongie natures, 
As lick up every idle vanitie. 

Cord. Why, this is right Furor Poeticwl 
Kind gentlemen, we hope your patience 
Will yet conceive the beft, or entertaine 
This iuppofition, that a mad-man fpeakes. 

Asp. What? arc you readie there? Mitis, fit downe: 
And my Cordatus. Sound hough, and begin. 
I leave you two as cenfors to fit here : 
Obfervc what I prefent, and liberally 
Speak your opinions, upon every Scent, 
As it (hall paffe the view of thefe Spectators. 
Nay, now, y'are tedious Sirs, for (name begin. 
And, Mitis, note me, if in all this front, 
You can efpy a gallant of this marke, 
Who ( to be thought one of rhe judicious) 
iits w^h his armes thus wreath'd, his hat pufd here , 

vX s ™ e3VV > and nods > thcn <k*« his empty head, 
Will (hew more feverall motions in his face 

lhan the new London, Rome, or Niniveh ' 

wk\T and thcn)breaks * drie bifquet-jefh 
Which that it may more eafily be chevv'd, 

He Keeps in his owne laughter. Cor. Whv> will A, 
Make it be fooner fwallowed? Asp. O, aiTuUvou 
Or if it did not, yet as Horace fines, ! y ° U * 

IWnw raroflomacb* vulgarutemntt 

Meane cates are welcome rtiU to hungry guefts 



A^ make "hem fit for if ire &ck£7- ~ 
How monftrous, and dctefted is'r to fee 

By cry Man out of bis Humour. 

In fnufte, ft ill fpitting, ufing his wryed lookes 
(In nature of a vice) to wreft, and turnc 
The good afoctt of thofe that fiiall fit necre him. 
From what they doe behold ! O 'tis mod vile. 
Mi/r. Nay, AspEr. 

Asp. Peace, Mitis, I doe know your thought. 
Youie fay, your guefhherc will except at this: 
m h you arc too timerous, and full of doubt. 
Then, he, a patient, fliall reject all phyfick, 
Caulc the Phyficion tells him, you arc fick • 
Or, if I fay, That he is vicious , 
You will not heare of vcrtue. Come y are fond. 
Shall I be fo extravagant to thi nk^ 
That happy judgements, and compofed fpirits, 
Will challenge mc for taxing fuch as thefe > 
I am amam'd. Cord. Nay, but good pardon us: 
Wee rauft not bcare this, peremptorie "faile, 
But ufc our beft endeavours how to plcafe. 

Asp. Why, therein I commend your carcfull thoughts, 
And I will rnixc with you in induftrie S ? 

To pleafe, but whom ? attentive auditors, 
Such as will joyne their profit with their' pie afore, 
And come to feed their .undemanding parts: 
For thefe Ijc prodigally fpend my..fcife, 
And (peak away myfprrit into ayro-i 
For thefe He melt m y braine:inco invention, 
Coyne new conceits,and hang mvi.richcft: words 
As poller jewels in their bounUL-eares 

f U , ?" y ?. \ Jod \ m y./ e ^> and wrdDg'rhcirpatienccc 
If I dwell here, they ie not begin^ce: • 

Friends fit you ft£ an d entcrtaWkhis troup* 
With fome familiar and by-con ference, 
lie balk- them found. Now gentlemen, I go e 
To turnc an a&or, and a Humorift, 
Where (ere I doe refume my prefent perfon) 
We hope to make the circles of your eves 
Flow with diftilled laughter : if we faile 
We rauft impute it to this only chance' 

yht hath an emmy cal'd Ignorance. 

C OK j) How doe you Like his Ipirir, M,tis > 

Mrr. I mould like it much better iFheuvrVrV C j 

Con,, Why, ^SSSSSSS^S^B 


.- ' 

KxU Jfftr 

rail expectation, I know nor. ' V * mU anfvVCrC thc g cr «- 




ob ^c 3 li rlie I«vcs oi Corned ink? 

in compafle of a dayes bufincifc 

^?f j%*thS"^Tgf« f-ur, or it cannot 

too nice obfcrvations; 

bC Co h KD ntl Tro.l>, I can Jifccrncno fuch neceffity. 

beene del 


. No, 1 aflurc you, Signior." If thofc taw you fpcik of, had 
^-^vwv.ivcrcd us.abihino, and in their prefent virtue and perfection, 
there bad becne fome rcafon of obeying their powers : but Tis extant, thap 
that which we call Coma-Ma, was at fir It nothing but afimplc and conti- 
nued Song, fung by one only perfon,till invented! a fecond, 
after him Epicharmus a third •, PHORMus,arid Chiontdes devifed 
to have fourc Actors, with a Prologue and cira; to which Crati- 

Vo i»* appeared abfolute,.ahd fully perfe&cd ) yet how is the face of it 
chang'd (ince, in Menasder^ Bhilumon-, GeciuuSv Pr.Aiuus, 
and the reft ; who have utterly excluded the chorus 3 altered the property 
of the perfons, their names, and natures, and augmented it with all liber- 
ty, according to the elegancy and difpofition of thofe times, therein they 
wrote ? I fee not then, but we jpy the fame licence, or frcepowcr 
to illuftrate and heighten our. inyefliion as they did; and not be tycdro 
thofe ftrict and regular formes, wljjch tbcnicenefft of a few (who arc no- 
thing but forme ) would thru ft upon" us. 
Mix. Well, we will nocdilpure of this now: but what's his Scene $ 

Cor. Marry ylnfuUForiunata-jSit. 

Mit. 0,the fortunate.Iiand ? raaffc,hce has bound himfelfe to a ftrifl 
law there. *«n« 


Cor. Why, fo? 

Mit. Hccannotli g htlyalc C ribc6-« w , w ithoutcroffin«TthcSea« 
Cor. He needs nor, having a whole Hand to runnc through fctMnV 

Mit. No? how comes it then, that in fome one PWefrlr^ 
^s,countrye S>a ndkingdomes, pi ftt)verwith fuchadm f ^ 
Cor. O, that but meweshow wdUhc l ^~' bk ^^mc> 

vocation, and iout-mnne the apprehenfion of their auditory 
rZ' T^L ^ Ve anfvvcrcd your wiili Sir : thev found 

can travaile in their 

But leaving 

e to fowre the 

hfr ** y- **££ OTST 1 ' iitt,e 

had ftay. 


he third founding* 



. Prol. Mary,vvitli a ilmyhcart 5 Sir,youftialldoeityer,andlthanke 

Cord. Nay, nay, ftay, ftay, heare you ? 

. 2° L i Y °r U C ? UW "2 hdVe * udkd ' to hft ' donc m * #Sfe benefit 
at the inftant for I proteft to you , I ifo unr*rfctt , and (ha3 I faftg if) I 

muft of ncceffitie have becne out. ; ] . 

Cord. YVhy,batdoeyoufpeak this ferioufly > 

Proi Serioufly 1 1 (wit s my hcl lv loc I ) and efteemc t&M in-- 
debrcd to your kmdneflc for it. >-j<i ] 

Cord. Tor what? 

Prol. Why, for undertaking the Prologue for nice. 

o q 

but 'twill not ferve. 

P,T ' *3!K3& bl i C k ""I* fe and thcreforc P* yourProlooue, 
Pro l. And I doc,lct me die poifon-'d-Vith fome vencmou^ S^d 

never tiveto bokeas high as the two-pennic roome ^inc? — ' 

. Mit. He has put you to it, fir. D 

fnSt™ ^' h f c a ^"^rous fclloyv is this? Gentlemen, good faith lean 
fp ake : no Prologue, however his weak wit has had thelbrtunc o m'kc 
this ftrong ufe of mcc, here before you : but I proteft 

CAR.^o ElIFJ-OttE. 




He eaters will> 

i^I1rhmi,K^k' r *"'"? roIogllc I 1 ' r y ona ,acK " D uts fnOuth : thev mi<xht 
well think hce d be out of tunc,*nd yet you'ld play upon him too' 
Cord. Hang him dull block. y ujjou mm too. 

C.ATJT H rt «r,.l ]_ I . .. '■ . 




Man out of 



. r Th^cTmcomofthc Humour hcc has put? 

„trfh*Hm**r> ^^f^^sUc\\ivc. Gentiles , all Kflii 
in, lie nua none ot nis l "°c h ldwiflmvbottlc i lcrcamonc[ft 

yfothim^ouaj«w^e. ^ ^. Marry , if any hc ^ 

Jw f,,h if the time will differ his defection, He give ityou. He 
isone ^ AurlWcals him Carlo BuFFONF,an impudent common j c . 
icr," violent raylcr,and an incomprchcnfible Effort fob company 
isdcfirdofall men,butbelov'dof nonc > be will fooncrlofc his foule than 
a ;en\and profane even the moft holy things, to excite laughter : no honou. 
rable or reverend pcrfonage whatfoever, can come within the reach of his 
eyc,but isturn'd into all manner of variety, by his adult'ratc pmtlc s. I 

Mi t . you paint forth a monftcr. 

Cqr. He will prefer all Countries before his native, and thinks he can 
never fuftic>icntly,or with admiration enough, deliver his affc&ionarc con- 
ceit of forrcn Atheifticall policies : but ftay Obfctvc thefe, hcc'ieap. 

peare himfelfe anon. 
Mir. O, this is your envious man (M Agilent e) I tbinke. 

CoR. The fame, fir. 

Adt i. Scene i. 


Vlri efi, fortun& ctcitaterii fdcil'e ferre. 
"Tis true, bur, Stoicke, where (in the vaft world) 
Doth that man breathe, that can Co much command 
His bloud, and his affection ? well ; I fee, 
I tffa-ive in vainc to cure my wounded foule • 
For every cordiall that my thoughts apply, 
Turnes to a corr'five, and doth cate it fardcr. 
There is no tafte in this Pbilofophie, 
'Tis like a potion that a man flioulddrinke, 
But tumes his ftomack with the fight of it . • 
I am no fuch pild Clique, to belccvc 
That beggery is the onely happinefle j 
Or (with a number of thefe patient foolcs) 

lo fmg: Mj mind to me a kmgdome if 

W hen the lanke hungry belly batkes for food. 

Inrn mvh C?S ' ^^ ftrike "V MowUhot eyes 
& **** <**** this man is great, ' 

And"w g V" C; '? d lcarncd: ^fourth, rich, 
bCtcforc ****'.. » fifth, rarely fcatur'd 



Every Man out of bis Humour, 


A fixth, admir'd for his nuptiall fortunes : 
When I fee thefe (I fay) and view my felfc; 
I wifh the organs of my fight were crackt; 
And that the engine of my griefe could caft 
Mine eyc-bals, like two globes of wildc-firc, forth, 
To melt this unproportion'd frame of nature. 
Oh, they arc thoughts that have transflxt my heart. 
And often (i* the ftrength of apprehenfion) 
Made my cold paflion ftand upon my face, 
Like drops of dew on a ftiffe cake of yce. 

C R E X. 
CoR. This alludes well to that of the Poet, 

Invidus fufyirat, gemit, incutitqut denies^ 
Sudat frigidus^ imttens quod odit. 

Mit. O, peace you break the Scene, 

Maci. Soft, who be thefe? 
lie lay me downe a while till they be paft. 

G R E X. 


Sgnior, note this gallant, I pray you. 

What is hec? 

A tame Rooke, you'l take himprefently 

zJB i. Scene n. 



S O G L I A R D O, C A R L O,' B U F F O N E, M A C I L E N T E." 

VT Ayj lookc you Curio : this is my Humour now ! I have land and 
"*- ^ money, my friends left me well, and I will be a gentleman whatfo- 
ever it coft me. 

Car. A moft gentleman-like rcfolution. 

Sog. Tut, and 1 take an humour of a thing once, I am like your Tay- 
lors needle, I goe through: but, for my name, Signior, how think you? 
will it not fcrvc for a gentlcmans name, when tie Signior is put to it? ha? 

Car. Let me heare: how is't? 

Sog. Signior Infulfo Soglurdo: me thinks it founds well. 

C ar . O excellent ! tut, and all fitted to your name, you might very 
well ftand for a gentleman: I know many Sogliardos gentlemen. 

So g . Why, and for my svealth I might be a Juftice of Peace. 

Car. I, and a Conftable for your wit. 

Sog. All this is my Lordfhip you fee here, and thole Farmes you 
came by. 

C ar . Good fteps to gentility too, marry : but Sogliardo, if you arfc# 
to be a gentleman indeed, youmuft obferve all the rare qualires, hu- 
mours, and complements of a gentleman. 

Sog. I know it, Signior, and if you plcafe to inftruft, I am not too 
good to lcarnc, lie afliire you. 

Car. Enough fir : He maks admirable ufe i'thc proje<5tionof my me- 
dicine upon this lump of copper here. He bethink me, for you fir- 

H \ Soc 





frcry Aian out of bhjlnmou^ 

S^7 Si^IwiUbothpayyo^nd pray you, and thank you, aBi 
think on you. 

Houfes, and lordlhips ? 1 could care my mtrailcs, 
And finke my foulc into the earth with forrow. 

Car. Firft (tobeanaccompUflrtgentlcmm, that is, a gentleman of 
the rime) you muft give orehoufe-kcepinginthe countrcy,and Uveal- 
toother in the Citic amongft gallants ^ where, at your firft appearance, 
'twere good you turn'd fouie or five hundred acres of yourbeft land into 
two or three trunkesofappareil (you may doe irwirhout going to a Con- 
jurer) and be fure, you mixe voir felfe dill, with fuch as flourifh in the 
fpring of the faiTiio"n,and arc leaft popular-ftudic their carriagc,and beta 
viour in all; lcarnc to play at Primero and Pajjage, and(evcr when you loff) 
ha'two or three peculiar oathes to fwearcby, that no maneife fweares: 
but above all, proteft in your play, andamrme,«/'o/2;'o//r credit- Asyi 
are a true gentleman (at every caft) you may doe it with a fafe confciencc, 
I warrant you . 

Sog. O admirable rarelhee cannot ebufebutbee a gentleman, that 
ha'sthefe excellent gifts: more, more, I befcech you. 

Car. You muft endeavour to fcede cleanly at your Ordinary, fit me- 
lancholy, and pick your teeth when you cannot fpeake : and when you 
come to Play es,be humorous, looke with a good ftarch't face, and rahHj 
your brow like a new boor, laugh at nothing but your own jefts, or elfcjs 
rhe Noblemen laugh. That's a fpeciall grace you muft obfervc. 

Sog. J warrant you, fir. 

Car. 1^ and fit o'the ftage, and flout : provided, you have a good fuir. 

Sog. 0, 1 le have a fuite only for that, fir. 

Car. You muft talke much of your kindred, and allies. 

Soc i Lies' no Signior, 1 (hall not needto doe fo, I have k indred i'tlie 
a U- totalke 0f:lhavea nccceisa Merchants wife s and a nephew, mr 
brother Sordido sfonnc,ofthe Innes of Court. c P»c«,n«J 

ftill) breaks if up 

of your aww < ^ «^5^aSS3 

colours, « ffl&£f S&T' n ! f he ' lad to ™ J** sBta* 

^rSzS^r^^ thu hot •* 

huery Man out of his humour. 

occafionof fending one of my fuirs to the Taylors to have the pocket 
repaired, or fo; and there fuch a letter, as you talke of (broke open and 
all ) (hall be left : O, the Taylor will prefently give out whar I am , upon 
the reading of ir, worth rwentic of your Gallants. 

Car. But then you muft put on an extreme face of difcontcntment 
at your mans negligence. 

Sog. O, fo 1 will, arid beat him too: He have a man for the purpofc. 

Maci. You may ; you have land and crownes: Oparriall fate.' 

Carl. Mafic well remembred, you muft keep your men gallant, at 
the firft, fine pyed liveries, laid with good gold lacc,there's no loflc in it, 
they may rip'roffandpawnc it, when they hckevicmalls. 

Sog. By'r Ladic,that is chargeable Signior, 'twill bring a man in debt. 

Car. Debt? why, that's the more for your credit fir: it's an excellent 
policic to owe much in tbefe dayes, if you note it. 

Sog. As how good Signior? 1 would fame be a Politician. 

Car. Oi look where you are indebted any great fumme, your cre- 
ditor obferves you with no lefle regard, than" if he were bound to you for 
fome huge benefit, and will quake to give you the leaft caufe of offence, 
left he lofe his money. I allure you ( in thefe rimes ) no man has his fer- 
vant more obfequious and plyanr, than gentlemen their credkours: to 
whom (if at any time) you pay but a moitiejor a fourth part, it comes 
more acccptcdly, than if you gave 'hem a new-yecres gift. 

Sog. I perceive you, fir: I will rake up,and bring my felfe in credit fure. 

Car. Marry tbis,alwaies beware you commerce not with bankrupts, 
or poore ncedic Ludgatbum: they are impudent creatures, turbulent fpi- 
rits, they care not what violent Tragedies they ftiire, nor how they play 
faft and ioofc with a poore gentlemans fortunes, to get their owne. Marry, 
thefe rich fellowcs (that ha' the world, or the better part of it, llceping in 
their counting lioufcs)rhey are ten times morciplacable,thcy ; either feare 
hope, or modcfty,reftraincs them from offering any outrages : bur this is 
nothing to yOur followers, you fhall not run a pennie more in arrerage for 
them, an' you lift your felfe. 
Sog. No ? how fhould I keep 'hemthen ? 

I will rake 

Car. Kccpe'hem? let them kcepe themfclves, they arc no (heepe, 
arc rhcy ? What ? you fhall come in houfes, where plate, apparell, jew- 
els, and divers other prettic commodities lie negligently fcattered, and 
I would ha' thofe Mercuries follow rriee ( I trow ) fhould remember they 
had not their fingers for nothing. 

Sog. That's not fo good, me thinks. 

Car. Why, after you have kept hem a fortnight, or ^o^ and fhew'd 
hem ynough to the world, you may turne 'hem away r and keep no more 
but a boy, it's ynough. 

Sog. Nay, my humour is not for boyes, Ik keep men, and I keep a- 
ny; and life give coats, that's my humour: but I lack a cullifen. 

Car. Why, now you ride to the Citie,you may buy one, He bring 
you where you fhall ha' your choife for money. 

Sog. Can you fir? 

Car. o, I: you fhail have one rake mcafurc of you, an" make you a 
Coat ofarmes, to fit you of what falhion you will. 

Sog. By word of mouth, I thank you, figniof ; He bee once a litrlc 









; jZwrTndhavca moft prodigious coat. 

odig.ll in a humour, if a it i, , a hw j an j buine at oncc> 

u i *-t Torment ana cicaiu * v . 

s he not? 

Such buli-rulhcs ; thcfc muftirompc gentlem* 

?£r XSot up in a night to place, and worfliip. 
r\{ Let him alone, fomc ftray, fomc ftray. t 
S!r ' Nav, I will examine him before I goe, furc. 
Or' The Lord of the foile has all wefts, and Grays here ? ha' 

Car* Paith then I pitty the poor fcilow,he's falnc into a fools hands. 
Sog ! Sirrah, who gave you commiflion to lye in my lordihip i 

Maci. Your lordihip ? 

Soc. How ? my lordihip ? doe you know me, fir? 

Maci. 1 doe know you, fir. 

Car. Hcanfwcrs him like an eccbo. 

Sog. Why, who am I, fir ? 

Maci. One of thofe that fortune favours. 

Car. The Feripbrafis of a foolcjlle obfervc this better. 

Sog. That fortune favours ? how meane you that, friend? 

Ma c. I meane fimply. That you are one that lives not by your wits. 

Sog. By my wits ? No fir, I fcornc to live by my wits, I . I have bet- 
ter mcanes,l tell thee, than to take fuch bafe courfes, as to live by my wits. 
What, doeft thou thinkc I live by my wits ? 

Maci. Me thinks, Jefter y you fliould notrelliih this well. 

Car. Ha ? docs he know me ? 

Maci. Though yours be the worft ufea man can put his wit to, of 
thoufinds, to proftitutc it at every taverne and ordinary • yet ( luce 
thinks) you (hould have turn'd your broad fide at this, and have beene 
ready with an 4f.oUg /enable to finke this hulke of ignorance into thebot 
tome, and depth Of his contempt. 

Car. Oh ! 'tis Macilente! Signior, you are well encountred, 
how istl O, we mutt nor regard what hefayes man, a trout a (hallow 
foolc, he ha's no more braine than a butter-fly, a meere (tuft fuir, he looks 
like a muftic bottle, new wickard, his head's the corkc, light, light. I am 
glad to fee you fo well return'd, Signior. ° b 

Maci. You are? Gramercic, good Janus. 
Sog. Is he one of your acquaintance ? I lo 

Car. Gods 

ve him the better for that . 


vrih i-™ i/ Pf c ? l0Us > come away man, what doe you meane ! 
^oc^wJJ^fir >y am] ^ 3S y ° U ' ld doc thc P la S uc ^ 

so A o ■ i? hhi i ^ ack felIow ' take hced ° n him - 

r* ^ ? e , aSch oHcr,oraSouldicT? 

Every Man out of his Humour. 

tits like powder, quick, violent : hee'le blow a man uTwTthTieFrfr^ 
l vvorfe than a rotten wall do's the cannon, (hake anhn,,^ ftL **?? 

ni » u*c puwucr, quiw, violent : hce Ie blow a man up with a ieft • T fr^ 
him worfe than a rotten wall do's the cannon, (hake anhoure afe a ?£ 
report. Away, come not neere him. *•««*, «tne 

Sog. For Gods fake let's begone, an'hc bcaScholIer, you know I 

S^!^ V*'" 1 ***" Cockatrice, fpccjy^l 

Cit ie, we (hall meet there P U N T A R v ° ^ , and from thence to the 

'Tuft ?£Jt W r e n \ C *™ 0t ftun ^ we "M meet. 
Tis ftrange .' of all the creatures I have fcene 

I envie not this B u F F o n, for indeed i 
Neither his fortunes nor his parts defervc it : 
But I doe hate him, as I hate the devill 
Orthat bralTe-vifjg'd monfter Barbarifmc. 
O tis an open-throated, black-mouth'd cu'rre ' 
That bites at all, but eats on thofe that feed him 
A flave, that to your face will ( ferpent like ) * 
Creep on the ground as hee would eat the dud - 
And to your hack wrfl turne the taile, and (W 
More deadly than a fcorpion : Stay, who's this? 
Now for my foule another minion 
Of the old Lady Chance's ; He obferve him; 

t 4 



M j. Scene 1 1 1 


m/s&f t' * 00d > g ° 0d ' e° 0d f I *-* *> *m I than* 

I know him, tis Sordido, the farmer, 
Sop°nV n r ° ther t0 thac Cwinc "* hie. 

And makes him fwoune with laughter, 6, 6 6 ' 

™ij,and S2 '&£%?££ £$ O good, good I * 
«v,, xxvij, xxviii, wind jnd fam7^F t*v J°?L' riUK > % ood m '■ 

inclining to rained, hi™sn fo"^^^ ^ inclining to r.ine : 
raine: no rainc ? -Slid ft ,1 °, ■ ■ g0 °r ""T* XX,C > and xxx i> ""'^"nJ no 
^*«, ^ turne back S c B - ' S T^" A * ore! l * h " %" *» °f Saint 

w, ncres a precious durty damned rogue. 






Of.ou..nvc ; ucV R Ut! 

£3 ri ch for £»tt222U«-»*w4i 

en crack wi* "ore • ' 1)0ufCi 

So :u>. l ;trc ;>-^'' inoft ' part raine : Why, it rtiouM Mine torty da, C! 

' Mrt "^ g i or left! "« a «S hcW, afore. I was *U- » hold a 

n ire*' 


fee how 


ff&SK Ufc3S3i (urc: # tenth, and eleventh, great. fto„ 

fo, rtccnth daves raine; good ftill : fifteenth, and fixtccnth, rainc ; good 

tel, good ftill, goodfidl, good ftill, good ft.ll good ftill ! one ari 
rwcntiab, fbmcratac; Come nine ? well, wc muft be patient, and attend 

the hcav 
two and 

and lightning. 
O good 2gainc,paft expectation goocU ., 

1 thank myblefTed angell ; nevct, never 

Laid I penny better out, tbanrhis, • 

To purchafe this deateboOke ! not dearc for price, 

And yet of mec as dearly pri/.'d as life, . 

Since in it, is contain d the very life, 

BIouJ, ftrcngrh, aad fincwes of my happineflc. 

Bleft : bc the hourc, wherein I "bought this booke, . ,j 

His ftudies happic, tfcat compos'd thebookc. 

And the man fortunate, that Told the booke. 

,ens plcafurc, would it were more though : the one and twentieth, 
1 twentieth, three and,twcntieth 4 great tempefts of nine, thunder. 



tmwith & fi- 


Sleep with this charme, an^be..astruc tomce, 
As I am joy'd, andconfident "mthec. 

Maci. Ha,ha,ba> Vnot.tbisgooxi 1st not plea ftig this? 
Ha, ha, ha! God pardon mce! ha, ha! 
Is't pofllblethat fucha.ipacious villaine 
Should live, and not be plagu'd^ or lyes he hid 
Within thewrincklcdtofomeof the world, 
Where heaven cannot fee him? why, ( me thinks ) 
Tis rare, and ftrangc, that he. fhould breathe,, and walke, 
Feed with difgeftion, fleep, enjoy his health, 
And . (Jike a boift'rous Whale, (wallowing the poore) 

- V " v " ■• J>1 "- ««u'n>4 nuw, cne nectic 

Gour leprofie, or fome fuch loath'd difcafe 

» hght upouhim , or that fitc ( from heaven) 

F,£ , u- Up0fl Ms barQcS 5 f ,r A and rats 

^atcuphis grainc s or clfethat it might tot 

Every Man out. of his Humour. 


Within the hoarie reekes, c*nc as it (lands: 
Me thinks this might be well; and after all 
The dcvill might come and fetch him. I, 'tis true! 
Meanc time he furfets in profperitie, 
And thou (in envie of him) gnaw' ft thy fcl(e y 
Peace, foole , get hence, and tell thy vexed fpirir, 
" Wealth in this age will fcarccly Iooke on merit. 
Sord. Who brought this fame, firrha? 

Hinh. Marry, fir, one of the Jufticcs men, he faies'tisa precept an. I 
all their hands be at it : • 

Sord. I, and the .prints of .them ftick in my flefk 
Deeper than i'their letters : They have Tent mc 
Pils wrapt in paper here, that; fhould I rake 'hem, I 
Would poyfon all the (Wcetncfle of my booke, 
And turnc my honey into hemlock juyetf. 
But I am wifcr than to ferve their precepts, 
Or follow their prefcriptions. 'Here's a device, 
To charge mc bring my grainc unto the markets: 
I, much, when I have neither barnc nor garner, 
Nor earth to hide it in, He bring it; till then. 
Each come I fend (hall be as big as Paula. 
O, but (fay ibmc) the poore are iikc to ftarve. 
Why let 'hern ftarvc , what's that to mc ? are bees 
Bound to kecpe life in drones, and idle moths ? no: 
Why fuch are thefe (that terme themfelvcs the poore, 
Only becaufe they would be pitticdj . ■ ' ■ 

But are indeed a fore of lazie beggers) - 
Liccncious rogues, and fturdic vagabonds, 
Bred (by the floth of a fat plenteous yeere) 
Like wakes in heat of fummcr, out ofdungr, 
And this is all that thefe chcapc times arc~good fot : « 

Whereas a wholfome, and penurious dearth 
Purges the foile of fuch vile excrements, 
And kils the vipers up. Hine. O but mafter, 
Take heed they heare you not. Sord. Why fo? 
» HiNB. They will exclaimc againft you. Sord. I, their exclaimes 
Move me as much, as thy breath moves a mounrazne? 
Poore wormes, they hilTe at me, whilft I at home 
Can be contented to applaud my fclfc, 
To fit and clap my hands, and laugh, and leape, 
Knocking my head againft my roofe, with joy 
To fee how pjump my bags are, and my barncs. 
Sirrah, goc, nie you home, and bid your fellowes, 
Get all their flailcs ready, again I come. Hine. I will, fir.- 

bORp. Tic mftantly fet all my hines to thrafliina 
Ot a whole reckc of corne, which I will hide & 

V i a i 1C ground ' and with che ' ftraw thereof 
I e ftuffc the out-fides of my oihcr movves : 

That done, I'lc have 'hem emptic all my garners, 
And i the friendly earth bury my ftore, 





Aire f.*»nr. and that my tortus / 

AllVfpcnt, and that my fc.— ■ 

And , Jo lend more Oj^^ffi 


T«3 yecld me treble game, at this deare ime, 
Promise in this deare booke : I have craft all. 
Tm then I mil not fell an care, lie hang firft. 
O I rtull make my prizes as I lift, 
My Iioufe and I can feed on pcafe, and barley ; 
YVhat though a world of wretches ftarve the while ? 
* He that will thrive, mult thinke no courfes vile. 

Every Man out of his Humour. 

Mit. You have fatisficd me, fir^O, here comes the Poole and fhc 
Teller, againc, mc thinks. 

Cor. 'Twcre piety they 'fhould be parted, fir. 
Mi r . What brfeht-ftiininsi callanc's that with i 

went to ? 

them? the knight iky 

Cor. No, fir, this isoneMonficurFAsTtnius Br.iske, otherwifc 
cal'd the frefh Frcnchefied courtier. 
Mit. A humorift too ? 

Cor. As humorous as quick-filvcr, doc but obferve hirrt, the Stent 
is the country ftill, remember. 

Act j i. Scene i 



■ * 


Cor. Now, S ignior, how approve you this ? have the Humorifts «• 
pft themfelves tmlv or no ? 

have beer* 

Fa st. Brisks,, C arlo 'BurF'Q^c,, watch when the knight comes, anil give us worth 
Cine. I will, fir. 
* Fast. How lik'ftrliou my boy, Cari.O? 
• Car. O, well, well. He looks like a colonell of the figmief horfo 
or one of thefe motions, in a great antique clock .- he would tliew well up- 
on a habbcrdamers ftall, at. a corner fhop 3 rarely. \ ' 

\ y 5*T/. ^ Vhat a damn ' d wilt y ague's this? how he confounds with 

Ins (imtlesf ^ 

.Car.. Better with jimik'-s, than. fmiles: and whither were you riding 
row, Sigmor ? . _ 

illC IU1UN3, iviAi-ii-ciN i a went nv_iiv_l. i\j\j ivjuwi, ir.b uii^iii. iiavcuCTuC 

made to (lay, and fpeakc fomewhat in rcproofe of Sordido's wrack- 
edncife, now at the laft. 

Cor. 0,no, thathad beeneextreamely improper; bcfiues,he had co* 
tinucd the Scene too long with him,as't was, being in no more a&ion. 

Mit. You may enforce the length, as a ncceflary reafon ; but for pn> 
priery, the Scene would very well have borne it, in my judgement .„ A - vv , T , riI . n , ■ -<■■ — « 

Cor. O, worn; of both : why,you miftskc his Humour utterly then j V , °' l ? ■ c a ^ J ofl **tot ? whither fhould' I <tidc y but to 

Mit. How? doe I mifakc it? is t not; envie? ^?? r» ] , 

_ Cor. yes,butyoumuftunderirand, Signior, he envies him not ask 
is a villanc, a wolfe i the commonwealth, but as he is rich, and fortunate; 
for the oue condition of ^ 

continually fixtupon another mans profperitie, that is, hfc chjefc fap 
ncflc, andtognaeatrhat. Whereas if we make his montooaid* 

^nfflTT ^^! 61,1 ^^ 6 ^ thc »)comcs nearer^** 
loathio^ 2K? r bCing bfCd ° Ut ° f 2 kkd ° f *«* "* 

bend [he £ff ^ *g ^ ^ ^ ^ * ^ W 

Car. O pardon mc, iir, rwcr. ^places otore: yourfaotfhoufc,- or 
yourwhore-houfc- , --. 


s°K; anldi«7ri V i S r T!V trU u ely cnvics in anotbcr > ^ couM i! ' 

Sow as thcrenot intheo he u ,C a f ° r . his Cnvic in So ^DiDo ; his *M 
? naojlodious, and ficnd-likc dil^ p0{ f cft of r ° onc^mincne gifr, h 
^o hatcmuc , morc envie fortt lt 7 n ' Chat would turnc charity it <* 


F,\st. By the virme of ray foule,- this knight dwells in £&/*»; here. 

Car. Hcesgone now, I thought he would flie out prefenrly, The'fe 
be our mmblc-fpiritcd Caijo's, that ha' their evafionsat pkafrc, will run 
o\ era bog like your wild Irijh : no fooner ftartcd, but they le leapc from 
one thing to another, like a fquirrell, heigh : dance 1 and doe-tricks i "their 
djlcourfc, frorafirc to ;vuier, from water toaire, from aire to carrh,as if 
their tongues did but' e'cnelickc the foure elements over, and'awrty. 

Fast. Sirrha, Carlo, thou never faw'ft my srey-hobbie vci 

Car. No: ha' you fuch a one? 
fcc F ft him ThC bt ' ft * n £i "° l '' J ( m g ° 0d ViIhilli: } lhOU ' k { ^ whcn - thoU 

CA^^^^^n^air.chim^ . . 

i .^Y; T \ Tncrc ^s a noble man I'ihe courcor}ercd mc ido'hotmJ for 
mrn '.bythisl isht: a fine little fiery Have, lie runs like a (ol^cscdlenr, 
excellent 1 with the very found of the fpurrc. 

CAR, How ? the found of the -fpurrc > 
• Fast, o, it's your only hiKnow now extant. f ( r : a soo& gin»Ie, a 

I Car. 




Car You toll fee hS turnc*niorris-danccr , lie has got him beli Sj 

will not be given for a brace ofangcJIs. ^^^^^^^^^™ 
Fast. How is that, fir? 
Soo Marry, fir, I am telling this gentleman of a hobby-horfc, it*.:s 

my fathers indeed, and ( though I fay it 

C a k . That mould not fay it I on , on 

Sog. He did dance in it, with as good humour, and as good regard, 
as any man of his degree wbatfoevcr, being no gentleman : V have dane'e 

in it my felfe too. 

Car. Not fincc the humour of gentilitic was upon you? did you? 

Sog. Yes, once; marry, that was but to mew what a gentleman 
might doe, in a humour. 

Car. O, very good. 


Mit. Why, this fellowes difcourfe were nothing, but for the word 

Cor. O , bearc with him, an he mould lack matter, and words too 
^twerc pittifull. ' 

Sog. Nay, look you, fir, there's ne're a gentleman t' the countrev 
ha s the like humours, for the hobby-horfe, as 1 have ; I have the meth 
for the thrccding of the needle and all, the 

Car. How, the method? 

Sog. I^eleigaitie for that* and thewigh-hie, and thedagRcrs in the 
nofe, and the travclls of the egec from finger to fincrer ill H^h ,n^ 
indent to the qualicy The htfe tengs * vS*3$ £& ftS 
it for a monument, as long as I live, furc P 

hang^'e^u^X*" ****** ^ S **$* «&*, » 
g*S; ""*' ^ 17C hiVC 3 t0mbc(r ° W * think on ' c > * buffo muck 
ife 2fc. bUM ! " ^ UfC Hme tb ™> V- >** may hlppe M 

Ca C ; m y, r m ? nC f0 ' Ilc n<3t «*» to them 
Car. No, for hcircs and exc-urnr, ,™ , 

facially, fincc the ghofts of SSSSWSS^ t™"®? «*><* 
Signior I lators lc " *al6ng : hoiv like v™, l,i,„. 


another garbe,.anothermeafe, I k L S ' V f niakcs "* " ? """ ftf 

Soc. Signior CarIq. 

makes me clcancot 
ic mce to 


^ r 9 avoid pojniliritie, falls into 



■ ^ ^ 

• habit of affectation, ten thoufand times hatcfullcr than the former. 

Car. Who, hec? a gull, a foole, no fait in him i'chc earth,. man: he 
looks like a frcfti falmon kept in a tub, hee'le be fpent fhortly . His brim's 
lighter than his feather already, and his tongue more fubjeft to lye, than 
that's to wag: he flccpes with a musk-cat every night, and walkcs all day 
hang'd in pomander chains forpennance: he has his skin tan'd in civet, to 
make his complexion ftrong, and the fwcetnclTe of his youth laQin^r , n 
the fenfe of his fwectlady: a good emptie puffe, he loves you well, fignior. 
So g . There (hall be no love loft, fir, I'lc allure you. 
Fast. Nay, Carlo, I am not happy i'thy love, I fee: pry thee funer 
me to enjoy thy company a little (fweet mifchiefe) by this ayre, I mall en- 
vy this gentlcmans place in thy affections, if you be thus private, ifaith. 
How now ? is the knight arriv'd? 


Cin. No, fir,but'tis guefthe will arrive prefently, by his fore-runners. 

Fast. His hounds! by Minerva an excellent figure; a good boy! 

Car. You ihould give him a french crowne for it : the boy would 
finde two better figutes i'thar, and a good figujeof your bountic be fide. 

Fast. Tut, the boy wants no crowncs. 

Car. No crowne : fpeak i'the Angular number, and wce'ie beleev^you. 

Fast. Nay, thou art fo capricioufly conceited now. Sirra (damnvion) 
I have heard this knight Puntarvoi o, reported to be a Gentleman of 
exceeding good humour; thou know'ft him": pry thee, how is his difpo- 
fition ? I ne're was fo favour'd of my fhrres, as to fee him yet.. Boy, doc 
you looke to the hobbie ? 

Cin. I, fir, the Groomehasfct him up. 


7 , . Ti * vvc11 ■ 1 rid ouc of m y wa Y of intent to vifit him, and tak* 
knowledge of his -Nay, good mckedncjje, his humour, his humour. 

C . A *: . W 7> he loves d °ggs, and hawks, and his .vife, well : hce has a 
good riding face, and he can fit a great horfc ; he will tainca ftaffc well at 
tilt : when he is mounted, he lookes like the figne of the Gurp, that's all I 
know; five, that in ftcad of a dragon, he will brandifti againft a.rtee,and 
brcake his fword as confidently upon the knottie batke n as the other did 
upon the skalcs of the beaft. 

Fast. O, but this is nothing to that's deliver d of him. They fay he 
bas dialogucs,anddifcourfes between his horfe, himfclfc, and his doitf: 
and that he will court his own Lady, as (hec were a ftrawrcr never encoun- 
ter d before. ° 

Car. 1, that he will, and make frefh love to her every morn in *.- this 
Oentleman has becne a fpedator of it, Signior I»fulfo.. - 
Sog. I am rcfoiute to keep a page: fay you fir ? 

Car. You have feene Sfonier Pu/ztarzolo accoft his Ladv > 
■ Sog. O, I fir. • /- 

He f UHi front 
tociro . 

trumpt-no found, and then the waiting acntlewoman, the looks out, and 
tnen he fpeaks, and then fcee fpeaks-vcrv pretty ifaith, gentlemen.- 
i« a s t . Why, but doc you remember no particulars,' Sign ior ? 

I 3 Soo 

» ■ 


~&Zj~M*n wtofbji •Himotvr 


voirnn, (hce Iookcs out at the winfon 
So c . u, yes « : Bujg- ^ s 7 umroon Vl a patfc ? not be fore > 

SOg. Saesh€,ba,ha } l'M^^. 

f ^^S'V^fifc^TGodfivc you, faicshe: ha,ha,Scc. 
8?* SS& $ motiJto all rhispaflion? 

Q« ; D«&cfl£ be apprehends more than he utters, this fellow** clfc. 
VC* Lift lift they are come from hunting: ftand by, dole under 
d£m and you (hall fie it done, better than I can fhew it. 
Car. So it had need/twill fcarcc poue the obfcryation elfc. 
Sog. Faith,! remember ail, but the manner of it is quite out of 

"Vast .' O, with-draw, wurvdraw> it cannot be but a moft pleating obj 



tfi n 

•>#?n. Scene, n, 


EOrrefter, give windc to thy borne. Eppug,hjby this the found M 
r toucht the eares of the inclofed : Impart, leave the doggc.and take 
with thee what thou haft defervd, the homcqnd thanks. 
Car. I, rnarry, there's Come tafte in this; 

Fast. Is't not good? 

Sog. Ali, peace, now above, now above I 

_-. fc Punt. Stay : mine cychat&(on the inftant ) through the bount Led 

$SE? the window, rece n'd the forme of a Njmph,. I will fejp forward tbtcep 
ccs :.of the which, I will barely retire one -, and ( after fome little flcsw 
ifthe knee ) with m ere&e4 grace fajgtc- herfone, two, and three. )Swec 

Tht jrsr/ai/o- 


lauy, ooa lave you, 
Ctm . No, forfooth .; lam but the waiting gentlewoman. 
Q a* . Ht tagro that be fq, rp A 
Putfx. Pajdorj -nte ; w www* 4 *w? v 

Car. He learn'dthat of his chaplairie. ' . 

Puwf , To ilmpcrfeaiofi of complement (which is the Diall of ite 
thouglit^ndgm^by the Synncofyourbeauties^rereciuir-d thcietbrcc 
fpccialls : the gWWii the puatjiio's, and rfegiWgff #9 thc.fuper[icief y \i tltf 
we call, place; tnepwtf7/Vj,circumftance 5 and the ^owo« 5 ceremony:^ 
other ofwhicbxfor a ftraiigcccocrre/tis.caficand fj'ciksand fucb am'l- 

Car. True, not knowing her bmw> be muft needs erre : which* 
feare, hce knowes too well. 

Punt. What call you ibe lord of rbc caftle > fw^r ilCc 

Gent The lord of the caftle is a knight, fir; Signior Pu a : , ,-«l ■ 

Punt. Puntar y o i o ? 0. 

Carl. Now muft hce ruminate. 

Fast. Does die wench know him all this while, then » 

Sb^^ffi?^"^ 0M,is ° ;v, *> * thing ftudved, 


Sogl. I, e'ene like your jig;ge, fir. 

Punt. Tisamoftfumptuousand (lately edifice! of what vearw ,'c 
the Knight, faircdamfeli? . 7 cs ,s 

Gent. Faith, much about your yearcs, fir. 
Punt. What complexion, or wh at fhturc beares he? 
Gent. Of your ftature, arid very neerc upon your Complexion 
Punt. Mine ismclancholy. ?' 

Carl. Sois the doggs, juft. . 

Punt. And doth argue co'nftancie, chiefly in love. What are his en- 
dowments ? Is he courrebds ? 

Gent. O, the molt courteous Knight in Chriftian land, fir. 
Punt. Is he magnanimous? 
Gent. As the skin betwceUe your brows , fir. 
Punt. Is he bountifull? 

CARL.'Slud, he takes an inventory of hisowne good parts • 
Gent. Bountifull ? I fi r , I u-ould you (hOuId know it :• rhe poore are 
rcr\'dathisgate,early,andlatc,fir. K^reare 

Punt. Is he learned >■ ' . j ■ 

Gent. O, I fir, he can fpcake the Irtnth'ScA Italian; 


Punt. Then he istravail'd? 

Gent. I, forfooth, he hath beene.bcyond-feas, once, or twice.- 

Carl. Ajfaras?4w,tofctchbvcfafa(hioMndcomebackakaine'' ' 
Punt. Is he religious ? . ^ s 

Gent. Religious ? I know nOt what you call religious, but hee goes 
to Church, I am fu re. 6 

Fast. S'lid, me thinks, tbefc anhVers- fhould offend him; 

Carl. Tur, no ; hce knowes they are excellent, and to her capecitie 
that ipeakes hem. r~ j 

Punt. Would I might fee his face. 

C ari Shee Ihould let downe a glafie from rhe windovv at that word 
andrequelthimtolookmr. 3 

c ^Y-.^^theGentfcfhan ismoftexaa, and abfoiutely quali- 
fied? doth the caftle containc him? ! 7 l 

Gent. No, fir, he is from home,buthis Lady is within 

Pun r . His : Lady ? what, is fhee faire ? fplendidious ? and amiable ? 

Gent. O, Lord, fir! 

r/ UN r T u S&jF* dcarC ^^"trcat her beauties to fhine-on this 
fide of the building. 

Carl That hee may erea a new dyall of complement, with hi*-™*- e«-*«*« 
wo«5,and his yuntiltos. & titwi/uin,. 

J&M* k N r ay ' rI i° U 2rt fbch an ° t,lcr 9^4*? n ° vv ' a man had necd ^valke 
uprightly before thee. 

\n%t KL ' "^""anynanwalke more upright than he does? Looke, 

dnLV'Jl t hcc J cn V" J frame » ? r hacl a f « tc of wanefeor on .-and the 
dogge watching rum, left he fhould leape out bn'r. 

Fast. O, villaine! u. . 

I Jc pawne him m Eaft-cheapc, among the butchers tfft, I • 
Fast. Peace, who be thefe, Carlo? 

I 2 "M. 





Xt. :>$• 



Kctttrnd tbovt 

*#o TPitb-dr.xro 
}a:hc other [vt 




. & A ' . doe your duty to him, fonnc. 
Onder's yo^ d d t f noorc elder brother of mine, fir, a yeoman, 
Sog. This, «r K . hundred a yeerc : that's his fonnc, 
may difpend Cotac fewen or « D 

my nephew, there. ^ nei hbour So rdi do, though I hav c 

nofye"tfaid, 'ell'corne : what, my god-fonne is grovvne a great F o^, 

by SoRD. I hopehewiUgrowgreatoncday 5 fir. 

Fast. What does he (ludie? the law? 

Sog I fir, he is a gentleman, though his father be but a yeoman. | 

Car*. What call you your nephew, iignior ? 

Sog. Matry,hisnameisFuNGOSO. 

Car Fungoso ? 0,he lookt fomwhat like a fpunge in that pinch 

yellow doublet, rae thought : well, make much of him 5 I fee hewn 
never borne to ride upon a moile. 

Gent. My lady will come prefently, fir. 

Sog. O, now, now. .... ... 

Punt. Standby, retire your felves a fpace : nay, pray you, forget no: 
the ufe of your hat j the aire is piercing. 

Fast. What? will not their prcfencc prevaile againft the current oi 

his humour? • „ r - 

Car. 0, no : it s a meere floud, a torrent, carries all afore it. 

what more than heavenly pulchritude it this I 
what magazine^ or treajurie ofblijfe $ 
Daile, )ou organs to my optique fenfe, 
To "j ha 1 a creature of fuch eminence : 
} I am planet-ftrook, and t'n yond fpbere, 
A brighter fiarre than Venus doth >#ppe*re\ 

Fast. How? invcrfe! 

Car. Anextafie,anextafie,man. 

L ad y . Is your defirc to fpeeak with me , fir knight ? 

Car. He will tell you that anon ; neither his braine, nor his bodf, 
are yet moulded for an a n fwere. 

Punt. Molt debonaire, and luculcnt lady, I decline mee low, as tl: 
bafts of your altitude. 


Cor. He makes congicstohis wife in geometricall proportions- 

Mit. 1st poffible there fhould be any fuch Humorift ? 

Cor. Very eafily poffible, Sir, you fee there is. 

Punt. 1 have fcarcc colle&ed my fpirits, but lately fcatter'd in the*J 

miration of your forme ; to which ( if the bounties of your minde be # 

way refponfible ) 1 doubt not, but my defircs {hall find a fmooth, and i^ 

cure pahage. I am a poore knight errant ( lady ) that hunting in the aOj 

ecnt forrcft, was by adventure in the purfuit of a hart, brought to t\ 

Place j which hart Cdeare Madame ) efcaped by enchantment: the *? 


Envy Man out of his Humour. 


Sbti dcpir;i > 


ir.'jvi Sordi- 
do and ijis r $n. 

ning approaching (my felfe, and fervant wearied )my fuit is, to enter vow 
Dire caftle,ancl refrefh m'c. 7 

Lady. Sirknighr, albeit it be not ufuall wit lime (chiefly in theabfence 
of a husband) to admit any entrance to Grangers, yet in 'the true regard 
of thofe iunatcd venuqs^nd faire parts, which fo ftrive to cxpreffc them 
felves, in you ; I am rcfolv'd to entcrtainc you to the beftofmy unworthv 
power .-which I acknowledge to bee nothing, valew'd with what fo wo- 
thyaperfonmay deferve.. Pleafe you bur. ftay,whilel defcend 

Punt. Moft admir'd lady, you aftoniOi me! 

Carl. What ? with fpeaking a fpeech of your owne pcnmV ? 

Fast. Nay, looke ; pr'y thee peace. D 

Carl. Pox on't : I am impatient of fuch foppery. 
Fast. O, let's heare the reft. . 

Carl. What? a tedious chapter of court fhip, after fir Lancelot 

and Queen Gui:V£NHR?3way.ImarI'einwhatdullcoldnookehefound 
this lady out? that (being a woman) (he was bleft with no more conic 
of wit, but to fcrvc his humour thus. 'Slud,I think he feeds her with 
porridge. I : fhee could ne're have fuch a thick braine elfc. 

Sogl. Why, is porridge fo hurtfull, Signior? 

Carl . O, nothing under heaven more prejudicial! to thofe afcendine 
fubrilepowers, ordoth fooner abate that which wccal!,^,,,^;// 
than your groffc fare: why, l'Jc make you an inftance': your city wives' 
but obferve hem, you ha not more perfect true fooles i' the world bred' 
than they are generally ; and yet you fee (by the fineneffe and delicacy of 
their diet, diving into the fat capons, drinking your rich wines, feeding 
on larkes, fparrows, potato-pics, and fuch goodunduous meats ) how 
their wits are. refind, and rarefi'd! and fome times a very quinteflemeof 
conceit flowes from 'hem, able todrownea weak apprehenfion. 

Fast. Peace, here comes the lady. 

Lady. Gods me, here's company : turneinagaine. 

Fast. S lighr,our prcfencc has cut off the convoy of the ieft *«i-v— ««, 

ous eZtwk St^ ' l ^ ° n ' C : u f ° r thc !* ' "*» ^ P^Pfcu- SS £&. 
ous. Come, let s difcover, and falutc the knight. F 

Punt. Stay : who be thefe that addrelTc themfelves towards us ? what- c f rh * Mit '' e 
CAKi.o?now by the fincerityof my fouIe,wclco unwelcome gentlemen! gST '* 
and how doeft thou, thou grand fcourge 5 or, fecond untr u £ eo [ the S 
A C * RL \ Faitb > pending rny mettall, in this reeling world (here and 
there) as the fway of my afeaion carries me,and perhaps ftumble upSn 
a yeomanpheuterer,asI doc now 5 or one of Fortunes moiles, laden with 

^e^danempty cloke-bagge following him^ping^Se 
^i^T^^ P€aCe:VVh2C b ^^f^o is that 

K«S A ^ 1, ¥ a r yj fir ' ° nc ' thatI muft intr "t yon to take a verv ner 

SSjSSSt of> and vvich more than orLary r ^ ; K - 

here^nd mnih^^^ 1 ^^ ^ your vouchfa ft abiding 
ill andrW. ? te 1 rtainmenr , ^is my houfe ftood on the Mutt? 

hill ; and thefe rny orchards were thofe of the Hesperidc's. ] 

*AST. ipoffeuc as much in your wilh 5 fir, as if I v^erc made-lordof 



Lid, with ber 
ft" l Ai -funded, 

1-nry Man out of bi t Humour^ 

SSiSS^^ tothinkc **»* 

corruruJ. ^r rie bring you acciuaintc d [with gentlemen, atf 
i r'n L*** fhill doc you more grace, than . 

■g 55DiBS&« J Scb ^ uaintancc " 

"JSf ^^Sfej^ttK <k K» w ant of education, fir, fomevhat 
nodding to™ boorc, the clowne : but I requeft you in private, fir. 
Func.BjI beaveflj its avcry fine fute of clothes! 

G R E X. 

Cor. Doc you obfervc that. Signior ? there's another humour fos 

new crack? the (hell. - 
Mit. What ? he is cnamour'd of the fafliion, is he ? 

Cok. O, you foreftall the jcit. 
Fung. I made what it might Hand him in ! 
Soc Nephew? 

Tun. 'Fore mee it's an excellent fute , and as neatly becomes him, 
What faid you, uncle? 
Sog. When faw you my neece? 

Fu.v. Marry, yefter-night I fupt there. That kind of boot docs very 
rare too .' 

Sog. And what newes hcare you ? 

Fun. The gu ilt fpurrc and all 1 would I were hang d, but 'tis exceed- 
ing good. Say you,. uncle? 

Soc. Your mind is carried away with fomewhat elie : I aske \vk 
newes you hcare? 

Fun. Trorh, we hcare none. In good faith,I was never Co pleas'd wii 
a hihion,daics ofmy life! O (an I might have but my wimH'Jd aske iff 
more of go J cow but fuch a fute, fuch a hat, fuch a band, fuch a doublet 
fuch a hole, fuch a boor, and fuch a 

Sog. They fay there's a new Motion of the city of Ninwek with 
JoNA S ,and the whale, tobefcene at Fleet-bridg ? you can tell,coufin ? 

ZtZSTf *? h f tf? b0 ° tS ' har ' and bnd •• Tome ten eleven 
pound would doe it all, and fuicmc, 'fore the heavens 

Fuv' r!i P f -rf ]1 *f e ^«W' I come to London once. 

ao G . \\ hat fayes my Nephew ? 7 

my fateint 2& ^ W ^ ? GU tG havc ,nadc a motion for mc to 
SL herS ^ *fr - ;va k lkc , al ' dc and I'te tell you 5 fir, no more but 
licin ana c £ ? fI ^ <?<** twenty pundsvvorth) that 
for fo rae P tweivrnolT ' than halfc the mo ^ they coft , and I W 
WfctfsPiE^ dj 0r l ^ cnt y ^ke, 1 could goe neere torcdecn* 

S O^a^M^ ST 00 ? 8 ' and Wherbert, f 

Man out ofh 

Sog . That I will : when wouldyoa have mc doe it ? prefently ? 

Fun. O, I, I pray you, good uncle t God fend mc good luck > Lord 
(an't be thy will) itfofpcr it : O my ftarrcs, now, now, if it take now I 
am made for ever. 

Fast. Shalll tdlyou, fir?bythisayrc,Iamthcmo(tbcholdino;rothat 
lord, of any gentleman living; hec does ufe nice the moft honorably, and 

with the greateft refpeft, more indeed, than can be uttex'd with any opini- 
on of truth. 

Punt. Then, have you the count G rati at o ? 

Fast. As true nook a gentleman too, as any breathes- lam exceed- 
ingly endear'd to his love j by this hand (I protcftto you, fignior, I fpeake 
it not glorioufly, nor out of affectation, but) there's ncc^ard the count 
Frugalk, fignior IllusTre, fignior Luculento, and a fort of 'hem 
that (when I am at courr) they doe (bare mc amongft 'hem. Happy is he' 
can enjoy me mod private. 1 'doe vrifti my felfc fomctime an ubiquitarie 
for their love, in good faith. 

Carl. There's ne're a one of thefe,but might lie a wcekc on the rack 
'■ere they could bring forth his name 5 and yet he powres them out as fami- 
liarly, as if he had fecne 'hem ftand by the fire i* the prefencc , or ta'nc ta- 
bacco with them, over the (tage,i'the lords roome. 

Punt. Then you rauft of necefllty know our court- ftarrc there? that 
planet of wit, M addon a Saviolina? 

Fast. 0,lordfir!my fniftris, 01 1 

Punt. Is fhee your miftris ? . ./ , 

Fast. Faith, herd beiforac flight fa vours of hers, fir, that. doc fpeake 
it, free «■ .- astbis fcarfe/m, or th is ribband in mine earej or Co ; this fea rhc-r 
grew in her fweetfannefometimes., though now k be my poorc fortunes 
to wcare it, as you fee, fir;.- flight, fligllc, h foolifli toyi 

•Punt. Well, flie is the lady of ampft exalrcd,and ingenious fpirir. 

Fast. Did you evcp-heareany wprnan fpeake iifce her?; or inrichc 
with a more plentifull difcourfe? | - ' ) a rn 

Carl. O, villanous ! nothing bur found, found, a mccre eceho^ frice 
fpeakesas flie goes tird,mcob-wcblaWne,lighr,thin: good.cnou«hto 
carch flies w'irhall. ! 

Punt. O, mannage your affections. 

Fast. Well, if thou beeft not plagdd for this blafphemie, one day— : 
-Punt. Carrie, regard rioc a jefter: it -is in the power of my.putfe, to 
make him fpeake weltjWlillvof me. 

Fas. 5ir;,Tamrme it TO'/you (upon rriy credit^ and judgement) flic has 
the mod harmonious, and muficall ftraincof wit, rbac ever tchipted a true 
^ ; m yet lb fee, a Tucfc tongue W&uKl.prdfane heaven, if it could. 

Punt. I am not ignorant of ir, fir. 


., -hence fhec 

ISLO50 iccuriry. 

S >rd. VVcll,if ten pound will fetch 'htm, you flui! hive ir, but I'le 
part with no more. Fung, 




h ;, ry Min out of Ins Humour. 

Sord. Poc fo : W™ ( d ftu dic to get forty (hillings mor c n0lv ! 

1 ;1 sdi Yes> r i£ into the fa(hion,as larre as this will goe prcfently, 
lljvvillpurmyrcleinotn^^ the Almamck f a i es wee (houid hai 


fore of wine today. j wiU aflociate you to court my fclf c . 

Pun t . W hy, fir, to n» & ^^ a jcdfc j have> x ^ ^ 

^S^M 1 " fUrC ' haSheard ° fir ' 

P U A nm X " JdoeTn'tendthis ^arcoC /«Wf, coaming on.totraviilc.-aa! 
f bS'l will not altogether goe upon exoence) I am determined ,o pu: 
ibr h fome five thou&nd pound, to be paic\ me five for one, upon the re- 

fucccflefull, why, there will oe nveana ovouv luvunuu pu") *~ "w 
taine timewithall. Nay, goe not neighbour Sord id o, toy to night, aoj 
hclpc to make our focietie the fuller. Gentlemen, frohek: Carlo? 

what ? dull now ? , _ . . 

Carl. 1 was thinking on your project, fir, an you call it to : is this 

the dog goes with you I 

Punt. This is the dog , fir. 

Carl. He do' not goe bare-foot, does he t 

Punt. Away, you traitor, away. 

Carl. Nay, afore go d,l fpeak fimply $ he may prick his foot with; 
thorne,and be as the whole venture is worth. Betides, for a do: 
that never travaifd before, its a huge journey to ConjUntinople .-l'lets 
you now ( an he were mine) lid have fome prefent conference with; 
Phyficion, what antidotes were good to give niro, prefervatives agairf 
poyfon : for (.allure you) if once your money be out, there'll be diverse 
tempts made a gain ft the life ofthepoorc animal. 

Pont. Thou art ftill dangerous. 

Past. Is Signior Deliro's wife your kinfman? 

Sogl. I, fir, (hec is my nccce, my brothers daughter here, andmj 
Nephews fiftcr. 

Sort>. Doe you "know her, fir? 

Fast. O God,fir, Signior Deliro, her husband, is mymarchanr. 

Fung. I, I have feenc this gentleman there, often. 

F a s t . I cry you mercy, fir : let me crave -your name, prav you . 

Fung. Fungoso, fir. I 

bmnYi G °° d ^^ Fu N G ° s ° > l &*& «q«eft to knowyoa 

Fung, lam her brother, fir. 
Fast. In fairc time, fir. 
Punt. Come gentlemen, I will be your conduct. 
WV v ay, rn°. UjfiriW , c(llaUlncetatSi g n iorDELiRo's oft* 
fo a?l VT^nl ^ racat ^*^< office,^, for fome .weeke* 



Every Man out of his Humour, 


C R E X. 

Mit. Me thinks, CoIidatus ,hc dwelt fomewhattoo long on this 
Scene- it hung i' the hand. 

C o R . I fee not where he could have infilled Icfle, and V have mad<* 
the humours perfpicuous enough. 

Mit. True,ashisfubject lies: but he might have altered the (hape 
of his argument, and explicated 'hem better in fingle Scenes. 

C o r. That had becne fingle indeed ! why ? be thcy°not the fame pcr- 
lons in this, as they would havebcene in thofc ? and is it not an object of 
more (late, to beho Id the Scene full, and relicv'd with variety of fpeakers 
to the end, than to fee a va ft empty fhge,andthc actors come in (one by 
one) as if they weredropt downe with a feather, into the eye of the 
fpc&arors ? 

Mit. Nay, you are better traded with thefc things than I, and 
therefore Tie fubferibe to your judgement j marry, you (hail give met 
leave to make objections. 

Cor. O, what clfe ? it's the fpeciall intent of the author, you fhould 
doc fo : for thereby others (that are prefent) may as well be fatisficd,who 
happily would object the fame you doe. 

Mit So, fir: but when appearesMAciLENTE againc? 

CoR. Marry,hee ftaies but till our (Hence give him leave :here hec 
comes, and with him Signior Deliro, a marchant, atwhofe houfe he is 
come to fojournc : Make your owne obfervation now, onely transferrc 
your thoughts to the city, with the fr«r*jwberej fuppofc they fpeakc 


AB i 1. Scene 1 v. 

eliro, Macilente, Fido, Fallace. 

T'Le tell you by and by, fir. 

■* Welcome (good Macilente ) to my houfe, 

To fojourne at my houfe for ever : if my belt 

Incatcs, and every fort of good intrcaty 

May move you ftay with me. Maci. I thank you, fir: 

And yet the muffled fates (had it plcas'd them) 

Miohc have fupply'd me, from their owne full itorc, 

Without this word (I thank you) to a foolc. 

I fee no reafon , why that dog ( calf d Cbaunce) 

Should fawne upon this fellow, more than me j 

1 am a man, and I have limmes, flefh, bloud, 

Bones, finewes, and a foulc, as well as he 

My parts are every way as good as his, 

If I. faid better? why, 1 did nor lye. 

Nath Icfle, his wealth (but nodding on my wants) 

Muft make me bow, and crie: (I thank you, fir.) 

Deli - Difpatch, take heed your miftris fee you nor, 
Fido. I warrant you, fir. Tie ftcalc by her foftly. 
Deli. Nay, gentle friend, be merry, raife your iookes 
Out of your bofomc ; I protcft (by heaven) 


Bclrrt tmftl'tu 

Un bey fir ewe 1 


the world. 


r m,n fin be worthy of her kindnefie) 

(S 'm 'vUuccar there not ? D,li. No, that is fare as death, 
No nun' alive! I doe not ^not, _ 
Bur, ca it poffibly be worth her kindnefie! 
N it is cennine, let mc doe her right. 
H id I ? doe her right ? as though I could 

As though this dull groiTc tongue of nunc could utter 
The rare; the true, the pure, the infinite rights, 
That fu (as high as I can looke) within her! 
Mac i. This" is fuch dotage, as was never heard. 
Deli. VYdl,tbis muft needs be granted. Maci. Granted, quoth you? 
Dm. Nay, Macilente j doc not Co difcrcdit 

The goodnefle of your judgement to denie ir, 

For I doe fpeakc the very lead of her; 

And I would crave, and beg no more of heaven, 

For^all my fortunes here, but to be able 

To utter Hrft in fit tcrmes, what fliec is, 

And then the true joyes I conceive in her. 

Maci. is't pcflibje lhe fliould deferve fo well, . ■■/•-■ 

As you pre? end? Deli. I, and flie knowes Co well 

Her owne deferts, that (when I ftrive t' enjoy them) 
She weighs the things I doc, with what flice merits: 
And (feeing ray worth out-weigh'd fo in her graces) 
Slice is fo folemne, fo precife, fo froward, 
That no obfervance- 1 can doc to her, 
Can make her kind to mc :if fliee find fault, 
I mend that faujt ; and then flie faics, I faulted, 
That I did mend ir. Now, good friend, advife mc 
Ho v I may remper this ftrange fplene in her. 

ci. You arc too amorous, too obfequious 
And make her too alTur'd,fhee may command you. 
\ i women doubt moft of their husbands loves! 

I hey are moft loving.. Husbands muft take heed 
They • no gluts of kindnefie. to their wives 
Bur ufc them like their horfes-, whom they feed 
Nor with a manger— full of meat together, 
Bur halfc a peck at once: and. keep them fo 
aull with an appetite to that they give th 

He ihat defires to have a loving wife 
' :; bridlcall the (hew of tbar n <lefire 



Every Man out of his Humour. 

Be kind, not amorous:- nor bewraying kindneflcV ' 
As if love wrought, it, but confederate duty. 
tf Offer no love-rites, but let wives ftill feckc them, 
"For when they come unfoughr,they feldomclikethcm. 
Deli. Bclecvc mc, Macilente, this is gofpell 
O, that a man were his owne nun fo much, 
To rule himfclfe thus. I will ftrive iTaith, 
Co be more ftrange and carcle flc : yet, I hope 
I have now taken fuch a perfect courfc, 
To make her kind to mec and live contented, 
That I (hall fad my k'indnefic well rcturn'd, 
And have no need to fight with my affections . 
Shcc (late) hath found- much fault with every roomc- 
Within my houfcj one was too big (dice (aid) 
Another was not furnifht to her mind, 
And Co through all: all which, now, I have alter'd. 
Then here, fhec hatha place (on my back-fide) 
Wherein fliec loves to walkc 5 and that (fliec faid) 
Had fomc ill fmels about ir. Now, this walke 
Have I (before fhec knowes it) thus perfum'd 
With herbes, and flowers, and laid in divers places, 
(As 'twere on altars, confecrarc to her) 
Perfumed gloves, and delicate chaincs of amber 
To keep the aire in awe of her fwect noftrils :' 
This have I done, and this I think will pleafe her. 
Behold (lie comes. F al . Here's a fweet ftink indeed 
What, {hall I ever bee thus croft, and plagu'd > 
And fick or husband ? O, my head doth ale, 
As it would cleave afunder, withthofe favours-, 
All my roomes alter'd, and but one poore walkc 
That I delighted m, and that is made 
So fulfome with perfumes, that I am fearrt 
(My braine doth fweat fo) I have caught the plague." 

T« c ' m Vh r y ,' (gcmI ? w , ife) is now 4 walke too fweet > 
Thou Paid ft of late, it had fowre aires about it, 

And found ft much fault, that I did not correct ir. 



Fal. Why an I did find fault, fir? Deli. Nav dcarcwifr 
know, thou haft faid, thou haft lov'd perfumes, * [ ° 3 

Nowoman better Fal. I, long fincc perhaps, 
But now that fenfe is alter'd • you would* have mc 
(Like to a puddle, or a ftanding poolc) 

10 have no motion,nor no IpMt within me. 
1NO, 1 am ijkc a purCj and fp . ight j riu , 

lhat moves for ever, and yet (till the fame ; 
And i° n T r ? fcS ' a " d °. n Wle flowers, b *' 

B l 

An,i r," ; , ' uu F L, rpic nowcrs, 





- Evtry 

Man out of bis 

I ! have they fo ? 

In your grofle Hff ^ " y floivcrS) and cut ones, 
Betwixt the to of pwi ng fairh ^ 

u'ving no mooiefthat I can joy to be in 

Deu. What (hall I doe ? 6,1 (hall never plcafe he , 

Maci. Outon thee, dotard! what ftane ruld his birth ? 
That brought him fuch a ftarre ? blind Tortunt ftill 
Beftowcs her gifts on fuch as cannot ufe them ; 
How long (hall 1 live, ere 1 be fo happy, 
To have a wife of this exceeding fotme? 

Deli. Away, with 'hem, would I had broke a joynt, 
it km, *t When I devis'd this, that fhoujd fo diflikc her. 
""-•'• Away, bearc all away. Pal. I, doe : for fcarc 

Ought that is there fhould like her. 0,this man, 
How cunningly hee can conceale himfelfe ! 
As though he lov'd ? nay, honour'd, and ador d ? 

Deli. Why, my fwect heart ? 

Fal. Sweet heart ! 6 ! better ftill '- 
And asking, why ? wherefore ? and looking ftrangely. 
As if he were as white as Innocence. 
Alas, you'r fimple, you: you cannot change, 
Looke pale at plcafure, and then red with wonder: 
No, no, not you .' 'tis pitty o' your naturalls. 
I did but can: an amorous eye, e'en now, 
Upon a paire of gloves, that fomewhat lik't me, 
And ftraieht hee noted it, and gave command, 
All fhould be tanc away. Deli. Be they my bane then. 
What, firrah,F id o, bring in thofe gloves againc, 
You tooke from hence. Fal. Sir, but doc not 
Bring in no gloves, to fpite me : if you doe- 

Deli. Ay me, moft wretched; how am I mifconftrud? 

maci. O, how fhee tempts my heart- firings, with her eve, 
To kmt them to her beauties, or to break ? Y 

r l"*»' d the heav ^> *at they could not make 
Mee fuch a woman ? but a man, a beaft, 

cK* o?™^ t0 °^ WouId "> heaven 
if wreak of my misfortunes) I were turn'd 

The deepeft whirle-pit of the rav'nous leas,) 
My adamantive eyes might head-long hale 
This iron world to mee, and drowne it all. 

Man out ofh 

/B u. Scene v 

. ! 

r f 

. ■ ■ . 



CAve you brother, and fitter, fave you, fir . I have commendations 
■-'for you out i the countrcy : ( I- wonder they take rjo knowledge of 
my fute:) mine uncle Sooliardo is in townc. Sifter, me thinks 
you are melancholy j why are you fo fad ?- 1 think you tookc me for ma- 
iler Fastidius ik'tsKE (fitter) did you not. 
Fast. Why fhould I take you for him? . 

Fung. Nay nothing--! was lately inmaftcr Fastidius his-compa- 
ny, and, me thinks, we are vety like. l 

Deli. You have a fa-ire fure, brother, 'give you joy.on'r 
Fung. Faith, good ynough to ride in, brother, I taxAeit to ride in 
Fal. O, now 1 fee the caufc o hi, idle demand, rf, his new fuel 
Deli. Pray you good brother, trie, if you can change her mood 
Fung. I warrant you, let me alone, lie put her out of her dumps 
Sifter _, how like you my fute ? ' * * 

Fal. O, yon area gallant in print now, brother. 
Fung . Faith,how like you the fafliion > it's the la ft edition, I afTure vou 
F a l . I cannot but like itj to the defcrr. ? y ' 

Fu ng . Troth , lifter, I was faine to borrow thefc fpurres, I ha' left mv 

gOwne in gage for 'hem, pray you lend me 'an angcll. 

» Fal. Now, be-flirow my heart, then. 
Fung, Good truth, l'lc pay you againc at my next exhibition • I had 

but bare ten pound of my father, and ic would not reach to put me wholly 

into the fafliion. 7 

Fal. I care not. 

Fung. I had fpurres ofmineowne before, but they were not cinder*. 
MondeurFAsTiDius will be here anon, fiftcr. 
Fal. Youjeft? 

Fling . Never lend me penny more ( while you live then ) and that 
I Id be loth to fay, in truth. 

Fal. When did you fee him ? 

Fung . Yeftcrday, I came acquainted with him at fir Puntarvolo's ? 
nay, fwect fiftcr. 

• Maci. I faine would know of heaven now, why yond foolc 

Should wcare a fute of fattin? he? that rooke? 

That painted jay, with fuch a deale of out-fide ? 

What is his iniidc trow ? ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 

Good heaven, give me patience, patience, patience, 

A number of thefe popenjayes there are, 

Whom, if a man conferre, and but examine 

Their inward merit, with fuch men as want; 

Lord, lord, what things they are! 

Fa i . Come, when will you pay me againc. now » 

Fung. O good, fiftcr! 

Maci. Here comes another.- 

i As. 







A3 n* 

Fastidius Briske. 

, . nsT TRO • how do'fl thou, ftreet lady ? Let «* 
Ave you, figpior Deliro- 


■ pu Why look you fo pale, prother? 
Fun c . 'Slid, all this money is caft away, now. 
Min I there's a newer edition come lorth. • 

Fung' ! T s but my hard fbttune! well, lie have my futc chang d, 1] { 

go! fetch my uy lot prlfcntly but firftl'ie devife a letter to my father, 

Ha' you any pen, and inkc, jitter* . 
Fal. WUiat would you doe witnall? 

Fung . I would ufe it. S'lighr, an it had come but foure dayes loom, 

C Fast There was a countcfle gave me her hand to kifie to day, i' the 
prefenceididrae more good by that light than-and yeftermght fentba 
coach twifc to my lodging, to intreat mec accompany her, and my tow 
miftris with fome two , or three namelefTe ladies more : O, I have beta 
rac't by 'hem beyond all aimeof affcaion :.. this 'sher garter my da^ 
__angs in : and they doe fo commend , and approve my apparcll , with Df 
judicious wearing of it, it's above wonder. 

Fal. Indeed fir, 'ris a raoft excellent fute, and you doe wcarc ita 

extraordinary. m 

Fa s t . Why, Tie tell you now(in good faith) and by this chaire, wde 
( by the grace of god ) I intend prcfently to fit in , I had three futes in o& 
yecre, made three great ladies in love with me : X had other three, urnli- 
three gentlemen in imitation : and other thtce gat three other gentle"^" 
widdowes of three thoufand pound a ycere. 
DELi.Is'r polfible? 

Fast. 0,bclcevc it, fir; your good face is the witch, and your apf* 
rellthe fpclls, that bring all the pleafures of the world into their circk- 
Fal. Ah, the fwect grace of a courtier! 

Ma ci. Well, would my father had left me but a good face for $ 
portion yet; though I had fliar'd the unfortunate wit that goes with it) 1 
had not car'd : I mi^ht have pafl for fomewhat i' the wotld then. 

Fast. Why,aflureyou, fignior, rich apparcll has ftrange virtues :^ 
makes him that hath it without meancs , citccmcd for an excellent*!^ 
that enjoyes it with meancs, puts the world in remembrance of his mean* 
it helps the deformirits of nature, and gives Iuftre to her beauties; matt 
1 inuall holy-day where it fhincs ; fets the wits of ladies at worke,tf 
othcr.rifc would be idle : furniflieth vnnr *™,~-fl™11.*n« or^Jnorii*: ra^ 
pofl , n of your ftage at your 
fcoruingto gbc with your fcull 

Every Man out of bis Humour. 

Ma ci . Pray you, fir, adde this ; it gives refp^atoyour foolcTinakeT 
many theeVes, as many ftrumpets, and no fewei bankrupts. J 

Fal. Out, out, unworthy to fpeak,whete he brcatheth. 
Fast. What's he, Signior? 
Deli. A friend of mine, fir. 

• Fast. By heaven, I wonder at you, citizens, what kind of creatures 
you arc ! 

Deli. Why, fir> 

Fast. That you canconfort your fclvcs, with fuch poore fcame- 
rcnt fellowes. 

Fal. Hee fayes true. 

Deli. Sir, I will allure you (how ever you eftecmc of him) he's a man 
worthy of regard. 

Fast. Why ? what ha s he in him,of fuch vcrtue to be regarded* ha? 

Deli. Marry, hee is a Schollcr, fir. S "*' ™ ? 

Fast. Nothing elfc? 

Deli. And he is well travaifd. 

Fast. He fhould get him clothes; I would cherifTi thofe good parts 
of travaile m him, and pretcrrchim to fome nobleman of good place. 

Deli. Sir,fuch a benefit fhouldbind me to you forever (in my friends 
fight) and I doubt not^but his defert fhall more than anfwere my praife 

Fast. Why, an' he had good clothes, lid carry him to court with 
mce to morrow. 


Deli. He (hall not want for thofe, fir, if gold and the wliole city 
will furnifh him. J 

Fast. You fay vvell,fir : fairfy Signior Deliro, I am come to have 
you play the ^Icbymift with me, and change the [pedes of my land into 
that mettall you talke of. 

Deli. With all my hearr,fir, what fumme will fcrvc you? 

Fast. Faith, fome three, or foure hundred. 
c Deli. Troth, fir, I have promiftto meet a gentleman this morning ; 
in Paula, but upon my returnc Tie difpatch you. 

Fast. Tie accompany you thither. 

Deli.. As_you pleafc, fir ; but I gocnot thither dirc&ly. 

Fast. 'Tis no matter, I haue no other defigncment in hand, and 
therefore as good goe along. 

De l i . I were as good have a quartane feavcr follow me now, for I 
mall nerc be rid of him: (bring me a cloke there, one) ftill, upon his 
grace at court, I am fure to be vifitcd - I was a bead to give him any 
hope. W dJ, would I were in, that I am out with him,once,and-.-Come 
Signior Macilente,! muitconferrewithyou,aswcceoc. Nay,deare 
wife,I befeech rhcc,rotkkc thefemoods:lookcnot like winterthus Here 
rjkc my k-yes, open my counting houfes, fprcad all my wealth before 
thee choofe any obiea that delights thee : If thou wilt cate the fpirirof 
gold, and drink diflolv d pcarle in wine, 'tis for thee. 

Fal. S 0j fi r . 

Deli. Nay, my fwect wife. 

I-ai .. Good lord : how you are perfum'd ! in your tcrmes, and all ! pray 
you leave us. ' ' 

t>lhU Come, gentlemen. 


K 3 


> > 




*£l SS£ wiur lucks this * I have 

Past, Adicw, ftrcei laty f a in minc eatcs , an d thy grac 

F ] > l ,Lctlh r«^ aU myfcnfcs ! 0,how happy is that lad/a 

fpctfc contentment ™ rou b\ abfolurc a gentleman to her fcrvant .' ^ 

bovc other ladies, that en joy c ^ fooU(h countc {r e ! he s a mm w 0r . 

counicfle give him her hand to * ^^ ^ thc Ups of an cmprcflC( 

dgifi ««^flwygW , ^ ! . TIDlus gone, fiftcr ? 

rubin !) 
MO, Godsme, wna, «. «„«-- ** «* *»** and aU: 
"ft LT^ffia^to «bD* likeanangell!) 

Aura How tone is't fmcehewent? 

Fu Why, but e'en now :. did you not meet him > (and a tongue 
able ' to rav i(h any woman i the earth 1 ) .. . , L . 


ing O, fo gods fake (Vie plcafc you for your paines:) but ^ 
f?v vouV Come, *ood, fir : S'lid I had forgot it too : Siftenf any 

office, yonder by ***** ........^^.t^^^^in.. 


will into my private 

his good parts, one after another. 


Mit. Well, I doubt, this lad Scene will endure fomc grievous torture, 
Cor. How? you fearc'twillbcrackr,byfome hard conftru&ion? 

Mit. Doc not you ? 

Cor. No, in good faith :unlclfc mine eyes could light race bcyonl 
fenfe. I fee no reafon, why this (houid be more liable to thc rack, than the 
reft : you'ic fay, perhaps, the city willnot take it well, that the mcrchifc 
is made here ro dote fo perfectly upon his wife ; and fhee againe to befo 
Fapdioufl) affected, as fhee is ? 

Mit. You have uttcr'd my thought, fir, indeed. 

Cor. Why, (by that proportion) the court might as well take offence 
at him wee call thc courtier, and with much more pretext, by how much 
thc place tranfcends,and goes before in dignity and verrue : but can yon 
imaginethatanynoble,ortrucfpirit in court (whofe fnowie,and altoge- 
ther un-afte&ed gra ccs, very worthily expreffe him a courtier) will mafe 

y exception at the opening of fuch an empty trunkc, as this Biuske 

? or think his ownc worth empcacht, by beholding his motley infidc? 

Mit. No, fir, I doc not. ° 

Cor. No more, afliirc you, will any grave wife citizen, or modetf 
matron,takc the objedof this folly in Deliro, and his wife i but rather 
apply it as the foile to their owne vertues. For that were to affirmc,that a 
■ttn,wncingofNERo,fliouId mcane all Emperors : or fpeakingofM* 
^ 1 ? VE rV COm P ch , end a11 Sr 2tes-men ; or in our SoRDiDo,all Farrnaffl 
Ihf, l\ °t a 5 u then which > nothing can be uttcr'droore malicious^ 
tS i' CrC T a forto ^be(c narrow-eyd decyphercts, I c& 

ne've? fciif^" ftran ^ an ^b(lrufcmeaningsoutofanyfubjea,o« 

n« « fo confpicuous ar.3 innocently deliver*. But to fuch ( where f 


Every M an out of his Humour, 

they fit conccal'd) let them know, the author defies them, and their wri- 
ting-tables; and hopcs,no found or fafc judgement will infect it fclfe with 
their contagious comments, who (indeed) come here only to pervert and 
povfon the ienfc of what they hearc, and for nought clfe. ' 

Mit. Stay, what new Mute is this, that walkcsfo fufpicioufly ? 

Cor. O, marry this is one, for whole better illuftration ; vvc mult de- 
fire you to prcfuppofc thc ftagej the middle ifle in Faults 5 and that the 
weft end of ir. " 

Mit. So, fir: and what followcs ? ■' 

Cor. Faith, a whole volume of humour, and worthy thc unclapfins;. 
Mit. As how ? what name doe you give him firft ? 

Cor. He hath fliift of names, fir: fomc call him Apple JoiiN forae 
Signior Whifpe, marry, his mainc Handing name isCava'lier 
Shift : the reft arc but asclcanc fhirts to his natures. 

Mif . Andwbat makes hec in Paules, row \ 

Cor. Troth, as you fee, for thc advancement of xSiquis^ or two' 
wherein he has fo varied himfclfe, that if any one of 'hem take' hec may 
hull up and downe in the humorous world, a little longer. 

Mit. It lecrncs.then, he bearcs a very changing faile ? 

Cor. O, as the wind, fir: here comes more. 


A eft i ii. Scene i. 

Shift, Orange, Clove. 

* * 

-* I ''His is rare,Ihave fct up my bills, without difcovcry. 

Or an. What? Signior Whiffe i what fortune has brought 
you into thefe weft parts ? 

> Shift. Troth, fignior, nothing but your rheume ; 1 have beene ra- 
king an ounce of tabacco hard by here, with a gentleman, and I araco rnc 
to fpit priyat in Paules. 'Save you fir. 
Oran. Adieu, good fignior Whiffe. 

Clov. Maftef Apple Jo'ilN ? you are well met: when fhall wee fup 
together, and laugh, and be fat with thofe good wenches? ha? 

' Shift. Faith; fir, I muft now leave you , upon a few humours , and 
occafions: but when you pleafc, fir. 

Clov. Farewell, iwect Apple John r'l^vonder, there are no more 
ftore of gallants here' 

„ „' ~ .; 

n v v v 

Mit. What be thefc two,Tighior ? 

C o r . Marry, a couple fir, that are meere itrangers to the whole (cope 
of our play ; only corne to walk a turneortwo, i' this Scene o{ PauUs,by 

Orang. 'Save you, g6odmafter Clove. 
Clove. Sweet mailer Orange. 


GREX. ] 

Mit. How ? Clove, and Orange > 

Cor. I, and they are well met, for 'tis as dry an Orange as ever 




I ' 



;„,v Man out of bnH'-nm^ 

, q „ ,/ /jy rjnct it ph'&fcs you to fay r Q 

arew : „o.l»ing,but >■../•;«■-• l*fo jJ^wU, a mod pkufiblfi, ^ 
.. one dot can bug ■ "i'f, oure after; in private, aske you w|„ t ? 

KBjniPOWl gnce , "gfg!^i, a more fpic't youth : he will ft ' 
w -,s : the other, mounfieur Co- bool Ull ws foop, reading* 

, .hole- rf" 1 -" "" .^hcn ne underftands not a word of eg* 

< fa Mhm "*J*S f,?cs,he were an excellent linguift. '' 

"gi&Wp b£ rl- reported, for certainty. 

O'lAN'. O god, fir- 



Punt arvolo, Carlo* 

Clrrab,takemycloke:andyoufir knave, follow race clofer. If th, 
i>Iofcft my doege, thou (halt dye a dogs death j I will hang thee. . 

Car. Tut, toe himnot,bccsa good leanc flavc, hce loves a dog 
xvcllj warrant him - 1 fee by his lookes, I : mafle he s fomewhat like hua. 
S lud poyfon him, make him away with a crooked pmne, or .fomewhat, 
man ; thou ma ieft have more fecurity of thy 1 ifc : and fo fir, what ? you hi 
not put out your whole venter yet? ha you? 

Punt. No, I doc want yctfomc nftecne, or fixteene hundred pounds: 
but my lady (my wife) i? out of her humour ; (he does not now goe. 

Car. No? how then? . 

Punt. Marry, I am now enforc't to give it out, Upon the returned 

my fclfe, my doggc, and my cat. 

£ar. Your cat? where is Hie? _ i 

Punt. My fquire has her there, in the bag : Sirrah, lookc to her : Ho* 
lik'ft thou my change, Carlo ? • « . • . 

Car. Oh, for the better fir ; your cat has nine lives , and yourwifc 
ha' bat one. 

Punt. Bcfides, flicc will never be fea-fick , which will fave mcelo 
much in confeivc's : when; Haw you fignior Sogliardo? 

Car. 1 came from him but now, he is at the Heralds office yondtf: 
he to goe -afore, and take up a man or two for him ' fl 
Paula, againft his cognifancc was ready. 

Punt. What: has he ptirchaft armys, then ? 

" [fay ^ 

_ a an I can 

legs to his armes 

Punt. With legs to his amies! Good : I will goe with you, fir. 


hi. Scene nr. 


QOmc, let's walkc in Mediterraneo ; 1 attire you, fir, I am not* 

lcaft rcipcacd anaong ladies 5 but let that paffc : doe vou W 

now to goe into the prefence, fir. 

M aci. Why, on my feet, fir? 

Punt. What: has he ptirchaft arra/s, then ? 

Car. I, and rare ones too : of as many colours, as c're you 
foolcs coat in your life. 1'Jc goe lookc amoncr yond' bills, a 
fit him with legs to his armes ° 



Fast . No,on your head, fir : fov'zis that muft bcarc you our 1 affurc 
you: asthus,fir. You muft fit ft haw anefpcciall care fotovvearc your hat 
that it oppreue not confiifedly this your predominant,or forc-iop- be- 
caufe (when you come at the prefence dorc) youmay,withonce or twice 
ftrokingupyour fore-head thus, enter, with your predominant perfeft: 
that is, ftanding up ftiffc. 

M ac i . As if one were frighted ? 

Fast. I, fin .,, : ^ 

Maci. Which indccd,a true fearc of your miftris (hould doe, rather 
than gumruc-water, or wbiresof egges : is't not fo] fir ? 

Fast. An ingenious obfervation : give mee leave to crave your 
name , Sir. 

Deli. His name i'sMacilente, fir. 

Fast. Good fignior Ma cii'.ente-- if this, gentleman, fignior De- 
liro, furnifhyou ( as he (ayes be will) with clothes, I will btfn« you, to 
morrow by this time, into the prefence of the mo ft divine, and aauti lady 
in court : you (hall lee fivect filent rhctorique, and dumb eloquence fpea- 
king in her eye; but when fhee fyeaks her fclfe, fuch an anatomy of wit 
fo finewiz'd and arteriz'djthac 'tis the goodlieft modcll of pleafure that 
ever was to behold. Oh ! fhee.ftrikesrhe world into admiration of her; 
(6, 6, 6)1 cannot expreffe 'hem, belccve me. ' :d j 

Maci. O, your only admiration is your filcnce,fir. 

Punt. 'Forcgod, Carlo, this is good- let's read ' hem againe. 

If there be any lad), or gentlewoman of good carriage, that is de fir Out to en- TIlc fiift biU - 
tertaine (to her private fifes') a young, (fratgh't, audiuf right gentleman, of 
the age offivr, or fixe and toentyat-tbe 'mofl: rvhocanferve % the nature 
of a gentleman ufrer ^ and hath little leggs ofpurpofe, and a Hack far tea 
futeofhis owne, to gr.e before her rn: vbicb fute {for the more fipeetning) 
now I) es in lavander : and can hide bis face with herfanne, if neea'e require: 
or fin in r he cold at the flaire-foot for ber, as mil as another gentleman : Let 
her frdfenbe her name and place, and diligent refpeftjb all be given. 

Punt. This is above mcafurc excellent ! ha? 

Car. No,this,thisl here's a fine flave. 

Ifthiscit^ or the fuburbs ofthe fame , doe afford any yong gentleman ' The fccor.4 
of the firf, fecond, or third head, more or leffe, wbofe friends are but ™ 
lately deceased, and rch of elands are but new come into bis bands, that (to bee 
as exaFlly qualified as the heft of our ordinary gallants are) if ajfetlcd to en. 
tertaine the moft gentlemanlike ufe of tabacco : as firfl, to give it the moft 
exquifite perfume: then, to I- no* all the delicate [met femes for the affront L 
tton of it: as alfo the rare corollarie, and praclke of the Cuban ebofition 
Eur i pus, and whiffe-, which he frail receive, or rake in, here at London' 
and evaporate at Uxbridgc, or farther, if it pleafe him. If there be any fuch 
generotu fpirit, that is truly enamour'd of thefe good faculties • May it pleafe 
htm, but ( by a note of his hand) to fpecifie the place, or ordinary where he 

i, U , falti iWii lye '•> aru ^ m °ft f weet attendance, with tabacco and pipes of 
fbelejlfort frail be mini(lred:STET Qu*so CaNDIDE LlicroR. 

Punt. Why this is without, p^H this ! 

Car. Well,, l'le markc this fellow for Sogliardo 's ufc prefcntly. 
Punt. Or rather, Sogx-tardo for his ufe. 
Car. Faith either of 'hem will fervc, they are both good properties: 






-&Z, Man cm ofbu Humour. __ 

— \ Um too that wee may fee him. 

1'lc dciignc the other a place i > ^ wcc bcc 

p aNT . Na^^^ga ^ ^^ ^^ : Sign . or s P^ 

with you, Carlo. jv**j 
do !'iavc you. 

I Scene I v. 



OAvc you, good fir Puntarvolo j yourdogg's in health, fir, I fej 

OK n \Vc bawtane Gmplepaines, to choofc you out followers her,, 

Punt. Come hither, fignior. „ ,. 

Clov. Mounfieur Orange , yond gallants obferve us ; pry the- 

' Jet's talke ruftian a little, and gull 'hem : make hembcleeve we aregr* 


Orang. O lord, fir. 

Clove. Nay,pf y thee let's, bcleeve me, you have an excellent li- 
bit in difcourfe. ' | 
Orang. It plcafes you to fay fo, fir. 
Ciove. "By this church, you ha la : nay, come, begin : Ar is tot- 

in hisDamonQtogi^apfrovcsScSLlGVLKfor the be f navigator in bit t'm 
and in his Hfltroitiijues, he reports him to be Hmttontimor umenos : youc- 
derftand the Greek, fir > 

Orang. Ogod, fir. 

Maci. For focieties fake hee does. 0,hcre bee a couple of fix 


Clove. Now, f\i, whereas the Ingenuitie of the timc,and the foolc 
Sjnderijis are but Emir ions in nature, added tothepanch of Efquilim^. 
the Inter-vallum of the Zodiac k, befides the Ecliptic k line being optickfi 
not menuSJovt by the contemplative & theoriek part thcreof,doth demo: 

Orang. O lord, fill 

Clove. Thcncommingtothc pretty ^nimall^zsReafon long find* 
fed toanjmalsyovi know, or indec d for the more model! izing^or emmM 
or rather diamondizing of your [ubjeel, you fhall perceive the ffypofbt 
or Galaxia, (whereof the Mete on long fincc had their initiall incept' 
md notions) tobemccrely P)thagoricall i Matbematic*ll#x\& Ariftocratid' 
Tor lookcyou,fir, there is exer zkindoi' concinnitie and [pedes— U^ 
turneto our former difcourfe, for they markc us nor. 

Fast. Mafic, yondcr'sthe knight Puntarvolo. 
JJfiU. Aiumycoufm Sogliardo, mc thinks. 
ma< i. i >a na Ins familiar that haunts him, thedcvill wi 

ng face. 

ith the d* 

• Let 'hem alone, obferve 'hem not. 
* Nay,Iwilll«vchim J lamrcfolut 

•""■' rncnt cmi,™' VT "T """» * am ^'foJutc for that. By this part"' 
J ot bclccve, they dee fpeak i the ftrangeft language, * 

Every Man out of bis Humour. 


give a man the hardeft termes for his money, that ever you knew . 

Car. But ha' you armes ? ha' you armes > 

Sog. Y faith, I thank them, I can write my felfe gentleman now 
here s my pattent, it coft mc thirtie pound, by this breath. ' 

Punt. A very fairc coat, well charg'd, and full of armory. 

So g . Nay, it has as much variety of colours in it, as you have ftene 
a coat have, how like you the creft, fir? 

Punt. 1 underftand it not well, what is t?" 

Sog. Marry, fir, it is your Bore without a head Rampant. 

A Bore without a head, that's very rare ! 

Car. I, and rampant too -.troth, I commend the Heralds wit, hee 
has dccyphcrcd him well: A fwine without a head, without braine, wit, 
any thing indeed, tamping to gentility. You can blazon the reft, fienior? 
can you not ? 

Sog. O, I, I have it in writing here of purpofe, it coft mc two (hil- 
lings the rricking. 

Car. Let's hcare, let's hcare. 

Pun t . 1 1 is the raoft vile, foolifh, abfurd, palpable, & ridiculous cfcut- 
chcon, that ever this eye furvis'd. Saveyou,goodmonfieurFASTiDius. 
Car. Silence, good knight: on, on. 

Sog. Gyro NY,ofcight^«j Azure and Gules, betweene three 
plates t a C hev' kon, engrailed check cj, Or, Vert, and Ermines jon a 
jbitfi A r g e n t betweene two A n n ' l e t s, fables ; a Bores head, Proper . 

Car. How's that ? on a cheefe Argent ? 

Sog. On a cheefe Argent , a Bores head Proper , betweene two 
Ann 'lets fables. 

Car. -Slud, it's a hogs-checke, and puddings in a pewter field this. 
Sog. How like you 'hem, fignior? 

Punt. Let the word bee, Not without mufiard- your creft is very 
rare, fir. . . 

Car. A frying-pan, to the creft, had had no fellow. . 

Fast. Intrcat yourpoore friend to walkc off a little, fignior, I will 
falute the knight. 

Car. Come, lap't up, lap't up. 

Fast. You arc right well encountred, fir, how do's your fairc dog? 
Punt. Inreafonable ftate, fir: what citizen is that you were confor- 
tcd with ? a merchant of any worth > 

Fast. 'Tis fignior Deliro, fir. 
Punt. Is it he? Save you, fir. 

Deli. Good fir Puntarvolo. 

Maci . O, what copie Of foolc would this place minifter, to one en- 
dew d with patience, to obferve it? 

Car. Nay lookc you fir, now you are a gentleman, you muft carry 
a more exalted prefciicc, change your mood, and habit, toa more auftere 
forme, be exceeding proud, ftand upon your gentilitie, and fcorne every 
man. bpeak nothing humbly, never difcourfe undera noble man, though 
you nere law. him but ridingto the Starre-chamber, it's all one. Love no 
man. Truft no man. Speak ill of no man to his face : nor well of any 
man behind his back. Salute fairely on the front, and wifh 'hem hang'd 
upon tneturnc. Spread your felfc upon his bofomc publickly, whofe 



7bcj fa'ute as 


Faflitfux mixes 
icith Funtarvom 
ifhtrdo, T>tlvr$ 9 
and hlacVentty 
Clove and 0- 
rangt y fonrc 





Man out of I- 


^ ^-^Tr& Principles, think on'hcrr^ 

i-ciit vou would catc in prw« c - 

S«» you — ligJggSti ?* » ot fo clofe : tby brCath wU1 ** 

Punt. Sirrali, Ktq«- 
«V U& - ooodcoufin.Ian.aUu.cbuf-cho.vdos myneece ,„ 


^ff 1 1 1. Scene v. 

Fungoso, Taylor. 

V TAY i rfi^^lnsSblun.heeMufenot.lookeyo, 
Fung. I,hM W ■ . tno u a fut( , wlthout dlff 

A« tbc few, f« : 1 wouM n ave mi , ^ ^ 

fuel, ftufte, fuch a «.ng, «"*££"*, . 

Vast, vvnyj w 7 iMimnnr ftill in contempt of this ccntonota 

*5JX Uit townc will approve inhim, he were a facet afie : 111 

that LJ not how cg put themfelvesmto t. For mjneowne parr fo 
jtefc mine owue appetite, I am cateleffe what the fufhe world fpeab 

of mee. Puh. ... , , l •» 

Fung. Doe you markc, how it bangs at the knee there? 

Tay. 1 warrant you, fir. . 

Fung. For gods fake, doc,note all: doc you fee the coller,ur? 

Tay. Feare nothing, itfhall not differ in a ftich, fir. 

Fung. Prayfaeavn, it doe nor,you'I make thefe linings ferve?iw 
heJpe me to a chapman for the out-fide, will you ? 

Tay. l'le doe ray beft, fir : you'l put it off prefently ? . 

Ring . I, goc with mee to my chamber, you fhall have it — but mate 
hafte of it, tor the love of a cuftomer, for l'le fit i' my old futc,orcl 
lye a bed, and read the Anadit, till you have done. 

Car. O, if ever you were (truck with a jeft, gallants, now, now. ' 
doe u(herthe moft ftrangc peece of militarie profcffion, that ever ** 
difcover'd in Infula Twin*, 

Fast, Where? where? 

Punt, What is hee, for a creature ? 

Car. A pimpc, a pimpc,thatlhave obferv'd yonder, the rarcft /"' 
pennies of a humour; he comes every morning to emptie his lungj 
in P Aules here: and offers up fome five, or fixe HecAtombs of faces, a^ 
fishes, and away againe. Here hee comes-, nay, walke walkc, bee f-° : 
fcenc to note him, and wee (hall jiave excellent fport. ' 

Elf cry Man out of his Humour. 


M in. 

Scene vi. 

S H 1 V T. 

To : t 


PuNT.C'Lidjhcevenedafighe'ne now, I thought hee svould have 

^blowne up the church. 
Car. O,you fhal have himghea number of thofc falfe fires ere he depart. 
Fast Sees now he iscxpotUilatingwithhis rapier !looke,lookc. 
Car. Did you over, in your daics, obferve better paflion over a hilt ? 
Punt. Except it were in the pcrfon of a cutlers boy, or that the fel- 
low were nothing but vapour, I fhould think it ira^oflible. 

Car; See, againe, he claps his fworo^o' the head, as who fhould fay, 


Fast. O violence! I wonder the blade can containc it fclfe, being 


Car. » fVitb that \tbe moody [quire thumpt J/isbreaft , 

And 7eurd bis c)en to heaven, for revenge. 

Soo. Troth , an' you be good gentlemen, let's make 'hem friends, and 
take up the matter, betwecne his rapier, and him. 

Car. Way, if you intend that, you muft laydowncthe matter; for 
this rapier (it (eerm s) is in the nature jofa hanger on, and the good gen- 
tleman would happily be rid of him. 

Fast. By my faith, and 'tis tobe fufpeftcd, l'le aske him. 

Maci. O, here's rich ftuffe, for lites fake, let usgoe. 
A man would with himfclfea (cnfelefle pillar, 
Rather than view thefe monftrous prodigies : 

Nil habet infeslix pauperis durituin /e, 
Quam quod ridiculos homines facit 

Fast. Signibr. 

Shift. At your fcrvice. 

Fast. Will you fell your rapier ? 

Car. Hee is turn'd wild upon the queftion,heelookes as hee had 
feenea fcrjeant. 

Shift. Sell my rapier ? now farcblcfle mee. 
• Punt. Amen. 

Shift. Youask't me, if I would fell my rapier, fir? 

Fast. ] did indeed. 

Shift. Now, lord have mercy upon me. 

Punt. Amen, I fay fiill. 

Shut. 'Slid fir, what fhould you behold in my face, fir, that fhoulo 
move you (as they fay, fir) to aske me, fir,if I would fc 11 my rapier ? 

Fas r . Nay (let me pray you,fir) be not mov'd:I proteft, I would rather 
havebeene filcnt,rhan any wayoffehfive,had I knowne your nature. 

Shift. Sell my rapier ?'ods lid! Nay,fir (forminco.vnc part) as I am 
a man that hasferv'd incaufcs,orfo,fol am not apt to injure any gentle- 
man in the degree of falling foule,but (fell my rapier ?) I will tell you fir, 
I have fervd with this foolifh rapier, where fome of us dare norappcare in 
hafte ;I name no man: bur let that pafic. (Sell mv rapier?) dcathtfl my 
lungs. This rapier, fir, has rravaU'dbymy fide, fir, "the beft part of*** 



I 10 

Mm nnt of bis Humour . 

— 7 — ^S^Br/^and the B&ghe with this 

S d,- /o«- r*** : I ta^fii : and (by gods *ill> hetbatjhould 

ina Qoy ^ us ; ' T " u 
Lookc you fir,you prefumetobc 

Offer to difrapierme xm > } ou ifc r fricn ds here, if you have any d,f. 

nan ot fort, and folikw 1 qt ^ onCjtvVO) or all of you, I 

pdationwttavcll,fortbe^o^. andco dcrs m t , ic W eW 

; : , n lend you J«tc«,to J £* u aUthc good offices jhat Hia 1 pcrtainc 
. ...... n,., nr mv cauic out y ^ o - i boiintu „r 

Plcafc you to fhew the bounty f 

l£ r r o gentlemen ^y""' G r halfe a crownc to our n fe 

ys^SflSSSSM S m -*• - .-if, :• 

l my rapier? , fianior? heesa proper man. 

What, ft" my rapier.- 

pray 5 

££ M?n|cr ' noT,r : my « P ier is my ^ard, m^cfencc. 

my mind, 

my re- 




Ship. My rapier nu - ^£"V £ fo^ i befcech you) and 
vencw,my honour: you ■ ^ ^^ of du ft ,'oradrop of water, 
lwillmaimaincit, where there is a mine or ^ , rtr %u m .>&,.! 

found thee true as fteelc— * and (you ... . 
tlctncn: (nevcitbcleffe if you have a f ancie to it,iir.; 

Fast. Pry thee away : isSigniorDELiRO departed? 

Car. Ha you fcene a pimp out-fa cc his ownc wants better? 

Sog. I commend him, that can difiemble'hcm fowell. 

Punt. True, and having no better a clokc for it, than he has neither. 

Past. Gods precious, what mifchicvous lucke is this ! adieu 

Punt. Whither ? infuch haftc,Monficur Fastidius ? 

Fast. Aftermy merchant, fignior Deliro, fir. 

Carl. O hinder him not, hec may hap lofc his tide, a good 

flounder i* faith. 

Or an. Hatkc you, fignior Whiffet word with you. 
Car. How? fignior" W hi fs e ? 
Or an. What was the difference bctweenc that gallant that's good 
and you, fir ? 

Ship. Nodiffcrencc:hewouldha' giv'n rae five pound for my rapi<* 
and I refus'd it ; that's all. 

Clov. O, was't no othcrwife ? wee thought you had becne upon 
fome termes. 

Ship. No other than you faw, fir. 

Clov. Adieu, good Mafter Apple- John. 

Car. How? WHiriE,and Apple-John too> HeaFt, what'il 

youfay ifthis be the -p/v»rf«,or labcll tobothyond' indentures? 
Punt. It maybe. 

Car. Refolvcusofit]ANus,thouthat look' ft every way : ortho» 
Hercules, that haft travail d all countryes. 
Punt. Nay, Carlo, fpend not time in' invocations now,'tislatc. 

Car. SigQior,nercsagentlcrmndefirousof your name, fir. 

Sh1» t « 


Shit. Sir,my_name is Cavalier Shift: I am knownc fufficicnt- 
ly in this \va Ike, fir. 

Car. Shift ? I heard yourmme varied e'en now, as I take it, 
Shif. True, fir, it pleafes the world (as I am her excellent Tgbbacc*- 
niji) iogive me the ftile Of fignior Whiffe : as I am a poore.cfquirc a- 
bout the townc here, they call me Mafter Apple- John, Varictie of 
good names does well, fir. 

Car* I, and good parts, to makcthofe good names ; but of which 
I ini3gincyond' bills to be yours. 

Shif. Sir, if I mould denic the manufcripts^ I were worthy to be 
baniftit the middle ile, for ever* 

Car* I take yOur word, fir : this gentleman ha* iubfcrib'd to 'hem, 
and is moftdefirous to become your pupill. Marry you muftufe expedi- 
tion. Signior Infulfo Sogliardo i this is the profeitor. 

So c . In good time, fir ; nay, good fir, houfc your head : doe you pro* 
felTe thefe flights in tabacco? i ■ • 

Ship. I, doe more than profeffe, fir, and (if you pleafe to bee a pra- 
ctitioner) 1 will undertake in one fortnight to bring you, that you (hall 
take it plaufibly in any Ordinarie, Theatre, or the Tilt-yard^ if need be 
i* the moft popular alTembly that is. • 

Punt. But' you cannot bring him to the whiffy fo foone? 

Shif. Yes,as foone, fir : hee ihall receive the firft, fecond, and third 
vhifferf it pleafe him, and (upon the rece it) take his horfij, drinke his 
three cups ofCanarie, and expofe one ttKottnflwi a.fccond itSttttts and 
a third at Sagjjjof. 

Car. Baw-waw! . LA _ 

Sog. You will not ferve mee, fir, will. you? lie give you mote than 
countenance. , . ,\ € , ... 

Shif. Pardon me, fir, I mrxi 
Car. Who ? he ferve ? he !. he keeps high men; and >low men ■ he J 
hee has a faire living at Fuffam. . - 10 ] 

Shif. But in the nature of a fellow, 1'le be your follower* if vou 
pleafe. J 

Sog. Sir, you M ftay, and dine with mee y and if wee can agree , 
wee le not part in hafte : I am very bountifull to menof qualitie. Where 
fhall wee goe, fignior ? . : r 

Punt. Your Miter is your beft houle. 

Shif. * 
AaU retaine. r _.. v r „ mmm , , ,. ; . 1:;11 

your patience, follow race, fellowes: IltrO idoin 
7 Gi Sir, Puntarvolo ! • |! . 

niNT. Pardon mee, my dogge OulLnot eate & his Jdkfaf fa i 

A5sjr am ^ fignior W™^******* 


a «M* it. in.* i, jKjui ucu nuuie. 

I can ntokc this dogge take. as many *bijfes zs tttfk and he 
tine,orefnjmethcm,ar mypteafure. : ' ,!; , ■■■ .' * 
Punt. By your patience, follow raee,.fellowesi ,! j'u . 







, £ y f y - r -.r-rTvhcn any" ftranget comes in amongft 

C^TTn>c, J nathef..n>.o« > ^„ m feme unknome b«(t, 

. ,„L a U ftand up and flare « w ^ , kh a goo d aJventuion, 

£Srf 4f*f fi 1' ,Jl , fit dofvnc,and ufe no tdj*a 5 «fc, 

^ydfing's P»r^Sthey V think you haue travail d : tW 
fc fecl.and Wx«ik* f e / hu d di f courfe in nothmghut augh . 

c rtr ' warrant yuu, * * i. • 

pS.t S^ CS tf 1 n« % much as the reaft pott* 
of coyne before. 

a REX. 

WlT . I ttavell withanothcrobjeaion, figmor, jwhfch I fearcvil! fc 
J&d a^ainfithc author.crel canbedcuverd of at. 

ftx' Ke^ntof hb <Wfc mightta* beeneofte 

Mit. l nat enc argu counteffe, and that coun- 

^^ to -^ tottSf the fonne to love the lad, 
Sw I : fomefuch crofTe wooing, with a clowne to that 
ST£Sr than tobe thus neere, and family allied tc .the : rn^ 

Cor. You fey well, but I would feme here one of thefe autumn, 
ludgements define once Vii fit Comedia I if he cannot, let him contra 

himfelfeabetter) who Would have zComedsexohz Imtuno w", *f«£ 
con[uetudinis, Imago veritatis- athing throughout pleafant, and ndiculow, 
and accommodated ro the corrosion of manners :ifthemaker havcfciU 
jn*m, « fl *w^nf rh« rhrumav wortbilv taxebim: but jf not, why— oe 





I f 


VI i 




.■liu". M Ay,gods-pretious,if the weather and feafonbeefo refpcaienc, # 

bc£g ers fhall live as well as their betters • and chat my hunger, aw 
thirft for riches, (hall not make them hunger and th if ft with povertie- 

that my fleeocs (hall be broken, and their hearts not broken ; that iff/ 
coffers (hall bee fall, and yetcare • theirs empty, and yet merry 1 "^ 
time, that a croiTe mould bcare flem and blood, fince flefh and blow 
cannot bearc this crofle. 


Mit, What, wiU hee hang Ihimfeife ? ' 
Cor. Faith I, it fecmes his Prognostication has not kept touch ir# 
mm, and that makes him defpahc. 
Mit. Bcihrowe me, he will betnir of hit humour then, indeed 

Every Man out of bis Humour. 

^^^_ ■ ■■■ ■ — ■ m ■ ■ ^^ — ■ — » — -^ ' - ■ "i - Mrf ^m 

Sor. Tut thefe ftar-monger knaves, who would truuVhcm ?. one fayes, 
dirk and rainy, when 'tis as clcarc as chryftall ; another faks,tcmpcftuous 
bhfts, and (formes, and 'twas as calroe as a miik-bowlc j here be facet 
rafcals for a man to credit his whole fortunes with : You skie-ftaring 
cocks-combs you, you fatbraincs, out upon you ; you are good for no- 
thing but to fwcat night-caps, and make rug-gownes dcare ! You learned 
men* and have not a legion oUcvitts, a voftreftrvice I avojlrefirvicel 
by heaven, 1 think I fliall die a better fchollcr than they ! but foft, ho.v 


H i n e . Here's a letter come from your ionne , (if . 

Sord. From my fonnc, fir ? what would my fonne, fir? fome good 

newes, no doubt. 

Sweet and dcare father (defirwg youfirft to [end me your bleflmg, which is 
more worth to me than gold or filver ) / defireyou Ukewt[e to be Adverti[ed , that 
this Shrovetide (contrary to cuflomc) ipe ufedlwayes to have revells • which is 
indeed dancing , and mates an excellent fyew in truth ; e[peciaUy if we gentle- 
menbewellattird, which our [eniors note , and .th ink the better of our fathers, 
the (xtter we are maintain 'd, and that they fall know if they come up , and have 
any thing to doe in the law : therefore, good father, the[e are {for your owne[ahe 
well as mine )to re-de fire you • that you let menfitmnt that which is fit for 
the fet ting up of our name, in the honourable volume of gentilitie., that I may 
fay to our calumniators, with Tullie , Ego fum ortus dotnus mea», tu occa- 
fus tux . And thin ( not doubting of your fatherly benevolence ) I humbly aske 
loublefsing- and pray God.tobleffe you. . ■ 

J J ^ f J Tours, if his own. 

How's this 1 rourt, if his owne? is he not my fonne, except he be his ownc 
fonne ? Belike this is fome new kind of fubfeript ion the. gallants ufe. WcH 
wherefore doeft thou ftay, knave? Away: goe. Here s .a ■ letter indeed.' 
revells ? and benevolence ? is this a weather to fend benevolence ? or is this 
a feafon to rcvell in ? 'Slid the devil andall takes part tovexe me, I think I 
this letter would never have come now clfe, now, now, when the funne 
fliines, and the aire thus cleare. Soule, if this hold, we fhall (hortly have 
an excellent crop of corne fpring out of the high waves: the ftreets,and 
houfes of the towne will be hid with the ranknelte of the fruits, that grow 
therein fpight of good husbandry. Goe to, Tie prevent the fight of it, 
come as quickly as it can, 1 will prevent the fight of it. I have this remc- 
die, heaven. Stay; l'le trie the paincthus a little, 6, nothing, nothing. 
Well now ! (hall my fonne gaine a benevolence by my death ? or any body 
be the better for my gold, or fo.forth ? No. Alive, I kept it from'hem, and 
(dead ) my shod (hall walk about it, andprefcrvc it, my fon and daugh- 
ter (hall ftarvc ere they touch it, I have hid it as deep as hell from the fight 
of heaven, and to it i goe now. 


in. Scene 

Rust i. ci. 

VII 1. 

i n 


Fall, of. 




So*-'sa man has hang'd himfelfe, help to get him againe. 

° l 3 Rust.2. 

-^fM^Tont of [5 Bmour. 
&v*v — _-.. f . --r him aforc a 


I J5 


t * 

CIS cl: 

" . -a himicltc ? SIM carry him aforc 

medley, o m y^° v r ^ what 's here to doe ? 

Rusri How S»22S W«ftl fe > contrary to order of Uw 5 
RusT.a. One has exec* ^ 

by my coDlcbt fcc M *» ift cjfe to an f VV er it. 

went the foot-way, neighbour. 


Ian tell you. . horfe-bread-cating rafcalls, if you rcoull 

Sord. You thrcd-barc bore urea 5 fe ^ ^ 

needs have becne meddling, could you not nav 

cut k ? andinthem^fttoo- Aym^. Dol hovv ^^ 

* IC3 ! I , and to fave fo wretched » caytife J 

Rh«t 1 Curft be thy fingers that loos d him. u,«,j- 

Rusxt. Somedefperateturie poflcfle thee, that thou matftbaogdv 

61 fe • Never maift thou be favd , that fav'd fo damn d a monftcr. 

Sord . What curfes bicathe thefc men ! how have my deeds 
Made my lookes differ from another mans, 
That they fht>aJd thus deleft, and lothc my life! 
Out on my wretched, humour, it is that 
/Vfakes mc thus monftrous in true humane eyes,. 
Pardon mee (gentle friends ) Tie make faire mends 
For my foule errors paft, and twenty-fold 
Reftore to all men, what with wrong I rob'd them: 
My barncs, and garners (hall ftand open ftill 
To all the poore that come , and my bed grainc 
Be made almes-brcad,to feed balfe-famiihtmouthcs. 
Though hitherto amongft you I have liv'd, 

Like an uofavourie muck-hill to my fclfe. 

Yet now, my eathct'd heapes being fpread abroad, 

Shall turne to better, and more fruitfull ufes. 

Blclfc then this man, curfe him no more for faving 

My life, and foule together. O, how deeply 

The bitter curfes of the poore doe pierce ! 

I am by wonder chang'd j come in with me 

And witnctTe my repentance : now I prove, 

. No life isbleft, that is not grae'e with love. 

Kus i. 2.0 miracle! fee when a man ha's grace! , . 

* uvr -> Had't not becne pitty, fo good a man (hould have bcci* 

RUST- 1 ' 

"IfuTr.a. Well, l'le get our clarke put his convcrfton in the Ah^nd 


Rust. 4. Doe, for I warrant him hec's a M^-y. 

Rust. 2. Ogod, howhec wepr, ifycu mark I it \ did you fee how $e 

teares trill'd ? , • . , 

Rust. 5. Yes, bclccve me, like matter vicars bpwles upon the grccne, 

for all the world. J : ... 

s . or 4. O neighbour, god's bleffing o your heart, neighbour, nv*s 

a good gratcfull deed. 

G R E X. 

Cor. How now, Mttts ?' what'sthat you.confider fo fcrioufly ? 
Mit. Troth, that which doth ciTcntially pkiic me, the warping con- 


thought 1 had had a hand of him, then. _ 

Cor. What ? you fuppos'd he fliould have hunghimfche indeed > 
Mit. I did,and had tram* J my objection to itrcady , wiuch may y$t 
be very fitly urg'd, and with fomc neccflity : for though his purpos d vio- 
lence loft th' erTea,and extended not to death,yet the intent and horror or 
the ob jeft, was more than the nature of a Comxdie will jn any fort admit. 
Cor. I ? what think you of Pl autus, in his Comedy called meU 
/.irra, there ? where he brings in Al en s 1 m archus with a drawne .fword 
ready to kill himfclfc, and as he is e'en fixing his bread upon ic,to be rc- 
Arain'd from his refolv'd outrage, by Silenium, and the bawd : is not 
his aurhoririe of power to give our Scene ippxqbit ion? ^ 

Mit . Sir, I have this only evafion left me, to fay, / think tt tit- 
deed, your memory is happier than mine • but I wonder, what engine hce will 
ufc to bring; the reft out of their humours! ../ . . 2. 

Cor. that will appeare anon, never prcoccupic your imagination 
withal!. Let your mind keepc company with the Sew ft ill, which now 
removes it felfe from the countrey, to the court. Here comes Macilen- 
te, and fignior Brisk, fredily futed, lofe not your felfe, for now the 
Epitafis, or bufic part of our fubjec"t,- is in aft. 

M 1 1 1. Scene i& 

Macilente. Briske,-Cinbdo, S a v I o l i n a. 

Fast. \ /\ 7 Ell, now, fignior Maciiente, you are not only wcl- 
V V come to the court, but alfo to my nuftris withdrawing 
chamber .-Boy, get me fome tabacco, l'le but goc in, and lnew I an 
here, and come to you prcfentlv, fir. 

Mac 1. What's that he fa id? by heaven, I markthim not r 
My thoughts and I , were of another world. 
I vyas admiring mine owne out-fide here, 
To think what priviledec, and palme it bcares 
Here, in the court ! Be a man ne're fo vile 
In wit, in judgement, manners,- or what clfe;- 



Every Man mj>rj!z. 

ff tee can W^JSb &V***P$a 

Hec null not Arto'c! & ^ clad, 


Though «« c /° "t'LUing b*. his b 

A fcl&r (that *%*£%, "guts » bcere) 
Or how to nnce his J» ^ ot the &«, 

Will take him bjf*^^,. Such 
And kick ^Sfes!, 

Ips in 6£din*. 

He Irtei, «,,, 

Will take him 

And kick hi* - , h j ba na , na, n*, 

Of venue, in bad $ tn ^ £, 

That niment fl loma x fl ld put off 

Wnw long mould I DC, crc i th( Z skrives pofts? 

Thrfe V I could well indure to --^'commend 

^Sffiffi KSfi -to*, long, fir , but is my. 

bacco ready, boy ? 

FasT ' Gitme,my mi Ms is upon comming, you (hall .fee her™ 
T. I, I'^nvoulfavvounevcraccoftedamore piercing wit. This 
fently fir, (Jsb.) you nay yo oh, your win o( 

tabacco is ^**^fc„te,Utb«lne-s»« 7 quiVerof jefk! 
^XtfhraC^ith that fweet loofe, and ,udiciaU ** 

FffiffifiS^V^ bogd dfe - 

Savi. Give mee my fanne there. 

M\ci How now, Monfieur Brisk e ? 

Fast.* A kind ofaffeftionate reverence ftrikes mcvvith a cold Art- 

tln |lSr H^fuch tempers well, as ft and before their miftrelTes mtb 
feare and trembling,and before their maker, like impudent mountaincs. 

East. By this hand, l'ld fpend twentie pound my vauting-hotU 
flood here now, (hec might fee raee doe but one trick. 

Mao. Why, do's fhe love a&ivitie? 

Cine. Or if you had but your long (lockings on, to be dancing 

galliard, as (hec comes by. ., 

Fast . I,eyther. 0,thcfc ftirring humours make ladies mad with dcUrc- 

fhe comes. My good Gen'ius embolden me, boy, the pipe quickly. 
Maci. What? will he give her mufick ? 

Fast. A fecond good morrow to my faire miftris. i 

Savi. Faire fervant, Vie thank you a day hence, when the date 

your falutation comes forth. 

Fast. How, like you that anfwere ? is'c not admirable ? 

" • ----- - - triflcSj f f r. 

Maci. I were a fimple courtier, if 1 could not admire ■.»«— ,--- . 
Fast. Troth,fwcet lady, Khali (Tab.) be prepar'd to give you fl«w» 
fonbofc thanks, and {Tub.) ftudie more officious, and obfcquious* 



<nrds (Tab.) to your faire beauties. (Tab.) mend he pipe boy. 
g Maci • I ne're knew tabacco taken as a j>armbefis , before. 
Fast Fore God ( fweet ladie ) bclcevc it, I doc honour the mcaneft 

^S^^Wi^S fi. i &m *»**i*» 

rufh, before my love. ; 

Maci. Is this the wonder of nations? , 

F "st. O, by this aire, pardon me, I faid, for your love, by this light: 

but it is the accuftomed fharpneiTe of your ingenuitie, fweet miftreflc, 

to -MalTeyourvioll's new llrung, me thinks. „.»**«*«• 

Maci IftgBuitie.l I fee his ignorance wdl. not fuffer him to flander thtv:aUta rj 

ler, which h? had done moft notably, if he had faid wit, for ingenuitie, m^mm 

" j&faS* the fouleof mufick, ladie ( hum,b«m.) 

S *vi . Would we mipht heare it once. - 

Fast I doe more adore , and admire your ( bum, hum ) predominant 

perfections, then (bum, bum ) ever I (hall have power, and facultie to 

cxprelTc ( hum. ) 

S * v I . Upon the violl de Gambo, you meane ? 
Fast. It's miferably out of tunc, by this hand. 
Savi. Nay,rather by the fingers. 

Maci. It makes good harmonic with her wit. 
Fast. Sweet lady, tune it. Boy,fome tabacco. . _ 

/Maci Tabacco againe ? he do's court his miftrene witli venc excee- 
ding good changes. • ■ ' ■ £ . ' . , 
FAsT.SigniorMACiLENTE,youtakenone,fir ? (r^O . 

Maci. No, unleffe I had a Miftrefle - y figmor, it were a great inde- 
corum for me to take tabacco.^ 

Fast. How like you her wit ? (TO.; 
Maci. Her ingenuitie is excellent, iir. 
FAST.Youfeethefubjeaofherfweetffngers.therc^^ • 

Oh fhee tickles it fo, that(r^.)(hee makes it laugh moft divinely ;(Tab.) 
retell you a good jeft now, and your felfe (hall fay it's a good one : I have 

Fast. O, no, fir, tobeinufc I afiure you; asyoyr jmheiom eyes may 

tcftine.(74*.) . . 

Savi. Here, fervant, if you will play, come. ■ 

F 1st. Inftaily, fweet ladie. (^f. ) In good faith, here s,m ft divine 

tabacco! ; ' : 

Savi. Hay, I cannorftay to dance after your pipe. 

Fast. Sood ! nay, deare ladie , ftay : by this iweet fmoake, I think 
your wit be all fire. (7-^.) 

M aci . And , hec s the Salamander belongs to it. 

Savi. Is your tabacco perfum'd, fervant ? that you fwcarc by the 

W Fast? Still more excellent '.(before heaven, and thefc bright Jigbts) 

4 m- — — ^ ■ ^ ' ' - 9 

6 abominabl< 



>7T\'ViU your teffiiWp ^gn6tthebriatbofi woodcocks head, 

Fast. Meaning W*"** % .'but ( as it were fatall to their follies that 
Savi. Not altogether^ ' taknbacc0) vvhcn t hey wane better 

think to grace thcmfclvcs ^arcs thc „ ue formc f a WOod 

entcttainrocnt ) you lee you i r 

cockshead. h u/; ra ;iel 

SaV1 ' I^rh fed e admired lady-vvrits, that having fo good a plaine- 
MAC!. Arc rbctet nc j An her efts arcof lhe ft 

(** . r^lhnrs wonder at fo? . ■ . ._ I 

not for a million, go 


MtT What followes next, fignior Cordatus > this gallants hj. 
mour is almoft fpent, me thinks, it ebbes apace, with this contraric breath 

°*CaT O but it will flow againe for all this, till there come a general 
drouehtofhumour among all our A6tois,and then, I fcare not but his will 
rallas low as any. Sec, who prefents himfelfc here . 

Mit. Whaty ltte old cafe? _ 

Cor. Y faith, which makes it/the more pittifull ; you underfund 

where thc Scene is ? 

— .- 

* * r 


i * 

Adt iv* Scene t 

Ball ace* 'Fusooso 

11 v ■ -I \ 


^■v ■ a 

Hy are ybufo rriclaiJchoIyi brother ? 
f Fung. I am not melancholy, I thank you, fiftcr. 

,,Fal. Why are you not merrie then ? there arc but 
two of us irtalithe world, and if .we fhould not be comforts one toanfr 
ther, God help us. 

Fung . Faith, I cannot tell^ fiftejvbut if a mm had any true' roclancbo- 
Iv in him, it would makdhira melancholy* to fee his ycomanty .father cut 
his neighbours throats, to mike his fonne a gentleman : and yc.r whenl* 
has cm hem, he will feejhis fonnes throat cut too, ere he make luma.truc 
gentleman indeed \. before death cut c his owne throat. I mvrft be 11 
head of our houfe, and yet he will not give me the head till I be made <jj 

Is any man tcrm'd a gentleman that isnotalwayes i' the fafnfon ? I *°® 
know but that. 

Fax, If ypu bee melancholy for that, brother, 7 tfuflfc X have a' 
mutfa caufetobc melancholy, li one-tfor llebe/'-vorne, I live as little* 
the faOuon, as any woman ihXo»«fc», By the fiii'n of a gentlewoman, 

>cait that 1 am to fay it) I ha not one friend i the world befides my h° ' 

• . band- 

Eyery Man out of bis Humour. 

J iv 

. _-« r M «r.urmft-crF\sTlDius Briskh, brother? 

this hand,l could ffeht with all my heart, me thinks. 
' F\i- Nay good brother, be not rcfolutc. > 

Fung, ir/nthim a letter, and he writes me no anfwerneuher. 
Fm Oh fweet Fastidius Bxiske! 6 fine courtier Ithou art bee 
mak'ft mee fieb, and fay, how blefied is that woman that hatha eta*. 

majwii nice u r ii, ai j 5 •r—U-. A J..rvw> (U,>p c rWfi.irh neirht-r 

damti he carves ! how fweetly he ralkcs,and tels newes of this lord mi 
of that lady / how clcanely he wipes his fpoonc, at every fpooncfull ot any 
S eates, and what a neat cafe of pick-tooths he carries about 
him,itilll O, fweet F AST i d m. ! o, fine courtier. 

All iv. Seine ri* 

De l i ro, Musicians, Maci lent n, Fun go so.' 

QEe,yondcr (hec is, gentlemen. Now, (as ever you'll bea re the name of 
^muiicians) touch your inftruments fweetly, (hec has a delicate care, I 
tell you : play not a falfc note, I befcech you. 

Musi. Fearc nor, iignior Deli Ro: . 

Dei i. O, begin, be b gin, fomc fprightly -thing ; : Lord how my imagi- 
nation labours wlth'theluccelTe of it! Wellfaid go od yfaith / heaven 
grant itpleafeher. ncnotbefecnc,forthenlheelcbefiretod^ 

Fal Hey— da! this is excellent ! He lay my life, this is my husbands 
dotage.' I thought fo 5 nay, never play boe-peep with mc, I know, you 
doe nothing but ftudie how to anger mc, far. , . ■• 

Deli. ^Anger thee, fweet wife! why didft thou not fend for muficrans 

to fuppcrlaft night, thy felfe? 

FAL To fuppcr, ilr? now, come u Pf to fuppcr, I befcech you : as. 
though there were no difference between (upper time when folkes ^ ftouW 
bemerrv, and this rime when they (hould be melancholy ? I would never 
take upbn me to take a wife, if I had no more judgement to pleafe her 

Deli. Be pleas'd, fweet wife, and they (hall ha done : and would to 
fate, my life were done, if I can never pleafe jhec. 

Maci. Save you, lady, where is mafter Del iro ? 

Deli. Here, mafter Macilente : you are welcome ^from courr_ 
fir ;noboubt you have bcene grace exceedingly of mafter B^ mi 

ftris and thc reft of the ladies,for his fake ? 

Maci. Alas, the ^oorepbant^irk < bee $ fcarce knowne 
To any ladic there ; and thofe that know him, 
Know him the fimpleft man of all they know: 
Deride, and play upon his amorous humours, 
Though hee but apilhly doth imitate 
The gallant' ft courtiers killing ladies pumps, 
Holding the cloth for them, praifing their wits,' 
And fcrvilely obferving every one, 


I 2° 



Fai . 

to 2 fe» 

™ iSkfaii ip«^" wrctch ! thc i°°r gcn,lc " u » 

.\°:° rnmoanion (bccaufc my husband, put hi mi , 

an envious 

• bm't 


-7-7 rTfratefuII to be fcenc 

May doc them plcalure : gg?^ fo worthy ) 

yVJ h any man ( tb0 "f (hnicr h.itarcthcgteate(l:. 
That's not in grace with ion luuerfci[Sj • 

Tlu,scourticisdoe : an thdc 

But fets not fuch a W thcmfdvcs j 
Upon their vanme^- J. f indccd 

Hecslifcc the ^Jg » f» makc racn laugh. 

^ • 1 u;mhicrnmoanion (became niy uu»u«*aj ^u L 1 

l,,irt Tn dr£wfe K unmWcallb'ack-bireshim. 
-'' vr '' S M trmoSIamongft 'hem then? fay you? . 
?"* i ?mT?Sw^ at c4 = tills uparoomc.thafs all. 
^r o mont, P of men I cfn the earth bcare fuch 

" y Dn I Well, I repent me 1 ere credited Mm fo much : but (flow 1 fe 
, 11. ,„5VhM his masking vizor is oft )I le forbcarc him no longer. 

his in my ha 

two hundred 

in a new fate. Well, 

^NUci e Why"you may foonc fee him, fir, for hce is to meet fignio; 
Pu n t a r v o l o ,at a Nctaries, by thc Exchange , prefent ly : where he mcancs 

totakeup,upon returne- J 

F*l. NowiOutuponthccJuDAS 5 canft thou not be content to back- 
bite thy friend, but thoa muft betray him? wilt thou fceke the undoing 
of any man ? and of fuch a man too ? and will you, ftr, get your liv- 
ing by thc counfell of traytors ? 

Deli. Deare wife, have patience. 

Fal . The houfe will fall, thc ground will open, and fwallow us •" lie 
not bide here, for all the gold and filvcr in heaven. 

Deli. O, good Macilknti, let's follow and appeafe her, ortw 
peace of my life is at an end. 

Maci. Now peafc, and not peace, feed that life, whole head hang? 
fo heavily over a womans manger. 

Fal. Help me, brother: 'ods body, an you come here, tie doc"? 

lelfe a mifebiefc. . 

Deli. Nay,hcarc me, fweet wife, unlefle thou wilt have me goc» l 
will not goe, 

Fal. Tut, you fhall nercha" that vantage of me, to fay, you arc W 

done by me : lie not bid you ftay, I. Brother, fweet brother, here's tour 

angels, Me give you towards your futc: for the love of gentry, and as c« 

you came of chriften creature, make hafte to the water fide '( you kno 

where Matter Fastidius ufes to land) and eivc him warningof ■")' ,uv 


•-/, ■ «omu nave writ to him, but that thc neceffitie of the time vw- 
not permit. He cannot choofc but take it extraordinarily from arc : ** 



commend me, to him, good brother* fay, I font you 

Fung Let me fee, thefc fourc angels, and then forty (hilling* more 
I ran borrow on my gownc in Fetter-lane. Well, 1 will goe prcfently, fey 
on'myfure, pay as much money as 1 have, andfwearemy fclfe into credit 
with mvtay lor for the reft. 

Del. 0,on my foule you wrong her, Macilente. K*5?£ 

Though fnc be frbward, yet 1 know flic is honeft. va A \ R * r< 

Ma ci . Well, then have I no judgement : would any woman (but one 
that were wildc in her affections) have broke out into that immodeft and 
violent paffionagainft her husband: oris tpofliblc , j n. ti 

Del. I f you love me, forbcarc ; all thc arguments i'thc world (nail 
never wrcft my heart to belccvc it. on 


Cor. How like you thc decyphering of his dotage ? 
Mit. O, ftrangcly ! and of the others envie too, that labours fo feri- 
oufly to let debate betwixt a man and his wife.Stay,hcre comes thc knight 


Cor. I, and hisfcrivener with him. 




e 111. 

♦ & * 

Punt arvolo, N ot'a ry,'C arlo, , ' 





o t . With all my heart, fir; and-l'ie fall in hand with 'hem prfeently. 

un. Well then, firft the fummels< to be understood. 

Wonder, Mounficur Fastidius comes not! but,NoTARY,if thou 
plcafc to draw thc indentures the while, I will give thee thy in- 



Not. Good, fir. 

Pun. Next,' our feverall appellations, and character of my dog and 

eat, muft beknowne: (hew him the cat firrah. 
Not. So, fir. 
Pun. Then, that the intended bound, is the TurJts court in Conftantt- 

nofle : the time limited for ourrctu'rne,. a yeare : and that if either of us 
mifcarry,thc whole venter is loft. Thefearc generall, conceiv'ft thou > or 

if cither of us turne 'tarke. 
Not. I, fir. 
Pux. Now for particulars : That I may makc my travels by feaor land, 

to my beft liking : and that (hiring acoach for my fclfe) itihuDbc lawful! 

formydoggc,orcat, or both, to ride with me in the (aid coach. 

Not. Very good, fir.. ' - • ■ 

Pun. That I may choofc to doggc, or car,fii"h, for fearc of 

bones: or any other nutriment, that (that by the judgement of the moftau 

thenticall phyfitians, where I travell) (hall be thought dangerous. 

Not. Well, fir. 

Pun. That (after the rcccit of his money) hcfhallneitncriiihisowne 
pcrfon, not any other, cither by dircft, or indirect mcancs, as magick 
witchcraft, or other fuch exotick arts, attempt, pradifc, or c'omplota. 

M t^ li 




U — -^^^-T— r^loScormycat: Neither Oiall I ufc tlle 

,,.»,. ,„ the prejudice of me, "«^ nt5> as unftions, to make out ski„ s 
hlof »«y«** forCCrl ".^ 1 inrifible by venue of a powder, or a , ln& 
impenetrable , or ">*»^ U ( C D e about my clogs nccke, fecietly co „. 

veyd into his collar (" n0 ' 
,,withoutfraud,or«"P oftuIC - 

• Not. So,iir- f tbc performance) my felfe am tobtmj 

?n Hi That (forteW ^ J achates lip, and my eat I 

Mot. NV ?W r ;. Hf before oll r departure, or fctting forth, either my 

Pun. Provided, ^jgBJS or any other cafuali event, fotbt 

felfe, orthcfebevi^ ^^ ^ 

equalltcrracs. . j,-.-lla 

Tar Mot'I: did heappointybu,tomeet here? 

Pun. Mni I mufc b/Likf be fo tardy : he is to take an hu*l 
poundsof me in venter, if he maintaine his promile. 

Car. Ishrshourepaft? 

Pun. Nor yet, but it comes on apace. 

Gar. Tut/be not jealous of him ; he mil fooner break e ail the com- 

mandemenrs, than his houre; upon my life, in fuch a cafe trult lura. 
P u s\ Me think*, Carlo, you looke very fmooth ! ha > 
Car. Why I came but now from a hot-houfc, I mult needs lootf 

fmooth . 
P u n . Prom a hot-houfc! 

Car. I, doc you make a wonder on't > why it's your only phyiicke. L« 
a man fwcat a wceke in a hot-houfc, and be well rub'd, and froted, with 
a good plumpc juicy wench, and fwcet linnen : he fhall ne're ha the 

Pun. What, the French pox ? 

C a r. The FrtiKfr pox! our pox. We have 'bem in as goodfom* 
as they, man : what? 

Pun. Let me periih,but thou art a fait one ! was your new-created gal- 
lant there with you? Sogliardo ? 

Car. O, porpufe ! hanghim, ro : : he's a lciger at Homes ordinaryy? ' 
dcr : hisvillanous Ganimede and he ha becne droninga tobacco p»r* 
there ever fin yeftcrday noonc. 

Pun. Who? Signior Tripartite, that would give my dogge ® l 

Car. Iyhe, They have hir'd a chamber^ nd all private to practifc in> ^ 

tTTmakine of the PatoUn, the Rceeit reciprocal!^ a number of othc i 
mvfteries, not yet extant. I brought fome dozen, or twentie eallants tins 
Zoning to view 'hem (as you'ld doe a piece of Perfptttrye) in at a key- 
Lie • md there we might fee Sogli ardo fit in a cha ire holding his 
foowt up like a fowunder an apple-tree, while th* other opend h,s .loftril* 
with a pokine-ftick, to give the fmoke a more free del iverie. They had fpic 
fome three or fonrefcofc ounces between 'hem, afore we came away. 
Punt. How! fpit three or fourefcore ounce? , 

Car. I,' and preferv'd it in porrengers, as a barber docs his bloud, 

when he opens a vcinc. \ . 

Punt Out, Pa\an : how do ft thou open the vewe of thy friend? 
Car. Friend *>j$ there any fuch fool ilh thing nhe world? ha? Slid 

Inc'rercllifhtit yet. . 

Punt. Thy humour is the more dangerous. - 

Car". No, not a whir, Signior : Tut, a man muft keep time in ill. 
1 can oyle my tongue when I meet him next; and look with a good flick 
fore-head- Will take away all foyle of fufpicion, and that's ynough: 
what Lyncfus can fee my heart ? Pifli , the title of a friend , it s a vaine 
idle thing, only venerable among fooles : you fhall not have one that lias 
any opinion of wit affect it. 


AB i v. Scene i v. 

Deliro, Macilente.' 

SAveyou, good fir Puntarvoio. 
Punt. Signior Deliro! welcome. , 
Deli. Pray you, fir, did you fee Matter Fastidius Briske ? I heard 
he was to meet your worfhip here. • ■ 

Punt . You heard no figment, fir, I doc expert him at every pullc Or 

my watch. • 

Deli. Tn good time, fir. ' • *•. . . ' 

Car. There's a fellow now, looks like one of the Patrutans of Sparta 
many his wit's after ten i'the hundred :a good bloud-hound,a clofe-moutn d 
doeee, he followes the fent well , marry he's at a fault now, me th .inks . 
pSnt. 1 fliould wonder at that creature is free from the danger ot 

1 ^Tr 8 . 0* I cannot abide thefc limmes of fattin, or rather J^a* in- 
deed, that'll walke ( like the children of darknelTc ) all day in a melancho- 
ly (hop, with thcir.pockcts full of blankes, rcadie to' (wallow up as ma- 
ny poore unthrifts, as come within the verge. 
Punt. So land what haft thou for him that is with him, now? 

Car. O, (dam' me) Immortalitie \ l'lc not meddle with him, tnc 
pure element Of fire , all fpirit, extra«5tion. 

Punt. How, Carlo ?ha,what is he, man? 

Car. A fcholler, Macilente, doe you not know him? a ianke 
raw-bond anatomic, he walkcs up and downe like a chargd musk^r, no 
man dares encounter him: that's his reft there. 

Punt . His reft ? why has he a forked head ? . ' . 

Car. Pardon me, that's to be fiifpended, you nrc- too qnickc, too 
apprehenfive. • p . f , 

To tl'tm 




S^ !m0 "'- 

i , 7 r1 Tic c'cfcrrc it till fome other time, 

.....linolvoilaKlniy w". 1 .. fot nun 

W "' "7 n«cl» "wic'j a'o'"mJ fto) «ith the feoneiifi 
fclfe to be thus P^XU a ftairc S) to fctve her afeftons * Slight 


M - 

nal Y orfciKlmy«' i,c Jfo;n«mc.lofe-thcfc thoughts ;, and beco.* 
5SS5 ir* ? .^Should I (if I M a ȣ) fuff.r , 

the maacrofyov;r 

ftgff P^£ fif hi you fueh a wife as mine wouU-^ 
Dr...- Obm,C>ff}[° ''^J° m , f lr> if ever I dtlccin d any wonfe 
; t ' ACI . Such a «*«S ion 1 have: I have fene feme fc 

ji v o,.r wife, yet, ^. ** V 1 fl c in my time ( »«d I b Wf «WK diofi^tr 
ia'beene thought farter an the " ? womc „ ; and I have fecn« 

„ot been *Pt^^HgXS£ done very «ell too, in my jl% . 
SS, 1 -Id BSSSft* -ry not fo pecrlefle.y to bee k 

■5 ^ttfe^W?^ to forget yout fclfe) I have « I 
, Dr ' l l - hirtaoaTd upon. bit henceforth, ptay you foriwit-l 

Maci. Nay.tucu, B > ,,„^/i,, ,Wsmore, which von* 

an and bv my life ffufpefthet honefty, that s more, you« 
K P a (ifyou ple'afe Odoe youfee J lie utge you to nothrng 
S out appetite>'t if yoti pleafe, you may fufped n. 




gainltyour appet 

WlTci. G^d fir? Now home upon home purfue thee, thou blind e 

gr CaT ofyou mall hcare him fpeak like ennie. Signior Mm2«* 
te, youfaw monfieur Brisk* lately ? I .heard .you were mtuniD 

at court. I,BuvvoxE, Iwas.wuhbirn; - - ■ 

C a R And how is he refpefled there ? ( I know you le dcale ingw 
ouily with us) is he made of amongftthc fweetcr fort of gallants. 

Maci. Faith I, his civet and his cairing-glafle, 
Have helpt him to a place amongft the reft: . 
And there, his Seniors give him #ood Height looks, 
After their garbe, fmile, and falute in ■Fre/ff.b 
With foine new complement. 

Car. What, is this all ? 

Maci. Why lay, that they rtiould ihew the froth ie foole> 
Such grace as they pretend comes from the heart, ' 

Hee had a mighty wind-fall out of doubt. 

Why, all their Graces are not to doe grace 

To venue, or defeit : but to ride both 

With their gilt fpuns quite breathkiTc, from themfclves. 

Us now efteem'd Precifianifmt in wit 
And adifeafe in nature, to be kind * 




Toward defert, to love, or fcekc good names . \ 

\Vho feeds with a good name ? who thrives with loving. 

Who can provide fcaft for his owne defircs ,- 

Wiih ferving others ? ha,ha, ha : 

'Tis folly, by our wifeft worldlings prov'd, 


Car. Howlikeyouhimpis'tnotagoodfpitefullllaveJria? 

Punt. Shrewd, (hrewd. • ; 

Car. Dam' me, I could care his fle(h now: divine fweet villaine! 

Maci. Nay, pry thee leave: what's he there? 

Car. Who ? this I'thc ftatcbt beard ? its the dull ftifte knight Buf- 
TARVOLO,man; hee's to travaile now prefently : hce has a good knottie 
wit, marry he carries little o't out of the land, with him. 

Maci. How then? 

Car. He puts it forth in venter, as he does his money-, upon the 

returne of a dogge, and cat. 

Maci. Is this he? 

Car. I, this is bee ; a good tough gentleman : hce looks like a 
ftiieldof bra'wne, at Shrovetide, out of date, and readie to take his leave : 
ora dric poule of ling npon Eajler-eue, that has furnilrit the table all Lent, 
as he has done the citie this laft vacation. .. • - , 

Maci. Come, you'le never leave vour {tabbing {mules: I Jhall ha 
you ayming at me with 'hem by and by, but— * 

Car. O, renounce me then : pure, honeft, good devtu, I love thee 
above the love of women i I could e'ene melt in admiration of thee, now . 
gods fo, look here, man ; Sir Dago net, and his fquirc ! 

AB rv. Scene v. 

Sogliardo,- Shift. 

SAvc you, my deare Gall ant o's : nay, come approach, good Cava- 
lier : pr'y thce(6veet knight)know this gentleman, he's one that it plea- 
fes me to ufe as my good friend, and companion-, and therefore doe him 
cood offices : I befeech you, gentles, know him, know him all over. 

Punt. Sir(forftgniorSoGLiARDo's fake) let it fuffice,! know you. 

Soc. Why ( as I am a gentleman) I thank you, knight, and it 
ftullfuffice. Harkc you, fir Punt ARvoLO,youid little think it ; hes as 
refolutc a pcece of flefh, as any i'the world. 

Punt. Indeed, fir? _ 

Sog. Upon my gcntilitie, fir: Carlo, a word with you 5 Doc you 

fee that fame fellow, rhere ? ; 
Car. What? Cavalier Shift? 
Sog. 0,you know him-, crie you mercy: before me, I think him 

the talleft man, living within the walls of Europe. i < 

Cati. The walls- of Europe 1 take heed what you fay, fignior, tu- 

rope's a huge thing within the walls. r 

Sog. Tut, (an 'twere as huge againe) I'ld juftific what I Ipcak. 

'Slid, he fwaggcr'd eene now in a place where we were ; I never law a man 

doe it more refolutc. . - 

" M 5 Car * 


To tbttn 




xi — ZiTofbif Humour- 

Every A^^Lt^S 

p^ou bel« «fc ggart fucb ud a y togs, 

The name of manhood > def d . 

(Hating to (hew = W«^ , 6Ue }„ft caufe) 
Heart, I doe know now a t 

1 date doe mom than he, kA of thls , ha i 

Why tould not they ^ ^ h is , 

*"* fl? Snot W ! Now the poxe 

lX°on yom «**«« PJ.°Tl- beene the only *«*/«* that «, 

To. toy, i tcl 'r«\i ;« hX v lehoie, art-mim 

W »<**»¥, S t l ^: f Xl tad hi/mates and to gcldmgs, he, K 
high places of any 'equeft -ta * bu " drcd pound a hotfe, would ha fntunj 
belne wotth jortte thteefco«,a hun P^. hc has done Mm 

Punt . What ? and fcapt ? , . . . ^ c ^ as bcenc in 

nH^PaS^ty dearc Orestes : Caufcs have theft ,«* 
and 'tis ill jetting with bell-ropes. 

s c o A o R : ^L^¥SS^ffi!S « .b o««~; how likcy0B 

^CaTo, it's an old ftale entetlude device : No, He give you naj^ 
myfclfc^ookyou^c toll be your Judas, and you (hall be his EW 

"m acu Ty^'rathet, let him be captain Pod, and this his M«i»> 

for he does nothing but fhew him. . 

Car. ExccUentTorthus,you (hallbe Hold en, and he your Cam* 

Ship. You doe not meaneto ride, gentlemen? 

Punt. Faith, let me end it for you, gallants t you (hall be his t#» 
W4»«,andheyouri?c/o/«r^i £ • 

So c . Trothjthats pretty : how fay you, Cavalier, (halt be lo ? 

Car, I,I,moft voyees. 

Shif. Faith, I am eafily yeclding to any good impremons. 

Soc Then give hands, good Resolution. . ^ 

Car. Maflc, he cannot fay, good Countenance, now ( properly; 
him againc. 

Punt. Yes,by an Irony. m . [0 , 

M aci . O, fir, the countenance of Resolution fhould, as he is , oe 
gcthet grim, and unpicalant. x *s jfi, 

Every Man out of bit Humour, 



Act iv. Scene vi. 

Fastidius Briske. 

Ooi hourcs,makc mufickwith your mirth , gentlemen, and keepe 
— time to your humours : how now, Carlo? 
fc Punt. Monfieur Briske ! many a long lookc have I extended for 

vou, fir- . . , , . 

' Fast. Good faith I muft crave pardon ; I was invited this morning 

erel wasOut of my bed, byabevie of ladies, to a banquet: whence it was 
almoftone of Hercules labours for me, to come away, but that the re- 
fpea of my promifc did fo prevaile with me. I know they le take it very 
ffl,efpcciaUy one, that gave me this bracelet of her. haire but over-night, 
andrhispearleanothergavemefromhcr fore-head, many,mce 

what? are the writings ready ? .*.,«_, u », . • 

Punt. I will fend my man to know. Sirrah, goc you to the Notaries, 

and lcarne if he be ready : leave the dogee, fir. 
Fast. And how does my rare qualified friend, So gliardo? oh, fig- 

nior M acilente ! by thefecyes, 1 fawyounor, I had falutcd you foo- 

ncrclfc,o' my troth: I hope, fir, I may prefumc upon you,tha t you will 

cor divulge my late check, or difgrace (indeed) lir. 

Maci. You may, fir. . ' ' , "' 

Car. Hcc knowes fome notorious jeft by this gull, that he hath 

him fo obfequious. . , . 

Soo. Monfieur FASTiDius,doeyou fee this fellow there? docs bee 
not lookelike a clownc? would you think there were any thing in him? 

Fast. Any thing in him? belTircw me, I : the fellow hath a good in- 

genious face. If r ,. 

Sog. By this element, hc is as ingenious a taU man, aseverfwagger d 

about London : lie, and I, call Countenance, and Resolution, but his name is 

Cavalier Shift. ■-■•> , ' ;j- t'\u- 

Punt Cavalier, you knew fignior Clog, that was hangd tor the 

robbery, at Harrow o the hill? , 

Sog! Knew him, fir i why/twashc gave all the direaions for the aftion. 

Punt. How ? was it your projett, fir ? 

Ship. Pardon me, Countenance, you doc me fome wrong to make oc- 
casions publick, which 1 imparted to you in private. 
Sog. Gods will ! here arc none but friends, Refolution. > 

Ship. That's all'oncs things of confcquencc muft have their re- 
fpeds : where, how, and to .whom. Yes fir hee {hewed himfelfea true 
Clog in the coherence of that affaire, fir: for if he J» dm ? M JE d ^" 
as they were corroborated to him, it had bcenc better for ^ * £""> 
or fiftiefcoreof pounds, fir, and hee himfclfe might ha hvd( »^fpighj 
of fates ) to have fed on wood-cocks, with the reft : but it was his heavy 
fortune to finke,poore Clog, and therefore talkcno moreol taau 
Punt ^ Why, had he more aiders, then ? . • 

Sog. Ogod,firll, there were fome prefent there, that were the nine 

Worthies to him, y faith. . c „„,*»-hnr flhr 

Ship. I,fir, I can fat isfie you at more convenient conference butOor 

To tt?W 


I 2 


E^mn m ofJ^Bm^l 

- —Txhave aowre^ciramyfelfc to other courfes, and pro . 

Soo. Nay, he has etc aun ^ ^ lia$t h c moft rare gift in 

a gentleman, by his qualities »7 
tabacco, that ever youkne . -j^y monfter , than ever Ban ke $ 

Car. Hcc keeps a ore ichthc elcphant . 

did wichhis horfc,o rtnc w iaurc(bort w ma cloth, you fhall fee. 

fool * Sec do's manage a quarrell, the U that ever you faw , f 0r 

^^i^n^ior, (now you fpeak of a quarrell ) Tie * 
FA5T . Goocl tai > 6 > t happened bctvvcenc a gallant, and my 

J^^^ToS^ know^m if 1 fhould name him, fignio, 

LU piNT NT L°ucuiENTo! what iiwuifpicious chance intcrpos'd it fclfc 

te K&, the fame that fundred Agamemnon, and great 
TtoWW Sw I b« let the caufecfcapc,fir : Hee fent me a challenge 
Kithforac few braves) which I reftord and m fine we met. Now 
Sfir, (I muft tcllyou ) hedid offer at firft very defperarly, but with- 
out judgment: tor looke you,fir s I caft my felfc into this figure: now he, 
comes violently on,andwithall advancing his rapier to ftnkc, I thought 
to have tookc his arme (for he had left his whole body to my cleCtion^d 
1 was fure he could not recover his guard) Sir,I mift my purpofe m his 
armc,ralht his doublet {lecve,ranhim clofe by the left cheek, and through 
his haire. He againe, lights me here (I had on, a gold cable hatband, then 
new come up, which 1 wore about -a murrey French hat I had) cuts my 
hatband (and yet it was maflie, gold-faiths workc)cuts my brimmes. 
which by good fortune (being thick cmbroydered with gold-twill, ani 
fpanglcs) difappoinrcd the force of the blow : Ncverthelefle, it graz'don 
my moulder, takes me away fixe purlcs of an Italian cut-worke banill 
wore (coftmee three pound in the exchange, but three dates be fore.) 

Punt. This was a orange encounter I 

"Fast. Nay, you (hall heare, fir : with this wee both fell out, and 
breath'd. Now (upon the fecondfignc of his afiault) I bctookc me to the 
former manner of my defence -hee (on the other fide) abandon'd his bo- 
dy to the fame danger,as before, and followes me ftill with blowes : But I 
(being loth to takethe deadly advantage that lay before mee of his left 
fide) made a kind of flramazoun, rannc him upto the hilts, through the 
doublet, through the (birr, and yet mift the skin. Hee (making a rcverfc 
blow) falls upon my embols'd girdle (I hadthrowne off the hangers a lit* 
tic before) ftrikes offa skirt of athick-lac't fattin doublet I had (lin'd 
tvithfome fourc taffataes ) cuts off two panes, embroydered with pcarld 
rends through the drawings out of tiftew, enters the linings, and skip 5 

the flctti. 

- ... I wonder he fpeaks not of his wrought fhirti 

Past. Here (in the opinion of mutuall dammage) wee paus'dibi' 1 

(ere I proceede) I muft tell you, fignior, that (in this laft encounter) njj 

Sri? lc ^ urc f to P ut ^ ff my diver (purrs, one of the rowels catcht hoW 

oi cne tunic of my boot, and (being Sp^nijb leather, and (ubietf to tea*/ 



overthrows me,rends me two pa ire of filkc ftockings (that I out on, be- 
ing fomewhat a raw morning, a peach colour and another) and ftrikes me 
fame halfe inch deepe into the fide of the calfe ; Hee (feeing the blood 
come) prcfenly takes horfc, and away. 1 ( having bound up my wound 
with a pecce of my wrought fhirt) • 

Car. O! comes it in. there? 

Past. Rid .tfter him, and (lighting at the court-gate, both together) 
cmbrac't, and mircht hand in hand up into the prefence. Was not this bu- 

fincfTc well carried? 

Magi . Well ? yes, and by this we can gueffe whatapparell the gentle- 
man wore. •" : - '.' 

Punt. 'Fore valour, it wasa defigncment begun with much refoluti- 
on,mainrain'd with as much prowefie,and ended with more humanitie. 

How now, what faies the NotarM 
Serv. Hcfaus,hcisready,fir,heftaicsbut yourworfhips plcafure. 

Punt. Come, we will goc to him, Monfieur.] Gentlemen, (hall wee 
intrcate you to be witneffes > 
So c . You (hall entreat me, fir : come Resolution. 
Ship. I follow you, good Countenance. 

Car. Come, fignior, come, come. 

Magi. 0,that there mould be fortune 
To cloath tbcfe men, Co naked in defert ! 
And that the juft ftorme of a wretched life, 
Beates 'hem not ragged, for their wretched foules, 
Andjfince as fruitlefie,cven as black as coales ! 


Mit. Why, but fignior, how comes it, that Fungoso appear'dnot 
with hisfifters intelligence, to Briske ? 

Cor. Marry,long oftheevill angels that (Tie gave him, who have in- 
deed tempted the good fimple youth, to follow the taileof the fafhion, 
andncgle&the impofition of his friends. Behold, here hee comes, very 
worftiipfully attended, and with good variety. 

vJfl iv. . Scene vi i. 

Fungoso, Taylor, Shoo-Makef, 


£~!jRamercie, good fhoo-makcr, Tie put to firings my felfe. Now, 

fir, let me fee , what muft you have for this hat ? 

Habe. Here's the bill, fir. 

Fung. How does'c become me ? well ? 

Tay. Excellent, fir, as ever you had any hat in your life. 

Fung. Nay, you'll fay fo, all. 

Habe. In faith* fir, the hat's as goodas any man i' this townecan ferve 
you; and will maintainc fafhion as long : ne're truftmefora groatelfe. 

Fung. Do's it apply well to my fute? 

Tay. Exceeding well, fir. 

Fung. Hq.w lik'ft thou mvfute, habe rd a frier ? 








never faw a fij« 

fit better 

1 can tell, on. 

iter, i «.-» "T'.fc. nn irt to Picaic uui 
NG.Here,haberdato 3 tc ouhav 


e an excellent body. 


Habe. §°°iSSe «JI think I have as good a body m clothes, 

as another. . to br j ng your apparcll together, fir. 

Ta v. You lack pwn£ ^ now ? is - t r ^ t > 

Fung. g^g& Uttlc ,but upon farther hopes-Good m* 

ro VuX U B^vcU 5 good haberda(her. Well, now ntaftcr Snip, let n*e 
fee your bill. c R E X, 

M,r Me thinks he difcharges his followers too thick. 

Cor oSSS he faucily States fome great man. I warrant you, 
ttogh beauts off them, he keeps this taylor,m place of a page, to 

follow him ftill, . , -v , . •; - 

TW This bill is very reafonable, in faith (harke you matter Snip 
Troth fir, 1 m notaltog^ther fo well fomilfc at this present, as I coj 

will! r were, but If you'le doc mec the favour to take part in hand, 

you mall have all 1 have, by this band 

_* f** 

Fung. And, but give me credit for the reft, till the beginning of the 

next tcrme. 

Tay. O lord, fir . , 

Fung . 'Fore god, and by this light, I le pay you to the utmoft,and 

acknowledge my felfe very deeply ingag'd to you, by the courtefie. 
Tay. Why, how much have you there, fir ? 
Fung . Marry I have here foure angels, and fiftecne (hillings of white 

monev : it's all I have, as I hope to be bleft. 
Tay. You will not faile me at the next tcrme, with the red 
Fung. No,an\Idoc, pray heaven, I bchang'd.Letmee never breathe 

againe upon this morta 1Kb ge, as thcPhilofophcr cals it. By this aire) 

(and as 1 am a gentleman) lie hold. 

G R E X. 

Cord. He were an iron-hearted fellow, in my judgement, that would 

not credit him upon his volley of oaths. 

Tay. Well, fir. Tie not ftick with any gentleman for a trifle :you 
know what 'tis, remaines ? 

Fung. I, fir, and I give you thanks in good faith. O fate ! how Itfp* 
py am I made in this good fortune ! Well, now Vie goe feckc out Mon« 
/ieur Briske. 'Ods fo,l have forgot ribband for my (boos, and' point*; 
'Slid, what luck's this ! how (hall i doe ? Mafter Snip, pray let me rcdutj 
fome two or three (hillings for points, and ribband: as 1 am an hone" 


"clT What youlhall think meet i" your judgement, fir, tomyfute. 
Tay. ' Well, 1 le fend you fome prefently. 
Fung. And points too, fir? 

Tay. And points too, fir. . . 

Fung. Gooi lord! how (hall I ftudy todcfervethiskindneireofyou 
fir? Pray let your youth make hafte, for I (hould have donea bufinefie 
an houre fincc, that I doubt I (hall come too late. Now, in good faitb, I 
am exceeding proud of my fute. 

G R E X. 

C o r; Doe you obferve the plunges, that this poore gallant is put to 
(fmnior)topurchafethe fa(hion? . *■ 

Mit . I, and tobe ftill a fa(hion behind with ^the world,that s the fport. 
Cor. Stay : O here they come bom feal J, and deliver d. 


All iv. Sww* vxii. 



vants. Carlo, Sogliardo, Ma- 

' cilente, Shift. 

S E R- 



To tl)cn- 


Ell, now my whole venter is forth, I will refolvc to depart lTiortly . 
Fast. Faith, fir Puntarvolo, goe to the court, and take 

leave of the ladies firft. MiikMrtiMfU* 

Punt. I care nor, ifit be this afternooncs labour. Where is Carlo? 

Fast. He-re hee comes. 

Car. Faith , gallants , I am perfwading this gentleman to turnc 
courtier. He is* man of faire revenue,- and his eftatc will bcarc the 
Aaroe well. Bcfides, for his other gifts of themmde,or fo wly they 
are a? nature lent him 'hem, pure Lple, without JJf^f^f 
or mixture of thefc two thred-bare beggerly qualities, learnin&and knovv- 
ledgc,and therefore the more accommodate, and genuine. Now, for the 

^isfathTrt celeftiall,and full of wonder, and delight, that can 
be imaaioUfignior, beyond all thought, and apprehenfion of p eafure! 
A Sves there, in that divine rapture,that hee will think himfelfc 1 the 
nln^ hea n for the time, and lofe all fcnfe of mortality whatfoever , 


fuchane-elicall and harmonious voyces, difcourfe withfuch flowing and 
^SJfpiri s, whofe wits are as fodaine as lightning, and humo- 
rous as Nelr 5 Oh : it makes a man all ^n^enceMPne and lifts him 
up (in a moment) to the very cwftall crowne^ of the sk«e, wl ere 1 ovt ng 
in the ftrength of his. imaginatfon) he (hall behold all the ^ ht * ^ 
HE S PERiD G Es,the InfuU Fortune Ado n is gardens, 7 ^onvhareJc 
Cconfin'dwithin the amplcft verge of/^/" ) *£e meere«^^,anJ imper 
ica figures, confer'd with the moftelTentiall felicity of your coiirt. 

Maci. Well, this Encomlon was not cxtcmporall, It came rou 1 
fe&ly off. ' • , « „ r ..«.. 

Car. BeGJes, fir, you (hallnevw need togoc to a hot-houfc, you 

i ;* 

-E^y'M^^ 1 ^ 

r . ; irr ; n a vour^miftrcHc, or lofing your mo n , y ^ 
Hull ; fweacthcm ™. th StJiS-L faStd/em M.irry this, fir, you mud P . 

ill tLlC HU r ^ Ai**** «frtn frliir \/ruif mitt- n* 


Ration has taught -W-w^n ; h v crc . 

ftahd you in very goo b t an - hcc (hould come to my miftrclTe 

%^XI^^^ rcpIy r n !ir yfaith - °> 

W u Ch !. hSh Se) (hec hasthemoft acute, ready, and facetious ^ 
(by^ng» youcan report it,fi g . 

"4 2? T^S£S£ no lefle, out of his judgement I aflure hi m . 

mC F 2J*1 indeed, life's a little too felfe-conceited an' 'twere not for 
that humour, (l^verethe tuoft-to-be-admirdlady in the world. 

Punt SfaA IWww that takes from her other excellencies. 

M ft c i Why, it may cafily be made to for fake her, in my thought. 

Fast.' Eafily, fir > then are all impoffibilitics eafie. 

Maci. You conclude too quick upon me, fignior;\vhat will you fav, 
iflma&citfopcrfpicuouayappearc now, that yourfelfc fliall confefle 

nothing more ooffible ? - . 

Past . Marry, I will fay, I will both applaud, and admire you for it. 
Punt; And :l will fecondhim, in the admiration,. _ 

Maci. Why, He (hew you, gentlemen. Carlo, come hither. 
Soc. Goodfaith, I havea great humour to the court : what thinks 

my Refohiion hhdU adventure; 
Shi i . Troth, Countenance^ as you pleafe 3 the place is a place of good 

reputation and capacicie. 
Soc. O, my trjeks in tabacco(as Carlo fayes) will (hew excel- 

lent there. . ... 

Shif. Why, you may goe with the fe gentlemen now, and lee fcjiw 

or* : andaftcF,asyou fliall Tee corrcfpondcnce. 

Sog. Youfay.truc. You will goe with me 9 $e[olution'? 

Shu.. I will meet you ^Countenance, about three or foure aclocki 
bur, to fay to goc with you, Icannot, fof (asl am Apple-John)^ 
to goe before x\\£,Cocatrice you faw this morning, and therefore ptay* 
prefentmee eXcus'd, good Countenance. 

Soc' Farcwell,good Reflation .but facile not to meet. 
Sf-if. Asl live-. 

Punt. Admirably excellent.' r>._ 

MACI. It VOU can hnr «««C.«J^ 5 

to court, there's 

Every Man out of bis Humour* 

Car. Come, the gentleman was of himfclfc refolv'd to goe with 

yon, a tore I mov'd it. 

Maci. Why then, gallants, you two, and Carlo; goe afore to 
prepare the jeft : So g l i ardo,: and 1, will come fomc while after you. 

Car. Pardon me \ I am not for the court. 

Punt. That's true: Carlo comes not at court, indeed. Well, you 
{hall leave it to the facultie of monfieur Briske, and my fclfe; upon 
our lives wee will manage it happily* Carlo (hall befpeake (upper, 
at the M itre, agairift we comeback : where wee will meet, and dimple our 
checkes with laughter at the fuccc.fte. 

.Car. I, but will you all promife to come ? 

Punt. My fclfe fliall Undertake for them : he that failes, let his repu- 
tation lie under the lath of thy tongue. 

Car. Gods fo, look who comes here! 

Soc. What, nephew! 

Fung* Uncle, God fave you- did you fee a gentleman, one Monfieur 
B r 1 s .< k ? a courtier, he goes in fuch a fute as I doe. 

Sog . Here is the gentleman, nephew, but not in fuch a fute. 

Fung. Another fute .': 
Sog. How now, nephew ? 
Fast* Would you fpeafcc to mc, fir ? 
Car. I, when hee has recovcrd himfclfc, poore poll. 
Punt. Some Ro fa- folti. 
Maci. How now,- fign ior > 
Fung. I am not well, fir; ■ 
Maci. Why, this it is, to dogge the fafhion. 
Car. Nay, come gentlemen, remember your affaires 5 his difeafe i* 
nothing but thefluxe of apparell. 

Punt. Sirs, returne to the lodging, keep the cat fafe : Tie be the dogs 

Guardian my felfc. 

Sog. Nephew, will you gbc'to court with us ? thefc gentlemen 
and I arc for the court : nay, be not fo melancholy. 
Fung . By gods lid, I think no man in chriftendomc has that rafcally 

fortune that I have. 

Maci . Faith,- your fute is well enough, fignior. 

Fung. Nay, not for that, I proteft, but I had an errand to Monfieur 
Fast idius, and I have forgot it. 

Maci. Why, goe along to court with us, and remember it, come. 
Gentlemen, you three take one boat, and Sogliardo and I will take 
another : we fhall be there inftantly . 

Fast. Content: good fir, vouchfafc us your plcafance. 

Punt: Farewell, Carlo ; remember. 

Car. I, warrant you : would I had one of Kemps fliooes to throw 
after you. 

Punt. Good Fortune will clofe the eyes of our jeft, fcare not : and wc 
(hall frollick. 



more fociable on a fud- 

i,mc thinks* than he was before : there's fome portent in't, I bcleeve. 

N Cor. 

Mit. This Macilente, fignior, begins cob 



Every Man out of his Humour. 

' 55 



n3?HB«. -\ CO ""^SoS of luftre, and approach^ 
,bev are laid flat, it fits the cv c octrer tree topt, and cut down 

,hc gallants, now prepare your expectation. 

I ■■■■■■ 

Aft v. 

Scene L 

Funtahvolo, FastidiusBriske.Fuk- 
g.oso, Grooms Macilente, 


Ome, gentles. Senior, you ate fufrciently inftruOed. 

_! Punt*. No?thU gentleman. Bat ftay, I take thought how to* 
(low mv dogae , he is no competent attendant for the pretence. 

S Matfe, that's true indeed, knight, you muft not earned 

into the picfencc. ^„«nfflfl 

Punt . 1 know it, and 1 ( like a dull bcaft) forgot to bring one ot wj 

cormorants to attend rac. 
Fast. Why, you re belt leave him at the porters lodge. ^ 

Punt. Not fo: his worth is too well knowne amongftthem, 

Fast. Slight how* 11 you doe then ? . . $\ 

Punt. I muft leave him with one, that is ignorant of his quau ^ 
I will have him to be fcfe. And fee ! Here comes one that wil carry c ° c 
ergo will hold my dogge. My honcft friend, may 1 commit the tuiti 
this dogee to thy prudent care ? 

Groo. You may, if you pleafe , fir. , „«,; 

Punt . Pray thee let me find thee here at my rcturne : it flial n° l D , 

till I will cafe thee of thy imployment, and pleafe thee. Forth, gentles. 

Fast. Why, bur will you leave him with lb (light command, and in- 
fufe no more charge, upon the fellow ? 

Punt. Charge? no ; there were no policic in that : that were to let 
him know the value of the gemme he holds, and fo, to rcrhpt fraile nature 
againft her difpofition. No, pray thee let thy honeftie be fwecr, as it 
fliall be ihorr. • ' 

Groo. Yes, fir. 

Punt. But harkc you gallants, and chiefcly Monfictir Briske. 
When we come in eyc-fhor, or prcfencc of this lady, let not other mat- 
ters carrie us from our project': but (if wee can) finglc her forth to 
fome place 

Fast. 1 warrant you. 

Punt. And bee not too fuddainc, but let the device induce it feJfe 
with good circumftancc. On. 

Fung . Is this the way ? good truth , here be fine hangings. 

Groo. Honcftie fiveet, and fhort ? marry it fliall, fir, doubt you not : 
for even at this inftant if one would give mee twentie pounds, I would 
not deliver him; there's for the fwect ; but now, if any man come offer me 
but two pence, he fhall have him; there's for the fhort now. 'Slid, what a 
mad humorous gentleman is this to leave his dogge with mc ? I could run 
ihvay with him now, an' hce were worth any thing" 

Maci. Come on, fignior, now prepare to court this all-witted lady, 
molt natur.;IIy, and like your lelfe. 

Sog. Faith, an' you fay the word, Tie begin to her in tabacco. 

Maci. O, fieon't:no; you fliall begin with, How does my [meet lady? 
or, why are you fo melanc holy, Madame i though fhee bee very merry, it's 

all one: be fure to kilTe your hand often inough ; pray for her health, and 
tell her, how, more than mojlfaire (he is. Screw your face at' one fide thus, 
and protcft; let her flecrc, and looke afccw, and hide her teeth with 
her fanne, when flie laughs a fit, to bring her into more matter, that's no- 
thing : you muft ralkc forward (though it be without fenfe, fo it be with- 
out blufhing ) 'tis mod court-like, and well.- 

Sog . But fliall I not ufe rabaccoatall ? 

Maci. O, by no meanes , 'twill but make your breath fufpecled, and 
that vou ufe it only to confound the rankneffe of that. 

Sog . Nay, l'le be advis'd, fir, by my friends. 

Maci. Gods my life, fee, where fir Puntars dogge is. 

Groo. I would the gentleman Would returne for his follower here, 
Vie leave him to his fortunes clfe. 

Maci. Twere the only true jeft in the world to poyfon him now : ha ? 
by this hand, l'le doe it, if I could but get him or the fellow. Signior 1 

Sogmardo, walk afide, and think upon fome device, to cnterraine 
the lady with. 

Sog. So I doe, fir. . • . • . 

Maci. How now, mine honeft friend? whofe dog-keeper art thou? 
Groo. Dogge -keeper, 1 fir ? I hope I fcornc that yfaith. 
Maci . Why ? do'ft thou not keep a dogge ?' 

Groo. Sir, now I doe, and now I doe not : I think this be fwcet and 
fhort. Make me his dogge -keeper? . 

N a Maci. 



— '^cry^n out of lmBumuu_ ^ 

I \ * ___ ^T^Tabovc expcfl ation : nay, ftay , fir,you'ld !*< 

- Maci. This is«ccllcn t ,aDo } ftortcnyo „ r v0 yagc : here. $ 

travailing; but Hcgivcyou^" ^^ ^Turktt court in thc 

fir, He be bold to take mf ^u. 7 . . name< SoGUARDo,com e . 
devils name, tor you Hull never ^ ^ 

So c . lb! t J &»* ^fc it not, fignior, ere you come there : pr * 
Maci. Take heed you leeic 

fcrveic - fflJWl 

MlT. U,ape«.cw». 

*C&. Here they come, will make it appeare. 

^S v. «fow* *!• 

Saviolina, Puntarvolo, Fastidius 






, I thought, fir Pun varvolo , you had bcene gone youf 

PuMT 0y Dfare, and moft amiable lady, your divine beauties doe btol 
mee to thofc offices, that I cannot depart when 1 would. 

S.' vi Vis moft court-like fpoken, fir: but how might we doe to have 
a fight of your dogge, and cat. 

Fast. His dogge is inthc court,lady. 

Savi. And not yourcat ? howdare you trufther behind you,ltr? 

Punt. Troth, rnadame, mee hath fore eyes, andftiee doth keepc ntf 
chamkf : marry I have left her under fufficicnt guard,therc are two of my 

followers ro attend her. 

Savi. I le give you fbme water for her eyes : when doe you goe, ur. 

Punt. Cerres, fvveet Jady, I know not. 

V AST. He doth ftay the rather, madame, to prefent your acute judge- 
ment with fo courtly and well-parted a gentleman, as yet your lady-fop 

hath never feene. 

Savi. What's hce, gentle Monficur Briske? notthat gentleman. 

Fast. No lady, this is a kinfman to Juftice Silence. 
Punt. Pray' fir, give me leave to report him : he's a gentleman (wy 
of that rare and admirable faculty, as (I proteft) I know not his like* 11 
Europe: bee is exceedingly valiant, an excellent Scholler, and fo exactly 
travail'd, thathec is able indifcourfe, to deliver you a modell of any pnj 1 ' 
ces court in the world t'fpcaks thc languages with that purity of ph™ 
and facility of accent, that it breeds aftonimment : his wir, the moft «*' 
uberant,and (above wonder) plcafant, of all that ever entrcd the conca" 
of this eare. 
Fast. 'Tis moft true, lady : marry he is no fuch excellent proper to®' 
Punt. Histravailes have changd his complexion, madame. 
Savi. O, fir Puntarvolo , you muft think, every man was w 

bomctohave my fervant Briskes feature. 


Eyery Man out of his Humour. 


Punt. But that which tranfeends all, lady, hce doth fo pcerlcfTely 
imitate any manner of perfon for gefture, a&ion, paffion, or what c- 

85 Fast, i: cfpccially a ruftick, or a clownc, madame, that it is not: 
pofliblcfor i he lTiarpeft-fighted wit (in the world) to difcernc any fparks 
of the gentleman in him, when he does it. . 

S Avrt O, Monficur Briske, be nor fo tyrannous to .confine all Wits 
within rhe compaffeof your owne j not find thc fparks of a gentleman in 

him, if hce be a gentleman? 

v.Fung. No in math (Tweet ladic) Ibeleeve you cannot. : 

Savi". Doc you bcleeve fo ? why, 1 can find fparks of a gentleman in 

you, fir. • 

Punt. I, hee is "a gentleman, madame, and a reveller. 

Fung . Indeed, I think I have fecne your ladithip at our revels. 

Savi. Like enough; fir: but would I might fee this wonder you talke 
f: may one have a fight of him, for any reafonablc fumme ? 

Punt. Yes, madame, hce will arrive prefently. 
..Savi. What, and fliall wee fee him clownc. it? .; 

FAst! I fa ith ( fweet lady ) that you fhall : fee, here hce comes . 

Pun T. This is hee ! pray obferve h im^ lady . 
c Savi. Befhrew mee, hee clownes it properly indeed. 
. PuNT.Niyjniarke hiscoutt-irjip. 
* Sog. How docs my fweet lady ? hot and moyft? beautifull and 

luftie ? ha ? ' • 

Savi. Beautifull, an' it plcafe you, fir, but not luftie. 
So g . O ho, lady ; it plcafcs you to fay fo m truth ; and how docs my 

fweet lady ? in health ? Bon a roba y qutfa que noiiltes i que rtovelles I fweec 

creature. . ,• , 

Savi. O excellent : why gallants, is. this hee that cannot be decy- 
pher'd ? they were very bleare-wittcd, yfaith, that could not difcernc the 

gentleman in him. _ « 

- Punt. Bur, you doe, in earned:, lady ? .> 

Savi - . Doc I, fir ? why, if you hid any true court- judgement m thecal 
riaeeof his eye, and that inward power that formes his' countenance, you 
might perceive his counterfeiting as elecrc, as the noonc-day : Alas — -» 
Nay, if you would have tryed my wit, indeed, you fhould never have told 
nie lie wasa gentleman, but prefenred him for a true clownc indeed; and 
then have feene if 1 could have decypher'd him. . : 

Fast. 'Fore god, her ladyfhip fayes true (knight)but does he not ai- 
fe& the clownc moft naturally , miftrcfic ? t 

Punt. O, fhee cannot but affirmc that, out of the bounty ot her 


Savi, Nay, out of doubt hce does well, for a gentleman,- to imitate ; 
but 1 warrant you, he becomes his natufall carriage of the gentleman, much 

better than his clowneric. . ... 

Fast. Tisftrangc, in truth, her lady Qiiplhould fee fofarre into nun- 

Punt. l,is't not?' 

Savi. Faith, as bafily as maybe : not decypher him, qupth you ? 

Fung. Good fadnclfc, 1 wonder at it I 

Maci. Why, has fhee decypher'd him, gentlemen ? 

N 3 




£ W A»^*g5®^ 


J"tf • ws t 

: Z^fa and beyond admiration ! 

V**^^^™** y 

M \ci. Is t poffibic ? ft in f a iiiblc fignes of the gentleman in 

Fast. Shee hath gather an 

him, that's certaine. ^ laugh at y0Uj a little: was this yo ut 

Savi. Why f>T^L z in a gentleman? 
device, to .try my juag^ ^ fcornc USi though yOU have this giftof p cr . 

igcntleraan noiv, but i 

ipicacic aw- -~- 

clovvnc indeed, lady? fthat? w0 uld not your lady rtiip bee out of 

Punt. How wins yu 

your humour ? . h fo- 

S £ VI * ,1 111 me fo,indced,you were wifer than you aretakenfor. 
!2£g In S Sh% . bA a very perfe* clowr* , both by fc 

te and motfe : that Tie aiTurc you. 
tner, ai» plcafurable. 

m\ V c'i. NaWb^tooliSnhi. hand, and that (ball refolve you: 
lnnke vou< lady, what a palme here is. 
Soc Tut that was withholdingtheplough. 
Mac i TheVloush ! did you difecrne any fuchthinginhim,madaroc? 
Past*. Faith no, (he faw the gentleman as bright, as at noon-day, (hec : 
aieedecypher'dhimatHrft. - >- 

M a ci. Troth, I am fomc your ladifhips fight fhould bec loft* 

dcnlyftruck. ' ' . 

Savi. O, you re goodly beagles ! ■ 

Fast. What, is mcc gone?- - - 

Soc. Nay, ftay, facet lad M «e wnis * f *™*« * 
Savi. Out, you fbole, you . 
Fung . Sbec's out of her humour y faith. 
Fast. Nay, let's follow it while 'tis hot, gentlemen. 

Punt. Come, on mine honour wee (hall make her blulh in. the pre 
fence : my fplecne is great with laughter. 

Maci. Your laughter will be a child of a feeble life, I belceve,flr. 
Come, fignior, your lookes are too dejeftcd, me thinks: why mix you 
not mirth with the reft? 

:mirtn witnrncrercr m ,. 

Fung . By gods will, this fute frets me at the foulc. He have it altera 
to morrow, fure. 

Aft v. Scene 1 1 h 

Shift. . ' 

Fastidius, Puntarvolo, Sogliardo, 

Fungoso, Magilinte. 


■ Am come to thecourr, to meet with my Countenance SocliarD ^ 
Ipooremen muftbe glad of fuch countenance, when they can get ® 
better. Well. Need may infult upon a man, but it (hall never make dip 
defpair ofconfequence. The world will fay, 'tis bafe : tu(h,bafc 1 'W™ 1 

to live under the earth, not bate to live above it, by any meancs. 




Fast The poore lady is moft mifcrably out of her humour, yfaith. 
Punt. There was never fo witty a jeft broken, at the tile of all the 

court-wits chriftcn'd. 

MACi.O,this applaufc taints it, fouly. • , . 

Sog. I think, 1 did my part in courting. O! RejcUton I 

Punt. Aye mee, my dogge. 

Maci. Where is hee? . 

Fast. Gods pretious, goc feckc for the fellow, good (ignior. 
Punt. Here, here I left him. 
Maci. Why, none was here when wee came in now, but C aval i e r 
Shift, enquire of him. . 

Fast. Didyoufec fir Puntarvolo's dogge here, Cavaiter, lince 

you came? r ,. , r 

SHiF.Hisdogfir? he may looke his dog, fir. I faw none ofhisdog> fir. 

Maci. Upon my life, he has ftolncyour dogge, fir, and beenc nird 

to it by fome that have ventur'd with you : you may gueflcby his peremp- 

torie anfwers. . . 

Punt. Not unlike; for he hath beenc a notorious thiefe by nisownc 

confeffion. Sirrah, where is my dogge? 

Shif. Charge mewith your dogge, fir ? 1 ha none of your dog, lir. 

Punt. Villame, thou lyeft. 

Shif. Lye, fir? y' are but aman>fu>» 

Punt. Rogue, and thiefe, re (tore him. ■ 

Sog. Take heed, fir Puntarvolo, whatyou doe : hee le beare no 

coales, I can rell you (o* my word.) 

Maci. This is rare. r 

Sog. It's mar'le hee (tabs you not :by this light, he hath (tab d torty, 
for forty times leffc matter, 1 can tell you, of my knowledge. 
Punt. I will make thee ftoop, thou abjetf. 
Sog. Make him ftoop,fir ! genrjemen, pacific him or heeiebe kild. 
Maci. Is hee fo tall a man? t 

Sog. Tall a man ? if you love his life, (land betwixt hem : make 

Ti Jin ItOOO 

Punt. My dogge, villaine,orl will hang thee : thou haft confeft rob- 
beries, and other fcllonious ads, to this gentleman thy Countenance 

Soc Tie beare now itneffe. 

Punt . And, without my dogge, I will hang thee, for them. 

Sog. What? kncclc to thine enemies? . 

Shif. Pardon me, good fir • god is my witnefle, I never didrobbene 

in all my life. a 

m Fung. O, fir Puntarvolo , your dogge lies giving up the gnolt 

in the wood-yard. 

Maci. Heart ! is he hot dead, yet? 

Punt. 0,my dog, borne to difaftrOus fortune ! pray you conduct me,lir. 

Sog . How ? did you never doe any robberie, in your life ? 

M a c i . O, th is is good : fo hee fwore, fir. N 

Sog. I, I heard him. And did you fweare true, fir ? 

Ship. I, (aslhopetobe forgiven, fir) I ne're rob'd any, I never 
flood by the high-way-fidc, fir, but only faidfo,becaufe I would get my 

felfc a name, and be counted a tall man. _ 

Soc . 

Hi ftridi rxtj 
Fun fa ft. 

Shift \netUi t 

Tuntofo re* 







Every Man out of his Humour. 


— -— ^r7"li£r~Thou my Rtftuftonl I thy C oa% I [^to^rt ion : 'Slid, the (lave were to be lov'd next heaven above ho 
Soo; Now our, bafc **"<< { liat hconfeft to me the moft inex 0ri . I °' W ealth, rich tare, apparelf, wenches, all the delights of the belly, 
.^r,-^ By this ligbt, g^ ntlc ";!f; m n'a himfclfc did hem, y0Unc l « ; he „ ro inc, wharcver. 


blccompanyofrobbcvK-s and 1 foUowm eno morc,I comb*, 

vcr heard the hke: 0»t*°°"£ f ak no t : 1 will no: heare thee : « Viy 

,bcc:outofmyfiste.§ oc ' n 

•'■ r .wfi-edupon this now, and fat my Be! here wcrt, 

'• °> li0 a W A \ A £Sd I well, bythis time, 1 hope, fir fe. 

couple uneKpefled ly J ^ f h ' nm J our cp „ a va,'e. N..y,g™|, 

7 Ar:vo L oandlu S ctogare~ nJ fort) m?0M 

^^SMhrrruofneXe hold To night, if you love you,* 

nutations. , me i anc i l0 tv forhisdogs difaftcr.but l'legoe, 

1 FAST/Foregodlamromeancuoiy .j ^U be fo melancholy. 

Soo. F«^ and /To,f,vo°muft forget that now, and reme^ 
St rade you to duft, if you come not 


- M,t. CthentheirfeareofC^Lcbelike.malcesthemholdtW 
"coT.' Men becomes ^onceivchimbuttobeentefd thcMte*! 

'tis enough. 

* • 


Scene i v. 

a/f« v. 

Carlo, Drawer, George. 



HOlla : where bee thefc fliot-fharkes ? 
Draw. By and by: you re welcome, good matter Bur- poke. 

Car. Where's George ? call mee George hither, qujekty. 
Draw. What wine pleafc you have, fir ? l'le draw, you that's neat, nu- 
tter Buffone. • . 
Car. Away NEOPHiTE,do as Ibid thee, bring my dcarc Geoeo* 

to mee: Mafle, here hee comes; 

Geor. Welcome, mailer Carlo. n 

Car. What! is fuppcr ready, George? 
GFoR.l,fvr,almoft: will you have the cloth laid, tuaftcr Carlo' 
C ar. O, what elfc ? arc noneof the gallants come, yet ? 
Geor. None yet, fir. 

Car. Stay, take mee with you, George : let mee have a good u 
loyne of porke laid to the fire, prefently. 
Geor. It (hall, fir. 

Car. Andwithali, heare you ? drawmec thebiggeft fhaft)'ouh* vc j°? 
of the butt you wot of: away, you know my meaning, George, l l ulCt ' 
Geor. Done, fir 

C a r . I never hungrcd fo much for thing in my life, as I doe to k^' 
our gallants fucceflc at court : now is that lean bald-rib MaulE. s v 
that fait villaine, plotting lome mifchievous device, and lvcsa fpak» n ?,j 
their frothy humours like tdry cruft, till hee has drunk 'hem all up •' c f °" 
the pummife but hold up his eyes at other mens happines, in any w** ^ 

. . 

and the groinc, whatever. 

Geor. Here, maitcrCARi o. 

Car. Is't right, boy? 

Geo r.I, fir, laffurc you 'tis right. 

Car. Well fa id, ray dcarc George, depart: Come, my fmallgim- /ei 

blet vou in the falfc tcabbcrd, away, Co. Now toyou 9 fyi:nrgi>mdfier 9 t b **»«M«f 
let's' taftc of your bounty. *■«'*" 

GREX, fer 

* ' 

jnd fit iff i 
with tkc other. 

Mit. What, will hee dcale upon fuch quantities of wine, alone? . 
Cor. You will perceive thar, fir. 

Car. I marry, fir, here's purine: O, GeoKge, I could bite off his 
nofe for this, now: Sweet rogue he has drawnc Ncffrtr, the veryfouleof 
the erape 1 lie wafti my temple s with fome on'r prefently,and drink fome 
halfe a fcore draughts ; 'twill heat the braine , kindle my imagination, I Ue f els llieln6 
(hall talke nothing but crackers, and fire-worke, tonight. So, fir! pleafe c«/« </W«r, 
you to be here, fir, and I here : So. ZttifZ 

G r ex: 

Cor. This Is worth the obfervation, fignior. 

Car. i. Cup. Now, fir; here's to you ; and I prelcnt you withfb 

much of my love. 

a. Cup, I take it kindly from you, fir, and will retumc you the like 
proportion: but withal], fir, rcmembring the merry night wee had at the 
countcltcs, you know where, fir. 

i By heaven, you put mee in mind now of a. very necefiarie office, 
which I will propofe in your pledge, fir : the health of that honorable 
countetTc,and the fwcet ladie that fate by her, fir. 

2. I doe vaile to it with reverence. And now, (ignior, with thefc la- 
dies, l'le be bold to mix the health.of your divine Miftris. 

i. Doe you know her, fir ? 

a . O lord, fir, I ; and in the refpc&full memory and mention of her, I 
could wifh this wine were the moft precious drugge in the world; 

i . Good faith, fir, you doe honour mee in t exceedingly. 



Mit. Whom (hould he perfonate in this, fignior ? 
Cor. "Faith, 1 know nor, fir j obferve, obferve him. * 

i . If it were the bafeft filth, or mud that runnes in the channel!) I am 

bound to pledge it, refpe&ivcly, fir. And now, fir, here is a replcniflit 

bowlc, which 1 will reciprocally turne upon you, to the health of the 

count Frugale. 

i. The count F rug ales health, fir? 1'leplcdge it on my knee's, by 
this light. 

a. Will you, fir ? l'le drinke it On my knee, then,by f he right* 

O R E A , 





G RE * 

Co;.H a h you h hca^S« dtUnkCndhIOgUe 
Nay, doc roc right, fir. 










Ji/w heleeve rhcc, it was not. 
222WJ « « ^ Voa doe lye. 

Bclccvc met 


for fcawWpeft your reputations. 



* /\ 7 H v how now C a rl o ! what humour's this ? 

V V £ a r! 0, my good Mf {chief* ! art thou come > where are the 

♦eft ? where are the reft ? 

Maci. Faith, three of our ordinance are burft. 

Car. Burft ? Vow comes that? 

Maci. Faith, ovcr-charg'd, ovcr-chargd. 

Car. But did not the trainc hold ? 

Maci. 0,yes,andthe poorelady is irrecoverably blowne up. 

Car. Why, but which of the munition is mifcarned ? ha ? 

Maci. Imtmif, fir Puntarvolo : next, the Countenance^ 

Resolution. ■ . 

Car. How? how for the love of wit ? 

Maci. Troth, the Resolution is prov'd recreant; the Countenanced 
changdhis coppy : and the paflionatc knight is (bedding funerall teaic^ 
over bis departed doggc. 

Car. What's his dogge dead? > ,. 

Maci. Poyfon'd, 'tis thought: marry, how,or by whom, that's left to 
fome cunning woman hcere o* the Banke-fide to refolve. Tor my p 31 *' 
know nothing, more than that we are like to have an exceeding BieI 2D ' 
choly fupper of it. . . 

Car. 'Slifc,and I had purpos'd to be extraordinarily merfy, 1 P? 
dmnkc off a good preparative of old fack here : but will they come> ffl 
they come ? t 

Maci. They will afluredly come: marry, Carlo (as tboulov'ft 1 ™ 
run over 'hem all freely to night, and especially the knight ; fparc noW' 
phurous jefi: that may come out of that fweatic forge of thine: but P? 
hem with all manner of faott, minion, faker, culvcrinc, or any & 1 *' 

what thou wilt. 


CARL. I warrant thee, my deare cafe of pctrioncls, fol ftand not in 
dread of thee, but thar:thou'lt fecond mc.. , 
M \ci . Why, my good Germane tapiter, I will. 
Cam . Whaf,GE9RQ^. Lomtero.Lomtero^c, 
GEOR.'Did you call, matter, Carlo ? ; . 3 

Carl. More Neilar, Geo i\Gi.):Lomter ) o i O'c. 
G eo r. Your meat's ready, fir, an' your company were come. 
Carl. Isthc loyneof porkc enough? ■•{ : : 
Geor. I,fir,itis enough. ^-^ ^^ L . 



Maci. Porkc? heart ,'vthntdofttfad with fucha greafiedifh? I think 
ihoudoft vamith thy face with the fat on'r, it looks fo like a glew-pot. 
Car Tru'e,myraw^on'd-rogue,>and if thou wOuld'ftvfcrcG thy leane 

ribs wmi ittoo ^ 

blets^s they doe t but thou know ftnora good ^ thou/ Ojitsiheonly 
oourifting meat in the world. No marvell though that faiicie, ftubborne 
aenention, the /em, were forbiddertic : for what would they ha done, 
well pamper'd with fatfOrke, thatdurft murmurcat their maker outof 

garheke and onions 
20 CT 2le-ey'd (jmrrf 
fvveet George 

Itn iarpuHie, iimiwu'-u- ««..««.... -- -"- -- 

ons. Slight, fed with it, the whorfon itrummell, patent, 
Limblcdoriesj would ha' Gtgant&machizsd. Well faid, my 

, fill, 

• • y % 

a Id X. 

i . n 


M it. This favours too much of-prbpha nation; ] < 

Cor. OJerveiurtdimurt, (\u«\vl nbinccs]tofrocejjerti, &fi»t conpt 

The nccclTuy of his vaine compels- fet toleration : for barre this,- and dafli 

h im out of humour before his time - .'• 

Carl. 'Tis an Axiom intnarufell philofophy, '■»*•* cmesnearejt the 

nature of that it feeds, converts quicker to nourijhment, and doth fbttner efjenti- 

**.Now nothing in flefh, and cntrailcs, ammiiates or refemblts-man more, 

tbanahoor orfwine — > ' > ■ ■ ■• . • 

Maci .True i and he (to requite their courtcfle) oftentimes d ofreth 
his ownc nature, and puts on theirs \ as when he becomes as churhfh asa 
hog,or as dmnkc as a fow : butto your concluhon. ^ 

Carl. Marry, I fay, nothing tefembling man more than a fwine, it fol- 
lowes, nothing can be more nourtfiing : for indeed (but that it abhorres 
from our nice nature ) if we fed one upon another, we (hould (hoot up a 
great deale fafter, and thrive much bitter i I referreme to your ufurous 
cmikh, or fiich like : but fince icis fo contrary, porke, potke, is your 

only feed. ,. , , . , 

Maci. Itakeit, your dcvill be of the fame diet-, he would ne re ha ide- 
fir'dtobecne incorporated into fwiheelfe.. O, here comes the melancholy 
melTe : u^n'hem C ARLo,chargCjChacge. 







Scene vr. 

• voro, Carlo, Macuentf, 


p A ST.BRi bKK ' 


1 * 


be filcnti' 

rather than thoa 
upon his owneb: 


T"!' Sfcffi?^ W»* your cat h^rccovcredherc;. 
Caul. TaKccon uu , g m if c hance may be holpen. 

^ kt %2&\££ :CSE o) for fo God mend me, the poo, 
FAsT .,Say how (Uvce t £ _ f his m ; s fortuncs. But fie* 

vvou U'ft make prefent payment, thou would ft. take it up. 

* O ri° Nay % fife hee'ld be content (fo he were well rid out of ! 
compamO to pay h im five for one, at his next meeting him in Pauls B« 
fervour doggc, fir Punt ar. if hce be not out-right dead, there is a fried 
of mine, a quack-faker, {hall put life in him againe, rim s certame. 

Fun g . O, no, that comes too la^eo . . - 

Maci . Gods precious, knight*. wU you fufTer this ? 

Punt . Drawer,get me a candle, and hard wax* prefently. 

Sogl. I, and bring up fupper ; for I am fo melancholy. 

C a r l . O, fignior, where's your R efolution i 

Sogl. Refohtion IMnghim nfatt : O, Carlo, if you love me, do< 
not mention him. \ ' 

Cakl. Why, how fo> how fo ? , '.' 

Sogl. O, thcarrant'ft crocodile that ever Chriftian was acquaint 

with. By my gentry, Khali think the worfeof tobacco while 1 live, fa 

his lake : low think him, to be as tall a man ■ ■ i 

Maci. 'Nay, Buffone, the knight, theknigbt. 

Carl. S'lud, he looks like an image carvUout of box, full of knoty: 

his face is (for all the world) like a Dutch purfe, with the mouth doivoe- 
ward* his beard the taffels ; and he walks (let me fee) as melancholy as ok 
o' the Matters fide in the Counter. Doe you hearc, fir P u n t a R? 

P u n . Sir, I doe intreat you no more, but enjoyn you to filcnce, asyoa 
afreet your peace. 

CArl. Nay, but dearc Knight, underftand (here are none but friend 

and fuchas wifh you well) I would ha you doc this now 5 Flea nicyoij 
doggc prefently (but in any cafe keepe the head) and ituffe his skin*c« 
with ftraw,asyou fee thefe dead monfters ztfiartholmew fairer- " 

Pun t. I fhall bee fuddaine, I tell you. . 

Carl. Or if you like not that, fir, get mce fomewhat a Iefledog, ^ 

by cry Man out of his Humour. 


Maci. Sir Puntarvolo, 'death, can you be fo patient? 

Car. Or thus, fir: you may have (as you come through German') ) a 
familiar for little or nothing, fhall turnc it felfc inro the lliape of your doj, 
or any thing (what you will) for ccrtaine houres : — 'odsmylifc, knigjht, rUMpi 
what doc you meane ? you'l offer no violence, will you ? hold, hold. bun - n. 

Pun 1 . 'Sdeath,you flave, you ban-dog, you. 

.Car. As you love wit, (lay the enraged knight, gentlemen. 

Punt. By my knighthood, heethat ftirrsinhis refcuc, dies. Draw- 
er, be gone. 

Car. Murder, murder, murder. 

Punt. I, are you howling, you wolfc ? Gentlemen, as you tender your 

lives, fuifer no man to enter, till my revenge be perfect. Sirrah, Buffo'cJE, 
lie downej make no exclamations, bur downc : downc,you curre, or I will 
make thy blood flow on .my rapier hilts . 

Car. Sweet knight, hold in thy fury, and 'fore heaven, Tie honour 
thee more, than the Turkedos Maho met. 

Punt. Downc (I fay.)' Who's there? 

Cons. Here's the Conftablc, open the dores. 

Car. Good Macilente — - — 

Pu N 1 . Open no dore, if the A d a l a n t a d o of Spaine were here, hec 
fl^ould not enter: One help mec with the light, gentlemen: you knock in 
vaine, fir officer. 
. Gar. EC tu Brute I 

Punt. Sirrha, clofe yourlips,or I willdropitin thinceyes by heaven. 
Car", O, O. 

Cons. Open the dorc,or I will breake it open. 
Ma c 1 . Nay^ good Conftable, have patience a little, you fhall come in 
prefently, wee have almoft done. 
Punt. So; now,areyou out of your humour, fir ? Shift, gentlemen. 


He fates up bh 


* 1 

Tt'ff alldrSBy 



Scene v n . 

Nonstable, Officers, Drawers. 

To Htm. 

y hold upon this gallant, and purfuethc reft. 
Fas t . Lay hold on me, fir ! for what ? 
Cons. Marry, for your riot here, fir, with the reft of your companions . 
Past. My riot! mafterConftable, take heed what you doc. Carlo, 
did 1 offer any violence ? 

Co n s. O, (ir, you fee hce is not in cafe to anfwerc you, and that makes 
youfo peremptoric. 

Past. Pcrcmpiorie? s'iifc I appealc to the drawers, if I did him any 
hard meafurc. 

' Geo. They are all gone, there's none of them wil be laid any hold on. 

Cons. Well, fir, yeiuare like to anfwer till the reft can be found out. 

Fast. 'Slid, 'I appeal? to George, here. 

Cons". Tut, George was not hereaway with him to the Counter, 
firs. Come, fir, you were beft get your felfe dr'eft fomewhere. 

Geor. Good lotd, that maftcr Carlo could not take heed, and 
knowing what a gentleman the knight is, if heebc angry. 




M.U-.1. What, a« : liey„ EN 

-' GKOR.O,hcTcsnuft«^ 

*»V- »,..., Cirri:?. GEO RGE > 7 

left all the meat on. our hands 

— - « kce^oc youfce *at concealment there, , k 

^£*SgK th^^ing 1 bee fare you tope „ h 

M*ci.Hcesg°° d P a ' v " . av iU i come againc, though hec offctto 
here, anilct him not goe»wy 

*^ffi1b5SSSt a'pawne forthe rcckomng. 

D«w '.\Vtat,ofWAcaE««» 

GnoR.No,lookeundcrtheuDie. hof thuftr , 

G E on . Vv hat I maftct Fun go so n 

fiteta ?°'.^ lccrC) flrj bot tbe Kcto ning ; and that you tnuft dee,,, 
and I pay before you gnc , 1 allure you. ^ ^ 

^Wl^h*** Plcafe.ur/tisallready below, A, 

S&^SS "" Sut 'twas for you, and your co* 

panic, I am fure. . . - , T 

Fung M y company 'Slid, I was an invited gucft,fo I was. 

Draw. Faith vvee have nothing to doc with that, fir, they're all gone 
but you, and we rhuftbe anfwefd ; that's the (hort and the long on t. 

Fung. Nay, if you will grow to extremities, my matters, than wouw 
this pot, cup, and all were in my belly, if I have a croffe about mee. 

Geor. What, and have iuch appareU ? doc not fay fo, figmor, w 

mightily difcredits your clothes. ' 

Fung. Aslamanhoneft man,mytayIorhadall my money this ow- 
ning, and yet I muft be faine to alter my fute too : good firs,let me goe, ' 
frid2y night, and in good truth I have no ftomack in the world, to ea 
any thing. 

Draw . That's no matter, fo you pay, fir. . 

Fung. Pay } gods light, with what confciencc can you askc me to p J 
that I never drank lor ? 

G eor. Yes, fir, I did fee you drink once. .. 

Fung, By this cup (which isfilver) but you did not, you doc mec i 

finite wrong, I look't in the pot once, indeed, but I did not drink. 

TV,.-, f._ r _ _r • r n.__ •- n._it U-» -ill nttC l ° 



G RE X. 

Cor.. Lofc not your fclfc now fignior. 

Every Man out of bis Humou r. 



zJtt v. Scene vm. 


Ut fir, you didbeare too hard a^onccitof me in that, but I wiUno.v 
' my love to you moft tranfparcnr » fpight of any uuft of fufpi- 
mav be ray fed to cloud it : and henceforth, fret I fee in is fo 

tion, that may 

feni&^Mfe V ? u with a n happicoccanol ro do 


not himfclfc, but he mult out ot cmio"."^ mw - / ;-— i— .-> -• 
Xcd your fclfe fo kindly, and with that refped of Ins reputawn, why, 

^benefit cannot but make hcrdotc, ^J^g^^SSSS^ 

Deli. N 
dingly indebted 

2S*&£Zj& ****^ SlW going to bed, if you had 

not come j what Tavcrnc is it ? 

fc 5^00, my *ftfc Good faith it cannot but pleafe 

tha.youcall foryourcloke, and yodr fl .oocs »tm,'stt™ Panda , 
De u O, hveet wife, fpcake lower, I would not hce (hould heare thee 

f ° V. it. Hanlhim rafcall, I cannot abide him for his trechery, with his 

-ard there. Whither goe you now with ton f .. 

Deli No whither with him, deare wife, 1 goe alone to a place, from 
whence! wfflmumc intently. Good M.vctENTE, acquaint nocher 
with it by any, it may'come fo much the mo,e accepted, trame 
fomc nrhrr anfwer. Vie come back immediately. 

Fa?l .IS! ^and I be not worthy to know whither you goe, ftay, till I 

take knowledge of your comming back . 
Maci. Heare you, miftreffe Deliro. 

yoa (hall know'hem. . , r - -1 ; r . t ^ , 

Fall. Yourintents ? vvhy,whatniay your intents be v forGoJsi^ 

.Maci. Troth, thctimeallowesnocircumftance,kdi^thc ;^^> 
this was but a device to remove your husband hence, and bdtu.r m t 
curcly, whileft (with more conveniencie) I might report to ^ou a m stor 
tune that hath happened to Monficur B a i s w e — ^ r ^_?^ 
'adie. This night being at fupper) a fort of young gallants commuted ,* 



^———-^ reprehended and carried to the Count* 

.-iorJortbc which be (°^% lt ^ rc a hours fliould but have knowledge 

** Lf rt^Cicrc undone for eve, 

fhim,the poore-cmi > - ' ^^ 
Fal. Ave medthat nee ^ ^ u ^ >n y prefent mean(;j 

M aci. Now ^ crclor r'4n w it. Abribc to die ofheer that commit. 
f rbisdclivcric,docnotioreio 

ted him, will doc 't. ^ ;vant for a bribe . pray you, will you 

Fal. Ogoa,flr,«« ' rk viflCchim p rc fcntly. 

commend mcc to hlm,an y ^^ fa protra£hng ^ 

Maci. No, lady, I lWJiw y 
husbands return^ that youinay &oe ^ ^ ^ a 

FAr . Good truth, fo^^;^ ld ^ c {-worncuponallthetcft, 
„„ be ^^^ioJCitoBRiSKH. Bring me my key* 
S:S^23 alllhavct this earthly world,,, 

i Hrtv^cH en'Te fwcats'i this bufineiTe, if you maikhirn. 
Co V. I ! vou Ml fee the true picture of fpight anon : here com* 
thepawne, and his redeemer. ' 

An v. 

Scene ix, 

Deliro, fusco's'o, Drawers, Macilente. 

COmc ^brother, be not difcouragd for this ,man; what ? 
. Fun c . No truly} 1 am not difcouragd, but 1 proreft to you bro- 
ther,! have done imitating any more gallants either in purfe or apparcli, 
but as (hall become a gentleman, for. good carriage, or fo. 
Deli. You fay well; This isall,t the bill here ? isc not ? 
Geor. I, fir. '., 

Deli. There's your money, tell it :andbrothcr,Iam glad I met wnn 

fo goodoccafion to fhew my love to you. 

Fung. 1 willftudy todefervcit ingoodtruth, an' I live. 

Deli. What , is't right ? 

Geor'. I, fir, and 1 thank you. 

Fun g . Let me have a capons legge fav'd, now the reckoning is paid* 

Geor. You fhall, fir. 

Maci. Where's fignior Deliro ? 

Deli. Here, Macilente. 

Maci. Harkeyou,fir, ha' you difpatcht this fame ? 

Deli. I marry have I. 

Maci. Well thcn,Icantell younewes, Briske is i* the Counter, 

Deli. V the Counter ? 

Maci. Tis true, fir, committed for the ftirre here to night. N<>? 

a^ion on BKisKi-,and your wife (being in, fo happy a mood) cannot cir 

rnc it ill. bv anv mMn«. 


tenainc it ill, by any mcancs. 



Deli. 'Tis very true, (lice cannot indeed, I think. 

Maci. Think ? why 'tis pad thought, you fhall never meet the like 
opportunide, I aflure you. 

Deli. 1 will doe it. Brother,pray you goc home (afore this gentleman, 
and 1 have fome private bu fine (le) and tel my fweet wife,ric come prcfcntly. 

Fung. 1 will, brother. 

Maci- And, fignior, acquaint your filler, how liberally, and out of 
his bounty, your brother has us'd you. (Doeyou fee?) made you a man 
of "ood reckoning 5 redeemed that you never were poffeft of, credit ; gave 
you as genilcman-like termesas might be ; found no fault with your com- 
ming behind the fafliion ; nor nothing. 

Fung. Nay, T am out of thofe humours now. 

Maci.- Well, if you be out, kcepc your diftance, and be not made a 
(hot-clog any more. Come, fignior, let s make haftc. 



v. Scene x 


Fall ace, Fast. Briske. 

Maftcr. F astidius, what pitty is'tto fee fo fweet a man as you are, 

info fowfea place? 


Cor. As upon her lips,do's (lice meane ? 
Mit. O, this is to be imagin'd the Counter, belike? 

Fast. Troth, fa ire lady, 'tis fir ft the pleafurc of the PAtiS[ and next of 
the Conftable, to have it fo : but I am patient, and indeed comforted the 
more in your kind vifit. 

Fal. Nay, you fhall bee comforted in mee, more than this, if you 
pleafc, fir. 1 fent you word by my brother, fir, that my husband laid to 
reft you this morning, I know not whether you receiv'd it, or no. 

Fast. No,belcevc it, fweet creature, your brother gave me no fuch 

Fal. O, the lord! 

Fast. Bur has your husband any fuch purpofc ? 

Fal. O fweet matter Briske, yes: and therefore bee prefently dif. 
charg'd, for if become with his actions upon you (lord deliver you) you 
arc in for one halfea fcorcycare; hee kept a poore man in Ludgate oncc^ 
twelve yecrc, for fixtecne {hillings. Where's your keeper ? forlovesfake 
call him, let him rake a bribe, and difpatch you. Lord, how my heart 
trembles! here are no fpics? are there? 

Fast. No, fwect miftris, why are you in this paffion? 

Fal. O lord, Matter FAsTiDius,if you knew howl tooke up my 
husband to day,whenhcefaidhee would arrcft you ; and how 1 rail'd at 
him that perfwaded him to r, the fcholler there, (who on my confciencc 
loves you now) and what care I tooke to fend you intelligence by my 
brother ; and how I gave him fourc foveraignes for his paines; and now, 
how I came running out hither without man or boy with me, (o foonc as 
I heard on r j you Id fay, I were in a paifion indeed : your keeper, for gods 
fake. O, Maftcr Briske (as 'tis in Eupiiues) Hard it the cboife, 

O 3 rthen 




| | 


&T.3 P"^ ' , n «ivc you )3 nd may this kilTc aflme y0U) lhl , 

*£ • &^ftS^i^** piofl,erit,e mi not ~^ 

wkB e»th(as 


Fal. Onice. 

/# V. . &*»* XT. 

DFLTRO , Macilbhte, Fallacy 



this Ion. » fo />X!" rem tics sh.s fiaile lump of Hem is ft 
no W ,andpaffion,anc taext «» f ior? Mce tMnk 

{hould lay it were l " I J7 ; dreamenow, twere excellent : faun 

to it in time, there's nothing impofcble. 
Fal. Sweet husb.ind . 

Deli. Out lafcivious (trumpet. ' -'" _ t^^L 

M*ci. What ? did you fee, how ill that ftale veine :became lnmafo 
of fwect wife, and deare heart > and are you falne mft into the fame nw 
with fwect tostend Away, follow him, goe, kecpe ^e ; what ^ 
member you are a woman, turne impudent : gi him not the head, JOB 
you gi' him the homes. Away. And yet mec thinks you (hould tff 
your leave of Enfans-perdus here, your forlorne hope. How now, M»> 
licur Briske ? what?friday night? and in affiiaion too ? andyctyc.. 
Pulftmemtal your delicate morcels ? I perceive, theaffc&ion of ladiesiw 
gentlewomen, purfues you wherefocver you goe, Monfieur. 

Fast. Now, in good faith (and as lam gentle) there could not w- 

come a thing, i' this world, to have diftra&ed me more, than the vwin* 

led fortunes of this poore fpinfter. , 

Maci. O, yes, fir : I can tell you a thing will diftraft you n^ 

better , beleevc it. Signior Peuro has entred three actions ■ agai^ 

you, three actions, Monfieur-, marry, one of them ( Tie put you in co* 

fort) is but three thou (and, and the other two, fomc five thoufand apetfi 

trifles, trifles. 

Fast. O, iam undone. 



pniuu iqiaittjinatnnciptoo, ana men uxc-icore pouna tor d i "—.i 

you know where. Thcfe be things will weigh, Monfieur, they will wcJg 

Fast. O, heaven I t 

Maci • What, doc you figh > this it is to kifTe the hand of a county 

to nave her coach fent for you , to hang poinards in lady s garters, to ^ 

tiery Man out of bis Humour, 

i ;i 

bracelets of their hairc, and for every one of thefc great favours to give 
fomc flight jewcll of five hundred crowncs,or fo, why'cis nothing. Now, 
Monfieur, you fee the plague that treads o' the hecles of your foppcrie : 
well, goeyourwaiesin, remove your fclfe to the two-penny ward quick- 
ly, to five charges, and there fet up your reft to fpend fir Punt aRS hun- 
dred pound for him. Away, good pomander, goe. 
Why, here's a change! Now is my foule at peace. 
I am as emptie of all envie now, 
As they of merit to be envied at. 
My humour ( like a flame ) no longer lafts 
Than it hath ftuffc to feed it ; and their folly, 
Being now rak'r up in their repentant afhes, 
Affords no ampler fubjeel: to my fpeenc. 
I am fo farre from malicing their flares, 
That I begin to pitty 'hem. It grieves me 
To think they have a being. I could wim 
They might turne wife upon it, and be fav'd now, 
So heav'n were pleas'drbut let them vanifh, vapors. 
Gentlemen, how like you it? has't not bcene tedious? 

C RE X. 

Cor. Nay, we ha done cenfuring, now. 

Mit. Yes, faith. 

Maci. How fo? 

Cor. Marry, becaufe wce'le imirate your A&ors, and be out of out 

Humours . Befides, here are thofe ( round about you ) of more abilitle in 
cenfure than wee, whofe judgements can give it a more fatisfying al- 
lowance: wee'le refer you to them. 

Maci. I? is'te'en fo? Well, gentlemen, I fhou Id have gone in, and 
rcturn'd to you, as I was Asper at the firft: but(by rcafon the fhifr would 
have bcene fofflewhat long, and we are loth to draw your patience fcr- 
dcr) wee lc intrcat you to imagine it. And now (that you may fee I will 




the bountie of your good liking 

makclcaneMAciLENTE as fat as Sir John Fal-staffe. 

rry, I will not doe as PL autus , in his Ampvyrrto, iot air tnis ^ aumms 
is caufa, Phuditc : ) begge a PUudite, for Gods fake ; but if you (out of 
bountie of your good liking ) will beftow it; why, you may ( in time ) 








Epilos ue 



at the plantation before 

° Eiizabeth > 





k^e of humour bn«<M **- 
And as our cities torrent (bent t infeft 
The haUow'd bowels of the filvcr Tbm*) 
is ch ekt by length, and clcarnefe of the river, 
TiU it hathVntlt felfe cen at the toe 3 
So, in the ample and unmeafurd floud 
Of ber r erfe£tions,are my paflions drown d. 
And I have now a fpirit as fwect and cleare, 
As the raoft rarcfi'd and fubtile aire. 
With which, and with a heart as pure as fire, 
( Yet humble as the earth ) doe I implore, 
O heaven, that {hcc(whofc prefence hath effected 
This change in me) may fufter mod late change 
In her admir'd and happie government : 
May (till this IlaxAbc cAl'd fortunate, 
And rusged treafon tremble at the found 
When Fame mail fpeak it with an e-mpbajh. 
Let forrain politie be dull as lead, 
And pale invafion come with balje a heart, , 
When he but Iqoks upon her bleffcd foile. 
,Thc throat of watte be ftopt within her land, 
And turtle-footed ycace dance fay it rings 
About her court: where, never may there come 
Sufpe&, or danger, but all rruft, and fafetic: 
Let flatterie be dumb, and envie blind 

In her dread prefence: Death himfclfe admire her: 

And may her vermes make him to forget 

The ufc of his inevitable hand. 

Flic from her A^c; fleep Time before her throne, 

Oui flrongeft wall falls do.vne, when fliee is gone. 





t • 

A Comicall Sacyre. 

Firft Adted in the yeere i 6 o o. By the then 

Children of Queen Elizabeths Chappell. 

With the allowance of the M after 


The Author B. L 

Nafutum liolo, nolo polftofum* 


Printed by Ri chard Bish 


M. DC. XL. 







- .' 











The Court, , H 

Hou &rt a bountiful! , ahd brave 
Spring: and water eft all the noble 
Tlants of this Hand. //; thee, the 
whole l(ingdome dreffeth it felfe, 
and is ambitious to ufe thee as her 
glaffe. 'Beware, then, thou ren- 
______ der mens figures truly, and teach 

them no leffe to hate their deformities , than to love their 
formes : For, to grace, there* fiould come reverence • and 
no man can call that lowly, which is not alfo venerable. It 

is not pould' ring, perfuming, and every dayfmeUing of the 
Taylor, that concerted to a beautiful objeH : but a mind, 
Jhining through anyfute, which needs nofalfe light either 
of riches, or honours, to helpe it. Such (halt thou find fome 
here, even in the raigne o/Cynt'hu (a C R i t e s, 
and an A R e t eJ 3^«, under thy P h ocbu s, it 
will be thy province to make more : Except thou defirefl to 
have thy lource mix with the Spring of 


dijcovery §f 

Thy fcrvant, but not flave, 










The Perfons of the Play. 



H E D O N. 


An a i d e s. 

Pros aites- 

fee ch o. 


■ l 





Mo rus. 

Co s. 

Gel ai a. 


** * 

, Thau ma. ^Mutcs. 






The principall Comoedians 

Nat.iT 1eld _j 0h> Underwood. 
Sal. Pavy. XRob. Baxter. 

Tho. Day. 

J oh. Frost. 



I -* 







. ■ 




(tAfier the fecond 



By Three Of The Children. 

Ray you away ; why felibwes I Gods fo ? what dee 
you meane > • ■ v : 

2 . Marry that you {hall not (peak the P r0m 
iogue, fir. ' c " ' 

3 . Why ? doc voii hope ro fpeak if ? 

2 . I, and I think I have moft right to it : I 
am fare tftudiedit firft'. •' 

3. That's allone, if the Author think I can 
fpeake it better. 

i.I plead pofleflion of the cloake : Gen- 
tles, your fufrragesl pray you. 

IF Why Children, arc you not afham'd ? come in there. 

3 . Slid, l'lc play nothing I'rhc Play : unlelfe 1 fpeak it. 

1. Why, will you fta'nd to moft voyecs of- the gentlemen ? let that 
decide iW • - 

3. Ono, fir gallant; you prcfumeto have the ftart of us there, and that 
makes you offer fo prod lirallyv 

1. No, would I were whipt,' if I had anytuch thought : trie it by 
lots cither. 

2. Faith, I cfcfrc tempt my fortune in a greater ventaretta this. 

3. Well ftid,rcfalutc /****, lam" content too ribwec draw firft. Make 
the cuts. 

1. Butwillyounotfnatchmycloake 5 whilclamftooplng? 
3. No, wee fcome rfeacherk*. 

2. Which'cut (lull fpeake it? n - ' 


3- The (IswtcIL 

* / 





~-n,, Itatcft is come CO the fliottcft. F OTW( 

i. . SSgLJiSa K? Noiv ' fir> x hopc l goc rrad 

without your envie. luck . i W asonce plucking at theotSw, 

. Sta V y , felt . sl « d > 1 c 1 ,nyrcirc on the Authot : fince 1 foeak no, hi, 
bee nothingbut «>wf^ 1 f his PU y afore-hand, and fo fcfc 

r„to.«. He g° c "• " a , ' ' „ b ?fotc it come forth. 

SJSSi? JS»S heW it come forth. 
i . O, doc not io. 



with ^\ CURXE h^„orrMEKcaRY in it, and burne it for an here 
^«^!5^ D ^^«dont. Mercury, he (intl* 
uque in / o« t 0<'. ■f-.wPrrHn who weeps over her Love, or 

nature of a Conjurer) rai &» "P^^°'. w ^ J e f prin g wherein 'the 

Daffodil!, ^"J^S Selfe avvay : anSthelc's anend of 
5 kT^pPibcs Cupid attends on Philautia, or felfe-Love,i 


( ar iSiaS my part : ) one that keepes laughter ■ Gelma the daughta 
S ( . JSf in boyes attire ) to wait on him—- ; Th* , .* 
court! meet with Amorphus, or t\* deformed, a traveller that h 
drunkc of the fountain , and there tels the wonders of the wa er T£ 
prefently difpatch away their Pages with bottles to fetch of it, and thflfr 
felvesROcto vifit the ladies. But I Aould have told you-— -(L« 
thefe emcts put me out here) that with this Amorphus, there comes* 
long a citizens heire, Asotus, or the frodigall, who (in imitation o t 
traveller, who hath the vheifone following him) the eeggW 
be his attendant.- ■ Now, the Njmfhs who are miftrefles to theteg"* 
lants,arc Philaut i h,[clfe-L<rue ; Phant aste,* lightmttynejje ; AW fr 
rion monit'y and their GuardUn, mother Moria or miftrelTe/o^« — - 
i. Pray thee no more. 

3. There Cupid ftrikes Monte in love with the prodigal/, ouke* J ff 
dote upon him, give him jewels, bracelets, carkencts, &c. all which j# 
mod ingenioufly departs withall to be made knownc to the other M* 
and gallants 5 and in the heat of this* increafes his traine with the }** 

to follow him, as well as the he^gtr.- By this time, your «^ 

begins to wait clofc, who is rcturn'd with the reft of his fellow bp ttlJ ' 

men. There they all drink,fave ARGURioN,who is falnc into 

fudden apoplexie. . 

1. Stop his mouth. 

3 . And then, there's a retired fcholler there, you would not wifa *^f, 
to be better contemn d of a focietic of gallants, than it is : and he apPj 
his fervice (good gentleman) to the ladic Arete^ vertu^ a poore ^ 

Cynthia's Vieyclls. 


of Cy nth 1 a's traine, that's fcarccableto buy herfclfc a gOwne, you (hall 
fee her play in a black robe anon : A creature, rhat ( I a (tore you ) i s no 
kflc fcorn'd, than himfelfc. Where am I now ? at a ftand ? 
3. Come, leave atlaft, ycr. 

3 . O, the night is come, (t'was fomewhat dark, mec thought) and Cyn- 
thia intends to come forth: (That helps ita little yet.) All the cour- 
tiers muft provide for Revels 5 they conclude upon a Mafque, the device of 

which, is (whar, will you ravifh mce ? ) that each of thefe vices, be* 

mg to,appcare before Cynthia, would fecme other thafi indeed they are ■ 
and therefore a flume the mod neighbouring venues as their masking ha- 
bitcs. (l'ldccric,a rape, but rhat you arc children.) 

2 . Come, wee 'Je have no more of this anticipation : to <* ivc them the 
inventory of their cates a forehand, were the difciplinc of 2 raverne and 
nor fitting this prcfcncc. . ... ' 

1. Tut, this was but to fhew us thchappineffe of his memory. I thought 
at firft, l.e would have plaid the ignorant critique With every thine, aloW 
as he had gone; I expeAcd fo mefuch device. ° 

O, you fhafl fee me doe that, rarely ; lend me thy cloakc. 

Soft, hr, you'Je fpeak my Prologue in it. 

No, would I might never ftirrc then. 

Lendit him,lcndit him. 

Wcl 1, you have fwornc. ' . , 

. . 1 have Now, fir fuppofc I am one of your gentile auditors, that: 
am come in ( having paid my money at the doore, with much adoe) and 
here I rak e my place, and fit downc \ I have my three forts of Tabacco in 
my pocket my light by me, and thus I begin: By this light, I wonder that 

any man is ft > mad, to come to fee thefe rafcallyrV;, «*&& \ They ***M 

doc a£t like fo many mem, or «***" ijotehkrehpartof a good Jf/* ** 

faccamongft them all. And then their nii#ck is abominable — able 

to ftrctch a mans cares worfe than ten —pillories and their die 

T "J? ft lam £ nr \ blc thin g s ' ii^thepitifull m$m that make" 

them Poets. By this vapour, an' 'twere not for Tabacco - t 

think— —the very ftenchof hem would poifon mce, I Oiould not dare 

to come in at their gates A man were better vifit fifteen jay Is — or 

a dozenortwo Of hofpirals thanoncc adventure to come Veere them 




How is'r ? Well ? 

1. Excellent: give mce my cloakc. 

3 . Stay 5 you fbaU fee me doe another now : but a rhbre fober, or better: 

m t C tS An 1 1 ' 1S ( r aS * ,niy bC chou ShO Tome friend, or well-wik-r 
torhc houic : And here I enter. 

1. What? upon the fhge, too '* . 

youhJc'aflohl 1 ^^ 111 ^^ 

3- Aftoo!e,boy? 

V v u y ? l ' Ic S ivc mc fix P cncc > He fetch you :ohe. ■ ' 
3- Forvvhatlpraythee? whatlTaali I doe with it > 

Your fen ein ft 11 W 'u J ^^ your ignorance fo much? why throne 
your ^I^nftateonrheftagcasochergcnrlcmeriurcfir: 

thcbovrIt y5 ' Vag;gC r ; ***&"&**$ choumakeanimplen.enrorme ? Slid 
tfacboytakesmceforapeeceof^r/^^^lholdmy life) orfomefTlke 

P 2 curtain, 




"' Cynthia's . _ 

TX7^ here ' fir crack, I am none or your for], p - 

curtain, come to bangthe italic ^ ^^ fo a pubhck ^ 
autcs,tbaturetobcaunficaie tnott , 

2. 'Tisa 
and your better 

^SN^^^?} buc * wouia fpMk with your Au * 

tfaour, when* hec r ? ^ ^ are not fo offi cloudy be fri cn . 

i Jt !?« a so 1 av his pretence in tbe tyring-houfe, to prompt . usa- 
dedby -him, » to na ^" h Wcr fwcare tor our properties, curfc t| lc 
loud, top ^ the booV* WW ^ and {wcat f vm 

itf£R^ W would > lf hccha fuch fitt * 

a Nav crack,be not dif-heartncd. 

I' NotI fir-butifyouplcafctoconferrewithour Autho^byaim. 
' „\m w f • ou proper fclfc here, ftands for him. 
^^SEfflfi feriousWairetonegotiate.vith hi. b, 
what may very fafely bee tum'd upon thy truft. It is in the generally 
Life of this (aire focictic here that 1 am to fpeak , at leaft the more «t 
cious part of it, which fecmes much diftaftcd with the immodeft and ot> 
fcene writing of many, in their playes. Bcfidcs, they could wifh, yout 
Potts would leave to bee promoters of other mens jefts, and to way-hy all 
the Mc Wtbevmcs, or old books, they can hcarc of ( in print, or other- 
wiCc ) to farce their Scenes withali. That they would not fo penunoufy 
gleanewic, from every laundreflc, or hackney-man, or derive their bell 
grace (with fen-ile imitation) from common ftages, orobfervationoftfcf 
company they convcrfe with; as if their invention liv'd wholy upon ano- 
ther mans trencher. Againe, that- feeding their friends with nothmgoi 
their owne, but what they have twice or thrice cook'd, they (hould not 
wantonly give out, how foone they had drcft it j nor how many coach« 
came tocarric away the broken-meat, bcfidcs hobbie-horfes , 3nd foot- 
cloth nags. 

2. So, fir, this is all the reformation you fecke? 

$. It is : doc not you think it neccflarie to be pra&i/.'d. my little wJg? 

2. Yes, where any fuch ill-habited cuftome is rccciv'd. 

3. O ( 1 had almoft forgot it too ) they fay, the umbra , or ghoftiw 
fome three or fourc playes, depar red 1 dozen yecres fince , have beenc fe* 
walking on your ftageherc : take heed, boy, if your houfe bee haunt" 
with fuch bob-goblins, 'twill fright away all your fpelhtors quickly; 

2. Good, fir 3 butwhat will you &y now, it .1 />o**( untouch! wkM 

breath of this diieafc) find the tokens upon you , that arc of the auditors 

As forae one civet-wit among you, that knowes no other learning, tltf ; 

the price of fatten and velvets; nor other perfection, than the wearing 

a neat fute 5 and yet will ccnfuTC as defperatcly as the moll ptofcfs»^ 

"que in the houfe : prcfuming his clothes fhould bcarc him out int. W 

Jhcr (whom it hath plcas'd nature to fomith with more beard, *J 

Drainc) prunes his muftaccio v Ur P s,and(witrifome fcore of arfetfed oW. 

iwears downc all that fit about him * That the old Hier^imo^xs it **» 

a^cd ) M , tbe mly hji , *nd judical? ?cm i ? i ay of EurQ?c , A third g*|J 


Cynthia's *Rf veils. 


Tbe third founding. 


IF gracious filence, fweet attention, 

1 Quick fight, and quicker apprchenfion, 

(The lights of judgements throne ) fiiine any where j 

Our doubtfull Author hopes this is their fphcre. 

And therefore opens he himfclfe to thofc ; 

To other weaker bcames, his labours clofe: 

As loth to proflitutc their virgin ftraine, 

To ev'rie vulgar, and adult'rate brainc, 

In this alone, his Muse her fwcctnclTc hath, 

Shce fhunns the print of any beaten path; 

And proves new wayes to come to learned cares: 

Pied ignorance fliec neither loves, nor feares. 

Ncr hunts fliec after popular applaufe, 

Or fomie praifc, that drops from common jawes: 

The garland that fhee wcarcs, their hands muj* twin 

Who can both cenfure, underftand, define 

What merit is : Then caft thofe piercing raics, 

Round as a crownc, in ftcad of honour d bayes, 

About his poefte-, which (he knowes ) affords 

Words, above adion : matter, above words. 









Acl; 1. Scene i. 

Cupid, Mer 

Ho goes there ? 
Mer. 'Tis I, blind archer. 

Cup. Wh0?MERCURlE? 



■ I 


Mer. I. 
Cup. Farewell. 
Mer. Stay, Cupid. 


P3 Mer: 




feSiuVVhy ^i Ut ^u°|u ,r? not a finger, but is as long as my qui . 
Cur. Bccaufc I ^VL you plcafc to extend it. 

v« ( ^^2SSS tl- fpeecb, boy K , 

-1&. ^5^58'^ You c 

° JP - °^ord y our 8& <M* you P nor QBBT»N« 

bowe? no, 
they arc as tender as the 

.. V i«> jv- > 

Apollo's bowe? no 

lid never ftcajj 
s trident ? noj 



not you ? Alas, your primes (Jupiter know C5) 
e foot Of a foundrcd naggc, or a lady s face Gc * 

K^^^Si bedaring ftill. 

f g£E SjS Twbat a S3 is there ? .by my l ig l u , 

\.y m W?J^«™> anymore than my uncle Joves pud* 

u X;!'d _ coufs v what ate you? anymore man my uncic joves pand ir , 
; ther-hceldcouis,vfim > 7 d whlfper a hght { 

a lacquey, that w ^th fo^fround volubilitie, wait mannerly at a* 
• »^ % Y£S^SSSL a crovvde a little, fill out ^ 

bTwitb a trencher, andwarb* upon a c^ — J—^ 

r:fi£:S «** winch a™ «? 

rXsheadovcr-night^anbruanhe carpets, cal the ftoolesagainc to 
theh-u aces play the crycrofthccourt with an audible VO y ce >. and ? 
tZ&%Zt uponyou at wrcftlings, pleadings, negotiations, &c. 
He?e ? s the catalogue o' your imployments now;. O no, I crre, you he 
SeLma Hng of all the ghoftsVb, that paffe Ac W ferrpndl 
S you for a mare witli the old fculler thereof the truth were know*, 
but let that fcape. One other peculiar vertue you poflelTe, in lifting a 
ltmr.du-tMine\ , (which few of the houfe of.lteavn have die befides)! 
muftconfeffe. But (mee thinks) that mould not make you put .that a 
trearaediftance twixt yourfelfe and others, that we fhouldbe faidtoow 
dare in fpeaking to your nimble itititi So Hercules, might challcDgf 
priority of us both, becaufe hee can throw the barre farther, or hit mot: 
joyn'dftoolcsatthearmesend, than we. If this might carry it, thcnwfi 

"vcller of eightecne, tobc fecne in- 

Mer. How now 1 my dancing braggart in cUclmo jexto ! charme JOB 

skipping tongue, or lie—- 

Cup. What ?ufe the venue of your fnakie tip-ftaffc there upon us? 
Mer. No, boy, but the fmart vigor of my palme about youf <** 
You have forgot fince I tooke your heels up into ayre (on the very w* 
I was borne) in fight of all the bench of Jetties, when the filvel tpofc 
the Olympian palace rungagainc with-applaufc of the fact. ^ 

Cup. no, I remember it frefhly, and by .1 particular inftance;^ 
my mother Venus (at the fame time) but ftoopt to Smbraec you. 
(to fpeak by metapbore) you borrowed a girdle of hers, as you did 1° 
fcepter (while he was laughing) and Would have done his thunder, 1 
but that 'twas toohot for your itching fingers. 
Mer. Tis well, fir. J 

Cup. I heard, you but look't in at Vui cans forge tlie orhcr^ 
andintreatcd apaircof his new tongs along with you, for comply * ■,. 
joy on you (y faith) that you will keep your hook'd rattans in B 1 ^ 

Cynthia's %eveUs. 

with anything. 'Slight, now you are on earth, wee fha 11 have you filch 
fpoones and candle-Kicks, rather than faile: pray [o ve the perfum'd cour- 
tiers keep their caftii g-bottlcs, pick-tooths, and (hittle-cocks from you " 
or our more ordinaric gallants their tabacco-boxes, for I am ftrangcly jea- 
lous of your nailes. 

Mer. Ne'retruftmc, Cupid, but you arc turn'd a mod acute gallant 
of Luc, the edgeof my wit is cleanc taken off with the fine and fubtile 
Arokeofyour thin-gronnd tongue, you fight with too poinanr a phrafc, 
for mccto deale with. . " 

Cup. O Hermes, your craft cannot make mee confident. I know 
my ownc ftccle to be alrrloft fpent, and therefore intreate my peace 
with you, in time : you are too cunning for mee to encounter at length 
and I think it my fa fc ft ward to clofe. ' 

Mer. Well, for oncci, 11c fuffer y6uto winnc upon mce,wa<Tgc, but 
ufe not thefe ftraines too often, they'le ftrctch my patience. Whither 
might you march, now ? 

Cup. Faith (to recover thygood.thoughts) lie difcover my whole 
project. The HumrcfiTe, and queen of thefe groves, Diana (in regard 
of ibmc black and envious flandcrs hourely breath'd againft her, fo/hcr 
divine jufticc on AcTEOM,asfhec:prctends)rrath here in the vale of Gar- 
gapbj, proclaimed a folcmnc revclls, which (bcrgod-head put off) (he will 
defcend to grace, with the full and royallexpenccof one of hcr.clecrcft 
moones : In which rime, it (hall be iawfull for all forts of ingenuous pcr- 
fbns, to vifit her palace, to court her Nymphs, toicxcrcife all variety Of 
generous and noble paitimes,as welL'to 'intimate howfarrc flic treads fuch 
malicious imputations beneath her, as alfo to fhew tow clearc her beau-" 
tiesare from theleaftwrinckleofaiitterityjtliey.miy be charge! with. 

Mer. Bur, what is all this to Cupid? '! 

Cup. Here doe 1 meane to put off the title ofa.god, and rake the h.i- 
bite ofa page, in which difguife (during the iptv'vn of thefe revclls) I will 
get to follow feme one df Diana's; maides, where (if my- bowe hold 
and my fhafts fly but with.halfc the willingncfle, and aimcriiey are dire- 
cted) I doubt not, but I (hall really redeerae the minutes I Iiavc loft, by 
their fo long and over-nice profcription Of ray deitie, from their court. 

Mer. Purfueit (divine Cupid) it; will be rare. 

Cup. But will Hermes- fecond mee > 

Mer. I am now to put in act anefpeciall defigncment from my father 
Jo v e ,but that pcrform'd, I am for any frefh action/that 6nxrs i it fe 1 fc. 

Cup. Well, then wee part. 

Mer. Farewell, goodwagg. , 

Now, to my charge, Eccho, fairc E'c'c!ho, fpeak. 
Tis Mercurie that calls thee, forrdwfull^/^A. 
^alutc me wirh thy repcrcuflive voyce, 
That 1 may know what cavcrne of tlic .earth :': •, 
Containes thy ayrie fpirir, how, or Where 
1 may direct my fpeech, that thou njaift hcare. 

■ -. 

' . ftl 



■ ' 




1 6i 






A3 U 

Scene 1 1 



Er<s ■ U > 


E < CC - L, gentle foulc) then, I am fcntfiomJovE, 
M E r. kno» (p« d b h of thy woes, 

Who (^"8 ^ tothy want of words, 

Which hive beenc exercisd in Juno s lpignw 
Thou take a corporall font, and afcend, • 
Enricht with vocall and articulate power. 

Mike haftc, fad JQHft thrice A* l ra ? m g ^ 
iKfWC eanb, to £■> thee way. 

Arifc, and fpeak thy forrowes,Ecc!HO, rile, 
Here, by this fountain where thy Love did pine, 
Whofe memory lives frefti to vulgar fame, 
Shrind in this yellow flower, that bcarcs his »««. 

Ecc. His name revives, and lifts me up from earth. 
O, which way (hall 1 firft convert ray fclfe? 
Or in what mood mail I afiay to fpeak, 
That (in a moment) i may bit delivered 
Of the prodigious griefe I goe withall? 
See, fee, the mourning fount, whole fprings weep yet 
Th' untimely rate of that too beauteous boy, 
That tr6ph«e of. felfc-lovc, and fpoyle of nature, 
Who (now rransform'd into this drouping flower) 
Hangs the repentant head, bade: -from the ftreame, ... 
As if k wUh^ would 1 had never iook'd 
1 n . fucb a fia-tt'ring mirrour. O N ar cu sus , 
Thou that waft once (and yet art) my Narcissus 5 
HadEccHo but beene private with thy thoughts, 
Shce would have dropt away her (clfc in teares, 
Till mee had all tum'd water, 'that in her, 
(As in a truer glalte) thou mightft have, gazd, 
And feene thy beauties by more kind rcfle&ion. 
But felfc-love never yet could lookc on truth, 

But with blcard bcames^ flickc flattcric arid focc 

Arc twin-borne fifters, and fo mix their cyes> 

As if you fever one, the other dyes. 

Why did the gods give thee a hoav'nly forme, 

And earthly thoughts, to make thee proud of it ? 

Why, doe 1 aske ? Tis now the knownc difeafe 

That bcautie hath, to bearc too deepe a fenfc 

Of her owne fllfe-conccivcd excellence. 

O, hadft thou kownc the worth of hcavns rich gift, 

Cynthia's %eDells> 



Thou wouldft have tum'd it to a truer ufc, 
And not (with ftarv'd, and covetous ignorance) 
Pin'd in continuall eying that bright gemm, 
Tbe glance whereof to others had beenc more, 
Than to thy famifht mind the wide worlds ftore: 
"So wretched is it to be mcerly rich. 
VVitneflTc rhy youths ctearc fwects, here fpent untafteci, 
Like a fairc taper, with h,is owne flame wafted. 

Mer. EccHO,bc briefe, Saturnia is abroad, 
And if iTicc hcare, mce'le ftormc at Joves high will 

Ecc. 1 will ( kind Mercurie) be briefe as time. 
Voiichfafc roe, I may doc him thefe laft rites, 
15 ut kiflc his flowre, and fing fome mourning ftraine 
Oyer his watrie hcarfe. Mer. Thou doft obtaine. 
1 were no fonne to Jove, mould I deny thee, 
Begin, and (more to grace thy cunning voyce) 
The humorous ayre mail mix her folemnc tunes, 
With thy fad words : ftrikc mufick from the fpheares, 
And with your golden raptures fwell our cares. 


QLow, /Iow y frefb fount, keep time .with my fab teares • 
° Tet flower, yet, O faintly gentle fprings ; 
Lift to the heavy part the mufick beares, 

v -tvoe weeps out her divifion, when free fings. . 
Droup hearbs, and flowres • 
Fall grief e in fhowres • 
a Oar beauties are not oars : ' 

O, I could fiill 
{Like melting fnow upon- fome craggy hill,) " 

drop, drop, drop, drfip, 
Since natures pride if, now, aw ithe/d dag odili. 

Mer. Now, ha* you done? 

Ecc Done prefently (good Hermes) bide a little, 
Suffer thy thirftie eye to gaze a while, 
But e'en to tafte the place, and J am vaniftuv 

Mer. .Forgoe thyufe, and libertie of tongue, 
And thou maid dwell on earth, and fport thee there. 
'Ecc. Here yong Act eon fell, purfu'd, and torne 
By Cynthia's wrath (more eager, than his hounds) 
And; here (ay me, the place is fatall) fee i - 
The weeping Nio be, tranflated hither 
From Phrygian mountaines : and by Phoebe reard 
As the proud trophasc of her (harp revenec.- 

Mer. Nay,buthcarc. 

v?*i But herc> ° ^ ere ' thc£w*M/W of felfe-Love, 
.In whicn Latona, and her carcleiTc Nymphs, ■ 

(KcgardlciTc of my forrowes) bathe themfelves 

In hourcly pleafures. Mer. Stint thy babling tongue; 

r-ond bcc H o,thou prophanft the grace is done thee: 

• ¥ 





- — TI^TT^-crcW made of voice ) 

So idle worldlings ( mt««y ComC} avvaVj 

Ccnfurc the powers above r ^ ^ ^^ nQ ft;iy> 
Jove calls thee hence a c thought to dothe 

Ecc O, ftay: 1 haj du t } t gQc< 

In ayrie gf^jSrbus, and murthcring fpring, 
Henceforth , thouw^ f ; ^ L w . 

Be ever call d the ££ fe rcmainc> 

**£ No C w;S, I am for you, and your mirth, 
To nuke me light before I leave the earth. 

M !. Scene nt. 

Amorphus, Eccho, Me r curie. 


DEarc fpark of beautie , make not fo fa ft away. 
Ecc. Away. 
Mer. Stay, let me obferve this portent yet. 
Amo. I am neither your ^/^fl«^, nor your Centaure, nor 70111 5* 
tyre, nor your Hytna , nor your Babion, but your mere travailcr, belecvcmc. 

Ecc. Leave me. ' . J - 

Mer. I guefs'd it fhould bee fomc travailing motion purlude to 

cho Co. 
Amo . Know you from whom you flie ? or whence e 

Ecc. Hence. 

Amo. This is fomewhat above ftrange! a -Nymph of her feature, J» 
lineament, to be fo prepofterouily rude ! well, 1 will but coolc nay fclU 
at yon* fpring, and follow her. 

Mf.r. Nay, then I am familiar with the ifliie: Tie leave you too. 
Amo. lam a Rhinoceros \ if I had thought a creature of her j}*Jr8| 
could have dar'd fo impropbrtionable ; and abiupt a digrefliOn. Lib^ ' ; 
and divine fount, furfcrmy propharie 'hand to take of thy bounties- ») 
the puritie of my tafte, here is moft ambrofiacke water ; I will fup of « J" 
gaine. By thy favour, fwcet fount. See, the water ( a more running, J* 
tile, and humorous Nymph than (hee) permits mc to touch , and h^ 
her. \Vhat(hould I inferre? If ray behaviours had beene of a cheap* 
cuftomarie garbc ; my accent, or phrafe vulgar ; my garments trite* 'J 
countenance illiterate ; or unpra&izd in the incountcr of a beautiful an 
brave-attir'd pcecc; then I might (with fome change of colour ) ^ 
fufpeded my faculties : but ( knowing my fcjfc an cffcncc Co fabling 
and rcfin d by travcll ; of fo ftudicd, and well exerc » d a gefture ; To f 
"J faniionj able to render the face of any ftatef-man living j and to ¥ 
the mere extraction of language ; one that hath now made tl.c fiwjj 

Cynthia's 'Revells. 

turnb upon venter; and was your firft that ever inrichthiscountrcy with 
the true lawes of the duello ; whofc optiqaes have drunk the fpirit of beau- 
tie, in fome eight fcore and eighteen Princes courts, where 1 have refided, 
and beene there fortunate in the amours of three hundred fortie and five 
ladies (all nobly, if not princely defcended ) whole names I have in cata- 
logue; to conclude, in all fo happy, as even admiration her fclfedoth 
fecme to faftenher kiffesupon me : Ccrtes, I doe neither fee, nor fecle, nor 
tafte, nor favour the leaft fteame, or fume of a reafon, that fhould invite 
this fooliiri faftidious Nymph t {6 pccvifhly to abandon me. Well, let the 
memorie of her, fleet into aire; my thoughts and I 

i 6 j 

am for this other 

element, water. 



Scene lv. 

CritEs, Asotus, Amorphus. 

WHat ! the wcl-dycted Amorphus become a water-drinker ? I 
fee hemeancs not to write verfes then. 
Aso. No, C rites? why ? 
C Ri . Becaufe Nee placerc diu, nee vivere carmina po/J'unty qua 

fcribuntur aqua potoribw. 

Amo* What fay you to your Helicon? 
Cri. O, the Muses well ! that's ever excepted. 
Amo. Sir, your Muses ha ve no fuch water, I aflure you ; your Netfar, 
or the juyce of your Nepenthe is nothing to it$ 'tis above your Metheglin^ 

belccve it. 

As o . Metheglin ! what's that, fir ? may I be fb audacious to demand i 

Amo. A kind of Greeke wine I have met with, fir, in my travaiJes : it is 

the lame that Demosthenes uiually drunk, in the compofure of all 

his exquifite, and mellifluous orations. 

Cri. That's to be argued (Amorphus) if we may credit Lucian, 

who in his Encomio D emofihenif affirmes, he never drank but water in any 

of his compofitions. 

Amo. Lucian is abfurd, hee knew nothing : I will beleeve mine 

owne travailes, before all the Luci ans o^Furopt. He doth feed you with 

fittons, figments , and lcafings. 

Cri . Indeed ( I think ) next a travailer, he do's prettily well. 

Amo. I aflure you it was wine, I have tafted it, and from the hand of 

an Italian Antiquarie^ who derives it authentically from the Duke of Fcr- 

rara's bottles. How name you the gentleman you are in ranke with 

there, fir ? 

Cri. 'Tis Asotus, fonne to the late deceas'd Phil arc yrus the 

Amo. Was his father of any eminent place, or meanes ? 

Cri. He was to have beene Pr<etor next ycere. 

Amo. Ha I A prettie formall young gallant, in good footh •• pitty, be 
is not more gentilely propagated. Hark you, C rites, you may fay to 
him, what I am, if you pleafe : though I affect, not popularitie, yet I would 
be loth to (land out to any, whom you fhall vouchfafe to call friend. 

Cri . Sir, I feare I may doc wrong to your fufficiencies in the repor- 






i T 




CJMbia'i 'Titwiii- 

'foryou, -g^SOT^JI will dunk, fir. 
£*?' "■ S ^L' o town! ,h, lt any thing (in t 

the iikencfTe of nu R ) 



8P -Ati! ai r.iiTBS, I b'^e a Cute to you; but you mud not denci*. 

P fp Frierds! Why? istbcrc any difference Ixtweene you? 
a so' No, I meane acquaintance, to know one another. 
Cri ' O now I apprehend you; your phrafc was without me before. 
\so' In crood faith, bee's a mod excellent rare man, I warrant him! 
Cri.' 'Slight, they arc mutually enamor 4ty this time ! 
Aso. Will you, fwcet CriTes ? 

Cri. Yes, yes. . 

Aso. Nay, butwhen? you lc defe rre it now,and forget it. 

Cri. Why, is't a thing of fuch prefent ncccflitie } that it requires 

lb violent a diipatcb? , 

Aso. No, but (would I might never ftirre) bees a moft ravifliing 

man .'good CRiTES,youlV>allendearemc to you, in good faith-law. 

Cri. Well, your longing mail be fatisfied,,fir. 

Aso, And withall, you may tell him what my father was, and \m 

well lice left nice, and that I am his heire. 

Cri. Leave it to mee, lie forget none of your deare graces, I war- 
rant- you. 

Aso.. Nay, I know yon can better marmall thefe affaires than I can- 
O gods J I'dcgivc all. the world (if I, had it) for abundance of fuch ac- 

Crt. What ridiculous circuraftance might I devife now, to befto* 
this reciprocal! brace of butter-flics one upon another I 

Amo. Since I trode on this fide the 4lpes, I was not fo frozen inrof 
invenion. Let me fee: to accoft,himwith fomc: choice remnant ofty* 
*#fc or luxl'ixt.l- that would indifferently expreiTc my languages now : mar- 
ry then, if he fhould fall out to be ignorant, it were both hard, and harm- 
Howelfc ? ftcp into fome ragioni^ljlato, and fo make my induction ? tb« 
were above him too ; and out of his element, I feare. Fei<me to have fecne 
bim ^Vtatce or Pad**! or fome face nccrc his in fimilimde? 'tis too pofr 
ted, srulopen. No,.t niuft be a more qucinr, and collateral! device A$- 
itay: to frame fome eheomhftick fpeech upon this our Metropolis, or * 
wile m32Lftratc<; thpr/r»f ,„ ...u:~l^\:~:L l__ •.•_ _ j' . • ^ ut |,2s U- 

thcir ft 

■ % twf l ftrarcs thcrcof > »B whicb politique number, 'tis ods, but h 
UK* falldup a roome ? defcend into a particular admiration of thci 

1 i\Cr?°rl -v mcarurin K of coales,burningof Cannes, and fuch If !' 
IJlvcv' ,g, S nj in P ullin gdowneafuperftiriouscrofIe,and adv* 
uSAf FWfy^* Place of it > ha > 'twill doc well. <** 
o Lrr,LT h i° rpi L a11 ^ wl ? ofc «*»« record his father a, terfsBo,** 
h s n a Tll JCke r> ft0wd °, nhis P^i^-church, in his life time, f 
oSW Cfor vvantofarmes) trickt upon them ? Any of the e 
«Pp*i(c tbe cleanncfle of the ftrect, wherein hce dwelt ? or the ftf 


Cynthia's Tievells. 

dent paintingof his pofts againft he fliould have becne Pratori Or (lea- 
ving his parent) come to fome fpeciall ornament about himfelfe , as his 
rapier, or fome other of his accoutrements ? I have it: Thanks, gracious 

As o. Would I had but once fpoke to him, and then Hee 

comes to mee. 

Amo. Tisa moft curious, and neatly-wrought band, this fame, as I 
have feene, fir. 

Aso. O god, fir. 

Amo. You forgive the humour of mine eye, in obferving it. 
Cri. His eye waters after ir, it fecms. 
Aso. O lord, fir, there needs no fuch apo logic, I alTurc you. 
Cri. I am anticipated : they'll make a folemne deed of gift of thern- 
felves,you fhallfee. 

Amo- Your ribband too do's moft gracefully, in troth. 

Aso. 'Tis the moft gentile, and rcceiv'd weare now, fir. 

Amo. Belccve mee, fir, ( I fpeak it not to humour you) I have 
not feene a young gentleman (generally ) put on his cloathes, with 
more judgement. 

Aso. O, 'tis your pleafure to fay fo, fir. 

Amo. No, as I am vertuous (being altogether un-travel'd ) it ftrikes 
mee into wonder. 

Aso. I doc purpofe to travell, fir, at fpring. 

Amo. Ithinklfhallaffe&you, fir. This laft fpeech of yours hath be- 
gun to make you deare to mee. 

Aso. O god, fir, I would there were any thing in mee, fir, that might 
appeare worthy the lea ft worth inefTe of your worth, fir. I proteft,fir, I 
lhouldcndevour to rtiew it, fir, with more than common regard, fir. 

Cri. O, here's rare motley, fir. 

Amo. Both your dcferr,and your endevours are plentiful!, fufpect rhem 
not : but your fweetdifpofition to travell (I afltireyou) hath made you an- 
other my-felfe in mine eye, and ftruck me humor d on your beauties. 

Aso. 1 would I were the faircft ladic of France for your fake, fir, and 
yet i would travell too. 

Amo. O, you mould digrefie from your felfeelfe : for (beleeve it) 
your travell is your only thing that rectifies, Or (as the Italia* fayes) vi 
reads pronto all' atttoni, makes you fit for aBioa. 

Aso. I think it be great charge though, fir. 

Amo. Charge? why 'ris nothing for a genttemanthat goes private, as 

your felfe, or fo- my intelligence fhall quit my charge at all times. Good 

taith this hat hath polTeft mine eye exceedingly ; 'tis fo prettie, and fan- 

taftick: what? is't a beaver? 

Aso. I , fir, He aiTure you 'tis a beaver, it coft me eight crowncs but 
this morning. ° • 

Amo. After your French account ? 
Aso. Yes,fir. 

Cri . And fo ncere his head ? befhrow mee, dangerous. 
amo. A very prettie falliion (bc)eeve me ) and a moft novel] kind a 
trimmc : your band is conceited too ! 

As °- Sir,kisallatyourfervice. • 

Q_ Amo. 








A m o . O , pardon "* > r ;f vou plcafe to wcare it, you flull doc njec 

a^o. lbcfccchyou,lir,»y r 

a molt infinite grace .^ out of his clothes ? 

Crit. 'Slight, will he Dc ? not offer k attcf the /m/m „ man ^ 

I would vou ItouW cone" mdc . Q denying your courtefic, 

AMO. Sir, I to*^L Ib proper a diftinSion : may I pray yo J 
efpccially, being mvitca uy r 

As of us, fir. 

name, fir? 
Aso. Mynanic is 

Amo!^^^^^ . 
«>/-pfi/r this, in exchange 
* Crit .They'll change doublets anon. 

irake Tour love ( gentle Asoxus ) but let me winne yOQt0 

this time) eftcemcyonr fclfc, in the fir ft rank, of 

yon TOC-iand tefpeaed : thi, is a triviall fellow, too meane, too chap, 
t0 °if I^Er^crowoe, and mine coft mee ei.htta 
,bi CK° r ' tlookt wbenhe would repent him, be has begunne tobec fil 


1 8 AMo S . V Sir?mall 1 fay to you for that hat ? be not fo [ad, be not fo fij- 

itita relique I could not foeafily have departed with, but as the tfam* 

thick of my affeaion 5 you (hall alter it to what forme you plcafe, itwiH 

Jake any block; I have receiv'd it varied (on record ) to the three to 

fandth time, and not fo few ; It haih thefe vertues bcfide ; your head fhsl: 

notakc under it; nor your braine leave you, without licence; It vyiUpre. 

ferve your complexion to eternirie j for no beame of the Sunne ( Inouw 

you wcare it under Zona tdrrida ) hath power to approach it by two ells. 



It is proofe againft thunder, and inchantment : and was given meeoyi 

great man Q in RuJiU) as an cfpeciall-pTu d prefent ; and conftantty anffl" 
to be the hat that accompanied the politick Ulysses in his tcdiou 

andtenyccrestravcUs. . 

Aso. By Jove, I will not depart withall, whofoevcr wouMg 1 * 

me a million. 

Ai U Sc 

ene v. 


Cos, Crites,, Aso- 

tus, Prosaites. 


C Ave you, fweet blouds : do's any of you want a creature, or 

Cri. Bemrcw me, a fine blunt (lave ! J 

. A ; ; °V A n P»S C of &°<>d timber ! it will now bee my grace to dgj 
tame him fir ft, though I cafhecrc him aeaine in private : how art thcu c» 
Cos. Cos, fir, Cos. to K j 

C k i . C o s ? H ow happily hath fortune furnifht h im wit h a *W* 

Cynthia's 'Reveh. 

i 71 

Amo. Hoc entertaineyou, Cos 5 concealeyour qualitie till wee be 
private; if your parts be worthy of me, I will countenance you- if nor, 
catechize you : gentles, fhall wee goe ? 

Aso. Stay, fir ; I'lebutcntertaine this other fellow, and then .1 

have a grea* humour to tafteof this water too, but 1'le come a gaine alone 
for thac — —marke the place. What's your name, youth ? 

Pros. Prosaites, fir. 

Aso. Prosaites ? A very fine name, Crites ? is'tnot ? 

Cri. Ycs,and a very ancient one, fir, the btgoer, 

Aso. Follow nice, good Prosaites : Let's talke. 

Cri. Hce will ranke even with you (cr't be long) 
If you hold on your courfe. Ovanitic, 
How are thy painted beauties doted on, 
By light, and empty idiots ! how purfudc 
With open a'nd extended appetite .' 
How they do fiveat, and run themfelvcs from breathy 
Rais'd on their toes, to catch thy ayric formes, 
Still turning giddic, till they reele like drunkards, 
That buy the merry madncne of one hourc, 
With the long irkfomenefle of following time! 

how defpis'd and bafe a thing is a man, 

If he not ftrive t'ercA his groveling thoughts 
Above the drain of fletri I But how more cheap, 
When , even his belt and understanding part, 
(The crown and ftrength of all his faculties) 
Floats like a dead drownd body, on the dream 
Of vulgar humour, mixt with common ft dregs? 

1 fuffer for their guilt now, and my foule 
(Like one that lookes on ill-affe&cd eyes) 
Is hurt with mere intention on their follies. 1 

Why will I view them then ? my lenfc might a s k me : 

Or is'ta raritic, Or (bme new objeft,- 

That ftraines my ftri& obfervance to this point ? 

O would it were, therein I could afford 

My fpirit fhould draw a little neerc to theirs, 

To gaze on novelties; fo vice were one. 

Tur, Hie' is ftalc, ranke, foule, and were it not 

That thofc (that woo her) greet her with lo'ckt eyes, 

(In fpight of all the impoftures, paintings, drugs, 

Which her bawd cuftomc dawbes her cheeks withall ) 

Shce would betray her loath'd and leprous face, 

And fright th'enamor'd dotards from themielves : 

But fiith is the perverfencflc of our nature, 

That it wee once but fancy levity, 

(How antick and ridiculous fo ere 

It fute with us) yet will our muffled thought 


— MV% WM i uuuiicK cricKSWicr 

that luft, that plcafure, that fecunt)', 

Q_ 2 




- rr7T~^rrT^ik-boord cafe, 

lS if WC c pr.iaud in a pai j motioD . 

And no one faw the mo on, bu^ ^ ^ . 
Well, check thy paffiOT, ^ fi &c and d . 
"While foolcs arc pitticd, tney r^_ 


Adl i r. Scene u 

Cupi d, Mer cury. 

Hv this was moft unexpe ctedly followed (my divine delicate 
Mercury) by the beard of Jove, thou arc a precious c% 
t Me R . N ay, Cup i d , leave to fpeak improperly, fince m 
jre rum'd cracks, let's ftudie to be like cracks; praaife their langi^ 
Z behaviours,andnotvvith a dead imitation: aft freely , carelefTelv, a^ 
c mri&£ f our vetoes rannc with quick-filvcr,and not utter a M 
KaS come forth ftceptin the very brine of concept , and fpar- 

^to^fSt every ones happinefle (Hermes) though you can 
nrefume upon the eafineflfc, and dcxtcritie ofyour wit you rtUl give n* 
leave to be a little jealous of mine : and not defperately to hazard it after 

^^^^7,™^', Cupid, I think wee muft have you faood-wi* 
againc, for you arc grownc too provident, fince your eyes were at libera* 
Cup. Notfo (Mercury) lam ftill blind Cupid to thee. 
Mer. And what to the lady Nymph you fervc? 
Cup. Troth, page,boy,andfirrah : tbefearcall my titles 
Mer. Then thou haft not altered thy name, with thy dif guile ? 
Cup. O, no, that had bcene fupercrogation- you (hall never beat 
your courticrcall but by one ofthe fe three. 
Mer. Faith, then both our fortunes arc the fame. 
Cup. Why ? what parcell of man haft thou lighted on for a matter? 
Mer. Such a one (as before I begin to decyphcr him) I dare nor «• 
firme to beany thing leffc than a courtier. So much hec is,during this o- 
pen time of Revels, and would be longer,but that his nicanes arc to lent 
himfhorcly after. His name is Hedon , a gallant wholy confcerated w 
his pleafures. 

Cup. Hedon? he ufc-s much to my ladies chamber, I think. 
Mer. How is fhee cal'd,and then I can (hew thee? 
Cup. Madame Philautia, 
Mer. OI,heaftec~ts her very particularly indeed. Thcfc are bis p' 
ccs. He doth (befides me) keep a barber, and a monkie : Hce has ana 
wrought waft-core to entertainc his vifitants in, with a cap altnoft fata l ' 
His curtaines,and bedding are thought to be his owne : his bathing*' 
is not fufpcOed. Hee loves to have a fcncer,a pedant, and a mu» c 
fecne in lus lodging amornings. 
Cup. And not a Poet? 

MER.Pienothimfelfeisa rimer, and that's a thought better tW D 
Poet. He is not lightly within to his mercer, no, though he comewW 
takes pfcyfick, which is commonly after.his play. Hcbcates.a tay!or v ' 
wclljbutaftocking-fcller admirably : and fo confidently" any ° na r 

Cynthia's ^ReveUs. 

owes mony to, that dares not refifthim. Hce never makes gcncrall .„- 
vitcmcntjbutagainft the publifhing of a new fute, marry then you (hall 
have morcdrawne to his lodging, than come to the lanching of fomc three 
(hips; cfpccially if he be furnifh'dwith fupplies for thcretyring of his old 
ward-robe frompawne : if not, he do's hire a ftock of apparell, and fomc 
fortie,or fifrie pound in gold, for that fore-noon to Chew. He's thought 
a very ncceuary perfume for the pre fence, and for that onclycaufc wel- 
come thither : fixmillancrs (hops afford you not the like lent. He courts 
ladyes with how many great horfche hath rid that morning, or how oft 
lie hath done the whole,or rhc lulfc pommado in a {even-night before: and 
fomcrimc ventersfo farre upon the vertue of his pommder, that hee dares 
tell 'hem, how many fhirtshehas f.vcat at tennis thu. weeke, but wifely 
conccalcs fo many dozen of bals hec is onthefcorc. Here hce comes- 
that is all this. 


i r. 




Hedon, Mercury, Anaides, 

Gel a i a, Cupid. 

Mer. Sir. 

Hed. Are any ofthe ladyes in the prefence ? 

Mer. None yet, fir. 

Hed. Give meefome gold, more. ■ 

Ana. Is that thy boy, Hedon? 

Hed. I,whatthink'ftthouofhim? 

Ana. l'ld geldhim • I warrant he has the Philofophers itone.' 

Hed. Well faid, my good melancholy devill : Sirrah, I have devis'd 
one or two ofthe prettieftoathes (this, morning in my bed) as ever thou 
heard'ft, to protcft wirhall in the prefencc* 

Ana. Pr'y thee, let's hcare 'hem. 

Hed. Soft, thou'lt ufe'hcm afore mcc. 

Ana. No (dam' me then) I have more oathes than I know how to ut- 
ter, bythisayrc. 

' Hed. Faith, one is, ft the tip of your eare t fweet lady. Is't not prct- 
tic, and gentile ? 

Ana. Yes, for the perfon 'tis applyed to, a lady. It fhould bee 
light, and— — 

Hed. Nay, the other isbetter, exceeds it much : the invention is far- 

dcr fettoo. By the white valley that lies between the Alpine hits' of sour bo- 

tome T „y„f,ff . /#, . k . J 


fome, I proteft 


O i 

Ana. Well, you rravcl'd forthat, Hedon. 
Mer. I, in a map, where his eyes were but blind guides to fais under 
nanding, it fecmes. 

Hed. And then I haveafalutation will nick all, by this caper : hay •' 
Ana. How is that ? 

Hed. You know I call madame Philautia, my Honour-, and (hec 
cals me ljer Ambition. Now, (when I nicer her in the prefenceanon) I will 
Q u m r,r° hcrj and ^> Cwm "™our, f have hitherto contented my fenfe with 
'be UUtes tfyour hand, but now I wiUtaflc therofes ofyour //>; and (withal!) 

Q_ 3 kific 


& %g*0£ 

nnnr but "blufliing anfwer, nay,noipy uarem 

fcifle her: to which <« «nno lmn9l hem ambitious of Honour^ M; 


W.\ViVtnotbcgood?h -ha? 

Ana. O, afore Y^. ^.^11 bee excellent, and a very politick* 
Hed. By heaven, ItninK 

chivement of a kifle. one f or MoRiA,ofa fudden too, if i ttakc 

An a. 1 have ^thougn ^ Invention ? 

* ^ will come to her, (and dice alwayes wares a rnuff C) if 
' ^W) andl will tell her, Madame, your nbole felfe cam 
F U t bCC r^vtt-fonour hands have wit enough to keep tbemfehes na r m , 
^^K^tefowlovE)^©!^!!^^ thy page takes it to*, 
JJS^ffiaLtU rafcall,Icould eat watcr-grucllwithth* 

Cynthia's l^evells. 



A forth (hall fay tW «* »-*• btrjr^. And a fifth Ml conclude. 
Then doe I prophecie pride mil have afaU,and bee fraUgruettber. 
Ana. lie be your prophet. By gods fo, it will be moft cxquifitc jtto 

art a fine inventious rogue, firrah. _ 

Hed. Nay, an I have fwj?« for rings too, and riddles that tbey 

drcame not of. 
Ana. Tut, they'll doe that, when they come to deep on hem, time c- 

nough : but were thy devices never in the prefence yet, Hedon ? 

Hed. 0,no, Idifdainc that. 

Ana. 'Twercgoodwe went afore then, and brought them acquaint 

with the roome where they fhall a&,left the ftraugenefsofit put themoui 

of countenance, when they fhould come forth. 

Cui>. Is that a courtier too ? . 

Mer. Troth no -he has two effentiall parts of the courtier, pride, aw 

ignorance • marry, the reft come fomewhat after the ordinary gallant, Tk 

impudence itfclfe, An aides; one that fpeaks all that comes in his ch«ty 

and will blufh no more than a fackbur. Hce lightly occupies the je* 

fters roome at the table, and keeps Laughter, GELAiA(a\vcnch inp3S fl 

attire) following him in place of a fquire,whome he now and then 

with fomc ftrangc ridiculous ftuffe, utter'd (as his land came to himjj 

chance. He will cenfurc or difcourfc of any thing, but as abfurdly as W 

would wi(h. His fafhion is not to take knowledge of him that is bentfj 

him in clothes. Hee never drinkes below the fair. Hee do's naturally & 

mirchiswir, that weares gold-lace, or tilTue. Stabs any man that fpC'»' 

more contemptibly of the fcholcr than he. He is a great proficient id* 

the llhberall feiences, as cheating, drinking, fwaggcring, whoring? 2 • 

fuch like : never kneels but to pledge healths,nor prays but for a piR 

puUdmg-tabacco. He willblafphemc inliis (birr. The oaths whic^ 

'omitsatonc fupper, would maintaine a towncofgarifon in goodi* 1 ' 

nng a twelve-month. One other genuine qualitic he has, which croiv* 

all thefc, and that is this: to a friend in want, he will not depart with the 
waightof a fodred groat, left the world might cenfurc him prodigall, or 
report him a gull : marry, to his Cockatrice, or Punquetto, halfc a dozen 
tarfita gowncs, or fattin kirtles, in a paire or two of moncths , why they 
are nothing. 
Cup. 1 commend him, be is one of my clients. 



H. Scene m. 


Amorphus, Asotus, Cos, Prosaites, 

Cupid, Mr rcur y. 

Omc, fir. You are now within in regard of the prefence and lee the 
privacic of this roome, how fwectly it offers it felfe to our retir'd in- 
tendments. Page, caft a vigilant, and enquiring eye about, that we be not 
rudely furpriz*d, by the approach of fome ruder ftranger. 

Cos. I warrant you,fir. Tie tell you when the wolfeenters,fear nothing 
Mer. O, what a maiTe of benefit fhall we polTclTc, in being the invisi- 
ble fpectarors of this ftrange (hew, now to be acted ? 

Am o. Plant your felfe there, fir : and obferve me. You (hall now, as 
well be the ocular, as rhe eare-witneffe, how clcerly I can rcfell that para- 
dox, or rather pfeudodox, of thofe, which hold the face to be the index of 
the mindjwhich (I afliire you) is not fo, in any politique creature : for in- 
ftance ; 1 will now give you the particular, and diftind face of every your 
moft noted /><*/'« of perfons, as your merchant, your fcholer, yourfoul- 
dier, your lawyer, courtier, &c. and each of thefc fo truly, as you would 
fwcare,but that your eye (hall fee the variation of the lineament, it were my 
- molt proper, and genuincafped. Firft, for your merchant, or citie-face, 'tis 
thus, a dull , plodding face, ftill looking in a direct line, forward : there is 
no great matter in this face. Then have you your ftudents, or academique 
face, which is here, an honeft, fimple, and methodicall face : but fomewhat 
more fpred than the former. The third is your foujdicrs face, a menacing 
and aftounding face, that lookes broad, andbigge: the grace of this face 
confifteth much in a beard. The anti-face to this, is your lawyers face, a con- 
tracted, fubtile, and intricate face, full of quirks, and turnings, a labyrinths 
an face, now angularly, now circularly, every way afpeded. Next is your 
ftatift's face, a ferious, folemne, and fupercilious face, foil of formall, and 
%ure gravity,chc eye (forthe moft part) deeply and artificially Oiadow'd: 
there is great judgement required in the making of this face. 1 But now, to 
come to your face of faces, or courtiers facc,'ris of three forts, according 
to our fubdivifion of a courtier, elementary, pra&ique," and theorique°. 
Yourcourricrthcorique, is he, that hath arriv'd to his farrheft, and doth 
now know the court, rather by fpeculation, than practice; and this is bis 
face; a faftidious and oblique face, that lookes, as it went with a vice, and 
werefcrew'd thus. Your courtier praftique, is he, that is yet inhisparh, 
ms courfc, lus way, and hath not toucht the p «/;t/7/o,or point of his hopes 5 
his face is here : a moft promifing, open, fmooth,and over-flowing free, 
tnat lecmes as it would runne,and powrc it felfe into you. Somewhat a nor- 
therly race. Your courtier elementary, is one but newly enter J, or as ic 
were in the alphabet, or ut-re-mi-fa-foi-la of courtfliip. Nore we/1 this face, 
tor it is this you muft practice. 




an ungrat t r u || 

Amo. ^ hciea(tcr ^7h?;airur'aofthis (inanyranke,orprofefli 0:i 
ftudy. For, let your foulcDcc. ofiniongocs Wlch thcf 

whatever) *c more genera^ / Th » rcforCj if thatcan be made cW 

and (fimply ) ""^"Egrte it is enough : But ( for the prefent ) yi 
curiouily,cxqmlitcI>, ri ow ^ ^ rf ^ clcmcntary courtier, a light, 

lW \ .OTIS face, now blueing ,now toil ing, which you «, 

? looke not pale, oDicrve mc, ici y^«» »~5 . 

Me R. O, for fomc excellent painter , to have tane the copic of all 

thefe faces ! 

AaO. PROSMTES. . . . . - . 

Amo He J premonimyouof that : In the courr,boy,1acquay,or firrak. 

Cos.' Mafcr,L-p«ff» 0^isPROSAlTES. au r M 

Aso. Sirrha prepare my cafting-bortle, I think I muftbe enforcdio 
purchafe me another Page,you fee how at hand Cos waits, here. 
Me r. So will hee too, in time. . 

Cup. What's hee, Mercury ? ]\ 

Mer. A notable fmclt. One,that hath newly cnterta in d the begger to 
follow him, but cannot getbim to wait neere enough. ' Tis As otus, the 
heireof Phil arc yrus; but firft I'lc give ye the others charaaer,which 
may make his the clecrcr. .He that is with him, is Am orI'Hus, a traveller, 
one fomade out of the mixture and fhreds of formes, that himfclfe is tru- 
lydeform'd. He walks moft commonly with a clove, or pick-tooth in his 
mouth, he is the very mint of complement, all his behaviours are printed, 
his face is another volume of effayes^ and his beard an Ariflarcbus. Hee 
fpeaks all creame, skim'd, and more affected than a dozen of wairing wo- 
men. He is h is owne promoter in everyplace. The wife of the Ordinary 
giveshimhisdiet^tomaintainbertablcindilcourfc, which (indeed) is* 
mtere tyranny over her other gucfts, forhewillufurpe all thetalkc: ten 
conftables are not fo tedious. He is no great fhifrcr, once a ycare his Jp' 
parell is rcadic to revolt. Hee doth ufe much to arbitrate quarrels, aw 
fightshimfelfe,exceeding\vcll(outata window.) Hee will lie cheaps 
than any begger, and lowder than moft clocks: for which hee is right pro- 
perly accommodated to the whetfohe, his Page. The other gallant UN 
tint, and doth moft of thefe trickes after h im 5 (wears to imitate bin] « fl 
every thing (to a haire) except a beard, which is not yet extant. Hee doj n 
leamc to make ftrange fauces, to czt anchovies y n,accaro»L bwoliJ*!r\ 
and ware becaufc he loves hem , fpeaks as he fpeaks, looks, vvalksf* 
fo in cloaths, and faftUon : is in all,asif hee were moulded of him. M*J 
(before they met) hee had other very prcttic fumciencics, which ft** 
tctames fome light iraprefTion of: as frequenting a dancing fchoble, * 
grievouny torturino; ftrangers, with inquirition after his grace in his g* 
"ard. Hebuyesafrcfhacquaintanccatanyrate. HiseycSandhisrayn** 

Cynthia's Jievells. 

confer much together as he goes in the ftrect. He treads nicely like the fel- 
low that walks upon ropes ; cfpccially the f\xk funduy of his lilkt-ftockin«»s: 
and when he is molt t eai,and new, you fhall ftrip him with commendat ions. 

Cup. Here comes another. 

Mer. I, but one of another ftrainc, Cupid : This fellow weighs 

Cup. His name, Hermes ? 

Mer. Critks. A creature of a moft perfect and divine temper. One, 
in whom the humours and elements are peaceably met, without emulati- 
on of precedencie : he is neither to phanraftikly melancholy, too flowly 
phlcgmatick, too lightly fanguine, or too ralhly cholerick, but in all, 
lb compos "d and order'J, as it is clcarc, Nature went about fome full work 
fhe did more than make a man, when the made him. His dilcourfe is like 
his behaviour, uncommon, but not unplcafing; hee is prodigall of ney- 
tber. He ftrives rather to be that which men call judicious, than to bee 
thought fo : and is fo truly learned , that he affects not to fhewir. He will 
think, and fpeak his thought, both freely : but as diftant from depraving 
another mans merit, as proclaiming his owne. For his valour, 'tis fuel? 
that he dares as lirtleto offer an injurie, as receive one. In fumme,hehath 
a moft ingenuous and fwect fpirir, a (harp and feafon'd wit,a ftraight judge- 
ment, and a ftrong mind. Fortune could never break him. normakchim 
lefle. He counts it his pleafurc, to defpifc plea fures,and is more delighted 
with good deeds, than goods. It is a competcncic to him that he can be 
vcrtuous. He doth neither cover, nor fcare; he hath too much rcafon to 

doc eythcr: and that commends all things to'him. 

Cup. Nor better than Mf.rcurie commends him. 
. Mer. O, Cupid, 'tis beyond my deitie to give him his due prayfes : I 
could leave my place in heaven, to live among mortalls 5 10 I were fure to 
be no other than he. 

Cup. 'Slight, I beleevc he is your minion, you feeme to be Co ravimt 
with him. 

Mer. He's one, I would not have a wry thought darted againft- 

Cup. No, bur a ftraight {haft In his bofome, Tie promife him, if I am 
Ci therea's fonnc. 
Mer. Shall we goc, Cupid ? 

Cup. Sray, and fee the ladies now: they'll come prefently. He help 
to paint them. 

Mer. What ! lay colour upon colour? that affords but an ill hUzon. 
Cup. Here comes mettall to help ir, the lady Argurion. 
Mir. Money, Money. 
Cup. 1 he fame. A Nymph of a moft wandring and giddy difj>o(ition, 


--— r 

Argn 'onfef- 

~— . K iv«vb as nice goes. 10 uay you man nave nc 

Ireth as the morning, and to morrow as melancholick as mid-nighr. Slice 

takes fpcciall pleafurc in a clofe obfeure lodging, and, for that caufc, vi'.irs 

\A!un° ° ffen ' wllcrc nicc has man y ** ccrct true-concealing favourites. 
When fhec comes abroad, flree's more loofe and fcatterfog tl an dufr^nd 
will hie from place to place, as fhec were rapt with a vvliiric wind, four 





affcfls nor, only falutes him, and 

— — i n- rvirr ) lice a»t^" 1IVI > v "v p , •> *«u *. 

gftudent ( for the mol t pare ; u b ht t0 takc any n0[[ 

? a PwMior a rW«M '> ^J %beJjt. She loves a /%«■ well, j 
. nojthou^hcbcfo^gj fcabowall . Shec can doc much in court 
a tojer infinitely : but your i wbatfocvcr9 no a ore but Hies open to h cr 
for the obtayning ot any i The worft in her j s vvant of keeping ft ate J 
h.r prefencc is above ^chaim : nfcriorandbafc0 ffi CC s,flic's foranycootfe 
and too much dclcc .^" B r UDOtl w as to be your procurer, or pandar. 

imploymcnr you will pi J mQtQ wor ke for you, another ci* 

Mer. Peace, Cupid, owe v 

ra&cror two. 

M 1 1. Scene i v. 


Mercurie, Cupid. 

S Ta ( 

ay fwect Philautia, l'Icbut ^change my fannc, and goe prefently. 
Mor. Now (in very good fenous) ladies, I will have th.sorder 
reverft, the prefencc muft be better maintay n d from you : a quarter paft 
eleven and nc re a Nymph in pnfpetovt ? be tow my hand , there mud be 
a rcfomVd difcipline. Is that your new ruffe, fweet lady-bird? By my 

truth, tis moft intricately rare. . 

Mer. Good Jove, what reverend gentlewoman m yecres might 

'cup. 'Tis, Madam Mori a, guardian of the Nymphs. One that is not 
now to be perfwaded of hcr wit , Hie will think her felfe wife againftall 
the judgements that come* A lady made all of voice, and aire, talks any 
thingof any thing. Shee is like one of your ignorant Poetajlers of the time, 
who when they have gotacquaintcd with a ftrange word, never pit till they 
have wroong it in, t lough it loofen the whole fabrick of their fenfe. 
Mer. That was pretty and fharply noted, Cupid. 
Cup. Shec will tell you, Philofopbiewls a fine reveller, when flw 
was yong, and a gallant,and that then (though flic fay it) (he was thougbt 
to be the Dame-DiDO,and Helen of the court: Asalfo,whatawcej 
doggc uSe had this time fourc y ceres, and how it was call'd Fortune aw 
that ( if the fates had not cut his thred ) he had beene a doggc to have gi- 
ven entcrtainement to any gallant in this kingdomc : and, unlclTc (hew 
whelpt it her felfe, (hce could not have lov'd a thing better i' this worM- 
Mer. O, I pr'y no more, I am full of her. .. 

Cup. Yes ( I muft needs tell you ) (hec corapofes a fack-poflet well; 
and would court a yong page fwectly, but that hcr breath is aga inft i t. 

Mer. How, her breath (or fomething more ftrong) prorcft mc fro 

her: th'other,th'other, Cupid. ^ ^ 

Cup. O, that's my lady and miftris, Madam Phuautia. She- 2 , 

mires not her felfe for any one particularity, but for all : fliec is b'Mf 

llicc knowes it : ftiee has a pretty light wit too , and (lice knowes it ; "*, 

can, and fhec knowes that too : play at (Little-cock , and that roo ; 

no quality fhee has, but (hec Hull rake a very particular knowlcJg c .°J 

an^moft lady-like commend it to you. You (hall have hcr at any w 

*2dc youthehiftory of her felfe, and very fubtilly runne Over anotli* j? 

Cynthia's "Key ells. 


dies fufficiencics,to come to her ownc. She has a good fuperficiall judge- 
ment in painting •, and would lecme to have fo in poetry. A moft corn* 
pleat lady in the opinion of fomc three,befide her-felfe. 

Pm. Faith, how lik'd ybumyquippc toHfiDON, about the garter ? 
was't not wittie? 

Mor. Exceeding wittie and integrate : you did Co aggravate the jeft 
withall. y 

Phi. And did I not dance movingly the laft night ? 

Mor. Movingly ? outofmcafurc (in troth) fwect Charge. 

Me r . A happic commendation, to dance out of mcafure. 

Mor. Save only you wanted the/Ww i' the turne : 6 ! when I was at 
fourtcene— - 

Phi. Nay, that's mine ownc from any Nymph in the court (lam lure 
on't) therefore you miftake me in that, Guardian ; both the [mm and the 
trip, arc properly mine, everybody willafKrmeit, that has any judgement 
in dancing : I alTu re you. 

Pha. Come r.ow,PHiLAiiTiA,I am for you, {hall we goe ? 

Phi. I,gobdpHANTAsTE:What! have you chang'd your head-tire ? 

Pha. Y'csfaith,th'otherwasfonecre the common: it had no extraor- 
dinary grace •, befidcs, I had worne italmoft a day,in good troth. 

Phi. Tie be fworne, this is moft excellent for the device, and rare. 'Tis 
after the Italian print, we look'd on t'other nighr. 

Pha. 'Tis fo: By this fan, I cannot abide any thing that favours the 
poore over-worne cur, that has any kindred with it j I muft have variety, I : 
this mixing in faftiionl hate itworfe, thantdbur'nc juniper in my cham- 
ber, I proteft. 

.Phi. And yet we cannot have a new peculiar cburt-tirc, but thefe re- 
tainers will have it ; thefe Suburbe-[unday -waiters • thefe courtiers for high 
dayes- I know not what I fhould call 'hem — ■ — — 

Pha. 0,1, they doc moft pitifully imicatc^Ut I have a tire acomming 
(yfaith) (hall 

Mor. In good ccrraine, Madam, it makes you looke nib ft heavenly; 
but (lay your hand on your heart) you never skin'd a new beaurie more 
profperoufly in your life, nor more rfietaphyfically : Iooke, good lady, 
fwect lady, lookc. 

Phi. 'Tis very eleerc, and wcll,'bclecve mc. But if you had fcene mine 
yefterday, when t'was young, you would have— —who's your Doctor, 
Ph a n t aste ? 

Pha. Nay, that's^ counfell, Philautia, ybu fhall pardon mec:yet 
( I'lc affure you ) hec's the moftdainric, fweer, abfolurc rare man of the 
whole colledge. O ! his very lookcs y his difcourfe, his behaviour, al! he 
do's is phyfick, I prorcft. 

Phi. For heavens fake, his name; good, dearePHANTAstE •— J 

Pha. No,no,no, no, no, no, (beleevc mcc ) not for a million of hea; 
vens : I will not make him cheap. Fie- 

9 UP ; Thcre is a Nymph too, of a moft curibus and elaborate ftraine, 
light, allmotion,an ubiquitary ,fhc iscvciy wllcft?,'pH ANT-Asf E 

Mer. Hcrvery name fpeaks her, Icd hcr pafle. Butarethcfc (Cupid) 
theftarsof Cynthia's court? doe thefe Nymphs attend upon Di \s'-\ > 

Cup. They areinhercourt (M E R cur I E)butnor.fvft.irre5, tlufc 


-Qnthias 'RpeUt 

l/"^"" y — — — — i 

-—r -£Z7rf Cynthia. The Nymphs that make L 

never comcmthcprciciKcoi p HRONESIS> THAUM A , an d 0cl] * 

oftha t ^^SjkLW' anl (like fo many meteors)^ 

ccntioiis time, a^«» 


Pkosaites, Gelaia, Cos, Mercury, Cup Id . 


r om follow me, my wagges,andfay as I fay. 
^ There's no riches but in ranges ■ hey day, hey day. 
rou that vrofep this Art, come away, come away 
Andhel ? etobeartapart. Hey day, hey day, &c 

Mer What ' tbofe that were our fellow Pages but now, fo foonepre. 
ferrd to be yeomen ofthcbottles? the myftery, the : myftery, good wags? 
Cup. Some dyet-drink, they have the guard of. 
Pro. No, fir, wee are going in qucft of a ftrangc fountaine, lately 

found out. 
Cup. By whom? 

Cos. My mafter,Qrrhc great difcoverer, AMorphus. 
Mer. Thou haft well intiricd him, C o.s, for hee will difcover ill 

hee knowes. ' "... 

Gel*. I , and a little more too, when the fpirit is upon him. 

Pro. 0,the" good travelling gentleman yonder has caus'dfuch adroi^fe 
i* the prefence, with reporting the wonders of this new water ; that alltbc 
hdics, and gallants, lie languifhing upon the rumes, like fo many pouodei 
cattle i' the midft of harvcft*,fighing one to another,and gafping,as if cacfc 
of thcmcxpe&cd a cock from the fountain, to be brought into his mouth*. 
and (without we retutne quickly) they are all ( as a youth would fay) do 
better than a few trowts cafta-morc, or a difhof eelcs in a fand-bagge. 

Mer. Well then, you were beft difpatch, and have a care of them 
Come Cupid, thou and Vie goc perufe this drie wonder. 

Cynthia's HeveUs. 

A& 1 1 1. Scene ?. 

Amorprus, Asotus. 

Ir, let not this discountenance, or dif-gallant you a whit .-yourf | 
not fink under the firft difafter. It is with your young gramw^f 
courtier, as with your ^p^-player,a thing ufuall to be daunted * 
the fir ft prefence,or enter-view: you faw, there was H e d o N,and Am aid fc 
(far gallants than your felfe) who were both out, toco* 
fort you. Itisno disgrace, no more, than for your advenrrous RcvclW 

SI ^" 2 ^^ 1 ^^ in W" pA or for fome fubtiU / 
■/«*,«> undcr-take the baftinado, that the ftatc might think «*Wg 


him, and refpett him as a man well beaten to the world. What ! bath your 
taylor provided the propcrtic (we fpake of) at your chamber, or no > 

Aso. I think hee has. 

Amo. Nay (I intrcatyou) be not fo flat, and melancholick. Erc& 
your mind : you (hall redecmethis with the courtfliip I will teach you a- 
gainft aftcr-noonc. W 7 herceate you today? 

Aso. Where you pleafc, fir, any where, I. 

Amo. Come, Ictus goe and tafte fome light dinner, a difh of flie'd 
caviare,oi fo, and after, you (hall pradife an hourc at your lodging fome 
few formes that I have recal'd. If you had but fo farre gathered your fpirits 
to you, as to have taken up arufh (when vou were out) and wa-Vd it thus 
or clens'd your teeth with it : or but turn'd afidc, and fain'd fome bufineflc' 
to whifper with your pagc,til you had recovered your felf,or but found fome 
flight ftam m your flocking, or any other pretty invention (fo it had been 
•Hidden, )you might haue come off with a moft cleere, and courtly grace 

Aso. A poyfonof all, I think I was forefpoke,I. 

Amo No, I rauft tell you, you are not audacious enough, you muft fre- 
quent Ordinaries, a month more, to initiate your felfe : In which time it 
will not be s imifle,if( m private) you keep good your acquaintance with 
Crites, or fome other,of his poore coarc ; vifite his lodging fecrctly, 
and often: become an carncft futcr to heare fome of his labours. 

Aso. O Jove ! fir, I could never get him toreadaline to nie 

Amo. You muft then wifely mix your felfe in ranke, with fuch as 
you know can ; and, as your eares doe meet with a new pbrafe , or an acute 
jeft, take it in: a quick nimble memory wifl.lift it away, and, at your 
next pubhque meale, it is your owne. ■ ■ y . 

Aso. But I fhall never utter it perfectly, fir. 

Amo. No nutter, let it come lame. In ordinary talke you mall plav 
it away, as you doc your light crownes at primero: It will pane • 

Aso. I fhall attempt, fir. * " . 

Amo. Doe. Itisyour fhiftingagc for wir, and I aiTurcyou, mtn muft 
bee prudent. After this, you may to court, and there fall in, feft 
with the waiting-woman, then with the lady. Put cafe they doe retainc 
you there, as a fit property, to hire coaches fome pairc of months, or 
io; or to read them afleep in afternoons upon fome pretty' pamphlet 
to breathe you \ why, it fhall in time imbolien you to foml Irther at! 

-H'Im'udcnt " "" """* y ° U "* y 6(hi0n y0Ur fdfc t0 ** careIdre > 

cJl*°: ?° W r if thcy W0Uld have mc t0 ™ kc vcrf « ? I heard Hcdon 
lpokc to for fome. 

*JaT' Why ' y^u m "ft proove the aptitude of your Genius* if you 
fhe fZ C ' y ° U f mU u harkenouc a *«^,and buy.< provided yon pay for 

a o c y s for ttW*1 Then you may fcc ' irc 'y caI1 Kp™ Si. 

to counr.1 ' 3 £ ? 1VC ° Ut ^ acc l uainta nee with all the beft writers, 
10 countenance mce the more. 

nevCTfS m, at K Cr fcCm ? 0t l ? kn0w ' heIT,lit is yo»rbcft. I . Be wifc,that you 
but if th? "J*""*™ 1011 the name of one, nor remember it mention'd • 
bevvecna r^ °? er r dr .?.y° u r in dirc ^rfe, make your light fad, make 
vourTlf, r a . dand afin«IiBg face, pirty fome, raiie at alfand commend 
youriute:ti S youronlyfafe,andunfufpeacdcourfl-. Come, you fhall 

R lookc 


< which wai 

Cr ittfajfdb 



Hedon, Anaides. 

, iU wis there ever fo profperous an invention thus unluckily pervcr. 
3 tc~d ' S SI by a whore-fon book-worme, a candlc-wafter ? 

Ana' NayJbc not impatient, Hedon. 
£ -cr w i would faiuc know his name. 

Ana. tian^ jHjWgg- & J * hi blanketted when thou wilt, nun. 
^HE°D h By^ fcj^^ Look, hcrehee com, 

**? ^dBfi^ ■» r y w candIe -^- 

Hed ' How confidently he went by us, and carclcfly! never movd! 
nor ftirr'd at any thing 1 did you obfene him? 

A n a . I , a pox on him, let him go, dormoufc : he is in a dream now. Hi 
has no other time to ileep, but thus, when he walks abroad,to take the aire. 

Hed. Gods precious, this affli&s me more than all the reft, that wee 
fliould fo particularly dirc£ our hate, and contempt againft him, and hec 
to carrie if thus without wound, or patfion ! 'tis infufferablr. 

Ana. 'Slid, ( my deare Envie ) if thou but faift the word now, I lc un* 

doe him eternally for thee. 

Hed. How, fweet Anaides? ■ 

Ana. Marryhalfeafcpreofusgcthimin(onenight)andmakeluni 

pawnchis.wkforafupper. 4 ' . 

Hed. .Aivay, thou haft fuch unfeafonablc jefts.By this heaven, I won- 
der at nothing more than our gentlemen-ufhers, that willfuffcra P* cK ?, 
Serge y or Perpetuatta. to come into the prefence : me thinks they fhoul' 
(out of their experience ) better diftinguifri the filkcn djTpofitionofcoijj' 
tiers, than to let fuch terrible courfe ragges mix with us , able to fret m 
fmooth or gentle focietic to the ttircecls with their rubbing devices . 

Ana. Unlcflc 'twere Lent, Ember wetfa. or Ealing dayes, vyhentft., 
place is rnoft penurioufty emptie of all other good outfides. Dam' nacc» 
I fhould adventure on his company once more, withont a futc of D u » 
to defend my wit ; he does nothing but flab, the Have : how mifchievou ) 
he crofs'd thy device of the propkefie there? And Moria, (hce coiw 
without her muffctoo, and there my invention was loft. 
Hed. Well, 1 am rcfolv'd what He doc. 

Asa. What, my good fpirituousfparkc? ^ 

Hed. Marry, fpeak all the venome I can of him ; and poyfon h»s R 
tation in every place , where 1 come. & . , 

- - — — ^^~ " ■ ^ i _ i — ii 

Cynthia's 'Resells. 


Ana. 'Fore god, rnoft courtly. 

Hed. And it I chance to be prefent where any queftion is made of 
Ills fufficiencies, or of any thing he hath done private, or publick,I'Ie 
cenfure it flightly, and ridiculourty.-— 


Ana. At any hand beware of that, fo thou maift draw thine owne 
judgement in fufpect. No; l'le inftrutt thee what thou fhalt doe, and by 
a (afer mcancs: Approve any thing thou hcarcft of his, to the rcceiv'd opi- 
nion of it-, but if it be extrabrdinaric, give it from him to fome other, 
whom thou more particularly affecTft. That's the way to plague him, and 
he fhall never come to defend himfelfc. 'Slud, Tie give out, all he does is 
dictated from other menpand f\ veare it too ( if thou'lt ha' me ) and that I 
know the time, and place where he ftblc it, though my foule be guiftie of 
ro fuch thing ; and that I think, out of my heart, he hates fuch barren 
fhifts : yet to doe thee a pleafurc, and'him a difgracc, Tie dam' my fclfc, 
or doc any thing. 

Hed. Gramerc ic,my devtt: we'le put it.ferioufly in praclice,y faith . 

Jfl in. Scene mi. 


p\ Oe , good detraction, doc , and I the 'while 
«*- / Shall fhake.tby fpight off with a carcleffc fmile. 
Poore pittious gallants ! What leanc idle heights 
Their thoughts iuggeft to flatter their ftarv'd hopes? 
As if 1 knew not how to.entcrraine 
Thefe ftraw-deviccs : but, of force, muft yecld 
To the wedke ftrokc of their. calumnious tongues, 
What fhould I care what every dor doth buzzc 
In credulous cares ? it is a crownc to me,' 
That the beft judgementsrean report me wrong'd; 
Them lyarsjand their (landers impudent. 
Perhaps (upon the, rumour of their fpeeches) 
Some grieved friend will whifper to m'e;.CRiTEs,- 
Men (peak ill of thee. So they be ill men, 
If they fpakc worfe, 'twere better 1 : for of fuch 
To be difpraisd, is the mod perfect praife. 
What can his cenfure hurt me, whom the world 
Hath cenfur'd vile before me? If good Chrestus, 
Euthus, or Phronimus, had fpoke the words, 
They could have movd me, and I fhould have call'd 
My thoughts, and actions, to a ftrict accompt 
Upon the hearing : But when 1 remember, 
Tis Hedon, and Anaides : alas, then, 
I think but what they are, and am not ftirr'd. 
The one, a light voluptuous reveller, 
Ihc other aftrangc arrogating puffc, 
Both impudent, and ignorant inough 5 
lhat talk (as they are wont) not as I merit: 
iraduce by cuftome, as rnoft dogges doe bark, 
Uoe nothing out of judgement, but difeafe, 

R 2 Speak c 




rTT^Ter could fpeake well. 

3S5te i«, becaufe they- neve ^^ ? 

,L\ *hold be »«S7; V ' V« ever toe 
What wife phyficiB , have famcafeas 

Mov'J with a ftantick nun ? 

That he ^^"jSewlbch as theft: 
Should a tight muide carnc 

An J 1 doe count > a moft «£ ^ 

That I can tta( "J* « c » furc tf^ p^ic*. 
Pluck from them »» * P inous drift9> 

Kn my Ta'tnee, howfoerclhey fane 
To me at other objefts : which if mjfsd 
IMf envie's like an arrow, tot np»gk. 
1 hat, in the fall , indangets their owne heads. 

Cynthia's Ifyvells. 




Aretb, Crites. 

Hat, C rites 1 where have you drawne forth the day? 
- You have not viGted your jealous friends ? 
Cri. Where I have feene ( moft honour'd Aritb,) 

The ftrangeft pageant, fcfhiond like a court, 

( At lea ft I drcanvc I faw it) fo diflusd, 

So painted, pyed, and full of rainbow ftraines, 

As never yet ( eyther by time, or place ) f 

Was made the food to my diftafted feme : 

Nor tan my vveake imperfeft memorie 

Now render halfe the formes unto my tongue, 

That were convolved within this thriftie roome. 

Here, ftalkes me by a proud and fpanglcd fir, 

That looks three hand-fulls higher than his fort-top; 

Savours himfelfe alone , is. only kind 

And loving to himfelfe : one that will fpeak 

More dark, and doubtfull than fix Oracles ; 

Salutes a friend , as if he had a ftitch, 

Is his owne Chronicle^ and fcarce can eat 

For regiftring himfelfe : is waited on 

By mimiques, jefters, pandars, parafites, 
And other fuch like prodigies of men. 
He paft, appeares fbme mincing marmofet 
Matte all of clothes, and face; his limbes fo fet 
As if they had iomc voluntaric aft 
Without mans motion, and inuft move juft fo 
In fpitc of their creation : one that weighes 
His breath between his teeth, and dares not finile 
"Beyond a point, for fcare t'unftarch his look • 
Hath travcll'd to make legs, and fecne the cringe 
U* teverall courts, and courtiers j knowes the tun. 
vi giving titles, and of taking wails ; - 


Hath read court-common-placcs ; made them his : 

Studied the Grammar of Itate, and all the rules 

Each formall ufher in that politick fchoole 

Can teach a man. A third comes giving nods 

To his repenting creditors, protefts 

To weeping Tutors, takes the comminggold 

Of infolcnr, and bafe ambition, 

That hourly rubs his dry and itchic palmes : 

Which grip't, like burning coales, he hurlcs away 

Into the laps of bawds, and buffons mouthes. 

With him there meets fomc fubtile Proteus, one 

Can change, and varie with all formes he fees ; 

Be any thing but honeft ; fcrves the time ; 

Hovers betwixt two rations, and explores 

The drifts of both; which (with crofle face) hebereas 

To the divided heads, and is received 

With mutuall grace of either: one that dares 

Doe deeds worthy the hurdle, or the wheele, 

To be thought fome body ; and is (in footh) 

Such as the Satyrijt points truly forth, 

That only to his crimes owes all his worthy 

Are. You tell us wonders, Crites. 

Cri. This is nothing. 
There ftands a Neophyte glazing of his face, 
Pruning his clothes, perfuming of liis haire } 
Againft his idoll enters; and repeates 
(Like an unperfect prologue, at third mufick) 
His part of fpceches,and confederate jcils, 
In paffion to himfelfe. Another fweares 
His Scene of courtfhip over ; bids, belcevc him,. 
Twenty times , ere they will ; anon, doth feeme 
As he would kifle away his hand in kindncfle 5 
Thenwalkes as melancholick, and ftands wreath' d, 
As hce were pinn'd up to the arras, thus. ' 
A third is moft in action, fwimmes, and ffiskes, 
•Plays with his miftris papps, falutes her pumps-. 
Adores net hems, her skirts, her knots, her curies. 
Will fpend his patrimonie for a garter, 
Or the lcaft feather in her bounteous fanne< 
A fourth, he only comes in for a mate : 
Divides the All with a dumb (hew, and exit. 
Then muft the ladiesiaugh, ftrait comes their Scent i 
Afixt times worfe confufion than the reft. 
Where you (hall heare one talkcof this mans eye* 
Another , of his lip;a third, his nofe; 
A fourth commend his leggc ; a fift his foot; 
A fixt his hand ; and every one a limme : 

|] ia « y0U Woulcl think tnc P oore diftortcd gallant 
Muft there expire. Then fall they in difcourfe 
Vt tires, and falTiions, how they muft take place, 

R 3 






, r^^^vhomTwhcn to fit downc, 

Wheie they may ^%™g&, lalurc, 

And with what grace to ric , ^^ ftu ff c , 

What curt fie ^. mu ;;^nft fenfe abhorre 
As would enforce the common 

Tb' At ****** workers ' ^ 

A* E ' P Tfniderf wW be foonc diflblv'd, 

And all tneir ^^ appeares> 

% ° Ir^n s g t relfe in her full light : 

^" X' oc In/and fpend your houres with us 

In contemplation of our goddeflc name. 

Think on fome facet, and choice invention, now, 

Worthy her fcrious, and illuftnous eyes, 

That from the merit of it wee may take 

Defird occafion to preferre your worth, 

And make your fcrvice knowne to Cynthia. 

It is the pride of Arete to grace 

Her ftudious lovers ; and (in fcorne or Time, 

Envie, and Ignorance) to lift their (late 

Above a vulgar height. True happinefie 

Confifts not in the mulditudc of friends, 

But in the worth, and choice. "Nor would I have 

Venue a popular regard purfue : • 

Let them be good that love me, though but few. 

Cm. I kiflc thy hands, divined Arete, 
And vow ray fclfc to thee, and Cynthia. 

J8 1 1 r. Scene v. 

Amo'rphus, Asot'us. 


A Little more forward : So, fir. Now goc in, dif-cloke your fclfc 
^*"and come forth. Taylor, beflow thy abfence upon us; and bei^ 
prodigall of this fecret, but to a dcarc cuftomer. 'Tis well enter <!,«• 
Stay, you come on too faft; your pafe is too impetuous. Imagine tm> 
to be the palac t of your pUafure, or place where your lady is pleas d to w 
fcenc. Firft, you prefent your felfe, thus : and fpying her, you 611°* 
and walke fome two turnes ; in which time, it is to bee fuppos'd,yo» 
paffion hath fufficiently whitcd your face: then (ftifiingafigh or W 
and clofing yout lip) with a trembling boldnefle, and bold terrour,^ 
advance youtfclfe forward. Prove thus much, I pray you. •, 

Aso. Yes, fir, (pray Jove I can light on it.) Here, Icon* Cl 
you fay, and prefent my felfe ? 

Amo. Good. 

Aso. And then I fpie her, and walk off? 
Amo. Very good. 

iW ^ 0VV 'M r ' 1 ftiflc> and a *™cc forward? 
n.Mo. Trcmblinp. 

b As* 

Cynthia's "jRevells. 

Aso. Yes, fir, trembling : I fhall doc it better when I come to a. 
And whit mull I fpeak now ? 

Amo. Marry, you (hall fay: Deare beautic, or, fwect honour (or by 
what other title you pleafe to remember her) mee thinks you arc me- 
lancholy. This is, if fhee bee alone now, and difcompanied. 

Aso. Well, fir, Tie enter againe; her title fhall be, My dcarc LlK*- 


Amo. Lindabrides? 

Aso. I, fir, the Emperour Aucandroes daughter, and the Prince 
Meridians filter (in the Knight of theSunne) fhee fhouldhavebecne 
m.irricd to him, but that the Princeffe Claridiana 

Amo. O, you betray your reading. 

Aso Nay, fir, I have read hiftorie, I am a little bumanitian. Inter- 
rupt me not, good fir. My dearc Lindabrides, My deare Linda- 
biudes, My deare Lindabrides, me thinks you are melancholy. 

Am o. I, and take her by the rofie-fingcr'd hand. 

Aso. Mult I fo?0, my dearc Lindabrides, mcc thinks you are 

Amo. Or thus, fir. All varictic of divine pleafurcs, choice fports, 
fwect mufick,rich fare, brave attire, foftbeds, and filken thoughts, at- 
tend this dearc beautic. 

Aso* Belceve mee j that's pretty. AH varietie of divine pleafurcs, 
choice fports, fwcet mufick, rich fare, brave attires, foft beds, and filken 
thoughts, attend this deare beautie. 

Amo . And then, oftring to kiflc her hand, if (bee fhall coyly fecoile, 
and figni fie your rcpulfe- you are to re-enforce your felfe, with, More 
than mod faire lady, let not the rigour of your juft difdaine thuscourfly 
cenfure of your fcrvants zeale : and, withall, protcfr. her, to be the only 
and abfolutc unparalcll'd creature you doe adore and admire, and reipccTr, 
and reverence, in this court, cornerof the world, or kingdome. 

Aso. This is hard, by my faith. Tie begin h all agen. 

Amo. Doe fo, and I will act it for your lady. 

As o . Will you vouchfafe, fir? All varietie of divine pleafures, choice 
fports, fwcet mufick , rich rare, brave attire, foft beds, and filken thoughts 
attend this deare beautie. 

Amo. So, fir, pray you away. 

Aso. More than mod faire lady, let not the rigour of your juft dif- 
daine, thus courfly cenfure of your fcrvants zeale, I protcft,you are the 
only, and abfolutc, una upa relied 

Amo. Unparalcll'd. 

Aso. Unparalcll'd creature, I doe adore, and admire, and refpecl, 
and reverence, in this court, corner of the world, or kingdome. 

Amo. This is, if fhee abide you. But now, put the cafe ihcfhouldbe 
pafjaat when you enter, as thus : you are to frame yout gate thercafrer, 
and call upon her, Lady, Nymph, Sweet refuge, Srarrcbf our courr. 
Then iffhee bc#«*/vto,hcre : you are to come on, and (laterally difpo- 
! ,n .S y°" r fclfi fweare, by her blufhing and well coloured cheek, the 
bright die ofher haire, her ivorie teeth (though they be ebonic) or fome 
luch white, and innocent oath, to induce you. If reeuarftanr, then main- 
tame your ftation, brisk, aid irpc, (hew the fupple motion of your pliant 


r» 7 



Ljntbias ^eveSs 

^M^^^^ l-d.whichcannotbuta^ 

proud humour exceedingly. performe all thefc things in ROod 

Aso. 1 conceive you, "r, b-w 

time, I doubt not, they doe I bdic ^ ufc f any of hefe ^ 

Ur out of your 0ivne invention; and prove, how you can hgj 

uo^aKlowit. Say,fay. 

l \ v« fir my deare Li , A , 

Aso. ^^u&ftthatLiNDABMDns too much. And (let „* 

AMO v'- vnnrfo courtly. Your petolhould provide youfomepu. 
«l^?£ToS?««k commoditie of /*/™ to coming 

cells ot * » , , , . • i. i .u n n;r»a 


morning, I gave him 

with ? yo^ would* b^exotickrapd ejquifite. 

Aso Yes, fir, hec was ac my lodging t other 

* Iwo* Double your benevolence, and give him the hofc too clothe 
vm his bodie, hec willhelpeto apparell your mind. But now, fee what 
your proper G:imus can pcrforme alone, without adjeclion of any o- 

ther Minerva. 

Aso. I comprehend you, fir. 

Amo. 1 doeftand you, fir : fall back to your firft place. Good, palling 
well: Very properly purfude. . 

Aso. Beautifull, ambiguous, and fufficient ladie, what! arc you 

all alone ? 

Amo . We would be, fir, if you would leave us. 

Aso. I am at your beauties appointment, bright angell ; but 

Amo. What but. 2 

Aso. No harme, more than moft faire feature. 

Amo. Tliat touch relilhed well. 

Aso. Bur, I proreft 

Amo. And why mould you protcft ? 

Aso. Forgood will (dearcefteem'd Madam) and I hope, your Udi- 
{Tup will fo conceive of it: 

And willy in time, returne from your difdaine. 
And rue th e fujj'rance of oitr friendly paine. 

Amo. O, that peece was excellent! if you could pick out more <" 
thefc PUj-fartieles,2.Rdi ( as occafion (hall falute you ) embroider, or &• 
mask your difcourfe with them , pcrfwade your foule, it would moft Jf 
dicioufiy commend you. Come, this was a well difchargd, and aufpw 
ous bout. Prove the fecond. 

Aso. Ladie, I cannot ruffle it in red and yellow. 

Amo. Why, if you can re veil it in white, fir/tisnafficicnt. . , 

Aso. Say you fo, fwect ladie? Lan, tedCy de 3 dart, dani^ 
7f» & c - No (m good kith) Madame, whofoever told your ladyfhip % 
abusd you ; but I would be glad to meet your ladimip in a meafurc. 

Amo . Mce, fir? belike you meafure mcc by your felfc, then ? 

Aso. Would I might, fa ire feature . 

Amo. And what were you the better, if you mmht ? 

Aso. The better it pleafc you to aske, faire ladil. „. ,, 

Amo. Why, this was raviming, and moft acutely continu'd. VWJ 
ipend not your humour too much, you have now competently cxetc«jj 

Cynthia's Tievells. 


your conceit: This (once or twice a day) will render you an accomplifht, 
elaborate, and well levelled gallant. Convey in yourcourting-ftock, wee 
will (in the heat of this) goe vifitthc Nymphs chamber. 

Act iv. Scene 7. 



Phantaste, Philautia, Argurion, 

Moria, Cupid. 


I Would this water would arive once, our travelling friend fo commen- 
ded to us. 
Arc. So would I, for hce has left all us in traveli with expecta- 
tion of ir. 

Pha. Pray Jove, I never rife from this couch, if ever I thirfted more 
for a rhing, in my whole time of being a courtier. 

Phi. Nor I , Tie be fworne : The very mention of it fets my lips in 
a worfe heat, than if heehad fprinklcd them with mercury. Reach inee the ' 

Cup. Here, Ladie. 

■ Mo it. They doe not peele, fwect CA«yg*, doe they ? 
Phi. Yes, a little, Guardian. 

Mo r . O , 'tis an eminent good figne. Ever when my lips doe Co, I am 
fure ro have fome delicious good drink, or other approaching. 

Arc Marry, and this may be good for us ladies: for (it fcemes)'tis 
far-fet by their ftay. 

Mor. My palate for yours (deare Honor) it (hall prove moft elegant, 
1 warrant you : O , I doe fancie this gearc that's longa comming, with an 
unmcafurable ftraine. 

Pha. Pray thee lit downe,PH i uuti a, that rebatu becomes thee 

Phi. Is t not queint ? 

Pha. Yes faith. Me thinks, thy fervant Hedon is nothing fo obfe- 
quious to thee, as hec was wont to bee : I know not how, hce's grownc 
out of his garbe a-late,hec's wrapt. 

Mor. In trucneffe, and fo mee thinks too j he's much converted. 

Phi. Tut, let him be what hee will, 'tis an animal I dreamenot of. 
This tire (me thinks) makes me looke very ingenioully, quick, andfpiri- 
ted,l (houldbefome L,AURA,or fome Delia, mee thinks. 

Mor. As 1 am wife (faire Honors) that title (hee gave him, to be her 
Am&itionJpoW'd him : Before, he was the moft propitious, and obfervanc 
young novice 

Pha. No, no,you are the whole heaven awry , Guardian: 'tis the fwag- 

genng coach-horfe Anaides, drawes with him there, has beenc the di- 

Phi. For Cupids fake, fpeak no more of him; would I might nc- 

X \\ u t0 lo °k e ina mirror a g ain J 'f 1 refpect ere a marmafetof 'hem 
all, otherwife than I would a feather, or my fhittle-cock, to make fport 
with, now and then. 
Pha. Come, fitdowne; troth ('an you be good Beauties ) let's runne 






l^^^-^ them? Ifi ** 

traveller, AMOnrHU?. ■ . lfl[ rwer ; <Btnimpetter i'thebjM 
Ph.. O, ficon &;"*•*£* andfpeakstothetuneof aeowrre, " 

die, that comes ever i . mcM in a featurC) fvvcct Setuties. 
MoR> V£ 5 ?Sa think fo, at thefe yearcs. 


r llfirrv C fa ire charge) An aides. 
vu, K ' Anmdes! youtalk'tofatune Phi lauti a, there's one fpeaks 
in ^cy: like the opening of fomc Jufticesgate,or a poft-boyes horn^ 
Is if hisvoyce fear dan ancft for fome ill words it fhould give, and w «e 

loth to come forth. . ffl r 

Phi. I, and he has a very imperfect face. 
Pha. Like a fea-mqnftcr , that were to ravifti Andromeda^ 

th pH°i!" His hand's too great too, by at Jeaft a fltawcs breadth. , 

Pha. Nay, he has a worfc fault than that, too. 

Pha. That were a fault in a ladie, rather than him: No, they fay, bee 
puts orTthe calves of his legs, with his (lockings every night. . 

Phi. Out upon him : turne to another o f the pidures, for loves lake. 
What fayes Argurio n ? whom do's fhee commend, afore the reft ? , 

Cup. I hope, I have inftru&ed her futficiencly for an anfwer. 

Mor. Troth, I made the motion to her ladifhip for one to day,i 
the prefence, but it appear'd fhee was other-wayes furnifht before : Sbee 

would none. 
Pha. Who was that, Argurion ? 
Mor. Marry, the poore plain gentleman, i' the black, there. 
Pha. WhoiCRiTEs? 

Arg. I, I, he. A fellow, that no body fo much as Iook'tupon, or if 
garded, and fhee would have had me done him particular grace. 

Pha. That was a tree trick of your felfe , Moria , to perfwade M* 

g U r i o n, to arfc& the fcholcr . ■ 

Arg . Tut,but (he (hall be no chufer forme. In good faith, I likctbe 

citizens fon there, Asotus ; rae thinks, none of them all come ncerc bun- 

Pha. Not, H ed on? 
. Arg. Hedon? introthno.HEDON's a pretty flight courtier, and V 
weares his clothes well, and fomctimes in fafhion ; Marry, his face is J 
indifferent, and he has no fuch excellent body. No, mother is a rnoft <*j 
licate youth,a fwcet face, a ftraight body, a well proportion'd leggc & 
ioor, a white hand, a tender voyce. 

Phi. How now, Argurion ? i 

Pha. O, you (houldhavc let heralone,Oieewasbeftowinga cop» c °' 
him upon us. Such a nofe were enough to make rae love a man, no*; 
Phi . And then his feverall colours, hee weares . wherein beAo^ 
eth changeably, every day. 

Pha. O , but his fhorthaire, andhis narrow eyes ' 

Phi. Why,flicdotc$morepalpaWyuponhim,thanerehis&*2 dl 
upon tier* I , h* 

Cynthia's ^euells. 



Pha. Eclecvcmc, the young gentleman deferves ir. If fhc could dote 
more,' were not amiflc. He is an exceeding proper youth, and would have 
made a moft neat Barber-furgeon, if he had beene put to it in time. 

Phi. Say you Co ? me thinks, he lookes like a Taylor alreadie. 

Pha. 1 , that had fayed on one of his cuftomcrs futcs. His face is like 

a fcjuccz'd orange, or- ■ ■ ' ■ 

Arg. Well) ladies, jeft on : the beft of you both would be glad of 
fuch a fervant. 

Mor. I, I'lebc fwomc would they, though hebe a littc fhamc-fae'd. 

Pha. Shame-fac'd, Moria ! out upon him. Your fharncfae'd fcr- 
vanr is your only gull. 

M o r . Goe to, Beauties, make much of time, and place, and occafion, 
and oppormnitic,and favourites, and things that belong to'hcm,foEl'Ic 
enfure you, they will allrelinquifh; they cannot endure above another 
yeere j I know it out of future experience : and therefore take exhibition, 
and warning. I was once a reveller my felfe, and though I fpeak it (as mine 
ownc trumpet) I was theneftcemd— vu i - -. 

Ph i • The very march-bane of the court, I warrant you ? 

Pha. And all the gallants came about you like flyes, did they not ? 

Mor. Goe to, they did fomewhar, that's no matter now. 

Pha. Nay, good Moria, be not angry . Put cafe that ivc foure now 
had the grant from Juno, ro wifh our felves intawhat Jiappic cftate wee' 
could ? what would you wifh to be, Moria?. 

Mor. Who I ? Let me fee now. I would wifh to be a wife- woman, and 
know all the fecrcts of court, citie, and country; 1 yould know what were 
done behind the arras, what upon the (hires, what f the garden, what i' the 
Nymphs chamber,whatby bargc,andby what coach .1. would tell you which 
courricrvvcrc feabbed, and which nor j which fadicbad her ownc face to lie 
with her a-nights, and which nor 5 who put off their, teeth with rheir 
clothes in court, who their haire, who their complexion' and in which 
box they put ir. There fhould not zNympk, Or a widdow be got with child 
1 the verge, but I would gueffc (with in one or two, ) who was.the right fa- 
ther: and in what moneth it was gotten; withavhatwords-$ and which 
way. I would tell you, which madamc lov'd a Monfieur, which a Player, 
which a Page ; who flept with her husband, w.ho with her friend, who with 
her gentleman-iilTier, who with her horfe-keeper, who with her monkie, 
and who with all. Yes, and who jigg'd the cock too. i 

Pha. Fyc, you'ld t ell all, M o r 1 a . . If I fhpuld wi/h now, it fhould 
bee to have your tongue out. But what fayes Phi lauti a ? who would 
fhee bee? ' ' ' •.• > w?Jl 

Phi. Troth, the very fame I am. Only I; would wifh my. felfe a little 
more command, and foveraigntie; that all the court were fubjc&to rrryab- 
folutcbcck,andall things in ir depending on my Iooke - r as if there wfo're 
no other heaven, but in my fmile, nor other bell, but in" myfrowie ^ that I. 
might fend forany man I lift, and have his head cutoftV when I havedoiif 
with him ; or made an Eunuch, if he denyed me : and if I fiw a better face 
than mine ownc, I mi«ht have my Doctor to poyfonir. Wbarwouid you 


Pha. Faith, I cannot (reatjily)rell you what : But (rhee thinks ) I 
mould wifh my felfe all manner of creatures. Now, I would bee an Bm- 





T~1 cflc • then a great lady of ftate; then on c r 

«flc;andby aniby a^cn ^ woimn . tnenyoU r citizens w iff . 
lour mifalisny madams, «k fl thcn a dcy rfc ^je thcn a ^ » 
then a courfc country gen^, inej or thc queal of /*m w , ^ 

beards lafle 5 *«» an .^ v c iflitudes, and whirlc of pleafurcs, about, H 

thus 1 would pf^^heardeflc, I would be pip d and fung too . a$i 

.igaine. A* I «*« a " V* z ROO d houfe, and come up to tome, to fi, 
cSunt^ geDcJwomaD, kc b^ ^^ with a jea ] ous husband,^ 

motions ;Asaatt ' e f if(:r i es {hould be mypicafures) AsavvainV 

pur to my ^ ^ £ mY ladies delights to her > Asa mfceB™ madaj 
a. I would taite my wu » . . A<5 a ffrMt ua„ ve a u.j . 

tyhthias "Resells. 

b*vecou»«. y*"V" ' hinfi . And in all theIe lnapeSj ! would evert* 
fulfil haSo of all that fee me. Marry, I my felfe wouldaf. 
Sne or iH ffiffild not be heartily, but fo as I might fave ? wj _ u(jc , 

your felfe, lady. Sweet Phantaste, dearc Moru. moit^beluti 
Argurion »«inuii 

Ana. Farewell, Hedont. 

Hed. Anaides, flay, whither goc you? 

ANA.S'light, what fhould 1 doe here? an vou ensrofle'hem all for 
your ownc ulc, 'tis time for me to fceJce our. 

Hkd. I engrofle 'hem ? Away,mif c |,iefe, this is one of your extfW 

gantjeftsnow becaufclbceantofalurc'hcmbyrhcirnames . 

Ana. Faith, youmight have fpar'd us Madame PMi^.tKe G«r^ 
there, though you had more covecoufly ay m'd at thc reft 

or" vetous'r^ "/" ^ f! ™ ** ^ ^ y ° U » mccof a y rain - 

ANA. I fay you fo ? nay, then, have at 'hem: ladies, here's one hath 
diftinguim'd you by your names alreadie. It fhall only beeomc me to 
aske, howyoudoc? ' ' 



SSK&~n£ o77(ort-:T would fee how *»fe the. 
we 'of his objeft) could worke inward y alike, in a cholenck man, anda 
finguine.inamelancholick, anda phlegmatick ; in a fooM«U jrf 
rnaS ; in a clowne, and a courtier 8 in a valiant man, anda coward : and ho, 
he could vary outward, byletingthisgalland exprelTe himfelfe in M 
gaze; another with figbing,and rubbing his fingers ;> a third, with ofr 
ends, and pittifull verfes -, a fourth, with ftabbing himfelfe and drinkiN 
healths, or writing languifhing letters in his blood; alfiftb, in colourd 
ribbands, and good clothes ; with this lord to fmile , and that lord to 
court, and thct'otberlordtodotcandonc lord to hang himfelfe. m 
then, I to have a bookemade of all this, which I would call thc : doom 
of humours ,and every night read a little peccc, ere I flept, and lanp 
at it. Here comes Hedon. 

M 1 v. Scene 1 1. 

Hedon, Anaides, Mercury, Phantaste, Philautia, 

Moria, Argurion, Cupid. 

C Ave you, fwcetand cleare beauties :By the fpirit that moves fontf 
^you are all moft pleafingly beftow'd,ladics. Only I can take it for 05 
goodoro*/*, to find mine Honor fo dejected. 

Phi. You need not fcatc, fir, I did of purpofe humble my telle 
gainft your comming,to decline the pride of my Ambition. . 

Hed. Faire Honor, Ambition dares not ftoope; but if it bee f? 
fweet plcafure,! fhall lofe that title, I will (as 1 am Hedon) W 
my felfe to your bounties. ^ 

Phi. That were thc next way to diftitle my felfe of Honor. 0, •* 
rather bee (till Ambitious, I pray you. ^ 

Hed . 1 will be any thing that you pleafe, whilft it pleafeth yo u w ^ 

Ana. Lady ivtjdome, doe^ you interpret for thefe puppets ?i 

Mor. In truth and fa JncfTe (flWOyouarc in greaVorTence fortius- 

goc too : the gentleman (He undeMake with him) Ja man of fa re ^ I' 

and able to maintain a Iodic in her two carroches a day, befides Le S 

turne,and therefore there is more refpeft requirable, liowfoere you feemc* 

fav to nn vo, c ; ,u c r /,r ' ,ct m - c u difcourfe a fyliabie With *£ j S5 

ay to you, thefe ladies are not ot that clofe, an^l open behaviour, as In p. 

oc, both gentle and extraordinary. 

Me r. O, here comes the other pa ire. 

M I V. 


■ ■ 

I I 1 

Amo RPHus,AsbTus,HH do n, Anaides, Mer cu- 
rie, Cupid, M o ru s, Ph an taste, 
Philautia, Argurion, 

M o r 1 A. 


JHjt was your fathers Love, the .Vynpb Argurion. I would have 
fclfe to her affeftion, you were eternally en-gallanted. y 

faire eyes !" ^ ' * ? r " y !> ? &?:"?•* j*^ f »Wfome in het 

of M^ - A " j divi, f mixn ' re ' 3nJ incrcafe of braut 'c «> Hti« bright bevy 
hIdS^Y ^""'^'"^^'""P'^^'.^'^ourtefie 8 ' 

"tt KfeRSffiS^ ' &ratific you ' ^tt-J 

then" bimS!!' ^ ,yrctUm;t - ! Joevailcio both your thanks, amUilTe 

P u rS ■?' y ? u, ' s ' rtffg^ous, acute' and polite ladie, 

acut " ind nr?M I ? $ '""' hccJnc ' s a " to b'eqUalifie fcf! ingenious, 

■SfflSbfc ^ n<>t ° d,CrS f " P ° " i " Sr '"'" Ui ' " ' 



11™ Ycsbutyoumuftkno*," y, 

SS method. 4M0RPHUS : When till this water cor*, 

Pha. Sit downc, f*eet j 

love you ? that I will by fti, 


hand-kcrchcr. drweshis oaths out of his pocket. 
J£: £& C a ^ c T"w not fay for confer 

%\t' Do s yout^peak all this > 

IS Sk&l'-Ltv fon.rdthedayis) I do, 
unfdgn^VyTo. Wfelfe (slight 'tis deepet than 1 tooke ,t, pad be) 

you ^c.andl rcmembtance of me.vouchfaft to wearethis 

this diamond. 

g&^SSk forhi- W bat ? doth HH.MBS «fe. 

alteration, in all this? . ,, nn L nffi 

Mer. Yes, thou haft ftrookc Argurion inaraouid on Aso™, 

mcc thinks. , . , . j;r m ,;r- 

Cup. Alas, no ; lam no- body, I: I can doe nothing m this dirgmie. 

Mer. But thou haft not wounded any of the reft, Cupid ? 

Cup. Not yet : it is cnoughthat 1 have begun fo P^P^t, uood 

Arc. Nay, thefe arc nothing to the gems I will hourelybcitow" , 
thee : be but faithfull, and k ind to me, and I will lade thee with my ricu* 
bounties : behold, here my bracelets, from mine armes. 

Aso. Not fo, good lady, By this diamond. . 

Arc • Take hem, wcare 'hem : my jewels, chaine ot pcarle, pm" 

all I have. 

Aso. Nay then, by this pearle,you make mcc a wanton. , 

' Cup. Shall not me anfwer for this, to maintaine him thus in IW^J« 

Mer. 0,no, there is a way to weane him from this, the gentlcn 
bee Tcclaim'd. t , 

Cui>- T.ifvnnHaA tUi* orrrJnnrrtfViiconnir^ll rnufs'. I tnlUK' 

Cup. I, if you had the ayringof his apparcll, coufs, 
Aso. Loving ? 'twere piety 1 fhould bee living clfc, b 

mi n- c. — /* « «. r« '.. x. t n„... x kt * 

clcevc xnc 


aso. Loving ? twcrepitty lihould Dee living cue, ucltc <; aVC «<ft 
you, fir. Save you facet lady. Save you, Mounficur An aides. b * 
dearc Madame. 
An a . Do ft thou know him that faluted thec, n ? .^J, 

Hed. "No,fomc idle Fuxcoso,that hath got above the cup- 
fince ycftcrday; *„*, 

lyntbtds Hcvells. 

Ana. 'Slud, I never faw him till this morning, and he faluri . ic as fa- 
miliarly, as if wc had knowne together, fincc the deluge, or the firft vecre 
ofTVty-a&ion. ; 

Amo. A mo ft right-handed, and aufpicious encounter. Con/Ine your 
fclfc to your fortunes. ' 

Phi . For fports fake, let's have fomc riddles, or propofes ; Bough. 
Pha. No faith, your prophecies are beft, the pother arc fble. 
Phi. Prophecies ? we cannot all fie in at them ; \v e fhall rriikca confufi- 
on. No ; whatcal d you that wee had in the fore-noon ? 
Pha. Sut>fla/ttives,znd Adjeilives. Is'tnot Hedon < 
Phi. I, that, who begins? 
Pha. 1 have thought ; fpeak your Adjectives, {its. 
Phi. But doe nor you changc,thcn. 
Pha. Not I. Who fay es? 
Mor. Odoriferous. 
Phi. Popular. 
Arg. Humble. 
Ana. White-livcr'd. 
Hed. Barbarous. 
Amo. Pyhaooricall. 
Hed. Yours, Signior. 
Aso. What mull: I doe, fir ? 

Amo. Cive forth your Adj'eRhe, with the reft ; as. pro fperous, good 
faire, fweer,well' ; ,-■ .■ 

Hed. Any thing, that hath not bcenefpoken. 
Aso. Yes, fir : wcll-fpokcn, tliall bee mine. 

Pha. What? ha' you all done? 
All. I. 

Pha. Then the Sub[Untive is, Breeches. Why odoriferous Breeches, 

Guardian £ 


m Mor. Odoriferous, becaufc odoriferous; that which cOntcincs mo ft va- 
riety of fayour,and fmcll, wc fay, is moft odoriferous:now,Breeches,I pre- 
fumc,are incident to that variety, andthcrefore odoriferous Breeches. 
Pha. Wcll,wemuft take it howfocver, who's next ?Philautia? ' 
Phi. Popular. 

' PhL Why popular Breeches ?. 
PHi.Marry,thatis when they are not content to be generally noted 

!nh? U f r> UtW r Fe fic t f ? rthonCornm onftages 3 andbrokersfealls,tothe 
puolick view o f the world. 

Pha. Good. Why humble Breeches, Argurion 3 
Vm" Hu . ml ? Ic > bcca ufcthey ufe ro be fare upon jbefides, if youtyc 
hem not up, their properric is to falldovrne about vour hcclcs 

Mer. She lusworrx the Breeches, it fecmes, which have done to. 

i ha. But vvhy white-livcr'd ?. 

cJ£? : Why ? arCn ° r tbc ' irl i nin gsu-hite?bcfide S when they come in 

beld"oleTvhS;;\ n d ; viI1 *°*" up 3ny Ihing ' auy thcy nor propcrly 

wit' ?'I!: S>VVC T luft Rot c,cn y ir ' Andwhybarkuous, H dox ? 
cU'i !° US ' - Caufc commonly, w hen you b:v/c wporf your bree- 
ches fumcicntly, you g lV e then, to your Barber. 

S 2 A ,:o. 

I 05 


Xm- fflS^^ajJ^^^i BrC eches ? 

Pha. 1> Amoki;h^. WBT g a con ceitof that fortune, I am bold 
AMo.O,moft kindly ouu, 

to hug my brain lor. AmoK phus? . 

AM o oTl'm S?3* *> '* 10 fit > f ° P r ° per> f ° haPP1C 

V nu' m^^f^^bcfya^Gi^ meyourearcs.Br ec . 
Amo I "^^^ c ^ 

Mor. Excellent! bclec\e me. 

Aso. Notfo, ladies, neither. 

Hfd But why Breeches, now ? . 

Pha. Breeches, ^beare-richesj when t gallant beares all hisnchcs 

in his breeches: 

Amo . Moft fortunately etjmologtz d • • 

Pha. Nay, we have another fport afore this, of ^l&«fc<foif, and, rii 

didit.&c. . . 

Phi. I,goodPHANTAsTEjet'sbavcthat:Dilhibutcthc/'/<«J. . 

Pha. Why, 1 imagine, >4 tW»,g <toe s Hedon thinks, /-m drrf/fj 
MoRiA,w/ffc nbat it was done h AnaiDes,vJw<? rt ira* Awj ArgurION, 
when it tm done; Amorphus, ^ »^r caufeitwas done; you Phi "u- 
tia, what followed upon the doing of it • and this gentleman, tvbomuldmt 
done it better. What? is't concciv'd about ? 

All. Yes, yes. ; 

Ph a . Then fpeak you, fir. who would have done it better i 

Aso. How .' do's it begin at me ? 

Pha. Yes, fir : This play is cali'd the Crd, it goes backward. 
, Aso* May I not name my felfc ? 

Pha. If you pleafe, fir, and dare abide the venture of it. 

As o . Then, I would have done it bettor, what ever it is. , 

Pha. No doubt on't, fir: a good confidence. wb*t followed up* w 
Philautia ? 

Phi . A few heat drops, and a months mirth » 

Pha. For nbatcdufe, Amorphus ? 

Amo. For the delight of ladies. 

Pha. ^*,Argurion? 

Arc. Laft progrefle. 

Pha. "W,Anaides? 

Ana. Why,inapaircofpain'd flops. 
Pha. wy« jMowA? * 


Pha. w^Hedon? 
Wed. A traveller. 

W^SS^*^ rfw ""> A n oration was made. Reheat » 

Cynthia s c Reyells. 

H e d. By a traveller. 

Mor. With a glyftcr. 

Ana . In a pairc of pain'd flops. 

Arc. Laft progrcuc. 

Amo. For the delight of Ladies. 

Phi. A few heat drops, and a months mirth followed. 

Ph a . And, this filcnc gentleman would have done it better. 

Aso. This was not fo good, now. 

Phi. In good faitb,thefeunhappie Pja C s would bee whinr, for aiv- 
mgthus. J 

Mor. Bcfhrciv my hand, and my heart, elfe. 

Amo. I doe wonder at their protraction! 

Ana. Pray Venus, my whore have not difcovcr'd her felfc to the raf- 
cally boyes, and that bcthccaufc of their ftay. 

Aso. I muftfutcmy fclfe with another Page : this idle Prosaites 
will never be brought to wait well. 

Mor. Sir, I have a kinfman I could willingly wifli to your fcrvice if 
you would dcignc to accept of him. ' 

Aso. And I rtiali bee glad ( moft fweet ladic) to embrace him • 
where is nee ? 

Mor. I can fetch him, fir, but I would be loth to nuke you turne a- 
way your other Page. 

Aso. You fliall not, moft futficient ladic, I will keepe both • pray 
you let's goe fee him. - l 

Arc. Whither goes my love? 

Aso . l'Jc retiirnc prefently, I goe but to fee a Page, with this ladie. 

An a. As fare as Fare, 'tis (b ; ftiee has opened all : A pox ofall Cock- 
Struts. Dam me, if fhee have play'd loofe with me, Tie cut her throat, 
wirhin a haires breadth, fo it may be heal'd againe. 

Mer. What, is he jealous of his Hermaphrodite* 

Cup. O, I , this will be excellent fport. 



Phi. Phantaste ! Argurion ! what? you are fuddenly (truck 
oe thinks ! for loves fake let's have fome mufick, till they come. Ambil 
r«», reach the Lyra, I pray you. 

Hed. Any thing to which my Honour fhall dircdt mee. 

Phi. Come, Amorphus, cheare up Phantaste. 

Am o . It (hall be my pride, faire lady, to attemptall that is in my power. 
But here is an inftrument that (alone) is able to infufe foule into the 
mof melanchohck, and dull difpos'd creature upon earth. O 1 let me kiflc 
«iy taire knees. Beauteous earcs attend ir. 

Hed. Will you have the kiflc, Hocouri 

Ph r . I pood Ambition . 


r\ That joy fo foone fhould vafo I 
w y or fa fweet a blijje 

as a kijf e> 

Might not for ever hft I 
St f^red, fomehi^fo foft Jo delicious, 
The dene that lyes on rofes 

S 3 ' When 






rU i m bt dte kt l Stn * 

Were I 

a ,hi*diwti and the note to it, upon afcifle that my /^ 
HED. ! OTadc , , Y ou ir, fir ? 
nor gave me ; J^JJJ in acncrall,l like it well : but in particular,^ 
. AM ° . JSmde me moft, but it vvas fomewhat too long. I a „ 
long die-nor f d <: imc nature , but much before it, arid not fotoi^ 
KPffirfSS own* I think i have both the notc,and ditty \ 

bout rtiee. . * ' 

H.^d. Prav You* lir,icc .J- . r . . f 

A*io. Yes, there is the note ; and all the parts, if I raif-think not. I 
will read the ditty to your beauties here, but firft I am to make you rami- 
liar with the occafion, wh fch prefebts it felfe thus. Upon a time goimto 
take my leave of the Emperour,and kiflc his great hands - there being 
then prefent, the kings of France, and <4f«g», the dukes of fern * 

badfevcrally feafted mc ; befides, infinite more of inferiour petfons,as 

Counts and others: it was my chance (the Emperour detain'd by fomc ex- 

orbirant affaire) to wait him the fift partof an boure, or much neereit- In 

which time (re tyring my felfe into a bay-window ) the beauteous lady 

Annabell, ncece to the Emprcffe, and fitter to the King olAm^ 

who having never before eyed mec, (but only heard the common report 

of my vcrtue, learning, andtravaile) fell into that cxtreamityofpata/or 

my love, that fhec there immediately fwouned : phyficians were fent for, 

(he had to her chamber, fo to her bed- where (languifhingfomc fcivdayes) 

after many times calling upon me, with my name in her Ups, fhe expird. 

As that (I muftmourningly fay) is the onely fault of my fortune, that, as 

it hath ever beenc my hap to be fued to, by all ladies, and beauties, what 

1 have come:, fo,l never yet fojourncl,or retted in that place, or part oftl* 

worldjwhcrc fomc high-borne admirable fair feature dyed not for my love 

Mf.r. 0,thefweet power of travaile! are you guilty of this, Cupid? 

Cup. No, Mercury, and that his page (Cos) knowes, if hee ivck 

hcrepreCent to bee fvvorne . : t J ' J 

Phi. But, how doth this draw on the ditty, fir 

Mi-: k . O, (he is too quick with h im ; he hath r. Wfc m „y»» , - 

Amo. Marry,fome houre before (lice departed, (lice bequeath* J r° nl( ; 
this*/©i*j whichgoldenlegacie,th.c Emperour himfelfc tookc care tofcf 1 
after me, in fix coaches, covcr'd all with black vcllvtt attended by t' ie 
ftate of his Empire 5 all which he freely prcfentcd me with, and 1 recipe 
ally (outoftheiamebountie) gave to the lords that brought it : only «J 
ferving the gift of the deceased lady, upon which I compos d this oit& 
let ltto mymoftaffcftcdinftnimpnr. rl„» T.hts v 


not devis'd that ycr. 


^edinftruracnr,the Lyra, 


ffottmorethfinmof ( nee t o/ IJlr 

f'ito my more fmet love. ° 

Cynthia's 'Re'pells. 


queft it. 


Suffer mec to ftore with kijj'es 
This emptic lodging , that now mijj'es 
The pure rojie band y that ware thee, 
whiter than the kid, that bare thee. 
Thou art [oft but that fofter ; 
Cupid's felfe hath kift it offer $ 
Than e're he did his mothers doves, 
Suppojing her the ghteen of loves, 
That was thy rnijlrejje } 
Befl of glove's. 

Blafphcmic, blafphcmic, Cupid. 

I, l'lc revenge it time enough; Hermes. 

Gobd Amorphus, let's hearc ' it fung. 

I care not to admit that, llnce it pkafethPniLAUTLA to rc- 


Here, fir. " 

Nay, play it, I pray you, you doc well, you doe well 
like you it, fir ? 

Hed. V.ciy well in troth. 
• Amo. But very well? O, you arc zmeerc mammothrept in judgement, 
then. Why, doe you notdbferve how excellently the ditty is affected in 
every place ? that I doe not marrie a word of fhorr quantitie to a loner 
note ? nor an afcending fyllable to a difcendingtonc'? Befides, upon the 
word (befl) there, you lee how I doc enter with an odde minnum,ind 
drive it through the briefe, which no intelligent Mufician (I know) but 
will aftirme to be very rare , extraordinary, and plcamitr. 

Me r. And yet not fit to lament thc^dcarh of a lady, for all this. 

Gup. Tut,heerebe they will fwallowany thing. 

Pha. Ptiyyou,letmchavcacoppy-ofit, Amorphus. 
• Phi. And mec too, in troth, I like fc exceedingly/ 

Amo. I have denied it to princes, neyertheleffe to you (rhe true fe- 
male twinncs of perfection) I am wonnc,' to depart withall. 

Hed. 1 hope, I fhall have my Honors copp'y. 

Pha. Y ou are Ambitious in that, H e d o n . 

Amo. Howhow,Anaides ! what is it hath conjur'd up this diftem- 
peraturc in the circle of your face ? 

Ana. Why, what have you to doe ? A pox upo your filthy travai- 
ling face, hold your tongue. . 
Hed. Nay, do'ft heare, mifchiefel 
Ana. Away, muskc-ca't.. , . 

A mo. I fay to thee, thou art rude, debauch't, impudent, courfe, im- 
po]illir,afrapIcr, andbafe. 

LilUfsb ^r C A rC , 0f ^ &the,?J u ' haC a llran -- e akcra "on has halfe a yccrcs 
punting of Ordinaries wrought in this fellow! that came wirharf^- 

nolv 5u*2 •? w C buC the orherda y' and :l P»re of pennyleire hofe,and 

with l? yOU S h d n p . e ^ ci11 on y° ur chinne 5 I will garter my hofe 
with your guts, and that (hall be all. G 

P?f ' tA^ \ vhat rare firc ^rkcs be hero .? flafh, fla!l>. 
i h a . what s the matter Hed ON ? can you tcJI > 


A fur btt hub 

How /""£• 

iifc» Urttiirnd 
from ftel(ini bit 






( y tit bit's 

himfome tobefricnds -- - - 

A so. Come ; 
me, Morus| 

M o . Yea, ur . g RO odaumv 

M Vl ! acr> .1^11 have ir ; 

• . 


a X I? thank her, good page. 

AS ° J hasbeeentertainUthc/ 

Wi. SeS clofe, you .(tall fee, though the ^ hng 

^^my^aertiunUsyou. . . 

Mor. Gall him hither. 

Mo Yes, mafter. ^, -.-.,., .,, 

Mor. Yes, in verity, and gave me this purfil-, and he has promise! n* 

ambft fcdoegc \ which lie wiU have drawnc with my picture, ije faics: 
and dcfiresmoftvehementlytobeknowne to yourladifmps ■ 

Ph* Call himhim hither, tis good groping inch a gull. 

Mo. Matter Asotus, mates Asotus. _ , - 

As o . For loves fake, let mc goec you tee, I am call d to the ladies. 

Arc'. \ Yik thou forfake.fne then? 

As©. , God fo, what would you have medoc ? 

Mor. Come hither, niaftcr Asotus. IdocenfureyonrladifhipSjIit 
iw^CRclcmanof avcry'worthy dofcrt .: aadbfamoft boantifull nature. 
You muft fhewand inhmutc yourfclfcTcfponrlble, and equivalent no* 
to myconimencimenf. Good ll-onors, grace him. 

Aso. I proreft (morethan moft faire Jadies) I doe \vi(Tiall variety of 
divine pleafures, choice fports, fwect mu(ick,rich fare, brave attire , lb:: 
beds, and filken thoughts, attend thefc fai re beauties. Will itpleafeyoc 
ladimip to vvearc this chainc ofpearlc,and cliis diamond, for myfike? 

Arc. O. 

Aso. And you , Madame , this -jewell, and pendants. 

Arc. O. 

Ph a . Wee know not how to deferve thefc bounties, outof fa tyr 
merit, Asotus. 

Phi. No, in faith, buttherc's ca^. glove for a favour. 

Ph a . And foone, after the revels, I will beftow a garter on you . ,. 

Aso. Lord, ladies ! it is more gracethan ever I could have hop^ 

but that itpleafeth your lad i (hips tocxtcnd..lprotcft,iris enough)*: 

3'on but take knowledgcbf my«— *— ~if your.Iadifhips want cmbroi^ 

gpwncs, tyres of any fafhion, rebatues, jewels, or carkanets, any tW 

whatfoever, if you vouchiafero accept.- — — . £ 

Cup. And for it, they willhclpeyou to fhoo-tics, and devices. 

Aso. 1 cannot utter my felfe ( dearc beauties ) but yon can & 
ccive -. ' 

Aiu;. O. 

Pha. Sir, we will acknowledge your fervtce, doubt not : henccftw™ 
/ou (hall bee no more Asotus ro us, but our gdd-(i>ick , and ** 

agts . 


Cynthia's %cvells. 


Aso. O Venus, Madams! how Hull I deferve this? if l WC rc but 
made acquainted with HEDON,now, Tie trie: pray you away. 
Mbr. How he prays Money ro goc away from hini ! 

Aso. AMORPHiis,a word with you: here's a watch I would beftow 
upon you, pray you make me knownc to that gallant. 

Amo. That I will, fir. Monficur Hedon, I muft intrcat you to ex- 
change knowledge with this gentleman. 

Hkd. Tis a thing (next to the water we expeft) I thirft after, fir. 
Good Monficur Asotus. 

Aso. Good Monficur Hr- don, I would be glad to be lov'd of men 
ofyourrankc, and fpirit, I proreft. Pleafc you to accept this paire of 
bracelets, fir : they arc not worth the beftowing— — . 

Mer. O, Hercules, how the gentleman purchafes ! this muft 
needs bring Argurion to a confumption. 

Hed. Sir, I fhallncvcr ftand in the merit of fuchbountie, I fearc. 
Aso. O Venus, fir ; your acquaintance fhall be fufficient. And if 
at any time you need my bill, or my bond — — 
Arc O, 6. 

Amo. Help the lady there. 

Mor. Gods dearc, Argurion I Madame, how doc you ? 

Arg. Sick. 

Pha. Have her forth, and give'her aire. 
As o . I come againc ftrair, ladyesj 

Mer. Well, I doubt, all the phyfick he has willfcarcc recover her i 
incc s too farrc fpenr. 

■ V 





i v. 

Philautia, Gelaia, Anaides, Cos, Pno- 

s a i t e s , p h a n t a s t e , m o r i a , 

Amorphus, Hed on. 

Q Here's the water come : fetch glaflcs,page. 

G e i . Heart of my body, here's a coile indeed, with your jealous 
humours. Nothmgbuc whore, and bitch, and all the villanous fwaggerine 
names you can think on ? 'Slid, take your bottle, and put it in your gSts for 
me, I fc fee you poxt ere I follow you any longer. 

Ana. Nay, good punk, fwect rafcail ? dam" me, if I am jealous now. 

vjei. That s true indeed: pray let's goe. 

Mor. What's the matter, there ? 

W,fl" ' SIi 8 ht > hc h " n« upon intergatories, (nav, my mother fliall 

loner, TT U H fcmc > whcre V iavcbcenc? and > wh V I ^u!d May lb 
'ong. and, how is't poffible > and withal! calls me at his pleafure, I know 
not how many cockatrices, and things. 

Von vv^Tn P ° n V f g f ndc *°nian \ and ( l'lc enfure you ) if I had knowne 

M^^^v^^^^^^ fllcc {houl{ never have fan- 
cied you to deeply as (lice has done. Goe too. 

M««* JJ^^y^^^motherMoRiA. Hcartf 
m or. Nay, I pray you, fir, doc not fivearc. 

A N A . 

In una. 



CyntMa'J ] 



— , , "t hue firotnci afore now, J hope. Both,,. 

Ana. Sweaic? why : ? l « , luvc not honor d Are if, th a 

and your daughter ™ l " K urr / next to Cynthia ) with ha'Ife trW - 
held the wotthicft lady in . ^^ ^ . rf private> howfocver outward',, I 

fer^cc,andrefpear,as 1 ^ negligent. Come, yov area feoyj I 
I h.ue carried my leHeacUr , ^ ^ ^ Ki(Fe me? ^ M 

^to,«ndknow.Ddcwflc 7 ua.| 

D °Mor l Mav, in^ed I muft confclTe, fliee is apt to mifprifion. Btt i 
muft tvave g fe fc iS£ h6w do's the lady > 

H O here's the rareft water that ever was taftcd : fill him f 0mc . 
Pan What '.has my mailer a new pi?,e? 
Mer. Yes; a iStoof the ladie Mori a s : you muft wanebett* 
now^orvouarccalriecrd.PROSArn-is. - ■ 

An n. Come, gallants, you muft pardon my foolirti humour .- wheal 
• am angrie, that any thing crolTes me, 1 grow impatient ftrait. Here, I 

drinketovou. r . , . .. 

Phi. 6, that we had five, or fix bottles more of this liquor. 

Pha. Now 1 commend your judgement, Amorphus; who's tk 

knockes? Look, page. „,..,, , a „ 

Mor. O, moftdeKcious,a litticiflf this ■ would make ArguriosikIL 
Pha. O, no, give her no cold dcinkc, by any -miancs. 
Ana. This water is the fpirit of wine. Tie be bang'dclfe. 
Cos. Here's the lady Arete, Madame. 





Arete, Moria, Phantaste, Phiiautia, 
' An a ides, Gelaia, Cos, Prosaites, 
Amorphus, Asotus, Hedon, 
Mercurie, Cupid. 

\]\j Hat ! at your bever, gallants ? 

v v Mor. Wil't ptcafc yourladifhip to drinke? 'tis of the # 
fount ay ne water. 

Aru. NotI,MoRiA,I thank you. Gallants, you are for this oi^ 
free, to your peculiar delights; Cynthia will have no fports:^ 
lhec is pleas-d to come forth, you fell have knowledge In the mf 
time, I could wifh you did provide for folemne Revells ,arul fome uolo* 
iordcvitcofwjt , to entertainc her, againft fhc fhould vouchfifc^ 
your paftimcs with her prefence. 

Amo . What fry you to a Mafque ? 

Are. ^^ 5 llcfendf rCRiTEs,andhavehisadvice; beyou* 
inyourindeavours: He (hall difebarge you of the Inventive pam 
Pha. Bur, will not your ladiAiipihr 
Are. Notnow, Phantaste. 

Jri i"oftS. te B ° C ' l ^ y ° U) 8 °° d lady ****' l am **" 


Cynthia's %evells. 

Pha. What a fet face the gcntlcwomin has, as Hiee wcreftillCTomo- 
to a facrificc ? ' " ° ° 

Phi. O, i"hee is the extraction of a dozen of ^r/V^f, for a look. 
Mor. Of all Nymphs i' the court, I cannot away with her; 'tis the 
courfeft thing 


Phi. I wonder, how Cynthia can afred her Co above the reft ! Here 
be they are every way as fa ire as fhee, and a thought fairer, I trow. 
Pha. I, and as ingenious and conceired as fliee. 
Mo R. I{ and as politique as iliee, for all fhec fcts fuch a fore-head on >♦ 
Ph 1 . Would I were dead, if 1 would change to be C y n t h i \ . 
.Pha. Or I. 

Mor. Or L 

Amo. And there's her minion Ckites ! why his advice more than 
Amorphus? have not I invent'on afore him? Learning, tobettcrthat 

invention, above him? and infarfred, with pleafanttravaile ., 

- Ana.. Death, what talk you of his learning? he underftands no more 
than a fchodle-boy ; I have put him downe my felfe a thoufand times ( by 
this aitc ) and yet I never talkt with him but twice, in my life : you never 
faw his likcv I could never get him to argue with me, but once, and then, 
becaufe I could notcpnftme an Author I quoted at firft fight, heewent 
away, and laught at me. By Hercules, I fcorne him, as 1 doe the fod- 
den Nymph, that was here e'en now, his miftris Arete : And 1 love my 
felfe for nothing elfe. 

Hed. I wonder the fellow do's not hang himfelfe,being thus fcorn'd,and 
contemn'd of us that are held the moft accomplifht fbcictie of gallants ! 

Mer. By your felves, none elfe. . ;' 

Hed. I protcft, if I had no mufiqueinme, no courtfliip, that I were 
not a reveller and could dance, or had nor rhofe excellent qualities that 
give a man life, and perfection, but a mecre p'oofe-fcholler as he is, I rhink 
I fhould make fome defperate way with my felfe, whereas how ( would I 

might nevct breath more) if I doe know that creature in this kingdomc, 
with whom I would change. 

Cup. This is excellent: well, I muft alter all this fobne. 

Mer. Look you doc, Cupid. The bottles have wrought, itfeemes. 

Aso. 0, 1 am forry the Revclls arc croft. I fhould ha' tickled it foone. 
I did never appeare rill then. 'Slid, 1 am the neat lye ft -made gallant i* the 
companie, and have the beft prefence; and my dancing — well, I know 
what our nfher faidto me, laft time I was at the fchoofc ,:' would I might 
have lead Philautia in the meafures, an it hadbeenei the gods will, I 
am moft worthy, I am fure. 

Morus. Maftcr, I can tell you newes, the lady kill mee yonder', and 
plaid with me, and fays fliee lov'd you once, as well'as fliee do's me, bur 
that you caft her off. 

Aso. Peace, my moft eftecmed page. 

Morus. Yes. ' 

t Aso. What luck is this, that our Revclls are daflrt? Now was I be- 

PT| lng r° S liftcr » lthc vcr y bigh-way of prcfermenr. And Cynthia 
nad bur feenc me dance a! ftrairiej or doe but one trick, I had beene kept in 
court, I fliould never have needed to look towards my friends agen. 
Amo. Containc your felfe. You were a fortunate yong man, if you 




knew you ownc 
multiply upon [ 

.notion. Thchumc*o°s_ 

lioln of vourdc-ligw vlmm>l y W edoeto ra Iccme it? 

' 1>HA " " n V rU rlinvc cannot, bur, tacrearca new flame, i sino 
Amo . Kc ^ CT C c £ nr | cinJ n,niy fchollcr, whom (for Tome private rca^ 
power. Herein a {£• , . m COV ctous to gratifie with title of Matter in 
mc fa^£££& fcicnccof Cwrdfejf! For which grace, he fhilhL 


An Fxccllenr, excellent, Amormjms. 

Amo WcJli let us then take our time by the fore-head : 1 will inftant- 
1 Y have bills drawne, and advance! in every angle of the court. Sir, be. 
J, ^ your too much joy. Anaides, We muft mix this gentlemu 
wiih you in acquaintance, Monficur As otus. 

\n \ 1 am eafily intreated to grace any or your friends, Amorphic. 

Aso. Sir, and his friends (hall likewife grace you, fir. Nay, I begis 
to know my felfc,now. • 

Amo. O, you muft continue your bounties. 

Aso. Muft I ? why, l'le give him this ruby on my finger. Docyoo 
heare 3 fir? I doc heartily wilhyour acquaintance, and I partly known) 
felfc worthy of it- pleafe you,iir, to accept this poore ruby, in a ring : 
The pocf/e is of my ownc device. Let this hlujhfor me, fir. 

Ana. So it. muft. for me, too. For I am notafham'd to take ir. 

Morus. Sweet man ! by my troth, maftcr, I love you, will you love 
me, too? for my aunts fake ? Tie wait well, you (hall fee. l'le ftillbeheic. 
Would I might never ftirrc, but you area fine man in theft clothes, 
M after, (hall I have 'herr^ when you have done with them ? 

Aso. As for that, Morus, thou fhalt fee more hereafter.' ifttfe 
meane time, by this aire, or by this feather, l'le doc as much for thee 
any gallant (hall doc for his page, whatfocver, in this court, corncrof^ 
world , or kingdomc. 

Mer. I wonder, this gentleman fbould affect to keep a foolc! mx 
thkks, he makes fport enough with himfelfe. 

Cup. Well, Pros aites, 'twere good you did wait clofer. 

Pro. I, l'le look to it$ us time. 

Cos. The Revclls would have beene moft fumntuous to night, il d*) 
had gone forward. 

Mer. They muft needs, when all thechoifcft Angularities of the' ? 
were up in pantoflcs s ne're a one of them, but was able to make a tfW* 

A-o. Sirrah, a torch, a torch. 

Pro. O what a call is there ! I will have a canzonet made, <rid> # 
tee id it but \irtA. and the burthen Hull be, / come. 

Cu», tIT« 8*™*"? d0c V° u like **■ change ? n , 

Cynthia's % eye Us. 

Mf.r. And then too, Cup i d, without you had prevented the Fount ainT, 
Alas, poore god, that remembers not felfe-Love, to bee proofe a^ainft 
the violence of his quiver! Well, I have a plot uponthefe prizcrs,for 
which, I muft prcfently find out Crites, and with his afliftance,purfuc 
it to a high ftraine of laughter, or Mercury hath loft of his mctall. 



A <ft 




Mercury, Crites. 

IT is refolv'd on, Crites, you muft doe it. 
Cm. The grace divineft Mercury hath done rac, 
In this vouchfafde difcovery of himfelfe, 
Binds my obfervance in the utmoft termc 
Of fa tis faction, to his godly will : 
Though I profefle ( without the affectation 
Of an enfore'd, and form'd aufteritie ) 
I could be willing to enjoy no place 
With fo unequall natures. Mek . We bclceve it. 
But for our fake, and to inflict juft pains 
On their prodigious follies, aid us now : 
No man is, prcfently, made bad, with ill. 
And good men, like thefea, fliould ftill maintain 
Their noble tafte, in midft of all frefli humours, 
That flow about them, to corrupt their ftreames, * 

Bearing no fcafon, much lefie fait of goodneiTe. 
It is our purpofe, Crites, to correct, 
And punifh, with our laughter, this nights fporc 
Which our court-D<w fo heartily intend : 
And by that worthy fcorne, to make them know 
How farrc beneath the dignitie of man 
Their fcrious, and moft practis'd actions are. 

Cri. I, but though Mercury can warrant out 
His undcr-ra kings, and make all things good. 
Out of the powers of his divinitie, 
Th'offence will be return'd with weight on me, 
That zm a creature fo defpis'd, and poore ; 
When the whole Court iliall take it felfe abus'd 
By our tronicall confederacie. 

Mer. You are deceiv'd. The better race in court 
l hat have the true nobilitie, calld vertue, 
V\ ill apprehend ir, as a gratefull right 
"one to their feparate merit : and approve 
f he fit rebuke of fo ridiculous heads, 
Who with their apifli cuftomes, and fore'd garbes, 
Would bring the name of Courtier in contempt, 
"id it not live unblcmiOit in fome ^ew, 

OnZ'Z' 1 }]?^^ lov ' d ' anap H oebus form'd 
v* better mctall, and in better mould. 




ei# v. 




Asotus, Amorphus. 

O 'more, if you love me, good mafter, you are incompatible to h. 
witbail r'Send me for the ladies. 
Amo. Nay, but intend me. 

Feare me nor, I warrant you, tir. 

vation of an eye, to be alwayes turn'd dutifully back upon your teacher. 
Aso. Nay, good fir, leave it to mcc. Truftmee with truffingall dx 
points of this a&ion,I pray. Slid, 1 hope we (hall find wit to performed* 

fcience, as well as another. . ...... 

Amo. I confcffe you to be of an aped,and doable humour. Yet the;; 
arc certain putitilhes, or (as I may more nakedly infinuate them) certain io- 
trinfecate ftrokes, and wards, to which your a&ivitie is not yet amountd 
As your gentile dor, in colours. For fuppofition, your miftris appears here 
in p rize i ribbanded with greene^ and yellow • now it is the part of every ob- 
fcquious fervanr, to be fure to have daily about him copie, and varietieof 
colours, to be prefently anfwerable to any hourely, or half-hourcly charge 
in his miftris revolution. 

Aso. (I know ir, fir. 

Amo. Give leave, I pray you) which i( your Antagonifi, or player- 
againft- you, fliall ignorantly be without, and your felfe can produce ; vol 
gvc hi nuhc <for. 

Aso. 1, 1, fir. 

fhal withdraw chus,in private,and from the abundance of h is pocket(to di- 
fplaceher jealous conccit)ftcale into his hat rhc colour,whofe bluenejHoi 

jS^g&S^ n ° tab0VC ^ -derftanding. There* 
A s o . I know it too, I know it 

Amo. Doe it,on P ceneof the dor 
Aso. VVhy; what is'r, fay you? ' 

Cynthia's ^e veils. 

your miftris fmilcs ; and you give him the dor. 
Aso. VVhy,fo I told you, fir, I knew it. 

Amo. Told nice ? It is a ftrange outrecuidancc I your humour too 
much rcdoundcth. 
As o . Why, fir, what, doe you think you know more > 
Amo . I know that a cooke may as fobnc,and properly be faid to fmell 
well, as you to be wife. 1 know thefe arc moft clcerc,and cleane ftrokes. But 
then, you havcyourp .ijjages^nd imbroccata's in teo1fri]bx(fi5 the bitter Bob m 
wit ; the Reverfe in face, or wry-mouth ; and thefe more fubtill, and fecure 
offenders. I will example unro you. Your opponent makes entry, as you 
are ingag'd with your miftrcfle. You feeinghim,clofc inher care, with this 
whifper (here comes your BaBiou, difgrace him) and withall, fteppin* ofF] 
fall on his bofome, and turning to her, politickly, aloud fay, lady, regard 
this noble gentleman, a man rarely parted, fecond to none in this court ; 
and then, ftooping over his ("boulder, your hand onhisbrcft, your mouth 
on his back-fide, you give him the Reverfe ftroke, with this Sa»na,oi 
Storks-bill, which makes up your wits Bob, moft bitter. 

^ Aso. Nay,for heavens fake, teach me no more. I know all as well — 
S'lid, if I did nor, why was I nominared ? why did you chufe me ? why did 
the ladies prick out me ? I atnfurc there were other gallants. But me of all 
the reft ? by that light, and as I am a courtier, would I might never Air, buc 
'tis ftrange. Would to the Lord, the ladies would come once. 


v. Scene 


i r r. 

Morphides, Amorphus, Asotus, Hedon, Amai- 
des, The Throng, Ladies. Citizen, Wife, 
P a g es, T ay i. o r, Mercer, Perfu- 
me r, Jeweller, &jr. 

Olgnior, the gallants and ladies areat hand. Are you ready, fir ? 

° Amo. Infbntly. Goc, a ccomplifh your attire: Coufin Morphides, 

affift me, to make good the doorc with your officious tyranny. 

Cit. By your leave my maftcrs there, prayyou let'scome by. 

Pag . You by ? why fhould you come by, more rhan we ? 

Wif. Why, fir? Becaufc he is my brother, that playesthep/^c. 

Mo r. Your brother? 

Cit. J> her brother, fir, and we muft come in. 
Tay. Why, what arc you ? 
Cit. I am her husband, fir. 
Tay . Then rhruft forward your head. 
Amo. What tumult is there ?' 

Mo r . Who's there ? beare back there. Stand from the doore.' 
t Amo. Enter none but the ladies, and their hang-bics; welcome BNu£ 
'*«, and your kind Shadows. 

T 2 Hed; 



A«. tit o« <***»« lK ' rc - 

AMO.SbQS « WTL p-™ there; and goodman Cockcfconk 
Mot Who fe y<wr brother?, 

r £rfons He is nor to know you to night. _ 
great Pfflg5k" fe 4n|ftcri an there come etc a citizen gcmlcivonan 

brother ? 

*;-:; ■;• wm^a***! 1$bcc your brothcr ? Hcc is takcn up wi!l! 

pekons. He is nor to 

?s O To ve, matter! « - . rn ~ 

„ «**&*? have entrance, I pray you. It .s my filter. 

%c , 


VViF. Brother. 

Cir. Brother, matter Asotus. 

Aso. Who's there? 

VVif. 'T is 1, brother. i . , 

Aso Godsmcl There flice^goodinaflcr, intrude her. 

Mor. Make place. Beare back there. 
Amo. Knock thatfimple fellow, there, 

'Wif. Nay,good fir jltismy husband. 

Mor. The fimplcr fellow he. Away, back with your heads Br, 

Aso. Brother, you muft pardon your non-entr.y: Husbands arc not a!- 
lowd here in truth. lie come home foone with my fitter 4 pray you toes 
us with a lanthorn, brother. Be merry, lifter i 1 mall make y ouh ugh ano;. 

Pha. YourfW^/isnotreadie Amorphus. 

Amo. Apprehend your places, he foonc ; and at all points. 

Ax a . Is there any body come toanfwer him ? Shall we have any (port? 

Amo. Sport of importance ; howfoevcr, give, me the gloves. 

H E D . Gloves ! why gloves, Signior I 

Phi. What's the ccremonie? 

Amo. BcfiJe their recciv'd fitnefle, at all prizes, they are here pro- 
perly accommodate to the nuptials of my, {Mlers 'haviour to the. lift 
Courtfbip. Pleafe you apparel l your hands. Madame P h a n t a sT£. 
\nadame P H i L A u t l A. Guardian, Siqnior Hf-DON , Signior Anaides, 
Gentlemen all, Ladies. .■ 

Ail. Thanks, good Amorphus. 

Amo. 1 will now call forth my Prtv 

matters., _ _ 

other ? 

« ' 


no rcafon, but we fhould take 'hem dowuc, at their ownc weapons, 

Phi. Troth )an dfo,vcni2y,ifwehandle'hera wc ll. ' ,i 

Wif. 1 indeed forjboth, Madame, if Were* the chic, wee *& 

think foulc fcorne,but we would, forfooth. 

Ph a . Pray you, whar l nould we call your name > 

V\ IF. My name is, Downfall ■ 

Hed. GoodmiftrisD^^/ t am forry , your husb .md could >* : 

Wi | . 'Tis no matter for him, fir. 

A KT - „^ n... i , 

N o, fhee has the more liberie .for her fclfc. 

PH- 1 


Cynthia's c Rcbells. 


PHA. Peace, peace: They come. 

Amo. So, Keep up your mite : thctin&ure of your neck is not all fo A *" 

pUre, u U ,f V Vll \ > ask r u-- M,inuinc y° ur f P ri g »P"g u t i your clokc on 
your halfe-fhoulder falling 5 So: I will readc your bill, advance it and 
prefentyou. Silence. 

tin Reveller y to tae cloth of tiffie, and bodkin) that we, Ulysses-Politro " 


to play bt< Maffersprtzl, agam\\ all Mafers whatever in tbisfukilemyllerie 

the bare Accott; ^better Rcguard s the folemne AddrelTe \ andthe pc \f c d 
Ciofe. Thefeare therefore to give notice, to all commers , that bee Jhe (aid 

AcOLASTUS-PoLYPRAGMON-AsOTUS,tf^/>r,/^ (Is the heL VAt 

Mm ?fcta MMte Sernplle, yandfo fo J) L Wjfft^l 
this faire gallery, the prefent day of this prefent month, to perforce, andZ 
huuttMojlfor tbeaubtevement, and bearing awa, of the prizes whit are 

r^.-viz. For the hiK Accoft >? . Wall-eyes,i/ rt facefoWedi^^ 
beaer Reguard,^ «faee favorably fimpring, W/^Fannc waving : &£ 

But /^ C vl THl!. ^ thC han ^ " f " ^ BanCIUCC * ^ W - ^P«* 

themTelrtmmoT ^ ^ a,,fVVCr ¥^ ' N ° ^ ? «4 ^ 

Pha. The folemnityof this is excellent:. 
4tfcr„bS"- W^'^^i.cyonrnameisthefrterro,, andkee- 

Aso. I faith, Matter, let's goc : no body comes- riSms iiRM 
vtaum.ri^vitltvitli Let's bee retrograde ' "'** 

Amo. Stay. Thatwerc difpunft roth e lad iel Rather, our feJfc irull 
beyour Encounter. Take your ftate,up, to the wall: And l a dV rn av w " 
rmplore you to ftand forth, as firft terme or bound to our cSh?p. 

Hed. Fore heaven, twill (hew rarely. ' < """imp. 

Amo. Sound a charge. 

Ana. Apoxont. Your vulgar will count this fabulous and ; m .„ 
dent, now: by that candle, tbey'le nexe conceit ft. ^ ' ° d ""^ 

, Pha. Excellent well .'.admirable! 

Phi. Peace. 

HED.Moftfainionably, belceve it. 

Phi. O, hec is a vveU-fpoken gentleman, 

Pha. Now the other. 

Phi. Very good. 

Hf.d. For a Scholer, Honor. 

Ana. O 'tis too dutch: Hereeles too much. 

«ed. 1 his weapon is done. 

Amo. No, wee have our two bouts, at every wapon , expe a. 

Z A3 

Muf-tli found:. 

A Claris, 



Tbty aatbth 
accofi (ever jli, 
to the hdy that 
fla/rtfi forth. 

■ i 

A ftfffijb. 



7 faveK 

T# t'cf. 


M v. 

Scene iv. 

Ckites, Mhrcurie. 

r n.n« and their brave frizer here? 
W S#v!ft$£ M back • Keepe the doore. 

Amo. V vhata [f/°";tlnd-maftcr. Come forward, fir. 
?*'• KTwho i«i It rag there, an.ongft us > put him 

impecunious creator^ 
£ ED . Out with him. 

Mor. Come, fir 


m3 y have fairc play 

A c ;: SgghSta to (hew here , and.confirmed undenhc tab 
oHhe moft skilfull , and eunning »**»«!»? altve : pleafevo. 

readc, fir. 

& Stt J&& h* r *#*■*• ■** 

you doe. . . 

/- mo. Why, but he comes with,tbe ftranger, i 

Hed. That's no matter. Hee is^.Qvvne'coviiKryrnan.. 
Ana. I, and hee is a fcholier Bdfides. You may difgface hiatal 

with authorise. 

Amo. Welljfecthcfefirft. ., . 

Aso. Novvniilllbcobfcrv'dbyyon-d'fcholle^till I.fweatagainc;i 

would to lo v B, it were over. 

Cri . Sir , this is the wight of worth, that dates you to the encoun- 
ter. A gentleman of Co r5\eafmg,and ridiculous a carriage f as, even ittfr 
ding, carries meat in the mouth, you fee • and If allure you , .aKnougJ 
r.obicd cminltn^ ■ yet a moiY particular, man 4 Of. goodly hav ings , w.. 
fimiond baviour, and of as hardened and excellent a barke, asthcinoj 
naturally-qualified amoneft them, inform d , Tcfbrm'd , and transform 
fromhis originall citycilme ; by this elixtr^ot mccrc Magazine of ^ 
And, for your fpeftators, you behold them, what they are: The nioii 
choyce particulars in court : This tels talcs well • Tl is provides coachffi 
This repeats jefts ; This prefents gifts; This holds up the arras -'Tbis" 
downe frorahorfe 5 This protefts by this light: Thisfwcurcsby d* tC f 
die j This dclightcth 5 This adorcth. Yet, all but three men. Then » 
your ladies, the moft proud wittiecrcaturcs,aHrhin2S apprehending- 
thing underftanding,perpctually laughing, curious iminrainch of fig 
/!__,_ ._„ _ 'iltA 1 '!. 

p' , • —'—. — ,K7~" ""' "/' fc "* At »»uoraananjciM k » JC *, x 

icc:y < commerce , their beauties maintain their painters , and tPt 
painters their beauties. l 


tiling undemanding, perpetually laughing,curious mainwincrs o< 
mercers, and minftrels, ooitly ro bekept, mifcrably keeping all 
ning, but their paintcr,and pothecary, twixt whom and them the 

Cynthia's 7<m//j. 


Mf.K. Sir, you havcplaid the painter your felfe,and limb'd thcrr«othc 
life. 1 defire to defcrve before 'hem. 

Amo. This is fcftfatf/pm XYccmuftrcfoivctocntcrtaine the Men. Hal 
paryhoy'ocver we neglect him. . thtcmifut 

H&b. .Comc,lctsairgoetoijother,andfalutchim. 
Ana. Content, and notlookc o' the other. 

Amo. Welldcvis'd:andamoftpuni(liin«»di(crracc. 
Hud. On. ' ?, ° 

Amo. Monji eur. We mull norib much beiray our feives to difeottrt- 
/bff ,as to fuffer you to bee longer unfa luted : Pleafe you to ufc the fare 
ouiw'A for the .oppmnt^ in which nature, without envie we rcceivcyotu 

Hed. And embrace you. — — '. 

Ana. And commend us to you, fir. 

Phi. Beleeve ir, he is a man of excellent filence. 

Parti : He kcepsall his wit for action. 

An a. This hath difcounrcnane'd our fchalavis^ moft richly. 

Hed. Out of all empbafis. The. Munfieuv fees, we regard him not. 

Amo. Hold on : make it knownc how; bitter a thing ir is not to be 
Iook't on in cou't. 3 

Hesv, i> lud^.will hee call hiihro hinr yet ? doe's not Aimfeurpcr- 
ccive. ou'tdifgracc?. 1 

Anao Heard, he .is. a foble, I ice. Wee have done our fclves wrong 
to grace him. 6ih ■ ■ •■ ' B 

Hed. S'liglitjwhatanaflewasljto-embraceliim? 
Gj\j. 1 ilu thousand fcarfull judges -~-lz 

Hed. Turne away, rairne away. ".• 

Cri. It is the futc of thetoarige opponent (r6arhbm you ought not 
to turne. your .taiksyand whofe nofes I mutt follow) chat he may havc-thc 
juftice , before hee encbuntcrfiis refpededfaiU-crlary. , tofee(bmeli«ht 
ftrokc of his Play, commene'd with iomc other. . tt 

H^ lAj>fiv&.noif him,burith'citTangeri;.jvc" will not belcevc him. 
Amo. 1 will demand him my fclfc. 

Cri. O dreadful 1 di (grace, if a man wefe To foolifli to fcele it I 

Amo. your fuit, Mo'nfieur\\b fc'cibmc yrAludsof my fcholier? 

Now, fure the ^-/o//// (.•///•. want's Jan^iagc.' ' ' 

Hed. And take upon him td be one of thcaccompliih't > S'lisht,thats 

a good jeft: woilld.«fc could takehim widi that «x/i/r'i/>. 'N6n%nne vol 

fork? Itagliano i 

. Ana, S'lboritbecarpelus-iio tongue. i:i, 

iatjsne the MonfievBopenefii.: ? 

t^FZ'- j Vc1Ij J VviU ftrike him more^lcicw^h aJmiratioa and 
^ bis danng hither. Hee fliall behoM^m^r?^^ K 

^SSr reflect, reflect: what meanes hee by that 

Cri. He is in (on.c dm a ftcof your fellow-difciple. 
. R * ^'^'^your fcholier m-ght have plaid well ilill, if hee could 


A cbgr it. 


A Amu 

4 fourip). 
A charge. 


. , , „„,... t-have enough of him, now. Heisanw 

neecc of klafle, I Tec d-offiffi, & c fcornc , //«i/?«r * 

Amo. You come ■nor ^^ a facc> ^ /V 1 1 have feene the I yons 
Mer. Nor to be mgw ^ ^ hazzard a reputation whh • 

^' Yo doe offer a Orange affront, Monfieur. 

Cr i ' Sir, he (hall yceld you all the honour of a competent adverfaiie, 

ifvouplcafetoundcr-takchim • 

Mer. I am preft for the encounter. 

Aso ' Wat '• my Mafter> ? 'Slight, Atonfieur, meddle with me,doc 
vou heare ? but doc not meddle with my Matter. 
Mer. Peace, good fquib,goe out. 
Cm, Andttir.k,hebidsyou. 

Amo'. Silence, I doe accept him. Sit you downe, and obferve. Me? 
He ' never profeft a thing at more charges. Prepare yourfelfe, fir. CM 
lcn<*e me ? I will profecure what difgrace my hatred can dictate to mc. 

Cri. How render a travailers fplccne is? comparifon, to men,thx 
defcrve lead, is ever moft ofienfivc. 

Amo. You arc inftru&ed in our charteB, and know our weapons? 
Mer. I appearenoc without their notice, fir. 
Aso. Bur muft I Iofe the fri&k Maferi 
Amo. I will win them for you, be patient. Lady, vouchfafe the te- 
nure of this enfigne. Who ftiali be your fticklcr ? i 
Mer. Behold him. 

Amo. I would not wifh you a weaker. Sound muficks. I prowb 
you, at the t>*re Accofi, 

Pha. Excellent comely ! 

Cm. And worthily ftudied. This is th'exalted Tore-top. 

Hed. O, his legge was too much produe'd. 

Ana. And his hat was carried ski rvily. 

Peace i Let's fee the Monfuur't Accojl : Rare 1 

Sprigjitiy, and mot t. 

Truest U die trench curtetu : He lacks but to have his nofc &> 
He do s hop. Ht do's bound too much. 
1 be fecond bout, to conclude this weapon. 
Good, bcleeve it ! 

An excellent offer 1 

This is caU'd the/«bm bandying, 

Fon, that cringe was not put home. 

*\\ *L H^f dnecd r s ^ c "upon him, botwouldlbad** 
all this. He makes mc fit ftill herp i;t,»« i ' Y . . m 

• Making villanous face" " ' ^ * ***"» " * *"• 










it for 

Ph i . Sec , the French prepares it richly. 


Cynthia's T^evells. 

Cri. I, this is ycle ped the feribus trifle. 
An a . \Slud, 'cis the harfe.ftart out o'.the brownefiud'ie. 
Cri. Rather thebird-e/djtroh, fir. Your obfervancc is too blunt fir 
Amo. Judges, award •tttcpwi Take breath, fir. This bout hath 
becne laborious. . - fi 

thefe things 

Aso. AndjMe.yoor.&wftrr*,or vour irf^aW will. think 
fopperic, air! cade, now. '.^wi - ■ . % « 

. .?*!: , l r -. n i cr mcere Am^. For, wou'ld any rcafonable creature 
nuke thefe* bisiferious foidieMnd per fea ions? Much leflc, only Jive ro 
thefe ends? to be the : falfc pleafureofa few, the true love of none, and 
the juft laughter of all? ■ i 

jviokl A p; 

Ana. Give the Monfieur. Amorphus hath loft his eyes 

Amo. U is the palate of your judgement down? Gentlesidoapncale 
; Aso. Yes matter, tome. The judges be foolcs, ) Vi 

Ana. How now, fir? Tie up your tongue, MungriH. Hee cannot 
appealc. ' v 

' ^Aso. Say you, fir? 

• Ana. Sit you (till, fir. ' , 

Aso . Why, fo I doe. Doc not I, I pray you? ) 

• Mer. Remenie; Madame, and thefe honourabic'Ccnfors. 

Amo. Well, to the fecond weapon, Abetter Reward: I will en- 
counter you better. Attempt. 
Hed. Sweet Homier.. 

Phi. What fayes my good Ambition? 

Hed. Which take you at this next weapon ? I Jjy a dilc/etion with 
you, on Amorphu's head. .oifj , • :. ' 

Phi. Why, I take the Frencb-bdm'd gentleman'.- ■ I 

Hed. 'Tis done, a discretion, 

■ ■■Cri. Adifcretion? A prcttie court-wager ! would any drfcrect per- 
lon na/ardhiswitjfo? > < m 

Pha. Tie lay adifcretion with you, Anaides. 

Ana. Hang 'hem'. He not venter a'doibt otdfection , On- cytlicr 
of their heads 

Cri.. No, he fhouldvcnter all then: 
Ana. I like none of their playcs. 

Hed. See, fee, this is ftrange play J 

Ana. Tis roofullof unccrtaine motion; He hobbles too much. 
t-Ri. ris call d your court.paggers, fir. 
Hed. That fame fellow talks io\ now he has a place. 
Ana. Hanghim, neglefthim. 
" Mer.. ro«rj,6odladi}bips aliened. 
Wif. Gods foi. they fj^aic at this weapon, brother! 
As o . They mutt doe 1b, lifter,- how mould it be the Meter Jtearu^dfc ? 
n Wftbittks, bee didnot this refpeftively inou«h. ' 
Phi- Why, the Mo*{h«r but dallies with him. 

<W a" Ualhcs? 'Slight fec^hce'lc put him too'c, in turneft. Wdl 



A chug. 

A ft 


'. i. 

ssi/jra* 7aj£d3*£ p la y- Hee hits himfclfe °^ 

Cri. Gods nice! inis isu Y 


u a! this good through i he carries it, I warrant bio,. 
An'.he make tins B^_ rMt . ,»,,,„_ 

Hed. An" ^, ma Ji f : . Y es his feet, rarely. 

Cri. Indeed he diipuy^, a . x , cL ^ cdamni bly well. 

Hed . See, fee 5. fj^°l 0l ,r beauties, /W »«*rf# their deitits «*. 
Alio . The true sd<d#»V 

*y* I 'g2«W* ^^ I* * e «** : HC fatiSfiCS a " ' * 

Hed- ^ ct > t * 
ri, r ^ AndmoCribly he comes off: like your *.*»«*. 

fco. ?Sffif^S! eafier, wherein I wiU prove to 

chi infirtfemprt ?""" i $ erv '" U > & h <"" rlrU - S 'f"° le """* deV ° ^T 
Cri. The rentt'utkPf this. . 

Pha. Moftunexfpeftedly excellent! The Frentb goes donrne certiite. 

Aso. Ai buckets 'ft pit dtmie into hdcS; 

O r as a feboole-boy 

Cri. Trufle up your fimile, lack-daiv^nd obfervc. 
Hed. Now the Monpeur is mov'd. 
Ana. Boc-pcepe. 
Hed. O, moft antique. 
Cri. The French guirk, this fir. 
An a . Heart, he will over-runne her ! . 

Mer. M.u/amoyfelle, levoudroy que pouvoy mon(lrer man affeBton, w 
ie[uis tant mod beureufe^cifroid, ci layd y ci — le nefcay qui di dirc—^'W 
moy, le fuu tout voflre. . 

Phi. O brave, and fp irked I Hee's a right lovialifti 

Pha. No, no: Amorphu's gravitic outwaics it. 

Cri. And yet your lady, or your feather would outweigh both. 

Ana. What's the prize, lady, at this better Reguardl 

Mo R . A Face favourably pmpring,zn& a Fanne waving. 

Ana. They have done doubtfully. Divide. Give the favourrfl* ?>•'■ 
to the Siguier, and the Light reave, to the Monpeur. 
Am o . You become the Simper well, lady. 
Mer. And the wag, better. 

Amo. Now, to owx folemne Addrejje. Pleafe thewcll-«rac'dP« lU * 
IIA to relive the lady Sentinel!- (hee hath flood long ° 

Phi. With all my Iieart ; come, Guardian, ReGgne your place- 

Amo. Monfteur, furnilh your felfc with what folemnitie ofofl**? 
you think fit for this third weapon j at which you arc to (hew aU the & 
ningof ftrokc, your devotion can poflibly devife. 

Mer. Let me alone, fir. I'lcfumcientlydccypher your amorous ^ 

Cynthia's %eDells. 


A C'lT't, 

nicies.CRiTESjhavc patience .Sec, if J hit not all their pra&ick obfervance 

with which they lime twigs, to catch their phantaftick lady-birds. ' 

Cri. I, but you fhould doe more charitably, to doe it more openly • 

that they might difcover thcm(clves mocktinthcfemonftrousarTeaions. ' 
Me r. Lacquay, where's the Taylor? 
Tay . Here, lir. 

Hed; Sec, they have their Taylor, Barbar, Perfumer, Millaner, Jewel- 
ler, Feather- maker, all in common 1 
Ana. ], tli is is pretty. 

Amo. Here is a ha ire too much, take it off. Where are thy mullets I -, 
Mer Isthispinkc of cquall proportion to this cur, (landing of this fZ'Sl 
diftance from it ? ° shift*. 

Tay. That it is, fir. 

Mer. Is it fo, fir, you impudent Poultrouni you Have, you lift vou 
(nreds, you. . * 3 J 

Hed. Excellent. This was the beft, yet. 

Ana. Why, we muilufc our Taylors thus. This is our true ma<ma- 
nimitic. o 

Mer. Come, goc to : put on. Wee muft bearc with you for the 
times fake. •> * u mz 

Amo. Is the perfume rich, in this jerkin ? 

Per. Taftc, fmdl 3 I aflurc you fir, pure beni amine, the only fpirited 
fair, thatevcr awak c a Neapolitan noftrill. You would wilTi your felfe all 
nofe, for thelove ont. Ifrotted a jerkin, fora new-revenud gentleman 

amo. 1 lavour no [ampfuchtne, m ir. 
«f r EK 'r } - m a ™ a i'P dh< > { thcre be not thrcc dMHi of a fcruplemorc 

^SSSSi fi" l ° ni tlUn "" X PUt " "^ r A" all 

Amo. You Oiallbc fimple,to difcover your fimples. 
Per Simple ? why fir ? what reck' I to whome I difcover ? I have in 

**rJ y MlMrtli calamus odoratue, flaSe, opobalfamum, amomtnn a^ * latU 
num, afpalathum y o P opan aX) oenanthe. And what of all thefe now> what ard 
you the better? Tut, it is the fortidg, and the dividing, andX mix £ 
andthe temp ring and the fcarcing, and the decoftinf, that makes the 
fumigation, and the fu mi mi gat ion. . 

Amo. Well, indue me with it. 
Per. I will, fir. 

Hed. Ancxccllcntconfeaion. 
mxHl 1 ' And m ? ftlvorth y a tru <" voluptarie. fo vf. ! whata coyJe thefe 
SetrX^h' P u ^ f eanothers delight? for,themS ,vho 
thTnr^ , rS,h r Ve C T r the Icaft fencc of ^m. Yet, I doe like better 
toS?X B iTS i aildclothe ^ -hereof one padeth to a Zs 
urcs, tne other, at lead wearesout t me : This orefcntlvrxni- r « and 

Mer. I kno.v, you will fay it firs WC H, dr. 

ay. Good faith, if it doc nor, fir, let your MMris bee judge. 




» tf ^TMittris Joenot like it, I lc make no more COn . 

feience to undoetbee, th ^ rcaM iftris i' the world can miflike it. 
Tay. Bclccvcit 5 thcasnc Miftris, that has onel ythe 

, NLeR. N t °> noc g nrefl'ing-roolc. But for a «wi*-Miftris, that ftudi e5 
judgements heat : your pr b . Qn of cvcry cut ,to a haire, kn ,v C5 

[ h efc ^^'f nd ^ up onfuch acolour, and,whcn a fatten is cutupon 
why fuchacolour ^ c f vc(houW Ji vc into the depthof the cut- 
fix tafotacs,w'll£^ H a you the feathery 

Me T r. Ha' you the Jewell? 

fe Wbafmuftlgivefor the hire on't? 

I ■ Youle cive mee fut crovvnes, fir? 
J M k. Sines? By heaven Were a good deed to borrow ucf 
thee, to (hew: and never let thee : have it againe. 
Tew 1 hopeyourworniipmUnotdocfo,fir : 
Mer Bv lo ve, fir, there bee fuch tricks (hiring, I can tell you, ad 
worthily too.Extorting knaves! that liveby thefe Court-decorums,^ 

. - What's your Jewell worth, I pray ? 

Jew. A hundred crowncs, fir. j ' \ 

Mer A hundred- crownes? And fix for the loane ont an home? 

What's" that i' the hundred for the ycere ? Thefe impoftors would notbe 

hang'd> yourthiefe is not comparable to 'hem, by Hercules ; well, 

punt in,and the feather. You will hat, and you (hall 5 and the pox give 

you good on't. t 

Amo. Give mee my confers, my mofcardini, and place thofe colow 

in my bar. 
Mer. Thefe are Bolognian ribbands, I warrant you ? 

Mil. In trurh,fir : if they be not right Granado filke 

Mer. A pox on you,you'le all fay fo. 

Mil. You give me not a penny, fir. 

Mer. Come fir, pcrfume^my devant • May it afcend , like folemnc fr 
crificc, into the noftrills of the gueenof'Love. 

H e d . Your French ceremonies are the beft. 

Ana. Monfieur, Signior^ your folenme sfddreJJ'e is too long. The' 1 ' 
dies long to have you come on. 

Amo . Soft, fir, our comming on is not fo cafily prepar'd. Signior ^' 

Per. I, fir. 

Amo. Can you help my complexion, here ? 

Per. O yes, fir, 1 have an excellent mineral Fuetts, for the purpo^ 
The gloves are right, fir, you (hall bury 'hem in a muck-hill, a drain: 
feven yeeres, and take 'hem out, and waiVhem, they (hall itill ^ 
their firft fen t, true Spanifli. There's ambre'i the umbre. 

Mer. Your price, fwceti 7 /^. 

Per. Give me what you will, fir: The Signior payes me two cro^ 
a pa ire ; you fhallgive mee your love, fir. 

Mer. My love ? with a pox to you, goodman fafafi 
i* I come, fir. There's an excellent diapafme in 

atapafme in achaine too, 1 *' 

Cynthia's %eveUs, 






Amo. Stay, what arc the ingredients to your fu<ut I 
: Per. Nought, but ftt'Mma te\ and crude Mcrcurie> fir, well prepar'd and 
dulcificd,with the jaw-bones of afow, burnr, beaten, andfearccd. 

Amo. I approve it. i Lay it on. 

Mer. Tie have your cliaine of pomander, firrah ; what's your price ? 

Pe r. Wec'Ie agree, Monfeur^ lie affiire you, it was both decoded and 
dryed, where no fun .came, and kept in an onyx cverfinceit wasball'd. 

Mer. Come, insert my mujltcbio, arid wee have. done. 

Amo. 'Tis good. 

Hold dill I pray you-, fir. 

Nay,'thc/«fw is exorbitant, fir. 

Dearh! doft thou burne mee, Harlot? 
I befeech you, fir; i} 

Beggcr, Varfct, P.oultrMl ft m 

E xcel lent, excellent i . . i . . . . 

An t a . Your French Bcat'c is 1 the moft natural! beateof the world. 
As o. O, that I had plaid at this weapon! . > 
Pha. Peace, now they corrre on;, the fecond part; 
Amo. Madame, your beauties, being fo attraftivc, I mufe. your are 
left thus alone. 

Phi. Better bee alone, fir- than ilWccorapanied. 

Amo. Nought can bcillj lady, that can-come neerc your goodnefie. 

Mer. Sweet Madame, on what part of you focver a man cafts his eye, 
he mecrs with perfection ; you are the lively image of Venus, through- 
out; all the Graces fmile in your checks-, your beau tie n6urifl\e$,tfs well 
as delights ; you have a tongue fteepr'in Jtany ; and a breath like a pan- 
thar : yourbreafts and forehead are whiter than goars l : mJJkc,OT; MajrhloC- 
fomes ; a cloud is not fo foft as your skinne. :■?■■■■■ - 

Hed. Well ftrook, Monfieur : Hec charges like a F renebma* indeed 
thick, and hotly. . , .1 

Mer. Your cheeks arc Cupid's baths^-whercin hee ufes tofteep 
hirafelfe in milkc, and NeRar : He do's light all his torches at your eyes, 
and inftruAs you how to (hoot, and wound, with their beames. Yet I love 
nothing, in you, more than your innocence ; you reta inefo; native a ilm- 
plic»'tie,fo unblam'da behaviour. Mee thinks, with fuch a love, Ifhould 
find no head, nor fooi of my plcaftjre: You arc the very fpiritofa Udy. 

Ana. Faireplay, Monfteurl you are toobbtonthequarrie. Give your 
competitor audience. 

Amo. Lady, how ftirring focver the Monjieurstongutis. hcewili lie 
■by your fide, more dull thau yoDttmudh. 

Ana. Agoodftroke; That month was excellently put over. 
Amo. You a re ft ire, lady— _ ; 

^Ri. You ofler foule, Stgnior y to clofe.Kcep your diftanqe :for all 
your Bravo rampant here, ; 

AMOi I fay you are feire, lady, letyour choice be fir, as vou are fa ire.- 

mer I lay, ladies doe never beleevc they are fa ire. rill -fornc foalebe- 

Phi- You play. tcx> rough, genrlcrhen^ 

Amo. Your Fre„ebifiedfook is your only foole,ladv- Idocyeeld to 
this honourable Monfuur, in a Il ciyill, and humane cpurrefi^ . 

V Mer, 

a Mrifi, 

A dur't. 


A f.»:., 

2 I 



Mer. Buuc 

*I^ft rourrlv h ir, and rare 


^ cbtrzt. 

tbe otherywa 




A N r Atainbk- 61* bim the pm Give him the f n, t . ^ 
jutli, againe, * as * 

?"*• ?r n in * ftould have Won better. 

r«i You fufer 'hem too long. 

S™ lie take off their edge infoi-l?;; . , 

Ana. GiveTo Amokphus. And, upon him a ft ain 

**Jk£? Thanks fairc deliverer, and my nonouraoie juages imaaia- 
h^.£}» Sfour todiy objea at this next weapon. 
PhI Moft covetingly -ready Am orphus. : 

H*D. Your itoroajfew is creft-falnc. 

Ana Soaremoft of 'hemonceayeere. •• 

A mo Y ou willfee, I (halt fltw give him the gentle Ar , prefcnrly, fa 
4 ting to (hift the colours, which are no* <Wd, with akcrauorf 
£?Mift&. At your laft weapon, fir. The f<r/eS Cioft. Set forward, * 
tend your approach , Monfitur. 

Mer. "fis yours, Signw. 

Amo. With your example; fir. 

MeK. Not I, fir. 

Amo. It is your right. ... 

Mer. By no poflible meaii 

Amo. You have the way. 

Mer. As I am noble—- 

Amo. As lamvertuous """ ■' 

Mer. Pardon mee, fir. 

Amo. I will die firft. j 

Mer, You arc a tyranue in couttefic. 

AMo . He is removd— -judgcs,beare witneiTe. 
Mer. What of that, fit ? 
Amo, Youarc remov'd, fir. 
Mer. Well. 

Amo. IchaUcngeyoujyouhavcrecciv'd the </<*-. Givcmethef^' 
Mer. Soft, fir. How, the dor* 

Amo. The common Miftris,you fee, is changed. 
Me*. Right, fir. b 

Amo . And you have ftill in your hat the former colours. a 

M e k . Y ou lye, fir, 1 have none : I have pull'd 'hem out. 1 W* 1 
play difcolout'd. 

Cri. The«/»r,the</oy,the^y,theAr,tbe<ftr /the palpable^' 
Ana. Heartof my blood, Amorphus, what ha you done ? > ,u 
a di%racc, upon us all,andat your laft weapon > 

Aso. lcould have done no more. 

iyntbids T(eve/ls. 

2 1^ 

Hfp. Ity heaven, it was mod unfortunate luck. 


Ana. Luck! by that candle, it was mccrc rafhncfTe, and over-fiuhf 
'.«. ouM -any nun have ventcred to play fo open, and forfakc his ward? Darn 
cue if he ha* not eternally dndoue himfelfc, in court; and difcountcnane'd 
us, were his nuine countcnancc,by it. 

Amo. l?orgi\cir, now. It was the foloeeiflne of my ftarrs. 

Cri. The ii>i»:i ky the hmfb, and the Banquet is ours. 

Mr. r . O, here s a bdy, Jeeles like a wench of the firft: yeere - y you would 
think hcrbarddid melt in your' touch ; and the bones of her fingers rannc 
out at length, when you prctt 'hem, they arc fo gently delicate.' He that 
had the grace to pfintakiiYe on thefe lips, (hould tafte wine, and rofe- 
leavcs: O, Sice kiues: as clofe as a cockle. Let's take 'hcmdowne,asdcep 
as our hearts, wench, till our very fbulcs mix. Adieu, Signior. Good 
faith, I Hull drink to you at (upper, fir. 

Ana. Stay, Moafitmn Who awards you the prize? 

O; [ . Why, his proper merit,) fir .- you fee hec has plaid dowuc your 
gkatid garb-Matter, here.' 

Ana. That's not in 'your Lngick to dctcrrhinc, fir :you are no cour- 
tier. This is none of your feven, or nine beggcrly /<?/>#«$, but acertaine 
myftcry above 'hem, wherein wee that have skill mull pronounce, and 
GOi fuch freih- men as you are. 

- Cri:- i Indeed, I muft declare my felfij to you no profeft courtling; nor 
to have any excellent ftrokc, ar your fubtile weapons : yet ifyoupleafe, 
I darcvcntcrahicwichy©u,or your fellow, fir da a on et, here. 

Ana. With me? 

Cri. Yes, fir. 

Ana. Hcarr,I dial never have fuch a fortune to (ave my (elfin a fellow 
again, and your two reputations, gcntlemen,,as in this. I'ie undertake him. 

Hed. Doe, and fwing him found ly, good Anaides. 

Ana. Let mcc alone, Tie play other manner of play, than has bcene 
fcenc,yet. I would the prize lay; ant. tl 

Mer. It (hall if you will, I forgive my right. 

Ana . Are youfo confident j> what's your weapon > 

Cri. At any, I, fir. 

Mer. The perfeEl clofa that's now the bed. 

Ana. Content, 1'lc pay your (cholaritic. Whooffers> 

Cri. Marry, that will I. I darc.givc youthatadvantacre too. 

Ana . You dare ? Well, Iook'c to your liberall skoncc? * 

Amo. Make your play ftill, upon the an(vver,fir. 

An a . Hold your peace, you arc a hobby-horfe. 

Aso. Sit by mee, Mafter. 

Mhr. Now Critus, ftrikc home. 

Cri. You fhall fecmeeundoctheafluVd fwaggerer with a trick, in- 
Itantly : 1 will play x\\ his owne play before him ; court the wench, in his 
garbe, in his phrafe, with his face 5 lca\c him not fo much asa looke, an 

eyc,aftalke,oranimperfecToaih,toexpre(rehimfelfebv, after mee. 
Mer. Excellent CriTes. 

ir? Have you confulred? 

\o be cour- 

. I doc lftVc 

V 2 ' you 

A c 'irfji. 




Cynthia's T^eyells^ 

A f outfit 

7 — JZT^u conceive t and though I am no Morfeur, (, . 
,. ou in fome ^"2 Vogick an5 ***** & good ^J 

^ ; ,M «nfo why it fl>ould be fo, or make it good it is fo, y K i m 
*T 'l™ is fo ndamalTutd-it is fo, and I and my fwotd (lull 

&*$?&" ?5V you rcafon fufficienr ' bo * ic can te 

^"^ha^.DB^youatcmoektsandfo wee ate- all 
«": Ho'? nU Signiot! What, fuffct yout felfe to becofcfl* 

y H,d This is pbinc confederacy, to diforacc us : Lets bee gone, and 

plot fome revenge. 
Amo. »*'* "»*» */«Jftww J»**, 

Cm. Nay ftay,mydeire^»^^;,Icandoeyou over too You that 

tell vourMiftris Hcrbcauticis all composd of theft 5 Her hairc ftolc 

from Apollo's goidy-locks; Her white and xd,hlhcs and Irofesljok 

out of Puradile 5 Her eyes, two darts, pluckt from the skie? Her nofe the 

snomon of ta* diall, that tells you how the clock of your heart goes: 

And for her other parts, as you cannot reckon 'hem, they are fo many; lb 

you cannot recount them,,tbey are To manifeft. Yours, if his owne, ui> 

fortunate Ho ydhn, in fttad of Hed on. 

Aso. Sifter, come away,. I cannot endure 'hem longer. 
Mer. Goc, Dors, and you, my Madame Coming-Rocks , 
Follow your (corned, and derided mates; 
Tell to your guilty brefts,what mccrcgilt blocks 
You arc, and how unworthy humane, ftates. 

Cri. Now, /acred god of wit, if you can make 
Thofe, whom our fporrs taxe in thefc apifh graces, 
Kifle (like the fighting fnakes) your.'pcacefull rodj 
Thefe times (hall canonize you for a god. 

Mer. Why,CRiTEs, think you any noble fpirir. 
Or any, worth the title of a man, 
Will be incenft,to fee tb' inchaunted vailcs 


Of felfe-conccit, and fervile flattcric 
(Wrapt in fo many foulds , by time, and cuftomc) 
Drawne from his wronged, and bewitched ieyes > 
Who fees not now their fhape, and nakedncfTe 
Is blinder than the fonne of eartb,thc mole • ' 
Crown d with no more humanitic, nor foulc ' 

Cri. Though they may fee it, yet the huge cftatc 
Phanfie, and forme, and fenfuall pri.le lttvc W*n 
WiD make them biufh for anger, not for ftg 
And turnc mewr* nakedncflc, to impudence ' . 
Humour is now the tcft,w c try things i n . 
All power is ,uu: Nought that delights s firrn c 
And, yet the zcale of every knowinl man, 
(Opprcft with hills of tyrannic, caft Sn vertue 
By the light phantfies of fooles, thus tranfp^rteJ) 


* I 


Canno 1 

Cynthia's n< RcveHs. 

%i 1 

Cannot but vent the «^//m of his fires,. 

T'enflame bed bofomes, with much worthier love 

Than of thefc outward and effeminate fhades.: 

That, thefc vaine joys, in which their wills confume 

Such powers of wit, and foule, as are of force 

To raifc their beings to rcternttie, 

May be converted on workes, fitting men. 

And, for the practice of a forced . looke, 

An antique geiture , or a fuftian phrafe, 

Studie the native frame of a true heart, 

An inward comelinefle of bountic, knowledge, 

And fpirir, that may conformc them, actually, . 

To Gods high figures^ which' they have in power : 

Which to neglect for a lelfc-loving neatnefle, 

Is facriledgc, of an unpardon'd grcarneflc. 

Mer. Then let the truth of thefe things itrengthen thee, 
In thy exempt, and only man-like courfe : 
Like it the more, the lent" it is refpected ; 
Though men faile, vertuc is by gods protected. 
See, here comes Arete;1'1c with-draw my felf. 

All v. Scene v. ■ 


Arete, C rites. * 

^ Rites, you mult provide (trait for a mafquc, 

^'Tis Cynthia's plcafure. Cri. How, bright Are 

Why, 'twere a labour more for Hercules. 

Better, and fooner durft 1 under-takc 

To make the different feafons of the yeere, 

The winds, or elements to fympathizc, 

Than their unmeafurable Canity 

Dance truly in a meafure. They agree ? 

What though all concord 's borne of contraries i 

So many follies will confiifion prote, 

And like a fort of jarring inftruments^ 

All out of tunc : becaufe (indeed) wee fee 

There is not that analogic, 'twixt difcords, 

As between things but mcerly opposite. 

Are. There is your error. For as Hermes wancf 
Charmcs the difordersoftumultudus;ghoIts, 
And as the ftrife of Chaos then did ceafc, 
When better light than Natures did arrive: I 
So, what could never init'felfc agree, 
Forgettcth the eccentrike propertie, 

\\n a r h V fi S hr > wrncs forth-with regular, 
Whole fecpter guides the flowing Ocean, 
And though it did nor, yet the moil: of them 
(Being cither courtiers, or not wholly rude) 
Rcfpeaof Majeftic, the place, and piefencc, 

V j 








mfclvcs, - 

V n they arc not *« cm ^j not fo 

Bur otfif/a Ukj ^J^Stic nothing elfe, 
1 ' incorporate thc^«^ itll0Ut LaWcs . 

Than like a ftatr % v rbutdifcafosi 

Or body ™^J K^ Sicy poorc, and wretched 

The one, tb^^^SSW. 

The other, for fU ^ ttaafclve5> 

, CR Vlbe Ur t - (nTnr/ r^re conceit) 
T.;: r °olr vere implo/d! for fuch as arc 
1 1 £ ?o bec in C y nt m as court, can feemc 
No e b » be -nfit to be in Cynthia's fports. 

A " That,CKiTES,is not purpofed without 
Particular knowledge of the Goddefle mind, 
Who holding t& intelligence, what follies 
Had crept into her palace) ftce rcfolvd, 
Of fports, and triumphs, under that pretext, 
To have them mufter in their pomp, and fulneile : 
That fo (hee might more ftritfly, and to root, 
EfTc&the refoimition free intends. 

Cri. 1 now conceive her heavenly dntt m all, 
And will apply my fpirits, to ferve her will. 
O thou, the very power, by which I am, 
And but for which, it were in vainc to bee, 
Chiefe next Diana, virgin, heavenly fa ire, 
Admired Arete (of them admir'd, 
Whofe foules are not enkindled by the fenfc) 
Difdainc not my chafte fire, but fcede the flame 
Devoted truely to thy gracious name. 

Are. Leave to fufpeft us .-Crites well (hall find, 
As we are now moftdcare, wee'le prove moft kind. 
Harke, I am call'd. Cri. 1 follow inftandy. 
Phcc'.us Apollo ; if with ancient rites , r ■> 
And due devotions, 1 have ever hung 
Elaborate Ptans, on thy golden (hrinc, 
Or fung thy triumphs in a loftic ftraine, 
fit for a theater of gods to heare ; - 
And thou, the other fonne of mighty Jove 
Cyhnian Mercury (f-veet Mai-a$ joy) 
If in the bufie tumults of the mind; 
My path thou ever hafte illumined, 
For which thine altars I have ofrpcrfum'd, 
And deckt thy ftatues with difcolour'd flavors : 
Now thrive invention in this glorious court 
That not of bountie only, but of right, 
Cynthia may grace, and gi ve it life by' fight. 




" !l 

1 \ 



* * 


Cynthia's 7{eyeth. 


Ail v. Scene v i. 

Hesperus, Cynthia, Arete, Time, 

Phronesis, Tha (ima. 



QUeenc, and Huntrcfle >chafte>and faire^ 
Now the Sunnc is laid to/leepe^ 
Seated, in thy fifoer chair e^ 

State in nonted manner keepe : 
H n s p E RU s intreats thy light y 
G oddejfe, excellently Aright . 

Earthy let not thy envious fbade 
Dare it felfe to interpofe 5 
C Y N T h 1 A*s foining or be was wade 
Heaven to dee, e^when day did clofe$ 

BleJJ'e us then With wifb eel fight 

GoddeJJe, excellently bright. 


Lay thy bow of pearle apart, 
And thy cryfla/JJbining quiver j 
Give unto the flying Hart 

Space to breathe \hbw [Jjort forcer : 
Thou that mak'fl a day of nighty 
GoddeJJe, excellently bright. 



When hath Diana, like an envious wretch 

That glitters only to his foothed felfe] 
Denying to the world, the precious- : ufe 
Of hoorded wealth, with-hcld her friendly aid ? 

Monthly, we fpend our ftill-rcpaired fhine , 
And not forbid our virgin-waxen torch 
Toburnc.and blaze, while nutriment doth laft : 
That once confum'd, out of Joves treafury 
Anew we rake, and flick irinourfpheare, 
To give the mutinous kind of wanting men, 
Their lookt-for light. Yet, what is their defert ? 
{c Bountie is wrong'd, interpreted as due ; 
" Mortals can challenge not a ray, by righr, 
cc Yet doe expect the whole of Cynthia's lighr. 
But if that Deities with drew their gifts, 
For humane follies, what could men Hefrrvc 
But death, and darkneffe? It behooves the high, 
For their owne fakes, to doe things worthily. 

Are. Moft true, moft fa cred Goddeffe • for the Heaven* 
Receive no good of all the good they "doc. 
Nor Jove, nor you, nor other heavenly powers; 
Arc fed with fumes, which doc from incenfe rife, 



21 + 

s %€velh. 

crificcs recking *&*$&& have, 
Y ct , for the care «u>cl yo« oi ^ fe } 

(Whole r«W SSlSftSw redolent : 
you >vcll «c pft&gS&fc, 

/Not"w s forwho more fcrvcntlydoth love 

mmortall honoured divine rcnowne ? 
But ) Riddic Cupid, Venus frantick fonne. 
Ycr Arete, if by this vailed light, § . 

VVce but difcovcr'd (what we not difccme; 
Any the leaft of imputations ftand 
Readie to fprinklc'our unfpotrcd fame, 
With note of lightnefle, trom thefe Revels neere: 
Not, for the Empire of the Univcrfc , ; 

Should night, or courr, this whatfocver (nine, 

Or grace of ours unhappily enjoy. ^ 

<v Place, and Occafion are two privie tbecves ; 

u And from poore innocent ladies often ftcalc 

" (The beft of things) an honourable name ; 
" To ftay with follies, or where faults may be, 
IC Infers a crime, although thepartie free. 

Are. How Cjmhian-fy ( that is, how worthily 
And like herfelfe ) the matchlefle Cynthia fpeakes! 
Infinite jcaloufies, infinite regards. 
Doe watch about the true virgin i tie: 
But P h oe b e lives from all, not only fault, 
But as from thought, fo from fufpicion free. 
"Thy prefence brotd-feales our delights for pure, 
** What's done in Cynthia's font, is done fecure. 

Cyn. That then foanfwcr'd (Scare ft Arete) 
What th! argument,or of what fort our fports 
Are like to be this night, I not demand. 
Nothing which dutic, and defuc to pleafe 
Bcares written in the forehead, comes arnilte. 
But unto whofe invention, mull we owe , 
The complement of this nights furniture? 

Are. Excellent GoddclTe,toa mans, whofc worth, 
( W ithout hyperbole,) I thus may praife • j 

One (at leaft) ftudious of deferving well 
And (tofpeak truth) indeed defervine well 
" Potentiall merit ftands for aftuall, 
u Where only opportunitie dotli want 
"Notwill, nor power : both which in hirn abound. 

One, whom the Muses and Minerva love! 



Cynthia's %evetts. 

For whom fhould they, than Crites, more cftccrac, 
Whom Phcbbus ( though not Fortune) holdcth dcarc ? 
And (which convinceth excellence in him,) 
A principall-ldmirer of your felfe. 

Even, through th' ungentle injuries df/itt, 

And difficulties, which doe venue choak. 

Thus much of him appeares. What other thing? 

Of farther note, doe lie unborne in him, 

Them 1 doei leave for cherimnfent to (hew, I 

And for a GoddelTe gracioufly to judge. 

Cyn. W'c have alrcadic judg'd him, Arete: 
Nor 'arc we ignorant, how noble minds 
Suffer too much through thofe iadignities, 
Which times, and vicious perfons call: on them: 
Our telfc have ever vowed ro cfteeme, 
( As vcrtuc, for it felfe, fo) fortune bafc* I 

Who's firft in worth, the fame be firft in place. 
Nor farther notice. ( Arete) we crave 
Than thine approvalls, fovcraigne warrantie: 
Lett be thy care, to make us knowne to him, 
« Cynthia fhall brighten, what the world made dimrrn. • 





* t 

All v. Scene vi L 

.'Mil n j 

The firft Masque. 

CupfD, like A rr K . R o < . 

CLcare pcarlc of heaven, and ) not to be farther arrtokious in f title*, 
Cynthia. The fame of this illuftrous night, among others, hath 
alio drawne thefe fourc fa ire virgins from the palace of their Queen 
Perfection ( a word, which makes no fufficicnt difference, twixt hers, and 
thine ) to vifit thy impcriall court : for fhee, their foveraigne, not finding 
where to dwell among men, before her returnc to heaven, advifed them 
wholy to confecrate thcmfelves to thy celeftiall fervice,as in whofe cleare 
fpirit ( the proper clement," and fphere of vertue ) they fhould behold not 
her alonc,(thcirtver horiduVd miftrefle) butthemfelyes (more truly them- 
felves) to live inthroniz'd. Herfelfe would have commended them unto 
thy favour more particularly, but that #ieC knowes no commendation is 
more availeablc with them, than that of proper vcrtue. Nevcrthelefle, 
flicwill'd them to prefent this cryftall mouAd, anoreof Monarchic, and 
fymbolc of Perfection, to thy mote Worthy deixie^ which, as here by iriee 
they moft humbly doe ; fo amongft the rarities thereof, that is the chieie, 
to mew whatfocver the world hath excellent, howfoevcr remote and Va- 
rious. But your irradiate judgement will foone difcover the iecrets ofdiis 
little cryftall world. Thcmfelves (to appeare more plainely) becaufe they 
know nothing more odious, than falfe pretexts, have chofen to exprcfle 

their fevcrall qualities, thus in fcverall colours. 
The firft, in citron colour, is naturall affection, which given us to procure 

°ur good,is fomctimc called Siorge, andasevery one is neercft to himlclfe, 






fo this h 

fo arc none 
ken minds 

~- rTTZ^M UlouMblc fttfakftt as ifcfe without W 

me without it . hc , I : Hcr tlcvicc 1S a perpendicular \S 

inthcpurfuitothoi^ t $e ^ Mo . AlN 

.1™ nrSoiMrc. *_ ... , oncought tornakc, foj- 

licnnipo i-r The wow, oi-. auu 

upon a Cube, or Wgir . ^^ a$ CVfi 0I 
that true njcafure of o ncs 
moft confpicuous fflttj ? aal-aia, dckcTabl 

--"r '^ ,npreenc ) is, dckAableand plcafantConyc,,; 

The fecond, in grct" 11 -* ... ,,_. ]„i:„k- on.l fnmprim/.n«..,, 

on 'whofe proper" 
it laughter: Hero! 

he fecond, j^gg* m0 „ c j kindly delight, and fonictirnc nou 

r\l?Xo^MO entertaineWemblks, and keep (bcicu ts , 
]iUg hrer. Hcromce, RinM^uch, 

gctherwuh iairc familiaritie^ ru*. ^ ^ ^ >j rtRI i. A p ELLn . A 



° • I 1 K«irr 

"ihc third in the difcolour'd mantle fpangled all over ,s Euphant,. 
J SS „,•«;*#, and imployd in honouring the court withth 
rich of he pureinvnetion. Her device, upon a Ptfrffo **«* 

mifc and glory of "it,doth cverincrcafe, as doth thy growing moone 

P TlS 

foule o° as an abrafe table, and is therefore called S im? Uatu, witk 

folds without pleights, without colour, without counterfeit : and(» 
fpeak plainly )PiK# it fclfc. Her device is no device. Thcwor 
dcr her silver shield, Omnis Abbst Fucus. Alluding to thy fpoikS 
fdfe, who art as farre from impuritic,as From mortaline. 
Myfelfc(celefti3ll Goddcfle) more fit for the court of Cynthia,^ 

welcome therefore to thy court, and the fitter to conduft this gutum 
who as they are thy profeficd votaries, and for that caufe adver&nnio 
Lwe, yet thee (pcrpetuall rirgin) they, both love, a»d vow to lot: 


Acl v. : Scene vin. 


Cynthia, Arete,'Crites. 

"M Ot without wonder, nor without delight, 

-*-^ Mine eyes have view'd( in contemplations depth ) 

This work of wit, divine and excellent: 

What (hape ? what fubftance ? or what unknownc power 

In virgins habite, crown'd with Lawrell leaves, 

And Olive branches woven in between, 

On fca-girt rocks, like to a Goddeflc fhincs i 

O font ! 6 fcee ! 6 all caelcftiall furc, 

And more than mortall 1 Arete, behold 

Another Cynthia, and another Queen, 

Whofe gloric ( like a hiking pUnilune) 

Seemes ignorant of what it is to wane. 

Nor under heaven an objea could be found 

More fit to plcafe. Let Crites make approach. 

Bountie forbids to pall our thanks with ftay, 

Cynthia's %cr>el\s> 

Or to deferre our favour, after view: 

< 4 The time of grace is, when the caufe is new. 

ARE. Loe,hcre the man (celeftiallDEUA) 
VVho (like a circle bounded in it felfe) 
Contains as much,asmanmfulnefiemay. 
Loe, here the man, who not of ufuall earth, 
But of that nobler, and more precious mould, 
Which Phoebus felfe doth temper, is compos'd ; 
And, who (though all were wanting to reward ) 
Yer, to himfelrc he would not wanting be : 
Thy favours gaine is his ambitions moft, 
And labours' be ft ; who ( h amble in his height ) 
Srands fixed, filent in thy glorious fighr. 

Cyn. : With no lefle pleafure, than -we have beheld 
This precious tryftall, work of rareft v^it, 
Our eye doth r'eadc thee (now enfiil'd) our Crites : 
•Whom learning, vcrtue, and out favour lair, 
fexemprcth from the glofcmie multitude* 

" With common eye the fupremc fhould not fee. 

l u . 





i / 



How much too narrow for fo high a gtace, . 

Thine (five therein) the moft- unworthy Crites 

Doth find himfdfe! for ever <hine thy fame; 

«Thine honours ever, as thy beauties doe * 

In mce they muft, my dark worlds chicfeft lights, 

By whofe propitious bcames my powers are rais'd 

To hope (orrie part of thofe moft loftie points, 

Which blefied Arete hathplcas'dtonamtf, 

As markes, to which my Yidevours ftcps fliouldberid: 

Mine, as begun at thee, in thee muft end. 

AB v. Scene ix. 

.5 1 X U ' ' ' , 

• The c feco,nd Mafque. 

- ■ 



/ ■ 

m r 

M^RcuRi'T, as a Pa or. 


Clftcr of Phoebus, to whofe bright orbeweowe, that we nbt complain 
. u of his abfence j Thefc foure brcthre 1 n (for they are brethren, and fortnes 

vermes, upon which the whole frame of the Cow; doth move, fo arc thefc 
the foure cardinall properties, without which, the body oUomplement 
jnovcth'hor. With thefe foure filver javelins (which they beare in their 
hands) thcyfupport in Princes Courts the ftatc of the prefence, as by of- 
hccihcyare obliged; which, though here they mayfeemc fuperfluous, 
yet, for honours fake, they thus prcfumc tovilkthce, having alfo beene 


22 7 



halhUerW "&»*£' androbe of purple, empaled , i:t 

? C S e s ;X> entertains his mind.with an harmdelfc, k 

&** w v Jictic ' AU the ob jeds of his fenfes are fumptuous, hi* 
not incurious varicuc JWD ^ ^^ ? 

f - m *■ § &id£i« MewSs (and what not > ) without vamtie, and fa 

^TjS^A ' and thercforc ( T/ With n Ut "^ >> 

f 11 , Iwht tobe of f& ***•". UiiSjM is, D i v ae Opt,. 
£E ?j£^ »S«* *y g**4h ^ which thou fo refe* 

] %£b£ blum-colour'd fute, is, Eutoi mo s, as duly £» 
ainfo h rs as never negleainahimfelfe; commonly known by tfie 
tfhodaudlcith: to courts, anlcourtly alTembhes,agucft moftaccep* 
blc His^^/MS,DiVAE ViragiKi. To expreflc thy bardtecwq, 
in chafe of favage bcafts, which harbour in woodland wildcrncfle. 

The fourth, in watchet tinfell, is the kind, and truly benefice Euco- 
los. Who imparteth not without refpeft, but yet without difocultic; 
and hath the happinelTe to make every kindnene fecme double, by to 
timely, and freely bellowing thereof. He is the chiefe of them, who dj 
the vulgar) are faid to bcof goodnature. HisSjmboU is, D I v ae Mir 
x i M ae. An adjunct to fignific thy great neffe, which in heaven, can, 
and hell, is formidable. 

Tfx Mifqutt 
j#w, aud tbty 


AB v. Scene x. 

CupiD) Mercurie. 

IS not that A m o r p h u s, the' traveller ? . , ? 

Me r . As though it were not 1 doe you not fee how his legs a re ifl » 

Cu p. H edo n, thy matter is next. 

Mer, What, will Cupid turoe NomencUtor, and cry them ? . 
Cup. No faith,but 1 have a Comadie toward, that would not-b**' 
for a kingdomc. ' 

Mer, In good time, for Cupid will prove the Comadie. 
Cup. Mercury, I am ftudying how to match them. 
Mer. How to mif-match them were harder. . l.:- 

Cup . They are the Nymphs mutt doe it ; 1 {hall fport my felfe w i" 1 tr ' ' 
paifions above mcafurc. ^ 

Mer. Thofe Nymfbs would be tam'd a little, indeed, but I b& lW 

haft not arrowes for the purpofe. 

4 cu-' 

Cynthia* %cvell 



Cup. 3 yes,hcrebcofall forts, flights, rovers, and butt-lhafrs. But 
I can wound with a brandi(h,and never draw bow for the matter. 

Mr. R . I cannot but bcleeve it, my invifiblc archer, and yet me thinkes 
you are tedious. 

Cup. It behoves me to be fomewhat circumfpea, Mercury ; for if 

Cynthia heare the twang of my bow, fhee'le goe necre to whip mee 

with the firing : therefore, to prevent thar, I thus difcharg;c abrandifh 

upon ' 'it makes no matter which of the couples. Phantaste, 
and AMoRPHUs,atyou. 

Mer. Will the fluking of a (haft Itrike'hem into fuch a fever of 

Cup. As well as the wincke of an eye : but I pray thee, hinder mee 
not with thy prattle. 

Mer. Jove forbid I hinder thee. Marry, all that I fca re, is Cynthias 
prcfencc ; which, with the cold of her chaftitie, cafteth fuch an antifc- 
rifafis about Replace, that no heat of thine will -any with the Patient. 

Cup. h will rarry the rather, for the aat/perijlaft will keepe it in. 

Mer. I long to fee the experiment. 

Cup. Why,ihcir marrow boilesalready,or they are all turn'd eunuchs , 

Mer. Nay, and Y. bee fo, I'lc give over (peaking, and bee a fpe&p 
tor onely. 

Amo. Cynthia (by mybrightfoule)isarightex]vii'ire,andfplen- 
didious lady; yet Amorphus, 1 think, hath feenc m jrfe fafhiolis, I in 
fure more countries: bur whether I have, or nor, whether need we gizeon 
Cynthia, that have our felfe to admire? 

Pha. Ojcxcllcnr Cynthia! yet if Ph ant* ste fate where fhec 
do's, and had fuch i rireon her head (forattire can doe mjch) I lay no 
more —bur god defies arc goddefles, and Ph an taste is as lliee is.' I 
would the Rcvclls were done once, I might goe to my fc'ioole of glafle, 
againe,and lcarne to Joe my felfe right after all rhis ruffli ig. 

M6r. How now, Cupid? here's a wonderfull change with your 
brandifh ! doe you not heare, how they dote ? 

Cup. What prodigie is this ? no word of love ? no mention? no 
motion ? 

Mer. Not a word, my little Ignis fatue, not a word. 

Cup. Are my darts inchantcd ? Is their vigour gone ? is their 

Mer. What? Cupid turn'd jealous of hirafclfe? ha,ha,ha. 

Cup. Laughs Mercury? 

Mer. Is Cupid angry? 

Cup. Hath he not caufe, when hispurpofe is fo deluded? 

Mer. A rare Comadie, it fhall be intitled, Cupids. 

Cup, Doc not fcornc us, Hermes. 

Mer. Choler, and Cupid, are rwo fiery things; I fcorne "hem not. 
But I fee that come to paflfe, which I prcfagfd in the beginning. 

Cup. You cannot tell: perhaps the phyfick will not work CoCooae 
uponfome,as upon others. It may be, the reft are not Co refty. 

Mer. Ex ungueyou kno v the old adage,*.* thefe,fo ire the rsnuinler. 

Cup. fie trie: this is the fame fhifc, with which I wounded Av 


X Mir; 

The frfipnip 


Tie tl 

Cyntbias Rcvclh. 

, . „ unni I iLx)ur, Cupid : there were ccrtain^kT 

Meu. I, but let ^S<fin(itbat time) by thefe #&** 

Me.'. Nay, taint nor, Cupid. 

?1 UP - P^Tnv^olous to take the name of Antero, ^ 

,; I n „ not what charrae or inchantment lies in the word: yoj 

Murl ^ or, coupon any device, input preferment, but w^ 

S o b o other than a fimplc uagc Y ™ ^XT™" (t0 
£ C peV^ ) Cuimd , are futed ( it {hould fecme) to the naturc f 

him you pcrfonate. 

Cup. Indignitie not to be borne. 

Mer. Nay rather, an attempt to have becne Forborne. 

Cup. How might I revenge my felfe on this intuiting Mercum* 
there's Crites 5 Ius minion, he has nbt tafted of this water. It 1Mb: 
fo. Is Crites turnd dotard on himfclfe too? 

Mer. That follows nor, becaufe the venomeot your (hafts cum; 

pierce him, Cupid. . :- 

Cup. As though there were one Antidote for thefe ; and anotte 

Mer. As though there were not ! or as if one effect might not arifc 
of divers caufes? What fay you to Cynthia, Arete, Phrqnesij, 

Time', and others there ? 
Cup. They are divine. 
Mer. And Crites afpires to be fo. 
Cup. But that (hall not ferve him. 
Mer. 'Tis like to doe it , at this time. But Cupid is grownc too 

covetous, that will not lpare one of a multitude. 

Cup. One is more than a multitude. 

Mer. Aretes favour makes any one fhot-proofe againft thee, O 
pjd. I pray thee, light hony-bee, remember thou art not now in Apo* 
nis garden, but in Cynthi as prefence, where thornes lye in garrilM 
about the rofes. Soft, Cynthia fpeakes. 






Cynthia, Arete, Crites, Masqu&rs. 

T Adies, and gallants of our Court, to end, 
And give a timely period to our fports,' 
Let us conclude them with declining night- 
Our Empire is but of the darker halfc. * 
And if you judge it any recompence 
For your fairc paincs, t have eamd Dianas thanks • 
Diana grants them : and beftowes their crowne ' 

To gratine your acceptable zeale. 
For you are they, that not (as lome have done) 
Doe cenfure us, as too feverc and fowre, 
But as ( more rightly) gracious to the good - 
Althouh we not deny, unto the proud, ' 


Cynthias Ttyells. 

Or the prophane, perhaps indeed auftere : 
Forfo Action, by prefuming farrc, 
Did (to our griefe) incurre a fatall doomej 
And fo, fwolne Niobe (comparing more 
Than he prefum'd ) was trophaecd into Itone. 
But arc we therefore judged too extreme ? 
Seemes it no crime, ro enter facred bowers ; 
And hallowed places, with impure afpedt, 
Moft lewdly ro pollute? Seemes it no crime, 
To brave a ditto ? Let mortals learne 
To make religion of offending heaven ; 
And not at all to cenfure powers divine. 
To men, this argument fhould ftand for firme 3 
K A goddefie did ir, therefore it was good : 
< { We arc not cruell, nor delight in blood. 
But what have ferious repetitions 
To doe with Revels, and the fports of Court ? 
We not intend to fowre your lare delights 
With harfh cxpoflulation. Let't fufhec, 
That we take notice, and can take revenge 
Of thefe calumnious, and lewd blafphcmies. 
For we are no lefle Cynthia, than we were, 
Nor is our power (but as our felfe) the fame: 
Though we have now put on no tyre of fhine. 
But mortall eyes undaz'led may endure. 

* Yeares are beneath the fpheres: and time makes tveake 
" Things under heaven, not powers which governe heaven. 
And though our felfe be, in our felfe, fecurr, 

Yet let not mortals challenge to themfelves 

Immunitie from thence. Loe, this is all : 

" Honour hath ftore of fplccne, but wanteth gall. 

Once more, we caft the number of our thanks 

On your ta'ne toyle, which here let take an end. 

And that we notmiftake yourfeverall worths, 

Nor you our favour, from your felvcs remove 

What makes you not your felvcs, thofc clouds of mafqtfe: 

* Particular paines, particular thanks doe aske. 
How ! let me view you .' ha ? Arc we contcran'd ? 
Is there fo little awe of our difdaine, % 
That any ( under truft of their difguife ) 
Should mixe themfelves with others of the Court ? 
And (without forehead) boldly prcfle fo rarre, 
As farther none ? How apt is lenitie 
To be abufde ? fevcriric ro be loth'd ? 
And ycr 9 how much more doth the feeming face 
Of neighbour-vertues, and their borrowed names, 
Addc of lewd boldnefte, to loofe vanities ? 
Who would have thought that Philautia durft 
Or have ufurped noble St o rge s name ? 
w Vrith that theft have ventrcd,on our eyes? 

X a 



Tbej un%tfi{ux 







m^M have W-^ (baAi ^ 

Ana men i ^ p" muft lance thefc forcSj 

Take off our vaile, that (haiowes may depart 

And fliapes appeare, beloved Arete- 

Another fece of things prefents it fdfc, 

Than did of late: What! featherd Cupid maskd? 

And rnask'd like Anteros ? And, ftay ! more ftrange. 

Deare Mercury, our brother like a page, 

To countenance the ambufh of the Boy ? 

Nor endeth our difcovery as vet : 

Gelaia, like a Nymph, that but cre-whi!e 

(In male attire) did ferve An aides ? 

Cupid came hither to finde (port and game, 

Who, heretofore hath beene too converfanc 

Among our traine 5 but never felt revenge : 

And Mercury bare Cupid company. 

Cupid, we muft confefle this time of mirth 

(Proclaim'd by us) gave opportunitie, 

To thy attempts, although no privileage 5 

Tempt us no farther, we cannot indure 

Thy prefence longer: vani(h hence, away. 

You, Mercury, we muft intreat to ftay, 

And beare what we determine of the reft; 

For in this plot, we well perceive your hand. 

But ( for we meane not a cenforian taske, 

And yet to lance thefe ulcers growne fb ripe ) 

Deare Areti, and Crites, to you two 

Wee give the charge •, impofc what paines you pleafe: 

la incurable cut off, the reft re forme, 

Remembrine ever what we fir ft decreed, 

Since Revels were proclaim d, let now none bleed 

Are. How well Diana can diftinguifh times ? 
And fort her cenfurcs? keeping to her fclfe 
1 ne doornc or gods, leaving the reft to us ? 
Come cite them, Crites firft, and then proceed. 

•n, 1" :"5 Phila «tia (for (hee was the firft J 
Then light Gelaia, in Aglaias name, >? 

Thirdly , Phantaste, and Mori a next 
Maine follies all, and of the female crew • 

Amorphus, or Eucosmos counterfeit ' 
Voluptuous Hedon tanc for Eupathes 
Brazen Anaides, and Asotus lafk ' 
With his two pages, Morus and Pros ait P < 

Andthon fh* rf,««l1-. —:ii " ur ^°SAlTES; 

■1 : 




Cynthias Ticvells. 



Impoftors all, and mile deformities— • 
Are. Nay, forward, for I delegate my power 

And will that at thy mercy they doe ftand, 

Whom they fo oft fo plainly fcorn'd before. 

tC 'Tis vcrtue which they want, and wanting it, 

«'• Honour no garment to their backes can fit. 

Then, Crites, pra&ife thy difcretion. 

Cri. Adored Cynthia, and bright Arete, 

Another might fecme fitter for this taskc, 

Than Crites farre, but that you judge not fo : 

For I (not to appeare vindicative, 

Or mindfull of contempts, which I contcmn'd 

As done of impotence) muft be remifie, 

Who, as I was the author, in fome fort, 

To work their knowledge into Cynthias fight, 

So fliould be much feverer to revenge 

Th' indignitie, hence ilTuing to her name. 

But there's not one of thefe, who areunpain'd, 

Or by thcmfelves unpunifhed : for vice 

Is like a furic to the vicious minde, 

And turnes delight it felfe to punifhmenr. j 

But we muft forward to defigne their doornc 

You are offenders, that muft be confeft, 

Doe you confclTe it? All. We doc. 
Cri. And,that you merit (liarp correction? All. Yes, 
Cri. Then we (rcferving unto Delia's grace, 

Her farther plcafure, and to Arete 

What Delia granteth) thus doe fenrence you. 

That from this place ( for penance knowne of ally 

Since you have drunk lb deeply of felfe-Love) 

You (two and two ) finging a palinode* 

March to your feverall homes by Niores ftone, 

And offer up two teares apiece thereon; 

That it may change the name, as you muft change, 

And of a ftone be called weeping CroJJe: 

Becaufe it ftandeth cro(Te of Cynthias way, 
One of whole names is facred Trivia. 
And, after penance th'us perforuad, you pahe 
In like fet order, not as Mid As did, ' 
To wafh his gold off into Tagus ftrcame $ 
But to the well of knowledge, Helicon ; 
Where purged of your prefent maladies, 
( Which are not few, nor (lender ) you become 
Such as you faine would fecme : and then returne, 
Offring your fervice to great Cynthia. 
This is your fentence, if the goddefle pleafe > 
io ratifie it with her high confent : 
fhe fcopc of wife mirch unto fruit is bent. 

vi/?- Y ?' We doe a PP r ove thy cenfure, belov'd Crites* 
which Mercury, thy true propitious friend, 

X 3 

( l 







Will undertake to te^™* 
And for this ^.*££ I«* name, 
Perform* by «^ B "£ h f uc h due grace, 
We vow to guerdon itwm thy ° phce . 

princes, w , . tlie h cac j 

«"*fm5. b?S r e™ le, Fttcrne out 

« Tb "Sons, and regard of 

« A venous C(.»rt a world to vettue dams. 


M . From Spanifh &rug% French faces, fmirks, irps , *«f <|,£ 


<?/«* humours. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

P h a . From fecrct friends, fleet fervants, loves doves, and [aeb f M 
flique humours. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

A m o.' From flatting of armes Jap-dragons, be*hbs,whijfes,and ilfa 
faaggering humours. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us.' 

Pha. From waving fannes, coy glances, glickes, cringes, andalfi 
fimpring humours. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

A M o. From making love by atturney, courting of puppets, and paying 
new acquaintance. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

Pha. From perfumd dogs , munkeyes , [parrowes, dildo's, andparacbiffl, 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

Am o . From wearing bracelets of bain, fooo4ies, gloves, pasters, andn 
with poeftes. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

Pha: From pargetting, painting, flicking glazing; , and renewing # 
rrvtld faces, 6 ' * 6 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

Am o. From f quiring to tilt-jtrds , play-boufes , pageants > ami dl* 
P'Mtque places. J J ' r * 

Cynthia* %cye/'ls< 



of either, 

From entertaining one gallant to gull another, and making foolc? 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

A M o. From belying Ladies favours, Noble-mens countenance, coyning 
counterfeit imployments, vain-glorious taking to them other mens Services, and 
all fclic-loving humours. 

Chorus. Good Mercury defend us. 

So NG. 

XTOrr each one drie his weeping eyes, 

•L^* And to the well of Knowledge bajle$ 

where purged of your maladies^ 

You may of fweeter waters tafte : 
And^ with refined voyce, report 
The grace of Cynthia, and her Court* 


"1 Entles, bc't knowne to you, fincc I went in 

'I am turn'd rimer ; and doc thus begin: 
The Author (jealous, how yourfenfe doth take 
His travailes) hath enjoyncd me to make 
Some fhort, and ceremonious Epilogue; 
But if I yet know what, I am a rogue : 
He tyes me to fuch lawes, as quite diftracl: 
My thoughts; and would a yeare of time exact. 
I neither muft be faint, remifle, nor forry, 
Sowre, fcrious, confident, nor peremptory : 
But betwixt thefe. Let's fee ; to lay the blame 
Upon the Children? action, that were lame. 
To crave your favour, with a begging knee, 
Were to diftruft the Writers facultic. 
To promifc better at the next we bring, 
Prorogues difgrace, commends not any thing. 
Stifly to ftand on this, and proudly approve 
The Play, might taxe the maker of felfe-Love. 
He oncly fpeak, what I have heard him fay; 
*JA — ) 't if good, and if you lik't,you may^ 





The E 

\ * 

N D, 


Ecce rabet quidtm, pallet, ftupct, ofcttat, odit. 
Hoc volo : nunc nobis carmina nofln placent. 





His Arraignemcnt. 

dA Comic all Satyr t^. 

Firft Adled intheycare itfoiBy. the then 

Children of Queene Elizabeths 


With the allowance oft he Matter of R 


The Author B./. 

Et mibi dt nullo famn ruhrc placet. 



Printed by Robert YouncI 

~U. DQ XL 








% *iV 



•T r. 








M r * Richard Martin. 

I r, A thankefull man owes a cour* 
tefie ever : the un thankefull, but when 
hee needs it. To make mine own e 

l^e appear e, an\ 

efeales 1 am fyowne, Ijendyou 
tbispeece of what may Ifae of mine ; 

fuslice of this I\i 


delight of your goodneffe ; which is to fee that pr other 
youpreferyd: and pofleritie to owe the reading of that- 





x . 

Your true lotcr, 

Bbn; loMso'Ai 


The Perfons of the Play. 

Augustus C*saR. 
^ eC ocnas. 



Pus. Aristus. 
Pub. Ovid. 
V i ro i l. 


Tu c c a. 

Crisp inus. 
De. Fanniuj. 



h i s t jl x o • 

L i c t o r s. 

Jul I A 




VI A Y D E S .' 



The principall Comoedians were, 


Sal. P a v y. >\W ill. Ojtler. 

Tho. Day. ATgo.MARToN. 

•V! O I 



tiAfttr the fecond founding* 


N V I E. 

Ight, I falute thee, but with wounded nerves f 
Wishing thy goldeh fplendor, pitchy dark- 

ncflc. !'"' : ' ' 

■ _ L 


.... ""•""'J 

this is it, ■ -, 

That our funke eyes have wak't for , all this 

Here will be fubjeft for my fhakes, and me. 
I Cling to my rtecke, and wri/h, my loVirig 
** wormes, ° 

And caftyou round, in fofr, and amorous foulds, 

Till I doc bid, uncurlc : Then break your knots, 

Shoot out your fclves at length, as your forc't ftings 

Would hide tbcmfelvcs within his malic't fides, 

To whom I fhall apply you. Stay ! the fhine 

Of this aflcmbly here offends my fight, 

lie darken that firft:, and out-face their grace. 

Wonder not, if I ftare : thefe fiftecne weeks 

(So long as fincc the plot was but an Embrion) 

Have I , with burning lights, mixt vigilant thoughts. 

In cxpe&ation of this hated Play : 

To which (atlaft) I am arriv'd as Prologue. 

Nor would I , you fhould looke for other looks-, 

Gefturc, or complement from mce, than what 

flunfefted bulke of Envie can afford i 

For I am riltc here with a covetous hO|>e, 

To blaft your pleafures, and deftroy your fpOrtS, 

With wreftings, comments, applications, 

yy-hkc fuggeftionsjprivie whiftic rings, 

j^nd thoufand fuch promooting' Heights asthefr, 

M.lrl-* U~.. T ...Mil* •_ M 'i • ■?. t, ■ 

Art fag in ibt 
v>dl 0! ibt 

Markc , ho.v I will begin : The Scene is, ha ! 

K o M E 



rr — rTTwiTcyc^rlngs, and your balls 

Drop into cart* 5 ™c bc e arc croft> 

1 am prevented ;, all nw o v ^^ 

C beck'r, and abated 5 fi^t * bufnc . 

Howes forth at a £ %P° s > fc OME ? q my vcxt foule, 

How might I To** rn nQ Poct . 

Arc there no P *J c rs n • ^ fe » forked cs 

SSSTfc iSSS tbeir hearts in gall ? 
^tt&ld helpc mcc , they could wreft, 

With fenfclelTe glolTcs, and allufions. 

Now if you be good devils, fly me nor. 

You know what dcare, and ample faculties 

I have indovvd you with r 1 lc lend you mort* 

Here, take my makes among you, come, and eat , 

And while the fqucczd juice flowes in your black jawes , 

Helpc me to damne the Auchour. Spit it forth 

Upon his, and (hew your .tuftie teeth 

At every word, or accent : or clfe cboole 

bur of my lon 2 cft vipers, to facie downc 

In your decpe "throats; and let the heads come forth 

At your ranck mouthes ; that he may fee you armd 

Wich triple malice, to hi lie, ftin* and teare 

His work, and him ; to forge, and then declame , 

1 raducc, corrupt, apply, enforce, fuggeft : , 

O, tbefe are gifts wherein your foules are bleft. 

What ? doe you hide your felvcs ? will none appearc ? 

None anfwer ? what, doth this calme troupe affright y< 

Nay, then I doedefpaire : downc, finke again. 

This rravaile is all loft with my dead hopes. 
If in fuchbofomes, fpight have left to dwell, 
Envie is not on earth, nor fcarfc in hell. 

The third founding. 

CTay, Monftcr, ere thou finke, thus on thy head 
^Set wc our bolder foor ; with which we tread 
Thy malice into earth: So fpight fhould die, 
Dcfpis d and fcorn'd by noble induftry. 
Jf any mufe why I falute the ftagc, 
An armed Prologue- know/tis a dangerous age : 
W herein, who writes, had need prcfent his Scenes 
Forty-fold proofc againft the conjuring meanes 
Of bafc derractors, and illiterate apes, 
That fill up roomes in fairc and formall fhapes. 
Gainft theie, have we put on this forc't defence": 






Vhcrcof the allegory and hid fenfc 
Is, that a well erccled confidence • 
Can fright their pride, and laugh their Folly hence. • 
Here now, put cafe our Authour fhould, once more, 
Sweare that his Play were good; he doth implore, 
You would not argue him of arrogance: 
How ere that common fpawne of ignorance, 
Our frie of Writers, may Dellifne liis fame,- 
And give his a&ion that adulterate name. 
Such full-blowne vanity he more doth loath, 
Than bale dejection : There's a meanc 'twixt both. 
Which with a conftant firmenefle he purfues, 
As one, thatknovves the ftrength of his ownc Afufe, 
And this he hopes all free foules will allow; 
Others, that take it with a rugged brow, 
Their moods he rather pities',' than envies : 
His mind it is above their injuries. - 

■ ■ 



I * 


I * 




Ovid. Lus cus. 

— r 


THen, when this bodie falls in funeral! fie, 
My name [ijaU lfae t ami my be} part afvire. 
It fhall goe lb. 
Lusc. Young mafter, raafter Ovid, doe you hcarc ? gods a mcc! a- 
way with your Jongs , and fonnets • and on with your gownc and cap, 
quickly : here, here, your father will bee a man of this roomc prefently 
Come, nay, nay nay, nay, be briefe. Thefe verfes too, a poyfoi! 1 on 'hem' 
I cannot abide hem, they make mee readie to -cart, by the banks of He- 
licon .Nay looke, what a rafcally untoward thing this P<w>y is- I could 
teare hem now. ' 

Ovid. Givcmec,how neerc's my father? 

LU ir C \?; < ; art / man: geta Iaw " bo °kc in your hand, 1 will not anfwer 
you clfe. Why fo : now there s feme formally in you. By J o v e and 
three or foure of the gods more, I am right of mine old mailers humour 
tor that ; this villanous Poetry will undoe you, by the welkin* 

Ovid. Whar,haft thou buskins on, Luscus^ that thou fwear ft fo tra- 
gically, and high ? 

m Lus c. No, but 1 have boots on, fir, and fo has your father too by this 
time : for he call'd for*hem,ere I came from the JoJeiug. 
Ovid. Why ? was he no readier ?! 

Lusc. Ono ; and there was the mad skcld ring cjptaiuc, with the vel- 
vet arraes, ready to lay hold on him as he cohies downc « lice that prefles 
every man he meets, with an oath, to lend him tnoncv, and cries ; ( Thou 
mult do t, old boy, as thou art a man, a man of worfninO ' 

Ovid. Who? Pantilius Tucca? , .« 
, *> ^ ec: aru * * mer little mafter Lui'us. the £oing thi- 

Y a Ovid. 




Ovid. Life. r. 
Awo.Elc. iy. 

Ovid. Nay, an ne v come# 

reade over my */«", b , ct °v» ut'Jl you doc ? why, young matter, y 0u 

Lusc< i£S£iSS8^ acfpmtc ? ? 

n0 Ov"D. Wbf ail ^/!f u U '^ Hc'leave youtoyour Po«/m// f lncics 
Lusc. God be witli you, , i 

andf-r/i. He «* ^'f^^J . r m gladth'art gone : 
°r* l^reareOiaU better judge 

3^ And \alTfi my verfe , ^Mtf <f " * H" 

Or /^ (unlike the line from whence I fjrrung) . 

wars dubie honours I purfue not young / 

Or that I fiudie not the tedious Laves- 

And profiitute my voyce in every caufei 

Thy (cope is mortall ; mine permit fame : 

which through the world frail ever cbattnt my name. 

Homer mil live,whiHfi Tenedos fiands, and Ide, 

Or, to the fea, fleet SlMOis doth fltde : 

Andfo frail Hesiod too, Me vines do bears, 

Or croocked fickles crop the ripened eare. 

Callimachus,**"^ in invention (on, 

Shall pill heefung, fince bee in art doth flow. 

No lop lb Ml come to Sophocles proud vat ne. 

With funne, and moon, Aratus frail remaine. 

whiff {laves be falfe,fat her shard, and bawdes be whorijb, 

whit ft harlots flatter, frail Menander flour ijb . ] J 

Ennius, though rude, and Accius high -r card frame, 

A frefr applaufe in every age frail gaine. 

O/Varro's name,wbat eare frail not be toldi 

Of Jason's Argo and the fleece of gold? 

Then frail Lucretius loftic numbers die, 
when earth, and fea* in fire and flames frail frie, 

Tytirus, Tillage, Snee frail be read, 
whilfi Rome of til the con quer'd world is head. 
Till Cupid's fires be out, and bis bore broken. 
Thy verfes (neate Tibullus ) frail be fpoken. 
Our Gallus frail be knownefrom eaji to tpejl : 
So /krf//LycoRis,»&0w he now loves left. 
Tkefuffering plough-frare, or the flint may weare: 
But heavenly Poefic no death can fear}, 
Kings frail give place to fc, and kingly frowet, 
The banks ore which gold-bearing Tagus flow* . 
Kneeh hindesto trajh : me let bright Phcbbus /*" 
mtb cups full florin* from the Muses mil. 
Frofi-feaung myrtle frail impale my heacL 
And of fad lovers l'le be often read. 
* Envy, tbt living, not the dead, doth btU: 


"For after death all men receive their right. 
Then, when this body fals in funerall fire, 
My name frail live, and my befi part afpire. 




Scene n 


Ovid Senior, Ovid fun tor , L u s c u s , 
Tucca, Lupus, Pyrgus. 

Our name (hall live indeed, fir ; you fay true : but how infamouf- 
ly, how fcorn'd and contcmn'd in rhe eyes and cares of the be ft and 
graved Romans, that you think not on: you never fo much as drcamcof 
rhat. Arc thefe the fruits of all my travaile and cxpences ? is this the 
feppe and aime of thy ftudies ? are thefe the hope full courfes , wherewith 
1 have fo long flatterd my expedition from thee ? Verfes ? Pottriei 0\'\ d 
whom I thought to fee the pleader, become Ovid the play-maker ? 
Ovid /«. No fir. 

Ovid/*. Ycs,fir. I hcareof a Tragwdie of yours comming forth for the 
common players there, call'd Medea. By my houfhould-gods, if I come 
to the a&ingof it, Tie adde OneTragick part,more than is yet expe&ed,to 
it:beleeve me when I promife ir. What ? fhall I have my fonnea fhger 
now? an cnghle for players ? a gull? a rook ? a (hot-clog? to make fuppers, 
and bee laught at ? Publius,I will fet thee on the funerall pile, firft. 

Ovid ju. Sir, I befeech you to have patience. 

Lusc. Nay, this tistohave your eares dariim'd up to good counfell. 
Ididaugure all this to him before-hand, without poring intoanoccs 
panch for the matter ,and yet he would not be fcrupulous. 

Tuc. How now, good man flave ? what, r*jr/py ponleyi all rival Is raf- 
call ? why my mafterof worfhip, dolt hcarc ? Are thefe thy bed projects ? 
is this thydefignes and thy difcipline, to fuffcr knaves to bee compe- 
titors with commanders and gentlemen ? aw wee paralells, rafcall pare 
wee paralells £ . 

Ovwfe. Sirrah,goe get my horfes ready. You'U ftill be prating. 

Tuc. Doc, you perpctuall ftinkard, doe, goe • talke to tapfters and 
o(llers,you Have, they arc i' your element, goe: here bee the Empcrours 
captaines, you raggamuffin rafcall ; and not your camra<ks, ) 

Lup. Indeed, Marcus Ovid, thefe players are an idle generation, 
and doe much harme in a ftatc, corrupt yon'g geiitric very much, 1 know 
it: I have not beenca Tribune thus long, and obferv'd nothing-: bclidcs, 
they will rob us, us,thataremagiftrares,bf ourrefpc&.hringus^on their 
l ages, and make us ridiculous to the plebeians; fhev will p'lav vou, or me, 
the wifeft men they can come by ftill . only ro brings in ajntempt with 
the vulgar, and make us cheap. - ' 

Tuc. Th'arr in the right, my venerable cropfhin, tliey will indceJ: 
the tongue of the Oracle never twang'd truer. Your courtier cannot kifle 
nismiflns flippers, mquicr, for "hem: nor your white innocent gallant 
pawnehis revelling fute, to make his punk a fnpper. Anhoneft decayed 
Commancler, cannot skelder, cheat, nor be feene ih a b.nvd/c houfe,but lie 
nail be Itraitmone of their worme-wood CbmcWeS; They arc grownc 
licentious, the rogues j libertines, flat libertines. They forget theyare 

Y a /the 

<Poetafe r > 

__. - — , . .uevare^/^^thcrc, there they arctrickr,^ 

j the i»-w,thcnifcaMhcya« othcr /W ^ lwi ^ «, 

and their pedigrees 5 they nc . ^ dfCj yct this alone, the very r& 
Ovid . /*. Mcc thwks, thcc f rQm commcrcc - th ' *• 

dingofthepubUck *^g f tbSr aSions. But this bettayes J? 
and give thee d^ftc eno^ pro ficiencie in the L*». » 

ftudent you ate ^ this ar ^ ^ ^ ^ abufc yQu mo ^ 

Ovid ./«■ ] «? wic h D thcfc untrue reports. 

1 ^^iKi^SS" -d where is, ? that's the *, 

^OvS- Cokmhlius Callus bonded k to read 

™id>. Cornelius Callus? There s another gallant, too, U 
drunk of the fame poyfon : and Tibullus, and Propertius. But 
thefe arc gentlemen of meanes, and revenevvs i now. Thou art ayonp 
brother, and haft nothing, but thy bare exhibition .-which I proteft 
(lull be bare indeed, if thou forfake not thefe unprofitable by-courfcj 
and thattimcly too. Name meaprofeft^,thathis Poimete everaf. 
fordhimfo much as a competencies, your god off ww there (whomali 
of you admire and reverence fo much) Homer, he whole worm-eaten 
ftatue muft not bee fpew'd againft, but with hallowed lips, and groveling 
adoration, what was hee? what was hee ? 

Tucc. Marry, Tie tell thee, old Iwaggcrcr; He was a poore, dIidJ, 
riming rafcall, that liv'd obfeurely up and downe in booths, and tap- 
houfes,and fcarcc ever made a good meale in his fleep, the whorfoa 

hungrie begger. 

Ovid. p. He fines well : Nay, I know this nettles you now, but an- 
fiver me ; Is't not true ? vou'le tell me his name (hall live ; and that (no* 
being dead) his vvorkes nave cternis'd him, and made him divine. Bn 
could this divinitie feed him, while he liv'd? could his name feafthiro- 
Tucc . Or purchafe him a Senators revenue > could it ? 
Ovid .J*. I, or give him place in the common-wealth? worfhip* 01 
attendants? makchimbe carried in his litter? 
Tucc. Thou fpcakeft fentences, old Bias. 
Lupu. All this the Law will doe, young fir, if you'le follow it; 
Ovid./*. If he be minc,heefhall follow and obfervc, what 1 will $ 
him to, or, Iprofeffe here openly, and utterly to difclaimehim. 

Ovid. 7 "«. Sir, let me crave you will, forgoe thefe moodes; 
I will be any thing, or ftudieany thing : 
lie prove the unfaftuond body of the Law 
Pure elegance,and make her rugged' ft ftraines 
• Runne fmoorhly, as Propertius Elegies 
Ovid./*. Propertius Elegies? good'' 
Lupu. Nay you take him too quickly, Marcus. . w 

■ ?"?& Why, he cannot r P cak,hecannotthink out of ^^ 
is bewicht with it. 


Lup . Come, doc not rhif-prize him. 

Ovid./*. Mif-prize 1 1 , marry, I would have him ufc fome fuch wotcIs 
now : They have fomc touch, fome rafte of the law. Hee fhould make 
hirnfclfea ftile out ofthcfe,and let his Propertius Elegies goe by. 

Lup. Indeed, yong Puglius, hee that will now hit the marke,muft 

fhoot through the Law-^wc have no other p/iwwf raignes,and in that fpheare, 

you may fit and ling with Angels. Why, the Law makes a man happy, 

without rcfpe&ing any othcr merit : a fimplc fchollcr, ot none at all may 
be a lawyer. 

Tuc. He tells thee true, my noble Neophyte • my little Grammaticafler, 
he do's : It fhall never put thee to thy Mathematiqaes, Metapbyfiques, pbi- 
lofopbie, and I know not what fuppos'd fumciencies; If thou canft but 
have the patience to plod enough, talk, and make noife enough, be impu- 
dent enough, and 'tis enough. fc 

Lup. Three books will furniiTi you. 

Tuc. And the lefle arte, the better: Befides, when it mall be in the 
power of thy chevrjll confeience, to doe right, or wrong , at thy pleafurc 
my pretty Alcibiades. ' 

Lup. I, and to have better men than himfelfc, by many thoufand de- 
grees, to obfervc him, and ftand bare. 

Tuc. True, and he to carry himfefc proud, andftatcly, and have the 
liw on his fide for r, old boy. 

Ovid./*. Well, the day grows old, gentlemen , and I muft leave 
you. Publius , if thou wilt hold my favour, abandon thefe idle fruitleiTc 
(Indies that fo bewitch thcc. Send Janus home his back-face againe, and 
look omy for.vard to the Law: Intend that. I will allow rhce, what fhall 
fore rhce in the rankc of gentlemen, and maintaine thy focietic with the 
beft : and undcrrhefeconaitions,I Ieavethce. My bleffings light upon thee, 
if thou refpea them: ifnor, mine eyes may drop for thcc, but thine o.voe 
heart will akc for it fclre s and fo farewell. Whar, arc my horfes come ? 

Lus. Yes, fit, they arc at the gate without. 

OviD.fe. That's well. Asinius Lupus, a word. Captaine I fliall" 
take my leave of you ? • r ' 

Tuc. No, my little old boy, difpatch with Cothurnus there • i'lr 
attend thcc, I tc 

Lus . To borrow fomc ten drachmes, I know his prOic<St. 
Ovid./,?. Sir, you fhallmakc me beholding to you. Now Captaine 
Tucca, what fay you? v-apumic 

k J"> cu W &', 7 hat ^ ouId \ % ? or what can I fay, my Borneo the 
order ■ Should fay, thou art rich ? or that thou archonourable ? or wi£> 

£SK 7* a Ti Cd r ° r hbcfaII? Wh y? rhou art a11 &&, and thou 
knowefhr (my noble Lucullus) thou knoweft it: come, be not Ea- 
rned of thy vermes, oldftumpe. Honour's a good brooch to ^weareina 

S* h0u be S ra <T c th ™ by them, as well as he is by his 
oe. s .< How now, my carrier, wh at newes ? 

Tuc Cont 0> do a , S ^ VV r khin f ° r f^ ^ < h " ^Ifc houre. 

Lus. Yes, againft the ftate of my maftcrs purfc. 




ftrtSiCSSiaaS you to fotbcarc bimtill the ne Xt ^ 

his moyles. almoft a talentj anc j j, cc thinks to bcare itairiy 

■Tu-'imSes does he? Sirrah, you, nut- cracker, goe your vvaies t0 

P* hlS v^nd Kll him 1 muft ha money, I : I cannot eat (tones and tuift, 
him againc,and »U ni ers A$kc h aQ . hc ^ 

fi r . VV ^r 5 vvill he ^em ne ^n Y jcrkin , would he ? Away, fetter, 

£ ? C ct%"m to --bier : thisW boy (ball fuoply now. I J 

no troub e Mm, 1 cannot be importunate I : I cannot be impudent. 
PyT Alas, fir , no : you are the moft maidenly bluftung creature 

Tuc^Doi' thouheare, my ^f* *&*•«**& 
Thou art not to learnc the humours and tricks of that old bald cheater, 
Time: thou badft not this chaine for nothing. Men of worth have their 
tbpHtrfr " well as other creatures : and they doe fee monfters ^one- 
times: they doe, they doc, brave boy. 
Py r Better cheap than hc (hall fee you, I warrant him. 
Tuc Thou muft let me have fix, fix drachraes, I mcane, old bo 
thou (halt doe it : 1 tell thee, oldboy, thou (halt, and in private too, doll 
thou fee' Goe, walk off: there, there. Six is the famine. Thy (odds 
a gallant fpark, and muft not be put out of a fudden : come hither, U- 
limachus , thy father tells me thou art too pocticall, boy; thou mult 
not be fo, thou muft leave them, yong novice, thou muft; they are a ion 
ofpooreftarv'drafcalls; that arc ever wrapt up in foule linncnj andctf 
boaft of nothing but a leanevifage, peering out of a fcamc-rent futcjw 
very embltmts or beggerie. No, doft hearc? turne Lawyer, ThoulM 
be my Solicitor. 'Tis right, old boy, ift ? 

Ovid. /*. You werebeft tell it,Captainc. .. 

Tuc . No : fare thou well mine honeft horfe-min, and thou old ds- 
yet. Pray thec Romane i when thou commeft to towne, fee me at myloj | 
ing, vifit me fomctimes : thou (bait be welcome, oldboy. V° c n0ttJ 7 
me, good fwaggcrer. Jove keepc thy chaine from pawning, goe "J 
wayes, if thou lack money, lie lend thec fome : Tie leave thec cowj 
horfe, now. Adieu. 

Ovid. ft. Farewell, good Captaine. 

Tuc Boy,you canhavebuthalfcafbarenow,boy. cVM . 

Ovid./*. Tis a ftrangc boldneffe, that accompanies this fc^ 
Come. s l 

Ovid./». He give attendance on you, to your horfe, fir plcafcy^ 

OviD./r No: keep your chambcr,and fall to your (todies* ^ 
the gods of Romcbtettc thee. 

That Ibpuld have followed fure, had I bcene he. 
O facrcd poejic, thou fpirit of Romane Arts, 


2 + 9 

The foule of fcience, and the queen of fbules ; 

What prophane violence, almoft facriledge, 

Hath here becne offered thy divinities i 

That thine owne guiltlefle povertie llaould arme 

Prodigious ignorance to wound thee thus! 

For thence, is all their force of argument 

Drawne forth againft thec ; or from the abule 

Of rhy great powers in adult'ratc braines : 

When, would men learnc but to diftinguitTi fpirits, 

And fct true difference 'twixt thofe jaded wits 

That runnc a broken pafe for common hire, 

And the high raptures of a happy Mufo 

Borne on the wings of her immortal! thought, 

That kicks at earth with a difdainfull heele, 

And bcatcs at heaven gates with her bright hooves ; 

They would not then with fuch di (forced faces, 

And defp'rate cenfures ftab at poefie. 

They would admire bright knowledge and their minds 

Should ne're defcend on fo unworthy objeds, 

As gold, or titles : they would dread farre more, 

To be thought ignoranr, than be knownc poorc. 

a The time was once, when wit drown'd wealth : but now, 

"Your only barbarifme is t' have wit, and want. 

"No matter now in vcrtue who excellSj 

11 Hc, that hath coinc, hath all perfection clfe. 







Tibullus, Ovid. 

Vid? Ovid. Who's there? Come in. Tib. Good morrow, 

Ovid. Good morrow (deare Tibullus ) welcome : fit downe. 
Tib. Not 1. What, fo hard at it? Let's fee, what's here ? ' 
Nay, 1 will fee it— Ovid. Pr'y thee away— 
Tib. Ift hrice in field^ a man vantjuifb his foe, 
'Tis after in bis choyce toferve, or no. 

How now Ovid ! Law-cafes in verfe ? 

Ovid. In troth, 1 know not : they runne from my pen 
Unwittingly, if they be verfe. What's the newes abroad ? 

Ti b . Off with this gowne, I come to have thee walk. 

Ovid. No, good Tibullus, I'm not now in cafe, 
Pray' let me alone. Ti b . How ? not in cafe ! 
Slight thou'rt in too much cafe, by all this Law. 

Ovid. Troth, if I live, I will new dreffe the Law, 
In fpnghtly poefies habillamcnts. 

Tib. The hell thou wilt. What, turne Law into verfe? 
Thy rather has fchool'd thee, I fee. Here, rcade that fame. 
I here s fubjeft for you : and if I miftake nor, 
A Supcrfefas to your melancholy. 




heart, I have forgot : my paflion fo m Q f. 

T u !sthemc°^ 

Cckftiall accents, bow yoi > 

SE. ffi B A««w J nl - 1A ' tbc PHncefrc JUL,A - 

■TiVu." V vhcrc? 
Ovid. Why, at 

^ n r C l7cfavc ycurpaines: it is at Albius houfc, 

TiVu I,bcclcbc therctoo, andmy PlauTiA. 

Ovid. And why not your Delia? 

Tim. Yes, and your Corona. 

Ovid. True, but my. facet Tibui lus, keep hat kcrct . i 

I would not, for all Rome, it mould be thought, 
I vaijc bright Julia underneath thar name : 
Julia the gemme, and Jewell of my Tou le 
That takes her honours from the golden skie , 
As beautie doth all luftre, from her eye. 
The ayrc refpircs the pure Eh van fwects, 
Jn which fliee breathes : and .from her looks delcena 
The glories of the fummcr. Heaven (hec is, 
Prays'd in her felfe above all praife : and hee, 
Which jiearcs her fpeak, would fivearc the tune-full Orbes 
Turn'd in his Zenith only. Tibu. Publius, thou'k lofe thy felfe. 

Ovid. O, ih no labyrinth , can I fafelicr erre, 
Than when I lofe my felfe in prayfing her. 
Hence La» t and welcome, Mu\t% j though not rich, 
Yet are you pleafing : let's bee reconcil'd, 
And now made one. Henceforth , I promife faith , 
And all my ferious homes ro fpend with you : 
With you, whofc mufick ftrikcth on my heart, 
And with bewitching tones ftealcs forth my fpirir, 
In Julia's name ; faire Julia : Julia's love 
Shall bee a law, and ihat fwect law Tie ftudie, 

The law, and art of facred Julia's love : 

All other objects will but abjefts" prove. 
Tibu. Come, we flnll have thee as paflionate, as PR.oPERTius,aoofr 
O .id. O, how does my Sextus > 

Tibu. Fauh, full of forrow, for his Cynthia's death. . 
Ovid. What, ftill ? 

Tibu Still, and Hill more, his griefes doe grow upon him, 
• As doe his homes. Never did I know 


An undemanding fpiric fo take to heart 
The common worke of Fate. Ovid. O my turn 
Let us not blame him, for, againft fuch chances, 
The heameft Ante of venue is not proofc. 

^ <cc ; read conftancie,and fortitude. 



Toother foulcs .-but had our felves bcenc ftrook 
With the tikciPknet) had our loves (like his) 
Bcene ravifht from us, by injurious death, 
And in the heigh , and heat of our beft dayes, 
|C would have crackt our (innews, fhrunk our veincs, 
And made our very hcart-ftrings jarre, like his. 
Come, let s goe take him forth , and prove, if mirth 
Or company will but abate his paffion. 
Tib. Content, and I implore the gods, it may. 



I I 

Scene i. 

Albius, C r ispi nu s,'C hl'qe, May de s, 

. Cytheris. 

M After C rispinus, you are welcome :Pray\ ufe a ftoolc, fir. Your 
coufin Cytheris will come downe prcfently. Wearcfo bufic 
for the receiving of thefc courtiers here, that 1 can fcarce be a mi- 
nute with my felf, for thinking of them: Pray you fir, fir. Pray you fir, fir. 

Cris. I am very well, fir. Ne'returft mee,but you are mod delicately 
feated here, full of fwect delight andblandilTi'mcnt ! an excellent ayrc, an 

excellent ayre ! . 

Albi. l,fir, risa prettie ayre.Thefc courtiers runne in my mind mil 5 
Imuftlookeout:for Jupiter's fake, Jit, fir. Orplcafeyou wa Ike into die 
garden? There's a garden on the back-fide. 

Cris. Iaramoftftrenuoufly wcll*l thank you, fir. 

Albi. Much good doe you, fir. 

Chlo. Come,bring thofe perfumes forward a litrle,and fttew fomero- 
fes, and violets hcrej Fic,here be rooms favour the moftpitrifulJyranke! 
that ever 1 felt : I cry the gods mercy, my husband's in the wind of us . 

Albi. Why, this is good, excellent, excellent : well fa id, my fivect 
Chloe. Trimme up your houfe raoft obfcquioully. 

Chlo. For Vulcan's fake, breathe fomewhere. clfc;: in troth you 
overcome our perfumes exceedingly, you are too predominant. 

Albi. Hearc but my opinion, fweet wife. 

Chlo. A pinnc for your pinnion. In finceritie, if you bee thusful- 
fome to me in every thing, Vic bee divore'd; Gods my bodie ? you know 
what you were, before 1 married you ; I was a gentlewoman borne, I ; I 
loft all my friends to be a citizens wife ; becaufe I heard indecd>they kept 
their wives as fine as ladies ; and that wee might rule our husbands, like 
ladies j and doe what wee lifted: doc you think I would have married 


Albi. I acknowledge, fwect wife, fhec fpeaks the beft of any woman 
in Italy ^ and moves as might ily : which makes me, I had rather flic fliould 
make bumpes on my head, as big as my two fingers, than l would offend 
her. But fwect wife — - 

Chlo. Yet againe ? Is't not grace enough for you ,that I call younul- 

band,andyou call me wife: but you muft ftill be poking me, againlt my 

will, to things ? . 

to Aim. 


At rr But you know, mki here arc the gtcatcft ladyes, and^ 
Albi. iwt )oun > cntertaind in ourhoufe no* KJl 

""^ftSSS aid you ever heare a man talkc fo idlcl^ 

[1 vow >»»* iw •■**•■•» ? 

rnrerraine ladies, and gentle-folks better than I ? 

Alei Omy fwectwife, upbraid me not with that : "Gainc fa VOlln 
fivcctlyftom any thing ; He that refpetts to get, muft relim all como,,,. 
dines alike ; and admit no difference betwixt oade and frank incenfc.Q, 
the moft precious balfamum and a tar-barrell. 

Chlo. Marry fough : You fell fnufters too, if you be remembred,^ 
I pray you let me buy them out of your hand ; for I tell you true, I tak e 
it highly in fnuffe, to learne how to entertaine gentlefolks, of you, 8 
thefe°yeeres ifaith. Alas man; there was not a gentleman came to yoj 
houfc i' your tothcr wives time, I hope ? nor a lady ? nor mufick > nor 
mafqucs? Nor you, nor your houfc were fo much as fpokenof, before! 
disbaft my fclfe, from my hood and my fartingalI,to thefebumrowlesand 
your whale-bone-bodics. 

Albi. Look here, my fwcet wife; I am mum, my dcare mummu, 
my balfamum, my fperma cetc, and my very cittie of— — fhee has the 
moft beft, true, fceminine wit in Rome ! 

Cms. I have heard fo, fir 5 .and doe moft vehemently defire to parti- 
cipare the knowledge of her faire features. 

Albi. Ah, peace; you mall heare more anon : be not fcenc ycr, I 
pray you ; not yet : Obfcrve. 

Chl o . Give husbands the head a little more, and they'll be nothing 
but head fhorrly ; what's he there ? 
Ma yd. i. I know not forfooth. 
Mayd . 2. Who would you fpeak with fir ? 
C k i s . I would fpeak with my cou fin C y t h e R i s . 
Mayd. 2 Hee is one forfooth would fpeake with his coufin Cv- 

T HF.Ris. r 

Chlo. Is (hee your coufin, fir ? 

Cm; \? - tmtb> f ? rf °° th ' fol fault of a better. 
^hlo. Shec is a gentlewoman ? 

Ckis. Orelfe (hee (houldnotbe mv confin r ,(T 
Chlo . Are you a ? entleman borne > °' l Ac ^ 

^'SSS & nght of m y a ™«> Mi(uifl ? 

crying in Chief,., and&h Sw C j C 5 >reft in myarmes, (» F * 
*«8«0 , '' " a b,oud,e T °e, between three Thon* 

' !< " ^"^"'^^fi^o-yonareagennemanbo^ 


can find in my heart to welcome you : for I am a gentlewoman borne too • 
and will bearc my head high enough, though 'twere my fortune to marry a 

C r 1. No doubt Of that, fwect feature, your carriage fticws it in any 
mans eye, that is carried upon you with judgement. 

Alb. Dearc wife, bee not angry. 

Chlo. God's my paffion ! 

Alb. Heare me but one thing ; let not your maids let culliions in 
the parlor windowes; nor in the dining- chamber windowes; nor upon 
ftoo!s,in cither of thcm,; for 'tis tavcrne-1 ike; but lay them 
one upon another, in fome out-roome,or corner of the dining- chamber. 

Ch lo . Goe, goe, meddle with your bed-chamber only, or father with 
your bed in your chamber, only ; or rather with your wife in your bed only; 
or on my faith, I'lc not be pleas'd with you only. 

Alb. Looke here, my dcare wife,entertain that gentleman kindly, I 
pr'ythec; — ' — -mum. 

Chlo. Goe, I need your inftfuctioos indeed; anger mce no more, 
I advife you. Ciri-fin, quotha! fhec-s a wife gentlewoman y faith, will 
marry her felfc to the finnc of the Citie. 

Alb. But this time, and no more (by heaven) wife : hang no pictures 
in the hall, nor in the dining-chamber,in any cafejbut in the gallery on- 
ly, for 'tis not courtly clfe,o'my word, wife, 

Chlo. 'S precious, never have done i 

Alb. Wife. 

Chlo. Doe ,1 not beare a rcafbnable corrigible hand over him, 
Crispin us? 

C R 1 . By this hand, ladie, you hold a mod fwcet hand over him. 

Alb. And then for the.grcat gilt andyrons ? , 

Chlo. Againc! would the andyrons were in your great gut's for me. 

Alb. I doe vanifti, wife. 

Chlo. How fhall I doe, Ma iter Crispinus ? here will be all the bra- 
veft ladies in court prefcntly,to fee your cofin Cytheris: 6 the gods/ 
how might I behave my felfc now, as to entertain them moft courtly ? 

Cm. Marry, ladie, if you will erjterta'in them moft courtly, yoU muft 
doe thus: as foone as ever your maid, or your man brings you word they 
arc come; you muft fay (A pox on 'hem, what doe. they here ?) Andyeii 
when they come, fpeak them as faire, and give them the kindeft welcome 
in words, that can be* 

Chlo. Is that the fafTiion of courtiers, Crispinus ? 

C r 1. I allure you, iris, ladie, I have obferv'd it. 

Chlo . For your pox, fir, it is eaftly hit on ; but, 'tis not fo cafie to 
fpeak faire after, me thinks ? 

A lb. O wife, the coaches are come, on my word, a number of coa- 
ches, and courtiers. 

Cii l o . A pox on them : what doe they here ? 

A 1. b . Hovy now wife ! would'ft thou not have 'hem come? 

Cm lo. Come ? come^ you are a foolc, you : He knowes not the trick 
on'r. Call Cytheris, I pray you: and good Maftcr Crispinus, 
you can obfcrve, you fay ; let me intreat you for all the ladies behaviours, 
jewels, jefts, and attires, that-you marking as well as I, wefnay" put both 

7 our 




%Li ".tofi/n rlSvS 5°hc, and confers of them. ^ 

*tffi®K» SS*fc 1- mc alone co Ob^v, ^ 

Good morrow couftn CI ti • wh - ? aTCtllcyconr , ? 

L B * . ,c^ I Iulia the Empcrours" daughter, and tffclafeft 

peroursrdaugnicr, ana uiciaaidPr,,, 


M ii. Scene n. 

G^llus, Ovid, TiBULtiis, Properties, Herm* 


Chloe, Albius, Crispinus. 


HEalth to the lovely Chlo e : you muft pardon me, Miftrefle, that I 
prefene this fcire gentlewoman. , Tr , ar „ , 

Cyth. I pardon,andpraifeyoaforit, fir- and!. 
lence, receive her beauties info your knowledge and favour. 

]u l. Cytheris, mee hath favour , and behaviour,' chat conrni 
_.muchofme:andfweetCHLOE,know I doe exceedingly loveye: 
that I will approve in any grace my father the Emperbur may fli'cttryfo, 

Is this your husband? . 

Alb. For fault of a better, if it pleafeyourhighnxtfleV 

Chlo. Gods my life ! how he (Viames mee ! 

Cyth. Not a whit, Chloe, they all think you politick, andwittif; 
wife women choofe not husbands for the eye, merit, tfr birth, but wcaK 

Ovid. Sir, we all come to gfatulate, for chc.good report of you. 
. Tib. And would be glad to defcrve your love, fir . 

Alb. My wife will anfwer you all, gentlemen: Tie come to ft 
againe prefently. 


.Plau. Youhavcchofenyouamoftfaitecdmpanion herc,CY*RK> 
and a very feire houfe. 

J f 

Cyth. To both which, you and all my friends are'verv welcoW 
Plauti a. ' ■ . • 

Chlo. With all my heart, I afore your lad ifh in 
Plau. Thanks, fweet miftrefTc Chloe. - P ' 

Jul. You muft needs come to Court, ladie vfairh ird thereto ft* 
urwclcome mall be as great to us.- ' ?to'7^ffi?fr 

Ovid. Shee will well defcrve ir, Madame. If ec CVC n irihcrloo> : ' 
m ttne,andgcnerall worchineffe. . . Cj C ' 

.Tib. Iliave not feene a more, cerraine; character of an titty 



-Alb. Wife. 

Chlo. 0, they doe fo 


ii . 


latter now 



commend me here., the Courtiers ! tihfy 

A' s 


A i b. For the banquet, fwectwifc. 

Chlo. Yes ; and I muft needs come to Court, and bee welcome the 
Princcfle (ayes. 5 

Gal. O v i d, and T i b u l r. u s, you may be bold to welcome your 
Miftreflcs here. . ( 

Ovid. Wee find it fo, fir. 

Tib. And thank C orn' el ius Gal l us. 

Ovid. Nay, my fwect S i; x t u s, in faith thou art not fociablc. 

; Prop. Infaith, I am not, Publius ; nor I cannot. 
Sick minds, are like fick men that burne with fevers, 
Who when they drinkc, plcafc but a prefene taftc, 
And after bcare a more impatient fit. . 
Pray, let me leave you ^'1 otfend you all, 
Andmyfelfe moft. Gal. Stay,l*weet PropeRtius. 

Tib. You yeeld too much unto your gricfes, and fate, 

Which never hurts,but vvhenwe Ciy it. hurts us. 

Prop. O peace, Tibu.i lu.s; your Philofophie 
Lends you too rough a hand to fearch my wounds. 
Speak they of gricfes, that know to figh and grieve ; 
The free and unconftrained fpirit fccles 
No weight of my oppreffion. Ovid. Worthy Roman I 
Me thinks I taftc his niifery ; and could 
Sit downc, and chide at his malignant ftars. 

Jul. Mee thinks I love h im, that he loves fo trufv. 

Cyth. This is the perfeeTft love, lives after death. ' 

Gal. Such is the conftant ground of vcrrue ftill. 

Plau. Ir puts on an infeparable face. . 

Chlo. Have you mark't everything, Crispinus ? 

C r r. Every thing, I warrant you. 

Chlo . What gentlemen arc theft ? doc you know them ? 

C R i. I, they are .Pom,: ladie. : • 

Chlo. Poets 3 they did not talk of me fincc I went,did they ? 

C R I . O yes, and extoll'd your perfc&ions to the heavens. 

Chlo. Now in finccritie, they be the fincft kind of men, that ever I 
knew: Poets i Could not one get the'Empcrourto make my husband a 
Poet, think you? 

C r i. No, ladie, 'tis love, and beailtie make Poets : and mice you like 

Poets fo well, your love and beauties fhall make mee a Poet. . 

Chlo. What, fhall they ? and fuch a onea's'thefc ? 

C R i. I, and a better than thefe i I would be fprry elfc. 

Chlo. And fhall your lookes change? and your baire change ? and 
all like thefc > D . 

C R i. Why, a man may be a Poet, and yet not change his haire, lady. 

Chlo. Well, wee ("hall fee vour cunning: yet if you can change your 
hairc,I pray, doc. .. ! 3 

Alb. Ladies, and lord ings, there's a flight banquet (byes within for 
you, pleafe you draw neere, and a ceo ft ir. 

J u l. We thank you, good Ai.nias r-butwhen fliall we fee thoft 
excellent jewels you are commended to have? 

Alb. At your ladifhips fervicc. I got that fpcech bv feeing a PI.:v 

Z 2 ' Uft 

* 5? 

__-- — --r^7T^7fhme£W cc now: I fee, tis good to collet f<w 

&i£j^&& morc tlym l havc donC) "* l «S 

be ^miliarwirh i Cgt** f ? h Ucft ^ ^ 

H E l\ A lit dc melancfol^ let mc alone, pr y thee. 

r> Tc that bard-favour d gentleman a Po^ too-, Cytheris, 
• Cyth'.No; this is HERMOGENEs,as humorous asa ?o« though; 

he is a Muf l( ' an ' r 

Chlo. A Mufciml then he can fing. 

Cyth. That he can excellently ; did you never heare him ? 

Chlo. O no: will he be intrcated, think you ? 

Cyth. 1 know not. Friend, Miftrcffe Chloe would fainc hwit 
Hermogenes fing: are- you interefted in him ? 

G a l. No doubt, his owne humanitie will command him fo fane, 
to the fatisfaction of fo fairc a beauty ; but rather than faile, wee'le allbe 
fuiters to him. 

Her. 'Cannot fing. 

Gal. Pry thee, Hermogenes. 

Her. 'Cannot fing. 

Gal. For honour of this gentlcwoman,to whofe houfc, I knowt: 
maift be ever welcome. 

Chlo. That he fhall in truth, fir, if he can fing. 

Ovid. What's that? 

Gal. This gentlewoman is wooing Hermogenes for a fong. 

Ovid. A fong? come,hefhail not deny her. Hermogenes? 

Her. 'Cannot fing. 

Gal. No, the ladies muftdoe it, hce ftayes but to have their thub 
acknowledg'd as a debt to his cunning. 

Jul. That (hall not want : out felfc will be the firft fluM promifeto 
pay him more than thanks, upon a favour fo worthily vouchfaf 't. 

Her. Thank you, Madame,but 'will not fing. 

Tib. Tut,the only way to win him, is to abftain from intreating hi 11 

Cri . Doc you love finging, la die ? 

Chlo.O, paflingly. 

Cri. Intreat the ladies, to intreat me to fing then, I bcfccchyo u - 

Chlo. I befeech your Grace, intreat this gentleman to fing- 

Jul. That we will Chloe 5 can he fing excellently ? 
Chlo. I think fo, Madame: for he intrcated me, to intreat you,toi ; ' 
treat bim to fing. 

Cri. Heaven, and earth ! would you tell that ? 

Jul. Good fir, let's intreat you to ufe your voice. 

Cri. Alas, Madame, I cannot in truth. 

Pla. The gentleman ismodeft : I warrant you, he fings excellent' 

Ovid. HERMooENEs,clcere your throat: I f cc by him, here's a V 
tleman will worthily challenge you. 

Cri s. Not I, fir, Tic challenge no man. ^ 

Tib. That's your modeftic, fir : but wee out of an affurancc of r 
cxccllcncic, challengehim in yourbchalfe. ' n ... 

^* ^^^* ^^^ — — - - — ^^fc 


Cris. I thank you, gentlemen, lie doc my beft. 

Herm. Let that beft be good, fir, you were beft. 

Gall. 0,this contention is excellent. What is't you fing, fir ? 

CRIS. If * freely may difcover,&c. Sir,I'Ie.fing that. 

Ovid. One of your owne compofitions, Hermogenes. Hcoffers 
you vantage enough. . 

Cris. Nay truly, gentlemen, Tic challenge no man— : I can finer 
but one ftarfe of the dittic neither. D 

Gall. 1 he better :Hermogenes himfelfc will be intrcated to 
fing the other. 


IF I freely can discover, 
frhat would vleafemee in my lover : 

I would have her f aire, and tvittie 

Savouring more of Court ^ than Citie - 

A little proud } but full of pi tie-. 

Light, and humor om in her toying. 

Oft building hopes, andfoone deflioying • 

Long, but fweet in the enjoying. 
Neither too eafte, nor too hard: 
All extremes I would have bard. 

Gall. Bclccve me, fir, you fing mod excellently. 

Ovid. If there were a praife above excellence, the gentlemin highly 
deferves it. 

Herm. Sir, all this doth not yet make me envie you : fori know I 
fing better than you. 

Tib. Attend Hermogenes, now. 


. 2. 

Shee ffjouldbe a/lowed her pajTions, 
So they were but us'd as f anions • 

S ometimes froward, and then frowning. 

Sometimes fickiflj and then frowning, 

Every ft, with change, ji ill crowning. 

Purely jealous, I would have her, 

Then only conftant when I crave her. 

'Tis a vertue jhould not fave her. 
Thttf, nor her delicates would cloy met, 
Neither her peevifonejj'e annoy inee. 

Juli. Nay, Hermogenes, your merit hath long fince becne both 
knowne, and admir'd of us. 

Herm. You (hall heare me fing another : now will I begin. 

Gall. We (hall doe this gentlemans banquet too much wrong, that 
ftayes for us, ladies. & 

, Jul. 'Tis true : and well thought on, Cornelius G allus. 

Her. Why 'tis but a (hort aire, 'twill bee done prefcntlv, pray' /by j 
ftnek mufick. - 9tr J 

Ovid. No,good Hermogenes : wee'le end this diftvrencc within. 
Jul. Tis the common difeafe of all your muficians, that they know 
no racane; to be intrcated, either to begin, or end. 

1 3 Ai di 

z 57 


H . ' ib. J. 


me, ifoncofrhcirgoou '^ Hee£bft w0uk , ,, JVC finc JudlS) ^ 
chccre a man «n n1 ^ y , fcfc»ifcj let himcome tonic, 

havca fi«7 ,fc A,^r ki J leave , Maftct Auuus. 

CW. By V r",not2one, Mailer Gr«pinus? 

A"; fe^ve a & drawes mcc bence : pray fir, ft* 

nee an excufc to the W»-'v, f b jewe ls, fir ? 1 pray you <hy. 

^"•«o &ft' 8«» Lit ic fulfice , ' Suftre "»U 

^'in?^, pSyo« to expiate tins complement. 

CM ' lWefently goc and enghle feme broker, for « 'M 
befpelka gaXd : >.&%* jeweller, looke to your bed Jewell 

Act i ii. 

Scene u 


Horace, Cmspinus. 

HAh ?ycs • I will begin an Ode fo : and itihallbcto Mecccnas. 
Cri. 'Slid, vender's Horace! they fay he's a D> exedte 
Poet: Mecobnas loves him. lie fall into his acquaintance,! 
Icanjltl]inkhcbccoinpofing,ashchegocs i'thc ftrecdha? ns agooJ 

humour, if hce bee: 1'le compofe too. 

Hor. Swell me a bonk with iuflie wine, 
I ill I may fee the plump Lyccus jivim 

Above the brim .* 

/ drink) as I wouU write, 
In flomng measure , fill'd with flame, and fprite. 
Cri. Sweet Horace? Minerva, and the Mu{a ftand au T c ^ 

to thy dcfignes. How far' ft thou, fweete man? frolick? &&' S l 

lant ? ha ? 

would you i 

} Horacb" 

?.ic a fcholler, I alture thee. 
Ho r . A fcholler, iir > I (hall be covetous of your fa ire knowledge 


Hor. To the proportion of your beard,! think it, fir. [f » 

Cm. By Puccbus, here's a mo ft ncarc fine ftrcet, is't not ? * P ro ' 


to thcc,Iamcnamour'dofthis ftrect now, more than of halfe the ftrects 
of^w^againej'tis fo polite, andterfc! There's the front of a building 
row. 1 ftudie architecture too : if ever I mould build, rid have a houlc 
juft of that profpetiive. 

Hor. Doubtlefle,this«allantstonguehasagoodturnc, when he flceps. 

Cri. 1 doe make verfes, when I come in fuch a ftrcet ns this : O your 

city-Jadies, you mall ha' 'hem fit in every mop like the i&fis ofrrina 

you the Cajlahan dewes, and. the Thefpian liquors, to as many as have biiJ 

thefivcet grace and audacitic to —fipof their lips. Did vou nevci 

hcarc any of my verfes ? 

Hor. No, fir (but I am in fome feare,lmuft, now.) 

Cri. rietcll rhee fome (if lean but recover 'hem) I compos \\ e'en 
now of a drcfling, I faw a jewelers wife wcarc,wno indeed wis a Jewell 
hcrfclfe: I preferre that kind .oftire no. v, what's thy opinion, Horace ? 
• Hor. With your filver bodkin, it does well, fir. 

Cri I cannot tell, but it ftirrs mec more than all your court-curls, 
or your f,« nglcs, or your tricks: I affeft not thefe high gable-ends, rhelc 
Tufcane tops , nor your coroners , nor your arches , nor your pyramid's • 

give me a fine fweet -little delicate dremng, with aboikin, as 

you lay : and a mufhrome, for all your other ornaturcs. 

Hor. 1st not polTible to make an efcape from h im > 

Cri. I have remitted my verfes, all this while, I think, I ha' for- 
got hem. 3 

Hor. Here's hce, could wifh you had elfe. 

Cri. Pray Jove, I can intreat "hem of my memory. x 

Hor. You put your memory to too much rroublc fir 

Cri. N o, fweet Hor ace, we muft not ha' thee think fo 

^r« HoR 'n I L CrJeyOU mcrc y ' then > thc V are my cares 
That muft be tortur'd : well, you muft have patience cares 

Cri. Pray thee, Horace, obferve. ' 

Hor Yes, fir: your fattinfleeve begins to fretatthc.rucr that is un- 
derneath it, I doe obferve : And your ample velvet bafes are°nortvirhout 
evident ftames of a hot difpofition, naturally. 

Cri O — I'le dye them into another colour, at picture • how many 
yards of velvet doft thou think they contain*? > ' ' 7 

Hor. I have put him now in a frefh way, 

To vex me more : Faith, fir, your mercers booke 
Will tell you with more patience, than I can. 

( ™ l am .. croft > and fo ' s not that, I think.) 

to mind, ™J ' thCfe VeFfCS haVC l0ft me a ^ ainC : l ¥ l not W? ' hem 

To"°™ S£ n n y ° Ur th °°^^ g 00 ^^ rather deferre it 
io a new time ; I le meet you at your lodging, 

Or where you pleafe: Till then, Jove kcep'ySu, fir. 

H Nay, gentle Horace, ftay : I have it, now. 

Cm S\ r ; r/ LO V HER f- 5 ' I«PiTER,lookdownu P on me, 

v>ri. Anfjwss thyhap, fweet Auntie cap, h . 

There to be pi. ued: 
Mere thy fnmih ^ /M Mte 

And both be graced, } 




whiu is there 

Sfoi herbrow ; her fore-head : and then/fe*, , ^ 
fiE i«r hoforci A kind of rarMimfaov j m J 

W/.'iir lb u:v^iUM. r • . Akin 

P .„,, Ml to jM* tha. W» be ore. A km 
;„,;o, : Joc : vouconca^.r. £ 

Hor. E?«Uent. TrotfeJ, t . 

ic abrupt, and leave you. 
I^^JS'I^^ 1 pr'y thee, ftay a little: thou^ 

r '°lk^ JT.ltVno^vliac remedy ? Fie>how I f«cat winh fuffering! 

Hok. aj^i^aveto wipe my face a little. 

Cm. Yes, doe, good Horace. 

Hor. Thankcyou lir. 
Death.' I muft crave his leave to piflc anon: 
Or that I may goc hence with hallc my teeth ; 
T am in feme fuch feare. This tyrannic 
Is 3ranec , to take min« eares up by commtpon, 
(Whether I will or no) and make them flails 
To his lewd [ol&cifms, and worded trafh. 

Hr-ppy thou, bold Bolanus, now I fay 5 

\V ho fe fteedome, and impatience of this fellow, 

Would longcre this, havecal'd him fool, and fool, 
And ranke, and tedious fool,and have flung jefls 
As hard as (lone?, till thou hadft pelted him 
Our of the place : whil'ft my tame modeftie 
Sufti-rs my wit be made a folemne a fie 
To beare his fopperies — r — 

Cri. Horace, thou art mifcrably affededtobe gonc,I fee.But— 
pr'y thee, let's prove to enjoy thee a while. Thou haft no bufwefle, 1*' 
lure me. Whether 13 thy journey directed? ha ? 

HoR. Sir, lam going to vifit a friend, that's fick. 
Cri. A friend ? What's hec ? doc not I know him ? 

Hor, No, fir, you doc not know him ; and 'tis not the worfe for him. 
Cri ^What's his name ? where's hce lodg'd ? 
Hcr. Where, Khali bee feare full to draw you out of your way, (if; 
a great way hence: Pray', fir, lets part. 
Cri. Nay, but where ist? I pry thee, fay. 

Hor. On the^ fane fide of all Tyler yonder, by Caesars gardens. 

Cri . O, that's my coutfe direftty \ I am for you. Come , goe : wty 

ft and" ft thou? 

Hor Yes, fir: marry the plague is in that pare of the cities I ^ 
almoft forgot to tell you, fir. 

Ph aim's F0W: " S n0matter > 1 fcarc "° Pcftiience, I ha not offend 

Hor. Ihave itleemesjorclfethishcavicfcoursc 
Could ne re have lighted on me — wul o c 

Cris. Come, along. 

•i iC J K ' ni*? -° B° c *57 c lor ? e h ^ mile, this way, fir, firft, to fig 
With us Phyfitian: And from thence to his Apothecary, where 1 <*» 
it-iy tnc mixing of divers drags- 

( . Why, it's all one. I have nothing to doc, and I love not to * 
idle, 1 -c bearc thee company. How call'ft thou the Apothecary? _ 


H o r. O, that I knew a name would fright him now. SirRii*!^*^!!*" 
thus, Uhadamanthus, fir. 
There's one fo call'd, is a juft judge in hell, 
And doth infl ift ftrange vengeance on all thofe, 
That ( here on earth ) torment poore patient fpirits. 

Cri. He dwells at the three Furies, by Janus Temple? 

Hon. Your pothecary docs, fir. 

nrre C ft me, ^rlZt—^ *[ ^ «?**> ^ * * ** to 
Ho r . Sir 1 have made a mod folemne vow : I will never baile any man 

RnH KK WcJh r j 11C fvVCarC and f ^ eak himfairc > « ^c worft cc?me' 
ButhisnamcisMiNos,norR H ADAMA N THUs,HoR.\cE 

Hor. Thar may bee, fir: I but gueft at his name by his fon e But 

your Minos is a judge too, fir ? 7 & * J3uC 

u^ K1 ' Vf? tcft 5° thcCi HoRACE ( d <* but taftc me once) if I doc 
know myielfe, and mine owne vermes truly, thou- wilt not make tW 

cficemeofVARi US ,orViRGiL,orTiRULLUS,oranyofhemi^ a S 
now m thy ignorance thou doft 5 which I am content to forg^e I vo U d 
fame fee, winch of thefe could pen more verfes in a day, or with more fa- 
cihue than 1 ; or that could court his miftris, kuTe her harnJ, maSt r 

Ipo t with tier fanne, or hcr dogge fk- 

Hor. I cannot bayle you yet, fir. 

C H!' y?r thaC couid move his bod y more gracefully, or dance better- 

you fhould fee nice, were it not 1 the ftrcet— * 

Hor. Nor yet. 

Cri. Why, I have becne a reveller, and at my cloth of filver fute 

and my long flocking, m my rime, and will be a^aine 

Hor. If you may betruftcd, fir. f 

Cri. And then formy finging, HermogeNes himfclfe envies me • 
that is your only Matter of mufick you have mRome. - ' 

Hor. Is your mother living, fir? & 

Cri . Au i Convert thy thoughts to fomewhat elfe, I pray thee 
Hor. You have much of the mother in you, fir : your father is dead > 

**if % ' 11 J S VE >l md my g Tand " fothcr too, and all my kinf- 

folk s, and well compos d in their urncs. 

Ho r. The more their happineffe ; that reft in peace, 
Tree from tnabundant torture of thy tongue ; 

Would I were with them too. Cri. What's that, Ho iu C e > 

Hor. I now remember me, fir, of a fad fate 
A cunning woman, one Sab el la fun<*, 
When in hcr urne, {he caft my deftinie, 
I being but a child. Cri. What was* I pray thee > 

Hor. Shce told me, I (houldfurely never perilh 
Jiy famine, poyfon, or the enemies fword ■ 
f he beBtck fever, cough, or pleurifie ' 
Jhould never hurt mc ; nor the tardie govvt: 
But in my time, I frould be once furpViz'd, 
^ a ftrong tedious ralker, that fhould vex 
And almoft bring me to confumprion. 
^creforc ( if I were wife) (he warn'd me flmnne 


For if I could but : fag rfi« o« ^ 

I might ( no doubt) proven 6 

Bv your leave, fir> 


anfwer to one rare i ^ Uw procccds againft me . Thou ait famil ^ I fending out againft you, fir, I fee that. Either 

my hourc : |i J. »<■£ » . f j j - ft mc ^ I intimation of your good tarts-: of- 

Wi i''f C c n^J c/flr^f Iknowyour^vcs; I Cri. Nay, I'leUe.L porter, and the g 

HOR. [SO»V ,tL - '.'.viiL.Jf-ftvlnnn make hiS doores nonn. m m„ rtV„v ..-«..- Cri- b 

Cri. You report a wonder ! 'tis feafee credible, this, 

Ho r. I am no torture, to enforce you to bclccve it, but 'tis fo 

, C u 1 r yyfjf'PS ? fl « mes m ccwitha more ardent defire to bee his 
than before .-but, I doubt I (hall find the entrance, to his familiaritie fom- 
u-lut more than difficult, HoRArF. . 

Hor. Tut, you"le conquer him, as you nave, done mc ; There's no 

ftandingout againft you & I fc that. Either your importunicie, or C hc 
intimation of vour good fwrr*. ™- • v ,u ,DC 

In S lou Acouits, as wh ile a Cafe is Argued. 
Be fides, you know, fir, where 1 am to goe, 
And the r.cccmric.- 

Cri. Tistrue: — — \ >■■■> ' ' ... 

Hor. 1 hope the houre of my releafc be come : Hee will (upontfiii 

Cri . Troth, I am doubt full, what I may beft doe ; whether to leav; 

thee, or my affaires, Horace? 

H o r . O Jup i t E R, me, fir ; me, by any meanes : I befcech you, me, fir. 
Cri. No faith, Vie venture thofc now : Thou fhalt fee 1 love th«, 

come HOR ac f. -* ,1.. ' ; 

Ho?.. Nay ihcn, I am defperate : I follow you, fir. Tis hard contco- 

diner with a man that overcomes thus. 

Cri. And how deales Me c oc s a s with thee ? liberally ? ha ? 

Is he open-handed ? bountifull ? 
Hor. Hccs ftill himfclfc, fir. 

Cri. Troth, Horace, thou art exceeding happy in thy friends and 
acquaintance; they are all moft choycefpirits,andofthenrftrankeof 
Romanes :\ doc not know that Poet, I proteft, has us'd his fortune mort 
profpeteufly, than thou haft. If thou wouldft bring mc knownetoM-- 
cocn as, 1 (liould fecond thy defer t well ; thou fliouldft find a good fine 
afliftantof rac: one, that would fpeak all good of thee in thy abfence, 
and be content with the next place, not envy ing thy reputation with tnv 
patron. Let mc not live, but I think thou and 1 ( in a fmall time) faw 

lift them all out of favour, both Virgil, Varius, and the beft of them; 

and enjoy him wholy to our felves. 

Hor. Gods,you'doe know it, I can hold no longer; 

This bnzc hath prickt my patience : Sir, your filknefle 

Clearcly miftakes Mecccnas, and his houfe- 

To think, there breathes a fpirit beneath his'roofc 

Subject unto thofc poore affections 

Of under-mining envie, and detraction, 

Moodes, only proper to bafe groveling minds. 

That place is not in Rome, I dare amrrae, 

More pure, or free, from fuch low common evills. 

There s no man gnev'd, that this is thought more rich, . 

Or this more learned j each man hath his dace 

And to his merit, his reward of grace: 

Which with a mutuall love they all embrace 


Archer of heaven-, Pri-cesus, taVe tlly 1 bow 
And with a full drawne fhafr, naile to the garth 
Thrs Python • that I may yet run hence, and live: 
Or brawnie Hercules, doe thou come downe 

fiffifStit th °. n m o ll k ^thirteenth llbour J '■ 
Rcfcue me from this Hydra of difcourfe, here 


MU 11U- 


Scene, i u 

Aris Tins, Ho race,- Citisp'iK'tis, 

^ORAcE.vvelltnet. rfoR. ,vcl<ome, my, reieever 

1 AR \\ T ' US ' As thou /ov'il mr, ranfome „< ' 

Aw. What ayl'ft thou, nun ? Hor. 'Death lamf,,,'!™!. 
By a Und-RmJa, I cannot ftirre j ' ^ d " hcre 

Notmove.butashepleafcs. C RI . Wilt thou goe, Hoiuce > 

Hor. Heart.' hccleavestome.Iike Alcidf? mirT 
Teanng myfle<ft,and finnetves ; 6, I ha beene°ctt 
And rorturU with him,beyondfdrtie fevers , 
For Joves fake, find fome mearie's, to take me from him. 

Ar " too > N g §.^ 

Hop l" ,c , ,c A ftmll " Mk( = h ' A sc y«^nne,yfaith. 

< I 

»g» ate you' crampt ^Sft i'hZZTl^ ' 
W%S not the' like eonvulfiom. 6, thisday 
'mevcr^o^dvie^hy^ediousface Jl , 
H„' - 1 7i?. R ; ,cn ' v *??^'»oni,.ivhat humour a this > 
( A £ A Av V> S°od prodigie, afflia me not. 

So leTnnde?H m0Ck B 9 ' > ** was "* 
o i«t under the axe ho«r now? 



. cpoctafter* 

Scene m. 


inos,Lictors, Crispinus, Horace. 

T Hat's he, in the imbroydered hat, there, with the afh-colour'd fe. 
ther: hisname is LabeRius Crispinus. 

Lie Laberius Crispinus; larreftyouintheEmpcroursname. 
Cri. Me, fir ? doe you arrcft me ? , . , : 

Lie I fir, at the fute of Mafter Minos the pothecane. 
Hor. Thanks great Apollo : I will not flip thy favour offered nu 
in my efcapc, for ray fortunes. 
Cri. MafterMiNos? 1 know no mafter Minos. WheresHoiucE! 

Horace? Horace? 

Min. Sir, doe not you know me? > . 

Cri. O yes; I know you, mafter Minos : enc you mercy. Bat 
Horace ? Gods me, is he gone ? 

Min. I, and fo would you too, if you knew how. Officer, look totyn, 

Crt. Docyouheare, mafter Mi nos? pray' let's be us'd like a manof 
our owne fafliion. By jANUs,and Jupiter,1 meant to have paiedyou ncs: 
Week, every drachmc. Seek not to eclipfe my reputation, thus vulgarly. 
Min. Sir, your oaths cannnot ferve you, you know 1 have forborne 

you long. 

Cri. I am confeious of it, fir. Nay, I befecch you, gentlemen, doc 

not exhale me thus j remember 'tis but for fwect meats — 

Lie. Sweet meat muft have fowre fawce, fir. Come along. 
Cri. Sweet, mafter Minos : I am forfeited to eternall dilgracc,u 

you doe not commiferato. Good officer, be not fb officious. 




■ ■ i 


Tucca, Pyr gus, Mi n o s, Lictors, 
Crispinus, Histrio, 


W ?y ,ll0w now > m y g° od brac( -* of bloud-hounds ? whither dbc)W 

dragge the gentleman ? you mungrels, you currs, you bandog?. B{ 

arc Captaine Tucca, that talk to you, you inhumane pilchcrs. ! 

iviiN. oir, he is their prifoncr. 

Tuc. Their peftilence. What are you, fir? 

Min, A citizen of Rome, fir. 

Tuc Then you are not farre diftant from a foolc fir- 
Mi n. A pothecarie,fir. 0I ' 

thI U a- J.£ ne c w J houwaft not a Phtfciat.faoU. out of my n<M 
myCrd * *""* ** the #W '' ^ »fe ^ 

Tuc. Doe You he- yo goc^nan ft ave ? hookc , ramfl ie, 1* 

Lie. What will you doe, fir ? i™ c Wi 




There's halfc his lendings gone. 

\ ! 

.Tuc. Kific thy hand , my honourable active varlct • and imbraC 
thee, thus. 

Pyr .O patient metamorphofis ! ' 

Tuc. My fword, my tall rafcall. > ■ 

Lie; Nay,fofr> fir: Some wifcr than fomc. 

Tuc . What ? and a wit too ! By Pluto, thou muft be cberifl&L Hive- 
here's three drachmes for thee : hold. ' 

Pyr. ------ 

Give mcc. 

No, fir, your firft word (hall ftand : l'le hold all. 

Nay, but, rogue 

Lie. You would make a refcue of our prifoncr, fir, you ? 

Tuc; I a refcue? away inhumane varlct. Come, come I never rel- 
Hfli above one jeft at mo ft s doe not difguft me: Sirrah, doc not Ro<mc 
I tell thee, rogue, doc not. . ° > 

Lie. How. fir ? roaue ? 

Tuc. I, why! thou art not angry, rafcall? art thou? 

Lie. 1 cannot teller,- 1 am little berrcr, upon rhefe term's 

Tuc Ha! gods, and friends ! why doft hcare? roguc,rhou, give hie 
thy hand j I fay unto thee s thy hand, rogue. What ? doit notthoukhow 
me ? not me, rogue ? not Captaine a, rogue ? 

Min. Come : pra' furrender the gentleman his fword, officer , well 
nave no fighting here. \ , 

Tuc. What's thy name ? 
Min. Minos, an't plcafe you. 

Tuc. Minos ? come hither, Mi nos ;' Thou art a wife fellow, it 
fecmes : Let mcc talke with thee. . 

Cri. Was ever wretch fo wretched, as unfortunate I? 

Tuc. Thou art one of thecentam.vM ^old boy, arc' not? 

Min. No, indeed, mafter Captaine; ' 

Tuc. Goe to, thou Chair be, then: l'le ha' thee one 5 Mi Nos. Take mv 
fword from thofe rafcaIs,do'ftthou fee ? goe doc ir : I cannot attempt with 
patience Whatdoes this gentleman owe thee, little Minos ? 

Min. VouicCcotc fejl er ties, fir. 

Tuc. What ? no more ? Come, thou (halt releafc him, MrNO s : what 
1 Je be his bailc, thou {halt take my word, old boy, andcalhecrc thefc fu' 
nes ; thou flialt do't, I fay, thou fhalt,little Minos, thou fhalc 
• Cri. Yes, and as I am a gentleman, and a reveller, l'le make a pecce 
of Poetry and abfolve all, within thefe five dayes. 

Tuc. Come, Minos is r.orto learnc how to ufe a gent'rnan of quali- 
ty, I know 5 My fword : If hce pay thec nor, I will,and I .muft, old boy. 
inou my norhecary too : ha'ft good eriteo's* Minos > 
■ Min. Thebcft in Rome, fir. 

Tuc. Goe too then— Verminc, know the houfe; 

Pyr. I warranr you, Cpllotiell. 

Tuc. For this gentleman Minos ? 

Min. IMe take you*, word, Captaine 

J uc. Thou haft ir. My fword 


Tie of.c:r 



1 I 


MiN.Ycs,fir:bur you muftdilchargethearreft, Mafter Cjuspinus. 
J ue. How, Mi nos ? lookc in the genrlcmans face, and but reade 

A a ' thrt 




oblige mee to you. lcmcm , bv Mars ; but Jupithr Io 

Tuc. Tut , I cannot c \ { d ^ e 

thC r H^O Ju£« I Opuine , be toll have them ro.v, prefe,!], 
, r • ™, m he icceptivc, youne gentleman. 
Pl pf R f Y«>, f«ro 'not ; I malt accept : 1 have a prime feoliftfc 

«^„r r.r nkin CT , if YOU knew all. 

T & yo« *aU not take, boy ■ 

r r? Bv mv truth , nffl ferfi^bUB he (Bali, Capta ,nc, by your leave. 

Tuc' Nay, and a toeare by his truth, and tthfc it, take ic boy : doc 

not make a genwnan forfwornc. • *[ ' 

Lie. Well, fir, there is your (Word; but thank mailer Minos : 
you had not carried it as you doe,clfc. 

Tuc. Minos is juft,and you are knaves, and 

Lie. What fay you, fir? 

Tuc. Patfe on , ray good fcoundrdl , palie on, 1 honour thec :But, I hate to have action with inch bale rogues as thefej you fhould hi 

ftcne me unrip their nofes no v- and have lent 'hem to the next barbers, 

to ditching : for, doe you fee— I m a man of humour, and ldoc love the 

varlcts,the honeft varlcts •, they have wit, and valour : and arc indeed 

ood profitable — ^errant rogues, as any live in an Empire. Docltthoo 

eare, Poetaster? fecohd me. Stand 'up (Mikos) clofe, gather^ ye:, 

fo. Sir (thou (hale have a quarter ("hare, bee refolutc) you mall, at myre- 

queft,take MiKos by the hand) here, little Minos, 1 will have it fojall 

friends, and a health : be not inexorable. And thou (halt impart the wine, 

©Id boy, thou fhalt dor, little Mi nos, thou fhak : make us pay it in out 

phyfick. What? we muft live, and honour the gods, fometimes^wtf 

Bacchus, now Comus, now Priapus : cverygod , a little. What's he, 

that ftalks by, there ? bby,PYRGUs,you were beft lcthimpalfe,firrabj 

doe, ferret, let him pafTe, doe. 

Pyr. lis a player, fir. 

Tuc. A player? Call him, call the iowfie flave hither: what, will be 
faileby,and'notonceftrike,orvailetoa Man ofmrrel\\zi doeyouhcarf! 


ha . you gw» 

, , ,. . -. - pe nn ytcare-mouth? you have j^' 

t //»e ia nd the good yeerc on your fides you ftinkard ? you have ? you ta vc ; , 

His. Nay facet Captaine,bee confln'd to fome reafon ; 1 P t0Icltl 
law you not, fir. 

Tuc. You did not ? where was your fight. O r d i p u s ? you «a* 
with hares eyes doe you ? Vie ha' 'hem glaS'd rogue $ and you fijg 
word, they (lull be glaz d for you : come, we mult haye you turne f* 

Sk U l!l ,pt ^ V, ? 1 ?? t ' oulh,ck ' and march ina cavVDJc *J 
with one fleeve, to Goofe-fajre, and then you'll know us, you 

v'^Tv f >g f 'r W ' ll? Thcn > wil " c 5* vourworHii 
any mudek, Capraine? r ; 

His. Nay, good Captainci ?' 

'U fee i' 5 
to W 


Tuc . What ? doc you laugh , Owlegl* I death, yOu periWu^s" 
varlct I am none of your fellowcs: 1 have commanded a hundred and 
fiftic fuch rogues, I . 

i. Pyr. I, and moft of that hundred & fifty, have bin leadcrsof a Jegtofl. 
- His. If 1 have exhibited wrong, lie tender fatisfaclion,Captainc. 

Tuc. Say'ft thou fo, honeft vermine ? Give me thy hand , thou Quit 
make Us a fupper one of thefc nights. 

His. When you P leafc,byJovE,Captaine, moft willingly. 

Tuc. Doeft thou Twearc > to morrow then -fay , and hold fiave. 
There arc fome of you players honeft gent'man-likc fcoundrels, and fufpe- 
Ocd to ha fome writ, as well as your Poets ; both at drink ing, and brea- 
king of jefts: and are companions for gallants. A man mayskcldcrye, 
now and then,of halfc a dozen (hillings, or fo. Docft thou not know that 
Pantalabus there? 

His. No, I aflure you, Capraine. 

Tuc. Goe and bee acquainted with him, then; bee is a gent man, 
parcell /w, you flave: his father was a man of worftup, 1 tell thle. Goe 
he pens high, loftic,ina new (hiking ftrainc j bigger than halfc the rimers 
i thetowne ,againe : he was borne ro fill thy mouth, Mi notaurus, hce 
was :hce will teach thee to tcare, and rand. Rafcall, to him, chcrifh his 

mM H°A : 1°^ n ^° xn ^ on < killings,! meane,ftinkard,givehimm 
earneft,doe, he (hall write for thec,ttavc. Ifheepcnfor thee once, thou 
flialt not need totravailc,with thy [pumps fullof gravell,any more, after a 
blind jade and a hamper: and ftalke upon boords,and barrell-heads to 
an old crackt trumpet -, — — 3 

His. Troth,! think I ha* not fo much about mee, Capraine. 

Tuc. It s no matter : give him what thou haft : stiffe-toe I'ic eive my 
word for the reft : though it lack a filling, or two, it skils «£:Go£ 
thou art an honeft (rafter , I J c ha' thc yZ^^repeal'dVor thee. M r nos 
I muft tell thee, Minos thou haft dejected yon gentmans fpiric exece-' 
dingly:doftobferve?doftnore, little Minos ? . 

Min. Yes, fir. 

*5m ?r° C '? thcn ' raife 5 ****** doe - $"$« him not to droop , in 
proiped of a player, a rogue, a ftager : put twentie into his hand, twentie, 

fZ CC F \ i? 10 ^^ leC n ?., bod y fee : S° e ' doc if ' the work e M com- 
rnendu lelfe ; bc Mi nos, lie pay. - 

Min. Yes forfooth, Captainc. 

a. Py R Doc not weefervc a notable fliark > 

wnn1d°f -^ C T VV matrers have wee ™* afoot* ">rah ? ha? I 

would f ain c come with my cockatrice one day, and fee a play if I knew 

when there were a Roodbawdie nn, • h,«rhJk„ .,«.. B*7'iM , w 


uA^^c-r.L i J — > ^ a i' irt «"«--, nut wee. iney are on the nt her 

our SSJS! a ™ : A " thc finn «M' the (l ,Lb S , comeJand'appLd 

ray TU I°fh all'lSor^' 1 ' 11 , b u in S 7 co ' the fa ge Aere; you'll play mce, tney 
of P UT6 -.n" P vJf « Cd by . a fo . rt ofc °PP«-lac , cfcou. 1 dre P Isofy u:life 

your XmaTJvr I ge me> ^^ » y™ """ft"' llu » ^ac forr, 
your tabernacles, varkts, your Ohtt,, and your Triumphs. ' 

Aa» His. 



g^j^bfP^ C*** ; doe not doc us i mpu ^ 

"l&l Wnor>y goodtwo-pcnyrafcall: reach mcc thy neufc. H 
• \ v Vr vvilr thou Bivc mc a week, tor my brace of beagles, here 1 
^iSS^TSSEB ha" them a* among yec Sirrah, ^J 

£5£?^&%^ 1? El M" dolcfu11 ftr ^ 

wicked world I and worldly wickednejje I 
, m can I hold my ffifirom crytng thump, 

In rue of this right rafcall metcbednette ! 
Tuc. In an amorous vaine now 5 hrran, peace, 
i . P y R . 0,jbeis wilder, and more hard , wttbaU, 
Than heap, or bird, or tree, or flony wall, 
ret wight free love mee, to upreare her [Ute : 
/, bu t perhaps free hopes fome nobler mate, 
ret might free love me, to content her fire : 

1 father reason maflers her dejire. . 

ret might free love me as her Beauties thrall : 
I, bat I fear e, free cannot love at all. 

Tuc. Now, the horrible fierce Souldicr; you, firrah. 
i . Pyr • what Z will I brave thee? I, and beard thee too. 
A Roman fpirit f comes to beare a braine, 
So full of bafe pufllanimitie. 

Dem. Hi st. Excellent.. 

Tuc. Nay, thou (halt fee that, (hall ravifh thee anon-' prick up thiac 

earcs, ftinkard i the Ghoft, boys. 
J. Pyr. V indicia. 
2. Pyr. Timoria. 
i. PYR. VindiBa. 
2,.Pyr, Timoria 
i. Pyr- 'Vent. 

. • 

a. Pyr. Vent. 

Tuc Now, thunder, firrah, you, the rumbling player, 
i . Py r. 1, but fome body muft cry (murder) then in a lrtttlboy«. 
Tuc. Your fellow-(harer, there, (hall do't; Cry, firrah, cry. 

I. Pyr. Murder 9 murder. 

a. Pyr. who calls out murder?- lady, wds it you i 

Bem Hist o, admirable good, I protcft. , . u 

Tuc. Sirrah, boy, brace your drum a little ftrairer, and doe thetotIP 

fellow there, hee in the -what (ha call him— -and yet, (by to0 ' 

2.PYR. Nay and thou dalliefl, then I am thy foe, 

And fare frat H force, what friendfrip cannot in- 

fyM 'Ml bury n hat thy life conceals , ? 

VtUatne ! thou diejl, for more refpeiiing her! 

, i. Pyr. 0\ flay my Lord. 6 

» I'Pl' r Au mt: )a fpeak tht tYUth - a "< 1 * will guerdon thee: 

But if thou dally once agajne, thou diett * 

Tuc. Enough of this, boy. 

2.PYR why then lament therefore: darmU U thy guts unto i/tf ** 

1 o s hell, and$nncely Embus 5 for (parses mufl Le foode. ^ 


Tee: Lr. 

His. "Pray, fweet C a pta inc, let one of them doc a little ifa lady 
Tuc O ! he will mike thee eternally ennmour'd di i, there s doc 


firrab,doc : 'twill allay your fellowcs furic a little. 
1 PYR. M after, mock on : the fcorne thou givc(l W«* 
Pray Jo VE, fome hidy may re: tone on thee. 

2 . Pyr . No : you Hull fee nice doe the Moors \ Mafttr, feral mc your 
fcarfe a little. 
Tuc. Here, 'tis at thy fervicc, boy. 

2. Pyr. You, mafter Minos, harke hither a little. Tbl , 

Tuc. Howdoftlikc him ? art not rapt? are not tickled no.v ?doft not d,Z Z . 

\> tUmfetvu id- 

applaud,rafcall ? doft not applaud. 

His. Yes: what will you askc for 'hem a weeke, Captaincy 
r ,7.u C * No, you mangonizing Hive, 1 will not part from 'hem: you'/e 
icll hem lor enghles you : lets ha good chcerc to morrow-niuht ar (up- 
per, (talker, and then wee 11 talkcj good capon,and plover, doe you heare 
firrah ? and doe not bring your caring player with you there • 1 canrot a- 
way with him : He will eate a Icgge of mutton, while I am in rhy porficke 
the lean PoLtiPHAGUs,his belly is like Barathrum,^ looks like a midwffe 
innunsappjrell, the (lave. Nor the vilbnous-our-of-rur.e fiddler *wb» 
BARBUS,bnngnothim. What haft thou there? Hxaftd thiny >ha ? 

His. No, here's all I have (Captaine) fome five and twenty. Pray 
lir, will you prclcnr, and accommodate it unto the gentleman : for mine 
ownc part, I am a mccre ftrangcr to his humour :be(ides,I have fome 
Dudnefle invites mc hence,with Mafter As 1 nius Lupus, the Tribune 

rJTc Wdl "' g n° thy vva y eS: P»^ue thy^ojeasJetmeealonewirH 
tins defignc y, my Poetaster ftoU make thee a play , and thou (till 
bee a man of good parts, in if. But ftay, let nice fee : Doe not brin- your 
^so P £,your politician 5 unlcfle you can ram up his mouth with doves- 
rheflave fmclls ranker than lomc fixteene dung-bills, and is fevenreene 
times more rotten: Marry, you may bring Friskf.r, my Zany. Hee's a 
good skipping fwaggerer- and your far (bole there, my Mango brina 
. him too: but let him not begge rapiers, nor fcarfes, in his over-familiar" 
playing face, nor rore out his barren bold jells, with a tormenrin* Ianah- 
rcr, betweene drunk, and dry. Doe you heare , ft irte-toe > Give him w a r 
ni«pdmonition,to forfake his (awcy glavering grace and his gOgol c IJ" 
k does not become him, firrah : tell him fo. I ha°ve ftood upan°d ddbnde-d 
you, I, to gent men, when you havebecne faid to prey upon lances and 
honefteinzens for(ocks,or buskins: or when they ha' call'd you ufuSs 
or brokers, or fi id. vnnw/»r/» iM«rr» i.-i« ► i/.-_ .1 n » ; vyuu _«urers, 


orbrokcrs orfaid, you were ableto help to a peeceof flelli 
iwornc I did .not think fo. Notrhatyou were the comiiion 

be gods con- 

punks fa* s ti,e irp „ ai cv:i a&sKUdO o" "r"- tr " ts ™ r 

His. 1 bank you, Giptaine ! [upiter, and the reft of ib 
'■"e _your moJcrne delights, without Jifjuft. . 

•LS Sta y' ^ ^ jfee the Mo^ck tbougoeft : that's bee .virb 
H oT S I^VfC'!^ "'out of his clok?, likea S^? 

Se tre J^ r fi L'°.5 C , P EME "«>'i « HMfe of playes about the 

Aa 5 Tuc. 




Tuc. An4:»byfo.ftinkaTJ ? dealcof (CapHin) ^ 

5 l *;v 'f£ ^S*Kh?«* us a " p° orct ■ *■ fc »*M5 

need on Z; tor tnis > _ g gcnt i cman I10 r a 



nib. ratn'v — 

"•S^VwJSSSkmsus, here, flail help him, ifthou,vil t:Cl „ 

nn^fthemoft over-flowing rankc wits, in Home. Hcewill ikndcrany 
man to breathes, if he difguft him. _ 

Tuc l'le know the poorc, egregious, nitue rafcall, an he have thefc 
commendable qualities, l'le cheriO, him (ftay, here comes the W) » 
make a gathering for him, I : a purfe, and put the poore (lave m freili ugi 
Tell him fo, to comfort him : well laid, boy. 

2 p v r where art thou, boy 1 where (fCALlPOUS? 
Fioht earth-quakes, in the entrailes of the earth, 

pjcuUm, »ta A , H i ea (t er # e whivlt-mnds mthc htlltjb jbades: 
5^" ' * Some foule conugion of ihwfeBed bwens 



T/;e <///»«// night-raven, and tragick owk 
Breed, and become fore-runners of my fall. 

Tu c. Well, now fare thee well, my honed peny-bitcr : Commend 
meeto feven (hares and a halfe, and remember to morrow— -if you 
lack a fervicc, you (hall play in my name, rafcals, but you (hall buy your 
owne cloth, and l'le ha' two marcs for my countenance. Let thy author 

ftay with mee. 

Dem. Yes, fir. . 

Tuc. 'Twas well done, little MiNo s, thou didft dalke well •, forgw 

me that I faid thou dunk'd , M i n o s : 'twas the favour of a PMt 1"* 

iweatingintbe flreet, hangs yet in my nodrils. 

Cri. Who? Ho r a ce ? 

Tuc. I , he-, doft thou know him ? 

Cm. 0, he forfookc me mod barbaroully, I ptorcft. 

Tuc. Hang him fuftie Satye, he fmells all goat ; he carries a nrniK> 
under his arme-holes,thc (lave: I am theworfe when I fee him. Dida* 
Minos impart ? 

Cri. Yes, here are twentic drachmcs,he did convey. 

Tuc. Well faid, keep "hem, wce'll (hare anon; come,littleMtN° s ' 

Cri. Faith, Captain, He heboid to (hew vou a miftreffcof m"* 1 

jewellers wife, a gallant, as we goe along. 
Tuc. 7 here (poke my Gemw. Mi no 

Minos -fend: come hither, Parnassus, i mult ha thec tamu- - _ 
my h tie locuft, here, tis a good vermine,they fay. See, here's Hoj'!* 

nn ° uT? E * ATIU ^ c g™ Lawyer,in hisVoipany , let's #0*** 
now: He is too well feconded. 

is, fome of thy w^S H«J 
i, I muft ha thec family ^ 



izJft irr. Scene v. 


Horace, Trebatius. 

Here are, to whom I feeme exceffive fower 5 . 
And paft a Satyres law, t extend my power: 
Others, that think whatever I have writ 
Wants pith, and matter to erernizeip. 
And that they could, in one dayes light, difclofe 
A thoufand verfes, fuchas I compofc. 
What (hall I doc, Trebatius e fay. Treb. Surceafc, 
Hor. And (hall my Mufe admit no more encreafe ? . 
Tre. So I advife. HoR. An ill death let me die 
If 'twere not bed; but deep avoids mine eye, 
And Iufc thefe, left nights mould tedious feeme. 

Tre. Rather, contend to deep, arid live like them- 
That holding golden lleepc in fpeciall price, 
Kub'd with tweet oyles,fwim filver Tybtr thrice, 
And every even, with neat wine deeped bee. 
Or, if fuch love of writing ravifh thee, 
Then dare to fing unconqucr'd Caesars deeds- 
Who cheeres fuch actions, with abundant meeds. 

Hor. Thar, father, I deflre j but when I trie, 
I fecle defects in every ficultie : ' 

Nor is't a labour fit for every pen, 
To paint the horrid troops of armed men; 
The launces burd, in Gallia's flaughrred forces'- 
Or wounded Partbians, tumbled from their horfes -- 
Great C ae s a r s warres cannot be fought with words. 

Tre. Yet, what his vertuc in his peace affords, - 
His fortitude, and judice thou canft fhow- 
As wife Luc.i.ius, honor'd Scipio. 

Hor. Of that, my powers fhall fufFerno negle#, 
When fuch flcight labours may afpire refpect : 
But, if I watch not a mod chofen time, 
The humble words of F t accus cannot clime 
Th attentive care of C ae s.U; nor mud I 
With lefle obfervance fhunnc groffe flatterie: 
For he, repofedfafe in his owne merit, 
Spumes back the glofcsof a fawning fpirir. 

Tre. Bur, how much better would fuch accents found, 
Than with a fad, and ferious verfe to wound 
Pantolabus, railing in his fawcie jeds ? 
Or N o m e n t a n u s (penf in riotous feads? 

In ^ow,cachman (though untouch) complains 

As he were hurt* and hates-filch biting drains. 

Hoj. What (hall I doe? MiLonius (hakes hishcclcs 
Jii i ccafleflc dances, when his braine once feeles 
Mie itirnng fervour of the wine afcend ? 


Hor.Sa:. r 




***** r "isKsrtft fi S ..ts: 

Castor M?h°*'i°£d choifc delights. 
A thoufand heads ^ houUna ^ 

With all nis •<■•■ "" " , meQ , 

As' n a votive table in his lines i 

And to his fteps my (HW* inclines j 

r i L or V'<»> I not whether - 

VoXr^l^Xom plowcs either: 

Sther, when the 54L« were fore'd thence 

f/V old fame fings ) to give the p ace defence 

•Gainft ! fuch, as feeing it emptie might make rode 

Upon the Empire ; or there fix abode : 

W hcther the A ? ultan borderer it were , 

Or the Lucanian violence they feare. 

But this my ftile no living man (hail toucn, 

If firft I be not Cored by bafe reproach 5 

But , like a Scathed, Cword, it (hall defend 

My innocent life 5 for, why foould I contend 

To draw it out, when no malicious theefe 

Robs ray good name, the treafure ol ray lite ? 

O j u p 1 t e R, let it with ruft bee eaten, 

Before it touch, or infolently threaten 

The life of any with the leaft difeafe; 

So much I love, and woe a gencrall peace. 

Bur, he that wrongs me, better, I proclame , 

He never had aflai'd to touch my fame. 

For he (hall weepe, and walke with every tongue 

Throughout the C it ic, infamoufly fung. 

Servius, the Prttor, threats the'lawes, and urne, 

If any at his deeds repine or fpurne ; 

The witch, Canidia, that Alb.utius got; 

Dcnounceth witch-craft, where (hee lovcth not : 

Thurius, the Judge, doth thunder worlds of ill. 

To fuch,as ftrive with his judiciall will ; 

tC All men afttight their foes in what they may, 

* f Nature commands it, and men muftobay. 

Obfcrve with me ; "The Wolfe his tooth doth ufe ; 
" The Bull his home. And who doth this infufc, 
<c But nature? There's luxurious Sc/EVA; Truft 
His long-liv'd mother with him •, His fo juft 
And fcrupulous right-hand no mifebiefe will • 
No more, than withhis.heelc a Wolfe will kill, 
Or Oxc with jaw : Many, let him alone 
With temper d poifon to remove the croane. 
But, briefly, if to age I deftin'd bee, 


Or that quick deaths black wings inviron mce ; 
If rich, or poorc ; at Rome % or fate command 
I (hall be banifh't to fome other land ■ 
What hicw focver, my whole (late ftull bcarc, 
I will wrire Saryrcs {\i\\, in ipight of feare. 

Tke. Horace 5 1 feare, thou draw'ft nob (ling breat! 
And that fome great mans friend will bee thy death. 

Hor. What? when the man that fir ft did Satvrljk. 
Durft pull the skin over the cares of vice ; 
And make, who flood in outward fafliion clearc,. 
Give place, as foulc within- (lull I forbeare ? 
Did IwE Litis, or the man, fo great with fame, 
That from Cackt Carthage fetcht his worthy name 
Storme,that Lucilius did Metellus pierce?. 
Or bury Lupus quick, in famous vcrfc ? 
Rulers, and (ubjcAs, by whole tribes hcecheckr^ 
But venue, and her friends did ftill protect : 
And when from fight, or from the judgement fear, 

The vertuous Scipio, and wife LyEr.ius met, 
Unbrac't,. with him in all light fports, they (hard 5 
Till, their mod frugall (uppers were prcpar'd. 
What e're I am, though both for wealth, and wit y 
Beneath Lucilius, I ampleas'd to fit; 
Yet, Envic (fpight of her empoy Coned' bred ) 
Shall Cay, I liv'd in grace hcre > with the beft ; 
And, Cecking in wcake trafh, to make her wound, 
Shall find me folid, and her. teeth unfound : 
LclTc, learnd 1 re'batius cenfure difagrcc. 

Tre. No, Horace, I of force miift y ecld to thee a 
Only, take heed, as being advis'd by mee^ : ' 
Left thou incurre Come danger : Better pau(e 
Than me thy ignorance of the Cacred lawes 3 
There's juftice, and great action may be fu'd 
'Gainft fuch, as wrong mens fames with.vcrfes lewd, 

Hor._ I, with lewd verCcs; fuch as libels bee, 
And aym'd at pcrCons of good qualitie. 
I reverence and adore that juft decree j 
But if they (hall be ("harp, yet modeft rimes 
That fpare mens pcrfons, and but tax their crmes 
Such, (hall in open court, find currant- -Dane i 



5h?me,and reproach; his Cuit (hall quickly Bee 
Wiflolv d id laughter, and thou thence fit (rce, 






■ a# ifc Scene U 

Chloe> Cytheris. 
-pj Ut, fort ladic fay i «n I well enough attir'd for the Court, i„ 

A^JviiiVddtV attire (lean tell you) will ftir a courtiers bloud, mn re 
;w the fincft loofc facks the ladies ufc to bec put in 5 and then you aicai 
Xcwell'd as any of them ; y our mfte,and lmnen about you, is much ^ 
I£ theirs :'And for your beauty, I can tell you,thcre s many of thea, 
Sd de fie the painter, if they could change with you . Marry, the word * 
you muft look to be envied, and endure a few court-i rumps for ,t. 

Chlo O Iove, Madam, I (hall buy them too cheap! Give mee my 
mufre, and ray dogge there. And will the ladies be any thing familiar ^h 

"^Cyth. O Juno ! why, you (hall fee 'hem flock about you with thci 
puffe wings, and aske you, where you bought your laWne ? and what you 
paid for it > who (larches you ? and entreat you to hclpe hem to fone 
pure landreflcs, out oftheCirie. % 

Chlo. O Cupid ! give me my fannc,and my mask too : And will the 
lords, and the Poets there, ufe one well too, ladie ? 

Cyth. Doubt not of that : you (hall havekifles from them, goc pit- 
par, pit-par, pit-pat, upon your lips, as thick as (tones out of flings, at the 

afiault of a citie. And then your earcs will be fo furd with the brcathot 
their complements , that you cannot catch cold of your head ( if yw 

would ) in three winters after. 
Chlo. Thank you, fwect ladic. O heaven! And how mult one behw 

her ferfe amongft 'hem? you know all. 

Cyth. Faith, impudently enough, miftrefle Ch loe, and well enough 
Carry not too much under-thought betwixt your felfe and them j nor w* 

y/~" / * / ~ ~ J ** v*«j ******* »*» j jju» j • *»#»*« * ( * * L 

toofimple, and minfitive. And though they defire to-kifle heaven «w 
their tirlcs, yet they will count them foolcs that give them too huitiDlV- 
Chlo . O intolerable, J u p i i e r ! By my troth, lady, 1 would not » 
a world, but you had lycn in my houfe : and i* faith you Hull not pay 
farthing, for your boord, nor your chambers. 

Cyth. CfweetMiftreflcCHLoE! 

Chlo. 1' faith, you fliall not ladic, nay, good ladic, doc not oft'"' 


iv. Scene u. 


Cor. Gallus, Tibullus, Cytheris, ChloH. 

Ome, where be thefc ladies ? By your leave , bright ftars, this tf* 
man and I are come to man you to Court : where your late k«» 

be requited with a heavenly banquet. ,*, 

tertainment is now to 


C y t. A heavenly banquet, GaUu* I 

Cor. Gal. No lefle, my deare, Cythf.ris. 

Tib. That were not ftrange, lady, if the Esthete were only given 
for the company invited thither ; your felfe, and 'this faire gentlewoman. 

C h l o . Arc we invited to court, (ir ? 

Tib . You are, lady,by the gtcat Princeflc, f ui,i a : who longs to greet 
you with any favours, that may worthily make you an often courtier. 

Chlo. In (inceritie, I thank her, fir. You have a coach > ha' you not ? 

Tib. The Princeflc hath fqnc her owne, lady. 

Chlo. O Venus ! that's well : I doc long 10 ride in a coach mod 

Cyt. But, fwcet Gailus , pray you, rcfohc mee, why you give 
that heavenly praffe, to this earthly banquet ? 

Cor. Gal. Becaufe (. Cythf.ris) it celebrated by- the 
heavenly powers : All the Gods, and Goddcffes will be there ; to two qf 
which, you two muft be exalted. * 

Chlo. A prcttie fiction in truth. ' ' . j 

Cyt. Afiilion indeed, Ch loe, and fir, forthe fitofa Poet. ■ 

CoR. Gal. Why, Cytheris, may not Poets ( from whofe divine 
fpirits, all the honours of the gods have bcene deduct ) intreatc fo much 
honour of the gods, to have their divine prcfencc at a Poetical! b? □ ^jet ? 

Cyt. Suppofe that no fi&ion : yet, where are your liabilities to 
make us two goddefles, at your fcaft? 

Cor. Gal. Who knowes not ( Cvtheris ) that the facrcd breath 
of a true Poet, can blow any vertuous hum mitic, up to deitie i 

Tib . To tell you the femall truth ( which is the firaplc truth ) ladies ; 
aad to (hew that Poets(in fpight ofthe world) a re able to dejfie tbemfelves : 
At this banquet, to which you are imrited, we intend to aflumethe figures 
Ofthe Gods; and to give "Our fevcrall Loves: the formes of Goddefles. 
Ovid will be Jupiter ; the Princefle Julia, Tuno; GALLushcre A- 
pollo; you Cytheris, Pallas; 1 will bee Bacchus j. and my 
Love Plautia, Ceres : And to inftall you, and your husband, faire 
Chloe, in honours, equall with ours ; you (hall bee a Goddefie,and 
your husband a God. 

Chlo. A God? my god! 

Tib. A God j but a lame God, ladie : for he (hall be Vulcan, and 
you Venus. And this will make our banquet no lefle than heavenly. 

Chlo. In finceritie, it will be fugred. Good Jove, what a prettia 
foolifh thing ic is to be a Poet! But harke you, fwect Cytheris; could 
they not poflibly leave out my husband? mee thinks, a bodies husband 

do's not fo well at Court j A bodies friend, or fo —but husband, 

tis like your clog to your marmafety for all the world, and thchcavcHS. 

Cyt. Tut, never feare, Chlos : your husband will be left without 
in the lobby, or the great chamber, when you (hall be put in, i' the clofet* 
by this lord, and by that lady. 

Chlo. Nay, then I am certified r he (hall goe* 











Horace, Tibullus, Cri- 
spins, Tucca, Demetrius, 

Cytheris, Chloe. 

G A L L U S, 



Orace ! Welcome 

Hor. Gentlemen, heare you the ncwes ? 
Tib YVh2tnevvcs,myQyiNTus? 
Hon' Ourmelancholick friend, Propertius, 
HaVhcIos'dhimfelfe,up, in his Cynthia stombe; r 

And will by no intrcaties be drawnc. thence. . 

Alb. Nay, good maftcr Crispinus, pray you, bring nceic .ite 

gentleman. .5- • _, . , 

Hor. Crispinus? Hidemc,goodGALLUs:TipuLLus,{hcltetDic, 

Cri. Make your approach, fvveet Captainc. 

Tib. What meancs this, Horace? 

Hor. I am furprii'dagaine, farewell. Gal. btay, Horace. 

Hor. What, and be tir don, by yond' vulture? No: 

Pnoesus defend me. Tib . 'Slight l I hold my life, 
This fame is he met him in liofyfnet. 

Gal. Troth, 'tis like enough. This ad of Propertius tdiki: 
very ftrange, with me. 

Tuc. By thy leave, my neat fcoundrell: what, is this the rmdboj 


Cri. I : this is maftcr Albius, Captainc. 

Tuc. Give me thy hand, Agamemnon ; we heare abroad, tbouas 
the Hector of citizens 1 what fayeft thou? are wee \vclcomc to thee, 

noble Neoptolemus? 
Alb. : WcIcomc,Captaine ? by JovE,and all the gods i'the capitoll-' 
Tuc. No more, we conceive thee. Which of rhefc is thy wcdlaj 
Menelaus? thy Hell en ? thy Lucrece ? that wee may doc her ho- 
nour-, mad boy? 

Cri. Shce i' the litle fine drcmng, fir, is my Miftris. 
Alb. For fault of a better, fir. 

Tuc. A better , prophanc rafcall ? I crie thee mercy ( my & 00 
fcroile ) was't thou ? . 

Alb. No harmc, Captainc. 

Tuc. Shce is a Venus, a Vesta, a Melpomene : Come bid*' 
Penelope -, what's thy name. Iris ? 

Chlo. My name is Chloe, fir. I am a gentlewoman. 

iuc. Thou arc m merit to be an Emprefle ( Chloe) for ancyc^ 
a lip 5 thou haft an Emperors nofe : kifTeme againc: 'tis a vmuoujW" 
So. Before Jove, the gods were a fort of gofiW when they &&*>» 
facet a breath, to perfume the bed of a ftinkard : thou hadft ill &*»* 
T H isb e ; the fates were infatuate ; they were, punk 5 they were. , 

Chlo . That sfurc, fir : letmecrave your name,I prayyou>. ,, 

Tuc. I am knownc by the name of Capraine Tucca , Hf * * 
noble Roman, punk : a gentleman, an* a commander, punk. Q , 



Chlo. In good time : a gentleman, and a commander? that's as aood 
as a Poet y me thinks. 6 

Cri. Aprettyinftrumentllc'smycoufinCYTHERlsviolithis.-is'rnot' 
C yt. Nay, play coufin, it wants but fuch a voyce 1 and hand, to grace 
It, as yours is. & 

Cri. Alas,coufin, you are merrily infpir'd. 
t CYT.'Prayyouplay,ifyouloveme. 
, Cri. Yes,coufin: you know, Idoe not hate you. 

Ti b. A molt fubcill wencli 1 How mee hath baited him with a violl 
yonder, for a long J 

Cri. Coufin pray you call miftris Chloe ; fhee mail heare an 
cllay 01 my Poetrte* 

Tuc. Tie call her. Come hither, cockatrice • here's one, will fet thee 
up, my fweer punk ; fet thee up. 
Chlo. Are you a puct, To foone, fir ? 
Alb. Wife: mum. 


T Ove is blind, and a wanton ; 
—In the whole world, there is Jt 

One fuch another: 

No, not his Mother: 
He hath pluck t her doves, and fpartOWCS* 
To feather his fliarpe arrowes, 

And alone prevaileth, 

. frhiljlfick Venus waileth. 

But //"Cypris once recover 
The wag ■ /; jbaU behove her 
To look better to him: 
Or fhee will undoe himi 
Alb. 0,moit odoriferous mufickl 

Iuc. A, ha! ftinkard. Another Orpheus,, you flive, another Or, 
pheus! an Arion, riding on the back ofadolphim, rafcall.' * 

Gal. Haveyouacopyofthisdittie,fir ? 
Cri. Mafter Albius has. . 

Alb. I,bur in truth, they are my wives verfes^ I rauftnot (hew 'hem. 
Tuc. Shew 'hem, bankerupr, ftuw 'hem - they havciilc in 'hem; and 
will brooke the aire, ftinkard. ' 

Gal. How?tohisbrightmiftris,CAN[DiA? 

Cri. I,fir,thac's but a borrowed name; as Ovid s CoRTNNAjor p^o- 
PERTiushis CYNTHiA,oryourNEMEsis j0 r Delia,Tibullus. 

Gal. It s the name of Ho race his witch, as I remember.. ) 

Tib. WJiy ? rhcdicc'isaUborr0.vedjtisHORAcEs:hanghirap/^o»; 
ronhl Vt ^ borr O'V of Horace? be (hall pawnc. hi rafd'fe to 
jcnorokers,rirlt. Doeyou heare, Poet asters ? I know you to be men 

™ rfh, P 7T* H , C ^ II vvrke wich Horace,, for a talent : -and IctM e- 

vhm n h,S whole colI = d S c oiCriticks take his pare : thoumaicdo'r, 
young PHcesus : thou malt, Ph arto n 5 thou.fhalr. 

a*J3Ir • ' hr, , Ho RACE •' hc is a mecrc f PUrtge ; nothing but horaolirs, 

jinaoblervation; he goes up and do vne fucking f:om cvcrvVocicrie, and 

<>cn he comes home, fqucczes himiclfe drie againe. I knowiiirn, I. ; - 

Bb - Tuc 






- T^TThou fayeft true, my V^fff F.rie hce will pen all j 
Vnowcs Adiarpc thornic-tooth d S *ty,caU xzte\ , fliclum. bcec * 

he once drops upon paper, again ft a man, lives eternally t6 upbr ai j h ir 


one ot thefe daics for his 
or another. 

L4IM. nun, v^u^iu.....-- 

Dem. I, and tickle him i' faith, for his arrogancie,ahd his Implidcfjcf, 
in commending his ownc things ; and for his tranflating. I can trace him 
i' faith. 0, he is the molt -open fellow^ living; L had as Ifcve as a 
fute, I were at it 



your intelligencer, wc ic au juyuc, uuu u-*"g, u^«-»n uim i.r.v. .^ «»«uj u Unc . 

leaches, the plaiers and all. Wee (hall (up together, ibone ; and then 

wee* le confp i re, i' faith . » 

Gal. 0,that Horace had ftaiedftill, here. 

Tib. So would not I : for both thefe would have turnd Pjt'up 

raw, then. 

Gal. What, mute ? 

Tib. I, as fifties i'faith : come, ladies, (hall we goe > 

Cyt. Wee wait you, fir. Butmiftris Chloe askes, if youluveno: 
a god to fparc, for this gentleman. 

Gal. Who, Captainc Tucca ? 

Cyt. 1 5 hee. 

Gal. Yes, if we can invite him along, he (hall be Mars. 

Chlo. Has Mars any thing to doe with Venus ? ' 

Tig. 0, moftofallyladie. 

Chlo. Nay, then I pray' let him be invited : and what (hall C*!' 

Tib. Mercury, miftris Chloe. 

Chlo. Mercury Mhat's a Poer,is't> 

Gal. No,ladie ; but fomewhat inclining that way : hec is a 

at armes. 

Chlo. h Herald u armesl good: and Mercury? pretty: 
todoewith Venus, too? 

Tib. A little w ith her face, lad ie . r fo . 
CHLo.'Tisverywell., pray let's goe, I lorigtobeat it. 

Cri. You (hall not only pray, but prevaile, lady. Come, f*» 
Captainc. 4 J 

Tuc. Yes, 1 follow :. but thou muft not talke of this no* &1 litdC 

Alb. Captaine, look here: mum. 
Dem. Ilegoe write > fir w 

Tuc. Doe, doe, ftay: there's a drachrne, to purcbafc ging^ brcJ 
for thy mu[e. * i 








Lupus, Hi s trio, L icto rs, M ino s, 

Mecccnas, Horace. 

POmc, let us talke, here; here wee may be private : (hue the dorc 
^Lictor. You are a player, you fay. 
His. I, ant plcafe your worihip. 

tup. Good: and how are you able to give this intelligence? 

His. Marry, fir, they directed a letter to me, and my fcllow-fharers. 

Lup . Speak lower, you are not now i" your theate,\ Stager : my fword 
knave. They directed a letter to you, and your fellow-flurers : forward. 

His. Yes, fir; to hire fomc of our properties-, as a.fceptcr, and a 
crownc, for Jo ve 5 and a caducew for Mercury : and a maUis , /'■ 
.Lup. CAaucettsi &nd petafiu ? Let me fee your letter. This is a con- 
juration; a confpiracy, this. Quickly, on with my buskins j l'| c ait a 
tragadie, i' faith.Will nothing bur our gods ferve tjhe(e P.qej s co prophane ? 
difparch. Player, I thank thee. The Emperour (hall take knowledge of 
thy good fervice. Who's there now? Look, knave. A cymn -nd ? 
fapter I this is good rebellion, now ?. 

• Lie. 'Tisyour'po'.hecary, fy,mafterMiN T o$; . 

•Lup. Whattcllft thou me of 'pothccarics„k.navc ? Tell him ; I have 
affaires of (tare, in hand; I can talke to no 'poilxcaries, now. Heart of 
me ! Stay the pothecary there. 

You (hall lee, I have fifh'c out a cunning peccc of plot now : TJiw 
have had Come intelligence, that their ptojeel is diiaover'd, and now have! 

vvelcome,fir ; rake rhe potion from him there ; I have an antidote more rfian 
you woteoffjfir; throw it on the ground there: So. Now fetch inthedoo; 
And yet we cannot tarrie to trie experiments, now : arrcft him, you (hall 
goe with me, fir ; Tic tickle you, 'pothecary ; Tie give you a glifter, i faith V 
Have 1 the letter? I: 'tis herc.Come,your/d/h?.<,LicTo Rs:The halfe pikes, 
and the halberds, take them downe from the /*w,thcrc. Playcr,affi ft me. 
1 Mec. Whither now, As 1 nius Lin'tis, with this armoric? 

Lup. I cannot talke now; 1 charge you,aifiit a\r. Trca-fon, trcafon- 

Hor. How? trcafon? 

I : if you love the Emperour, and the ftate, follow mc. 

Ml 1 v. Scene v. • 

. > 

LU 'Sj PL r\ II- 



D, Ju r. r A G a l l u s, C y t h b R i.syT 1 b u r. y. 
T ' H Al piusVChl o'EjTuc'c vChi s Hi 

Hnn-Mooi , PvktQus. 

(^>-ls, and GoJdelTes, t.ikc your Je vera I Heats, now, Mf.Ktu 
■ ^QchriyoUtwfaaw^rjdinyJuPi ttflflttfleeom; ..nd/ilemv. 
<~ R i .' In the name of (u i> 1 1 E r ; fifencc. 

Bb* f-r. 





-7-rrrourt hath tco clarified a voice. 
Her. The oyer of the cour 

Gal. Peace, M*T' , f rep rehenfion 5 let him alone. *Tis hi so f. 

OviD.Oh,he i* tnc f £° d an d proclaimc after Puce ;ms,cur hiah 

ficc. Mercury, goefor^ » • ^ ^ banquet> a 

pleafurc, to all the Dat*« 

Cm. Yes, fir. tupiTER, CRis.rhegreaa c , 

Gal. The great God jm , Qf ^ & s 

Of his licentious goodn elk, w 

H ce givi them aU free Ueence ^ To gg 

sitsM. % r ftriaiy to his £** sk& 

Than any man do's to his wife. anv ' Kc - 

^h^d?ot%r felfe more fritty to her God, 

Thanany woman do's to her husband. 

Bur, fincc it is no part of wifdom?, . 

In thefc dayes, to come into bonds-, 

It (hall be lawfull for every lover, 

To break loving oaths, 

To change their lovers, and make love to others, 

As the heat of every ones blood, 

And the fpirit of our NeRdt thall infpire. 

And Jupiter, fave Jupiter. . 

Tib. So mow wee may play the fools, by authontie. 

Her. To play the foole by authoritie, is wifdome. 

Jul. Away with your mattcric fentenccs,Jtf<w»"; they are too gn*> 

awl wife, for this meeting. , l 

Ovid. Mercury, give oiir jefteraftoo'^let him fit byj andte2« 

him of out catcs. , ,,--rtat 

Tuc. Do'ftheare, mad Jupiter? Wee'll have it cradled, Hce to 

fpeaks the6rftwifewotd,ftiallbemadecuckold. What fci it thou ?i 

not a good motion ? 

Ovid. Deities, are you all agreed ? 

All. Agreed, great Jupiter. ... ffl( 

Alb. Ihavcrcad inabook,thatto play the fool wifely, ishighw» w 

Gal. How now, Vulcan I will you be the firft wizard ? 

Ovid. Take hiswifc,MARs, and make him cuckold quickly 

Tuc. Come cockatrice. 

Ch l o . No, let me alone with h im, ]up 1 t eR : l'le make you 

fir, while you live againc j if there be twelve in a company ,that you 

the wifeft of 'hem. 
At b. No more; 1 wiU'not indeed, wife, hereafter; I lebc here :t m _ 
Ovid. Fillusabowle of Ne8*r, Ganymede : wee will drink 100 * 

daughter Venus. ^ 

Than any, &c. 
Nor any,&c, 
Slial needle. 
But,fuice } &c. 
It (hall, &c. 
To break, &c. 
As the, &c. 
And the, &c. 

take heed, 


G a l Lookc to to your wife Vulcan : JupiTE^bd^c7c^he7 
- Tib. Nay , let Mars looke to it: Vulcan muit cloe ,as V*2n* 
docs,beare. ' vt «us 

Tuc. Sirrah, boy: catamite. Look, you play Ganymede well no* 
you nave. Doe not fpill your Ne8*r. Carry your cup euen t fo. You 
fliould have rub d your face, with whites ofegges, you rafcall 5 till you" 
brows had (hone like our footy brothers here?as &M« 
or ha ftcept your lips m wine, till you made "hem fo plump, chat feSo 
might have bcenc jealous ofhem.Punck,^ meepinck, J 

Ovid. Here, daughter Venus, I drink to thee. 
Chlo- 'Thank you, good father Jupiter. 

rfcSS; | Wh7 ' m ° ther JUN ° : g ° ds and ficnds! vvhar > wilr ^ou fuffcr 
this ocular temptation ? . . 

Tib. Mars isinragd,he looks big, and begins to ftur, for ah^cr. 
Her. Well plaid, Captaine Mars. ° 

Tuc. Well faid, minftrell Momus: Imuftputvouin? muilp When 
will you be m good fooling of your felfe, fiddler ? never ? 

Her. O, tis our fafhion, to be filenr, when there is a better foole 
in place, ever. . 

• Tuc. Thank you, rafcall. 

Ovid. Fill to our daughter Venus, Ganymede , who fills her fa- 
tner with affe&ion. 

Jul. Wilt thou be ranging, Jupiter, before rriy face? 
Ovid. Why nor, Juno ? why fliould Jupiter {land in awe of thy 
face, Juno ? 7 

Jul. Becaufe it is thy wives face, Jupiter. 

Ovid. Whar,rtiall a husband be afraid of his wives face ? will (he paint 
Jt 10 horribly? We arc a king, cot-qucai-. 5 andwc will raigne in our plea - 
lures ; and we will cudgcll thee to death, if thou find fault with us. 

Jul. I wiil find fault with thee, King cucko id-maker •• whar, /hail the 
King of gods turnethc King of good fcllowes, and have no fellow in 
wickedncfle ? This makes our /»<vw,that know our prophanenefie, liv as 
prophaneas we: By my god-head, Jupiter ; I will jovne with all the 
other gods,hcre ; bind thee hand and foot \ throw theedown into theearth- 
and make a poore Poet of thee, if thou'abufe mee thus. 

Gal. A good fmm-toung'd Goddefle ; a right Juno. 

Ovid. Juno, we will cudgeH thee, Juno : we told thee foyefterdav 
when thou wert jealous Of us, for Thetis. 7 ' 

Pyr. Nay, to day fiicehad mee in inquifition too. 

Tuc. Well fajd,my fine PbrigUn frie, informe, informc. Give mee 
lomewinc (King of Heralds) I may drink to my cockatrice. 

Uvid. No more, Ganymede, wee will cudgel] thee, Juno : by 
^>tyx, wee will. J J J 

touftot'be'tOld^ *£^tJS! gtOW impudent ln irtit l uitie > arid they 

tl, P ?^°; TSV WCe wil1 knock our chinnc *&*& 0" r brcaft,anJ /hake 
"lee out of 0/;*j w , inco an oyfter-boa.e, fo? thy fc61ding. 

ftrnm" T "? n ls 11Qt ,on S enough to doe it, Jupiter, if all thy 
• u ^pcts,thouhaftainongthcftarrs, tookc thy pare. And there is never 
uarrin my fore-head, but (hall be a horne,if thou pcrfift to abufc me. 

Bb 5 Cri, 




0Trrag^; ngcr 'ft us, cot-queane , and wee wiU ^ 

Ovid. Wc tcnwic ' , t . quca mtie. 
dcr thee in pccccs, for thv cot q 

Cm. Another good J* ', ^ Cj( i 9fS I this boy fills not wine enough, 

Alb. 0,my ^^u'" one another. lh 

to nuke us k^ en °T n ' oC collied thy face enough, ftinkard. 

Tuc Northouh-tt £ oc Ar ^ 7 andmakethcm friends. 

Al». He P«y *f gf* have but a lame skinker, then. 
HER * "wTn", and pood Uvers,make true lovers : He fentence tfc, 
AL u B * «^h« lS«0K)tto,for (hame, drink your felvcs drunt, 
S^SffiE you two (houldcling together^efbrcourfc. 

S?>S?y doc well to preferre his tongue to fomeofficc, 

f0 ^ S c. C Egue (halbe gentman u(her to his wit,& ftil goe before it. 
Alb. An excellent fit office! . . 

Cm I and an excellent good jeft, befides. 
mRAVha^have youhireS Mercury^o cry your jefts you make? 

?rWh7;^ ^is your only block of rf 

- fXinnTo w a daves) to applaud other folks jefts. 
" H^T^wtt^ofc that aic not artificers themfclves. Vulca* 
vou nod; and the Tnirthofthe jeft droops. _ 

y Pyr Hchasfild tfrffcrfolong,till hisbrame fwims in it. 

Gal' What, doc we nod, fellow gods ? found mufick, and let us ftinie 

tjur fpirits with a fong. . 

Tuc. Doe, Apollo * thou art agoodmufician* 

Gal. What fayes Jupiter e 

Ovid. Ha? ha? 

H Gal. A foni 

OviD.Why v ._. # . „ 
Pla. Bacchus, what fay you? 

Tib. Ceres ? 

Plau. But, to this fong? 

Tib. Sing, for my part. 

Jul. Your belly weighes downe your head, Bacchus: b^ 05 
fong toward. 

Tib. Begin, Vulcan . 

Alb. What clfc? what clfc ? 
Tuc. Say, Jupiter- « 

Ovid. Mercury fc^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^B 

Cri. I, fey, fay' 



'Alee, our mirth begin* to die : 
Quicken it with turns, tnd win* i 
Adife )ottr no tes y you're out: fie, fie 
This drovzineJJ'e is an ill ftgne. 
tUe banifhhim the guire tfGods'j 



That drools agen ; . 
Then all dre men^ . 
For here's not one, but nods. 

t,,?I ID Vc Y t U( f thiS ^"^ BcnerallhcaFincfTcamongftour God- 
beads : tis fomewhat ominous. Apol Lo,coramind us lowdcrWicL and 
let Mercury, and Momus contend to pica fe, and revive our fences; 








Herm. -rite*, in u,«. .«. luJtIC Jrraiarj 

Our broken tunes we thus refaire • 
Cris. A*d-*t anfivere them againe, 

Running divifion on the pasting a yn: 
To celebrate this fea(l of fence, 

As free from fcanddl/, ^ ojft nee. 
Here is beautitfor the eye . 

For the eare, fact melodic; 
Ambrofiack odours, forthefmell; 
Delicious Nedar, for the ufte •' 
For the touch,* ladies wafte 5 
much doth all the reft exceUi 

h r VI i?\J :ThiS ^"aft us - Mercury , o«r Herald- o 0e froni 
our felfe,the great god Jupiter, to the great Empcrour , • Aug u ™ 
CfiSAR : An3 command him, irom us (ofWe bountie be hath recei- 
ved his fir-name, Augustus) that for a thank-ofierihg to our benefi- 
cence, hee prefently facrrficeasa difh to this banquet, his beautifull and 

fcold behind his back : Therefore, let her be facrifiYd. Command him 
this,MERcuRY,inourhi g hnanx-of Jupiter Altitonans. 

Jul. Stay, feather-footed Mercury, and reJI Augustus, from us 
the great Juno Saturn* 5 if hee think ft, hard to doe, as '[upiTer 
hath commanded him and fcerificehis daughter, that hee had better to 
doe fo ten times than fuftrbcrto love thcwcH-nos'J Poet, Ovr D; whom 
hee M doe wel to whip, or afe-to bee whipr, about the capi olL for 
toothing her, m her follies; r 3 

AU j v. Scene 


C *M^ ME r COeNAS > H ° RAC *' Lui>us > Histr I0 , 
Minos, Lictoks, Ovid, G a l i. us , Ti eu l- 

lus, 1 ucca, Crispinus, Aleiqs.Her- 


Ris,Pl auti a, CHloe. 

Vy Hat fight is this? Meccsn'as ! Horacf. ! fay ! 

Or „» l XC r W l OU . r fcnccs ? Doc we l*«e ? and fee P 
"r» are thefe but rmaginarie obicds 

tlr f T tf!ce ■ Are rhc v *w cods r 




Evens my foule, »«h ^ „ 
There is a panther wbofc ^ ^ ^ Qn hw 
k,a, » I» W.U fttike thee dead : turne 
, toji«r. with her owne deatn. 


?).,- ! Wbacmeanes imperiall C*sar ? 
r « wt«.MvDuld you have me let the ftnimpet live 








K KffS *■ ** not foUow ' d b * the fcat > Maftef ' 
Say, fir, what are ycu ? 

1 play Vulcan, fir. 
Bur, what are you, fir ? 
Your citizen, and jeweller, ur. 

v./-,. And what are you, dame? 

Chlo, I play Venus, forfootn. 

Cas . I aske not, what you play t but, what you arc ? 

Chlo. Your citizen, and jewellers wife, fir. 

Cas. And you, good fir ? 

Cm. Your Gentleman, parcell-p^, fir. 

C/es . O , that prophaned name I 
And are thefe feemly company for thee, 
Degenerate monfter ? all the reft I know ^ 
And hate all knowledge, for their hateful! lakes. 
Arc you, that firft the </««#$ infpir'd > 
With skill oE their high natures, andtbeir powers, 
The firft abufcrs of their ufc-full light ; 
Prophaning thus their dignities, m their formes : 
And making them like you, but counterfeits ? 
O , who (hall follow vertue, and embrace her, 
When her falfe bofome is found nought but aire ?. 
And yet, of thofe embraces, Centtum fpring, 
Thatwarre with humane peace, and poyfon men. 
Who (hall, with greater comforts, comprehend 
Her unfeenc being, and her excellence j 

When you, that teach, and (hould eternize her 3 

Live, as (hec were no law unto your lives : 

Nor liv'd her fclfe,but with your idle breaths ? 

If you think gods but faind and vertue painted, 

Know, we fuftain an a&uall refidence 5 

And with the title of an Emperour, 

Retain his fpirit, and imperiall power : 

By which ( in impofition too remine, 

Licentious Naso, for thy violent wrong, 

In Toothing the declin'd affections 

Of our bale daughter ) we exile thy feet 

From all approach, to our imperiall court, 

On pain of death : and thy mif-sottcn Love 

Commit to patronage, of iron doorcs ; 

Since her foft-heartod fire cannot contain her. 


Mec. O , good my lord 5. forgive s be like the gods. 

HoR. Letroyall bountie* (Casar) mediate. 

CiEs. There is no bountie to be ihevv'd to fucli, 
As have no reall goodncfle : Bountie is 
A fpice ol vertue : and what vcrtuous z£t 
Can take cffe& on them, that have no power 
Of equall habitude to apprehend ir y 
But live in worihip of that idol!, vice, 
As if there were novcrtue,but in (hade 
Of ftrong imagination, meerlycnforc't ? 
this (hewes their knowledge is meere ignorance $ 
Their far-fetcht dignitic of foule, a phanfic; 
And all their fquare pretext of gravitic 
A meere vain-glory : hence, away with 'hem. 
1 will prefcrre for knowledge, none, but fuch 
As rule their lives by it, and canbccalme 
All fea of humour, with the marble trident 
Of theit ftrong fpirits : Others fight below 
With gnats, and ihadowes, others nothing know. 

ql/# 1 v . Scene v 1 1. 

Tucca, Crispinus, P y r t; u s, Horacf, Meccc 

n a s, Lupus, Hi str i o. 


\)\7 Hat's become of my little ponke , Venus , and the poult- foot 
v v ttinkard, he* husband ? ha ? 

Cri. O, they are rid home i" the coach, ss firf* as the wheclcs can run. 

Tuc. God Jupiter is banifh'r, I heare J and his cockatrice, J u n o 
lock't up. 'Heart, an' all the Poetrie in Parnajjus get me to bee a player a- 
gain, Tie fell 'hem my (hare for a fcftercc. But this is bumonus H o- 
R a c e, that goat-footed envious (lave •, hee's turn'd fawnc now, an infor- 
mer, the rogue : 'tis he© hasbetraid us all. Did you not fee him, with the 
Emperour, crouching ? 

Cri. Yes. 

Tuc. Well, follow me. Thou (halt libcil, and flccudgell the rafcall. 
Boy, provide me a truncheon. Revenge (hall gratulatc him, tarn Marti, 
ijuim Mercurio. 

Pyr. I, but Matter; take heed how you give this out: Horace is a 

Cri. •Tistruc, in troth I they fay, he's valiant. ° 

Tuc. Valiant ? fo is minearfe ; gods, and fiends ! Me blow him into 
aire, when I meet him next: He dare*riot fight wiih a puck-fift. 

Pyr. Matter, here he comes. 

Tuc. Where? Jupiter fa veched,. my good Poet ^ my noble Pro- Bnwtpagh 
P h " ; my little fat Horaces I feornetwbear the rogue i' the Court; and '•" 
Maluted him, thus faire, becaufe he fhould fufpe-ft' nothing, the rafcall : 
Come , wee'll goe fee ho.v forward our journey-man is toward the un- 
truflingofhim. 7 

Cri. Doe you heare, Captaine ? lie write nothing in it but inno- 
cence ; 



- - ~ ' foiurc I am innocent. 

ccnce : bccaufe I m™L you not the Empcrour for your re;vatd 

now, Lupus? 

Mhc. Stay, Asi^^5 tan aof L».« . 
Y0Uja ua your fta^cr and y^^ 

1 hc T2t T thanks, to bee fent hence > 
Than ^riSfSL jeft on, jeft on. 

His ^i,fc unworthy sroome. Lup. 1,1, tis good. 

-I hy gtl «w«h Xauj mirth> 

TteS owne prodigious malice s and pretending 
To bee the props, and columncs of his fafctie, 
The guards unto his pcrfon,andh,s peace, 

DimSbe it moft, with their ialfe lapwing-cries. • . 

Lup Good. C*sar mall know of this jbeleeveit. 

Mec. Casar doth know it (wolfe) and to his knowledge, 
Hec will ( I hope) reward your bafe endevours. 
" Princes that will but heare, or give acceffe 
a T fuch officious fpies, can ne're be fafc : 
" They take in poyfon, with an open care, 
" And, free from danger, become flavesto fcarc. 

Ad. iv. Scene vm. 



Aniftu the Court > Let me be banifh't life j 
Since the chiefe end of life is there concluded : 
Within the Court, is all the kingdome bounded, 
And as her (acred fpheare doth comprehend 
Ten thoufand times fo much, as fo much place 
In any part of all the Empire dCc ; 
So every body, moving in her fpheare, 
Conra ins rcn thoufand times as much in him, 
As any other, her choice orbe excludes. 
As in a circle, a magician, then 
Is fafc, againfttbeipiritjhe excites; 
But out of it, is fubjeft to his rage, 



. »! 


And lofcrh all the vcrtue ofjiis arte : 

So I, exil'd the circle of the court, 

Lofe all the good gifts, that in it I 'joy'd. 

« No venue currant is, but with her (tamp t 

« And I no vice vicious, bbunch'? with her white hand* 

The Courts theabftraft of all Rome* deferr- 

And my dcare Julia, th'abftrafl: of the court. 

Mce thinks, now I come neerc her, I refpire * 

Some aire of that late comfort, I receiv'd • 

And while the evening, with her raodeft vaile 

Gives leave to fuch poore fliaddowes as my fetftJ 

To fteale abroad, I, like a hcart-lefle S ho(r, 

Without the living body of my Love, 

Will here walk, and attend her. For I know 

Not farre from hence, fhee is imprifoncd, ' 

And hopes, of her drift guirdian, to bribe 

So much admittance, as to fpeak to me, 

And chccrc my fainting fpirits, with her breath. 






i v. Stehe i x; 

\ ) v 


O- ■■ 
Vid? my Love? 
Jul. Here? and r 
With both our -fortunes, differing, fifct Out fefveg 'V ^ "v 
Both one ; and yet divided, as oppoi'd ?• ■ "' ' ' 

, heavenly Ju 

e oui- ietvU- 

That are their flaves, be. fo mthdawngir-ruIcV * 
lie call my felfe downc to thee; If I; die ' "' < l "• 
1.1c ever live with thee : na height of oirth ■' ■ ■ 
UJ place, of dutic, or of cruell power, ' 

*- x.c uc wiru tnce. it the formes,-! hold : * Js ' : '■ 

Now m my foule, be made one fubftarice with *fo w I nil! 

That foule immortall -and the ihm Vis now . ™ : 

^eath cannot raze th'afreds, fl, cc noWytfam-tV' ' ' 

*na then, may face be any where fhee W iH -■"'' V" • ni 

When death fets both in their difolv il fc£«5 r 

" "no child, nor father : then efctffltif: ''< 
I rnml ' ~ any tem PoraIl re'fpeclf. ' 

AndTet' m J K° VI l> t3kc me ifl *«**. i 
Ovm ^ ^ m X f 0We into thy brcTl. 
vid. O, ftay, my Loveuhehopcs thbu dbft to H«W 

r ' 

tiumber m*. 


Of thy quick death, and of thy future life. 

Arc not authcnticall. Thou choofcft death. 

So thou might* joy thy love , in th other h!c. 

But know (my princely love ) when thou art dead* 

Thou only muft furvive in perfect foule* 

And in the foule, are no afTe-fhons : 

We po.vre out our anions with out bloud; 

And with our blouds atfcdions, fade our loves. 

"No life hath love in fuch fweet ftate, as this; 

« No effence is Co dcare to moodie fenfe, 

** As flefli, and bloud ; whofe quinteflencc is fenfe. 

" Beautie, compos'd of bloud, and flefli, moves more. 

"And is more plauliblc to bloud, and flefhj 

"Than fpirituall beautie can be to the fpirir* 

Such apprehenfion, as we have in dreames 

( When fleepe, the bond of fenfes, locks them up ) 

Such (hall we have, when death deftroyes them quite. 

If love be then thy object, change not life 5 

Live high, and happy ftill : I ftill below, 

Clofe with my fortunes, in thy height (hall joy. 

Jul. Ay me, that venue, whofe brave eagles wings 
With every ftroke.blow ftarrs, in burning heaven; 
Should like a fwallow ( preying toward ftormes ) 
Fly clofe to earth : and with an eager plume, 
Purfue thofe objects, which none elfc can fee, 
But feeme to all the world, the emptic aire. 
Thus thou (poore Ovid ) and all vertuous men 
Muft prey like fwallowes 3 on invifible foode- 
Purfoing flics, or nothing : and thus love, 
And every worldly phanfie, is tranfpos'd, 
By worldly tyrannic, to wl?at plight it lift. 
O, father, fince thou gav'ft me not my mind, 
Strive not to rule it : Take, but what thou gav'ft' 
To thy difpofure : Thy affections 
Rule not in me ; I muft beare- all my griefes 3 
Let me ufe all my pleafurcs : vert^ous love 
"Was never fcandall to a GoddciTe ftate. 
But, Vice's inflexible 1 and, my deare Love, 
Thy life may chance be (hortned^by the length 
Of my unwilling fpeecbes to depart. 
Farewell, fweetlife : th6ugh thou be yet exil'd 
1 n orhcious Court, enjoy me amply, ftill • 
My foule, in this my breath, enters thine' cares 
And on this turrets floore, will. I lie dead, 
Till we may meet againe. In this proud heighr 
I kneele beneath thee in my proftrate love,* ' 
And kifte the happy fands, that kilTc thy feet. 

Great Jove fubmits a fcepter, to a cell 5 
, And lovers, ere they part, will meet in hell. 
Ovid. Farewell, all companies and if I couW 



All light with thee : hells fhade fhould hide my browes, 
Till thy dcare beauties beames rcdecrnd mv vowes. 

Jul. Ovid, my Love: alas, may w C not flay 
A little longer (think'ft thou) undifccrn'tl? 

OyiD. For thine owne good, furc goddeiTe, doe not ftay. 
Who would ingagea firmament of fires 
Shining in thee, for me, a falling ftarre ? 
Be gone, iwcet lifc-bloud : if I fhould difecrne 
Thy fclfc buttouch'r, for my fake, I mould die. 

Jul. I will be gone, then ; and not heaven it felfe 
Shall draw me back. Ovid. Yet Julia, if thou wilt, 
A little longer, ftay. Jul. I am content. 

Ovid. O, mightie Ovid ! what the fvray of heaven 
Could not retire, my breath hath turned back. 

Jul. Who fhall goc firft, my love? my palTionatc eyes 
Will not endure to fee thee turne from mee. 
Ovid. If thou goe firft, my foule will follow thee. 
Jul. Then we muft ftay. Ovid. Ay me, there is no ftay 
In amorous pleafurcs: if both ftay, both die. 
I hcarethy father 5 hence, my cleitie, 
Fcarc forgeth founds in my deluded cares- 
I did not heare him : I am mad with love. 
There is no fpirir, under heaven, that works 
With fuch illufion : yet fuch witchcraft kill me, 
Ere a found mind, without ir, favc my life. 
Here, on my knees, I worfhip thcbleft place 
That held my goddefle ; and the loving aire, . 
That clos'd her body in his filken armes : 
Vain Ovid! kneele not to the place, nor aire 5 
Slice's in thy heart : rife then, and worfhip there. 
"The trueft wifdome filly men can hive, 
"Is dotage, on the follies of their nYfh. 


• f 


Adl v. Scene i. 

Caesar, Mecccnas, Callus, Tibullus, 

Horace, Elites Ro. 

WEc, that have conqucr'd ftill, to fave the conquer d, 
And lov'd to make inflidions- fear'd, not felt - 
Griev' reprove, and joyful! to reward, 
More proud of reconcilement than revenge, 
Kefumc into the late ftate of our love, 
Worthy Cornelius GAi.tus,and 
rou both arc gentlemen; you, Cornelius, 
A fouldierof rcriownc ; and the firft Provojl, 
|nar ever let our Roman Eagles flie 
Oo fwarthy Egypt, quarried with her fpoilcs. 
et ( not to beare cold formes, nor mens out-tcrmes, 

C c 




1 Pomfl^ 

-. — i • Mr 'i £r*< and lives of men) 
S^Hfoi teed garlands.crownc your gcntrie : 

Mich is, of all th! faculties on icartb. 

True borne, and nurft with all the Sciences. 

Shee can fo mould Rome, and her monuments, 

Within the liquid marble of her lines 

That they (hall ftand frefh, and miraculous, 

Even, when they mix with innovating duftt 

In her fweet ftrcams (hall our brave Roman fpints 

Chafe, and fwim after death, with their choifc deeds 

Shining on their white moulders ; and therein 

Shall Tj6er 9 and our famous rivers fall 

With fuch attraction, that th'ambitious line 

Of the round world mall to her center flirink, 

To heare their mufick : And, for chefe high parts, 

C ar {hall reverence the Pierian Arts. 
Mec. Your Majcfties high grace to poefe, 

Shall ftand gainft all the dull dctraaions 

Of leaden foules • who ( for the vain afTumings 

Of fomc, quite worthlcfle, of her foveraigne wreaths) 

Contain her worth ieft Prophets in contempt. 
Gal. Happie is Rome of all eatths other States, 

To have Co true, and great a prefident, 

For her inferiour fpirits to imitate, 

As Caesar is; who addeth to the Sunne, 

influence, and luftre : in encrcafing thus 

His infpirations, kindling fire in us. 
Hor. Phoebus himfelfc fhallkneele at Caesars flirine, 

And deck it with £<i)-garlands dew'd with wine, 

To quit the wormip Caesar does to him: 

Where other Princes, hoifted to their thrones 

By fortunes paffionatc and difoidercd power , 

Sit in the ir he ight, like clouds, before the Sunce, 

Hindring his comforts j and (by their exceflc 

Of cold in vertue, and crofle heat in vice) X 

Thunder, and tempeft, on thofe learned heads 

Whom c a e s a r with fuch honour doth advance J 

wlL B ; A1 , hum / ne bufi nefle fortune doth command 
Without all order . and with her blind hand, 
Shee, blind, beftows blind gifts i that ftill have nurft 
They fee not who, nor how, but ftill, the wotft. 

Caes. Caesar for his rule, and for forauch ftutfc 

As fortune puts in his hand, Ml difpofe it 
(As if his hand had eyes, and foule,in it) 
With worth and judgement. * Hands, that part with gifts, 




"Or will rcftrain their ufe, without defcrt, 
"Or with a mifery, numm'd to vermes right, 
« Work , as they had no foulc to governc them, 
" And quite rejc<2 her ; fev'ring their eftatcs 
" From humane order. Whofoever can, 
« And will not cherifh vertue, is no man. 

Eques. ViRGiL is now at hand, imperial! Caesar. 

Caes. Romes honour is at hand then. Fetch a chaire, 
And fct it on our right-hand ; where 'tis fir, 
Romes honour, and our owne, fhonld ever fit. 
Now he is come out of Campania, 
I doubt not, he hath finimt all his ^Entids, 
Which, like another foulc, I long t'enjoy. 
What think * you three, of Virgil, gentlemen, 
(1 hat arc of his profeflion, though rankt higher) 
Or Horace, what faift thou,thtt art the pooreft, 
And likelyeft to envic, or to detract? 

Hor. Caesar fpcaks after common men, in this, 
To make a difference of me, for my poorcnefle : 
As if the fikh of povertie funk as deep 
Into a knowing fpirit, as the bane 

Of riches doth, into an ignorant foulc. \ 

No, Caesar, they be path-Icfle, moorilri minds* 
Thar being once made rotten with the dune 

Of damned riches, ever after finlac .. - <. 

Beneath the fteps of any villany.- 

But knowledge is the NcRar, that keeps Tweet 
A. pcrfed foule, even in this grave of finnc 5 
And for my foule, it is as free, as Caesar*^. 
For, what I know is due, I'le give to all 
" He rhat detracts, or envies vertuous mcrir 
"Is ftill the covetous, and the ignorant fpirit. 

Caes. Thanks, Horace, for thy free, and wholforne marpnefle 
Which plcafeth Caesar more, than. fervile fawncs. 

A Hatter d Prince foonc rumesnhc Prince of fooles. 
*" . , y tke> vvec '. n P ut . n 9 d in r erence more 

CtUtti, libnL 

--~». x ;uu B t uiiu oi a reciinca ipiru 
By many revolutions of difcourfe 
fin his bright reafons influence) refin'd 
J-rom all the tartarous moods of common men* ■ 
Bearing the nature, and fimilitudc 
yt a right heavenly bodic; moft fevere 
in tiilnon, and collection of himfelfc r 
And then as dcare, and confident, as Jovh. 

O al And yet fo chaftc, and tender is his eare, 
]n fuffcrmg any fy liable to parte , * 

• nar v. he thinks, may become the bonour'd nama 
v*. ifluc to Ins fo cxamin'd CclCc ■ 

'Cc 2 







In his ownc F** he ** *g **£- . 
As if his mmds pec *g ^ ^ 

c ?s d tt»^ of h f T !i s ne worth > 

1IB. our, u n_ btote ^ morc than f erves . 

?!J ^vS/ That, which he hath writ, 
t it hS cVScmcnt/labourd and diftiU'd 
Though all the necdfull ufes of our hves, 
That could a man remember but his lines, 
He mould not touch at any fenous point, 
But he might breathe his fpirit out of him. 

Caes. You meane, he might repeat part ot his works, 
As fit for any conference, he can ufe ? 

Tib. True, royall Caesar. Caes. Worthily obferv'd: 
And a moft worthy vertue in his works. 
What thinks matcriall Horace, of his learning ? 

Hor. His learning favours not the fchoole-like glefle, 
That moft confifts in debiting words, and termes, 
And fooneft wins a man an emptie name : 
Nor any long, or far-fctcht circumftance, 
Wrapt in the curious generalties of Arts : 
But a dircft, and analytic ({ifammc 
Of all the worth and fir ft effects of Arts. 
And for his poefte, 'tis fo ramm'd with life, 
That it fhall gather ftrength of life, with being, 
And live hereafter, more admir'd, than now. 

Caes. This one confenr, in all your doomes of him, 
And mutuall loves of all your fcvcrall merits, 
Argues a truth of merit in you : all. 





Caesar, VI roil, Mecccnas, Gallus, 


CEc, here comes Virgil ; we will rife and greet him : 

<k u i-S me u to - C r ESA , Rj VlB - G1L - Caesar, and Virgil 
Shall differ but in found 5 to Caesar, Virgil 

(Of his exprefled greatneffe) (hall be made 
A lecond fir-name, and to Virgil, Caesar. 
Where are thy famous ^Eneidsl doe us grace 
To let us fee, and furfct on their fight 

Vir. Worthlcfic they arc of Caesars gracious eyes, 
If they were perfect much more with their wa °s * 
Which yet are more, than my time could flSE ' 
And could great Caesars expectation PP Y 
■Be Jatishcd with any other fcrvicc 
I would not fheir them. Caes. Virgil is too niodeft; 
Or fceks, in vain, to make our longings more 


SI ' 

Shew thcm,fwcct Virgil. Vjrg. Then, infuch ducfeare 

As fits prcfenters of great works, to C.psar, 

I humbly {hew them. Caes. Let us now behold 

A humane foule made vifible in life ; 

And more refulgent in a fcnfclefTe paper, 

Than in the fenfuall complement of Kings. 

Rcadc,reade, thy felfe, deare Virgil ; let not me 

Prophane one accent, with an untuned tongue : 

«Bcft matter, badly fhownc, fhewes worfe,than bad. 

See then, this chairc, of purpofe fct for thee 

To rcade thy Poeme in : rcfufc it not. 

" Vertue, without preemption, place may take 

' { Above beft Kings , whom only fhec fhould make. 

Virg. Jt will be thought a thing ridiculous * 

To prcfent eyes, and to all future times 
A grofle untruth ; that any Poet ( void 
Of birth, or wealth, or temporull dignitic ) 
Should, with decorum, tranfeend Caesars chairc. 
« Poore venue rais'd, high birth and wealth fet under, 
" CroflTeth heav'ns courfes, and makes worldlings wonder. 

Caes. The courfi- of heaven, and fate it felfe, in this 
Will Caesar crofTc; much morc all worldly cuftome. 

Hor. a Cuftome, in courfc of honour, ever crres : 

" And they are heft, whom fortune leaft prefers. 

Caes. Horace hath (but more ftriaiy),fpokc ourthouohts. 
The va ft ruJe fvvingc of gcnerall confluence 
Is, in particular ends, exempt from fenfe : 

And therefore reafon (which in right flaouid be 
The fpeciall rector of all harmonie) , 

Shall fliew we arc a man, diftind by it, 
From thofe, whom cuftome raptcth in her pr cane. 
Afcend then, Vrigil: and where firft, by chance 
We here have turn'd thy bookc, doe, thou firft rcade. 

Virg. Great Caesar hath his will: I will afcend. 
'Twere fimple injury to his free hand, 
That fweeps the cob-webs, from un-ufed vertue, 
And makes her fliine proportion'd, to her worthy 
To be more nice to entertain his grace - } 
Than he is choife, and libcrall to afford it. 

Cars. Gentlemen of our chamber, guard the doores, 
And let none enter; peace. Begin, good Virgil. 

Virg. Meane Khik^the shes 'gin tb under • and in talk 
O t that, fell p owing flormes of fleet, and baile : 
T "c Tyrian lords, and Trojan youth, each where 
mth Viinus Dardane * neoheiv, noiv, in feare 

\.J ut for fevera// fieher through the plaine ; 
Wulit flouds come rppli^g from the bilk amaine. 
UlDO a cave, The Trojan * Prinee the fame 
^>teduvon.The,e,e*nk * dame. 
'oat bath the charge of -marriage, firjt oave figne 

C c 3 

2 9? 

Virg.M 4: 



* .tncaj. 








TntTthts contrail ; fire, and aire dtd tat, 
As guih) of the match h and from the htll . 

T/^Nymohs, rift ft***** <**/'" r«/«^. 
//«* hrrf legan their bane 3 77;* <ty ^ *>W 
Of J their ills: For no», nor rumours found, 
Nor nice rt&e* of State nun* Dido ought , 
Her love, no longer no*, by flealth ft fought t 
Shee calls this wedlock , and mth that fatre name 
Covers her fault. Forth-with the bruit, and fame, 
Through all the great ejl Lybian tonnes, if gone-, 
Fame 1 a feet evill, than which is fwifter none: 
Tim 'moving growes, and flying gathers flrength - 
Little atflrfl, and fearful! • but at length 
Shee dares attempt the skies, and flatting proud 
with feet on ground, her head doth pierce a cloud I 
This child, our parent earth, flird up with [fight 
Of all the gods , brought forth -, and, as fome write, 
Shee was lafl ftfter of that Oiant * race, 

That thought to fcale Jo ves court -,rigbt fwift of pace, 

And fwifter, far, of wing • a monfler vafl, 

And dreadful!. Look, how many plumes are plac't 

On her huge corps, fo many waking eyes 

Stick underneath : and (which may flranger rife 

In the report) as many tongues jhee be ares, 

As many mouths, as many limning tares. 

Nightly , in midfl of all the heaven, free flies, 

And through the earths dark frado^frreeking, cries ; 

Nor doe her eyes once bend, to tafleifweet fleep : 

By day, on tops of houfes, flue doth keep, 

Or on high towers ; and doth thence affright 

Cities, and townes of mofl confpicuow fite. 

As covetous free if of tales, and lies i ' ■ 

As prodigaU of truth : Thu monfler, &c. 


^3 v. Scene \ i £ 

Lupus, Tucca, Crispinus, Demetrius, HrsTM* 
Lictors, Caesar, V,r OIL> MecJbnaj, 
Callus, Tibumus, Horace, 

Equit 1 s Ro. 

ta» . «. We haveachf^K^ t l"H ^ 
I have matter of danger, and ftar^ rr>;«. 




Lup. A friend to Casar. One that for Caesars good wn.,n 
{peak with Caesar. & ' UUKl 

Caes. Who is't? look, Cornelius. 

EquEs 1. Asinius Lupus. 

Caes. O, bid the turbulent informer hence • 
We have no vacant care, now, to receive 
Th' unfeafon'd fruits of his officious tongue. 

Meg. You mud avoyd him there. 

Lup. I conjure thee as thou art Caesar, or rcfpcft'ft thine owne 
ftfetie; or the fafetie of the ftatc, Caes ar : Hcare me, fpeak with me 
Caesar 5 cis no common bufinclTe, I CO mc about, but fuchas, being 
neglcaed, may concerne the life of Caesar. ' a 

Caes. The life of Caesar ? Let him enter. Virgil kcettthvfoot 
EquiTES. Beare back there : whither will you ? keep hack 
Tuc. By thy leave good man ufher: mend thy perrukc- fo' 
Lup. Lay hold on Horace there 5 and on Meccc'nas, LiB m 
Romans , offer no refcue, upon your allegeance: Reade, royall Caesar' 
Ue tickle you, Satyre. ' " ,uu 

Tuc He will, amours, he will : He will fqueczeyou, Poet pilc kfift 
Lup. lie lop you off, for an unprofitable branch, you SatyrLll v , r l cr 
Tuc. I, and E p a au no * d as your patron, here, with his flagon 
chaine; Come,refigne .-Though twere your great grand-fathers, rhclaw 

bokefo him 11 " F * CO Mm ' my P 3rn y- colour ' d ^Msj 

Caes. What is this, Asinius Lupus? I under/land knot. 

Caes. Alibcll? . 

hj£*i VkT^ *? this "? RACE bis Mies in M B c«na s his 

houfc, here j I challenge ihepeiialtie of the lawes againft "hem 

A rV h ^ renv i mber 1 m r ^gge thcir l*ri berimes* before feme of 
tneic hungne Court-hounds (enr ic out. 

Caes. Shew it to Horace : Askehtm,ifhe know iu 
Lup. Knovv it ? His hand is at it, Caesar. 
Caes. Then 'tis no libell. 

Hor. Ic is the imperfect body of an Emblcme, Caesar, I began 
tor Mecosnas. ,3 3 " 

Lup. An Embleme ? right : Tim's greeke for a libell 
Uoe but marke, how confident he is. 

xt H °u * A ' tl(l man cannQt fcarc ' tr iou foolifh Tribune . 

Not, though the malice of traducing tongues, 

ihc open vaftnefle of a tyrannes eare, 

' he fenfelefle rigour of the wrefted la;ves. 

^r the red eyes of ftrain'd authoritic 

^.ould, m a point, meet all to take his life. 

"is mnocencie is armour gainft all thele. 

hereanE^ R /? Q i ^ im P^ n " [ ** «* Tee, fct met fee. Is not 
Caf* a pi- ? i ?T f **?>* Ea 8fe » J «or by C aesak ? ha ? Do's not 

W Ir 1 S C u C Ea ^ lc ? Anfwer «« ' ,vhat %eft thou ? 
^«c. Haft thou any cvafion, ftinkard * 







Lur. Noyce's turn ddumbc. He tickle you, Satyre. 

T„ P Doft thou pifli mc ? Give mc my long-fword 
Hor With reverence to great Caesar, worthy Romans 
Obfcrvc but this ridiculcus commenter : 
The foulc to my device, was in this D tfiu* 
Tim oft the ba[e and ravenous multitude 
S„rive),io\hare theses of fortitude. 
Which in this body, I have figur'd here, 

Lup LT A Vulture ? 1$ now, 'tis a Vulture. O, abominable ! mon.' 
ftrous.'monftrous! has not your Vulture a bcake? has it not lcgges?and 
rallons ? and wings ? and feathers ? 
Tuc Touch him, old 5«j*/w. 
Hor. And therefore muft it bean Eagle? 
Mec. Refpeft him not, good Horace : Say your device. 

Hor. A Vulture, and a Wolfe . 

Lup . A Wolfe ? good. That s I ; I am the wolfe. My name s Lupus, 

1 am meant by the wolfe. On,on, a Vulture, and a Wolfe • 

Hor. Preying upon the carcaffc of an Asse 

Lup. An Affe? Good ftill: That's I, too .lam the afle. 
You meane mc by the affe — — 
Mec. Wy thee, leave braying then. 

Ho r . If you will needs take it ,1 cannot with mqdeftie give it from yoj. 

Mec. But, by that beaft,the old Egyptians 
Were wont to figure in their Hierogljphick$ y 
Patience, Frugalitie, and Fortitude ', 
For none of which, we can fufpect you, Tribune. 

Caes. Who was it, Lupus, that inform'd you firft, 
This (hould be meant by us ? or was'c your comment ? 

Lup. No, Caesar : A player gave me the firft light o fit, indeed. 

Tuc. I, an honcft fycophant-like flavc, and a politician, befides. 

Caes. Where is that player? 

Tuc. He is without, here. 

Caes. Call him in. 

Tuc. Call in the player, there : Mafter/EsopE, call him. 
Equites. Player? where is the player? Beare back : None, but tie 
player, enter. ' 

Tuc . Yes : this gentleman, and his Achates muflr. 
Cri . 'Pray you, mafter u(hcr • wee'll ftand clofc, here. 
Tuc. 'Tis a gentleman of qualitie, this \ thoueh he be fomewhaiotf 
of clothes, I tell vee. C.omr /F.^nnc .Kd(>nk„,v:;r«:.'j «,uW? V^cU 

Lup. I, Caes a r -.this is hce. 

Caes. Let him be :whipt; Lictors, goc take him he 
And Lupus, for your fierce creduliric, 
One fit him with a paircof larger eares : 
1 is C a i: s a as doome,and mult not be revok't. 





We hate, to have our Court, and peace difturb'd 
With thefe quotidian clamours. See it done. 

Lup. Caesar. Caes. Gag him, we may have his filence. 

ViR. Caesar hath done like Caesar. Fa ire, and ;'u ft 
Is his award, againft thefe brainlefle creatures. 
'J is not the wholcfome fliarpe moralirie, 
Or moJcft anger of a Satyr ick fpirir, 
That hurts, or wound* the body of a State; 
But the finifter application 
01 the malicious, ignorant, and bafe 
Interpreter : who will diftorr, and faring 
The gcncrall fcope and purpofe of an authour, 
To hi* particular, and private fplecnc. 

C a e s. We know ir, our dcare Virgil, and efteemc it 
A moft diftior.eft pra&ice in that man, 
Will fccme too wittic in anothers workc. 
What would Cornelius GALLus,andTiBiiLLusf 

Tuc. Nay, but as thou art a man, doft hcare? a man of worHrin . , n A VS"?- 
honourable : Hold her,, rake thy chaine againc. fc^fflSSiff ^ 
What? doft thou think, Imcantt'havc kept it, bold boy > No- I did it" 
but to fright thee r I, to try how thou wouldft take h. What J will I turne 
Aarkc, upon my nends j or my friends friends ? I fcorne it with my th ee 
fouics. Come, I love bully Horace^s well as thou doft, I ; tisan hoieft 
"*«&** Give methy wrift. Helicon. Doft thou think, 1 cfecond 
eiea AW,«of there i all, againft rhec? ha? or thy noble IJi^cnnc 

here? 1 1c- turne ftager firft, and be whipt too: doft rhou fee, bullv> 
Caes. You have your will of Caesar « ufc % Roman <■ " 

Virgil (hall be your Prator- and ourfelfc 

Will here fit by, fj-^aator of your Ij^orts; 
And think it no impeach of royalty. 
Our eareis now too much prophand ("grave Maro) 
With thefe diftaftcs, to take thy facred lines i 
Put up thy book, till both the timeahd wee 
Be fitted with more hallowed circumftancc 
For the receiving fo divine a work. 
Proceed with your defigne. / , 

Mec. Gal. Tib. Thanks, to great Cals \r s 
arr?<\l\i TlBULLUS > d ™v you the iuditcment then, whirft Hbft*C8 

o IaJ* ^^fi^? iC ^^ g ^9P^^^ ^ ^-illtake our 
places here. L/am,alTift him. 

Hor. I am the worftaccufer, under heaven. 

Gal. Tur, you muft do't t 'Twill be noole mirth. 

Hor. I. take no knowledge, that they doe malisne me. 

II b. I, but the world takes kn6wledsc, 

Hor. Would the world knew, 
How heartily I wim , a foole fhoald hate toe. 

PoPT^-rr y °5 J"! P1TB H I What ? Will they arraigne my briske f^ R, , a t hlS P ?° re J° urnc y- m «™; ha ? Would I were abroad 

«*te my felfc turne ftinkard, already. But I muft let the belt face I have, 









r— n7nT""imdivinc, deft Horack, bring the wliorfouT . 

upon c no.v \ well ^1%. 'Make 'hem told up their fpread goI * 

fflSKtteSS?--* ™e courage, Ch,s P ? n , s ; 

9. . l.j^ ^anc DilW* 


i-ou^ man bad , i*»^^ 
°&: ^fiffiSS ? Doc not make divifion with thy ]eggS)f0i 

Tuc Thou (halt ice ■**.■* 

Caes What's he, Horace? r 

u Tnnlvknw him for a motion, Caesar. 

?u°c R * I am one of thy Commanders, Caesar; A manpffervke, 
and alton! My name is Pantilius Tucca : I have fervd , thy m 
aaainftMARKE Antony,!. 
s CA E r. Doeyouknovvhim,CoRNELius? 

Gal Hccs one, that hath had the muftring, or convoy of a con- 

panvnow "and then :'l never noted him by any other imploytncnt 

Caes. We will obferve him better. # 

T i b LicTOR,proclaime filcnce, in the Court. 

Lid In the name of Caesar, filencc. 

Tib. Let the parties,thc accufer, and the accufed, prefent 

tic The accufer, and the accufed 5 prcfentyour felvcsi 

in Court. 

Cm. Dime. Here. 

V I R . Readc the ind itcment 

Tin. Rufus Laberius Crispinus, and Demetrius Fannik, 

hold up your hands. Tou art, before this time, joyntly and feverady mdiki, 
and here prefeatlj to be arraigned, upon the Statute of Calumny, or La 
Remmia ( The one by the name c/Rufus Laberius Crispinus, tm 
Crispinas, Poctafler, find plagiary : the other, by the nmeofVm. 
trius FANNiuSjplay-drefTer, and plagiary) That you (not having tk 
feare of Phccbus, or his fhafts, before your eyes ) contrary to the peace of tit 
liege lord, Augustus C^sar, his erowne and dignitie, andagain^tk 
forme of a Statute, in that cafe made, and provided ; have moft ignerant\),\<* 

wfweryiui 4rt you guih'ie, ornotgu'dtiel 

Tuc. Not guilt ie, fay. 

Cri. Deme. Not guiltie. 

T i b. How will youoe tryed > 

Tuc. By the Roman Gods, and the noble ft- *wm«. 

Cri. Deme, By the Roman Gods, and the nobleft Romans. 

Vir. Here fits Mecocnas, and Cornelius Gallus. 
Are you contented to be tryed by thefc ? 

Tuc. I , Co the noble Captainc may bee ioyn'd with them in 
million, fay. . 

Cri. Deme. I, fo the noble Captainc may bee ioyn'd w^ tb 
in cQtnmiffion, 

V • i r . Wbac fayes the plaimifc ? ^ 



Hor, lam content. 
ViR* Captainc, then take your place. 

Tuc. Alas, my worfliipfull Pratoti 'tis more of thy gent'nefle, than 
of my deferving, I wuflc. But fince it hath plcas'd the Court to make 
choice of my wifdomc, and gravitie; come, my calumnious varlcrs: 
Let's hearc you tarke for your (elves, now, an houre or two. What can 
you fay ? Make a noyfe. Ait, act. 

VlR. Stay,turne, and take an oath firft. Tou fljall fweare^ 
By thunder^arting Jove, the King of gods ; 
And by the Genius of Augustus Caesar'; 
By your on-ne white and uncorrupted fouUs % 
And the deep reverence of eur Romaue juftice- 
To judge this cafe, with truth and e.juitie-. 
As bound, by your Religion, and your Laves. 

Now read the evidence : But firft demand 
Of cither prifoncr, if that writ be theirs. 

Tib. Shew this unto Crispinus. Is it yours ? 

Tuc. Say, I : what ? doft thou ftand upon ir, pimp ? Doe not denie 
thine owne MiNERVA,tby Pallas, the ilTueofthy brainc. 

Cri. Yes, it is mine. 

Tib. Shew that unto Demetrius. Is it yours ;» 
Dbm. It is. 

Tuc There's a father, will not deny his owne baftard . now, I 
warrant thee. 

Vir. Read them aloud. 

Tibu. Rampe up my genius ; be not retrpgrade : 

But boldly nominate afpade, a fpade. 

what, jhaU thy lubricatt and glibberie Mufe 

Live, as fbee were defuncl, life vtinke in (fewest 
(Tuc. Excellent.') - i 

Alas I That nere no modems confequence 

To have cot hur nail busk ins frighted hence. 

No, teach thy incubus to Poetize-, 

And throw abroad thy fpurious fnotteries 

Vpon that puft-up lump of barmy froth 
(Tuc Ah, ha!) ' 

Or clumfte chilblain d }*dgement • that with oath 

Magnificates his merit 5 and befpawtes \ ' 

The confeious time, with humorous fome,andb,awles 

As if his organons of fenfe would crack 

The ftnewes of my patience. Break, his back, 

O Poets aU 9 andfome: For now wee lift 

Offlrenuout vengeance to clutch the fjft. 

... » . . Subfcri. Cris. 

luc I marry.thjs was written like a Hercules in 
^ae. Excellently well' threatned! 
vir. And asftrangely worded, C^sar. 

C^s. Wee obferve ir. 

Vir. The other, now. 

] uc This's a fellow ofa good prodigal! tongue too,thi>lldowell. 







T^ o :r Mufc « » mind fit Muntruftng a Poet; 

Tis - Tift* — iA| ^/7;/ w /jr " : 


ri£ Satyricall *•*•«!», "^ Lyricall ftrnfoft 
- Arc thou there, boy?) 

'"if /w" the moji f**, h ' m f el f e dotb advance 
with much felfe-Jove, *nd more arrogance. 

('Tuc Good againc.) 
And (fot thac l mul(l not he tf,ou & ht a plater) 
j could tell )0u bee rrere a fr an/later. . 
/ know the authors from whence bee has ftole, 
And could trace him tso.but that I underhand "hcmnotfulfr^ 

(Tuc That line is broke loofc from all his fcllowes : chaii* 

him up (horter, doc.) ■ . . 

The be} note I can give you to know htm iy i 

Is, thfit he keeps gallants company-, 

whom I cwld iw]», in time jbould him feare y 

Left after they buy repentance too deare. 

Subfcri. Dbme. Fan; 

Tuc. Wcllfaid. This carries' palmc with it. 
Hor. And why, thou rootly gull? why (hould they feare? 
When haft thou knownc us wrong, or tax a friend? 
I dare thy malice, to betray it. Speak. 
Now thou curl' ft up, thou poore and nafty fnakc, 
And lhrink'ft thy poys'nous head into thy bofome : 
Out viper, thou that cat'ft thy parents, hence. 
Rather, fuch fpecklcd creatures, as thy fclfe, 
Should bee efchew'd,.and lhun'd: fuch, as will bite 
And gnaw their abfent friends, not cure their fame; 
Carch at the loofcft laughters, and affect 
To be thought jeftcrs; fuch, as can devife 
Things never fccne T or heard, t'impaire mens names, 
And gratifie their credulous adversaries; 
Will cany tales, doc bafeft offices, 
Chcriih divided fires, and ftill increafc 
New flames, out of old embers • will reveale 

Each fecret that's committed to their truftj 

Thcfc be black (laves : Romans , take heed of th.efe. 

Tuc. Thou twang ft right, little Hor. ace; they be indeed 

A couple of chap-falne cuncs. Come, We of the bench, 

Let's rife to the urne i and condemne 'hem, quickly; 
ViR. Before you goe together (worthy Romans) 

Wee are to tender our opinion ; 

And give you thofe inAruflions, that may addc 

Unto your even judgement in the caufe : 

Which thus we doe commence. Firft you muft know 

i hat where there is a true and perfect merit 

There can bee no dejeaion ; and the feome' 

Of humble bafencfle, oftentimes ,fo works 

Jn a high foule upon the grofTcr fpirir, 


To'et after. 

I 01 

That to his bleared and offended fenfc, 
There fecmes a hideous fault blaz'd in the object $ 
When only the difeafe is in his eyes. 
Herc-hcnce it comes, our Horace now ftands tax't 
Of impudence, felfe-lovc,and artogance, 
By thefe, who (hare no merit in thcmfelves ; 
And therefore, think his portion is as final I. 
For they, from their owne guilt, afliirc their foulcs, k , 

If they (hould confidently praife their works, 
In them it would appeare inflation: 
Which, in a full, and wcll-digefted man, 
Cannot receive that foule abufive name, 
But the fairc title of erection. 
. And, for his true ufc of tranftiting men, 
It ftill hath bcene a worke of as much palme 
In clecrclr. judgements, as t' invent, or make. 
His (harpneflc, that is moft cxcufable • 
As being forc't our of a differing vertue, 
Opprcfled with the licence of the time : 
And howfoevcr foolcs, or jerking pedants, 
Players, or fuch like btfjf'ons, batking wits, 
May with their beggerly, and barren train, 
Tickle bafc vulgar cares, in their defpite; 
This (like Joves thunder) (hall their pride controulc, 
41 The hontft Satyrehath the happieft foule. 
Now, Rom<ws } you have heard our thoughts • With-drawwhen you pieafe. 

Tib. Remove the accufed from the barre. 

Tuc. Who holds the Vrne to us ? ha? Feare nothing; I'ic quit you, 
mine honcft pitifull ftinkards. l'ledo't. 

Cri. Captain, you (hall eternally girt me to you, as lam generous. 

Tuc. Goe to. 

Cits. Tip.ui.lus, let there be a cafe of vizards privately provided: we 
have found a fubject to be ftow them on. 

Tib. It (hall be done Caesar. 

C/Es. HcrcbcwOrds,HoRACE,abletobaftinado a manseare?, 

Hor. I. Picafc it great C/esar, I have pils about me 
( Mixr with the white (I kind of Ellebore ) 
Would give him a light vomit ; that (hould purge 
His bra in e, and ftomack of thofe tumorous heats: 
Might I have leave to minifter unto him. 

CiEs. Ol be his jEsculapius, gentle Horace; 
You (hall have leave, and he (hall be your Patient. 
Virgil, ufc your authoritie, command him forth. 

Virg. C/Esar. iscarefullof your health, CRisPitius j 
And hath him fclfe chofe a Phyfitian 
To minifter unto you : take his pills. 

Hor. They are fomewhat bitter, fir, but very wholfome ; 
Take yet another-, fo: Stand by, they'll work anon. 

Tib. Romans, rcrurnc to your feverall feats : LiSton, bring forward die 
Vrne 3 and Cct the accufed at die barrc, 

O d Tuc 





=—-^ ^T — ^ ^MbiTcgrcgious vaHccs 5 Come f 0n 
1 uc. v^ucKiy , y u ? you m a c n0 more j wft *m, 

^*<tatti*^.^^WiD a T Pat ient tlur has no rn J > 

a bcgftcr upon pattins 
you pilchcrs 

t\T""Rufus Laberius Crispinus, W Demetrius F ., n , 
l^s holdup jour bands. tmUm {accords to tneRonuncujlo^ 

IX Jon t, 'id to the ume, for dtvers andfundm Calumn.t s, ■£. 

{f you have ifore this time beenetndned andare *w ? refe»tfy afrai^. 

Prepare pur [elves to barken to the verdul of your Tryets. C aius C,t, 

wms iA E caBS\srroMunceth]ou > lytbish x ^.mitm& Guiltie. Co*. 

nelius GMins.Guiltie. Pantilius Tucca . 

Tuc Parcell-guiltie, I. , 

Dem. He meanes himfclfe : for it was he indeed, 
Suborn'd us to the Calumnic. 

Tuc. I, you whoifon canthartdes ? was 1 1 ? 

Dem. I'appcaletoyourconfcicncc, Captaine. 

Tib. Then, you confcflc it, now. 

Dem. I doe, and crave the mercy of the Court. 

Tib. What faith Crispinus ? 

Cri. O, the Captaine, the Captaine 

Hor. My phyfick beginns to workc with my Patient, 1 fee. 

V i R. Captaine, ftasd forth and anfwcr. 

Tuc . Hold thy peace, Poet Prxtor : I appcalc from thee, to Cs.$s\ 
I. Doc me right, rbyall C/es ar. 

Cas. Marry, and I will, fir. Z./V7fl«,gaghim : doc. 
And put a cafe of vizards ore his head, 
That he may look bi-fronted> as he fpeaks. 

Tuc. Gods, and friends ! Cesar ! thou wilt not, Casar? wilt 
thou ? Away, you whorfon vultures; away. You think 1 am a dcadwp 
now, bccaufe C^-s ar is difpos'd to jefl: with a man of markc, or Co. Hold 
your hook *t talons out of my flefh, you inhumane Harpies. Goe to, do't. 
What ? will theroyall Augustus call: away a gent man of worfliip, a 
Captaine, and a Commander, for a couple of condemn'd caytive calum- 
nious Cargo's I 

C a f. s . Difpatch , *• '3 ors . 
Tuc. Caesar. 

Cars. Forward, 

Vir. Demand, what caufe they had to maligne Horace. . 

Dem. In troth, no great caufe, not I; 1 muft confcflc : buttltfj"* 
kept better company ( for the mod pan ) than 1 : and that belter men lovj 
him, than lov'd me: and that his writings thriv'd bctta than mine, &* 
were better lik'r, and grac't : nothing elfe. 

Vir. Thus 3 envious foules repine at others good. 
Hor. If this be all; faith, 1 forgive thee freely.' 
Envy me ft ill, fo long as Virgil loves me, 
G Air us, Tieullus, andthebciVbeftCALsAR, 
My dcare M F.cceN as : while thefe,wiih many more 
( Whofc names I wifely flip) (hall think me worthy 
Their honour'd, and ador'd focietie, 
And rcadc, and love, prove, and applaud my pomes 

I would not wifh but fuch as you fhould fpight them. 
, Cri. O 

Tib. How now, Crispinus? 

Cri. O, I am fick ' ' 

Hor. A bafon, a bafon, quickly ; our phyfick works. Faint not man, 

Cri. O — retrograde — reciprocal! Incubus . 

Cits. What's that, Horace ? 

HOR. Retrograde, and reciprocal/ Incubus arc come up. 
Gal. Thanks be to Jupiter. 

Cri. O — glibbery—lubricall defunA 6 — -~ 

Hor. Well faid: here's fome ftore. 
Vir. What arc they? 
Hor. Glibbery, lubr'tcall, and defunct. 
Gal. O , they came up eafic. 
Cri. O— 6- 

Tib. What's that? 
HoR.Norhii'g, yet. 
Cri. Magn/ficate, 

Mec. Magnifuatel that came up lomewhat hard. 

Hor. I. What chccrc, Crispinus ? 

Cri. O, I rtiall caft up my —fpurtous—fnotteries — 

Hor. Goo J. Again. 

Cri. Chilblaind—6—^6 — clumfie 

Ho r. That clumfie ftuck terribly. 

Mec. What's all that, Horace ? 

Hor. Spurious fnotterieSjChilblaind, clumfie. 

Tib. O Jupiter/ - ' 

Gal. Who would have thought, die re fhould ha'becne fuch a deale 
of filth in a Poet i . . . . I - 

Cri. O barmy froth X 

C/Es. What's that? 

Cri. —Puffy — inflate turgidous—ventofitons'. 

Hor. Barmy froth ', puffy, inflate, turgidow, and ventofttous are come up. 

Tib. O , terrible, windie words ! 

Gal. A figne of a windie brain. 

Cri. O oblatrant fttribund fatuate flrenuous — 

Hor. Here's a deale : obh\trant,furibund,fatuate,ftrenuoiis. 

CiEs. Now, all's come up, I trow. What a tumult he had in his belly \ 

Hor. No: there's the often confeiom dampe behind, ftill. 

C in . O confeiouf ■ —<hm\ r. 

Hor. It's come up,thanks to Apollo, and j£sculapius : 
Yet, there's another; you were beft take a pill more? 
Cri. O^no: 6 r'6 — i — 6 6 


Hor. Force your felfe then, a little with your finger. 
( r i . O o pro, umped. 



Tib. Prounnped i What a noifc it made I as if his fpirit would 
nave prorumpt wirhir. 
Cri. O 6 — __j ; 

Vir. Help him: it flicks ftrangely, what ever it is. 

Cri, © tlntcht; 

Dd« Hoi 






Now it's come :*/»*'>/• • T t. il 

Ctefe* It s well, that's come up ! Ithadbuta_narrow pa fij - 


ViR. Aeaine, hold him :hoM his head there. 
Cri. sLlir^^^ kt ^ M ^ 


Cri. O obfiupefafl. 

Tip. . Nay : that are all we, I afore you. 
Hor. How doc you fecle your felfc > 
Cri. Pretty, and well, I thank you. - 

Vir. Tfcefe pills can but reftore him for a time? 
Not cure him quite of fuch a maladie, 
Cau«ht by Co many furfcts ; which have fill'd 
His floud, and braine, thus full of crudities : . 
'T/s neceuary, therefore, he obfervc 
A ftritf and wholfome dyet. Look, you take 
Each morning, of old Cato's principles 
A good draught, next your heart; and walk upon'r, 
Till it be well digeftcd : Then come home, 
And tafte a piece of Terence, fuck his phrafe 
In {lead of lycorice ; and, at any hand, 
Shun Plautus, and old Ennius, they arc meates 
Too harm for aweakc ftomack. life to reade 
(Bur not without a tutor ) the belt Greekes^ 
As Orpheus, MusiEMSjPiNDARUs, 
Hesiod, Callimachus, and Theockite, 
High Homer j but beware of Lycophron, 
He is too dark, and dangerous a difli. 
You muft not hunt for wild out-landiih termes^ 
To fturfe out a peculiar dialeil- 
But Jet your matter runne before your mrdss 
And if, at any time, you chance to meet 
Some Gallo-Belgick phrafe, you (hall not ftraight 
Rack your poore verfe to give it entertainment 3 
Buc let it pafic : and doe not think your felfe 
Much damnified, if you doc leave it out ; 
"When, nor your underftandins, nor the fenfe 
Could well receive it. this {aire ablinencc, 

k j ime ' wil * reruier V ou raor e found, and clecrei 
And this have I prefer ib'd to you, in place 

Of a ftrift fentence : which till he perforrae 
Attire him in that robe. And hence-forth, learne 
To beare your felfe more humbly; not to fwelL 
Or breathe your infolent, and idle fpight, 
On him, whofe laughter, can your word affright. 1 
Tib. Take him away. Cri. Jupiter giSrd Casar" 
Vir. And for a week; or two, fee hirnTockt U p 
In fome dark place, remov'd from company : * P 
He will talk idly elfe after his phyfick. 
Now, to you, fir. Th'extremitieof Law 








Awards you to be branded in the front, 
For this your Calumny ; But, fincc it plcafcth 

Horace (the partic wrong'd ) t'intrea r, oC C/Esar, 
A mitigation of that juftcr doomc ; 

With C /Es a rs tongue, thus we pronounce your fentence. 

Demetrius FANNius,thou malt here put on 

Thatcoatc, and cap; and henceforth, think thy felfe 

No other, than they make thee : vow to weare them 

In every fa ire, and generous afiembly, 

Till the beft fort of minds (hall take to knowledge 

As well thy fatisfa&ion, as thy wrongs. 

Hor. Only (grave Prator) here, in open Court, 
I crave the Oath, for good behaviour, 
May be adminiftrcd unto them both. 

Vir. Horace, it flu 11 : Tibulius, giueitthem. 

Tib. Rufus Larerius Crispinus, and Demetrius Fannius 

Laj jour bands on your hearts. Ton jhafl here folemnly at left , and freare- 
That never {after this infant) either, at Book-fcllers flails, in taverns' 
two-penny roomes, 'tyring-houfes, noblc-mens buttries, puifne's cham- 
bers (the bejl, and fart heft placet, where you are admitted to come )you fballonce 
offer j or dare ( thereby to endeareyour felfe the more to any player, en^hle, 
orguiltie gull, in your company) tom.tligne, traduce, or de trail the perlbn 
or writings of Quintus HoRAciUS FLACCUS ; or any other eminent 
man, tranfeendingyou in merit ; whom your envy fballjindcaufe to work upon, 
either - } for that, or for keeping him felfe in better acquaintance, or enjoying 
letter friends : Or tj\ transported by any fodaine and defperate refolution ) you 
doe-, That then, you fljall not under the bajloun, or in the next prefence^beinq 
an honourable ajjembly of his favourers, lee brought as voluntary gent, to un- 
dertake the for-fwearing of it. Neither fhall you at any time {atnbitioufly, af- 
feiting the title of the untruflers or whippers of the 4ge)fuffer the itch of wri- 
ting to over-run your performance in libellj uponpatne of being taken up for 
lepers in wit, and (lofing both your time and your papers) be irrecoverably 
forfeited to the hofpitall of Fooles. So helpe you our Roman gods, and 
the Genius of great C/Esar. 

ViR. So : now diublvc the Court. 

Hor. Tin. Gal. Mec. Vir. And thanks to Cesar, 
That thus hath cxercis'd his patience. 

Cjbs. Wc have, indeed, you worthieft friends of C/ES AR. 
It is the banc, and torment of our cares. 
To hearc the difcords of thofc jangling rimers,- 
Thar, with their bad and fcandalous practices, 
Bting all true Arts, and learning in contempt. 
But let not your high thoughts defcend fo low, 
As thefc defpifed objc&s ; Let them fall, 
With their flat groveling foulcs : Be you your fclves. 
And as with our beft favours you (land crown'd : 
So let your mutuall loves be ftill rcnown'd. 
Envy will dwell, where there is want of merit, 
Though the deferving man fliould crack his (pint. 

Dd3 Song. 


To the %eader. 




DetraHhn u bta bafmjje varkt- 

And apes are apes, though cloth d m fcarlet. 



Rumpatur, quifquis rumpicur invidia 


fdenupoK the, and all the anfwer lever gave, to Jitndry impotent libels then caJl IK 
*dfome yet remaining) Again fi me, and t hi, Play. Wherein I take no flufurtttreiht 
{ urn:. i, 'but that Softer hie may make a difference, bcWecne their manners that pr eu (i 
nttc then, and mine that neglected them ever. For, in thefe fir if es s and on fuch ptrfui, 
were as wretched to affect a >', as it is mhappic to be committed with them. Non 

annorum canities ell laudanda, fed monim. 

The P erf o7i s. 
Nasutus, Polyposus, Author. 

I Pi ay you let's goe fee him, how bee looks 
After thefe libels. Pol. O, vex'd,vcx'd, I warrant you. 
Nas. Doe you think fo? I fhould be forry for him, 
If I found that. Pol. O, they arc fuch bitter things. 
He cannot choofe. Nas. But, is he guilty of hem ? 

Pol. Fuh! that's no matter. Nas. No ? Pol. No. Here's his lodging; 
Wee'll fteale upon him: or, let's liftenj ftay. 
He has a humor ofc totalket'himfelfc. 
Nas. They arc your manners lead me, not mine owne. 
Aut. TheFam have not fpunhimthecourfeft threed 
That (free from knots of perturbation ) 
Doth yet fo live, although but to himfelfe. 
As he can fafely fcorne the tongues of fli/rs 
And w£c& Fortune, more than (heecan him. 
It : is the hapnieft thing, this not to be 
V\ ithm the reach of malice ; It provides 
A man fo well , to laugh off injuries : 
And never fends him farther for his vengeance 
Than the vex d bofome of his enemie. 
I now, but think, how poorc their fpight fcts off, 

A w a a CraU ? cir wafte 0f Mph»o5s termes 
And burft-out thunder of their chafed mouths/ 

Have nothing left, but the unfcv'ry Wake 
w, .at 2Ck u° mit ,' t0 u P braid themfblvcs : 

Whillt I, at whom they (hot, fit here rtiot-fL 
And as un-hnrt of cnvie,as un-hir 

Pol. I, but the Multitude, they think not fo, fir, 


To the Reader i 

They think you hit, and hurt: and dare give out 
Your filence argues it, in notrcjoyning 
To this, or that late libcll. Aut. 'Lafle, good rout.' 
I can afford them leave, to crre fo (till : 
And, like the barking ftudents of Bcares-Colled^e, 
To fwallow up the garbage of the time 
• With greedie gullets, whil'ft my fclfc fit by, 
Pleas'd, and yet tortur'd, with their beaftly feeding. 
'Tis a fweet madncflc runnes along with them, 
To think, all that are aymd at, ftiU are (buck • 
Then, where the fhaft (till lights, mike that the mark, 
And lb, each fcare, or feavcr-maken foole 
May challenge Teucers hand in archery. 
Good troth, if 1 knew any man fo vile, 
To a&thc crimes, thefe whippets reprehend, 
Or what their fervile apes gcfticulatc, 
I mould not then much mufe, their fhreds were We'd ; 
Since ill men have a luft t'heare others finnes, 
And good men have a zea!e to heare finnemanul. 
But when it is all excrement, they vent, 
Bafe filth, and offall : or thefts, notable 
As Ocean pyracics, or high-way (lands : 
And not a crime there tax d, but is their owne, 
Or what their owne foule thoughts fuggefted to therm 
And, that in all their heat of taxing others, 
Not one of them, but ljvcs himfelfe (if knowne) 

Improbior Satyr am fcribente cin&do. 

What fliould I fay, more ? then turne (tone with wonder J - 

Nas . I never faw this play bred all this tumult. 
What was there in it could fo deeply olfend ? 
And ftirre fo many hornets ? Aut. Shall 1 tell you ? 

Nas. Yes, andingenuoufly. Aut. ! hen by the hope, 
Which I prefcrrc unto all other objc&s, 
I can profefle, I never writ that pcece 
More innocent, or emptie of oftence. ' 

Some fait it had, but neither tooth, nor gall, 
Nor was there in it any circumftance, 
Which, in the fetting downe, 1 could fufpeft 
Might be perverted by an enemies tongue. 
Onely, it had the fault to be call'd mine. 
That was the crime. Pol. No? why, they fay youtax'd 
The Law, and Lawyers; Captains ; and the Players 
■By their particular names. Aut. It is not fo. 
I usd no name. My Bookeshave ftillbeene taught 
lo fpare the perfons, and to fpeak the vices. 
Jncfc arc mecre (landers, and enfore'dby fuch 
£s have no fafer wayes to mens difgraces, 
«H : their owne lyes,and lofk of honcftic : 
miovvesof pradis'd, andmoft laxative tongues, 
Wuolc emptie and eager bellies, i the ycarc, 






To the 'Reader. 

Amt. iib. i. 
S. > S. 



( l (,,,tc to name bem . for. tn 
futy it Icllc wouU 1 » Jo •/ ' ' 

Or itcn, cnavc * j t j yceres, 

?f aU Stovikc £ 35 tWpctula/t (tiles 
They J,a P rov0kc A " d ! ac laft, unwilling, 

Tl'ouS would try, if foame could winne upon hem : 

An^ therefore chofe Augustus Caesars times, 

WtaSfSd Arts were at their height in Rome, 

To fhew that Virgil, Horace, and the reft 

Ofthofe great mafter-fpints, did not want 

Detractors, then, or pactifers againft them : 

And by this line ( although noparalel) 

I hop'd at laft they would fit downc, and blufh. 

But nothing could I find more contrary. 

And though the impudence of flyes be great. 

Yet this hath fo provok'd the angry wafpes, 

Or as you laid, of the next r.eft, the hornets j 

That they flyc buzzing, mad, about my no drills : 

And like fo many fcrcaming graflc-hoppers, 

Held by the wings, fill every care with noyfe. 

And what? thofe former calumnies you mentioned 

Firft, of the Law. Indeed, I brought in Ovid, 

Chid by his angry father, for neglecting 
The ftudy of their lawes, for poetry: . 
And I am warranted by his ownc words. 
Stpe pater dixit , (indium quid inutile tentas £ 
Mxonides nullxs ipfe rel'tquit opes. 

And in farre harfher tcrracs elfcwhere, as thefe : 
Non me vedofas leges edifcere, non me 
Ingrato voces proflituijje foro. 

But how this (hould relate, unto our lawes, - 
Or their juft minifters, with leaft abufe, * 

I reverence both too much, to undcrftand! 

Then, for the Caprainc •, I will oncly fpeak 
An Epigramme 1 here have made : It is 
Vnto true Souldiers. That's the lemma. Marke it. 
Strength of my Countrey, whiljl I bring to view 

Such as are mifje-call'd Captaines, and wrong you, 
And your high names h I doe defire, that thence, 

Be nor put on you, nor you take offence : 
/ fweare by jour true fi tend, my Mufe, 7 love 

Tour great profefton, which I once did prove- 
And did not jbame it with my aclions, then. 

No more than I dare now, doe with my pen. 
He that not tru(ls me, having vow'd thw much 
Bin's angry for the CaptaineJiU : is fuch, ' 


To the Reader \ 


Now, for the Players, it is true, I tax'd 'hern^ 

And yet, but fomc ; and thofe fo fparingfy, 

As all the reft might have fate ftill, unqucftion'd, 

Had they but had the wir, ot conference, 

To think well of themfelves. Bur, impotent they 

Thought each mans vice belong'd to their whole tribe : 

And much good do't 'hem. What th'havedone aainft rac, 

lam not movdwith. If it gave 'hemmear, & 

Or got 'hem clothes. 'Tis well* That was their end. 

Only amongft them, I am forry for 

Some better natures, by the reft fo drawn.c, 

To run in that vile line. Pol. And is this all? 

Will you not anfwer then the libells ? Aut. No. 

K° l \^°J r t C untrufrcrs ? Aut. Neither. Pol. Y are undone then; 
Au. With whom? PoL.The world. Au.Thebaud'.Po. Itwil be taken 
To bee itupiditic, or ramencfle in you. 

Aur. Bur, they that have incens'd me, can in foulc 
Acquit race' of that guilt. 'I hey know, I dare 
To fpurnc, or baffull 'hem; or fquirt their eyes 
With ink, or urine : or I could doc worfe, 
Arm'dwirh Archilochus fury, write lambkks, 
Should make the defperate lafhcrs hang themfelves a 
Rime "hem to death, as they doc Irijb rats 
In drumming Or, living, I could ftamp 
Their foreheads with thofe deep, and publick brands, 
That the whole company of Barber-Surgeons 
Should not take off, with all their arr, and phyfters. 
And thefe my prints ftiould laft, ftill to be read 
In their pale fronts : when, what they write 'gainft me, 
anal J, like a figure draWne in water, fleet, 
And the poore wretched papers be imployd 
To cloth Tobacco, or torn? cheaper dW. 
This I could doe, and make them infamous.' 
Bur, to what end ? when their ownc deeds have mark'd 'hem, 
And, that I know, within his guilty brell 
Each flanderer beares a whip, that (hall torment him, 
Worfe, than a million of thefe temporal! plagues: 
Which to purfue, were but a feminine humour, 
And, farre beneath the dignitie of man. 

Nas. 'Tis true: for to revenge their injuries,- 
Were to confeiTe you felt 'hem. Let 'hem goe, 
And ufe the trcafure of the foole, their tongues, 
Who makes his gaine , by fpeaking worft of beft. 

I o i. . O, but they lay particular imputations ■ 

aSt * « Tft? ? ,F°.' T r h ? c a11 y° ur vvririn g> is mccr »y ifoff- 

Should be fo cenfurd, or the {harper wit 
^f the bold Satyre, termed fcolding rage, 

What TnuM U i d ?•? C r° mparc Wich thofc ' for bufom ? 
* y nat fhould be faid of Aristophanes ? 

Persius ?i 




"7 — t . „ vl . t i whole names wc noiv 

Ha*tbey do .otbe i^^yocL ^ lis 

And tofc bring fo^^^' ua ^ 
I would, they could not lay » 

A rmn Luld take but cote-loot, for one day, 

And between whiles, (bit out a better 

Their belly made. Yet, this is pollible, 

If a free mind had but. die patience, 

To think fo much, together, and io vile. 

But. that thefc bafe and beggerly. conceits 

Should carry it, by the multitude of voices, 

A^ainft the mod: abftraaed woik, opposd 

To the ftuff d noftrils of the drunken rour ! 

O, this would make a learn'd, and libera 11 foule, 

To rive his ftained quill, up to the back, 

And damne his long-watch'd labours to the fire •, 

Things, that were borne, when none but tfce ihll flight* 

And his dumbe candle faw his pinching throes: 

Were not his owne free merit a more crowne 

Unto his travailes, than their reeling claps. 

This 'tis, that ftrikes me filenr, feales my lips, 

And apts me, rather to ile'ep out my time, 

Than I would waftc it in contemned frrifes, 

With thefe vile Ibides^ thefc unclcanc birds, 

That make their mouths their clyfters, and^ ftill purge 

From their hot entrailcs. Bur, I leave the monfters 

To their owne fate. And, fincc the Cornicle Mush 

Hath prov'd fo ominous to me, I will trie 

If Tragadic have a more kind afpeel:; 

Her favours in my next I will purfue, 

Where, if I prove the plcafure but of one, 

So he judicious be-, Hce (hall b' alone 

A Theater unto me : Once, fie 'fay, 

To ftrikc the care of time, in thofc frcfii ftnins, 

As (hall, befide the cunning of their ground, 
Give caufe to fomc of wonder, ferae defpjerhts- 

And unto more, defpaire, to imitate theS found. 
I, that fpend balfc my nights, and all my diyes, 
Here in a cell, to get a dark, pale face, 





A Tragedies 


Firft A died in the yeere id o?. By the 

Kings M a i e s t i E s Servants. 

With the allowance of the M after 

of R e v E l l s. 

The Author "B.f. 


Non blc Centauros, non Gorgonas, Harpyiafquc 
Jnvenses : Homtntm fdgina nop* fapir. 

lo come forth worth the Ivie, or the Baves, 

Afld in this age can hope no other grace 

Leave me. There's fomething come into my thou- 
That muft, and fhall be fung, high, and aloof c, C 
Safe from the wolfes black juv, and the dull afles hoof 
Naj. I reverence thefe raptures, and obey 'h C m. 


L O N D o N y 

Ptintcd by Richard Bishop. 

M. DC. XL. 









L» Aubign 


My Lord, 

F ever any ruine were fogrett, at 
to fur we ; f thinly this bee one f 
fend you : the Fall c/^Sejanus, It 
is a Toeme^that (if Iwllremem-, 
her) in your Lord ftips fight, fuf 
fer'dno leffe violence from ourpeo~ 
pie here, than tbeJhbjeS of it did 
from the rage of the people of 'Rome; but, with a dijfc* 
rent fate, at Qf hope} merit : For this hath outAivd their 
malice, and begot itjelfe a greater favour than he. loft t the 
love of good men. JmongH whom, if f mafyyour Lord* 
(hip the fir ft it thanks, it is not without a ju(t confefi> 
on of the bond jour benefits have , and ever /hall hold 

o . 



Your Lo. moft faithful! honorer, 

Ben." Jq'Nsptf, 






The Argument. 


Lius Scjanus, /o^w Seius Strabo, * gentleman of Rome, «*/ 

4 fo-j 

■;wrffl*r of the Empiro. which greatneJJ'e of his, Drufus, the Empcrouri 
fount not brooking, after many {mother 'ddijlikes (it one day breakingout) i[ t 
Prince (truck him pullickh on the face. To revenge which difgnce^'^ 
the wife of Drufus (being before corrupted by him to her dishonour, and the d^ 
covery of her hwbands eouncels) Sejanus prallifeth with, together with her Ply. 
fitian called Eudcm\is,and one LygJus,^* Eunuch, to poyfon Drufus. Thu 
their inhumane aH having Juccefjefutl, and unfufpeBed paffage,it emboUtnth 
Scjanus to farther andmore injolent projet~is,even the ambition of 'the Emfm; 
sphere finding the lets, he muff encounter, to be many, a, t d hard, in refpcB oftk 
ijfue of Germmicus (who were next in hope for the fuccefion) hecdevifch 

make Tibcrius/c/fofetf meanes : and in(l ill's into hit eares many doubts tai 

fufpicions,both againfi the Princes, and their mother Agrippina : wbicbCs- 

hxjealou/ly heartening to, as covetoufly confenteth to their ruine, and thth 

friends, in this time, the better to mature and (irengthen his defigut, Scjanus 

labours to marry Livia, andworketh (with all his ingine) to remove Tiberius 

from the knowledge of publick bu(mtffe,mtb allurements of a tfuiet and retirti 

life : the latter of which, Tiberius (out of a proneneffe to luft, and a clefire u 

hide thofe unnaturall pleasures, which he could not fo publiekly praSife) tab*- 

ceth ; the former inkindltth his feares, and there, gives himfirf caufeof 'M 

or fufpeB toward Sejanus. uigainfl whom, he ratfetb (in private) a new i4"' 

mem, one Sertorius Macro, and by him under. work etb, discovers the ctbttt 

tounftls , his meanes, hit ends, founds the afjetlions of the Senator *'?<"> 

attach them : at lajt, when Sejanus leaf? looketh, and is moll fecure ( W» Pg 

text tfdotng him an un-wonted honour in the Senate) hetraines hitftf* 1 *** 

guards, and w,th a long doubt full Utter, in one day, hath him fufrlSM* #& 

<ondemned,and torne in pieces, by the rage of the people 

C?« 5) 

ThePerfons of the Play; 



Drusus JH 
Calx cula. 
Ar run tius. 

Le H DU5. 
Co R»us, 

Teren tius 
La Co. 



Sfij A NUS. 

La TiAnn. 



Mack o. 



S A M qjj IN IU5 

p © m t on i us. 
p ost hu mu*. 

Mi wu t i u*. 


N A T T A. 















The principal! Tragedians were, 


Aug. Philips. 
Wil. Sly. 
j o h. lowin. 


Will. Shake-S'peaiu. 
oh. Hemings. 


Alex. Co o kio 


Ec 2 






Sabinus, S i l i us, N a t t a, Latiaris, Co * 
dus, Satrius, Arruntius, Eude* 


AHc,Caius Silius. Sil. Titius Sabinus, Haifc. 
Yo'are rarely met in Court ! Sad . Thercfore,wcllmet, 
Sil. 'T is true ; Indced,this place is notour fphaerc. 
Sab.NOjSii.jus, we arc no good Inginiers. 
We want the fine Arts, and their thriving ufe, 
Should make us grae'd, or favour'd of the times: 
We have no (hi ft of faces, no cleft tongues, 
No foft, and glutinous bodies, that can ftick, 

Like fnailes, on painted walls; or, on our brefts, 

Creep up, to fall, from that proud height, to which 

We did by flivery, not by fcrvice, climbe. 

We are no guilrie men, and then no great; 

Wee have no place in Court, office in State, 

That wee can fay, wee owe unto our crimes: 

Wee burne with no black fecrcts, which can make 

Us deare to the pale authors; or live fcard 

Of their dill waking jcaloufies, to raife. 

Our felves a fortune, by fubverting theirs. 

Wee fhnd not in the lines, that 'doe advance 

To that fo courted point. Sil. But yonder leane 

A paire that doc. (Sap,. Good coufin Latiaris ) 


The great Si- Janus clients: There be two 

Know more than honcftcouncclls: whofe clpfehreftc 

testate •**« f»* 

Flattcr, and ^SSS^StSS&L 
Smile, and betray , make guilrie men tfcn 2? 
T he forfeit lives to get the livings cut g 

Mens throats with whifperinas • fill A £«: r 



Laugh, when their patron laughs ; fwear,when he fweats; 

Be hot, and cold with him ; change every mood, 

Habir, and garbc, as often as he varies; 

Obferve him, as his watch bbferves his clock; 

And true, as turkifc in the deare lords ring, 

Lookc well, or ill with him; ready to praife 

His lordfhip, if he fpir, or but pine faire, 

Have an indinvrenr ftoole, or break wind well • 

Nothing can fcape their catch. Sas. Alas', th'efe things 

Delcrve no note, confer'd with other vile, 

And filthier flatterers, that corrupt the times: 

When, not alone our gentries chiefe are faine 

To make their fafetie from fuch fordidc a&s, 

But all our Confute, and no little part 

Of fuch as have bcene Prxtors, yea, the moft 

Of Senators (chat clfe not ufe their voyces) 

Srart up in publike Senate, and there ftrive 

Who (hall propound moft abjeft things, and bafc ; 
So much, as oft: Tiberius hath bcene heard 
Leaving the Court, to crie, 6 race of men/ 
Prepar'd for fcrvirude 1 Which fhevv'd, that, he. 
Who lea ft the publike libertic could like, 
As lothfy brook'd their flat fervilitic. 

Sir.. Well, all is worthy of us, were it more, 
Who with our ryots, pride, and civill hate, 
Have {o provok'd the jufticc of the gods. 
We, that (within thefe foureicore ycarcs) were borne 
Free, cquall lords of the triumphed world, 
And knew no matters, but affections ; 
To which betraying firft our liberties, 
Wee fince became the flaves to one mans Jufts; 
And now to many: every miniftring fpic 
That willaccufe, and fwearc, is lord of you, 
Of me, of all, our fortunes, and our lives. 
Our lookes are call 'd to qucftion, and our words, 
How innocent foevcr, are made crimes • 
We (hall not fhortly dare to tell our Sreames, 
Onhink,but 'twill be treafon. Sab. "■ Ty ran nes Arts 

« Ti rC r °u givC flattcrers > S racc 5 accufcrs, power ; 
I hat thofc may fceme to kill whom they devoure. 

J Soo d Cremutius Cordus. Cor. Haile to your lordfhip: 
Nat. Who's that falures your coufin? Lat. 'Tisone Cordus, 

a gentleman of Rome: one, that has writ 

Annals of late, they fay, and very. well. 
Nat. Annal's? of what times? Lat. I think of PoMpei's, 

kt M r t C ^ S A , R s ? and fo dow ™ to th efe. 
Nat. How (lands handed to the prefent State ? 

is hee or Drufian ? or Germanican I 

M ;? ? x, rn ? Ur - raIlr LAt ' * kn0w hi" 1 not fo farre. 
nat, l hole times arefomewhat queafiero berouchr. 

E e 3 Have 



They whijfxu 

• • 


Have you or 

fcene or heard part of his work? 
Lat Not Lhemeanes they (lull be publick fhortly. 
Mat*. 0,CoRDUsdoeyoucallhira? Lat. I.SAB.Butthefeo Urti 
re not the fame, Arruntius. Arr. 1 imes ? the men, 

Are not the fame, Arruntius. Arr. I irnes ? 
The men are not the fame i m wee are bafe, 
Poorc, and degenerate from th exalted ftraine 
Of our great fathers. Where is now the foulc 
Of God like Cato ? he, that durft be good, 
WTicn Cesar durft be evil I ; and had power, 
As not to Jive his flave, to die his matter. 
Or where's the conftant Brutus, that (being proofe 
A^ainft all charme of benifits) did ftrike 
So brave a blow into the monfters heart 
That fought unkindly to captive his country? 
O, they arc fled the light. Thofe mighty fpirits 
Lie rak'dup, with their afhes in their urncs, 
And not a fpark of their etcrnall fire 
Glowes in a prefent bofome. All's but blase, 
Flafhcs,and fmoak, wherewith wee labour fo, 
There's nothing Roman in us ; nothing goodj 
, Gallant, or great : 'Tis true, that Cordus fays, 

Brave Cassiusous the la(t of all thai race. 

Sab. Stand by, lordDRusus. Hat. Th'Emperours fonigivc place 
Sil. I like the prince well. Ar. A riotous youth. 

1 here's litrle hope of him. Sab. That fault his age 

Will, as it growes, correct. Mec thinks, he bearcs 

Himfclfe, each day, more nobly than other* 

And wins no lefle on mens aneclions, 

Than dorh his father lofe. Belecvc mee, I love him • 

And chiefly foroppofing to £>E/ANUs. 
Sil. And I, for gracing his young kinfmen fo, 

J he tonnes of Prince Germanicus : It fliews 

A gallant eleemefle in him> a ftraight mind 

That envies not, in them, their fathers name. 

Ana K R: H J S y™?^!** he liVd, above all envy; 

And being dead, without it. O, that man ! 

If there were feeds of the old vertue left, 

TheyLvd inhim.SiL. He had the fruitcs A R nmjTTn<f 

More than the feeds : Sabinus, and * fclfe ' 

«ad mcanes to know him, within . ,nr( « „ t - • 

Wee were his followers, O^^a^nX^- 

Hee was a man moft like to vertue j In JlT S ° 

And every adion, necrer to the eods * 

Than men, , n nature 5 of a body as favre 

As was Ins mind ; and no lefle rev cr Z 

In face, than fame : He could fo ufe hi ftate 

Temp nng his ^eatnefle, wirh his ZSff* 

As it avoyded all fclfc-tovc in him, ' 

And fp lg ht ,n others. What his funcralh lack'd' 

In images, and pompe,they had fupplyT 



With honourable forrow, fouldiers fadnefle, 
A kind of filcnt mourning, fuch, as men 
(Who know no tcares, but from their captives) ufe 
To fhew in fo great lolTes. Cor. I thought once, 
Confidenng their formes, age, manner of deaths, 
The neerncfle of the places , where they fell, 
T have paralell d him with great Alexander: 
For both were of beft feature, of high race, 
Yecr d but to thirty, and, in forrain? lands, 
By their ownc people, alike made away. 

tw I' . / w ™ r ' f°f his dcatIl > how V° u mi S hc wreft it: 
But, for his life, it did as much difdaine 

Companion, with that voluptuous, ram, 

Giddy, and drunken Macedoris, as mine 

Doth with my bond-mans. All the good, in him, 

(His valour, and his fortune) hee made his- 

But hee had other touches of late Romans ' 

That more did (peak him: Pompei's dignitie, 

The innocence of Cato, Cesar's fpirir, 

Wife Brutus temp ranee; and every vertue, 

Which, parted unto others, gave them name, 

Flowd mixt in him. Hee was the foiile of goodnefie: 

And all our prayfes of him are like ftreames 

Drawnc from a fpring, that ftill rife full, and leave 

f he part remaining greateft. Arr. I am fare 

Hee was too great for us, and that they knew 

Who did remove him hcnee.-SAB. Whcnra^growfaft 

Honour d,and lovd, there is a trick in ftate 

(V\hich jealous princes never faile to ufe) 

How to decline that growth, with faire pretext, 

And honourable colours of employment; 

buher by embaflie, the warrc, or fuch, 

To (Tuft them forth into another aire 

A VI fvf i b , Cy ? ay P ur S e > and kflen 5 fo was hee i 
And had his feconds there, fent by Tiberius 

TnU^A "^ ?5f damme > to Content him 5 
To breed, and cheridi mutinies; detracl: . 

His greateft actions . give audacious check 

To his commands; and work to put him out 

In open aft of treafon. All which fnares 

W«ri,v! $ W k "'" P^^' a flnepoyfon 
Was thou ght on, to mature their practices. 

Tne 2fc£ffl ^^^^^*> 

I TW ■ "*? : No more ' % you- s at. My lord 
iThcre is a gentleman of Rome would buy-—! ' 



(be flag. 





a-3 — """ ^ .•<. ,.,;># Sfi. Oh with your fute. 

\\ ould buy you fid .^ ^^ 

& LmlvSJ^ ^ » * ■? BE 

Sat k 7s my lo d ; your lordftips anf™ ? Sej. To what 

Sat The p&y to*. H fo [ a S^™'. 
Your loS4 will well like of" when you fee him , 
And one, you make yours, by the grant 

Sei Well, let him bring money, and his name 
S\t 'Thank your lordfhip. Hee (hall, my lord. Sej. Come hither, 
Know you this fame Eudemus ? Is hec learn'd? 
Sat. Reputed fo, my lord, and of deepc practifc. 
Sej.' Bring him in, to me, in rhc gallery; 
And take you caufc to leave us there, together : 
I would conferre with him, about a griefcv ■ ■ On. 

Arr. So, yet I another? yet? 6 defperate ftatc 
Of grov'ling honour ! Secft thou this, 6 funne, 
And doe wee fee thee after ? Mce thinks, day 
Should lofe his light, when men doc iofe their flwmes, 
And, for the empty circumftance of life, 
Betray their caufe of living. Sil. Nothing fo. 
Sej anus can repaire, if Jove fhould mine. 
Hee is the now Court-god ; And well applyed 
With facrifice of knees', of crooks, and cringe; 
Hee will doe more than all the houfe of heav'n 
Can, for a thoufand HeeMombes. 'Tis lice 
Makes us our day, or night; Hell, and Elyfium 
Are in his look : Wee talk of Rhadamanth, 
Furies, and fire-brands ; But 'tis his frowne 
That is all thefe; where, on the adverfc parr, 
His fmile is more, than ere (yer) Poets fain'd 
Of bliffe, and fhades, NeBar — Arr. A ferving boy-' 
I knew him, at Caius trencher, when for hire, 
Hee proftuuted his abufed body 
To that great gourmond, fat Apicius ; 
And was the noted Pdthick of the time. 
Sab. And, now, the fecond face of the whole world. 

The partner of the Empire, hath his image 

Keard cquall with Tiberius, borne in enfignes, 

Command's, difpofes every dignity, 

Centurion^ Tribune*, Heads of Provinces, 

*™*rs, and Confuh. all that heretofore 

*mes gcncrall murage gave, is now his fale. 

Madeh?ma^ Ufe L rCCCivCS - SlL ' Hee hath of late 

^v I vL Lf ^ : P rctendin g ** *e tidier 
By Uvmg oofe, and fcattcrcd, fell To ryot i 

And that if any fudden enterprise ^ 

Sej ami u 

V 1 


Should bee attempted , their united ffrcngth 
Would bee farre more, than fevcr'd; and their life 
More ftritSt, if from thc city more remov'd. 

SAB.Whcre,now, he bnilds,what kind of fort's he pleafe, 
Is hard to court the fouldicr, by his name, 
Wooes, feafts thc chiefeft men of adtion, 
Whofe wants, not loves, compcll them to be his. • 
And, though bee ne're were libcrall by kind, ■ 
Yer, to his ownc darke ends, bee's moft profufe, I 
Lavifh, and letting fly, hee cares not what 
To his ambition. Arr. Yer, hath hec ambition? 
Is there that ftep in State can make him higher ? 
Or more? or any thing hee is, but lefle? 

Sil. Nothing, but Emp'rour. Ar. The name Tiberius 
I hope, will keep -how ere hec hath fore-gone 
Thc dignity, and power. Sil. Sure, while hee lives. 

Arr. And dead, it comes to Drusus. Should hefaile? 
To the brave iffue of Germ amicus ; 
And they are three: Too many (ha?) for him 
To have a plot upon ? Sab. 1 doc not know- 
Thc heart of his dclignes ;but, fure, their face 
Looks farther that the prefenr. Ar; By. the gods, 
If I could gucflc hee had but fuch a thought, 
My fword fhould cleave him dovne from head to heart, 
But 1 would find it out: and with my hand 

J 'Id hurle his panting braine about the'ayre, 
In mires, as fmall as atomes , to undoe 
The knotted bed — Sab. You are obferv'd, Arruntkis. 
ARR.Deach! I dare to tell him (o; and all hisfpics: 
You, fir, I would, doe you look ? and you. Sab-. Forbearc. 


Satrius, Eudemus, Sej anus. 

"LJ Ere' hee will inftantbc". Lets walk a turne; 
* ■* Yo'are in a mufc, Eudemus ? EuD.Not I,fir. 
I wonder hee (hould mark mee out fo I well, 
Jove, and Apollo forme it for the heft. 

Sat. Your fortune's made unto you now , Eudemus, 
If you can but lay hold upon thc mcanes ; 

Doe bur obfervc his humour, and ***-» beleeve it ■ 

Hee's the nobleft Romane, where hec takes——— 
Here comes his lordfhip. Sej. Now, good Satrius. 

Sat. This is thc gentleman, my lord. Sej. Is this? 
Give mec your hand, we mud be more acquainrcd. 
Report, fir, hath fpoken out your arr, and learning : 
And 1 am glad I have fo needfull caufc, 
(How ever in it felfe painfull, and hard) 
I o make mec knownc to fo great vertuc. Look, 

Who's that? Satrius 1 have a gricfe,fir, 

That will defire your helpc. Your name's Eudemus > 

Eud. Yes. Sej. Sir? Eud. It is, ray lord. Sej. I hcire, you are 

Pby : 

He tutnit t9 




rhyftcian to Livia, the Warf^: 
Eun I miniftcr unto her, my good lard. 
SeL YOU minifter to a royall lady, then 
Eud. She is, my lord, and ^*V™" s 
Of all their fcx, who are, or would be fo 5 
And tlSfc, that would be, phyfick foon can make hem: 
For thofc that are, their beauties feare no colours 

Eud. Your lordmipisconccircd. Se, Sir, you know it. 
An Vm rifnecd bee) read a learned lettuce, 

What more of ladies, befides Livia, 

Have you your Patients? Eud. Many, my good lord. 

The great Augusta, Urgulania, 

Mhtilia Prima, and Plancina- divers 

Se'). And, all thefc tell you the particulars 
Of every feverall griefe ? how firft it grew, 
And then incrcas'd, what aftion caufed that ; 
What paflion that : and anfwer to each point 
That you will put 'hem. Eud . Elfe, my lord, wc know not 
How to prefcribe the remedies. Si-j.Goe to, 
Yo'arc are a fubtile nation,' you Phyfitians! 
And gro.vnc the onely>cabinets, in Court, 
To ledics privicies. Faith, which of thefc 
Is the mofl: plefant lady, in, her phyfick ? 
Com • , you arc modeft now. Eud. 'Tis fir, my lord. 

Se;. Why, fir, I doc not askeyou of their urines, 
Wh ofc fmcls moft violet ? or tvhofc fcigc is be ft? 
Or who makes hatdeft faces on her ftoolc ? 
Which lady fleeps with her ownc face, a nights? 
Which puts her teeth cfly with her cloths, inComt? 
Or, which her hayrc f which her complexion ? 
And, in which box fhec purs it? Thefc were qucftions, 
That mighr, perhaps have put your gravity 
To feme defence of blufli. Bur, I enquir'd, 
Which was the witticft ? menieft ? wantonncft ? 
Hirmclcflc intcrgatories,but conceits. 
Mee thinks, Augusta fliould be mofl: perverfe, 
And ftoward fn her fit? Eud. Shcc's fo, my lord. 

Sej. i knew it. And Mutilia the moft jocund £ 

Hud. Tis very true, my lord. Sej. And why would you 
Conceaie this from me, now? Come, whit's Livia ? 
I know, fhee's quick, and quaintly fpiritcd, 
And will have ftrangc thoughts, when flice's at leafure 3 
fhee tells 'hem all to you? Eud. My noblcft lord, 
Hec breathes not in the Empire, or on earth, 
Whom I would be ambitious to fervc 
(In any aft, that may prcferve mine honour) 

more your lordttiip. Sej. Sir, you can loic no honour, 
£y trufting ought to mee. The courfaft ad 
Uonc to my fcrvice, 1 can fo requite, 


As all the world mail ftile it honourable : 

<c Your idle, vertuous definitions 

" Keep honour poorc, and are as fcorn'd, as vaine : 

,c Thofe deeds breathe honour, that doe fuck in gaine. 

Eud. Bur, good my lord, if I mould thus betray 
The counfclls of my Patient, and a ladies 
Of her high place, and worth ; what might your lordmip, 
( Who presently are to truft me with your owne ) 
Judge of my faith ? Sej. Only the beft, I fweare. 
Say now, that I mould utter you my griefe • 
And with if, the true caufe ; that it were love*, 
And love to Livia : you mould tell her this ? 
Should fhec fufpeft your faith ? I would you could 
Tell me as much, from her j fee, if my braine 
Could be turn'd jealous. Eud. Happily, my lord, 
1 could, in time, tell you as much, and more; 
So I might fafcly promife but the firft, 
To her, from you. Sej. As iafely, my Eudemus, 
( I now dare call thee fo ) as I have put 

The fecret into thee. Eud. My lord— Sej. Proteftnot. 
Thy looks arc vowes to me, ufc only fpeed, 
Andbutarfc&herwithSEJANu's love, 
Thou art a man, made, to make Confuls. Go. 

Eud. My lord, l'le promife you a private meeting 
This day, together. Sej. Canftthou? Eud. Yes. Sej. The place* 

Eup. My gardens, whither I fliall fetch your lordlhip. ' 

Sf.j. Let me adore my /Esgulapius. 
Why, this indeed is phyfick ! and out-fpeaks 
The knowledge of clieap drugs, or any ufc 
Can be made out of it ! more comforting 
Then all your opiates, julepes, apozemes, 
Magiftrall fyrrupes, or — Be gone my friend, 
Not barely ftilcd, but created fo; 
Expert things, grearer than thy largeft hopes, 
To overtake thee : Fortune, ftiall be taught 
£0 know how ill fhee hath deferv'd thus long, 
Jo come behind thy wiflies. Goe, and fpeed. 

Ambition makes more trufty flaves, than need. 
Tliefc fellowes, by the favour of their arte, 
Have, ftill, the mcancs to tempt; oft-times, the power. 
Jl Livia will be now corrupted, then 
fnou haft the way,SF.jANus,towork out 
fjis fi-crets, who ( thou knowft ) endures thee not, 
Her husband Drusus: and to work againft them. 
^tofper ir , Pallas, thou, that betterft wit; 
*or Venus hath the fmalleft flare in it. 



Tiberius, Sejanus, Drusus. 

Ee not endure thefe flarteri'e?, let him ftand • 
Our empire, enfigncs, sates, rods, and ftate' 




humane nature from us : 



Take not away our 

Look up, on us, and fall before the gods 

S e j . How like a god, fpeaks C*sar ! Arr. There, obfcr ve! 
He can endure that fecood, that s no flattery. 
0,what is it, proud flime will not bcleevc 
Of his owne worth, to heare it cquall prais d 
Thus with the gods? Cor. He did not hearcir, fir. 

Arr. He did not? Tut, he mult nor, we think raeanely. 
' Tis your moft courtly, knowne confederacy, • 
To have your private parafitc redecme 
What hee, in publick fubtilty, will lofe 
To making him a name. Hat. Rightm ighty lod i 

Tib. Wc mull: make up our cares, 'gainft thefc affaults 
Of charming tongues ; we pray yon, ufe no more 
Thefe contumelies to us : ftile not us 
Or lord, or mighty, who profefle our felfe 
The fervant of the Senate, and are proud 
T'enjoy them our good, juft, and favouring lords. 

Cor. Rarely dillembled. Arr. Prince-like, to the life. 

Sab. " When power, that may command, (b much defcends, 
<c Their bondage, whom it ftoopes to, it intends. 

Tib. Whence are thefe letters? Hat. From the Senate. Tib. So, 
Whence thefe? Lat. From thence too. Tib. Are they fitting, no-r? 

Lat. They ftay thy anfwer, C^sar. Sil. If this man 
Had but a mind allied unto his words. 
How bleft a fate were it to us, and Rome I 

We could not think that State, for which to change, 
Although the ayme were our old liberty : 
The ghofts of thofe that fell for that, would grieve 
Their bodies liv'd not, now, againe to fcrve. 
<c Men are decciv'dj who think there can be thrall 
u Beneath a vertuous prince. Wifh'd liberty 
ft Ne're lovelyer looks, than under fuch a crowne. 
But, when his grace is racerely but lip-good, 
And, that no longer than he ayres himfelfe 
Abroad in publick, there, to feeme to flumn 
The ftrokes, and ftripes of flatterers, which within 
A re lechery unto him, and fo feed 
His brutifh fenfe with their affli&ing found. 
As (dead to vcrtue ) he permitts himfelfe 
Be carried like a pitcher, by the eares, 
To every aft of vice : this is a cafe 
Defervcs our feare, and doth prcfage the nieh 
And clofe approach of blood and tyranny 6 
"Flattery is midwife unto Princes rage : 
a And nothing fooner, doth helpc forth aTyranne, 
a I hen that, and whifperers grace, who have the time 
a P « ' ? c P? vcr > to make ' all men offenders. 

WfcK: i e i ?^ ^ toId this 5 and bc bid diflemble 

vvun tools, and bhnde men : Wc that know the evill, ^ 



Should hunt the Pilacc-ratts, or give them bane * 
Fright hence thefc worfc than ravens, that devoure 
The quick, where they but prey upon the dead : 
Hee fnall bc told it. Sab. Stay, Arruntius, 
Wee mu ft abide our opportunity : 
And practifc what is fir, as what is necdfull. 
'• It is not fafet enforce a foveraigne's care ; 
" Princes hcare well , if they at all will heare. 

Arr. Ha? Say you fo ? well. In the mcanetimcJovE^ 
(Say not , but I doe call upon thee now,) i 

Of all wild beads, prcfervc mee from a tyranne ; 
And of all tame, a flatterer. Sil. 'Tis well pray'd. 

Ti b . Returnc the lords this voyce, wc are their creature: 
And it is fir, a good and honeft prince, 
Whom they, out of their bounty, have inftructcd 
With fo dilate and abfolutc a power , 
Should owe the office of it, to their iervice, 
And good of all, and every Citizen. 
Nor fhall it e're repent us, to have wifh'd 
The Senate juft, and fav'ring lords unto us , 
" Since their free loves doe yccld no lcffe defence 
" T'a princes State, than his owne innocence. 
Say then, there can bc nothing in their thought 
Shall want to pleafe us, that hath pleafed them - 
Our Suffrage rather fhall prevent, than flay 
Behind their wills: 'tis empire, to obey, 
Where fuch, Co grear, fo grave, Co good determine . ! 
Ycr, for the futc of Spain, t'ercct a Temple 
In honour of our mother, and our felfe, 
Wee muft (wirh pardon of the Senate) not 
AlTent thereto. Their lordfhips may object 
Oiir not denying the lame Jate rcqueft 
Unto the Afian Cities: Wee defire 
That our defence , for fuffering that, be knowne 
In thefe briefc rcafbn-, with our after purpofe. 
Since deified Augustus hindrcd not 
A Temple to be built, at Pergamum, 
In honour of himfelfe, and facred Rome-, 
We, that have all his deeds, and words obferv'd 
Ever, in place of Lawes, the rather follow'd 
That pleafing prefident, becaufe, with ours, 
The Senates reverence alfo, there, was joyn'd. 
But, as, t'have once receiv'dir, may deferve 
The gaine of pardon; fo, to be ador'd 
With the continue! ftile, and note of gods, 
i hrough all the provinces, were wild ambition, 
And no lcfTe pride : Yea even Augustu s name 
Would early vanifh, ftould it be prophan'd 
With fuch promifcuous flatteries. For our part, 
v\ ec here proteft it, and arc covetous 








Poftcrity mould know it, wee are morull; 

And can but deeds of men : ^/^ ™ ou 3 h \ A 

Could wee be truly a prince. And, they (1*11 addc 

Abounding grace, unto our memory, 

That mall report us worthy our fore-fathCrs, 

Carefull of your aflaires, conftant u> dangers, 

And not afraid of any private frowne 

For publick good. Thcfc things (hall be to us 

Temples, and Statues, reared in our minds, 

The faircft, and moft during imag ne : 

For rhofe of ftone, or brafTc, if they become 

Odious in judgement of pofteritie, 
Arc more contemn'd as dying fepulchres, 
Than tane for living monuments. Wee then 
Make here our fine, alike to gods, and men, 
The one, untill the period of our race, 
T'infpire us with a free, and quiet mind, 
Difccrning both divine, and humane lawes; 
The other, to vouchfafe us after death, 
An honourable mention, and fairc praife, 
T'accompany our actions, and our name : 
The reft of greatnefle princes may command, 
And (therefore) may ncgledfc $ only, a long, 
A lafting, high, and happy memory 
They fhould, without being fatisfied, purfiie. 
Contempt of Fame begets contempt of Vertue. 

Nat. Rare! Sat. Moft divine! Sej. The Oracles are cets'd, 
That only Cesar, with their tongue, might fpeak. 
Arr. Let mee be gone, moft felt, and open this ! 
Cor. Stay. Arr. What? to heare mow cunning, and finevflM 
With their found flattcr'd, ere their fenfc be meant ? 
Tib. Their choife of Antium ) there to place the gift 

,a, y° w ' d t( ?, d ; c g° dd efTe, for out mothers health, 
Wee will the Senate know, wee fairely like j 
As alfo,of their grant to Lepidus, 
For his repay ring the v£mi\ian place, 
And reftauration of thofc monuments : 
Their g racc too in confining of Si l anus, 
To th other IsHc Cither a h an d the fute 
Ot h.s rcligKws filler, much commends 
A heir _pohcic fo temp'red with their mercy. 
£ur, for the honours, which they have decreed 

In.PoMPE, s theatre (whofe ruining fire 
His vigilance, and lab™ kept reftrain'd 

Thli 'I 000 b(t) th 7 havc > ther ™ <>«t- g ofle 

Iheir ownc great wifcWs, by their skillfull choice, 

And placing of their bounties, on a man, 

™lx>Ic merit more adoroes tht dignity, 

Tban that can him : and gives a bcW, u 

Sej anus* 

In taking, greater, than it can receive. 

Blum nor,SEJANus, thou great aid of Rome) 

Aflbciatc of our labours, our chiefe helper; 

Let us not force thy fimple modeftic 

With offering at thy praife, for more wee cannot; 

Since there s no voice can take it. No man, here, 

Receive our fpeeches, as Hyberbolet ■ 

For wee arc farrc from flattering our friend, 

(Let envy know) as from the need to flatter. 

Nor let them aske the caufes of our praife . 

Princes have ftill their grounds rear'd with themfelves, 

Above the poore low flats of common men; 

And, who will fcarch the reafons of their ack 

Muft {land on cquall bafes. Lead, away. 

Our loves uuto the Senate. Arr. Cafar. Sab. Peace. 

Cor. Great Pompki's theatre was never ruin'd 
Till now, that proud Sej anus hath a ftatue 
Rear'd 011 his alhes. Arr. Place the flume of fouldiers, 
Above the bed of Gcneralls ? crack the world! 
And bruife the name of Romans into duft, 
E're wee behold it! $ IL . Check your paflion; 
Lord Drusus tarries. Dru. Is my father mad? 
Wcanc of life, and rule, lords? thus to heave 
An idoll up with praife! make him his mate/ 
His nvall in the Empire! Arr. O, good prince 

Dim. Allow him ftatues ? titles ? honours? fuch, 
As hec himfelfe refiafeth ? Arr. Brave, brave Drusus / 

Dru. The firft afcents to foveraigntie are hard; 
Lut entrcd once, there never wants or mcanes, 
Or minifters, to helpe th'afpircr on. ' 

t ,, R 'i Jpx>& l k™ Drusus. Dru. We muft fhorrly pray 
To ^Modejlte, that he will reft contented - V 7 

Arr. I, where he is, and not write Erap'rour. 



Sej anus, Drusus, Arruntius, &c. 

Here is your bill, and yours ; Bring you your man : 
I have mov d for you, too, Latiaris. Dru. What? 
Is your vaft greatnefle growne fo blindly bold, 
inat you will over us? Sej. Why, then give way. 

Dru. Give way, Cohjfut f Doe you life? Advance you? 
lake that. Arr. Good ! brave ! excellent brave Prince ! 

Dru. Nay come approach. What? ftand you off? at gaze 
It looks too full of death, for thy cold fpirits. *^ 

Avoyd mine eye, dull camelI,or my fword 
?hall make thy brav'rie fitter for a grave, 
■Than for a triumph. I'fc advance a ftatue, 
v£7™i^. 5 but -t fl!all be on the crofte: 

Aa cne^lr^r y ° Ur P r . ide > at bredch > and ,en gth, 
And crack thofe finewes, which are yet but ftretchd 

Ff 2 

He mm , f§U 

Uvtd wth qU* 


Drufis (lri\ts 




With your fwolnc fortunes"^. Arr. A noble prince ! 
Ali . A Castor, a Castor , a Castor, a Ca S t 0K ! 


HE that with fuch wrong mov'd , can bcarc it through 
With patience , and an even mind, knowes how 
To turnc it back. Wrath, cover d carryesfatc: 
Revenge is loft, if I profelTe my hate. 
What was my pratfife late, lie now purfue 
As my fell jufticc. This hath ihld it new. 


Of Muficlam. 



Sejanus, Livia, Eudemus. 

PHyfician, thou art worthy of a province, 
For the great favours done unto our loves • 
And, but that greateft Livia beares a part 
In the requitall of thy fervices, 
I fhould alone, defpaire of ought like meanes, 
To give them worthy fatisfa&ion. 

Liv. Eudemus (I will fee it) (hall receive 
A fir, and full reward, for his large merit. 

But for this potion, wee intend to Drusus, 

(No more our husband, now) whom (hall wee choofc 

As the moft apt, and ableft initruraent, 

To mini for it to him ? Eud. I fay, Lygdus. 

Sej. Lygdus? what's hee ? Liv. An Eunuch Drusus loves. 

Eud. I, and his cup-bearer. Snj. Name not a fecond. 
If Drusus love him, and hee have that place, 
Wee cannot think a fitter. Eud. True, my lord. 
For free accede, and truft, arc two mainc aids. 

Sej. Skillfull phyficiani Liv. But he mull: bee wrought 
To th' undertaking, with forae labour'd Art. 

Sej. Is hee ambitious ? Liv. No. Sej. Or covetous? 

Liv. Neither. Eud. Yet, gold is a good generali charme. 

Sej. What is hee then ? Liv. Faith, onely wanton, light. 

Mi). How.' Is 1-ee young? and fairc? Eud. A delicate youth. 

5ej. Send him to mce, 1 Ic work him. Royall lady, 
Though I have lov d you long, and with that height 
Of zcale, and duty, (like the fire , which more 
It mounts it trembles) thinking nought could adde 
Unto the fervour, which your eye had kindled- 
i ct, now, I fee your wifdome, judgement, ftrcngth, 
^icknelTe, and will, to apprehend the meanes 
lo your ownc good, and arcatncite, I proteft 
My felfc through rarefied, and tumd aft flame 



In your affection : Such a fpirit a s yours, 
Was not created for the idle fecond, 

To a poore flafh, as Drusus j but to fliinc 
Bright, as the Moon, amona the lefler lights, 

And fhare the fov'rcigntie of all the world. 
Then Livia triumphs in her proper fphcare, 
When fhec, and her Sejanus fhall divide 

The name of C^saR jaixl Augusta's frarre 

Be dimm'd with glory of a brighter bcame: 

When Agrippina's fires are quite cxtincl, 

And the fcarcc-feene Tiberius borrowes all 

His little light from us-, wliofe folded armes 

Shall mike one perfcdl Orbc. Who's that? Eudemus • 

Look, 'tis not Drusus > Lady, doe not fearc. ' 

Liv. Not I, my lord. My fearc, and love of him 
Left mce at once. Sej. llluitrous lady! flay — — 

Eud. l'lc tell his~lord(hip. Sej. Who is'r, Eudemus? 

Eud. One of your lordfljips fcrvants, brings you word 
The Emp'rour hathfent for you. Sej. O: where' is he? 
With your faire leave, deare PrincciTe. l'le but aske 
A qucftiou, and rcturne. Eud. Fortunate Princehe ! 
How are you blcft in the fruition 
Of this uncqual'd man, this foule of Rome, 
The Empires life, and vbyce of C/Esars world! 

Liv. So blcfled, my Eudemus, as to know 
The bliffe I have, with what I ought to owe 
The meanes that wrought it. How do I lookc to day ? 

Eud. Excellent clcer, beleevc it. This fame fueus 
Was well layd on. Liv. Me thinks, 'tis here not white. 

Eud . Lend me your fcarlet, lady. 'Tis the funne 
Hath giv n fome little taint unto the cerufr, 
You mould have us'd of the white oyle I gave you. 
Sejanus, for your love! his very name 
Commandeth above Cupid, or his fhafts- ■ - 

Anfc Nay ' n ™ y°> v J ™ de ic worfe - Eud. He helpc it ftraight.) 
And, but pronounc d, is a fufficent charme ° 

Againft all rumour j and of abfolute power 
To farisfie for any ladies honour. 

(Liv. What doc you now, Eudemus? Eud. Make a light fuctv 
To touch you ore withall.) Honor'd Sejanus J "WW"* 

What a 61 (though ne're Co ftrange, and infolent) 
JJUt that addition will at leaft bearc our, 
JJ t doe not expiate ? Liv. Here, good phyfician. 
£ud. I like this' fludy to preferve the love 
y} »uch a man, that comes not every houre 
'o greet .the world. (*Tis now well, lady, you (hould 

f c °, f che *»"'&" , I prefcrib'd you, too, 

o cleere your teeth, and the prepard pomatum. 
* o frnooth the skinne: ) A lady cannot bee 
J oo curious of her forme, that ftill would hold 

Ff 3 The 


U: tpttOHt. 






TSThSr^nbdTT^rfon, mule her captive, 
As you luvchis:who,rocndc.rqb.mnorc 
V vourclcerc eye, harh put away his wife, 
The trouble of his bed, *nd youiTddightv 
Faire Afkto* and made fpattoowaatate 

To your new pleafurcs. Liv. Have not wee return *im 

That with our hate of DRusUsynrid difcovcrie 

Ofal'l hiscounfels? Eud- Ycs,and wifely, lady, 

The a<rcs that fuccccd, and ftandhrrc oft 

To one at your high prudence, fhall admire, 

Arufrcckon it an art, without your fex : 

It harh that rare appearance. Sonic will think- 

Your fortune could not yecld a deeper found, 

Than mixt with Drusus ; But, when they (lull hcarc 

Thar, and the thunder of Sejaxus nicer, 

Sejanus, whofe high name doth ftrikc the fhrrs, 

And rings about the concave, great Sejanus, 

Whofe glorycs, (tile, and titles are himlclfe, 

The often iterating of Sejanus : • . ; 

They then will lofc their thoughts, and be afliam'd 

To take acquaintance of them. Sej. I rauft make 

A rude departure, lady. C its a r fends 

With all his haftc both of command, and prayer. 

Be rcfolutc in our plot s you have my foule, 

As certaine yours, as k is my bodies. 

And, wife phifician, fo prepare the poyfbn 

As you may lay the fubtile operation 

Upon fome naturall difeafe of his. 

Your eunuch fend to ine. I kihe yout hands, 

Glory of ladies, and commend my love 

To your beft faith, and memory. Liv. My lord, 

I mall but change your words. Farewell. Yet, this 

Kcmcmber for your heed, hec loves you not- 

You know, what I have told you: His defignes 

Are tul t grudge, and danger : wee muft ufe 


Fun WT m ' a , r ° i calt leC fonh to n ^w. 

T fl?u v Vl1 yoQ » akc fomc Phyfick,lady? Liv. When 
1 fhall, Eudemus : But let Drusus drug 
Be hr ft prepaid. Eud. Were LvrniK m a i • i 
1 have ic ready. And to JESS^*'"^ 
k lend you a perfume, firft to rcfolve 6 > 

A-d I procure ft^dS^SSJ 

To elenfe, and cleare the Cut;* t • „ , 
Refi'S^T'^^^S ' 

or wind, 



hich you fhall lay on w I 2u ° J . 

you beft like, and hft fom f ^^ "l* 

us change came ZJS^S^l *■** 

D ^-ViWUy, for your health, 



And the rcftoring your complexion, 
Which Drusus cholcr had almoft burnt up: 
Wherein your fortune hath pre ferib'd you better' 
Than Art could doc. Liv. : Thanks, good phyfician, 
I'le ufe my fortune (you (hall fee) with reverence. 
Is my coach ready? Eud. It attends your highnefle. 



* J I 



And print my body full of injuries. 

Thou loft thy felfc, child Drusus, when thou rhought'ft 

Thou could' ft out-skip my vengeance : or out-ftand 

The power I had to crufh thee into ayre. 

Thy follies now (hall rafte what kind of man 

They have provok'd, and this thy fathers houfe 

Crack in the flame of my incenled rage, 

Whofe fury fhall admit no fhamc, or meane. 

Adultery? it is the lighted ill, 

1 will commit. A race of wicked acts 

Shall flow out of my anger, and o're-fpread 

1 he worlds wide face, which no po (Verity : 

Shall e're approve, nor yet keep lllenc i Things -' ' 

That for their cunning, clofe, and fcrucll raarke,' 1 

1 hy father would wifh his ; and fhall (perhaps) - 

Carry the empty name, but wee the prize. 

On then, my foulc, and ftart not in thy courier 

Though heav'n drop fulphur, and helj belch our'firc 3 

Laugh at the idle terrors s Tell proud Jove, 

Between his power, and thine, there is no oddes. 

Tivas onely fcare, firft, in the world nude gods. - 

CT I ' 

I * 

*• • 






. T 







S yet Sejanus come? Sej. He's here, dread Cjesar. 
Tib. Let all depart that chamber, and the next : 
Sit downc, my Comfort. When the maftcr-prince 
Of all the world, Sejanus, faith, hce feares; 
'sic not fatall? Sej. Yes> to thofc arc fcar'd. 

Ti b. And nor to him ? Sh j. Nor, if he wifely tnrne 
That part of fate hce holdcth, firft on them. 

Tik. That nature, blood,and lawes of kind forbid. 

Snj. Doc Poiicie, and State forbid it ? Tib. No. ** 

Sf.j. The rrft of poorc refpccls, then, let gocby ; 
State is enough to make th'aft juft, them guilty. 

Tib. Long hate purfues fuch acls. Se/< Whom hatred frights, 
Let him not dreame of fov'raignty. Tib. Are rites 
Of faith, love, piety, to bee trod downc ? 
forgotten ? and made vaine ? Sej. All for a aowna 
prince, who flumes a tyrannes name to bcare, 

' Shall 



Shall never dare doe any thing, but fcarc ; 

All the command of fecpters quite doth pcnlli 

Ifit beginne religious thoughts to chenfli : 

Whole Empires 'fall, fwayd bv thofc nice refpeds j 

It is the licence of darkc deeds protects 

Ev'n States moft hated : when no Iawes refill: , 

The fword, but that it atfeth what it lift. 

Tir.. Yet fo, we may doo all things cruelly, 
Not fafcly: Sej. Yes, and doe them throughly. 

Tib. Knowcs ycc Si- janus, whomwc point at? Snj. I, 
Or clfe my thought, my fenfe, or both doc erre : 
'Tis Ag rut in a? Tin. She-, and her proud race. 

Sej. Proud? dangerous, C/£sar. For in them apace 
The fathers fpirit (hoots up. Germ amicus 
Lives in their looks, their gate, their forme, t'upbrayd us 
With his clofe death, if not revenge the fame. 

Tib. The ad's not knownc. Sej. Not prov'd. But vvhifpering fj mc 
Knowledge and proofc doth to the jealous give, 
Who, then to faile, would their owne thought belecve. 
It is not fafc, the children draw long breath, 
That are provoked by a parents death. 

Tib. It is as dangerous, to make them hence, 
If nothing but their birth be their offence. 

Sej. Stay, till they ftrikc at Caesar : then their crime 
Will be enough, but late, and out of time 
For him to punifli. Tib. Doe. they purpofe it? 

Sej. You know, fir, thunder /peaks not till it hitt. 
Be not fecure : none /vvifdyer arc oppreft, 
Than they, whom confidence betrayes to reft. 
Let not your daring make your danger fuch : 
All power's to be fcar'd, where 'tis too much. 
The youths are (of themfclvcs ) hot, violent, 
Fun of great thought; and that male-fpiritcd dame, 
I heir mother, flacks no meanes to put them on, 
% large allowance, popular prefentings, 
Incrcafc of trainc, and ftate, fuing for titles; 
Hath them commended with like prayers, like vowes, 
Jo the fame Gods, with C*sar : dayes and nights 
£nce fpends in banquets, and ambitious feafts 
K>r the Nobilitic ; where Caius Silius, 
Iitius Sadinus,oW Arruntius, 
Asinius Gall us, Furnius, Regulus 
And others, of that difcontcntcd lift 
Are the prime gucfts. There, and to thefe, ftec tells 

AnH°^ "TfiT was ' wh0f ^ a ^^er,and whofewifc ; 
And xhen muft they compare her with Augusta 5 
I, and prcferrc her too 5 commend her forme 
Extoll her fruitfulncflc s at which a fl.owre ' 

w? • u r , thc n Cmonc of Germanicus, 

* Inch they blow over ftraight, with windic praife, ^ 



And purling hopes of her afpiring fbnnes : 

Who, with thefe hourcly ticklings, grow fo pleas'd, 

And wantonly conceited of themfclvcs, 

As now, they ftick not to belecve they're fuch, 

As thefe doe give 'hem out : and would be thought 

( More than competitors) immediate hcires. 

Whilft to their thirft of rule they winne the rout 

(That's ftill the friend of noveltic ) with hope 

Of future frecdome, which on every change, 

That greedily, though emptily, expects. 

CvESAu, 'tis age in all things breeds neglects, 

And Princes that will kecpe old dignity, 

Muft not admit too youth full hcires ftand by ; 

Not their owne ifluc : but fo darkcly fet 

As fliadowes arc in picture, to give height, 

And luftre to themfclvcs. Tib. We will command 

Their rank thoughts dovvnc, and with a ftri&cr hand 

Than wee have yet put forth, their traincs muft bare, 

Their titles, feafts, and factions. Sej. Or your ftate. 

But how fir, will you work ? Tib. Confine 'hem, Sej. No. 

They arc too grcar, and that too faint a blow, 

To give them now : it would have ferv'd at firft, 

When, with the wcakeft touch, their knot had burft. 

Bur, now, your care muft be, not to detect 

The fmalleft cord, or line of your fufpcot; 

For fiich, who know the weight of Princes fcare, 

Will, when they find themfclvcs difcovcr'd, reare 

Their forces, like feene fnakes, that elfe would lye 

Rould in their circles, clofe : Nought is more high, 

Daring, or defperate, than offenders found ; 

Where guilt is, rage and courage doth abound. 

The courfe muft be, to let 'hem ftill fwcll up, 

Riot, and furfet on blind fortunes cup 5 

Give 'hem more place, more dignities, more ftile, 

Call 'hem to Court, to Senate: in the while, 

Take from their ftrength fome one or twaiae, or more 

Of the maine Fautors •, ( It will fright the ftore ) 

And, by fome by-occafion. Thus, with flight 

You (hall difarme firft; and they ( in ni^ht 

Of their ambition) not perceive the traine, 

Till, in the ingine, they are caught, and flaine. 

Tib. Wee would not kill, if we knew how to favcj 
Yet, than a throne, 'tis cheaper give a grave. 
Is there no way to bind them by deferts ? 

Si { j. Sir, wolves doe change their haire, but not their hearts. 
While thus your thought unto a mesne is tied, 
}l ou neither dare enough, nor doe provide. 
All modcftie is fondj and cheifly where 
lie fubjeft is no leffe compell'd to bcarc, 

Inan praifc his fovreigncs acts. Tib. Wc can no longer 





Kccpc on our mafque to thee, our deare SbjANus 5 

Th/thoughts arc ours, in all, and we but prov d 

Their voyce, in our defignes, which by Renting 

Hath more eonfirm'd us than if heatnmg Jove 

Had, from his hundred (toes, bid _us hike 

And at the ftrokc clickt all his marble thumbs. 

Bur,whoOialI firAbc foookc? Sej. Firft, Caius Silius 5 

He is the mod of marke, and mod of danger: 

In rower, and reputation cquall ftrong, 

Having commanded. an imperial! armic 

Seven yeercs together, vanquifhd Sacrovir 

In Germane, and thence obtain'd to wcarc 

The ornaments triumphal!. His ftcen fall. 

By hour much it doth give the weightier crack, 

Will fend more wounding tcrrour to the reft, 

Command them Hand aloofc, and give more way 

To our furprifing of the principal!. 

Tib. But what, Sabinus ? Sej. Let him grow awhile? 
His fate is not yet ripe : we mull not pluck 
At all together, left we catch our felves. 
And there's Arjuintius too, he only talks. 
But So si a j Si Liu's wife, would be wound in 
Now, for (he hath a furie in her breft, 
More, than hell ever knew; and would be fent 
Thither in time. Then, is there one Cremutius 
Cordus, a writing fellow, they have got 
To gather notes of the precedent times, 
And make them into Annals; a moft tart 
And bitter fpirit ( I hcare ; ) who, under colour 
Of prayfing thofe, doth taxe the prefent ftatc^ 
Ccnfurcs the men, the actions, leaves no trick, 
No praftifc un-examin'd, parallels 
The times, the governments; a profeft champion, 

For the old libcrtic Tib. A perifhing wretch. 

As if there were that Chaos bred in things 
That hires, and libertie would not rather choofe 
To be quite broken, and tane hence by us, 
Than have the ftainc to be preferv'd by fuch. 
Have we the mcancs, to make thefc guiltie, firft? 

**h Truft that to me : let C^sar, by his power, 
But caufe a formall meeting of the Senate, 
1 v Ii U ha vc matter, and accufcrs readic. 
Tw' But L how ? lct us confult. Sej. We flu 11 raifpend 

In hnfi" 6 / a6ki0n - C0Unrck arC U " fic 

WV whnc a11 rcft is mor * pernicious 
£t? an bc « Afts of ^is clofe kind 

The re is n. C r y CXCCUtion > than advicc « 
WhTch r?n 1D 2 nn g in that work begun, 

Tib or°;. praircd bc > untiU *™& d one. 
iib. Our cdift null, forthwith, command a court. 

Sej anus. 


While I can live, I will prevent earths fury : 

■iui detain®* ya'ia. [ii^irat vvpl. 


A/|Y Lord Sejanus- Sej. Julius Posthumus, 

J-*- 1 Come with my with J what newes from Ac rippina's ? 
Pos. Faith none. They all lock up themfelvcs a'Ute; 

Or talk in charafter : I have not feene 

A company fo chang'd. Except they had 

Intelligence by augurie of our practice. (found you ? 

Sej. When were you there > Pos. Laftnight. Sej. Andwhatgucfts 
Pos. Sabinus, Silius, (the old lift,) Arruntius, 

Furnius, and Callus-. Sej. Would not thefe talk? Pos. Little. 

And yet wee offcr'd chovee of argument. 

Satkius was with me. ' Sej.. Well: 'tis guilt enough 
f heir often meeting. You forgot t'extoll 

The hofpitablc Lac!ie?.Pos. No, that trick 

Was well put home, and had fucceded too, 

But that Saeinus caught a caution out; 

For flice began to fwell : Sej. And may fhee burft. 

Julius, I would have you < w oc inftantly, 

Unto the Palace of the great Augusta, 

And, (by your kindeft friend,) getfwifc acceflTe; 

Acquaint her, with thefe meetings : Tell the words 

You brought mec, ( thbther day ) of Silius, 

Addc fomewhatto'hem. Make her undcrftand 

The danger of Sabinus, and the times, 

Out of his dofcnefTe. Give Arruntius words 

Of malice againftC^sAR; fo, to Gallus : 

But (above all) to Agrippina. Say, 

(As you may truly ) that her infinite pride, 

Propt with the hopes of her too fruitfull wombc, 

With popular ftudics gapes for fovcraigntie • 
• And threatens C*sar. Pray Auqusta then, 

That for herowne, great C*sars, and the pub- 

Wee lafetie, fhee be plcas'd to urge thelc dangers. 

C/Esar is too fecure ( he muft be told, 

And beft hee'll take it from a mothers tongue.) 

Alas ! what is 't for us to found, t" explore, 

loivatch, oppofc, plot, pradife, or prevent, 

« nee, for whom it is fo ftrongly labour 'd, 

^haU, out of ^reatneftc, and free fpirit, be 

Supinely negligent ? Our Ciric's now 


And men forbcare not to declare themfclves 

<J tAoRip P , NA ' s partic. Everyday, 

I J ra muIti P lics 5 and will doe more, 
IfnocrefiM.-youcan beft inhrge it, ' 
As you 6nd audience. Noble Posthumus, 
Commend mce to your Pr ISC a : and pray her, 



ilHUliA ?rifc *- 


5h ee will foliate this gcatSS^ 

To earned and moft pfen^STA 

With all her utmoft credit with Augusta. 
Pos foil ^t feifc in jny inftniaions. • 

Shi This fecond(from his mother) will well urge 

Outlaw defignc, and fpur or i Cjesars rage: 

Which clfe might grow remnfe. The way, to put 

A Prince in bbud, 5 to prefent the . fhapes 

Of dangers, greater than they arc ( like late, 

Or early fhadows ) and, fometimcs, to fame 

Where there arc none, only, to make him feare ; 

His fcarc will make him cruel! : And once cntrcd, 

He doth not cafily lcarnc to ftop, or fpare 

Where he may doubt. This have I made my rule, 

To thru ft Tiberius into tyrannie, 

And make him tofle, to turne afidc thofc blocks, 

Which I alone, could not remove with fafetie. 

Drusus oncegonci Gbrmanicus three fonnes 

Would clog my way ; whofe guards have too much faith 

To be corrupted : and their mother knowne 

Of too-too unrcprov'd a chaftitie, 

To be attempted, as light Livia was. . 

Work then, my arr,on Cesar's fcares, as they 

On thofc they fcarc, till all mybcttsbcclear'd: 

And hee inruincs of his houfc, and hate 

Of all his fub je&s, bury his ownc State. 

When, with my peace, and fafetie, I will rife, 

By making him the publick facrifice. 

Satrius, N a t t a. 


"F Hey 'arc growne exceeding circumfpecT, and wary. 
■*• Nat. They have us iH the wind : And yet, Arruntius 
Cannot containe himfelfe. Sat. Tur,hee'snot yet 
Look'd after, there arc others more defir'd, 
That arc more filent. Nat. Here he comes. Away. 

Sabinus, Arrunti us, C o a d u s. 

14 Ow is ir, that thefc beagles haunt the houfc 

Of Agrippina? Arr. O, they hunt, they hunt. 
There i s f me game here lodg'd, which they muft roufc, 
To make the great-ones fport. Cor. Did youobferve 
How they invcigrul gainft CasAr ? Arr. I ; bayts, bay ts, 
For us to bite at : would 1 have my flefh 

J, 0rn f ty thc P ublick hooke, thefc qualified hang-men 
Mould be my company. Cor. Here comes another. 

Arr. I, there's a man, Afkr the Orator! 
One, that hath phrafes, figurcs,and fine flowers, • 
lo iirew his Rbetorick with, and doth makchafte 
lo get him note, or name, by any offer 
Wftcre bloud, or gainc be objects •, ftccpes his words, 

WW 1 





When hee would kill, in artificial! teares : 

The Crocodile ot Tyberl hinU I OVC} • 

1 hat man is mine ; Hcc hath my hcarr, and voice, 

When 1 would curfc 5 hc,hc sab. Conremnc thc flaves, 

Their prefent lives will be their future graves. 

SiLius,. Agrippina, Nero, So si a. 
iV| Ay't plcafc your Highnefle not forget your felfc, 

v L n °r J 7 th m y - manncrs > ro attempt 

° c Ur tf ?? b l e fardcr ' Ag K - Farewell, noble Sii/ms. 
biL. Molt royall Princcfle. Agr. Sosia ftayes with us 
8«L. 5 hcc is- your fcryant, and doth owe your grace 

An honcft, but unprofitable love, i 8 

S»*" YnurT ^'^^f" tbcr f' S "OR^but vertuoii*? 

T m ^ n ° • , hc , f 1 ™ lj noC thc Politick fc n^e. 
I meant, as fhee is bold, and free of fpeech, 

tarneft to urter what her zealous thought 

7 ravailcs withall, in honour of your houfe 5 . * 

\\ hicfa a5 as it is fimply borne in her, 

Partakes of love, and honeftie; but may, rfi'i 

By thover-ofrcn, and unfeafon'd ufc, ! 

Rirre-to your lofle, and danger: For your Stat* - 

Is waytcd on by envies, as by eyes 5 - 

And every fecond gucft your tables take, 

is a feed foie, tobferve who goes, who comes,' , 
r c P^c you have, with whom, where, wherv 

V\hai the d.feourfe. is, what thc lookers, the .tbouehts 
pfevry pcrfon there, they doc extract 
£nd make into a fubrtancc. Agr. Hearc me^uus, 
Were all Tiberius body ftuck with eyes, . - - ' 

And cv ry wall and hanging in my houfc 

i ranlparcnt, as this lawqe 1 wearc, or ayre : : < : . • 
Yea, had Sejanus both his cares as long . 
As to my in-moft clofet : I would hate 
lo whifper any thought, or change an ac\ 
To bee made Juno's rivall. Vcrtues forces 
Shew ever nobleft in confpicuous courfes. 

bi l. ris great, and bravely fpoken, like the fpiric 
u Agrippina : yet, your -highneffe knowes, 





lucre is nor lofle, nor fhame in providence : 
£«r can, what all mould doc, bevvarc enough. 
you may perceive with, what officiousTacc, 

^atrius, and Natta,.Afer, and the reft 
Vifite your houfe, of late, t'enquirc thc fecrets : 

Tel r P W f r T * S yC2 ' a " a ^ t Ti b E R I us ; y 

re 1 tricks of L,viA,and Sejanus 5 all 

fc C ' '^ f\ y ° Ur "W» on, ■ 

lhan thcymight hcare ic at more liberde. 

Aor. Yoare too fufpiti 0U s, Saius. Sil. Pray the god,, 









l be r °r h °n ' n P nfti« Staff** to flrike 

Some fubtill practice, mev , 
At fo cxamp-lefle, and u*^ d a1 ^ 
As that of the renown d Germanicus, 
Will not fit domic, with that exploit alone : 
- He threatens many, that hath injur d one. 

Ner 'Twcrc beft rip forth their tongues, fcare out their eyes, 
When next they come. Sos. A fie reward for fpics. 

Drusus ju. Ac rippin a, Nero, Sili Us . 


Eare you the rumour ? Agr. What ? Dru. Drusus is dying, 
Agr. Dying ? Ner. That's ftrangcl Agr. Yo'wcre with him, 
Dru. One met Eudemus, the Phyfician^ (yefternight. 

Sent for, but now : who thinks he cannot live. 

Sil. Thinks ? if t bearriv'd at that, he knowes, 
Or none. Agr. This's quick! what fhouldbe his difeafe? 

Sil. Poyfon, Poyfon — Agr. How, Silius^ Ner. What's that? 

Sil. Nay, nothing. There was ( late) a certain blow 
Giv'n o' the face. Ner. I,toSEJANus? Sil. True. 

Dru. And, what of that ? Sil. lam glad I gave it not. 

Ner. But, there is fomewhat el(e ? Sil. Yes, private meetings, 
With a great Ladie, at a'Phyficians, 

And a wife turn'd away Ner. Ha J Sil. Toyes,meerctoyes: 

What wifdom's now i'th'ftrcets ? i'th'common mouth ? 

Dru. Feares, whifp 'rings, tumults, noife, I know not what: 
They fay, the Senate fits. Sil. Tie thither, ftraight; 
And fee what's in the forge. Agr. Good Silius, doe; 
Sosu,and I will in. Sil. Hafte you, my Lords, 
To vifit the fick Prince j tender your loves, 
And forrowes to the people. This SsJANUs 
(Truft my divining foule) hath plots on all: 
No tree, that flops his profped, but muft fall. 


Of Muficians, 

-A eft 



Sejanus,Varro, Latiaris. 


Gall us, Lepidus, Arruntius. 
Pracones, Lictores. 

TIs only you muft urge againft him, Varro 5 
Nor I, nor C^-sar may appeare therein, 

AnJ -^P*" 1 your defence, who are the Confu! : 
And, under colour of late en'mitie 

Between your father, and his, may better doe it, 
As free from all fuf pition of \ £&ke m 

Bee cunning T S > whaC points to couch at 3 readc: 
CC CUnnu) g in *«i. Afer has them too. 


^ ^ 

Var. Burishcfummond? Sej. No. It was debated 
By C/Esar, and concluded as mod fit 
To rake him unprcpar'd. Afe. And profecute 
All under name of treafon. Var. I conceive. 

Sab. Drusus being dead, Caisar will not be here. 

GaT. What fhould the bufincflcof this Senate bee e 

Ark. '1 hat can my fubtill whifperers tell you : We 
That arc the goo J-dull-noblc lookers on, 
Arc only call' J 10 keep the marble warmc. 
What mould we doc with chofc deep myfteries 
Proper to thefe fine heads ? let them alone. ' 
Our ignorance may, perchance, helpc us be fav'd 
From whips, and furies. Gal. Sec, fee, fee, their action! 

Arr. I, now their heads doe travel!, now they work- 
Their faces runne like fliittles, they are weaving 
Some curious cobweb to catch flyes. Sab. Obfervc, 
They rake their places. Arr. What, fo low? G \l! O yes 
1 hey muft be fecne to flatter Calsars gricfe, ' 

Though but in fitting. Var. Bid usfilcncc. Pr/e. Silence. 

Var. Fathers Conjcript, ma) this our t refent meeting 
Turnefairey and fortunate to the Common-rvealth. 

Silius, Senate. 

gEc, Silius enters. Sil. Haile grave Fathers. Lie. Stand. 

Tif'r 115 ; °k , arCthy u placc : Sen * Hovv! P^- Silius ftand forth, 

The Conful hath to charge thee. Lie. Roomc for C^sar. 
Arr. Is hec come too? nay then expccT a trick. 
Sab. Silius accus'd? fure he will anfwer nobly. 

Tiberius, Senate. 

E ftand amazed, Fathers, to behold 

This gcnerall dejeftion. Wherefore fit 
Rows Confuls thus diflblv'd, as they had loft 
All the remembrance both of ftile, and place ? 
Jt not becomes. No woes arc of fit waight, 
To make the honour of the Empire ftoopc : 
Though I, in my peculiar felfe, may meet 
Jnft reprehenfion, that fo fuddenly, 
And, in fo frefh a gricfe, would greet the Senate, 
V\ hen private tongues, of kinfmen, and allycs, 
( nfpird with comforts) lothly are endur'd, 
* lie face of men not fecne, and fcarce the day, 
*o thoufands, that communicate our loflc. 
Nor can I argue thefe of weaknefle ; fince 
^ey take but naturall wayes; yet I muft feeke 
£Or ftronger ayds, and thofe fairc helps draw out 
J-rom warme imbraces of the Common-wealth, 
uur mother, great Augusta, 'is ftruck with time, 
f; ur fcIf e ,m prcft with aged characters, 
^kusus is gone, his children young, and babes - 




Gg 2 


A formi #/ 

/H:«£ at) 



Our ayn^lu^ow ^^SS ^ 
Give timely fuccour to thefe prdent ills, 
TJ« noble i^e^G^Nic.^ 

NERcand DWM^j a ^ fld without0 

And raife rhofc funncs of py that (liQuld drink up 
Thefe flouds of forrovv, in your drowned eyes. 

Arr By I° VE > ' am not ° KDIPUS enoi, g»> 

To under/land this Sphynx. Sab. The Princes come. 

Tiberius, Nero, Drusus junior. 

Approach you noble Nero , noble Drusus. 
Thefe Princes, Fathers, when their parent dyed, 
I gave unto their uncle, with this prayer, 
Thar, though h' had proper ifliie of his owne, 
He would no leffc bring up, and foftcr thefe, 
Than that fclfc-bloud; and by that aft confirme 
Their worths to him, and to poftcritie : 
Drusus tane hence, I turne my prayers to you, 
And, 'fore our country, and our gods, befcech 
You take, and rule Augustus nephewes fonnts, 
Sprung of the noblcft anceftors • and fo 
Accomplifh both my dutie, and your owne. 
Nero, and Drusus, thefe dull be to you 
In place of parents, thefe your fatheti, thefe 5 
And not unfitly : For you arc fo borne, 
As all your good, or ill's the common-wealths. 
Receive them, you ftrong guardians; and bleft gods, 
Make all their actions anfwer to their blouds: 
Let their great titles find increafe by them, 
Not they by titles. Set them, as in place, 
So in example, above all the Romans: 
And may they know no rivals, but themfelves. 
Let Fortune give them nothing ; but attend 
Upon their venue: and that ftill come forth 
Greater than hope, and better than their fame. 
Rclccvc me, Fathers, with your gencrall voyce. 

Sen. May all the gods consent 'to Casars mjh, 
And adde to any honours, that may crowne 
The hopefull ijj ue f Germanicus. 
Tib. We thank you reverend Fathers, in their right. 
Arr. If this were true now ! but rhc fpace, the fpacc 
Between the brcft and lips Tiberius heart 

T * tb M Ught fardcr ' than anothcr mans - 

liB. My comforts are fo flowing in my joyes, 

As, m them, all my ftrcames of griefc arc loft, 

No IctTe than arc land-warers in the fca, 

^ lhowrcs in rivers; though their caufc was fuel), 




As might have fprinkled ev'n the gods with tcarcs : 

Yet ("nice the greater doth embrace the leftc, 

VVc covetoufly obey. (Arr. Well a&ed, Oksar.) 

Tib. And, no.v I am the happie wirnefle made 
Of your fo much defied affections, 
To this great ifliie, I could wifh, the fates 
Would hercfcr'peaccfull period to mydayes; 
How ever, to my labours, I intrcat 
( And beg it of this Senate) fome fit cafe. 

(Arr. Laugh, Fathers, laugh : Hi* you no fpleenes about you ? ) 

Tip.. The burden is tooheavie, I fuftain 
On my unwilling fhoulders ; and I pray 
It may be taken off, and rc-confer'd 
Upon the Confab, or fome other Roman, 
More able,andmorc worthy. (Arr. Laugh on, ftill.) 
Sap,. Why,thisdorh render all the reft uifpcclcd! 
Gal. It poyfons all. Arr. O, docyoutafteit then? 
Sar. It takes a.vay my faith to any thing 
He (ha 11 hereafter fpcak. Akr. I, to pray that, 
Which would be to his head as hot as thunder, 
( ' Gainft which he wcares that charme ) fhould but the Court 
Receive him at his word. Gal. Hearc. Tib. For my felfe, 
I know my weaknefle, and fo little covet 
(Like fome gone paft) the weight that will opprcflemec, 
As my ambition is the counter-point. 

(Arr. Finely maintain'd; good ftilf.) Sej. But ^om^whofebloud, 
Whofc nerves, whofelife,whofe very frame relycs 
On C.-esar's ftrength, nolcflethan heav'n on Atlas, 
Cannot admit it but with gencrall ruine. 

(Arr. Ah ! are you therc,to bring him off? ) Sej. Let Cesar 
No more then urge a point Co contrary 
To CitsARs greatnefle, the griev'd Senates vowes, 
Or Romes neccifiric. ( Gal. He comes about. 

Arr. More nimbly than VertumnUs.) Tib. For the publick, 
I may bee drawnc, ro fhew, I can neglect 
All privare aymes ; though I affecT: my reft: 
Bur, if rhc Senate ftill command me ferve, 

I muft be glad to practife my obedience. 

(Arr. You muft, and will, fir. Wcdoeknow it.) Sen. C&SAR, 

Lnc long, and happie, grea£, and royall C/ES AR ; 
The nods preferze thee, and thy modeflie, 

Thy wifedome, and thy innocence. (Arr. Where is't ? 
The praycr"s made lie fore the fubjeft.) Sen. Ouard 

II tf meehnejj e, Jo ve, hup'mie, his care, 

lUs bountic— Arr. And his fubtiltie, Tie put in: 

Yet hce'll kcepe that himfclfe, without the gods. 
AH prayers arc vaincforhim. Tib. Wc willnothold 
Your patience, Fathers, with long anfwer ; but 
onall frill conrend to be, what youdefirc, 
And work to farisfic fo great a hope : 

G g 3 Proceed 


A wrath 

Autbcr fwrwH. 


. ... r~~ A a r7 Now. Sinus, guard thee* 

Vrocccd to your aft...rcs. «5£«A. l-,^.. Silence. ' 

lh c c^jtowg ££. pmu Caius Sum. Su. , k , 
Aff. The triumph tlu " 

fortbv ^^VfXcS Straw, 
Thou ^™W d .d t &t would C*sIr, 

A$ S° """imir i St • «' w«t then defrauded 

•5 ejanus. 

r Thy anions, ana in«rcuu..« uv« ? -uwv« v 

It Hull appeare to Casar, and this 5w^, 
Thou baft dcfil'd thofc glories, with thy crimes 

Sil. Crimes? Afe. Patience, Sinus. Sil. Tell thy moileofpj. 
I'am a *•»«*. What are my crimes ? Proclaime them. 
Am I too rich ? too honcft for the times ? 
Have I or treafurc, jewels,' land, or houfes 
That fome informer gapes for? Is my ftrcneth 
Too much to be admitted ? Or my knowledge ? 
Thefe now are crimes. Afe. Nay, Sinus, if the name 
—Of crime fo touch thee, with what impotence 
Wilt thou endure the matter to be fcarch'd ? 

Sil. 1 rellthcc, AFER,with more fcorne, than fcare: 
Employ your mercenary tongue, and arte. 
Where's my accufer? Var. Here. Air. Varro ? The Confull 
Is hetfcruftin? Var. 'Tis I accufe thee, Sinus. 
Againft the Majeftic of Rome, and C/esar, 
I doe pronounce thee hereaguiitic caufc, 
Firft, of beginning, and occafioning, 
Next, drawing out the warre in Gallia, 
For which thou late triumph'ft 5 diiTcmbling long 
That Sacrovir to be an enemie, 
Only to make thy entertainment more, 
Whil'ft thou, and thy wife Sosia poll'd the Province; 
Wherein, with fordidc-bafc defire of gaine, 
Thou haft difcrcdited thy actions worth, 
And been a tray tor to the State. Sil. Thou lycft. 

Akr. 1 thank thcc,SiLius, fpeak fo ftill, and often. 

Var. If I not prove it, CJESAR, but injuftly 
Have caild him into tryall; here I bind 
My felfe to fuffcr,what I claime gainft him; 
And yccld, to have what I have fpokc, confirmed 
By judgement of the Court, and all good men. 
t-uV- C^sar, I crave to have mycaufe defend, 
No r ~* •• manS Con . fu,m JP bc out - TlB. Wc cannot, 

m V ,ay r vc & rant ir - Sil. Why ? (hall he defigne 

My day of tryall ? is he my accufcr ? 
/vnd " a right, that cuftomc hath allow'd 


The Magiftratc, to call forth private men ; 
And to appoint their day i Which privilcdge 
Wc may not iu the Conful fee infring'd, 
By whofc dcepc watches, and induftrious care 
Ir is Co labour d, as the Common-weal;h 
Receive no lone, by any oblique courfe. 

Sil. C/esar, thy fraud is worfc than violence. 

Tin. Sinus, miftake us nor, wc dare not ufc 
The credit of the Corfu/, to thy wrona. 
But only docprcferve his place, and power, 
So farrc as it conccrncs the dignitie 
And honour of the Stare. Ark. Belceve him, Silius 

Cor. Why, fo he may, Arruntius. Arr. Ifayfo'. 
And he may choofe too. Tib. By the CapitoU, 
And all our gods, but that the dcarc Republick, 
Our facred Lawcs, and juft authoritic 
Are intcrefs'd therein, I mould be illent. 

Afe. Plca(e'C.i.sAR to give way unto his triall. 
He mail have juftice. Sil. Nay, I ihall have law' 
ShalllnotAFER? fncak. Afe. Would you have more ? 

Sil. No, my wcll-fpokcn man, I would no more • 
Nor lefle : might I enjoy it natural!, ' 

Not taught to fpeak unro your prefenc ends, 
Free from thine, his, and all your unkind handW, 
Furious enforcing, moil unjuft prcfuming, 
Malicious, and manifold applying, 
Foulc wrefting, and impofiible conftruaion. 

A". He raves, he raves. Sil. Thou durft not tell me fo, 
Had It thou not Cesars warrant. I can fee 

Whofc power condemnes mee. Var. This betrayes his fpirir. 
lliis dorh enough declare him what he is. 

Sil. What am I ? fpeak. Var. An enemie to the State. 

oil. Bccaule I am an enemie to thee, 
And fuch cormptcd miniftcrs o' the State, 
That here art made a prcfent inftmment 
To grarifie it with thine owne difgrace. 

Sej. This, to the Cenfi^U moft infolent! 
And impious ! Sil. J, take part. Reveale your feives. 
Alas, I lente not your confed'racics ? 
Your plots, and combinations? I not know 
Mimon Sejanus hates me; and that all 
J Ins boaft of law, and law, is but a forme, 
A net of Vulcans filing, a meerc inginc, 
lo take that life by a pretext of juftice, 
V\ Inch you purfue in malice ? I want braine, 
Or noftrill to perfwade me, that your ends, 
And purpofes arc made to what they are, 

WW my <i 1 " fwer ? ° ' >' ou e ^ U Gods, 
vviofe not a world of wolfe-turnd men 

T U makc mc to accufe (how ere provoke;) 




Stood in the hc ^ r d J; t °for(bok the dav 
When PHOTO rooncr hi ^ - ^J 
Than 1 ihe hekl? Ajgft*e b» ^ 

And crifped f-^ vVirh heir labouring wings 

Have fann cl *jMS* not death tShincfit ? 

And no blow deaM 11 - . 4 , 

Sot off fitfa backward enfigncs or a lave , 

Bur & «" jrks > wounds on my . ' 8n P d / 
WofSm ro thee, 6 C as au, and thy *»«< » 


Performe fo noble, and (o brave deface, 
On S.ukovir ? (o Jove let it become mc 
To boaft my deeds, when he, whom they concernc, 
Shall thus forget them.) Afe. Silhis , Silius, 
Thefc are the common cuftomes of thy blood, 
When it is high with wine, as now with ra<_c ; 
This well agrees, with that intemperate vaunt, 
Thou lately mad ft at Agrippina's table, 
That when all other of the troopes were prone 
To fall into rebellion, only yours 
Rema'in'd in their obedience. You were he, 
That fav'd the Empire ; which had then becne loft, 
Had but your legions, there, rcbell'd, or mutin'a. 
Your veitue met, and fronted every pcrill. 
You gave to Cesar, and to Rome their furcty. 
Their name, their ftrcngtb, their fpirit, and their ftate, 
Their being was a donative from you. 
Arr. Well worded, and moft like an Oratour. 
Tib. Is this rrue,SiLius ? Sil. Save thy qucftion, C£sa*. 
Thy fpie, of famous credit, hath affirm' d it. 
Arr. Excellent Romanel SMi. He doth anfwer ftoutly. 
Sej. If this be fo, there needs no fardcr caufe 
Of crime againft him. Var. What can more impeach 
The royall dignitic, and State of CvEsAr, 
1 han to be urged with a benefit 
He cannot pay? Cot. In this, all C/tsARS fortune 
Is made uncquall to the courtcfic. 

Lat. His mcanes arc clcane deftroy'd, that fhould requite* 
Gal. Nothing is greatcnough forSn.iu's merit. 
Arr. Gallus on that fide to? S il. Come, doe not W*tt 
And labour fo about for circumftancc, 
To make him guiltie, whom you have forc-doom'd : 
Take (hotter waves, iTc meet your purpofes. 
The words were mine, and more I now will fay : 
Since I have done thee that great fcrvice, C^sa: 
Thou (till haft fcar'd — ~- ' : - -■ f 

•incc i nave done thee that great fcrvice, C^sar, 
Thou ftill haft fcar'd me; and, in pi ice of grace, 
Rciurn'd mc hatred : fo foonc, all bell turncs, 

Sej anus. 



With doubrfull Princes, turne deepe injuries 

In cftimation, when they greater rife, 

Than can be anfwcr'd. Benefits, with you, 

Arc of no longer plcalure, than you can 

With cafe reftore them ; that rranfeended once, 

Your fluJics arc nor how to thank, but kill. 

It is your nature, to have all men (lives 

To you, but you acknowledging to none. 

The meancs that makes your grcarneflc, muft not come 

In mention of it ; if it doe, it takes 

So much away, you think : and that, which help'd, 

Shall fooncft perifh, if it ftand in eye, 

Where it may fronr, or but upbraid the high. 

Cot. Suffer him fpeak no more. Var. Note but his fpirit. 

Afe. 1 his (hews him inthereft. Lat. Lethimbcccnfur'd. 

Sej. He'hath fpoke enough to prove him Cesar's foe. (Stay, 

Cot. Histhoughts look through his words. Sej. Acenfure. Sil. 
Stay, moft officious Senate, I (hill ftraight 

Delude thy furie. Silius hath not plac'd 

His guards within him, aj,ainft Fortunes fpighr, 

So weakly, but he can cfcape your gripe 

That are but hands of Fortune : Shee het felfe 

When Vcrtue doth oppofe, muft lofe her threats. 

All that can happen in humanirie, 

The frownc of C/Esar, proud Sj anus hatred, 

Bafe Varro's fplecnc, and Afers bloudying tongue. 

The Senates fcrvile flattery, and thefc 

Mu fired to kill, l'am fortified againft •, 

And can look downc upon: they are beneath mc. 

It is not life whereof I ftand cnamour'd : ' 

Nor fhall my end make mc accufc my fate. 

The coward, and the valiant man muft fall, 

Only the caufe, and manner how, difecrncs them : 

Which then are gladdeft, when they coft us deareft. 

Romans, if any here be in this Senate, 

Would know to mock Tiberius tyrannic, 
Look upon Silius, and fo lcarne to die. 

Var. O, defperate ad ! Arr. An honourable hand ! 

Tib. Look, is he dead ? Sab. 'Twas nobly ftrook, and home. 

Arr. My thought did prompt him to it. Farewell, Silius- 
Be famous ever for thy great example. 

Tib. We arc not nlcas'd, in this fad accident, 
That thus hath flailed, and abus'd our mercy, 
Intended to prefcrve thee, noble Romane : 
And to prevent thy hopes. Arr. Excellent wolfc! 
Now he is full, he howles. Sej. C^sar doth wrong 
His dignitie, and Dfetic, thus to mourne 
I he deferv'd end of fo profeft a trayror, 
And doth, by this his Ienitic, inftruft 
Others as factious, to the like offence, 



— — — - ^ >r -.■^^"'n-iprriv of his State 
Tib. The confifcation iwcr ^or $ 

Hadbeene enough. Mj- ^ Lc6 c5iion 
V mi. Remove the body- J ha bc fcriiycU 

Gc .ut for Sosia. Gal. u .y fe 

And far Ae goods, I b«nk ^ ^^ 

G ? c to the w£^3 c s s , R , I would think, that fourth 

t> ^^ Vh' c v doth caft on the Informers, 

V , he SEe (hall (hew bumaniric, 
A,, h untie, not to force them by their want 
f Which in their parents trefpaffc they defer, ■ d) 

To rake ill courfes. Tin. It (hall pleafc us. Akr, 

Out of ncccftitic. This Lepidus 

Is grave and hone ft, and I have obfervd 

A moderation ftill in all his cenfurcs. 

Sab. And bending to the better— -Stay, whos this? 
Ck* vumus Cordus ? what ? is he brought m? 

Aril More blood unto the banquet? Noble Cordus, 
1 wi(h thee good : Be as thy writings, free, 
And honcft. 'Tis. What is bc? Sej. Forth Annals, C^sar. 


Praco, Cordus, Satrius, Natta. 

C^Remutius Cordus. Cor. Here. PR/E. Satrius Secukduj. 
''Pinnarius Natta, you arc his accufcrs. 
Ark . Two of Sej anus blood-hounds, whom he breeds 
With humane flcfa, ro bay at citizens. 

Afe. Stand forth before the Senate, and confront him. 
Sat. I docaccufcthcc here, Cremutius Cordus, 

To bc a man factious, and dangerous, 

A fower of fedition in the State, 

A turbulent, and difconrentcd fpirit, 

Which I will prove from thine ownc writings, here, 

The Annals thou haft publifli'd ; where thou bit'ft 

The prefent a°;c, and with a vipers tooth, 

Being a member of it, dar'ft that ill 

Which never yet degencrous baftard did 

Upon his parent. Nat. To this, I fubferibe; 

Ar.d y forth a world of more particulars, 

Inftance in only one : Comparing men, 

And times, thou prayfeft Brutus, and affirm' (I 
That Cassius was the laft of all the Romans. l-^ 

Cot. How ! what arc we then? Var. What is Caesar? not"* 
Afe. My lords, this ftrikes at every Romans private, 

In whom raigncs genrric, and eftarc of fpirir, 

To have a Brutus brought in parallel], 

A pirricidc, an enemy of his counrrcy, 

i'mWd, and preferr'd to any rcall worth 

That Rome now holds. This is mod ftrangely inventive, 

Moft full of fpighr, and infolcut upbraiding, S<* 

Sej anus* 

Nor is't the time alone is here difpris'd, 

But the whole man of time, yea Cesar's fclfe 

Brought in difvalcw; and he aym'd at moft 

By oblique glance of his licentious pen. 

Casar, if Cassius were the laft of Romans. 

Thou haft no name. Tib. Let's heare him anfwer. Silence. 

Cor. So innocent I am of fad, my lords. 
As but my words arc argu'd; yct thofe words 
Not reaching cyrhcr Prince, or Princes parent i 
The which your law of trcafon comprehends. 

Whofc deeds, when many more, befides my fclfe 
Have writ, not one hath mention'd without honour. 
Great Titus Livius, great for eloquence, 
And faith, amongftus, in his Hiftoric, 
With fo great prayfes Pompey didexrol!, 
As ofr Augustus call'd him a Pompeian • 
Yet this not hurt their friendlrap. In his booke 

He ofren names Sgipio,Afranius, 
Yea, the fame Cassius, and this Brutus too ' 
As worthift men; not thceves, and parricides, 
Which notes, upon their fames, are now impos'd. 
Asi.vius Pollio's writings quite throughout 
Owe them a noble memory; So Messalla 
Renown d his gencrall Cassius: yct both thefe 
Livd with Augustus, full of wealth, and honours. 

i° , t ,CE . R ,° t s book > where Cato was hcav'dup 

Equal! with heav'n, what elfe did C*sar anfwer 

Being then DtBator, but with a pennd oration, 

As it before the Judges ? Doc but fee 

Antoniu's letters; read but Brutus pleadings : 

What vile reproach they hold againft Augustus, 

Folic I confefle, but with much bitternefTe. 

The ^iMMi of Bib aculus, and Catullus, 

Are read foil ftufc with fpight of both the cisARS; 

Yet deified Julius, and no lefte Augustus ! 

£oth bore them, and contcmn'd them : ( I not know 

Promptly to u>ak it, whether done with more 

lempcr , or wifedome) for fuch obloquies 

If they defpifed be, they dyefuppreft; 

But a ffnf V^ whofc iiccnce ™» alone, 
But alfo luft did fcapc unpunished : 

He Tvor l/ 0m K ° nC ( , by Chincc } cXcc P tJ °n took, 

wVat couiTh word i revcn C d - Bur ' ,n ra y »°*J 

From t \Z i P m A m ? re frce > or fi«der off 

Whom d Tf Cand3,J than t0 "*» of thofe > 

Did I w i S R gnc ^ ° r i*** bad exem^cd? 

^'d I with Brutus, and with Cassius 

Atmd,andpo^fs'dofch C P„^ P rficld S , 



Ret that g^gfti, honour. . . 

8£gS SS S£ 'hougji I condemned am, 
^twnnoronlyCAss^swe approve, 
A d of great Bbutu's honour mindjuli be, 

Rur due mid a ,fo i mcntl0n ,. make of me - 
Arr. Freely, and nobly fpoken. Sab. With good 

I like him, that he is not mov'd with paflion. 

^ RR# n c p Uls >hcin to their whifper. Tib. Take him hence, 
We mall determine of him at next fitting. 

Cot. Meane time, give order, that his books be burnr, 
To the v£diles. Sej. You have well advis'd. 

Apr. It fits not fuch licentious things (hould live 
T upbraid the age. Arr. If th'agc were good, they might. 

Lat. Let 'hem be burnt. Gal. All fought, and burnr,to day. 

Pr.i . The Court is up ♦, Li8ors y refume the Fafces. 

Arruntius, S a bin us, Lepidus. 

Er 'hem be burnt ! 6, how ridiculous 
Appeares the Senate's brainleflc diligence, 
Who think they can, with prefent power, cxtinguifh 
The memory of all fuccceding times ! 

Sab. 'Tis true when (contraric ) the punifhment 
Of wit, doth make th' authoritie increafe. 
Nor doc they ought, that ufc this crueltic 
Of interdiction, and this rage of burning; 
But purchafc to themfclves rebuke, and fhamc, 
And to the sinters an cternall name. 

Lep. It is an argument the Times are fore, 
When vertuc cannot fafely be advane'd ; 
Nor vice rcproov'd. Arr. I, noble Lepidus, 
Augustus well forefaw, what we (hould fuffcr, 
Under Tiberius, when he did pronounce 
The Roman race mod wretched, that fliould live 
Between fo flow jawes, and fo long a bruifing. 


Tiberius, S e j anus. 

■"T His bufincflc hath Succeeded well, Sej anus : 
( * And quite rcmov'd all jcaloufie of practice 
Gainft Af,Ripi>i NA> an d our nephewes. Now, 
Wc muft bethink us how to plant our ingincs 

A4 h ' fXbcr pairc ' S A B l Nus > and Arrunt IUS, 
And Gallup too (how e're he flatter us,) 

His heart we know.- S. j. Give it fomc refpire, C*sAR 
Ume null mature, and bring ro perfeft crowne, 
What we, with fo good vultures, have begunne : 

Sej anus. 



Sarinds null be next. Tib. Rather Arruntius. 

Sr.j. Byanymcanes, prefcrve him. His frank tongue 
Being lent the reincs, will take away all thought 
Of malice, in your courfc againft the reft. 
Wc muft keepe him ro ftalk with. Tib. Dcarcft head, 
To thy mod fortunate defigne I ycild it. 

Sej. Sir 1'luve beene. fo long train'd up in grace, 

Firft with your father, great Augustus, fince 

With your'moft happy bounties fo familiar, 

As I not fooncr would commit my hopes 

Or willies to the gods, than to your cares. 

Nor have I ever, yer, beene covetous 

Of over-bright and dazling honours : rather 

To watch, and rravaile in great Casar's fafcty, 

With the moft common fouldicr. Tib. Tis confeft. 

Snj. The only gaine, and which I count moft faire' 
Of all my fortunes, is, that mightie Cesar 
Hath thought me worthy his alliance. Hence 
Beginne my hopes. Tib. Hmh?S E j. I have heard, Augustus 
In the beftowing of his daughter, thought 
But even of gentlemen of. Rome: If fo, 
(I know not ho.v to horc Co great a favout ) 
But if a husband fhould be fought for Li via 
And I be had in minde, as Cesar's friend, 
I would but ufc the glory of the kindred. 
It mould not make me flothfull, or leflc caring 
For C/Esar's State; it were enough, to me 
It aid confirme, and ftrcngthen my wcakc houfe 
Againft thc-now-uncquall opposition 
Of Agrippina ; and for deare rcguard 
Unto my children, this I wifti : my fclfe 
Have no ambition farder, than to end 
My dayes in fervicc of fo deare a maftcr. 

Tib. Wc cannot but commend thy piety 
Moft-Iov'd Sejanus, in acknowledging 
Thofc bounties; which we, faintly, fuch remember; 
But to thy fuit. The reft of mortall men, 
In all their drifts, and counfells, purfue profit: 
Princes, alone, arc of a different fort, 
Oiretfing their mainc actions ftill to fame. 
v\e therefore will take time to think, and anfwer. 
for Livia, (hec can beft, her fclfe, rcfolve 
" "lee will marrie," after Drusus, or 
J-ontinuc in the family; befides 
jnce hath a mother, and a grandamc yer, 

Bn T M C r rCf , C0U . nfeIs ^ ""? & uidc her b V : 

£u :I will Amply deale. That enmitic, 

*nou fear ft m Agri PPinAj would burne more 

rw. VI V'- marri ^ c Olou,d Cas 'twere in parts)' 
**vidc th imperiall houfc; an emulation ? ' 


hilt ddugltit 
tv3i bct*o;kd 
19 Claudia, ' 


H h 





Between ri^STSgjTt bteake forth : and difcord 

Kc (onus, and nephewes, terete ? 

What if it caufe fome prclcnc difference ? 

Thou a, not 6fe, Sejanus,! *™ P™ *• 

Canft thou bclcevc,that Livuv nrftthe wife 

ToCAiusC^sAR,thenmyD,usus now 

Will be contented to grow old with thee, 

Borne but a private gent eman of Rnei 

And rayfe thee with her loflc, it not her fhamc? 

Or fay, that I mould wifli it, canft thou think 

The Senate, or the people ( who liavc fecne 

Her brother, father, and our anceftow, 

In higheft place of Empire ) will indurc it? 

The State thou holdft already, is in talke; 

Men murmure at thy greatneite } and the nobles 

Stick not, in publick, to upbraid thy climbing 

Above our fathers favouts, or thy feale : 

And dare accufc me, from their hate to thee. 

Be wife,dcare friend. We would not hide thefe things 

Tor friendfhips dcare refpeft. Nor will we ftand 

Advcrfc to thine, or Livia's deftgncments. 

What we had purpos'd to thee, in our thought, 

And with what necrc degrees of love to bind thee, 

And make thee cquall to us; for the prefenr, 

\Vc will forbcarc to fpcak. Only, thus much 
Beleeve, our lov'd Sejanus, we not know 
That height in blood, or honour, which thy vertuc, 
And mind to us, may not afpirc with merit. 
And this wee'le publifh, on all watcht occafion 
The Senate, or tnc people fhall prefent. 

Sej. I am rcftor'd, acd to my tente a^aine, 
Which I had loft in this fo blinding fuit. 
CtsAR. hath taught me better to refute, 
Than I knew how to aske. How plcafeth Cjcsar 
T imbrace my late advice, for leaving Romei 

Tib. We arerefolv'd. Ss-j. Here are Tome motives more 
Which I have thought on fince, may more confitme. 

Tib. Carefull Sejanus ! we will ftraight pcrufe them: 
Goe forward in our mainc defignc, and prof per. 


I w h0 un. but take > l {ha11 ; du,1 > ,lcav Y c *sar \ 
vyouldit thou tell me, thy favours were made crimes? 

££d that my fortunes were efteem'd thy faults ? 
iftat thou, f or mc> wcrt lured > afid mt chink 

I would with winged haftc prevent that change, 
JA hen thou migjuft whine all to thy felfe againe, 
Bv forfeiture of me ? Did thofe fond words* 
Flye fwifter from thy lips, than this my braine, 
1 bis fparklmg forge, created inc an armor 



I'dicounrcr chance, and thee? Well, rcadc my charmes, 

And may they lay that hold upon thy fenfes, 

/\s rhou had'ft f.uft up hemlock, or tane downe 

The juyce of poppic and of mandrakes. Slcepe, 

Voluptuous C/i sar, and fecuritic 

SviK on thy flupide powers, and leave them dead 

To publick cares ; awake but to thy lufts, 

The ftrengrh of which makes thy libidinous foule 

Irch to leave Rome h and I have thruft it on : • 

With blameing oftheCitie bufineffc, 

The multitude of fuits, the confluence 

Of fuitors, then their importunacies, 

The manifold diftra«Stions he muft fuffcr, 

Befidcs ill rumours/envics , and reproaches,' 

All which, a quiet and retired life, 

(Larded wirh cafe, and plcafure) did avoid; 

And ycr, for any vfti-b^i'i^ great affaire,' 

The firteft place to give the foundeft counfcls. 

By this, (hall I remove him both from thought, 

And knowledge of his ownc moft deare affaires; 

Draw all difpatches through my private hands; ■ 

Know his dcfigncnients, : and purfue mine ownc ; 

Make mine ownc ftrcngths , by giving fuits, and places; 

Conferring dignities, and offices: 

And thefe, that hate me now, wanting acccfle 

To hiif, win make their envre none, or leflej 

For when they tec mec arbiter of all, 

Tbcy muft obterve: or elfc, with Casar fall, 

Ttder ius, Servus. 

O marry Livia? will no Iefle, Sejanus, 
C onrenr thy aymes? no lower object? well! 

Thou know" ft how thou art wrought into our truft; 

Woven in our defignc ; and think'ft, we muft 

Now ute thee, whatfocre thy projects arc: 
I» true. But yet with caution, and fit care. 

And, now we better think who's there, within? 

y, . \ Caesar? Tib. To leave our journey off, were fihne' 

Gainft our decreed delights ; and would appeare 

Doubr : or ( what lclTe becomes a Prince ) low feare, 

Yet doubt hath law, and feares have their excufe, 

Where Princes States plead neCelTary ufe ; 

As ours doth now : more in Snj anus pride, 

J ban in all Agrippina's hates befide. 

ihofc are the dreadfull enemies, we raite 

With favours,and make dangerous, with ptaifc : 

I e -injur d by us .nay have will alike, 

A i r S favour "e hath the power, to ftrike: 
£™ lury ever boyles more high, and AW, 
«cat with ambition, than revenge of wrong. 

H h 3 





• Hs then a pa&tf fuprcmc- skill, to grace 
No man too much , but hold a certain face 
Between th-ufcenders rife, and rim* owne Hat 
Left, when all rounds be reaclul h.s ymc be that* 
ris choueht -Is Macro in the Palace? See: 

Muft be the organ, we muft work by ^now ; 
Though nonekii: *PC for truft : Need doth allow 
What choifc would not. I have heard, that *»*"' 
Being timely taken, hath a healing might _ 

Againft the fcorpions ftrokc ; the proof e wee 11 give:. 
That, while two poifons wraftle, we may live. 
Hcc hath a fpirittoo working, to be us'd 

But to th'cncountcr of his like ; excus'd 

Arewifer fov'raigncs then, that wife one ill 

Againft another, and both fafcly kill : 

The Prince that feeds great naturcs,thcy will fway him ; 

Who nourifheth a lyon, muft obey him. 

Tiberius, Macro. 

A A Acro , we fent for you. Mac. 1 heard fo, C/esar.' 
-*■*-*• Tib. (Leave us awhile! ) when you (hall know, good Macro, 
The caufes of your fending , and the ends 5 
You then will harken nearer : and be plcas'd 
You ftand fo high, both in our choile, and truft. 

Mac. The humbleft place in Casars choile or truft 
May make glad Macro proud ; without Ambition, 
Save to doc Cesar iervice. Tib. Leave your courting. 
We arc in purpofe, Macro, to depart 
The Citie for a rime, and fee Campania ; 
Not for our plea lures, but to dedicate 
A pairc of Temples, one to Jupiter 
At Capua 5 Th'other at Nola, to Augustus : 
In which great work, perhaps, our ftay will be 
Beyond our will produc't. Now, fince we arc 
Not ignorant what danger may be borne 
Out of our fhorteft abfence, in a State 
So fubjea unto envie, and embroild 
With hate, and fa&ion • we have thought on thee, 
(Amongft a field of Romans,) worth ieft Macro, 
To be our eye, and earc ; to keep ftrict watch 
On A o Rl p p 1 N a, N f. r o, D r u s u s 5 I, 
And on Sejanus : Not, that we diftruft 
His oyaltic, or doc repent one grace, 
Ut all that heap, wee have conferd on him: 

a i „ t wcrc t0 dif P ar age our election, 

And call that judgement now in doubt, which then 

■Sccmd as unqueftion'd as an oracle,) 

irncflc hath his cankers. Wormcs, and moatlis 
B«cd out Of too much humour, in the things y]\ 


VV'hich after they confurac, transferring quire 
The fubftance of their makers, int'thcmfelvcs. • 
Macro is' fharp, and apprehends: betides, 
I know him fubtill, clofe, wife, and well-read 
In man, and his large nature: He hath ftudied 
Affcdions paflions, knowes their fprings, their ends, 
Which way, and whether they will work : 'tis proofc 
Enough, of his great merit, that we truft him. 
Then, to a point 5 (becaufc our conference 
Cannot be long without fufpition )' 
Here, Macro, we afligne thee, both to fpie, 
Informc, and chaftife ; Think, and ufc thy meancs, 
Thy miniftcrs, what, where, on whom thou wilt j 
Explore, plot, practifc : All thou doll in this, 
Shall be, as if the Senate, or the Lawes 
Had giv'n it priviledge, and thou thence ftil'd 
The Saviour both of C^sar, and of Rome. 
We will not take thy anfwer, but in aft: 
Whereto, as thou proceed'ft, we hope to hcare 
By truftcd mcflengers. If t be enquir'd, 
Wherefore we call'd you, fay, you have in charge 
To fee our chariots readie, and our horfc. 
Be itill our lov'd, and (fhortly) honour'd Macro. 


T Will not aske, why G;esar bids doe this: 
But joy, that hee bids mee. It is the bliflc 
Of Courts, to be imploy'd ; no matter, how 5 
A Princes power makes all his actions vcrtue. 
We, whom he works by, arc dumbc inftruments, 
To doe, but not enquire: His great inrents 
Arc ro be fcrv'd, not fcarch'd. Yet, as that bowc 
Is moft in hand, whofe owner beft doth know 
T affect his aymes; fo let that States-man hope 
Moft ufc, raoft price , can hit his Princes fcope. 
Nor muft he looke at what, or whom to ftrike, 
But lofe at all ; each markc muft be alike. 
Were it to plot againft the fame, the life 
Of one, with whom I twin'd; remove a wife 
From my warme fide, as lov'd, as is the ayrc s 
Practifc away each parent; draw mine heyre 
In compaflc, though but one ; work all my kin 
To fwift perdition ; leave no untrain d cngin, 
tor friendship, or for innocence ; nay, make 
ihc gods all guiltie : I would undertake 
* his, being impos'd me, both with gain, and cafe, 
'he way to rife, is to obey, and pleafc. 
He that will thrive in State, he muft neglect 
ine trodden paths, that truth and right refpect- 
And prove new, wilder waves : for vertue, there,' 

Hh 5 


4 ' 







Mens fonunc there i ^aw ■ ^ ^ 
Their licence, U»j" d ft ^ ^ ftainc; 

Profic, their lu .™-, u f ot c*sARS power, 

Ifthen the . '«« °^ and j,, £ i )owrc 

Thave iwd Sh «^ doiW] from hcight of a |l- 

« "iT™ , rift It " no uncouth thing 
SftM bui dings from old mines Ppri 

C H ORU S Of Muficim. 

A<a IV. 

Gauus,Agmppina, Nero, Drusus, 


YOu mu ft have patience, royall Agrippina. 
Agr. I muft have vengeance, firft : and that were NO* 
Unto my famiftid fpirits. O, my fortune, 
Let it be fudden thou prepar'ft againft mec ; 
Strike all my powers of underftanding blind, 
And ignorant of deftinie to come : . ^ 

Let mle not feare, that cannot hope. Gal. Deare PrinccDe, 
Thefe tyrannies, on your fclfc, arc worfe than CasAr s* 

Agr. Is this the happincflc of being borne great? 
Still ro bee aym'd at? £1*11 to be fufpeaed ? 
To live the fubjeel of all jealoufies ? 
At leaft the colour made, if not the ground 
To every painred danger ? who would not 
Choofc once to fall, than thus to hang for ever ? 

G a l . You might be fafe, if you would— Ag r. Wbar, my w 
Be lewd Sejanus ftrumpct ? Or the baud 
To C>esars lufts, hee now is gone to practifc? 
Not thefe arc fafe, where nothing is. Your fclfe, 
While thus you ftand but by me, arc not fafe. 

Was Sinus fafe ? or the good Sosia fafe ? 

Or was my niece, deaic Claudia Pulchra fafe? 

Or innocent Furnius ? They, that latcft have 

(By being made guiltic) added reputation 

To Afers eloquence? O, foolifh friends, 

Could not fo frefh example warne your loves, 

But you muft buy my favours, with that loflc t 

Unto your fclves : and, when you might perceive 

That Casar's caufc of raging muft forfakehim, 

Before his will? Away, good Gallus, leave mcc. 

Here to be fcenc, is danger; to fueak, treafon: 

To doc mc leaft obfervance, ii cau" d faction. 



You arc unhappic in mcc, and I in all. 

Where arc my fonncs ? Nero ? and Drusus i Wc 

Arc they be (hot at; Let us fall apart: 

Nor, in our mines, fcpulchrc our friends. 

Or (hull wc doc fomc action, like offence, 

To mock their ftudies, that would make us faultic? 

/\nd fruftrarc practice, by preventing ic? 

The danger's like : For, what they can contrive, 

They will make good. No innocence is fafe, 

When power conrefts. Nor can they trefpaue more, 

Whofe only being was all crime, before. 
Ner. You hcarc, Sejanus is come back from C/Esar? 
Gal. No. How? Difgrac'd ? Dru. More grae'd now than 
Gal. By what mifebance ? Cal. A fortune, like enough 

Once to be bad. Dru. But turn'd too good, to both. ° 
Gal. What was'c ? Nek. Tiberius fitting at his mcar. 

In a farmc-houfe, they call Spelunca, fitcd 

By the lea-fide, among the Fundane hills, 

Within a natural! cave, part of the grot 

( About the entry) fell, and over-whelm d 

Some of the waytcrs 5 Ochers ran away : 

Only Sejanus, with his knees, hands, face, 

Ore-hanging Casar, did oppofe himfelfc 

To the remaining mines, and was found 

In that fo labouring pofture, by the fouldiers 
That came to fuccour him. With which adventure 
He hath fo fixt himfelfe in Cesar's trull, 
As thunder cannot move him, and is come 
With all the hcight of Casars praife, to Rome. 

AcR - And power, to turne thofe mines all on us-; 
And bury whole pofterities beneath them. 
Nero, and Drusus, and Caligula, 
Your places are the next, and therefore mod 
In their offence. Think on your birth, and bloud, 
Awake your fpirits, meet their violence, 

Tis princely, when a tyrant doth oppofe 5 

And is a fortune fent to cxercife 

^°, ur venue, as the wind doth trie ftrong trees: 

Who by vexation grow more found, and firme. 

After your fathers fall, and uncles fate, 

What can you hope, but all the change of ftroke 

JAat force, or flight can give ? then ftand upright; 

And though you doc not act, yet fuffcr nobly 7 

£ rch y° f ™y wombe, and take ftrong chcare ; 

What we doc know will come, wc (hould not fcarc. 




C RO. 

j^Eturnd fo foonc? renew'd in truft, and grace? 
B.,r C * t SAR L . thcn f o weak ? or hath the place 
But wrought this alteration, with the aire; P 


Ami be, o» n«t ----- , 'Ivlu'r bc(6re 
Mawo, thou art *■ iv morc . 

The «Talc of CM**fc3£ DCCe n; ty 

But thine OiBeW/^, thoughts botnc nenitft 

On thy <7 ^"^'foit-ccft ftUlTand dcareft. 
Unto our fclvcs, mow. > 

VVnSc on 'hcc P , and cnifl. thec. Therefore, ftrike 
Before he fettle, to prevent the hke 

Upon thy fclfe. He doth Ins vantage know, 
Thar makes it home, and gives the forcmoft blow. 

L A T I A R I S, R U F U S, O P S I U S. 

iT is a fervice, great SejANus will 
See well requited, and accept of nobly. 
Here place your felves, between the roofe, and feiling, 
And when I bring him to his words of danger, 
Rcveale your fclvcs, and take him. Rup. Is he come? 

Lat. Tie now goe fetch him. Ops. With good fpecd. I long 
To merit from the State in fuch an action. 

Ruf. I hope, it will obtayne rhe Co*/«/-{hip 
For one of us. Ops. Wc cannot think of leffe, 
To bring in or.e, fo dangerous as Sabinus. 

Ruf. He was a follower of Germanicus, 
And ftill is an obfervcr of his wife, 
And children, though they be dcclin'd in grace ; 
A daily vifiranr, keeps them company 
In private, and in publick ; and is noted 
To be the only client, of the houfc : 
Pray Jove, he will be free to Latiaris. 

Ops. H'is ally'd to him, and doth rrufl: him well. 
Ruf. And hee'll requite histruft? Ops. To doe an office 
So gratcfull to the State, I know no man 
But would ftraine ncerer bands, than kindred— Ruf. Lilt, 
1 hcare them come. Ops. Shift to our holes, with filcncc 

Latiaris, Sabinus. 


JT is a noble conftancic you (hew 

To this afflicted houfc :that not like others, 
( The friends of feafon ) you doc follow fortune, 
And in the winter of their fate, forfakc 
The place, whofe glories warm'd you. You arc juft> 
And worthy fuch a princely patroncs love, 

As was the worlds rcnovvn'd Germanicus : 

vVhofc ample merit when I call to thought, 

And fee his wife, and iflue, objects made 

To fo much envy, jcaloufie, and hate ; 

^ makes me readic to accufc the gods 



Of negligence, as men of. tyrannic. 

Sab. They muft be patient, fo muft wc. Lai. O fovr 
What will become of us, or of the times, 
When, to be high, or noble, arc made crimes ? 
When land, and rreafure are mod dangerous faults? 

Sab. Nay, when our tabic, yea Our bed affaults 
Our peace and fafcty ? when our writings arc, 

By any envious mftruments (that dare 

Apply them to the guilty) made to fpeak 

VYfut they will have, to fit their tyrannous wreak ? 

When ignorance is fcitcely innocence : 

And knowledge made a capiiall offence? 

When not fo much, but the bare .empty fhadc 

Of 1 berry, Is reft us ? and wc made, 

The prey to greedy vultures, and vile fpies, 

That firft, transfix us with their murdering eyes ? 
Lat Me thinks, the Genius of the Romane race 

Should not be fo extinct, but that bright flame 

Of liberty might be reviv'd againe, 

(Which no good man but with his life, fhould lofe) 

And we not fit like fpent, and patient foolcs, 
Still pulling in the dark, at one poore coalc, 

Held on by hope, till the laft fpark is out. 

1 lie caufe is publique, and riic honour, name, 

inc immortahty of every foulc 

That is not balhrd, or a flavc in Rome, 

Therein concernd: whereto, if men would change 

I he wearnl armc, and for the waighty (hicld 

5o long fulhynd, employ the ready ftrord, 

Wc might have loonc afiurance of our vowes. 

Hits Aflcs fortitude doth tyre us all. 

It muft be active valour muft redeem 

Our lone, or none The rock, and our hard ftec/c , 

Should meet, t enforce thofc glorious fires againe, 

\. hole fplendor cheer d the world, and heat gave life 

No efle than doth the Sunnes. Sab. Twere better ftay 

In laftmg darknefle, and defpairc of day 

No ill fhould force the fubjed undertake 

Agamft the fovcraigne, morc than hell ftould make 

1 he gods doc wrong. A good man fhould, and muft 

Sit rather down with lofleftban rife uniuft. 

ihough, when the Romans firft did yceld themfelves 

io one mans power, they did not mcanc their lives, 

^fortunes, and their liberties, fhould be ' 

His.abfolure fpoyle, as purchased by the fivord. 

o v^BSA&s flavc, be fuch, the proud Snjkkas ! 
To A ? A \ t1 ° CS a11 ' S ivcs C«X* leave 

wim hi, h ," ccrous > ami an °y™ d ** ■ 

W ith his bald cto.vnc at Rhodes, while he here iblk* 




r > etc Tiberius went, he wrought his feare 

To think that Ackippina (ought his deatta 

Then put thofc doubts in hers lent her ott word, 

Under the fliow of fricndOup, to beware 

Of C ASAR, for he bid to poyfon her : 

Drive them to frownes, to mutuall jcaloufics, 

Which, now, in vifiHfc hatred are burft our. 

Since, lie hath had his hired inftruments 

To work on Nero; and to heave him up 5 

To tell him Casar 's old; that all the people, 

Yea, all the Army have their eyes on him; 

That both doc long to have him undertake 

Something of worth, to give the world a hope 5 

Bids him to court their grace: The cafie youth, 

Perhaps, gives eare, which ftrait he writes to CtsAK j 

And with this commenc; Sec yond dangerous boy; 

Note but the practice of the mother, there ; 

Slice's tying hifflj for purpofes at hand, 

With men of fword. Here's Cesar put in fright 

'Gabft ionnc, and mother. Yet, he leaves not thus. 

The fecond brother, Dausus, (a fierce nature, 

And fitter for his fnarcs, becaufc ambitious, 

And full oi envic) him he clasp's, and hugs, 

Poyfons with praifc, tells him what hearts he wcares. 

How bright he ftands in popular cxpc&ancc; 

That Rome doth fuffer with him, in the wrong 

His mother docs him, by preferring Nero : 

Thus fcts he them afundcr, each 'gainft other, 

ProjcSs the courfe, that ferves him to condemns, 

Keepes in opinion of a friend to all, 

And all drives on to ru inc. Lat. Olsar flccps, 

And nods at this ? Sab. Would he might ever ftecpe. 

Boggd in his filthy lufts. Ops. Trcafon to C/esar. 

Ruf. Lay hands upon the traytor, Latiaris, 
Or take the name thy fclfe. Lai . I am for Ca.sar. 

S Am I then catcht ? Kui-. How think you, l"" 

Sab • Spies of this head l fo white / to full of yeercs I 
Well, my mod reverend monftcrs, you may live 
To fee your fclves thus frnr'd. 0:<s. Away with him. 

Lat. Hale him away. Rur. To be a fpy for trayiors, 
« honourable vigilance. S .You doc well, 

> you tf* 1 


My moft officious inflrumcnts of State; 

Men of all ufes: Drag me hence, away. 

The yecrc is well begun, and I fall fir, 

To be an offring to Sejanus. Goe. 

Ops. Cover him with his garments, hide his face- 
Sab. It fhall not need. Forbcare your rude aflaulr, 

The fault's not fhamefull; villanic makes a fault. 

Macro, Caligula. 

C Ir, but obferve how thick your dangers meet 

,n his cleare drifts i Your mother, and your brothers, 
Now cited to the Senate I Their friend, Gallus, 
Fcaftcd to day by Cesar, fincc committed ! 
Sabinus, here we met, hurryed to fetters 1 
The Senators all ftrook with feare, and filence, 
Save thofc, whofe hopes depend not on good'meanes, 
But force their private prey, from publick fpoyle 1 
And you muft know, if here you ftay, your State 
Is furc to be the fubjeft of his hate, 
As now the object. Cal. What would you advife me? 

Mac. To goe for Caprea prefently : and there 
Give up your felfc, entirely, to your uncle.' 
Tell C/esar (fincc your mother is accuse! 
To flie for fuccours to Augustus ftatue, 
And to the atmie, with your brethren ) you 
Have rather chofc, to place your aides in him, 
Than Jive fufpcclcd; or inhourely feare 
To be thru ft our, by bold Sejanu's plots: 
Which, you fhall confidently urge, to be 
Mod full of perill to the State, and Cesar, 
As being laid to his peculiar endsy 
And not to be let run, with common lafetic. 
Ml which (upon the fecond) I'le make plaine, 
So both flull love and cruft with Cesar gaine. 
Cal. Away then, let's prepare us for our journey. 

A RRU NT ius. 

CTill, doft thou fuffer hcav'n? will no flame, 
w No heate of finnc, make thy juft wrath to boile 
In thy diftemp'red bofomc, and o're flow 
The pitchy blazes of impiety, 
Kindled beneath thy throne? Still canft thou flcepe. 
Patient, while vice doth make an antique face 
At thy dread power, and blow dull, and fmoke 
Into thy noftrils? Jovk, will nothiig wake thee? 
Muft vile Sejanus pull thee by the beard, 
Ere thou wilt open thy black-lidded eye, 

And let this laft of that proud Giant-race, b & 
1 leave mountaine upon mountainc,'gainft your Stare— 





T\V hour our boaft) arc amoft all the few 
Lcfr! to be honcft, in thefc impious times. 

Lepidus, Arruntius. 

Hat we arc left to be, we will be, Lucius, 
Though Tyrannic did ftare, as wide as death. 
To fright us from it. Akr. 'Thath fo,on Sabinus. 

Lep* I faw him now drawnc from the Gemontes, 
And (what incrcas'd the dircnefle of the fad) 
His faithfull doggc (upbraiding all us Romans ) 
Never foifook the corps, but, feeing it thrownc 
Into the ftrcamc, leap'd in, and drownd with it. 

Arr. O aft 1 to be envi'd him, of us men ! 
We are the next, the hook layes hold on, Marcus : 
What are thy Artes (good patriot, teach them me) 
That have preferv'd thy haircs, to this white die, 
And kept fo reverend, and fo dcare a head, 
Safe, on his comely (boulders? Lep. Arts, Arruntms .? 
None, but the plainc, and pa (five fortitude, 
To fuffer, and be filent ; never flrctch 
Thefe armes, againft the torrent; live at home, 
With my owne thoughts, and innocence about me, 
Not tempting the wolves jawes: thefc are my Arts. 

Arr. I would beginnc to ftuJic 'hem, if I thought 
They would fecure mce. May I pray to Jove, 
In fecret, and be fafe ? 1,-or aloud ? 
With open wiibcs ? fo 1 doe not mention 
Tiberius, or Srjanus? yes I muft, 
If I fpeak out. 'Tis haul, that. May I think, 
And not be rackt? What danger is't to dreame ? 
Talk in ones deep ? or cough ? who knowes the law ? 
May I (bake my head, without a comment? fay 
It raines, or it holds up, and not be throwne 
Upon the Gcmonits I Thefe now are things, 
Whereon mens fortune, yea their fare depends. 
Nothing hath nrivilcdgc 'gainft the violenr care. 
No place, no day, no houre ( wee fee ) is free 
( Not our religious, and molt facred times ) 
Prom fomc one kinde of crucltic : all matter. 

Nay all occafion plcafeth. Mad-mcns rage, 

The idlcneffe of drunkards, womens nothing, 

Jcftcrs fimplicitic, all, all is good 

nut can be catch'r. at. Nor is now th" event 

Uf any perfon, or for any crime, 



To be expected; for, 'tis a lvvaycs one- 
Death, with fome little difference of place, 
Or time what's this? Prince Nero ? guarded ? 

L A c o, Nero, Lepidus, A r r u n t i u si 

(~)N, Li8ors t kcepc your way : My lords, forbearc. 
^^On painc of Cesar's wrath, no man attempt 
Speech with the prifoner. Ner. Noble friends, be fafc : 
To lofe your felves for words, were as vainc hazzard, 
As unto me fmall comfort : Fare you well. 
Would all Rome's tourings in my fate did dwell. 

« H c ' -f !?™> away * • Lep ' Whcrc S° cs he > La co ? Lac. Sir, 

Hes banilhd into Pontta, by the Senate. 

Arr. Do' I fee ? and hearc ? and feele ? May I trnft fenfc > 

Or doth my phant'fie forme it? Lep. Where's his brother? 

Lac. Drusus is prifoner in the palace. Arr. Ha? 

I fmell it now: 'tis rankc. Where's Agrippina? 
Lac. The Princcfle is con find to Pandat/rsia* 
Arr. Bolts, Vulcan j bolts, for Jove'! Phocbus, thy bow; 

Sterne Mars, thy fwordjand blue-ey'd Maid, thy fpeare- 

Thy club, Alcidf.s : all the armoric 

Of heaven is roo little! -Ha ? to guard 

The gods, I meant. Fine, rare difpatch! This fame 

Was fwiftly borne ! confin'd ? imprifon'd > banifh'd > 

Mod tripartite i The caufe, fir? Lac. Treafon. Arr. I 

The complement of all accufings? that 

Will hitt, when all elfe failes. Lep. 1 his turnc is ftrange I 

But yefterday, the people would not hearc 

Farre lefle objedted, but cry'd C/Ksar's letters 

Were falfc, and forg'd 5 that all thefe plots were malice : 

And that the ruine of the Princes hou(e 

Was pra&is r d 'gainft his knowledge. Where are now 

Their voyces ? now, that they Dehold his hcires 

Lock'd up, difgrae'd, led into exile? Arr. Hufli'd. 

Drown'd in their bellies. Wilde Sejanus breath 

Hath, like a whirlc-wind, fcatter'd that poore dull, 

With this rude blaft. Wcc'Ie talk no treafon, fir, 

If that be it you ftand for. Fare you well. 

We have no need of horfe-leechcs. Good fpic, 

Now you arc fpy'd,bcgone. Lep. 1 fcarc,you wrong him. 

He has the voyce to be an honcft Roman. 

iij A r RR * And truftcd to lhis oflicc ? Lepidus, 
lid foonct truft Grceke-SinoH, than a nun 

Our State employes. He's gone : and being gone, 

I dare tell you ( whom I dare better truft ) 

Ihat our night-cy'd Tiberius doth not fee 

H 1S minions drifts j or, if he doe, he's not 

*p errant fubtill, as vvee fooies doe take him : 

lo breed a munerell up, fa his owne houfe, 

With his owne blood, and (if the good gods plcafe) 

I i Ac 




a leapc. 


1 doc not b«c ir, hcjv n : but, if the r 

! ;V f S cYCS they mutt not winke - Lrp ' They mud 

And dutie with the thought, he is our Prince . c > 

Ark He is our monftcr: forfeited to vice 
So fine as no rackt venue can rcdccmc him. 
H is Iorhcd perfon fouler than aU crones : 

jnto au wuiww.v ..-..-, ....-_ — -_._- 

(Atog his Tragedies with a Cw»w* face) 

AmiduMiis rout of «- /w/</«f : fpending hourcs, 

Daves, weeks, and moneths, in the unkind abufe 

Of grave Afrnlogie^ to the banc of men, 

Calling the fcope of mens nativities, 

And having found ought worthy in their fortune, 

Kill, or precipitate them in the fca, 

Aid boat*, he can mock Fate. Nay, mufe not : thefc 

Arc farre from ends of evil!, fcarce degrees. 

He hath his iljuehtcr-houfc, at Capre<e$ 

Where he doth itudie mutder, as an atte : 

And they are dearefl in his grace, that can 

Devife the decpeil tortures. Thither, too, 

He bath his boyes, and beauteous girlcs tanc up, 

Our of our noblell houfes, the bell form'd, 

Belt r.uriur'd, and moil model! : what's their good, 

Serves to provoke hi^ bad. Some are allur'd, 

Some threatnedj others (by their friends detaind) 

Arc raviflid hence, Jikc captives, and, in fight 

Of their moil grieved parents, dealt away 

Unto his [fintrutyfellmefi and'flaves, 

Matters of llrange and new-commented lulls, 

For which wife nature hath not left a name. 

To this (what moll llrikcs us, and bleeding Rome) 

He is, with all his craft, become the ward 

To his owne valla 11, a ftalc Catamite: 

Whom he (upon our low, and fuffering necks) 

Hath ratfd, from excrement, to fide the gods, 

Arid have his proper lacrifice in Rome : 

*r iC ]l i OVE bchoIds > and y« will fooner rive 
A renflcfle oakc with thunder, than his trunck. 

l a c o, p o m p o n 1 u s, m i k u t i u s, 


T I vf c ! ctIers makc mcn doubtfull what e expert, , . 
w hcthei h ls comming, or his death. Pom. Troth, both: 

AnJ which comes fooncfl, thank the gods for. ( A**' &"'» 
loeir talke is C«sa* s I would hcarc all voyces.) 
11 • One day, he's well; and will rcturne to R'™<- 


% J 



The next day, fick; and knowes not when to hope it. 

Lac. True, and to day, one of Sejanus friends 
Honou'd by fpcciall writ; and on the morrow 
Another punifh'd Pom. By more fpcciall writ. 

Min. This man receives his prayfes of Sejanus : 
A fecond, but flight mention ; a third, none : 
A fourth, rebukes. And thus he leaves the Senate 
Divided, and fufpended, all uncertaine^ 

Lac. "I hefc forked tricks, I undcriland 'hem not, 
Would he would rell us whom he loves, or hates, 
That we might follow, without fcarc, or doubt. 

(Ami. Good Heliotrope! Is this your honcft man 
Let him be yours fo ftili. He is my knave.) 

Pom. I canr.ot tell, Sejanus ftill goes on, 
And mounts, we fee: New ftatues are advancd, 
Frcfh leaves of titles, lar^e inferiprions read, 
His fortune fworne by, himfelfc new gone out 
Cesar's colleague, in the fifth Conful-jbi^ 
More Altars finokc to him, than all the gods: 
What would we more ?• ( Are . 1 hat the dcarc fmokc would choakc him 
lhat would I more. Lep. Peace, good Arruntius.) 

Lac. But there are letters come ( they fav ) cv'n now 
Which doc forbid that laft. Min. Doc you heare fo ? Lac Yes 
• Pom. By Pollux, that's the worft. (Arr. By Hercules, belt) 

Min. i did not like the fignc, when Reculus, . 
( whom all we know no friend unto Sejanus) 
Did by Tiderius fo prccifc command, 
Succeed a fellow in the Conful-fbip: 
It boded fomewhat. .Pom. Not a mote. His partner 
Fulcinius Trio, is his owne, and furc. ? 

Here comes Terektius. He can give us more. 

^h EY l\ P c ncre w « w > but C/esar hath fome fente 

01 bold Sejanus footing. Thefc crolTe points 

Of varying letters, and oppofing Confuls 

Mingling his honours, and his punifnmenrs, 

Hyning now ill, now well, rayfing Sejanus, 

And then depreflmg him, (as now of late 

m all reports we have it ) cannot be 

fcmpric of praclice : 'Tis Tf beriu s arte. 

i-or ( having found his favourite growne too great, 

a", 5 VV, .u h t 1S .ST at, l ,c(ro ' ftron g5that all the fouldiers 
Arc, with their leaders, made at his devotion- 
I hat a hnoil all the Senate are his creatures, ' 

vJr ° n , him tl,cir mainc dependances, 
Either for benefit, or hope, or fcare • ' 

And that himfelfe hath loft much of his owne, 

^parting unto h,m ; and by th'increafe ' 

H > r if ank f uftSj and "&*> We <*ifirm'd 

Himfelfe of love, or rather publick meanes, 
*° dare an open conrellation ) 

I i * His 







Bv bis employments, nw*«-* 

»/ u \uL*r\xyp rour, whole ayd ( in hnc ) 

Beare downc, ore-turne a I objeds in their way. 

Arr You may be a Linceus, Lepidus : yet, I 
Sec no fucli caufe, but that a politique tyrannc 
f Who can fo well difguife it) ftould have tane 
A necrcr way : kind hone ft, and come home 
To cut his throat, by law. Lep. I, but his fcare 
Would ne're be mafqud, all-be his vices were. 

Pom. His lordfhip then is (till in grace? Ter. 
Never in more, cither of grace, or power. 

Pom. The ^ods are wife, and juft. ( Arr. The fiends, they art. 
To fuffcr thee belie 'hem?) Ter. I have here 
His laft, and prcfent letters, where he writes him 
The Partner of bis cares, and hit Sejanus - 

Lac. But is that true, it is prohibited 
To facrificcunto him? Ter. Some fuch thing 
Casar makes fcruple of, but forbids it not; 
No more than to himfclfc : fayes, he could wifh 
It were forborne to all. Lac. Is it no other? 

Ter. No other, on my truft. For your more furery, 
Here is that letter too. ( Arr. How eaGly, 
Doc wretched men belceve,what they would have-' 
Looks this like a plot? Lep. Noble Arruntius, ftay.) 

Lac. He names him here without his titles. (Lep. Note. 

Arr. Yes, and come off your notable foole. I will.) 

Lac. No other, than Sejanus. Pom. That's but hafte 
In him that writes. Here he gives large amends. ,. 

Mar. And with his ownc handwritten? Pom. Yes. Lac. \^ : 

Ter. Bcleeve it, gentlemen, Sejanus brcft 
Never receiv'd more full contentments in, 
Than at this prcfent. Pom. Takes he well th'cfcape 
Of young Caligula, with Macro ? Ter. Faith, 
At the firft aire, it fomewhat troubled him. 

(Lep. Obfervcyou? Arr. Nothing. Kiddles. Till 
Sejanus ftrack, no found thereof ftrikes me.) 

Pom. I like it not. I mufc h' would not attempt 
Somewhat againft him in the Conful-jbip, 
Seeing the people ginnc to favour him. 

Ter. He doth repent it, how- but h' has eraploy'd 
Pagonianus after him: and he holds 
Tliat corrcfpondencc, there, with all that arc 
Nccrc about C^sak, as no thought can pafTc 
W ithout his knowledge, thence, in a& to front him. 

Pom. I gratulate the newes. Lac. But,how comes Mac* # 

I fee 


So in truft, and favour, with Caligula? 

Pom. O fir, he has a wife ; and the young Prince 
An appetite '• he can look up, and ipy 
Flies in the roofe, when there arc fleas i' bed : 
And hath a learned nofc to' aflure his fleeps. 
Who, to be favourd of the rifing Sunne, 
Would not lend little of his waning Moonc? 
Tis the fafeft ambition. Noble Terentius. 

Ter. The night growes raft upon us. At your fcrvicc. 

CHORUS Of MuficUns. 





SWell, fwell, my joyes : and faint not to declare 
Your fclvcs as ample as your caufes are. 
I did not live, till now; this my firft: hower: 
Wherein I fee my thoughts rcach'd by my power. 
But this, and gripe my wiirics. Great, and hi»h 
The world knowes only two, that's tome, andV. ; 

My roofe receives me not ; 'tis ayre I tread : 
And, at each ftcp, I fcele my* advanced head* 
Knock out a ftarre in heav'n ! Reard to this height 
All my dcfires fecme modeft, poorc and Height ? 
That did before found impudent: 'Tis place ' 
Not blood, difcerncs the noble, and rhc bafc. 
Is there not fomething more, than to be C*sar > 
Muft we reft there ? it irks, t have come Co fit 
To bee fo necre a ftay. Caligula • " 

Would thou ftood'ft ftifle, and many, in our way 
Wmdes lofe their ftrength, when they do empty fly 
Vn-mct of woods or buildings ; great fires die 
That want their matter to withftand them : fo' 
It is our griefe, and will be our lofle, to know 
Our poiver ftiall want Oppofites ; unlefle 
"I he gods, by mixing in the caufe, would blcflc 
Our fortune with their conqueft. That were worth 
Sejanus ftnfe : durft fates but bring it forth. 

Terentius, Sejanus. 
g Afety, to great Sejanus. Se/. Now, Terentius ? 

Ter Hearcs not my lord the wonder? Se]. Spcakc it no" 

Win rnn ^ " VI ° ICnC ° fc P C °P IcS ^A 

Who mnnc, in routs, to Pompe/s Theatre 
To view your ftatue: which, they fay, fends forth 
A fmokc as from a furnace, black, and dreadful! 
Se;. Some traytor hath put fire in : (you, go* Ccc) 

I i 3 And 


I think you meane to imke't a pre 
In vour reporting? Ter. Can the 


And IcT^ead be taken ot^ co took ^ ^ 

Satrius, Na'-va. 

T He head, my lord, airily is rane off, 
1 Ifc v ft and, at oM *f* leap t our 
A .teat and monftrous ierpent ! M. Monftrous! why? 
Hafk a Ud ? and homes? no heart ? a tongue 
Forked as flattery ? look't it of tire hue, 
To fuch as live in great mens bofomes ? was 
Thc fpiritofic Macros? Nat. May it plea fc 
Tljcmo'ft divine Sejanus, in my dayes, 
( And by his facrcd fortune, 1 aftirmc it ) 
J have not feene a more extended, grownc, 

Foulc, fpottcd, venemous, ugly Si). 0, the fates ! 

What a wildc mutter's here of attributes, 

T'cxprcflc a wormc.a tnake? Ter. But how that mould 

Come there, my lord ! Sej. What land youtoo,TERENTius ? 

make't a prqdigie 
__ your reporting? ier. Can the wife Sejanus 
Think heav'n hath meant it lefle? Sej. O, fuperftition ! 
Why, then the falling of our bed, that brake 
This morning, burd'ned with the populous weight 

Of our exposing clients, to; 
Or running of the car, betwixt our leggs, 
As we fct forth unro tjje Capitol/ } 
Were prodigies. Ter. I think. t,hem ominous ! 

As, too day, 
Their way, not able, for the throng, to follow, 
Slipt do.vnc the Gemonies y and bialtc their necks I 
Befides, in taking your laft augury, 
No profperous bird appeard, but croking; Ravens 
Flagd up and downe : and from the facrifice 
Flew to the prifon, whore they fate, all night, 
Beating the ayrc with their opftrepcrous beakes! 
I dare not counfcll, but I could entreat, 
That great Sejanus would attempt the gods, 
Once more, with facrifice. Sej. What excellent fooles 
Heligion makes of men ? Belccvcs Threntius, 
(If thefe were dangers, as L mame to think them) 
I he gods could change the ccrtainc courfe of Fate? 
Wr, if they could, they. would (now, in a moment) 
For a breve, far, or kfle, be brib'd t invert 


VVC1C piUUJglO. 1RI\. X lUH* ^UW» UllH' 

And, would they had not hapned. As, toe 
The fate of fome your fervantsi vyho, deel: 

Their power as cheap, us 1 cuccm it fmall. 
yi all the throng, that fill xKoljmfun Hall, 

c jar. us 


And (without pity) lade poore Atlas back, 
I kno.v not that one deity, but Fortune , 
To whom, I would thro.v up, in begging fmokc, 
One grane of Incenfe : orwhofc care Fid buy 
With thus much oyle. Her, I, indeed, a. 'ore j 
And keep her gratcfull image in ray houfe, 
Some-times belonging to a Roman King, 
But, now cald mine, as by the better flile : 
To her, I care nor, if (for fkisfying 
Your fcrupulous phant'lies) I goe offer. Bid 
Our Prieft prepare us honey, milk, and poppy, 
His maiculiiie odours, and night-veftments ! fay, 
Our Rites arc inftanr, which performd, you'll fee 
How vaine, and worthy laughter, your fcares bee. 


DOmi'onius /whither in fuch fpced? Pom. I goe 
To give my lord Sejanus notice Cot. What> 

T^Cr° f r^ ACR °- C 2. T - IsIlccom c ? Pom. Entredbut now 
The houfe of Reoulus. Cot. The oppofire Conful? 

Pom. Some halfc hourc fince. Cot. And, by night too ! ftav fir- 
lie bcarc you company. Pom. Along then Li 6 *' • > 

Macro, Re gulus, Lac o. 

T'ls C tsar's will, to have a frequent Senate. 

And therefore muft your lay deep mule* 
On fuch as (hall be abfent. Rhg. So it doth 
Bcare it my fellow Conful to adferibe. 
Mac. And tell him, it mult earjy be .proclaim^ • 

m P "a J P ° LL l °' s Tcm P lc - Reg ' Thac '* remembrcd. 

Mac And at what hourc? Reg. Yes. Mac. You doc forget 
To fend one for the Frovofl of the watch ? 6 

Reg. I have not .-here he comes. Mac. G^acinus Laco, 
You arc a friend molt welcome ; by and by, 
lie fpeake with you. ( You muft procure this lift 
Of the Prttortan cohorts, with the names 
Ur the Centurions, and their Tribunes. R EG I ) 

r' i bnng you letters, and a health fr'om'c*sAK 

Whieh'i'rh C ° me Wdl ( , Mac ' Ard »carc you, with your note 
V\ hich are the i eminent men, and mod of aftion. * 

mill aE! bc done y° u too '> Mac - M ° ft worthy Laco, 
*sar falutes you. ( Conful I death, and furies ' Y 

hZT \ lhc ar * ument vvi " p ,eifc you, fir. " ; 

(Hough Reculus ? The anger of the eods 

Utiterf tSf* k *- S anJ -ertake 'hern 
tn0c of the gour.) O, good my lord, 



Xs: *zeu 



6 8 

../I • 

Xuar c. 

, (o , f u rvay the- watch 

While I, with L a xc °£7g KACjmis ? Lac. Seven cohorts 

Mac. i oul "> f ,,/^/^n in Ins feet) 
H has fore a veine o :"_ P % i0 riaft fouldiers 
Knew you what itoa o* w 
SbjANUS holds, about ^ uimber . f uf> j tMnk) 

Lac I ca ?" oc M c ' / Three? good. Lac. At moft, not fo Urc 
Th S! "Tad who bethofe ti»*«t Lac. That/the c^ 
rJ? heft cklt you. Mac. ( When hecs away : 
SSkaobfa nimble induftrie.) Giiacinus, 
%fi£ wSt plaee you hold there in the truft 
Ofroyall Oesak? Lac. 1, and lam— — Mac. Sir, 
Uc honours, there proposed, arc but beginnings 

Of his treat favours. Lac They are more -Mac. I heard hint 

When he did ftudie,what to adde -— Lac. My life, 

And all 1 bold Mac. You were his ownc hrft; choice; 

Which doth confirmc as much, as you can fpeak: 

And will ( it wc fucceed ) make more Your guards 

Arc feven cohorts, you fay? Lac. Yes. Mac. Thofe wc mud 
Hold ftill in read inc fie, and undifchar&d. 
Lac. I undcrfhnd fo much. But how it can . 

Mac. Be done without fufpicion, you'le objeft? 

Reg. What's that ? Lac. The keeping of the watch in arraes, 
When morning comes. Mac. The Senate (hall be met, and fct 
So early, in the Temple, as all marke 
Of that will be avoyded. Reg. If wc need, 
We have commiflion, to pofTcffe the palace, 
Enlarge Prince Dfumis,and make him our chiefc. 

Mac. ( That fecrct would have burnt his reverend raoutn, 
Had he not fpit it out, now : ) by the gods, # 

You carry things too Let me borrow a roan, 

Or two, to bearc thefc That of freeing Drusus, 

C.4sah projefted as the laft,and utmoft; 
Not elfc to be rcmembrcd. Reg. Here are fervanis. 
Mac. Thefc to Arruntius, thefc toL&Pious. 

Thisbcare to Cotta, this to Latiaris. 

If they demand you' of me : fay, I have tanc 
"Frefh horfe, and am departed. You ( my lord) 

T-> your colleague, and be you furc, to hold him 

W ith long narration, of the new frcfli favours, 

Meant to SejanusjIus great patron; I, 

Wirhtruftcd Laco, here, arc for the guards: 

Then, to divide. For, night hath many eyes, 

Whereof, though moft doc deep, yet fomc arc [pies. 


V V, A. C O N E S, 
r L A M E N , M 1 N I S T R I, 

all pm r ane farre hence j Flie,flie farre off: 
Be alfent farre $ far re hence be all profane. 


Fla. Wc have becne faultic, but repent us now, 
And bring pure bands, pure veftments, and pure minds. 

MiN. Pure njeJJ ells. Min. And pure ojf rings. MiN. Garlands pure. 

Fla. Bcftow your garlands : and ( with reverence) place 
The vervin on the Altar. Pr*. Favour jour tongues. 

Fla. Great mother Fortune, g)ucenc of humane (late, 
Xettrefje of aHion y Arbitreffe of 'fate, 
To whom all fn>aj y all power y all empire bowes 
Be prefent, and propitious to our vowes. 
PllJE. Favour it with jour tongues. 

Min. Be prefent, and propitious to our vowes, 
Accept our of ring, and be pleas' d, great GoddcJJ'e. 

Ter. Sec, fcc, the image ftirrcs ! Sat. And turnes away! 
Nat. Fortune averts her face ! Fi.a. Avert, you gods 

The prodigie. Still ! ftill ! Some pious rite * 

We have neglected. Yet ! hcav'n, be appcas'd. 

And be all tokens falfe, or void, that fpeak 

Thy prefent wrath. Sej. Be thou dumb, fcrupulous Prieft : 

And gather up thy fclfe, with thefe thy wares. 

Which I, in fpight of thy blind miftris, or 

Thy juggling my fiery, Religion, throw 

Thus, fcorncd on the earth. Nay, hold thy look 
Averted, till I wooc thee, turne againe; 

And thou malt ftand, to all pofterity, 

Th ctcrnall game, and laughter, with thy neck 

Writh'd to thy tayle, like a ridiculous car. 

Avoyd thefe fumes, thefe fupcrftitious lights, 

And all thefe cos'ning ceremonies : you, 

Your pure, and fpiccd confciencc. I, the fkvc, 

And mock of foolcs, (fcorne on-my worthy head) 

That have been titled, and ador'd a god, 

Yea, facrifie'd unto, my (elfc, in Rome, 

No Icfle than Jove : and I be brought to doe 

A pcevifli gigglot, rites ? Perhaps, the thought, 

And fliame of thar, made Fortune turne her face, 

Knowing her felfc the lefTcr deity, 

And but my fcrvant. BalTifuIl Queene, if fo, 

Sejanus thanks thy modefty. Who's that? 

Pomponius, Sej anus, Minutius, &c« 
J-J Is fortune fuffers, till he heares my newes : 

I have waited here too long. Macro, my lord r 

Mm tK5 { T h and ?™»* Ter. Are thefc things true? 
Min. Thousands are gazing at ir, in the ftrccts. 

Th!f j ; il 4 u S jft?? TER - M ^Tiustelsushere,myIord, 
Jhat, a new head being fct upon your ftarue, 

A rope is fincc found wreatl/d about it I m l 
But now, a fiery meteor, in the forme 
JJr a great ball, was feene to rowle alona 
rhe troubled ayre, where yet it hangs, uSperfeft, 




vhActht fk- 

While chci 

found ag 
the Fbmen 
takes o; the 
hony y Aizh his 
finger, &t ft:, 
then mmiRcrs 
roaJj the reft: 
in an earthen 
▼ cffel,hedeaJs 
about; vhich 
SclcrJi upon the 

Altar, milk ; 

thchony, an<f 

kindlcch fan 

g'JBimci, and 
ar'cer ceo/tag 


pfaceth his 

eenfer there- 
on,into which 

they put feve- 

rall branched 

of poppy, and 

ilic mufick 

ccafing, proW 



M i » 

The amnjng •J^g ^^"'comc, is more tb*n all! 
5S- V°M Aocorne? Pom. 16" him. T F . R .WhcrcMv 

For L "co, "«tf of the watch. Now, S atrtus, 
The time of proofc comes on. Arme all our fcrvants, 
And without tumult. You, Pomponius, 
Hold Tome good corrcfpondcnce with the CM 
Attempt him, noble fricad. Thefe things begin 
To look like dangers, now, worthy my fates. 
Fortune, I fee thy worft : Let doubtfull States, 
And things unccrtaine hang upon thv will : 
Me furcft death (hall render certaine (till. 
Yet, why is, now, my thought turn'd toward death, 
Whom fates have let goc on, fo farre, in breath, 
Unchcckt, or unreprov'd? I, that did hclpe 
To fell the lofty Cedar of the world, ' 
Germanicus ; that, at one ftroke, cut downe 
Drusus, that upright Elme; withculhis Vine; 
Laid Sinus, and Sabinus, two flrong Oakcs, 
Flat on the earth ; befidcs, thofe other fhrubs, 
Cordus, and Sosia, Claudia, Pulchra, 
Furnius, and Gallus, which 1 have grab'd up; 
And fince, have fet my axe fo ftrong, and dcepe 
Into the rootc of fpreading Agrippina ; 
Lopt off, and fcatter'd her proud branches, Nero, 
Drusus, and Caius too, although re-planted; 
If you will, Deftinies, that, after all, 
I faint, now, ere I touch my period; 
You are but cruell : and I already have done 
Things great enough. All Rome hatl) becne my flave ; 
The Senate fate an idle looker on, 
And witneffe of my power ; when I have blufh'd . ; 
More, to command, than it to fuffcr; all 
The Fathers have fate ready, and prepar'd, 
To give me Empire, Temples, or their throatcs, 
When I would aske 'hem • and (what crowncs the top) 
Rome y Senate^ People, all the world have feene 
Jove, but my cquall: Casar, but my fecond. 
Tis then your malice, Fates, who ( but your owne) 
Envy, and fearc t have any power long knownc. 

T E R E N T I U S, T R I B 11 N E Si 

gTay here : lie give his lordfliip, you are come. 

ijh wh 0ni > 
My lord? 








Arcus Terentihs, 'pray you tell my lord, 
Hcres Cotta, and Latiaris. Ter. Sir, I fliall. 
Cot. My letter is the very fame with yours 5 

Onlv requires mee to be prcfent rherc, 

And give my voyce, to ftrengthen his'defigne. 

r AT - !i am f he not' what it is? Cot. No, nor to you. 
Lat Tis ftrange and fingujar doubtfull ! Cot. So it is. 
It may bee all is left to lord Skjanus. 

Natta, Laco. 

("J Enrfcmen, where** my lord ? Tri . Wee wait him here. 

Cot. The Provofi Laco ? what's the newes > Lav. My lord 


I 2 

VTOiv, my right dcare, noble, and rruftcd friends; 
How -much I am a captive to your kindncfle ! 
Moft worthy Cotta,. Lati arts, Laco, 
Your valiant hand; and gentlemen, your loves. 
1 wirti I could divide my fclfe unco- you* 
Or that it lay, within our narrow povversj 
To fatisiie for fo enlarged bounrie. 
Gracinus, we muft pray you, hold your guardes 
Unquit, when morning comes. Saw you the Confall 
Min. Trio will prefently be here, my lord. 
Cot. They are but giving order for the E.iifl, 
To warne the Senate. Sej. How i the Senate? Lat. 
This morning, in Apollo's Temple. Cot. Wee 
Are charg'd, by letter, to be there; my lord. . 
Sn'h By letter? 'pray you, lets fee ! La T . Knowes not his lordrtiip .»" 
Cot. It femes fo ! Sej A Smote wua'd J. without my knowledge? 
And on this fodame? Senators by letters 

Required to be there I who brought thefe? Cot. Macro. 

Sej. Mine enemy ! And when? Cot. This mid-night. Sej. Time, 
With ev'ry other circumftancc, doth give 
It hath fome ftrcine of engin in't 1 How now ? 

S A T R I U S, S E j A N U S, &C. 

]^/| Y lord, Shrtorius Macro is without, 

T k £ ,0 £ c ' and pravs V bavc P riv -»tc conference 
jn Dufineflc, of high nature, with your Iordfhip, 

{ He iayes to me ) and which regards you much. 

Youtm h , him c ? me A hcre ' ^AT. Better, my lord, with-draw, 
jou will betray, what ftore and ftrength of friends 
*re now about you ; which he comn to fpie. 

And Ld h£!^ r m ' d ? Sat ' Wcc * ie fearch him - Sej. No,but rake, 
*nd ead him to fome roome, where you, conccal'd 
May keepe a guard upon us. Noble Laco, ' 

You are our truft : and, till our owne cohorts 


'■ t r I'm 

To tbllK. 

To tht'fi. 


I . 







„ . — ZTSaSb* muft be our guard. 

Now, good Misu Tius,* oro frkDd 

Moft worthy, and my molt ui ^ ^ ^ , 

1 -jmc infta»tly > Al ; - a inftanc ^nd, mc thinks, 

Cot. His lord ft JP.^ llcrcCO forc 
Vluvc not obferv J tf» £ ^^ him nobly , MlN . 

Tri.i. ?J».? u \ u a. By Mars, he has my lives, 
Am rapt VttfWU* j j | grace. 

( Were they t "J^fJSS 1 L vt. As he did mc ! 

Lac " I 5 TLl° 1 h r Who would not fpend his lift and fortunes 

Sejanus, Macro. 
Acr o ! moft welcome, as moft coveted friend ! 
Let me enjoy my longings. When arrivd you ? 

mIc. About the W>»c ol night. Sej. Satrius give leave. 

Mac. 1 have becne, Gnce 1 came, Kith both the Cm/*/* 
On a particular dcfigne from GasAft 

Sej. How fares it with our great, and royall maitcr. 

Mac. Right plentifully well j as, with a Prince, 
That ftill holds out the great proportion 
Of his large favours, where his judgement hath 
Made once divine clcdion : like the. god 
That wants not, ror is wearied to beftovv 
Where merit meets his bountie, as it doth 
In you, already the moft happy, and' ere 
The Sunne fhall climbe the "South, moft high Sej anus. 
Ler not my lord be'amus'd. For, to this end 
Was I by Cesar fent for, to the iflc, 
With fpcciall caution to conccalcmy journey; 
And, thence, had my dipatch as privately 
Againc to Rome-, charg'd to come here by night ; 
And, only to the Conjuis, make narration 
Of his great purpofc : that the benefit 

Might come more full, and ftriking, by how much 

It was lefle lookt for, or afpir'd by you, 

Or leaft informed to chc common thought. 
Sej. What may this be? part of my felfc, deare MACRO, 

fr 00 ^ fpcakc 0UC:ar, d marc with your Sejakus. 

Mac. U bad, 1 ihould for ever loathe my felfc 
ro be the mcflcnger to fo good a lord. 
I doc exceed nv ;r,ftr„A;«„„ .. 

x'« i in • "" l,MW| w.^ iu acquaint 

^our IordOupwnh thus much; but 'tis my venture 
On your retentive wifedome : and, becaufc 
I would no jealous fcruplc mould molcft 

My noble lord, no Senator yet kDOwcs ' 

Ihc bufincflc meant : though all, by fevcnU letter?, 



Arc warned to be there, and give their voyecs, 

Only to adde unto the State,, and grace 

Of what is purpos'd. Sej. You take plcafurc, Macro, 

Like a coy wench, in torturing your lover. 

What can be worth this fuffenng? Mac. 1 That which followcs 1 , 

The Tribtmie'uU diguiric, and power : 

Both which Sejanus is to have this day 

Confcrd upon him, and by publtck Senate. , 

Sej. Fortune, be mine againc-, thou haft fatisJaed 
For thy fufjx-ctcd loyaltie. Mac. My lord, 
1 have no longer time, the day approacheth, 
And I muft back to G/Esar. Sej. Where's Caligula ? 

Mac. "that I forgot to tell your lordfhip. Why, 
He lingers yonder, about Capre* 9 

Difgrac'd j Tiberius hath not fecne him yet: i 

He needs would thruft himfclfe to goe with mej 

Againft my wifli, or will, but I hue quitted ' » 

His forward trouble, with as tarctie note 

As my neglect, or filcricc could afford him. 

Your lordfhip cannot now command rnc: ought, 

Becaufc, I take no knowledge that 1 (aw you, 

But I (hall boa ft to live to fcrvc your lordfhip : 

And fo take leave. Sej. : Honc(r,and worthy Macro, 

Your love, and friendlhip. Who's there? Satrius^ 

Attend my honourable friend forth. O J 

How vainc, and vile a paffion is this fcare ? 

What.bafc, uncomely things, it makes men doe? 

Sufpccr. their nobleft friends, (as I did this ) 

Flatter poorc enimics, intrcatc their fervants, 

Stoop, court, and catch at the benevolence 

Of creatures, unto whom ( within this houre ) 

I would not have vouchfafd a quarter-look, 

Or piece of face? By you, that fooles call gods, i 

Hang all the sky with your prodigious (igncs, 

Fill earth with monfters, drop the Scorpion downe, 

Out of the Zodiac^ or the fietccr Lyon, 

Shake off the loos'ned globe from her long hinge, 

Rowlc all the world in darknefle, and let loofe 

Th' imaged winds to turne up groves and towncsj 

When f doc fcare againc, let mc be ftruck 

With forked fire, and unpittyed dye: 

Who feares, is worthy of calamity. , 



POMPONIUS, R E G 11 L U S> T R I 6. 

T$ rftflt& 


S !£* my . Ji rf ** tc ■ Ter • Sir > hc wiU be ftnugtit* 

"* *"" "" Trio? Tri. Good, good tidings 

■A C; }t> 


Cot. Whatnewcs,FuLciNius Irio? Tf 
(But,kcepc it to your felfc) My lord Sejanus 
Is to receive this dav, in open Senate, 
The Tribuniciall digmrie. Cot. 1st true? 


7i them- 

_— ; " rrrtiTvouTthought : bur ' fir > Sleeve it. 

TR1 . Xortfl* "*^* Cot. (Spcakc it not ngainc,) 
Lat. W hat (ayes the j ^ Sejanus ^ 

He tells me, that to . y / Cotta, on your honour 

( Tri. l^.^T/onmy life fir.) I>at. Say. 
Not to tevealc it. y rribunicUU power. 

CoT - ^^^honourabteimao, 
But, as you are an now kj 

*? r 1S ittiwci mX. , Tek. Can you a flu re fcf 

U Th?rV*fr/ told it me, but keepe it clofc. 

Z: 2Sn^tV^» f ^2S LAT ' rlctcH 

mi _.«. /: ~ rr» k«*oe it iccret 



But you mult fwcarc to keepe it fecret 



T Knew the Pates had on their diftaffc left 

I More of our thread, than fo. Reg. Hade, great Sejanus. 

Tin Haile the raofthonour'd. Cor. Happy. Lat. HigjiSEJANuj. 

Sti " Doc you bring prodigies too? Tri. May aU prefagc 
lurac to thofc feire effete, whereof wee bring 
Your lordmip ncwes. Keg. May t plcafe my lord mth-drajr. 

Sej. Yes (i will fpeakc with you, anon.) Ter. My lord 
What is your pleafure for the Tritunes I Sej. Why, 
Let 'hem be thank't, and fent away. MiN.My lord — 

Lac. Wife pleafe your lordfhip to command me- •*,»,.„-. 

You are troublefome. M in. The mood ischangd. Tri. Not fpeakc? 

Tiu. Nor looke? Lac. I. He is wife, will make him friends 
Of fuch, who never love, but for their ends. 

D'vm tfitr 

Stm:m t*fi*& 

Arruntius, Lepidus. 


I, Goc, m 
To tende ,__ , 

Of huge Sejanus : runne, a Litton pace 5 
Stay not to put your robes on; but, away, 
With the pale troubled enfigncs of great friend Chip 
Starapt i your face i Now, Marcus Lepidus, 
You (till bclcevc your former aujuric ? 
Sejanus muft goc downe-ward ? you perceive 
His wine approaching faft? Lep . Belceve me, Lucius, 
I wonder at this rifmg ! Arr. I, and that wee 
Muft give our fuffra^c to it ? you will fay, 
It 1$ to make his fall more (keepe, and grievous? 
It may be fo. But think it, they that can 
With idle wi(hes flay to bring back time : 
In cafes defperate, all hope w crime 
Sec, fee! what troups of hi, officious friends 
Flock 10 falutc my lord 1 and rtart before 
My great, proud lord ! to a « a lord-like nod 1 


Attend my lord, unto the Senate-houfe ! 
Bring back my lord J like fervile ufliers, make 
Way for my lord-! proclaimc his idoll lord-fhip, 
More than ten cryers, or fix noyfe of trumpets ! 
Make leggs, kifle hands, and take a fcatter'd hayre 
From my lords eminent fhouldcr J Sec, Sanqiunius! 
With his flow belly, and his dropfie i look, 
What toyling haftc he makes ! yet, here's another, 
Retarded with the gout, will be afore him! 
Get thec Li twrnian porters, .thou groftc foole, 
To beare thy obfequious fatneffc/likc thy pcercs. 
They arc met ! The gout retumes, and his great carriage 



Lictors, Consuls, Sejanus, &c. 

Ive way, make place 5 roome for the Co»faI. San. Haile, 
Haile, great Sejanus. Hat. Haile, my honour'd lord. 
Arr. Wc (lull be markt anon, for our not-Hailc. 
Lep. That is already done. Arr. It is a note 

Of upftart grcatneflc, to obferve, and watch 

For thefc poorc trifles, which the noble mind 

Neglects, and fcorncs. Lep. I, and they think thcrrifelves 

Deeply diftionour'd, where they are omitted, 

As if they were neceflities, that helpt 

1T0 the perfection of their dignities : 

And hate the men, that but refraine 'hem. Arr.. O '■ 

There is a farder caufe of hate. Their brefts 

Are euiltie, that we know their obfeure Iprings, . 

Andbafe beginnings: thence the anger grows. On. Follow, 


Macro, Lac oY 

*\ZV7"Hen all are entred, fhut the Temple doores; 
^ ▼ And bring your guards up to the gate. Lac. I will, 

Mac. If you fliall heare commotion in the Senate, 
Prefcnt your felfe : and charge on any man 
Shall offer to come forth. La«. I am inftrudicd. 

h ate rius, tr i o, $ a n c^u i n i u s> 

Cotta, Regulus, Sejanus, 
pomponius, latiaris, 
Lepidus, Arruntius, 
»» Pr/econ^s, Lictores. 

UOw well his lordmip looks to day J Tri. As if 
. ■* He had becne borne, or made for this houres flare. 
Cot. Your fellow Ccmfuls come about, me thinks' 
Tri. I, he is wife. San. Sejanus trufts him well- 

Kk 2 

t*firitt iW 





i KI . Now be will luvc power 
•vcr. Cor. Lcr us lookc 

^T^oblc lountfous lord. N 

Tri. Sejanus is a noD ' , iant . L at. And moft wife. 
Hat. He is fo, and n^ 1 U T. vVonhy ofaUj and nQK 

Sen. Hccs ^^"^r,. This dignity 
Than bounty cm bcitcm- Abou , ^ SAR , Sax. Tur, 

Claris bur tlirretfo 

He of the Empire-- ■ 

More to wrtj* ■ . . ing nim our voyecs. 

Wee be nor flirt, n b j CoT Thc rca a lcr we fa* 

UT - N °hL' honours, will more bind 
MX o ou- H-vr I rbic* right, with your loidfhip. 
His tnou D i u> a our laccs# 

; Ir sU r?nJ,tmorc, Lat. More pftce and more title, 
POM 1 will not lofe the parr, I hope to (lure 
In thefc his fortunes, for my patrimony. 
I at See liw Akkun i -ins fits, and Lepidus. 
Tki.' Let 1:em a lone, they vvill be uurkc anon. 

Sen- He doe with others. Sen. So will I. Sen. And I. 
Men bow not in the State, but as they arc planted 
\Yarmc in his favours. Cot. Noble Sejanus 

Hu HonWd Sejanus I Lat. Worthy, and great Sejanus! 

Arr. Gods! how the fpunges open, and take in! 
And (hut agairc! look, look ! is not he blelt 
That gets a fcatc in eye-reach of him ? more, 
That comes in care, or tongue-reach ? 6, but molt, 
Can claw his fubtle elbow, or with abuzze 
five-blow bis cares. Pra. Proclairac thc Senates peace ; 
And give laft fummons by the Edid. Pfc«. Silence: 
In the name of C asar, and the Senate. Silence. ,, 

Mbmmius Reculus, WFulciniusTrio, Co »J* l f\L j T Lu 

Kalends of Iune,nith the firfl light, frail hold a Senate, £ <'" ' L, 

Apollo Palatine^/ that are Father!, And m r€ ^L f ' 

have right of cm, tug the Senate ,ne rear fit, or command,)™ 1*2*1 
pefent, take kntmledqe thehfmejje if the Common-v«M>*\ W? 
fat, hit fne, or mula, mil le taken, hu excuse mil not be M«* 

Tri. "Note, who arc abftmr, and record their names. 

Keg. Fathers Conscript, May, what I am to utter, 
Tttrnt good, and happy, for the Common-rpealtb. 

And thou Apollo, in whofc holy houfc 


We new are met, infpirc us all, with truth. 
And hbeitic of cenfure, to our thought. 

Propounds to *& a iavc Senate, thc beftowiu" 
Upon the man k.f , - d Sejanuj, 

The /r/WM//dignitic, and power-, 

arc his letter,, f^d with his fignct: | 
pleafeth nm the Fa,hen tf fc, done i 
S, x. Keadc, reade'hem, open, publkkly, rcade 'hem. • 
Cot. Gasar hath honour'd hju ownc fircatneffc mucb, 

what pi 


In thinking of this atf. Tri. It was a thought 

Happy, and worthy Cesar. Lat. And thc lord, 

As worthy ir, on whom it is dirc&ed ! 

Hat. Moft worthy! San. Rome did never boaft the vcrtue 

That could give Envic bounds, but his: Sejanus 

Sv.n. Honour'd, and noble ! Sen. Good, and great Sejanus 
Arr. 0,moft tame flavcry,and fierce flattcrie ! Pita. Silence. 



I' F)o„ Cohjcrlft h,bt, s „j,h pur ch,ldren, he in hetlth it u aboun- 
dantl, wet: me will, our friends here, are fo. The care of Lr. 
«*», fa**, „ are reU, in &J& b„%Ztttr,Z x Z 

J Z r U: '■"" xM 'f!f'»^ ««' "">' mi fertile to a S,a,e, w mates the 
ml of governing more dfcult. Bat fine* it haih been our eafe.fdl hat'nZ 

keen the more wdulgent to our pleafures, not as being careU Lur office but 
rather ^ure of the necejsit,. Nepher doe thefe tommonruLur, of man, 

-" .« of mens tgnorance, than ,h eir malice , and mil, negleBed SnttheW 
<a*emtm% <&«<« <°°(<»m aeinowled^'it Zuldt Teth r 

(Arr. Thc lapwing, the lapwing.) 

Pr)Z 'l^.f/'^ri^b, Elmore neereconcerne the maMieofa 
\ln I" Mf?" t0 be f° unnaturally cruell to our ownefame a to La 

jram obfeure, and almojl unknotvne aentrie ( W i/L il' ,?' 

« 4. bighef, and J confficuou^oint 'of grease] and ( Z hoZVdL 

fubjeas {"""•I'rhve to one, dares adventure the hatred of all his otler 
(Arr This touclies, thc blood turnes.) 

SmeriS \ ) ^ thcFC l J0 ° kt fo "- A aood foxh 

^ther^ that would intent this his f!JEgg^ m y,^ 


is read. 


t t.T 

'' 1 


wth it 

r ambition > ^ dthM ? U T'J hi he hath m*d$ to himfelfe, by the pjj 
m kn : ftJH*£££r' , and Senate, by the offices hee kol/°& 
ulAiersJ) hts a&on \* i,;/ aaoularitie. and dependent*. /,;, " ' 


fouLliers , h 


juh ,-/ - L erS his popularitic, and dependents, his w *- 


lull anon bciccvc your vultures, Marcus ) 

i a T iliall anon Dciccvc r u. ,.»..«.•, ™- ' 

lR R ;/J conkript Fathers, are able to examine , andcen[ttr t ,l 
f ?K *l nie they left to our absolving voyce, we dur[ ?m ,, 
e P mS 'l-nL them/mod malicious. 

J i L ,c itee think them, m»\ 

Tshn O, he has rcftor'J all, lift ) 

( 1 ,/J , oViU/ " ^ averrd,and on the lives of the informers, whix « 
FJZfovmb »h« we fbo»M not fay, Lords of the Senate iflbk k 
i lullds and rodders confound us if we know 1 Only we muf think, * 
KSlWStoi' SmO, ^t, in ourchoyfe, either^ 
wanting to the gods, or the gods to W. 

rAiiR The place grows hor, they fhift.) 

J e Lve»otTeeIe covefous, **»^'^»^>'2 l »"ft 

them how learned a wing it v so ow* «y >*» „-..~~ r - -• »,, .--™, 
tbore treat ones,whom their owne employd favours have made fit jor their funu 

(Sis. Away. Sen. Sit farder. Cor. Let's remove—- 
Ark i Gods I how the leaves drop off, this little winde \ ) 
we therefore defire, that the offices he holds, beefirfl feized by the St*»\ * 
himfelft fufp ended from all exercife of 'place, or power (terids- 

(Sen. How! San. Byyour leave. Arr. Come, P ore P <fc enters W- 
His gout keeps him moft miferably conftant.) 
Your dancing fhewes a tempeft. Sej. Reade no more. 

Reg. Lords of the Senate, hold your feats : reade on. 

7 ■ ~ • ' . fit (till. 

nmfelfe fufpended from all excrete «/ P l ' 
ttnatlbemade of hit innocency,^** 1 * 
it/, to doubt. If, C.onfcript l*»$L 

power, but till due and mature 

faintly apprehend the trecejiity, >» MW <«, t . , } ,~~,. y .^- . , fft . 

more [earching wifedomes, there jhall appeare farther caufe ( or of ]* 
ceedin^ , tuber to feizure of lands, goods, or more — ) it is not fl«»* f» •, 
jhall Unit your authority, or our favour, that mufl corrupt your j"? 11 " ' ^ 
were difhonourabie in you, and loth Uncharitable to but Jelft. ll ' e * f ,Mfi 
lingly be present will, your counfailes in this buftnefje, but the danger ojir 
a taction ttfh fc« - rSs c~l:j. „..- 'aJlZiT-* it .• except °" ! ' 

tfyou keepeasseye^nbim^andthereif L\-Tit.Kls *$* ito f>*Zlt «* 
Rius NATTA, two ofh Uno fl truKedmiaiile.-s, and fo profe<j,f°!* 
(irenot to havtappr ended) but or the nccr'fity of the caufe eJeM* IU flff" 

Sej anus. 

■hl f J 

Ri:g. A guard on Latiaris. Arr. O, the fpic '■ 
The reverend fpie is caught, who pitties him? 
Reward, fir, for your fcrvice : now, you ha* done 
Your propcrrie, you fee whatufc is made? 
Hangup the inftrument. Sej. Give leave. Lac. Stand, (land, 
He comes upon his death, that doth advance 
An inch toward my point. Sej. Have wee no friends here? 

Ark. Huflit. Where now are all the hailes, and acclamations? 

Macro, Senate 


Aile, to the Confuls, and this noble Senate. 

Sej. Is Macro here? O, thou art loft, Sejanus. 
Mac. Sit ftill, and un-affrighted, reverend Fathers. 
Macro, by Casars grace, the new-made Provofl, 
And now poffeft of the Prttorian bands, 
An honour larc bclong'd to that proud man, 
Bids you, be fafc : and" to your conilant doome 
Of bis defervings, offers you the furety 
Of all the fouldiers, Tribunes, and Centurions, 
Rccciv'd in our command. Reg. Sejanus, Sejanus, 
Srand forth, Sej anus. Sej. Am I call'd? Mac. I, thou, 
Thou infolent monftcr, art bid ftand. Sej. Why, Macro 
It hath bcene otherwife, bctweenc you, and I ? i ' 

This Court, that knowes us both, hath fcene a difference 
And can (if it be plcas'd to fpeake) confirrae, 
Wbofe infolencc is moft. Mac. Come downe Typbgut. 
If mine be moft, loe, thus I make it more* ' 
Kick up thy heeles in ay re, teare offtby robe 
Play with thy bc:rd,and noftrills. Thus 'tis fir/ 
(And no man take compaffion of thy ftatc) 
To ufe th' ingratcfull viper, tread his braines 
Into the earth. Reg. Forbeare, Mac. If I could lofc 
All my humanity now, 'twere well to torture 
So meriting a traytor. , Wherefore, Fathers, . 
Sir you amaz'd,and lllent? and not cenfurc 
Tins wretch, who in the hourc he firft rcbclld 
Gamft Casars bountic, did condemne himfelfe? 

m IF**! tllC ^^ wherc al1 t3ic roims of tmh 
Mufter'd againft the gods, did ne're acknowledge 

a R,' and I,u & e a m °nftcr: Reg. Take hin hence. 
And all the gods guard C*sar. Tri. Take him hence. 
Hat. H cncc . Got. To the dungeon with him. San. Hcdeferves it 

Whh;n^ ea,l0Ur i d00 , res r hba y cs - San - Andlctanoxe 

un ; ? S) ^ s arlands » ftrai s hc bc ^ 

Unto the Capstoll. Hat. And facrific^ 

'o Jove, for Casars fafcty. Tri. All our zods 

Be prcfent ftiU to C.sar. 'cot. P^us^sSTmars. 

Alii wnM I ' n, N ' PALLAS - Se ^« [UNO, MERCURIE, 

AH guard him. M a c . Forth, thou prodigic of men. 


Cot. Let all the Wgg bc pull'd downc. 
Tri. His images, a a • brQkcn> Arr> AnJ ^ 

H , T . His cto"°X defcrvea naught, * 

Of tbc ooorc hones, i 0> vio j cnc c i iangc 

Let them be broke" roo.^ , Arr< ^ ^^ 
And whirlc ot mc : boun j Qn F ortuncs vv hcclc, 


Lepidus, ArRuntius. 

Ho would depend upon the popular ayrc, 
T . or voyce of men, that have too day beheld 

/That which if all the gods had forc-dcclar d, 

X^klw have been feleev'd) Sejanus Fall* 

He, that this mornc rofc proudly, as the Sunnc ? 

And, breaking through a mift of clients breath, 

Came on as gazd at, and admird, as he 

When fupcrftitious Moores falutc his light. 

That bad our fervile Nobles waiting him ' 

As common groomes j and hanging on his look, 

No lcfle than humane life on deftiny I 

That had mens knees as frequent, as the gods ; 

And faaifices, more than Rome had altars: 

And this man fall I fall ? h without a look, 

That durft appeare his friend, or lend fo much 

Of vaine rclcefe, to his cbang'd ftate, as pitty ! 

Ar. They that before like gnats playd in his beames, 
And throngd to circumfcribc bim, now not feenc! 

Nor deignc to hold a common feat with bim ! 
Others, that wayted him unto the Seuati y 

Now, inhumanely ravifh him to prifon! 
Whom (but this mornc) they follow'd as their lord, 
Guard through the ftrcets, bound like a fugitive 1 
In ftcad of wreaths, give fetters j ftrokes, for (loops: 
Blind (hame, for honours j and black taunts, for titles! 
Who would truft flippery Chance ? Lep. TUcy that would ma*e 
Thcmfclvcs her fboylc : and foolifhly forget, 
When (he doth flatter, that fhe comes to prey. 
Fortune, thou hadft no deity, if men 
Had wifcdomc: we have placed thee fo high, 
By food belicfc in thy fdidtie. 
rtmrtfe Sen. The gods guard Casar. All the gods juard C*s^ 


Macro, Reculus, Senators 

0.v great Sej^nus, you that aw'd the State, 

Tl at would Be C*sar s tutor, and difpofc * 
Ot dignities, and offices 1 that had 



The publick head (till bare to your defigncs, 

And made rhc generall voyce to eccho yours ! 

That look'd for fa lutations, twelve fcore off, 

And would liave Pyramids, yea Temples rcar'd 

To your huge greatnefle I now, you lie as fiat, 

As was your pride advanc't. Rkg\ Thanks to thc gods. 

Sen. And praife to Macro, that hath faved Rome. 
Liberty, liberty, liberty. Lead on, 
And praife to Macro, that hath faved Rome. 


Arrunt ms, Lejmdus, Terentius. 



' * 

T Prophefie, out of this 'skates flatterie, l 

■*That this new fellow, Macro, will become 
A greater prodigie in Rome, than he 
That now is faliie. Ter. O you, whofe minds are good, 
And have not fore'd all mankind, from your brefts-,' 
1 har yet have fo much (lock of vcrtue Icfr, 
To pittic guiltic States, when they are wretched ■ 
Lend your (oft cares to'-hearc, and eyes to weepe 
Deeds done by men, beyond thci&$6? l Ft<rus.i 
The eager multitude, (who never yet ; 
Knew why to love, or hare, butpnlyplc'as'd 
T cxprefle their rage of power ) no fopner heard 
The murmurc of SB Janus in decline, 
But with that fpeed, and heare of appetite, 
With which they greedily devoure the way 
To fomc great fports, or a new theatre, 
They fill'd the Capitol/, and Pompey's' Circk; 
Where, like fo many martives,'biting : (tones, 
As if his (tatucs now were fenfitive j 
Of their wildc furic, firft, they tcare them downc : 
Then faftning ropes, drag them along thc (beets, 
Crying in fcorne, this, this was that rich head 
Was ctown'd wirh garlands, and with odours, this 
That was in Rome Co reverenced. Now 
The fornacc and the bellows (hall to work 
The great Sejanus crack, and piece by piece, 
Drop i'the founders pit. Lep. O, popular rage ! 
Ter. The whillr,the the Templeof Conor el. 




Make haftc to meet againe. and thronging cry, 
Let us condemne him, tread him downe in water. 

While he doth lye upon tjje banke -, away : 
Where fome, more tardie, cry unto their bearers, 
He will be cenfur d ere we come, runne knaves, 
And ufc that furious diligence, for fearc 
1 heir bond-men mould inYormeaeainft their flacknefle 
And bring their quaking flcfli unto the hookc ; 
A he rour, they follow wirh. confuted voyce, 
drying, they' are ; glad, f., y r]ley could ne > rc ibidehini; 





nquitc. what man 

Sqanjrt _ 

r— ^ vlW c kind of face? 
1L u! r.* what ins.- r 

iq ultc, what man W w»> fg what H > protcft) 

tfat beard be had >*^ 

ever did pre lage nQf va n imt . A. s kc 

dies? what death? 

^ n,er tbouoht h in ;; vu 

After his fi«3^XW*nwfc r 
Ami nor a bttfc^aS or, who were his accufcrs? 
What *as b*Jg"£ tc(timon ic, he fell? 
Under what P' 00 ' 1 ' ) w t . i onR worded letter 

oTc TrefefieJ, no more LK,,Alas! 

Scv ollo-v fortune, and hate men condemn id, 

G Jrie,or not. Arr. But had Se, anus . ibrivd 

In his defignc, and profperou fly opprcft _ 

The old TTbeRIUS, then, in that amc minute, 

Thefc very raskals, that now rage like F*rses x 

Would have proclaimed Sejant Empcrour. 

• Lep. But what hath fol.lowd? Ter. Sentence, by the fair, 

To lofe his head : which was no fooncr oft. 

But that, and th' unfortunate trunke were feizd 

By the rude multitude 5 who not content 

With what the forward juftice of the State 

Officioufly had done, with violent rage 

Have rent it limbe from limbc. A thoufand head*, 

A thoufand hands, ten thoufand tongues, and voyecs, 

Employ' d at once in feverall ads of malice 1 

Old men not ftaid with age, virgins with fhame, 

Late wives with lofle of husbands, mothers of children* 

Loflng all gricfc in joy of , his fad fall, 

Runne quite tranfporrcd with their cruelty ! 

Thcfe mounting at his head, thefc at his face, 

Thefc digging out his eyes, thofc with his braines 

Sprinkling themfclves, their houfcs,and their friends; 

Others arc met, have rav ill i'd thence an arme, 

And deale fmall pieces of the flcfh for favovrs; 

Thefc with a thigh-, this hath cut off his hands 3 

And this his feet; thefc, fingers; and thefc, toes 5 

That hath his liver; he his heart : there wants 

Nothing but TOomc for wrath, and place for hatred! 

What cannot oft be done, is now ore-done. 

The whole, and all of what was great Sejanus, 

And next to C/Esar. did polTcuc the world, 

Now tornc, and fcattcr'd, as he needs no grave ; 

Bach little duft covers a little part : 

So lyes he nowhere, and yet often buryed I 


T E R II N 1 I U S. 

^A Ore of Si j anus? Nun. Yes. Lep. What can bec a<j< 


-•v v. ^tjdjius f rsUN. ICS. L.EP. VVIUt tan ^- . ,, 

Vvce know him dead. Nun. Then, there begin your P 1 ^ 




There is enough behind, to melt cv'n Rome y 

And CjEsar into tcarcs : (fincc never Have 

Could yet fo highly offend, but tyrannic, 

]n torturing him, would make bim worth lamenting.) 

A fonne, and daughter, to the dead Sejanus, 

( Of whom there is nor. now fo much rcmayning 

As would give fa fining to the hang-mans hook ) 

Have they drawnc forth for farder facrificc; 

Whofc rcndcrncflc of knowledge, unripe ycarcs, 

And childifh filly innocence was fuel), 

As fcarcc would lend them feeling of their danger s 

The girlc Co fimple, as ftiee often askt, 

where they would lead her I for what caufctheydragg'd he, • 
Cry'd, fhee would doe no more. That fhee could 'taie 
Warning with beating. And becaufc our lawes 

Admit no Virgin immature to die, 

The wittily, and ftrangely cruell Macro, 

Deliver'd her to be deflowr'd, and fpoyl'd, 

By the rude luft of the licentious hang-man, 

Then, to be ftrangled wirh her harmlcfle brother. 
Lep. O, atf, moft worthy hell, and lafting night, 

To hide it from the world! Nun. Their bodies throwne 

Into the Gemonies, ( I know not how, 

Or by what accident return'd) rhe mother, 

Th'cxpulfcd Apicata, finds them there; 

Whom when fhe faw lye fpred on the degrees, 

After a world of rurie on her {elfc, 

Tearing her hayre, defacing of her dce^ 

Beating her brefts, and wombc, kneeling amazd, 

Crying to heaven, then to them; at laft, 

Her drowned voyce gate up above her woes .' 

And with fuch black, and bitter execrations, 

( As might affright the gods, and force the Sunne 

Kunne back-ward to the Baft, nay, make the old 

Deformed Chaos rife againe, t'orc-whclme 

Them, us, and all the world) fhee fills the ayre; 

Upbraids the heavens with their partiall doomes, 

Dolus their tyrannous powers, and demands, 

What flic, and thofe poore innocents have tranfgrefs'dy 

That they muft fuffcr fuch a (hare in vengeance, 

vVhilft Livia Lygdus, and Eudemus live, 

Who, ( as fhee fayes, and firmely vowes, to prove it 

10 Caesar, and the Senate) poyfon"d Drusus ? 
Lep. Confederates with her husband? Nun. I. Lep. Stra 
Arr. And ftrangely open'd : what fay's now my monfter, 

Ane multitude? they rcclc now? doe they not? 

TK NUN ; J h r Ci \ gal ! is 8 one > and nc >w they gin to wecpe 
ine mifchiefc they have done. Arr. I thank 'hem, rogues ■ 

Num. Part are fo ftupide, or fo flexible, 
As they bclccvc him innocent; all grieve ; 


ngca£- r 


j F ( / ■ * 

- 7 "\ r rcikc with Ms wa. me blood. 

And feme, whofc h^RL jid u-arc of him, 
Wi(h bim colkaed, ana f 



ARR. I^^ftVtlw ill Pbcccl favours, 
To ">f ftSSe pt^WfttS? Fotbeare, you things 

Not to grow proud, and carelefle of the gods: 
it is an odious mfedome, to b lafphenie, 
Much more to (lighten, or dtaie then- powc . 
For, whom the N&mng faw fo great, and high, 
Tta. low, and little, 'fore the 'Even doth lye. 



A f 





A Comedy. 

Firft A<fted in the yeere i 6 05. By th 

Kings M a 1 e sties Servants. 

With the allowance of the Matter 

of Rev ells. 

The Authors./. 


Simul & jucunda, fridoncd iicerevit*. 


Printed by Richard Bishop 

M. DC. XL. 









, * 






The mod Noble and moft Equall 


The two Famous 



For their Love and Ac ceptance 

Shewn to his P o e m e in the Pre[entabion 3 




The gratefull Acknowledger 

Both It and Himfclfe. 

Ever (moft equall Sisters) bad any man awitfoprefenf* 
ly excellent^ as that it could raife it fetfe ; but then mu[l 
come both matter, occafion, commenders, aud favourers to it: 
If this be true, and that the fortune of all writers doth daily 
) prove it, it behoves the care full to provide, well, toward the fk 
accidents*, and,havingdcquirdthem, to prefenti that part 
of reputation moft tenderly, wherein the benefit of afreind 
is alfo defended. Hence it it,that Inowrender my felfe gratefully andamflu- 
dious to juftifie the bounty of your aft : to which, though your mere authority 
were fatisfying,yet, it being an age,wherein Poccrie, and the profeffors of it 
heare fo ill, on all fides, there will a reafon be look't for in the fubje& 4 It is 
certaine,nor can it ivith any fore-head be opposd,that the too-much licence of 
Voi:t2i(tQXs>inthis time, hath much deform d their Mifiris*, that, every day, 
their manifold,and manifefl ignorance, doth (lick unnaturall reproaches up- 
on her: But for their petulancy^it were an aft ofthcgreatefl injufiice, either 

P oe t , they will eafily conclude to themfelves, the impofiibility of any mans be- 
ing the gaod Poet, without firfi being a good man. He that is faidto be Mr 
bfe to informeyong-mento all ^ood disciplines, inflame growne-mcn to all great 
vcrtues ,keepc old-men in their be(l audfupreme (late, or as they decline to child- 
hood,recuver them to their firfi fircngth; that comes forth the interpreter, and 

L I 2 *rihei 


rwcrhirbntij*'" .'lL..i.... ,:i:.u„ „.,,»;,,,„.,,,•,,„ /,*.v„i' w .*9 

his teeth s I nouldaske of the]efuperciliotts^olitich,nhat nation, fodder 

oenerall order.or (late.lba'uepoiok'di what fublick ferfon I nhethtr ih. { 
& . ■ „ r r.x 'if- .sj.i..:,. ,/;„„;,.,. -, „,;«, „™„» „^rn» cr.i u i. 

not ( in ell thefe) frefe,"j'd their dignity ,xi mine owne \«fon,fafcl Mjm{\ 
/.re retd, allou>'d,(I freak of thofe that are inthely nt'tne) loolce into than 
what broad reproofs hare I usdl where have I heene particular hrbere ftrft- 

ntUl except to amimici^ cheate^lanc/,0, hh» y creatures (for their itfi. 

Uncles') worthy to be tax di Tec, to which of thefe fo point ingl) y is heetni^t 
not , either ingenuoufly have con) [efi, or wifely dijj entiled hit difeafel But im 
not rumour can make men guilty, much lefje entitle ?ne, to other mens aim. 
I know, that nothing can beefo innocently writ, or cm > \ecl, but mj lit /km 
obnoxious to conduction ; marry, whtl'jl I bearemi/^ i/n.occ>- ftj .i'o-it mtj 
fare it not. application, is now,g,owne a trade tvith many •, .i...l *few • 
thatprofefjeto haven key for the decypherin^ of every tf/ing -'. Ifjf /<"' ! *''§ ;l * 
Noble perfons take heed how the) bee too orgulous, or qivc leave l<w& * 
vsdixg interoreterr, to bee over-famtltar with their fm%cs'3i ho cunni 
of:en,utitr their oune vi, ufofl fthtiice, bhetor other mty) fjmftylrpti !■'■•£ 

As for thofe, that mi {by faults which charity hath r.ik'd up, or eW* 
nefij conccal.d) make themj ekes .» name with the muttituit > t w ( 
rude, and beafily claps) care not whofe living faces they intrench, h » f 
petuUmjiileS; may they doe it, „ „hout a rival/, ( u, me: 7 choofe 

(3 8.9 ) 

VtokpCcSyfo rack'd Metaphor s,with brothelry, able to violate the eare of a 
Pagan,and blafphemy, to turne the blood of a Chr'tft ian to water. I cannot but 
be)erious in a cattfe of this nature, wherein my fame, and the reputations of 
divers honeft, And learned are the rjueftion; when a Name, fo full of authority i 
antiquity, and all great marke, u {through their in folence) become the loweft 
fcorne of the age: and thofe men fubjeci to the petulancy of every vernaculou* 
rator, that were wont t o be the care, of Kings, and happieft Monarch* . 7 hit 
it is, that hath not only raft metoprefem indignation, bat made meeftudiout, 
heretofore ; and, by all my anions, to ft and ojf, from them : which may mo ft 
appear? in this my I atcftwortcc (which )oa,?;w(l learned ArdiTRESSes, ha^t 
feenc,jtidgd, and tomycrowne, approve!) wherein I haze labour d, for their 
infrttilion'^ and amendment^ to reduce, not only the ancient formes, but man- 
ners of the Scene, the eaft neff e, the propriety y the innocence,andlaft the doclrine^ 
which i$ the priacipall end of 'Pocfic, to informemen,in the heft reafon of li- 
ving. And though my Cataftrophe may, in theftricl rigour o/'Comick law y 
meet with cenfure, as turning bach to my promije ; / deftre the learned, and 
char it aide Critick to have jo much faith in me, to chink itr^is done ofindu- 
ftry: For, with what eafe I could have varied it, nearer his fcale (but that I 
feareto boaft my owne faculty) /could here infert. But my fpecUU ay me being 
to put thefnaffle in their mouths, that cry out, wee never puni ft) vice in our En- 
tcrludcs, &c. J tookc the more liberty ; though not without fame lines of exam- 
ple,drawne even in the Ancients themf elves, the goings out ofwhofe Comociics 
are not alwayes joyfully but oft-times, the bawds, the fervants,the rivals, yea^ 
and the mafters are multled; and fitly, it being the office of a Comick-Poct, 
to imitate juftice, and inft/uH to life,as well .is purity of language, orfttrre up 
gentle affections. To which, iftjall take the occafton clfe-wherc to fpeak. For 
the prefent (rnoft reverenced Sisters) as I have card to bee thankful! for 
your ajj'fciions paft , and here made the wnderftanding acquainted with fame 
ground of your favours ^ letmeenot defpaire their continuance, to the maturing 
of fome worthier fruits ; wherein, if mj Muses be true to mee, I ft) all raife the 
defpis'd head of 'Pocrrie againe,andftripping her out of 'thofe rotten and bafe 
rags , wherewith the Times have adulterated her forme, re ft ore her to her pri- 
mitive habit ^ feature, and majeftie, and render her worthy ro be imbraced,and 
kift,ofalttbegrext /:dmafter-{pinzs of our world. As for the vile, and floth- 
fuU, who never affefied an att, worthy of celebration, or arefo inward with their 
Oivne vicious natures, m they worthily feare her- y and think it a higb point of 
policie, to keep her in contempt with their declamatorie and windy invectives: 
fheftjal/outofjuftra^e incite her fervants (who are genus iritabile) to fpout 
inke in their faces, that fliall eat e,farder than their marrow, into their fames j 
*ndnotClNN.\M\is thebarber y wtth his artefoallbe able to take out the brandy 
but theyfhall live,andbe read^ till the wretches dye, as things worft deferring of 
tbcmfelus in chiefe % and then of all mankind. 

ttons. For, as H o r a C h makes T r 

-Sib - 

in all 

«U„™. > t ' ". ^"^'-^cjjiwwf uarnea or titer. taiouic uv.>< » ai . , 

toll r e ",°' hhi Z iut ,he t' lth or the time if utter d,AudtUt f> 

"*?"t««y of ohrafejuch plenty of ^olcecifmcs, fuch dearth of fenfij^ 







Voir uc;!' &»■ 


NoTARio ( f/;^# r " 


Cast* one,*;; &"■**• 

r o li t i q*8 Wcuu.-ait, 4 AW; 

Pl li E OR 1 N I, /r <Jt>:t.~tiAt.ulfr, 

BO'NARJ O,*J0»g Q* "A>l. 

I int. Madame W o u i d-be e, & 

A • vnfe. 
Cuia, r/v c;!^; W wife. 

CO iANDADORl, 9iP^/- 

MtRCATOKl, three Merchants. 
AndRO gyno,4 IIcrmjphr$Jtte a 

Si 8 v itort, 4 Servant. 



The principall Comedians were , 


MO H. Lowis'. 
\V 1 1. Sly. X Al k x. C o o k i • 

He N. C ONDL L. 





VoLPONEj childlejje, rich^f dines fuk > defpaires^ 

Offers his State to hopes of fever all heires^ 

L ies Unguifoingy His Parafite receaves 

Vrefents of all ^ ajj'ures ^ deludes ; Then weaves 

O ther eroJJe-plotSy which ope tkmfelves^ art told. 

N ew tricks for fafcty, are fought* they thrive Hfbeir* hold; 

E ach tempts th* other againe^ and all are fold. 

RO t O CUE. 

r « - 

Oiv, luck yet fend us, and a little writ 
Will ferve, to -make our plav hit; 
( According to the palates of the feafon ) 

Hetc is rime, not emptie of reafon: 
This vvc were bid to credit, from our Poet, 

Whofe true fcone, if you would know it, 
In all his Poemes, frill, hath bcene this meafurc, 
To mixe profit, with your pleafure ; 
And not as fome (whofe throats their envie fayling) 

Cry hoarfely, all he writes, is ray ling : 
And, when his Playes come forth, think they can flout them. 

With faying, he was a yecrc about them. 
To tbcfc there needs no lye, but this his creature, * 

Which was, two months fince, no feature ; 
And, though he dares give them five lives to mend ir > 

'Tis knownc, five weekes fully pen'd it : 
From his owne hand, without a co-adjutor, 

Novice, journey-man, or tutor. 
Yet, thus much I can give you, as a token 
Of his Playes worth/No eggs are broken; 
Nor quaking cuftards with fierce teeth affrighted 
Wherewith your rout are fo delighted $ ' 


__ r~~~~~~iT~Z\A ends reciting, 

To fto ( > gaps in I » °°;,, rouS) and fore'd aflion i 
With fuch a dcak ot no ^ ^.^ . 

As might raw « . ft ft ] ne g. om cac i, r . t blc y 

N ot made he his »>■ fi J ,„{ &blc . 

But mate ) c " s ',vi, c«mirrf«, refined, 

And, f6.PK??" ff« deligncd, 
As beft Gw* f« e f fons ' hc obrcrvct , 

■n* ""* °Sfull niTe £ fterveth. 

AjfS?, S^H*' f-m his inke, he drayneth, 

56^flS^? * ( red with latter 
Tky (lull look frefh, a ffecke after. 

A<ft i. Scene i. 


GOod morning to the day • and, next, my gold: 
Open the (brine, that I may fee my Saint. 
Haile the worlds fo.ulc, and mine! More glad than is 
The teeming earth, to fee the long'd-for Sunne 
Pecpe through the homes of the cclcfHall Ram, 
Am I, to view thy fplendor, darkning his : 
That lying here, amongft my other hoords, 
Shewft like a flame, by night ; or like the Day 
Struck out of Cbaos y when all datkneflc fled j 
Unto the Center. O, thou fonne of Sol, 
(But brighter than thy father) let me kiiTc, 
With adoration, thee, and every telique 
Of facred ticafure, in this blcfled roome. 
Well did wife Poets by thy glorious name, 
Title that Age, which they would have the beft 
Thou being the beft of things: and farre tranfeending 
All ftile of joy, in children, parents, friends, 
Or any other waking drcame on earth. 
Thy looks when they to Venus did afcribe, 
Tbcy(bould have giv'n her twentic thoufand Cupids-, 
Such are thy beauties, and our loves ! Deare Saint, 

•rt. chcs ' ^ ( * um k c go^ tn *t & iv & a11 mc " c o n S ues : • 
That canft doe naught, and yet raak'ft men doc all tbmg$; 

The price of foulcs ; even hell, with thee to boot, 
Is made worth heav'n! Thou art Vcrtue, Fame, 
Honour, and all things clfc ! Who can get thec, 
He (ball be noble, valianr, honcft, wife 

Mos. And what he will, fir. Kichcs are in fortune 
A geater good, than Wifedorac is in nature. 

Vol. I rue, my beloved Mosca. Yet, I glory 

The £ox t 


More in the cunning purchafe of my wealth; 

Than in the glad poffeffion; fincc I gainc 

No common way ; 1 ulc no trade, ho venter; 

1 wound no earth with plow-fharcs, I fat no beaftf ; 

To feed the (Tumbles ; have no mills for yron, 

Ovlc, come, or men, to grindc 'l;em into poulder ; 

1 blow no fubtill glafle; ffltpofe no (hips 

To tbreatnings of the furrow- faced ica ; ' 

1 turne no moneys, in the publick bank-, 

Nor ufure private. Mos. No, fir, nor devoure 

Soft prodigalls. You (ball ha fome will fwallow 

A melting he ire, as glibly, as your Dutch 

Will pills ofbutter, and ne're purge for'r ; 

Teare forth the father of poore families 

Out of their beds, and coffin them, alive, 

In fome kind, clafping prifon, where their bones 

May be forrh-comming, when the flefh is rotten: 

But your fwect nature doth abhorre thefe courfes; 

You loath, the .widdows, or the orphans tearcs 

Should wafl) your pavements; or their pittious cryes 

lling in your roofcs.-and beatc the ayre> for vengeance. 

Vol. Kighr, Mosca, I. doe* loartrit. Mos. And befides, fir, 
You are not like a threflier, that doth (hnd 
With a huge flaile, watching a heape of come, 
And, hungric, dares not taftc the final left grane, 
But feeds on mallowes, and fuch bitter herbs; 
Nor like the merchant, who hath fil I'd his vaults 
With Romagnia, and rich Camlian wines, 
Yet drinks the lees of Lombards vincger: 
You will not lye in draw, whilft moths, and wormes 
Feed on your lumpwous, hanging's, - and foft beds. 
You know the vie- of riches, and dare give, now, 

From that bright heape, tame, your poore^ obferver, 
Or to your dwarfc, or your hermaphrodite, 

Your eunuch, or what other houiliold-t rifle 

Your pleafure allowcs maiut'nancc.— — - Vol. Hold thee, Mosca? 

Take, of my hand; thou ihik'ft on truth, in all: 

And they are envious, terme thee parafite. 

Call forth my dwarfc, .my eunuch, and my foole, ■ 

And let 'hem make me ("port. What (hould 1 doe, 

put cocker up my gtntw^ and live free 

To all delights, my fortune calls me to? 

I have no wife, no parent, child, allic, ' 

ir° ¥T my fubftancc ro 3 b "t "born I make, 
Muft be my heire : and thrs makes men obferve me. 
ibis drawes new clients, daily,. to ray houfe, 
VVornen, and men, of every fexe, and- age, 
That bring mc prefents, fend mc plate, coyne, Jewells, 
VV ith hope, that when I die, ( which they expert 
« ach greedy minute) ie] then returne, 







_ — — - r" vV hiT{ffbrnc, covetous 

I cn-fold, upon them ^ b "fc n ' 1C) wtiokf , 

Above the reft, ftekei » c * Ac other, 
AnJ counter-work 1 on*^ ^^ « w 

ffil b A A*?" their hopes, 
Ail wuicu rovne hem into profit, 

M CuTo" thcirTndncflc, and lake more, 
And' o°ok onlt; «B bearing them in hand, 
Letting the cherry knock againft . the.r hp,, 

And, *»" '"' b y thclr mouths ' and b,1Ck "#""*• H ° lv n0w ! 

M u Scene n. 

N A n o, AndrocyNo, C a s t r o n k, 


NO», roomc,for frejbgamfters, who doe mil you to know, 
The) doe h> ing )ou neither play, nor Univcriitic fhow . 
And therefore doe intreat you, that xphatfoner they reherje, 

May not fare a whit the wor[e, for the falfe ya[t of the verfe. 
If you wonder at this, you wiB wonder more, ere wee pajje, 

For know, here if inclos'd'the Soule o/Pythagoras, 
That juggler divine, as hereafter jbaU follow 5 

which Soule (fafl, and loofe, fir-) came fir ft from Arou.o, 
And vim breath' d into jEtHALIDKS, .MercURIUS his fin ne, 

where it had the gift to remember all that ever was done. 
From thence it fed forth, and made quick tranfmigration 

To goldy-lockt Euphorbds, who was k Hid, in good fashion, 
Ai the [lege of old I roy, by the Cuckold 0/ Sparta. 

Hermot 1 mus was next ( / find it in my charta ) • 
To whom it did pajje i where no fooner it was mijiing. 

But mxh one Pyrkhus, of Dclos, it learn'dto got a fjbi*g: 
And thence, did it enter the Sophift of Greece. 

From Pythagore, free went into a beautifull pecce, 
High Aspasia, the mererrix; and the next toffe of her 

was^agame, of a whore. [hee became a, Philofopher y 
Crates the Cynick : {as it felfe doth relate it ) 

The Fox. 

But 1 come mi here, to 'difcourfe of that matter, 

Or hts one, two, or three, or his nut oath, by quatcr, 
"u "muficks. his trigon, his golden' thigh, 

O'hu nllmg how elements jb'tft : but I 
"WW aske, how of fa, thou hajl fuferd tranflation, 

And\hifted tiy coat, in thefe dayt< of reformation t 
And. Ltkc one of the reformed, 4 Foole,as jou fee, 

A J t ?*\T % \ m °*»<(°'bid meates hall thou vento 
And. On flb, n hcn fir^ , Canhufian / enter d. 




NAN. why, then thy dogmatical! filence bath left theei 

And. Of that an objlreperous Lawyer bereft me. 
jsjAN. O wonder full change i when Sir Lawyer forfook thee, 

For Pythagore's/^, what body then took theei 
A N D. A good dullmoyk. Nan. And howl by tfatt meaner ', 

%hou wert brought to allow of the, eating of beancst 
And. tes; Nan. 5a/, from the moyle, into whom did* ft thou pajje / 

And. Into a very grange beajl, by fome writers, calfd an ajje-, 
By others, a pneife, pure^ illuminate brother^ 

Ofthofe devour flejb, and fometimes one another : 
And will drop you jorth it UbcH, or a fanlkified /ir r 

Betwixt every fpoonfull of a natwiftc-pie. 
Nan. Now quit thee , far heaven, of that prophant nation^ 

And gently, report thy next tranfmigration. 
And. To the fame that I am. N an. A creature of delight I 

And (wfxtt is more than afoole) an Hermaphrodite ? 
Now 'pry thee, [weet foule> mall thy variation^ 

which body would $ tbow cboofe, to keep up thy Ration? 
And. Troth, this I am in^ even here would J tarry-. 

NAN.'C4«/«r here ^ tbe delight ofea^hfexthou t;anjt -vary ? 
And. Alas, thofe pleafures be (tale y <tnd forfaken j 

No, % tvs your foole^ wherewith I antfo taken^ 
The only one creature, that lean call llsffed: ' 

For all other formes I have provdl mo[l dijirejfed. 

Nan. Spoke true, as thou^ert i# Pythagoras jlifl. 

This learned opinion wee. celebrate wiJI, 
Fellow Eunuch (as behoves us) with all cur wity and Art^ 

To dignife that ^whereof our fehes are fo great, and fpeciall a part; 

Vol. Now very, very pretry; MoscAj this 
Was thy invention ? Mos- If ic plcafc my patron, 
Not elfc« Vol* It doth, good Mosqa* Mos. then it was, fir. 


"COols, they are the only nation 
* worth mens envy^ or admiration j 
Free from care 1 or forrow-taking, 
Selves, and others merry-making : 
All they fpeak y or doe, if fierling. 
Tour foole he u your great mans darlings 
And your ladies Cport , and plcafurs j 
Tongui,and balfe are his treafure. 
Bene his face begittetb laughter. 
And hee fpeaks truth free from fUughter^ 
/lees the grace of every feaft. 
And, fometimes the chicftft gueft: 
Hath his trencher, and his jloole % 
when wit waits upon the foole. 
O, who would not lee 
Hee, hee, hie ? 

§ t 



"/"he f"'ox. 


•Tis fignior Voltok > Vql Ferch mcc my „ own ^ 

I know him bv his WW fay, my couch 's changing: 
My furres, and mghr-c.^ y ^ 

And let himenrerr^ ^ ' c ' licnrs 

Bcginnc their vih no" f 

Raven gor^rovM'niy >J they comc . 

That rhiafc :wcc turning « . ^ ^ ? 

1 ^A* icW *J J &■ Vo,,Of what bigneflc ? Mos. H Ufitj 
Maflie, and antique, with your name infcnbd 
knd a/mes ingraven. Vol.. Good! and nota fox 
Stretcht on the earth, with fine dclufivc ^gbts 
Mockinna eapiwerow? ha, Mosca ? Mos. Sharp fir. 
Vo? Grve mcemy furres. Why doeft thou laugh fo,mm> 
Mos. I cannot cboofc, fir, when I apprehend 
What thoughts he has (without) now, as hce tvalks: 
That this might be the hft gift, he mould give -, 
That this would fetch you ; if you dyed to day, 
And gave him all,wbathrcn»ul*be too morrow ; 
What large returne would come of all his venters ; 
How hce mould vvorinip'd be, and reverene'd; 
Ride, with his furres, and foot-clothes ; w.ured on 
By herds of foolcs,and clients-, have cleere way 
Made for his moyle, as letter'd as himfelfc ; 
Be call'd the great, ard learned Advocate : 
And then concludes, there's naught impoffiblc. 

Vol. Yes, to be learned, Mosca. Mos. 0,no: rich 
Implies it. Hood an afle, with reverend purple, 
So you can hide his two ambitious earcs, 
And, hce fhall pane for a cathedrall Doctor. 
Vol. My caps, my caps, good MoscA; fetch him in. . 

Mos. Stay, fir, your oyntment for your eyes. Vol. in 
Difparch, difpatch : I long to have poffeflion 
Of my new prcfent. Mos. That, and thoufands more, 
I hope, 10 fee you lordot. Vol. Thanks, kind MoscA. 
Mos. And that, when- 1 am loft in blended duft, 

And hundred fuch as I am, in fucccffion — - - „ i ivCi 

Vol. Nay, that were too much, Mosca. Mos. YOttIM» uw » 

Still, to delude thc(c Harpyies. Vol. Loving MoscA, 

Tis well, my pillow now,and let him enter. 

Now, my faind cough., my phthifick,and my gout, 

Mv apoplcxic, palfic ,and catarthes, 

Helpc. with your forced functions, this my pofturc, 

Wherein, this three ycerc,! have milk'd thcit hopes. 

Hce comes, I hcarc him (uh> uh, uh, ub) 6. 


The Fox. 



d B 


I IT. 

Mosca, Voltore.Volponr. 

*V7"0u ftill arc, what you were, fir. Only you 
•*■ (Of all the reft) arc he, commands his love: 
And you doe wifely, to prcfervc ir, thus, 
With early vifitation, and kind notes 
Of your good meaning to him, which, I know, 
Cannot bur come moft grateful!. Patron, fir, 

Here's fignior Volt orb is come- Vol p. What fay you ? 

Mos. Sir, fignior Voltore is come, this morning;, 
To yific you. Volp. 1 thank him. Mos. And hath Bfougbi 
A piece of antique plate, bought of S. Markft, b 

With which hce here prefents you. Volp. Hce is welcome. 
Pray him, to come more often. Mos... Yes. Volt. What fayes he \ 
Mos. Hec thanks you, and defires you fee him often. 
Volp. Mosca. Mos. My patron ? Volp. Bring himnear" where is hc> 
I long to fcele his hand. Mos. The plate is here fir. 

Volt. How fare you, fir? Vol p.T thank you, fi : nior Voltore 
Where is the plate ? mine eyes are. bad. Volt. I'm forry 
To fee you ftill thus weak. Mos. That hee is not weaker 

Volp. You are too munificent. Volt. No, fir, would to heaven, 
I could as well give health to you, as that plate. 

Volp. You give, fir, what you can.' I thank you. Your love 
Hath taftc in this, and fhall not bee un-anfwer'd. 
I pray you fee mcc often. Volt. Yes, 1 fhall, fir. 

Volp. Be not farrc frommee. Mos. Doeyou'ob/crve that firs 
Volp. Harken unto mce, ftill: It wilf conccrnc you. ' " 

Mos. You arc 'a happy man, fir, know your o-ood. 

Voi.p. I cannot now lull- long .(Mos. You are his heirc, fir. 

Volt Am Ifl Voir. I feele mce going, (uh, uh, uh,uh.) 
I am iayhng to my port, (uh. uh, uh, uh?) 
And I am glad , L am lb neare my haven. 

Mos. Alas, kind gen tie man, we il, we mu ft all goe— (hcarc me 
Volt. But Mosca — Mos. Age will conquer. Volt. 'Pry thee' 
Am I inferib'd his heirc, for certame? Mos. Arc you > ' 

1 doe bcfccch you, fir, you will vouchfafe 
To write me, i'your family.. All my hopes, 
Depend upon your woifhip. I am Jo ft, 
Except the riling funne doc (hint- on mec. 

Voir. It Hull both, fhinc, and wanne thee, Mosca. Mos. fir, 
I am a man, that have nor done your love 
. All the worit offices: here I wcare your keyes 
ice all your coffers, and your caskets Iockr, ' 
Kcepe the poorc- bwcn&rie of your jewels, 
Your plare, and ihbnyes; I'm vour Reward, fir 
Husband your ; , (( ods here. Vor.i. Kut am I Vole- htfte 
Mos. W nhout a partner, (if, confirm'dthis moniing ; 

M m The 


The Fox. 

r — ^TTnd the inke fcarce dry 

The waxc is warme yet, ^.^ y> happ y s mcc ] 

Upon the parent. ^^J?Y } ^^ dc fir 

By what goodchanc^iw : m 

1 know no iccond c. uic y^ ^ / £ ^ 

Is loth to know ^j" ' courfc f lr ^at firft tookc him. 

N J°V Hc f ,rl h im fay, how bee admitf 
U oft ' r UC Si ^ofeffion,that could fpeak 

Tmthc7wcw hoarfc againc, yet a be Law; 

T r A mod quick agilitic, could turn., 
Andre-tun*-, make knots, and undoc them; 
Give forked counfcllj take provoking gold 
On cither band, and put it up : thefc men, 
Hec knew, would thrive, with their humility. 
And (for his pan) hce thought, hce fhould bee blcft 
To have his hcire of fuch a iuffcnng fpint, 
So wife, fo grave, of fo perplex d a tongue, 
And loud withall, that could not wagg, nor fcarcc 
Lie ftill, without a fee j when every word 
Your wormip but lets fall, is zceccbine ! 
jmtoksm*. Who's that ? one knocks, I would not have you fcen, fir. 

And yet — pretend you came, and went in haftcj 
He fafhion an excufe. And, gentle fir, 
When you doc come to fwim, in golden lard, 
Up to the armes, in honny, that your chin 
Is borne up ftiffe, with fatnefle of the floud, 
Think on yourvafiall; but remember mcc: 
1 ha* not tJecnc your worft of clients. Volt. Mosca 

Mos. \ A hen will you have ycur Inventory brought, fir I 
Or fee a coppy of the Will ? (anon) 
Tic bring 'hem to you, fir. Away, be gone, 
Put bufincflc i'your face. Volp. Excellent Mosca i 
Come hither, let mce kiflc thee. Mos. Keepeyou ftill)" 1 * 
Here is Corbaccio. Volp. Set the plate away, 
The vulture's gone, and the old raven's come. 




Scene i v. 

Mosca, Corbaccio, VolpoM e. 

gEtakc you, to your filence, and your fleepe •- 

brand there, and multiply. Now, (lull wee fee 
A wretch who is (indeed) more impotent, ' 
Than this can fame to be j yet hopes to hop 
Over his grave . Signior CorbaccioI 

Yo arc very welcome fir. Corp.. How do's your patron? ,„, 
Mos. Troth, as he did, fi r . no amcnds . C oRB. What? ^ 

"worfe. Corm. That's well. W»cf« 

Mos. No, fir : he is rather 

The Fox. 


my felfc 

Hi, tl l- " l,ul 'C' V.OKH. IJ1UL3 

Mos. Upon his couch, fir, newly fall'n aflccpo. 


CoRB. Do's he fleepe well? Mos. No wink, fir, all this nighr 
Nor ycfterday ; but (lumbers. Corb. Good ! Hce fhould take' 
Some counfell of Phyficians : I have brought him 
An Opiate here, from mine ownc Doctor ■ » 

Mos. Hee will not hcarc of drugs. Corb. Why? I 
Stood by, while 'twas nude; faw all th' ingredients: 
And know, it cannot but mod gently wbrkc. 
My life for his, 'tis but to make him fleepe. 

Volp. I, his laft flcep, if he would take it. Mos. Sir, 
He has no faith in phyfick. Corb .'Say you ? 'fay you ? 

Mos. Hec has no faith in phyfick: he do's think, 
Moft of your Doctors arc the greater danger, 
Andworfe difcafe, t' efcapc. I often have 
Heard him protcft, that your Phyfician 
Should never be his hcire. Corb; Not I Iiis heirc? 

Mos. Not your Phyfician,fir. Corb. O no,no, no, 
I doe not meanc it. Mos. No, fir, nor their fees 
Hee cannot brook : hce. fayes, they flay a man, 
Before they kill him. Corb. Right,I doc conceive you. 

Mos. And then, they' doc it by experiment; 
For which the law not Only doth abfolvc 'hem, 
But gives them great reward : and, he is loth ■ 
To hire his death, fo. Corb. It is true, they kill, 
With as much licence, as a Judge. Mos. Nay* mofe; 
For he but kills, fir, where the Law condcmncs,{ 
And thefe can kill him, too. Corb. I,- or mee.- 
Or any man.- How Ido's bis apoplexc ? cO .-a 

Is that ftrong on him, ftill? Mos. Moft violent. 
His fpeech is broken, and his. eyes are fcr, ■- i 

His face drawne longer, than 'twas wont —Corb. How? how ? 

Stronger, than hec was wont ? Mos. No, fir : his face 

Drawne longer than 'twas worit. Corb. O, good. Mos. His mouth 

Is ever gaping, and his eye-lids hang. Corb. Good. 

Mos. A freezing numnefle ftirlcns all his joynts, 
And makes the colour of his flefh like lead. Corb. 'Tis good. 

Mos. His pulfc beats (low, anddull. Corb. Good fymptomes, ftill. 

Mos. And from his braine — Corb. Ha? how? not from his braine? 

Mos. Ycs,fir, and front his braine— (Corb. I conceive you,sood) 

Mos. Flowes a cold fwear, with a continual! rhewme 
Forth the refolved corners of his cyds; ' 

Corb. Is'c poflible.- yet I am better, ha! 
How do's hce, with the fwimming of his head ? 

Mos. O, fir, \is paft, the Scotomj'hc now; 
Hath loft his feeling, and hath left ro fnort : 
You hardly can perceive him, that hce breaths. 

Cors Excellent, excellent, fure I fliall out-Iaft him: 
inis makes mce yongagiine, a fcorc of yeares. 

w r; l ; vas a . c ? mmin g for you, fir. Corb. Has he made bis Will? 
What has heegivn mee ? Mos. No, fir. Corb. Nothing? ha? 
Mos. Hee has not made his will, fir. Corb. Ob, oh, oh. 

M m 2 What 





Tbt Fox . 

i j- I v« tore, the lawyer, here ? 
NYhjt Own Jul Vol fpMj™ ^ w ' bcH lK( , bu£ hcatd 


. iy nta « *"*g ofyour good 

V^o ,". .00. Mo, By yo- ojvnc 

us piece or piatc. 

. I doe not know, fir. Cong. Tm? 

5 fcalc,fir. Corb. Well, 

r< \ \r\r\\.'m 


Will quire WClgq OQWl«s »w p«*« *"""' * --> mar /y> "* r - 

This is true phyfick, this your fooled medicine; 
N o wlke of Opiates, to this gnat rflUwrf. 
Co*H''Tk aurum paipafoley it mi potaMt, 

h {hall be miniftcr'd to him, in his bowle } 

Corp. I, doe, doc, doc. Mos. Mod blefled co-diall. 
This will recover him. Corb. Ycs,doc, doc, doe. (coverhim. 

Mos. I think, it were not beft, fir. Corb. What? Mos. Tore- 

Corb. O, no, no, no ; by no meanes. Mos. Why, fir, this 
Will v.otkc fomc ftrangecfted, if bee but fecle it. 

Corb. Tis true, therefore forbeare, Vic take my venter: 
Give meet againc. Mos. At k no hand; pardon mee-, 
You fhall not doe your fclfe that wrong, fir. I • 
Will fo advifc you, you (hall have it all. 

Corb. How? Mos. All, fir, 'tis your right, your oivne; no mia 
Can chime a part : 'tis yours, without a rival!, 
Decreed by deftinie. Corb. How? ho.v, good MosGA.? 

Mos. lie tell you, fir>\This flc'hee fhall recover-, 

Corb. I doc conceive you. Mos. And, on firft advantage 
Of his gain'vl fenfe, will I re-importune him 
Unto the nuking of his reftament: 1 ' 

Aad (hew him this. Corb. Good, good. Mos. 'Tis better yet. 
If you will hcarc, fir. Corb. Yes, with all my heart. 

Mos. Now, would 1 counfcllyou, make home with fpeed J 
There, frame a Will ; whereto you (hall infertbe 
My maftcr your fole hcire. Core. And disinherit 
My fonne > Mos. O, fir, the hewer:. for that colour 
2>baU nuke it much more taking. Corb. O, but colour > 
Mos. This W ill, fir, you (balk fend it unto me 

Now, when 1 come to inforcc^aa 1 will doe) 

I out cares, your watch" ' ' 

Your more than 1 

And laft, produce /WM 

A Tonne fo brave, and highly SStiafi) 
TheftreanKofvourdivStcdlo'Lri t 

Upon my maflcr and nude W my c W hcire- 

Bm, out of conference, and m au uratirude- 
Corb. He muft pronounce Z l^t ' 

hrowne yOti 

rue, t&? Mos. 'Tis true. CoRP- t,1,J \ 




Did I think on lie fore. Mos. I doe belccvc it. (nrojc$. 

Corb. Doe you not bclecve it? Mos. Yes, fir. Corb. '.'unc own 

Mos. Which when he hath done, fir-CoRB . PubliflVd mc lm hcire? 

Mos. And you fo certayne , to furvive him Corb. I. 

Mos. Being fo lufty a man — Corb. 'Tis true. Mos. Yes, fir - — 

Corb. I thought on that too. Sec, how hec Should be 
The very Organ ,to exprcflc my thoughts 1 

Mos. You have not only done your felfc a good ■■ - - 

Corb. But multiplycd icon my fonne? Mo v. 'Tis right, fir. 

Corb. Still, my invention. Mos Xaffc fir, heaven knows, 
It hath becue all my ftudy, all my care, 
(I'ccnc grow grey withall) how to worke things—— 

Corb. I. doe conceive, fwect Mosca. Mos. You arc hec, 
Fo r whom. I labour, here. Corb. I, doe, doe, doe: 
Vic ftraight about it. Mos. Rook goe with you, raven. 

Corb. I know thee honeft. Mos. You doe lie, fir — Corb. And— 

Mos. Your knowledge is no better than your cares, fir. 
. Corb. I doc not doubr, to be a father to thee. 

Mos. Nor I to gull my brother of his bleffing. 

Corb. I may ha my youth reftor'd to mee, why not ? ' 

Mos. Your worfhip is a precious affe— Corb, What fay'ftthou 

Mos. I doc defire your worfhip, to make hafte, fir. 

Core. 'Tis done, 'tis done, 1 goe. Volp. O, I fhall burft j 

Let out my fides, let out my fides— M05. Containe 

Your flux of laughter, fir : you know, this hope 
Is fuch a bait, it covers any hooke. 1' .• 

Volp. O, but thy working, and thy placing it! 
I cannot hold ; good rafcall, let mee kifle thcei 
I never knew thee, in fo rare a humour. 

Mos. Alas, fir, I but doc, as I ami taught; 
Follow your grave inftrudtions ;'give-'hem words; 
Powre oyle into their eares : and fond them hence. 

Volp. 'Tis true, 'tis true. What a rare pumfhmenc 
Is avarice, to it felfc? Mos. I, with our hclue,fir. 

Volp. So many cares, fo many maladies, 
So many feares attending on old age, 
Yea, death fo often call'd on, as no wifh 
Can be more frequent with 'hem, their limbs faint, 
Their fenfes dull, their feeing, hearing, going, 
All dead before them ; yea, their very teeth, 
Their inftraments of eating, fayling them : 
Yet this is reckon'd life! Nay, here was one, 
Is now gone home, chat wifhes to live longer/ 
Feelcs not his gout, nor palfic, faines himfelfe 
Yongcr, by fcorcs of ycarcs, flatters his 3gc, 
With confident belying it, hopes hec. may 
With charities, like £son, have- his youth reftoi 'J; 
And with thele thoughts fo battens, as if Fate 
Would be as cafily cheated on, as hec, 
And allturnes aire! Who's that there ,no.v ? .1 third ? 

M m ; Mo 



* L _> 


A ■ 

The Fox* 

— P^T^r^uTcoUcira^inc : I hc.irc his vnyec. 

Mos. Cloic, to your cw b hanr> Vou>> Dc ^ 

It i$ CoRViNO, OUMl who . s tbcrc , 

Mos. Another bout, »ir, 7 



AWw<? v« 


. • rABvi^o ! come moft wifht for! O, 

S»&£ yo«,\f yo/^it^ 

2° * Why ? what ? wherein ? Mos. the tardie hourc is come,ft. 

Co*v. Hec is not dead ? Mos. Not dead, fir, but as good; 
Hee knows no man. Corv. How (hall I doe then ? Mos. 

Corv I have brought him, here a pcarle. Mos. Perhaps, hec his 
So much remembrance left, as to know you, fir; 
Hec (till calls on you; nothing but your name 
Is in his mouth : Is your pearlc orient, fir? 

Corv. Venice was never owner ot the like. (vino. 

Volp' Signior Corvino. Mos. Harke. Volp. Signior Cor- 

Mos. Hec calls you, ftep and give it him. H'is here, fir, 
And hec has brought you a rich pearlc. Corv. How doc you, fir? 
Tell him , it doubles the twclfc Car ail. Mos. Sir, 
Hec cannor undcrftand, his hearing's gone ; 

And yet it comforts him, to fee you Corv. Say, 

I have a diamant for him, too. Mos. Bcft fhew'r, fir, 

Put it into his hand j 'tis Oily there 

Hee apprehends: he has his feeling, ycr. 

See, how hec gra fps it 1 Corv. 'Lafle, good gentleman! 

Ho;r pittifull the fight is! Mos. Tat, forget, fir. 

The weeping of an heire (hould ftill be laughter, 

Under a vifor. Corv. Why ? am I his heire? 

Mos. Sir,I am fworne, I may not (hew the Will, 
Till hee be dead : But, here has bcene CorbacCIO, 
Here has bcene Vol tore, here were others too, 
I cannot number 'hem, they were fo many, 

All gaping here for legacies; but I, 

Taking the vantage of his naming you, 

(Signior Corvino, Signior Corvino) tooke 

Paper, and pen, and inke, and there I ask'd him, 

vvnom hee would have his heire? Corvino. 

Should bee executor? Corvino. And, 

To any que (hon, hec was filent too, 

lftill interpreted the nods, hec made 



(Through wcakncfTe) for confent : and fait home tbbthcrs, 
»*rr. . N ? g ^"tlrd *h«n,but to cry, and curfc. 

Corv. O, my deare Mosca. Do's hee not perceive us ? 
Mos. No more than a blind harper. Hee knowes no mn> 

No face of f icnd nor name of any fcrvant 
Not thofe, hee hath begotten, or brought up 


The Fox. 



Can hee remember. Corv. Has hec children? Mos. Baftad>, 

Some dozen, or more, that hee begot on beggers 

Gypfeys y and I ewes ^ and black- Moores, when hec was drunk. 

Knew you not that, fir ? 'Tis the common fable. 

The dwarfc, the foolc, the Eunuch arc all his; 

H'is the true father of his Family, 

In all, favc mcc: but hec has giv'n 'hem nothing. 

Corv. 1 hat's well, that's well. Art fure hec does notheare us? 

Mos. Sure, fir? why, looke you, credit your ownc fenfe. 
The pox approach, and adde to your difeafes, 
If it would fend you hence the lboncT, fir. 
For, your incontinence, it hath deferv'd it 
Throughly , and throughly, and the plague to boot. 
(You may come nccre, fir) would you would once clo(e 
Thofe filthy eyes of yours, that flow with flimc, 
Like two frog-pits ; and thofe fame hanging checks, 
Covcr'd with hide, in Head of skin •* (nay, help, fir) 
That looke like frozen dim-clouts, let on end. 

Corv. Or,likc an old fmoak'd wall, on which the rainc 
Ran downe in ftrcaks. Mos. Excellent, fir, fpeak out; 
You may be Iowder yets a culvering, 

Difchargcd in his care, would hardly bore it. 

Corv. Hisnofe is likcacommon fhewre, ftill running. 

Mos. Tis good! and, what his mouth ? Corv. A very draught. 

Mos. O, ftop it up— Corv. By no meanes. Mos. 'Pray you let me. 
Faith, I could ftifle him, rarely, vyith a pillow, 
As well, as any woman, that fhould keep him. 

Corv. Doc as you will, but ITc be gone. Mos. Be fo; 
It is your pretence makes him laft fo long. 

Corv. I pray you, ufe no violence. Mos. No, fir ? why ? 
Why fhould you bee thus fcrupulous ? 'pray you, fir. 

Corv. Nay, at your difcrction. Mos . Well, good fir, begone. 

Corv. 1 will not trouble him now, to take my pearlc? 

Mos. Puh, nor your diamant. What a neediefle care 
Is this ahMifts you ? Is not all here, yours ? 

Am not I here? whom you have made? your creature? 
That owe my being to you ? Corv. Gratefull Mosca ! 
Thou art my friend, my fellow, my companion, 
My partner, and fhalt (hare in all my fortunes. (wife, fir. 

Mos. Excepting one. Corv. What's that? Mos. Your gallant 
Now, is hee gone : wee had no other meanes, 
To moot him hqnecybut this. Volp. My divine Mosca ! 
Thou haft to day out-gone thy felfc. Who's there ? 
I will be troubled with no mOrc. Prepare 
Mee mufick, dances, banquets, all delights ; 
The Turke is not more fcnduM, in his pleafures, 
Than will Volpone. Let mcc fee, a pearlc? 
A diamant? plate? cecchinest good mornings purchafey 
Why, this is better than rob churches, yet: 
Or far, by eating (once a month) a man. 


AkU '<»• 

4 oi 


ftu- " i— ■-■ i,,. na . . ivius. i i«.uthc Squire, To much. 

Some three hourcs, u h m{n] a|)d winc . th thcn _ 

Voip. Wh«'I|?^ the aerpeia« valour 

■' ■■"»■ ; "TV J°ff tl,at hey dare let loofe 

?f*« SSSil Mos. Str.this Knight 
•I bclI n-ivcs, to . ail c : politique, 

& £S ^«tewS ftiange Vs, 
S A h« t not V« the face, to be di.W 

The blazina ftarrc of /w/jf I a wench 

O' the firft yeere ! a bcautic, ripe, as harveft ! 

Whofe skin is whiter than a (wan , all over ! 

Than filver, mow, or liUics ! a foft lip, 

Would tempt you to eternitic of kiffing I 

And flefh, that raelteth, in the touch, to blood ! 

Brieht as your gold! and lovely, as your gold. 

Voi. p. Why had not I knowne this, before? Mos. Alas, iir. 
My felfe, but yefterday, difcovcr'd it. 

Volp. How might I fee her? M S. O, not pofliblc; 
Shce's kept as warily, as is your gold : 
Never docs come abroad, never takes ayre, 
But at a vvindore. All her looks are fvvecr, 
As the firft grapes, or cherries : and are watch'd 
As necrc as they arc. Volp. I muft. fee her- 
Therc is a guard, often fpies thick, upon her; 
All his whole houfhold : each of which is fet 
Upon his fellow, and have all their charge, 
When he goes out, when he comes in, examin'd. 
Volp. I will goe fee her, though but at her windore. 
Mos. In fomc difguife, then. Volp. That is true. I muIt 
Maintayne mine owne (rape, (till, the fame : wce'le thinke. 

Mos- Sir, 


I !. 



P O L 1 T I q* B WOULD-BEE, P E R E G R I N H- 

Sir, to a wife man, all the World's his foile. 
It is not Italy, nor France, nor Europe, 
That muft bound me, if my Fates call me forth. 
Yet,! proteft, it is no fait deftre 
Of feeing Countries, fhifting a religion, 
Nor any dil-aftcaion to the State 
Where I was bred (and, unto which I owe 

The fox. 

My dcarcft pfots) hath brought me out; much Idle, 
That idle, antique, ftale, grey-bcaded project ; . 
Of knowing mens minds, and manners, with Ul\?sse*: 
But, a peculiar humour of my wifes, - 

Laid for this height of tfefttt, to pbfervc, 

1 o quote, to lcarne the bnguage, and Tq forth—- 

I hope you travell/fir, with licence ? Per. Yes, 

Poi . 1 dire the fafchcr cpnverfc- How ions fir, 

Since you kh England f Per. Seven weeks. Pol. So lately ! 
You ha not becne with my lord Amhafliuour ? 

t ? BR J ^y^' Por ' ' Pra yy°^ whatIlew es,fir ) ventsourCIim.itc^ 
I heard Ialt nighr, a mod ftrangc thing sported, 

By fomc of my lords followers, and I long 

To hcarc, how Will be feconded J Per.. .What wasr, fir; 

Po l. Marry, fir, of a raven, that (hould build 
In a (hip royall of the Kings. Per. This fellow, 
Docs he gull me, trow? or is guld? your name, fir? 


Ot tyres and famions, and behaviour, ,A) 

Among the Curtizans? the Jint Udy Woulo^bee? 

Pol. Yes, fir, the Spider, a n4 tlje Dee, ofo- times, 6 

Suck from one flower., Per. Good, fit PcititibuE ..' 

1 cry you mercy ; I have heard much of vou : 

Tis true, fir, of your raven. • Pol, Om voir knowledge? >i 

Per. Yes, and your lyons whelping, in the. T.over. 

Pol. Another whelpel Per, Another,^:, , Pol. Now, heaven! 
What prodigies be thefc? .The fires at Btrmkci 
And the new ftarrc i rhefc things concurring, ftrange i I 
And full of omen ! Saw. yqu .thclb meteors? -.?. I 

Per. I did, fir. Pol: FcarcM i Pray you fir, confirmc me, - A 
Were thci e three porcpifes feene:,: above the bridge, 
Asihcy give out? Per. Six, and a fturgcqr^ fir; 

Pol. I am aftonithd! Per. Nay, fir," be not fo 5 
Uc tell you a greater prodigie, than ihefe : :.■ 

Pol. What (hould thefc things- portend! Per! Tfcs very day i 
(Let me be fare.) tha,t/ 1 put forth. from London, 
There was a whale difcover'd, (it driver, to liod 

As high as '*^«7 V th,tr Mwai^there 
(Few know how many months) 'fen the fubverfion. iiiw .j 
Of the stode-vimii . JtoUi U% poflrble ? Befeeve it, 

Twas cither font from Spai*e x Qi:tbB'^rek.tMnJ 

ii'iNoLA s whale, upon my Hfe/jji? credit i 

Will they nor leave rhefe pjojcrtfc?; Worthy fit 

Some othe, mores. Per. Faith, S^cone, the f 9 ole,isdc^ 5 

And they doe lacka t^nc-foc^ixtrcmciy: 

Ynu \' I u" SlONH dcatjl Per - He' S :deacl, firywhv? I hope 
1 ou thought him not irproort^? O, this Krri«hr 
( Were he well knowne ) would be, a precious- 3i jnp 



4- of 

The fox. 

in a „„ . He that fhould write 
To fit our Enghlb ftagc . n 
But fucli a fellow, 0,ouia o be : tr, ^ Stqne dcad , 
Extrcnxlv, if not i mail j fr apprehend it? 

He was no *■£■££&■ an unknownc foole. . 

Wdl! : ^jKfS£S^I%it fitomMi Pol. I did fo. Sir, 

Per. inuccu, ... • - --- 

H * has rccciv'd weekly intelligence. 
Upon my knowledge, out of the Low Countries, 

(Wall parts of the world ) in cabages • 
And thofc difpens'd againc, to AmbaiTadours, 
In oranges, musk-melons, apricotcs 

Limons, pome-citrons, and fuch like: fometimes, 
Jn Ce/rfo/rVr.oyfters, and your S<//*j-cockles. 

Per. You make me wonder! Pol. Sir, upon my knowledge. 
Nay, 1 have obferv'd him, at your publick Ordinary, 
Take his advertifment, from a traveller 
( A conccal'd States-man ) in a trencher of meat 5 
And, inftamly, before the mealc was done, 
Convey an anfwer in a tooth-pick. Per. Strange! 
How could this be, fir? Pol. Why, the meat was cut. 
So like his cbara&cr, and fo laid, as he 
Mult eafily rcade the cypher. Per. I have heard, 
He could not rcade, fir. Pol. So 'twas given our, 
( In politic) by thofc, that did imploy him: 
But he could rcade, and had your languages, 

And to't, as found a noddle Per. I have heard, fir, 

That your Labioum were fpics ; arid that they were 
A kind of fubtlc nation, neere to China. 

Pol. I, I, your Mamulucbi. Faith, they had 
Their hand in a French plot, or two 3 but they 

Were fo extremely given to women, as 

They made difcovery of all : yet I 

Had my adv ices here ( oh wenfday laft ) 

Fioro one of their ownc coat, they were rcturn'd, 

Made their relations ( as the fefoion is ) 

And now ft a nd fairc, for frefh imploy menr. PER. 'Hart! 

lilt P °r ■ WiH bc 'V™* ofWhitig. ' 
I fe r> y ° U ^ ft!l ? **i . N ot all, fir. 

w rt 1 rotions J l<tee love 
To note, and to obferve : though I live our 
Free from the aftivc terrenr, y?t KE535 
The currents, and the paOages of tlnn^, .. 
Z7* ; v 7f lVatcufc ' andkMc ebbs, 

Per caftfpg me thus luc^ly^^ « | 

The Fox, 



Whofe knowledge (if your bountic equall it) 
May doc mc great affiitancc, in inftruftion 
For my behaviour, and my bearing, which 1 

Is yet 10 rude, and raw Pol. Why? came you forth 

Emptic of rules, for travaile ? Per. Faith, I had 
Some common ones, from out that vulgar grammar, 
Which he, that cry'd Italian to me, taught mc. 

Pol. Why, this it is, that fpoylcs all our brave bloods, 
Trufting our hope full Gentric unto pedants, 
Fellowcs of out-fide, and meerc barkc. You fecme 
To bc a gentleman, of ingenuous race-- 
I nor profefle ir, but my fate hath beene 
To bc, where I have beene confiiltcd with, 
In this high kind, touching fome great mens fonns, 
Pcrfons of blood, and honour Per. Who be thefe, fit? 

Act 1 1. Scene 1 1, 

M o s c a, Politique, Peregrine, 
Volpone, Nan o, Greg e. 

Nder that windote, there 't muft be. The fame. 
Pol. Fellowcs, to mountabanke ! Did your inftruder 
In the deare tongues, never difcourle to you 
Of the Italian mountebanks? Per. Yes, fir. Pol. Why, 
Here fhall you fee one. Per. They arc quack-falvcrs, 
Fellowcs, that live by venting oylcs, and drugs? 

Pol. Was that the character he gave you of them ? 

Per. As I remember. Pol. Pittie his ignorance. 
They are the only-knowing men of Europe ! 
Grcar general/ Schollers, excellent Phyfitians, 
Moft admir'd States-men, profeft Favourites, 
And cabinet-Counfellors, to the grcatcft Princes ! 
The only languag'd-mcn, of all the world ! 

Per. And, I have heard, they are moft lewd Impoflors; 
M. de all of termes, and fhreds; no lcflfe belyers 
Of great-mens favours, than their owne vile med'eines; 
Which they will utter, upon monftrous oaths: 
Selling that drug, for two pence, ere they part, 
Which they have valu'd at twelve crownes, before. 

Pol. Sir, Calumnies arc anfwcr'd bed: with filence : 
Your felfe fhall judge. Who is it mounts, my friends? 
< Mos. Scoto of Mantua^v, Pol. Is't he? nay, then 
Flc proudly promife, fir, you fhall behold 
Another man, than has bcenc phant'fied to you. 
I wonder, yer, that he diould mount his bank 
Here, in this nook, that has beene wont t' appc.irc 
In face of the Piazza I Here, he comes. 

Volp. Mount, Zu£. G re. Follow, follow, foIJo.v, follow, follow. 

Pol. See how the people follow him! bee's a nun 
May write k*ooo crownes, in bank, here. Note. 

>^ e 


rhe i*ox . 

The fox. 


rjm Scono M xN ''%; flj^ *f//v Portico, « *• pmcuraiia.U 

&rMni*B^'' 9 lt0t „ ,hu nitrous *w Venice) U 

*» (A«'ft^ZoLre nooke of the pW I 

,.,,,„ ,;;; /^, ^" *■ objc ft rhfi fame ? PER'. Peer, fir. 
n^f Did not 1, now, uuj „„,u ir ,i , )/n1 ,,/, r-;,M ..,, 

L.l v .;„. rtotel howrue) I cannot uuhuetofeethtn 

(MC the t, uib known) we) veere tw «- my~»&»»r'* '- V -' . 
VthTmt bread, *»d drin^aur * * Mlfome ptosM (ojoyUtbml) 

their Connors) for bafe pilferies. 

Pol. Note but his bearing, and contemp of rhefe. 
VOLT. Tbefe turdyf^y-na^patyloHfyfarttcaU rogues with one fm 

lroZ.,orthof un-prepard l &^M ™?< «?'* Wfift 
cios are die, very well, to kill their twenty a weekend?!.* ■ jA theft mm 

\Z, Int not the, fa^oUr? among your SrMd f»g g-g 
>rfo are tier joy' J, that they m^ have their halfc-perth of £*#*, ibufi * 
purge 'hem into another world, 't makes no matter. 

Pol. Excellent! ha' you heard better language, fir? 


ot nothing to fell. 

Pol. ' I told you, fir, his cr.d. Pe r . You did fo," fir. .^ 

Volp. / prote(l , /, and my fixferiants, are not ableto vu<e of m V f . 
qwjoftfl^ as it is fetch' d away horn my lodging hy gentlemen W $ 
jlrangers of the terra-fcrma • worjhipfull merchants ; I, and ! e/>atof , it j. 
verfincemyarr,ij!!J>azedetainedme to their ufesfy their frl™ 1 " -^ 

■.what avails jour rich man to have h:> IMP . ^ 

<"*' c araie,;incc were if no enjoying wif worm, intvvi" *«** • 
ringof 'your purfes Jwnoratle gentlemen y is to abridge ihe) i.rarw* ■ 

Per. You fee his end? Poj . I, is'c not good? . , W 

Vo r, when a humidcf.uxe, or catarrhe, by the mtM»'j ' J 

from ^our heal^ into an si me ) or \houlder ,or any other part -, M*y « 

^;o^cccchineo/^o/^^; ( /.// T /;/6 r/.n-v .»; edt {***&& 


^4« wor^r. M, *o, 'rtc f inr £/(//W unguento,^«f rare extra8ion y that hato~oaly 
power to differ fe all malignant humours, that proceed, either ofhot^cold^ moyfl, 
or windy caufes ■ 

Per. I would he had put in dry to. Pol. 'Pray you, obfervc. 
Vol p. Tofortifie the moft indigefl,'and crude flomack, I, were it of one that 
( through extreme weaknefje ) vomited blood, applying only a war me napkin to 
the place, after the unciion, andfricace; for the vcrtiginc,in the head, putting 
but a drop into your noflrils, likewife, behind the eares ■ a mofl foveraigne, and 
approved remedy, the mal-caduco, cramps, convulfions, paralyfies, epilepfies, 
tremor-cordia , retyred-nerves , ill vapours of the fpleene 7 (loppings of the 
liver, the jlone, the flrangury, hernia ventofa, iliaca paffio; flopsadyC- 
cnteria, immediately-, eafeth the torfion of the fmall guts j and cures me- 
lancholia hypocondriaca A '"& taleen * nd m applyed^according to my printed re- 
ceipt. Tor, Wis is thephyfitian, this the medicine j thit counfells, this cures ; this Vimihg to t ». 
aives the direhlion, this works the effect : and( in furnme) both together may be Utitmdtlt 
termd an abftraU of the theorich^, andpraQick in the jEfculapian Art . ' Twill *■''&' 
cofi you eight crownes. And, £an Frit ad a, fry theefmg averfe, extem- 
pore, in honour of it. 

Pol. How doe you like him, fir? Per. Moft ftrangely, I ,' 

Pol. Is roc his language rare* Per. But Alchimy, 
I never heard the like : or Broughtons books. 

Son g. 

Hjideld Hippocrates, or Galen, 
(Tbdt to their hooks vut medicines til it 
But Icnovne this fecret, they had never 
( Of which the) will be guilty ever ) 
Betne murderers offo much ptper^ 
Or wafted many a hurtlejje taper: 
No Indian drug had ere beent famed^ 
Tabacco, faflafras not named; 
Neyct) of guacum one fmall ftick^ fir^ 

Nor Raymund Lullies great eiixir. 

Ne 7 had beene knowne the Danifh Gomswart; 

Or Paracelsus, mth bis loug-fword. 

Per. All this, ycr, will not doc ; eight crownes ishigh. 
Volp. Nomore. Gentlemen^if I had but ttme to difcourfe to you the miracu- 
lous effeHs of this my oyle, furnamed oglio dclScoTO; with the count-lcjjt 
catalogue ofthofe I have cured of th' ajorefaid^and many more difeafes ; the pat- 
ients andprhiledges ofaU the Princc$ y and Common-wealths of Chrifttndome* 
or but the difpofitions ofthofe that appear* d on my fart, before the figniory of the! 
Sanira,4#</ mofl learned Colledge ofPhyfttians • where f was authorized^ upon 
notice taken of the admirable vert ue$ of my medicaments, and mine owne excel- 
lency, in matter ofrare^and unknowne fecrits, not only to difperfe them pub- 
iitjuely in this famous City, but in all the territories, that happily joy uader the 
government of the moft pions and magnificent States of Italy. ' But may fc»* 
other gallant fellow fay, O , there be divers, that make profejshn to Zu ye fgood, 
and as experimented receipts, as yours : Indeed, very many haveapy^ 
apes in imitation of that, which is really and ejjentialli in me, t» make of this 
qlci&eftwd great colt in furnsccsM^ 


+ 10 


fimbria ftoitfixl . d>-e<((, ^ 

in ez 

I wfe 

HJbaS'oO, '/ i"tve^eene *. M) hooka and am mtfffcBmtoift&jjfe 

• - | n afford vou, tir, that is his\iyme. 

' -axnrkcl is pr/Cc • « »V /$e Ira Mxtefie, / 'knmjfinea 
me : take iC,or leave byBbtpfoevifiyl oi l> si , <w/ /,<*»; a: I wr ^wife. fM 

v ,.r. \- 1 .: ' of lUetbiu^ for then l\honld deriitb:dof)ou a iboufui 

othei . .:!< tAo&ThLTO)VEKiipsk,the great Duke ofTtfct- 

ny^rnygoj^ipjpitb dizers other P i inces have yven m ■••• but I defpifemoaej:td) 
tofbe&m) affection to)oujjohoyr.iile gent/a. , an-i j B hMJ&flrim Stdtehm, 
I haze negleSed the mejj'a o' the'fe Pri> , wine^Vt offecs, ftemi w) 
jour/ie) •, ml) to frefefUpuwith ibeffuits ofmjt> Avcih. Trine your vtj. 

ces once more to the touch ofjoct, f/tjtfyfo < , andgii e the honvtrdk aj}n 
fome delight full recreation. 

Per. What monnrous,- and mo(' tincfull circiimftithcc 
Is here, to get fome three, or fourr %* • .' 

Some three-pence, i'th whole, for tli.Vt 'twill come ro. 


S O N Q . 

^Ou tkat'.uould tajl /»*£> 1,(1 to m 

1 Malccno m,c co)ieJ.Ht ! Lu) oj I Vjlf. 
would you. fa ei ■-, , , : ,- , ,< iin d )0#g ! 
k of teeth, i and (In,, . of tongue i 

Sharp of ftgbt i. ofttofiim cka, e < 

• ■ . Moifi of handled li«kt vf.foot t*>:v S ^- 
( Or J uill < m {(f - r ) 

VWtyVfJk frthi rail Jifeafc< 

Doc the a^you, ,„ ni/;s ^ es . 

]' v.yedr boncil 

J ta rneda^r. i/,4'. *•„*«. 

V olp. Well ^ i aminahiiitibu: / ... »L*m fa* **j.»»*l,»h 

/4*« ocrefore nor* markt 

ke/ l<*J>fivepar4m 

w *,«'" three, mY two,™? 



loujbatf , t ot qive nit ftkWMU noT \Um 
■ e ■ nor bMa drect-at-no. nor .: niUCC" 6 

AT't*/c/^ / win Yi'uc t* it iitiic r ememvt &r*(-v uj juwcirjwv c/cjtctCy try*** ['*c*jC it 

better ^ than if l had prefc/ztcd it with a double pijlolet. 

PiiR. Will you be that hcroiquc iparkc, fir Por. ? 

O, fee! the vrindorc has prevented you. Criia u • 

VoLp. Latly^I Lijje jour bountie : and, for this timely grace, you have done »m4**i *** 
jourpoore Scoto a/fMantua, I mILreturnc you, over and above my oyle y a twdl 
feeret y of that higky and ineWimablc nature, fball make you for ever enamou/d 
on that minute, wherein your eye jirjl defended on fo meane ( yet not altogether 
to be defpis'd ) an object . Here is a poulder, conceald in this paper, of which iff 
jjjouldfpcah to the worth, nine thou fan A volumes were but as one page^ that page 
as a line, that line as arvord :Jo fbort is this pilgrimage of man (which fome call 
life) to the exprcjsing of it . Would I rejlecl on the price* why, the whole world 
were but as an Empire,that Empire as a Province,that Province as a bank,that 
ban ,:s a private puyfe, to the purchafc of it. I will only tell you^ ft is the 
poulder, that made Venus a geddejje (given her by Apollo ) that kept her 
perpetually yon^ clear' d her wri neks, firm d-h&r gummes,\ill'd her skin,colourd 
her hayre*, from her,derivd to Helen, and at thefack of Troy (unfortunate- 
h) M}' till now,inthit our age^tt was as happily recover 7/, by a ft adieus Ant i- 
quarie, out of fome mines of Ada, w1)0 lent a woyetie of it, to the Court of 
France (but mucbfophijlicated) wherewith the ladies there, now colour their 
hayre. The reft ( at tins pre[enf)remain& mth me ; extrnfted, to a quint -[fence i 
fo that, where ever it but touches^ in youth it perpetually preferves, in age reft ores 
the complexion $ feat's jouy teeth, did they da>jce like virginall jacks, firme as a 
wall' makes them white, as ivory , that were black. As * ■ ■ ■» 


Act 1 1. Scene ill 

C o n v i n o, V o l i t i c K u r, Peregrine. 

QPight o' the dcvill, and my fhame! come downe, here; 
u Come downc : no houfe but mine to make youi feene ? 
Signior Fi.aminio, will you downc, fir? downe? 
What is my wife your Fr anciscina? fir? 
No windores on the whole Piazza^ here, 

To make your properties, but mine ? but mine ? 

Hare ! ere 10 morrow, I fhall be new chriftcn'd, 

And cald ihc Pant alone DiBesooniosi, 

About the townc. Per. What fliould this meane, fir Pol i 

Pol. Some trick of State, belecvc it. I will home. 

Per. It may be fome- dcfignc,on you. Pol. I know nor. 
I lc ftand upon my guard. Per. Tis your beft, fir. 

Pol. This three weeks, all my advifes, all my letter, 
They have becne intcrceprea!. Per. Indeed, fir? 
Beft have a care. Pol. Nay, fo I will. Per. This Kniglir. 
1 may not lofc him, for my mirth, rill nighr. 

N n i 


The Fox. 

i v. 

y o i p° N *> 

Mo s c a. 


I am 

umindrJ. Mos. Where, fir? Vol. Not without. 

_ Tho" 8S** nothing , I could beare them ever. °*' 

But anny Cupid, bolting from her eyes 

Hatl iS himfclfe into me, like a Hamc j 

W r no,, he ni.,gs about his burning hear, 

As in a fornace, fome ambitious fire, . 

Whofc vent is ftopt. The fight is al within mc 

I cannot live, except thou hclpc me Mosca 5 

My liver melts, and I, without the hope 

Of fome foft ayrc, from her rcfre (lung breath, 
Am but a heape of cinders. Mos. 'Lane, good fir, 
Would you had never fcenc her. Volp. Nay, would thou 

Hadft never rold rnc of her. Mos. Sir, 'tis true; 

1 doc confefi, 1 was unfortunate, • 

And you unhappy : but l'am bound in confcicnce, 

No lcflc than duty, to effecl my bed 

To yourreleafc of torment, and I will, fir. 

Volp. Deare Mosca, (hall 1 hope? Mos. Sir, mote thin dure, 

I will not bid you to defpairc of ought, 

Within a humane compafle. Volp. O, there fpoke 

My better Angel). MoscA,take my keyes, 

Gold, plate, and Jewells, all's at thy devotion; 

Employ them, how thou wilt; nay, coync me, too :, 

So thou, in this, but crowne my longings. Mosca ? 
Mos. life but your patience. Voi.p.'Solhavc. M o s . I doubt not 

To bring fuccefle to your defircs. Volp. Nay, then, 

I not repent me of my late dif^uifc. 
Mos. If you can home him, fir, you need not. Volp. True: 

Befides, 1 never meant him for my hcirc. 

Is not the colour o' my beard, and cyc-brows, 

To make meknowne? Mos. No jot. Volp. I did it well. 

M°s. So well, would I could follow you in mine, 
With halfc the happinclTc ; and, yet, I would 
tfcape your Epilogs. Volp. Bur, were they guild 
With a belcife, that I was Scoto ? Mos . Sir, 
bcoro himfclfe could hardly have diftinsuidul / 

1 nave not time to flatter yo» n«... m? <■ • 

And. as 1 nmnVr c^ * n ~u.. 


M u. Scene v. 

Corvino, Celia, Se 


J}Eath Of mine honour, with the Cities foole? 
A juggling, tooth-drawing, pr , ting mountebank? 

The Fox, 




And, at apublickwindorc? where whilfl he, 

With his ftraind a&iop, and his dole of faces, 

To his drug-le&urc drawes your itching cares, 

A crew of old, un-marri'd, noted lechers, . 

Stood leering up, likcj Satyes*. and you lmilfc, 

Moft gracioufly ! and Tan your favours fdrc'fc, 

To give your .hot fpc.fotOrs fafisfaction ! 

What, was your mountebank their call? their whittle > 

Or were you' enaraour'd. on lu>£opper rings > • 

His faffron Jewell, with the toade->ftonc in't? 1 

Or his imbroydcred fute, with*hCi cope- (lire b, 

Made of a hcrfc-cloth ?>or his old tilt-feather? 

Or his ftarch'd beard? welt! you ihall have him, yes. 

He (hall come home? ami mini ftcr unto you 

The fricace for the moothcr. j Or,' Jet mc fee,- 1 

I think, you'had rather mount?, would, you not mount ? 

Why, if you'le mount, you may ^ yes trucly, you may : 

/•nd fo, you maybe leene,'foot. 

Get you a cittcrnc, lady r^/V/V, 

And be a dealer, with the vercuous man ; 

Make one: 1'lc but protcft: my fclfc a cuckold, 

And fave your downc. I am a Dutchman, 11 

Tor, if you thought mc an Italian, 

You would be damn'd," ere you did this, you whore : 

Thou'Idft tremble, to imagine, that the murder 

Of father, mother, brother, all thy race, 

Should follow, as the fubjett of my jufticc i 

Cel. Good Or; have patience! Corv. What couldft rhoapropofe 
Lefic to thy fclfc,, than iu this hear of wrath, 
And (lung with my,djftjonour,-T.fhould ftrike 
This ftcele- into trjee^with as many (labs, i 
As thou wert gaz'd upon with goatifli eyes ? 

Cf.l: Made fir, tpg appeal ! T could riot think 
My being at the windore fhould more, now, 
Move your impatience, than at other times* 

Corv- No? apt f t©/ feekcj and entertainc a parlec, 
With a knowne knave ? before a multitude ? 
You were an actor, with your handkerchiefe 1 
Which he, moft fwectly, kid in the receipt, 
And might ( no doubt ) rcturnc it, with a letter, 
And point the place, where you 'might meet: your fiftcrs, 
Your mothers, or your aunts might fervc the turne. 

Cel. Why, deare fir, when doc I make thefc occufcs> 
Or ever (lirre abroad, but to the Church ? 

And that, fo feldome Corv. Well, it (hall be leflej 

And thy reflrainr, before, was libcrtic, 
jo what I now decree : and therefore, markc mc. 
Hrfl, I will have this bawdy light dam'd up ; 
And till 't be done, fome two, or three yards off • 
1 1c elulkc a line : ore which, if thou but chance 

N n 3 To 


The Fox. 

. , . , *TT. , m0r c hell, more horror, 

To let thy aefp rate foot % t*u >. /£ ^ 

Mote wide «wflA «g ' ^tfi left 
Than on a Con )U tct, th t w ^ 
His circles lafcty ct e to * ha thee 

Then here* « lod, wh ten . b^ ^^^ 

^ nd, ,T„l fl U be back-wards » thy vralks back-wards , 
Thy lodging a I Dc k . lvlrd$ ind no pIcarurC) 

Thatfitu know but backwards: Nay, fince you fotce 

1 I I 

MV honcft nature, know, it is your owne 
Sing too open, nukes me ufe you thus. 
Since you will not containc your fubtlc noftrils 
In a fvveet roome, but they muft (fauffe the ayre 

„!»»* Of rank, and fweatic PN»— ^ noclu ' 
Away, aud be not fcene, name of thy lite 5 

Not look toward the windore : if thou doit- 

( Nay ftay, heare this ) let me not profper, whore, 

But I will make thee an anatomy, • 

DilTca thee mine owne fclfc, and read a lc&urc 



. I 


Upon thee, to the City, and in publick. 
Away. Who's there ? Ser. 'Tis fignior 



1 1 • 

Scene vi. 

Corvino, Mosca. 

T Et him come in, his maftet's dead : There's yet 
■^Some good, to hclpc the bad. My Mosca, welcome* 
I ghefle your newes. Mos. I feare you cannot, fir. 
Corv. Is't not his death? Mos. Rather the contraric 
Cokv. Nothis rccoveric? Mos. Ycs,(ir. Corv. I am curs'd, 
I am bewirch'd, my crones meet to vex me. . 

How? how? how? how? Mos. Why, fir, with ScoTo'soylo 
Coreaccio, and Voltore brought of it, 

Whilft I was bufie in an inner roome 

Corv. Death 1 that damn'd mountebank ! but, for tncl»*> 

Now, I could kill the rafcall : 't cannot be, 

His oyle mould have that vertuc. Ha' not I 

Knoune him a common rogue, come fidling in 

To th Oflcrta, with a tumbling whore, 

And, when he lias done all his fore'd tricks, bcene glad 

Of a poorc fpoonefull of dead wine, with flyes in't ? 

It cannot be. AH his ingredients 

Some few fod earewigs, pounded caterpillers, 
A little capons g rea£, and fafting fpittle 1 

RnrT hcm ? [ V d:2m ' Mos. 1 know nor, fir, 
But fomc onr, there they powr'd into his earet, 
Som c m hl$ ^ ^ ^ him 

Applying but the fricacc. Corv. Pox o' that fricace. 

The Fox. 






' \ 1 





Mos. And fince, to fceme the more officious, 
And flatt'ring of his hcakh, there, they have had 
( At extreme fees) the Colledge of Phyficians 
Confulting on him, how they might rcftorehim j 
Where, one would haven Cataplafme of fpiccs, 
Another, a flavd ape clapt to his breft, 
A third would ha' it a dogge, a fourth an oyle 
With wilde cats skinns : at laft, they all rcfblv'd 
That, to prefcrve him, was no other meanest 
But fomc young woman muft be ftraight fought out, 
Luftie, and full of juice, to fleep by him-, 
And, to this fcrvice (moft unhappily, 
And moft unwillingly) am I now irnployd, 
Which here, I thought to pre-dequaint you with, 
For your advice, fince it conccrnes you moft, 
Bccaufe, I would not doe that thing might erode 
Your ends, on whom I have my whole dependance, fir 
Yet, if I doc it nor, they may delate 
My flackneuc to my patron* work me out 
Of his opinion- and there, all your hopes, . 

Venters, or whatfoever, are all fruftratc. 

1 doe but tell you, fir. Bcfides,tbey are all' 

Now driving, who fliall firft'prefenrihira. Therefore 

I could intreat you, briefly, conclude fomc-what : 

Prevent 'hem if you can. Corv. -.Death- cd my "hop 

This is my villanous fortune! Beft'tohire 

Some common currczan? . Mosv I, I thought on that, fir. . 

But they arc all Co fubrle, full of arte, 

And age againe doting, and flexible, , \ 

So as 1 cannot tell we may perchance 

Light on a qucanc, may cheat us all. Corv. 'Tis true. 

Mos. No, no : it muft be one, that has no tricks, fir' 
Some fimple thing, a creature, made unto it 5 ' 

Some wench you may command. • Ha kinfwoman? 
Gods fo— Think, think, think, think, think, think, think, fir. 
One o'the Do&ors offer d there, his daughter. 

Corv. Howl Mos. Yes, fignior Lupo, the Phyfician. 

Corv. His daughter? Mos. And a virgin, fir. Why? Alafc, 
He knowes the ftatc of s body, what it is j 
That nought can warme his blood, fir, but a fever- 
Nor any incanration rayfc his fpirit: 
A long forgetfulncfle hath feiz'd that part, 
Bcfidcs, fir, who fhall know it } fomc one, or two 

r ??¥'a !, PfV ^^ g^e me leave. If any man 
But I had had this luck— The thing in t fclfe, I 

I know, is nothing— Wherefore mould not 1 
As well command my blood, and my affedions 
As this dull Doftor? In the point of Honour/ 
The cafes are all one, of w i( Cl and daughter. 
Mos. 1 licarc him comming. Corv. Shee fhaJIdoct :' Tis done. 


+ '* 



The Ft* ■ 

So deeply i» ^^^^"S 


M s 
Shall be mine 

ly i„ m mil f«V" ; demmm'd. d 

" u CtC ft »Co^ Welt make all Cure. . Ekp pan* yo u , OCof 

Shall be mine o* . > > fcU , u } 

( But that I would nor •BBDC ^ 

i tokl l«SSSSJto3BR^ aU ■* throat, 

WhyJnsJircaiy w ^ ro ^ lct .fen' g0c . 

Ed hS *j5ri . vCbenc done,belorc, 
But for vourfcrnpulousdoubts. Co,nv. I,aplaguc onr. 
My on&e fo P wit. Well 1 e be bncfe, 
And fo be thou,lcft.thW toild b< before us :1 
Goc home, prepare him, rell hm V wuh what *Hc, 

And williner,c(fc, I doc it; i«ca« it was, 

On the fitlf hearing ( as thou maift doc, trucly ) 

Mine owne ftee mlnon. Mos. ^IWtaaffl vou, 

Tie fo poflcfle him with it; that the reft 

Of his ftarv* clients .(batt he taniihr, all* - 

And only you rcccivd; But como'nfr. fit,. 

Untill I fend, for I faavc.fome-tbJhR.dfe ; > 

To ripen, for your good ( you muft. fittt. know) 
Corv. But doe not 'you ibrgd to lend, now. Mos.-Fcarenor. 

AB i.i. Scene v u. 

Here arc you, wjfc* my Shut A ? wife? what, blubbering. 

Comc>drye thofc.tcares. I think, thou thought ft me m caroeic . 
Ha? by.tbh light, 1 ralk'd fo but to trie 
Me thinks, the lightncfle of the occafion 
Should ha' .confirm' d thee. > Come, 1 am not jealous. 

Crl. >}o? Cottv. Faith, I am nor, I, nor never wa* 
It is a poore, unprofitable humour. 
Doe not 1 know, if women haic a VVilL 


nnu ice, iic give thee cauic too, tobelcevc it. 
Come, kiflcmc. Goc, ;uU make thec re.Mv iiraighr, 
In all thy bed attire, thy choyedt Jewell*, ! 
Put -hem all on and, with 'hem, Uw bed looks ; 
We arc invited to a foiemnc fcaft 

At old Vol. pone s, where it Hull apnearc 
How farrc l'am fee. from jcalounV or fc; 

The Fox. 



jcalouiie, or feare. 


A& iii. Scene u 

M o S C A. 

J Feare, I fhall begin to grow in love 
With my deare felfe, and my mod profp'rous part?. 
They doc fo fpring, and burgeon ; 1 can feele 
A whimfey i' my blood : ( I know not how ) 
Succeflc hath made mc wanton. I could skip 
Out of my skin, now, like a fubtill fnake, 
I am fo limber. O ! Your Parafire 
Is a mo ft precious rhing, dropt from above, 
Not bred 'mongft clods, and clot-poules, here on earth. 
I mufc, the myftcrie was not made a fcienccj 
It is fo liberally profeft ! almoft 
All the wife world is little elfe, in nature, 
But Parafitcs, or Sub-parafites. And, yet, 
I meanc not rhofe, that have your bare towne-arte. 
To know, who's fit to feed 'hem-, have no houfe, 
No family, no care, and therefore mould 
Tales for mens cares, to bait that ienfe 3 or get 
Kirchin-invention, and fome ftale receipts 
To pleafe the belly, and the groine; nor thofe, 
With their court-aog-tricks, that can fawne, and fleere, 
Make their revenue out of legs, and faces, 
Eccho mv-Lord, and lick away a moath : 
But your fine, elegant rafcal^ that can rile, 
And ftoop (almoft together ) like an arrowy 
Shoot through the ayre, as nimbly as a franc* 
Turne fhorr, as doth a fwallowjand be here, 
And there, and here, and yonder, ail at once 5 
Prefcnt to any humour, all occafion 5 
And change a vifbr, fwifter, than a thought.' 
This is the creature, had the arte borne with him 3 
Toiles not to learne it y but doth prac-ttfc it 
Out or mo ft excellent nature : and fuch fparks, 
Are the true Parafues, others but their Z/tni's. 

Acl 1 1 r. Scene i u 

Mosca, Bonamo. 

yUHo's this? BoNARio?old Corbaccio's fonne? 

v 1 he perfon I was bound to fceke. Faire fir, 
You arc hap'ly met. Bon. That cannot be, by thec. 

Mo s • Why, fir ? Bo n. Nay, pry thee know thy way, and lezvc me : 
I would be loath to inter-change difcourfe, 
With fuch a mate, as thou art. Mos. Courteous fir, 





— — . o oN . Not I, by heaven: 

JS< , not my Vf^\JL to hate thy bafenciTc. 

But thou thalc gwe mc _ ^^ .. ^ f j floth 

Mos. Bafcncfle? f^^? 

Sufficient argument? tiy ^^ Hcavcllj be good to mc. 
Thy meancs of ^ dl "& 0O common ^ firj 

Thef c i^»»«SSc 9 whcniWs, poorc ; 
And eas Jy fouck on a h crc 

JifeSWS 3S f* you are not, 
?ff «*£ know me, thus, proceed «n cenmrc , 
Sr m'ScW witnefle 'gamft you, t.s inhumane. 

v \\ r What? does he weepe ? the fignc is foft, and good! 
I doc repent mc, that I was o hat J. 1 1 

MosV Til true, that, Gray by ftroiig nccemtie, 
I am enfored to eatc my carefull bread . 
With too much obfequic j tis .true, befide, 
That I am faine to fpin mine owne poore raymenr, 
Out of my mcete obfervance, being not borne 
To a free fortune : but that I have done > 
Bafe offices, in rending friends a funder, 
Dividing families, betraying. -counfclls,- 

Whifpering falfc lyes, ot mining men with praifes, 
Train d theit credulitic with perjuries, 
Corrupted chaftitic, or am in ,lovc 
With mine owne tender cafe, but would not rather 
Prove the moft rugged, and Jaborious couric, 
That might redecme my prejent cftimation ; > 
Let mc here perifh, in all hope of goodneue. 
Bon. This cannot be a perforated palfion! 
I was too blame, lb to mi/lake thy nature ; 
Pr'y thee forgive mc : and fpeak our thy bus'nefle. 
Mos. Sir, it conccrnes,you; and though! may fceme, 

Ac firtr, to make a raaine offence, in manners, 

And in my gratitude, unto my matter; 

Yet, for the pure love, which I bearc all 'right, 

And hatred of the wrong, I muft revcale it. 

This very houre, your father is in purpofe i • 

To difinherit you Bon. How! Mos- And thruft you 

As a mcere ftrangcr to his blood; 'tis true, 

1 he worke no way ingagcth mc, but, as 

I claimc an \ntor P a ;„ ,i„. „.„ ' n n 





I claimc an intcrcft in the gcncrall flat 

Ur eoodnciTc, and true vertuc, which 1 u «*« 

USSS V° U \ and > for whi ' ch m «™ ****> 

Tl™ UAa hl, .\ alch »h loft thee much of the latctruft, 
Thou hadft with me 5 it is itnpofTible : 
I know nor how to lend it any thought 

Yttll J' ^ a E?**f?*» thac weU becomes 
Your pictic; and forrnd (no doubt) it is 

Tie fox. 

From your owne Ample innocence : which makes 

our wrong more monUrous, and abhor'd. Bur, fir, 
1 now, will rell you more. 1 his very minute, 
Ir is, or will be doing: And, if you 
Shall bee bur pleas'd to goo- with mcc, Tie bring you, 
(i dare not fay where you I hall fee, bur) where 

Your care fhal be a witiieffc of the deed; 
Hearc your fclfc written ba (lard: and profefl: 

The common ilTuc of the earth. Bon. I'm maz-'d ! 

Mos. Sir, if I doe ic not, draw your jufcluord, 

And fcorc your vengeance, on my fronr, and face ; 

Marke me your villanc : You have too much wrong, 

And 1 doc fuftcr fbr.vpii, .lir. My heart 

VVccpcs blooJ, in anguityj- 


Bon. Lead. I follow thec 

, * • - • • ■ i 

Ar.r 1 1 i. Scene n i. 


."2 ... 

A queflio// it, were now . -whether ot' us..tb> ct\ . n 

till I • ■-;'■■ r '3 • V ■> 

Being all the hibwse a'ei/t.ires ofa/t/h tfta/r, 

Ittfk&ftpg bim\ dahne '.,• j xe&qcj"- ' 
Cas./ eh bi ■»;;< Jxli J. Anu.^hIJ;* ^y heroic . 

Nax. ' .' oot 'ft wised*, hrmfc nyvuUtb.tfjcbboli. 

Ftrji, far your drear', c y /;,<■%■ Utile, a,^: ;. . , . /t 

And every things as /Uf:Mf,jffjB$X>ii} srfl J 'A 

Elfejih doe mer. a) to a creature o£ w ,Jh,ipe, t r - : ., : . . 


So fione as ihe } fit^kgll^s a f : .^^Uu!, ypi ioy 

tdvbjapretyuq '^[ur.ple.ij^^ ■t>nn t u/,o / > i \\ u] 

Of .■\;.a<tnfe ii 'W'd' ' Wttikito. • , . | 

Befide, tbft r eai lofy ofyn&fi doth no^^aiie 

lUUethc t,dr,,it.y,,d clotb,o,ie u\ yourbulhs^ilfhave^ , A 

Admit jour fooli t be the mother of laughte. ^ .. •, . 

ret, tor bis braine, it mu(l x/.t./u's come after; u(y . 

And though tl feed him, ii'< .i ^ttifull c<tfe y 

His body it leholdi^to fuch,a kuLjaie. 

Volp. Who's there ? my couch, away, look, iN a no, fee i 
Give mcc my cappes, h'rjl — j — rgf>4 enquire. Now, Cupm 
Scud it by MoscA,and with faire rotunie. 

NAH« Ir is the beauteous madam.- -Yoi .!■. Woul v.— is it? 

Nan. The, lame. Vpw*.-? Now,, torment on -mc; fquire hc« in- 
For nice will cnu-r, pr.iL.cll hcte^r ever. 
Nay, quickly, that my fit vyer^paltv:^ iearc 
A fecond hell too, that my loarhivo^his 

VViIl quire. cx JJt II ,n^ apj.ctirp tp li'.p Other: 

Would Che, vtese. raki|j R> now, hcjb§cu , ious lea\ 
Lord, how ic.Uuvau H -, vv h.. t j a i»j co fufTcr/ 


One Ifls 


The fox. 

ja in- Scene IV - 


one, Han o, Wo me n. 2. 

teSTESk enough (I .roubk you, fir 

Shcwcs not my 

the fever 

How they have done this.' Volp. I doe : fcele 1 

Fntrine, in at mine eares; 6, for a charmc. 

To fr|nt it hence. Lad. Come nccrer: ; is bis curie 

In his rffiht place ? or this ? why is this higher 

Than allThe reft.> you ha not wam'd your eyes,yet , 

Or doe they not Hand even i your head? 

Where's your fellow ? call her. Han. How. St.MARKE 

ic ncr noic is rcu. *. y^j j~-> 

tire, forfooth : are all things apt, or no ? 

om. One bairc a little, here, (licks out, forfooth. 

Deliver us: anon, (hce'llbcat her women. 
Becaufc her nofc is red. Lad. I pray you, view 

', Wom. v/uc u*uc <t uiuvj mmm **»%*•— , 

Lad. Do's 't fo forfooth ? and where was your dear iignt 
When it did fo, forfooth ? what now ? bird- ey d ? 
And you too ? pray you both approach, and mend it. 
Now (by that light) I mufe, yo are not aftam'd! 
I, that have preach'd thefe things, fo oft, unto you, 
Read you the principles, argu'd all the grounds, 
Difputcd every fitneue, every grace, 
Call'd you to counfell of fo frequent drefllngs— " 
(Nan. More carefully, than of your fame, or honour) 
Lad. Made you acquainted, what an ample dowry 
The knowledge of thefe things would bee unto you, 
Able, alone, to get you noble husbands 
At your rcturne : and you thus to neglect it ? 

Bcfidcs, you feeing what a curious nation 

Th' 1 1 tit a„$ arc, what will they fay of mce ? 

The Engltfk hdy cannot dreflc her fclfc; 

Here 1 a fine imputation,^ our countrey ! 

Well goe your wayes, and ftay i* the next roome. 

This focus W as too courfe too, it's no nutter. 

GO v ^^' ll n Sivc "Urn entertainment? , . ^ olf t 

Volp. The norme comes toward mcc. Lad. How dos myV° 

tw 01 a l cd with n °y fc ' l «™^ ilcc PJ l drctn,c 

That a ^ngc fury cmcd , f *> 

And, with the dreadfull tempefl of her breath, 

Did c crave my rcofe atunder. Lad. Beleevc mec, and I 

Had the mod fcarcfull drcame, could I remember'c 

Volp. Out on my fate, l i u - given her the occafion ^ 

The Fox. 

no, no; 


How to torment mcc : fhec will fell mcc hers. 

Lad. Mec thought, the golden mediocrity 

Polite, and delicate Vor.p. O^ if you doe love me, 

No more/, I fwcar, and fuffer, at' the mention 
Of any dieame: fcclc, how I tremble yet. 

Lad. Alas, gocdfoulc! the paffion of the heart. 
Secd-pearle were good now, boild with fyrrop of apples, 
Tin&ure of gold, and corrall, citron-pills, 
Your clicampane root, my roba lanes 

Voi. p. Ay mce, I have tane a grafie-hopper by the wing. 

Lad. Burnt filkc, and amber, you have mufcadcll 
Good i' the houfe Vor.p. You will riot drink, and pare ? 

Lad. Wo, feare not that. I doubt, wee (Trail not get 
Some Enhlijb faffron (haife a clramm would fervc) 
Your (ixtccne clows, a little muskc, dri'd mints,' 

Buglofic, and barty-mealc- Volp. Slice's in againe, - 

Bcibre 1 fain'd dife.ifes, now I have one. 

Lad. And thefe appli'd, with a right fcarlet-cloth 

Volp. Another flood of words 1 a very torrent.' 

Lad. Shall, -I, fir, imVc you apoultife? Volp. No, 
Tm very well.-^you need pa-fcribe no more. 

Lad. I have a little, ftudied phyfick • but now, 
I'm all for Mufick : favc, i' the fore-noons, 
An hourc, or two, for painting. I would have 
A lady, indced,t have all, letters, and Arts, 
Bee able to difcourfe, to- write, to paint, 
But principall (as Plato holds) your mufick' < 
(And fo do's wife Py i iiaooKas, I take it) 
Is your true rapture; when there is Concent ■>'■' 
In face, in voyce, an 1 clothes : arid is indeed,' ' 
Our fexes chiefeft ornament. Volp. The Poer, 
As old in time, as Plato, and as knowing, 
Say's that our higheft female grace is ftlcnce. ; 

Lad. Which o' your Poets ? Petrarch ? or Tasso? or Dante 
Guerrini ? Ariosto ? Aretine ? ' . 
Cieco At HadrtA?- 1 have read them all. 

Volp. Is every thing a caufe to my^ deftrn&ioh? 

Lad. 1 think, I ha two or three of 'hem, about me. 

Vol p. The Sunne, the Sea will fooncr, both fland ftill, 
Than her crernall tongue ! nothing can fcapc it. 

Lad. Here's Pastor Fido-— VoTp.Profcfle obftinate filencej- 
That's, now my fafeft. Lad. Ml our Engli\h wrircrs, 
I meanc fuch, as arc happy in th' Italt\t» 3 
Will deigncro fteale out of this authour, maincty 5 

Almofl as much, as from Montaonie :■ 
Hcc has fo modcrnc, and facile a veine, 
Pitting the time, and catching the court-care; 
Your Phtratch is more paflion.ite, yet hee, 
In dayes of fonnctting, milling 'hem, with much : 
Da'nte is hard, and few can undcrftand him. 

O o Bu: 

4.2 I 


The Fox. 

Only, bis piSurcs arc a lttti ^ ^ ^ ^^ me not ■ vu _ muft curc our fc i vcs 

Lad. Why, '" ^X— Volp. Oy mcc. 
Make ulco ,J ourpl « l« doc 7^ 

L.M). And, a« i »« ^ 

Encounter to -™c other bumour' 

%fr g W-«" in politick bodies, 
? SS^rc, Lb over.* helme the judgement, 
AnJ ctoS rife' undemanding, than top much 
Sc ing%nd fixing, and te'cMft) iubfiding 
Upon one objeft. For the incorporating 
Of thefc fame outward things, into that part. 
Which wee call mcntall, leaves fome ccrtainc /««, 
That (lop the organs, and, as Plato iayes, 
Aflafllnatcs our knowledge. Vol p. Now, the fpmt 
Of patience help rae.LAD. Come, in faith, I mult 
Vifit you more, adayes-, and make you well: 
Laugh, and belufty. Volp. My good angels five me. 
Lad. There was bur one folc man, m all the world. 
With whonvl ere could fympathife-, and hee 
Would lie you often, three, foure hourcs together, 
To hcare mcc fpeak : and bee (fometimc) fo rap t, 
As hee would anfwer mcc, quite from the purpofe, 
Like you, and you are like him, juft.l'le difcourfe 
(And't be but only, fir, to bring you a-fleep) 
How wee did fpend our time, aud loves, together, 
For fome fix yccres. Volp. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 

Lad. For wee were costanei, and brought up 

Volp. Some power, fome fate,fome fortune refcuc mc. 


AH in. Scene v. 

Mosca, Lady, Volpone. 

QOd faveyou, Madame. Lad. Good fir. Volp. Mosca? «!«** 

w Welcome to ray redemption. Mos. Why, fir? Volp. un, 

Kid mec of this my torture, quickly, there-, 

My Madam, with the everlafting voyce: 

The bells in time of peftilcnce,ncre made 

L& c noifc, or were in that pcrpctuall motion I 

The Cock-pit comes not nccre it. All my houfc, 

But now, fteam'dlike a bath, with ber thick breath- 

A lawyer could not have becne heard, nor fcarce 

Another woman, f uc h a hayle of words 

5 \f f i lU For llclls &ke, "d her hence. 
Y\ t' u kr CC P refcnrc£ l? Volp. O, 1 doc not care, 

^kft«ffl*2». I* brought fP^\ 

The Fox. 


A toy, a cap here, of mine ownc work 

Mos. 'lis well, 

I bad forgot to tell you, 1 finv your Knight, 

Where you'ld little think it — Lad. Where? Mos. Marry, 

Where ycr, if you nuke haftc, you may appichend him, 

Rowing upon the water in a <iondok -, 

With the mod cunning currizan, of Venice. 

Lad. Is't true? Mos. Purfuc 'hem, and bclecvc your eyes : 
Leave mc, to make your gifr. I knew, 'c would take. 
For lightly, they that ufe themfelvcs moft licence, 
Arc Aill mod jealous. Voi.p. Mosca, hearty thanks, 
For thy quick fi&ion, and delivery of mec. 
Now, to my hopes, what fayeft thou? Lad. But doc you hearc,fir? 

Volp. Againe; I feare a Paroxifme. Lad. Which 


Row'd they together? Mos. Toward the Rialto. ' 

Lad. 1 pray you lend mc your dwarfe. Mos. I pray you, take him, 
Your hopes, fir, are like happy bloflbmes, faire, 
And promife timely fruit, if you will ftay 

But the maturing; keepe you, at your couch, 

Corbaccio will arrive ftrair^ with the Will : 

When be is gone, 1'le tell you more. Volp. My blood, 

My fpirits are return'd; I am alive: 

And like your wanton gam'fter, at Primero 3 

Whofe thought had whifper'd to him, not goe lefle. 

Me thinks 1 lie, and draw for an encounter. 


i r i. 



Mosca, Bonario. 


Sir, here conceald, you may heare all. But 'pray you 
Have patience, fir ; the fame's your father, knocks : 
I am compcld, to leave you. Bon. Doe Co. Ycr, 
Cannot my thought imagine this a truth. 

Act in. Scene v i r. 

Mosca, Corvino, Celia, Bonario, 


T"\Eatb on mc! you arc come too foone, what meant you? 
-*-^Did not I fay, I would, fend? Corv. Yes, but I fear J 
You might forget it, and then rhcy prevent us. 

Mos. Prevent? did ere man haftc (o, for his homes? 
A Courtier would not ply it fo, for a place. 
Well, now there's no helping ir, flay here; 
l'lc prefently returne. Cor v. Where are you, Ci- i.ia ? 
You know not wherefore I have brought you hither? 

Cel. Not well, except you told me. Corv. Now, I iwl 
Hark hither. Mos. Sir, your father hath fent word, 
It will-be h.tlfc an houre, crc hee come; 

O o a 

8m \attfr. 




The fox. 

: 7 tT^TnlMfc to walk, the while, 

A,kI rcfoa, I you ptafct ^ 

Into that g aller> -t-~ ; ^ joc thc timc . 

rhcre ? « ( . on ' c ; "; S '„„„ rt.all come unto you, fir. 
And lie Bke f*™ & % t i icrc , 1 doc doubt this fellow. 

Mos 'Tbctc, he is fine enough, >» can he* »°'l»ng = 
. ,-' i ', fithrr. I can kecne bim off. 
A fZ Nav no-, there if no forting back , and therefore, 

p r . • ! w0 uld avoyd all (hifcs and tricks, 

That raiftbt denic mc. Cm.. Sir, let mc befcech you, 

Affra Dot tbcfe ftrange trials j if you doubt 

My chafticy, why lock me up for ever: 

Make me the hcyre of darkneflc. Let me live, 

Where 1 may plcafe your feares, if not your milt. 

Cory. Bclcevc it, I have no fuch humour, I. 
All that I fpeak, 1 meant*; yet I am not mad: 
Not home-mad, fee you ? Go too, (hew your fclfc 
Obedient, and a wile. Cel. O heaven! Corv. I fay it, 
Doc to. Cel. Was this thc trainc? Corv. 1 have told you reafont; 
What the Phyfitians have fet downc; how much, 
It may conccrnc mc- what my engagements arc; 
My meanest and the neccflity of thofc meanes, 
For my recovery : wherefore, if you bee 
Loyall, and mine, be wonnc, refpeft my venture. 

Cel. Before your honour? Corv. Honour? tut, a 
There's no fuch thing, in nature : a mecrc tcrme 
Invented to awe fooles. What is my gold 
The worfe, for touching ? clothes, for being look'd on ? 
Why, this 's no more. An old, decrepit wretch, 
Thar has no fenfe, no fincw ; takes his mcate 
With others fingers; only knovves to gape, 
When you doc fcald his gumms; a voyce; a fhadow; 

And, what can this man hurt you? Cel. Lord i what fpirit 

Is this hath entred him? Corv. And for your fame, 

That's fuch a jiggc-, as if I would goo tell it^ 

Cry it, on the fuauUX who Hull know it ? 

But : face, that cannot fpeak it ; and this fellow, 

Whole hpps are i' my pocket : favc your fclfc 

It youlc proclaimed, you may. I know no otucr, .. ., 

Should come to know it. C E l . Arc heaven, and taints then notM*' 

W .11 they be blindc, or ftupide ? C o k v . How ? Cel. Good W 

Be jealous ftm, emulate them; and think 

What hate they burnc with, toward every finne. 
Corv. I grant you : if I thought it were a fi 

I would not urge you. Should 1 offer this 

To fomc yong Frencbn,^ or hot T^cmc blood, 

That had read ARhTiNh^onnJ all his prints,. 

Knew every quirk within Lufts Uborinth And 

breath ; 



The fox. 

And were profeft critique,' in lechery j 
And I would look upon him, and applaud him, 
This were a finne: but here, 'tis contrary, 
A pious work, mccre charity, for ph yfick, 
And honcfi: politic, to allure mine owne. 
Cel. O heaven! canft thou fuffer fuch a change ? 
Volp. T hou art mine honour, Mos ca, and my pri-U. 
My joy, my tickling, my delight ! goc, bring 'hem. 
Mos. Plcafe you draw ncprc, fir. Corv. Come on, what 

You will not be rebellious? by that light . 

Mos. Sir, fignior Cor.vjno, here, is come to fee you 
Vol p. Oh. Mos. And hearing of the confutation had 
So lately, for your health, is come to offer, 
Or rather, fir to proftitute— -Corv. Thanks, fiveet Mos c 

Mos. Freely, un-askd, or un-intreatccl Corv Well 

Mos. (As rhe rrue, fervent inftancc f his love) * 
Hi< owne molt fairc and proper wife; the beauty, 

Only of price, in Venice Corv. 'Tis well urg'd. 

Mos. To be your comfortrclTe, and to preferve you 
Volp. AlnlTc, I am paft already! pray you, thank him, 
For his good care,.and promptneffe ; but for that, 
Tis a vaine labour, ccne to fight, 'gain ft heaven i 
Applying fire to a (tone : ( uh b uh, uh, uh.) 
Making a dead leafe grow aeaiuc. I take ■ 
His willies gently, though ; and you may tell him, 
What 1 have done for him-,- ..marry, my. -.fare is bopfild&L 
Will him, to pray for mc 5 and t"ufe hjs fortune, 
With reverence, r wben he comes to'r. Mos. Doe you heare 
Goc to him, with your wife,- -Corv. Heart of my father ! 
Wilt thou pcrfilt thus ? come, I pray thee come. 
Thou feed 'tis nothing, Chi.; a. By this hand, 
I fliall grow violent. Come, do'r, I fey. 

Cel. Sir, kill mc, rather: I will take downe poyfon, 

Eate burning coales, doc ^oy, .thing -Corv. Be damiuh 

( Heart; I will drag thee hence, home, by the hairc; 
Cry thee a (trumpet, through tbc ftrcets- rip up 
Thy mouth, unto thine earcs,; and flit thy nofe, 

Lik a raw rorchet Doc not tempt mc, come. 

Yeeld, I am loth (Death ) I will buy fomc flaw 

Whom I will kill, and hip* rhec to him^livc 3 
And ar my wmdore, hang you forth : devifing 
Some monftrous crime", Which I, ip capitaU letters, 
vvill care into thy flefh, with >#*>■;//, , 
And burning cor'fives, on this ftubborne b«eft.' 
Now, by the blood, thou haft iinccns'd, I'je do t. 

^el. Sir, what you pleaf C y you may,- 1, am yourmirtyr. 
Th?n? RV ; -' n0t thuS °*Wfc l lj * «* deferv'd k: * 

What thou w,Ic think, and aske. Doe, bur, goe L h». 

OO r- 






The Fox ■ 

H* laps of 

frami'ii touch 

. ~Z~ „,„ Akc. At my futc. 

Or touch him, but. For my u ^^tx this. 

This once. Ho? not. x j *vou thirft my undoing? 
\\lUyoiiuirgTaceme,tn«^ 3dv : is 'j t CoRv . No , n0 . 

Mos. Nay, gentle ady, God>s prccious> tb i, is skirvy , 

Shcc hts watch d her un ^ Mqs> Nay> good) fi r . 

Tis very skwvy : anu y^^ ^ hcaf COj a locu(h vVhorc, 

Corv. An crra ^^ prepar'd, 

Crocodile, that ,a ., 7 bid - hcm flow. Mos. Nay, 'prty you, fir, 
Expecting, ho* rnou ^ Would my nfe woul a f crvc 

Shce will con !}r ' /c" death) if Hiee would but fpeak to him, 

A r v.wrl»llu to aftc& my utter ruine. 

*Mo ft S you' have put your fortune, in her hand,. 

Why ffai h it is bet modefty I muft quit her ■ . 

If you were abfent, <hec would be more commutes 

I know it : and dare undertake for her. 

Uh?t woman can, before her husband > W you, 

Lc r us depart, and leave her, here Corv. Sweet Celia, 

Thou may ft redeeme all, yet j I'lc fay no more >,i 

If not, cftceme your felfc as oft. Nay, ftay there. 

Cei . O god, and his good angels 1 whether whether. 
Is flume fled humane brcfts ? that with fuch cafe, 
Men dare put off your honours, and their ownc ? 
Is that, which ever was a caufc of life, 
Now plac'd beneath the bafeft circumftancc ? 
And modefty an exile made, for money ? 

Volp. I, in Corvino, and fuch earth-fed minds, 
That never rafted the true heav'n of love. 
Aflurc thee, Celia, he that would fell thee, 
Only for hope of gaine, and that uncertain*, 
He would have fold his part of paradifc 
Por ready money, had he met a cope-man. 
Why art thou maid, to fee me thus revive! ? 
Rather applaud thy beauties miracle; 
'Tis thy great wo.k : that hath, not now alone, 
Butfundry times, raysd me, in fcverall Chapes, 
And, but this morning, like a mountebank, 
To fee thee at thy windore. 1, before 
I would have left my practice, for thy love, 
In varying figun s, I would hrve contended 
With the blue Proteus, of the horned ™"/ ; 
Now art thou welcome. Cel. Sir! Vou>. Nay, flic me not 
Nor, let thy falfc imagination 
That I was bed-rid, make tlicc 1 think, I am fo : 

Thou (halt not find it. 1 am, uow, as frefh, 
Ax hot, as high, and in as joviall plight, 
As when ( in that fo celebrated [ctne. 
At recitation of our Camxdie, 
Yor cntcrtaincmcnt of tlic great Valoys ) 


The Fox. 


I acted yong Antinous; and atsracted 
The eyes, and cares of all the ladies, preicnt, 
T' admire each graccfull gefture, note, and footing. 


f~*Ome, my Celia, let us prove, 

^-'tyhile wee can, the [ports of love$ 

Time will not be ours, for ever, 

He, at length 3 our good will [ever ; 

Spend not then his gifts in vainc. 

Sunnes, that [et, ma) ri[e agai/ie: 

But if, once, we lo[e this light, 

'Tis with us perpetuall night. 

why (bould wee deferre our joyes $ 

Fame, and rumor are but toies. 

Cannot wee delude the eyes 

Of a few poore houjbold~[pies t 

Or his eafier eares beguile, 

Thus removed, by our wile $ 

'Tis no ftnne. loves fruits to flealc; 

But the [weet thefts to reveale : 

To be taken, to be [eene, i 

Thefe have crimes accounted beene.. 
Cel. Some [erene blaft mee, or dire lightning ftrikc 
This my offending face. Volp. Why droops my Chlia? 
Thou haft in place of a bafe husband, found 
A worthy lover : ufe thy fortune well , 
With fecrecic, and plcafurc. Sec, behold, 
What thou arc queen of; not in expectation, 
As I feed others : but poflcfs'd, ana croun'd. 
See, here, a rope of pcarle ; and each, more orient 
Than that the bfavc Egyptian queen carrousel: 
Diftblvc, and drink 'hem. See, a carbuncle, 
May put out both the eyes of our St. Marke j 
A diamant, would have Drought Lolli a Paulina, 
When fhec came in , like ftar-light hid with jewels, 
That were the fpoylcs of provinces; take thefe, 
And wcarc , and Io(e 'hem : yet remaincs an care-ring 
To purchafe them againe, and this whole ftatc. 
A gem, but worth a private patrimony, 
Is nothing : vvc will care fuch at a mealc. 
The heads of parrats, tongues of nightingales, 
The braincs of peacocks, and of clinches 
Shall be our food: and, could wc get the phcenix, 
(Though nature loft her kind) flice were our dim. 

C £L - Good fir, thefe things might move a mind affected 
With fuch delights; but I, whofc innocence 
Is all I can think wealthy, or worth th' enjoying, 
And which once loft, I have nought to lofe beyound if, 
i-annot be taken wirh thefe fcnfuall baits : 
If you have confciencc Volp. 'Tis the beggers vcrtue, 






The Foxi 

— ■ — ■ ™^*^^^^^^ 

I * 

Then I like Mars, and thou like Erycine 

So, of the reft, till we have quite run through, 

And weary d all the fables of the gods. 

Then will I have thee in more moderne formes, 

Attyred like fome fprightly dame of J ranee, 

Brave Tufean lady, or proud Spamfb bcautie * ; 

Sometimes, unto the Perfi an Sophies wife; 

Or the gin&S igniors miureflc-, and, for change, 

To one of our moft art-full courtrzans, 

Or fome quick Negro, or cold Ruftan • 

And I will meet thee, in as many (hapes : 

Where we may, fo, tranf-fufe our wandring foulcs, 

Out at our lipps, and fcore vtp fummes of pleafurcs, 

• » 




That the curiout jhall not know : 
Hon to tell them, as they flow ^ 

And the em-tow, when they finde ■ 
what their number ifj'be pi/ide. 

Cel. If you have cares that will be pierc'd ; or eyes 
That can be opcn'd ; a heart, may be touch*d; 
Or any parr, that yet (bunds map, about you ! 
If you have touch of holy Saints, - or Heaven, 
Doe me the grace, to let me (cape. If not, 
Be bountifull, and kill me. You doc know, 
1 am a creature, hither ill beftayd. 
By one, whofc (Vramc I would forger jt were, 
H you will daignc me neither -of thefc gnccs, 
Yet feed your wrath, Gr, rather than your, luft ; 
( tt is x vice comes decrex raaflUittflc ) 
And puni<h that unhappy entile of nattitc, 
Which jou mifcaJl my beauty 1 .: flay my. face, 
Or poyfon it, with crjrotttieKt, for (educing/ 
Your Wood to this trbcllion. Hub the fc fcaeds, 
WiA ^har may caafc za eating leprotic, f 
Een to my bones, and marrow : any thing, ' 
"Thar ouy dis&votK me, fave in my honour. 
And I w<H taeelc to you, pray tot you, pay downc 
A thouQui homely vowes, fir, for your health, , , 

."epoit^and th iric mo vctwous Volj>. Tbink me coW, 

■ • 

• r 


J • 



The Fox, 

Frozen, and imporcnr, and fo report mc? 

That I had Nestor's Hernia, thou wouldrt think. 

I doc degenerate, and abufc my nation, 
ro plav with opportunity, thus Jong: 

y£m n n C r 0DC r, : C ad ' and thtn have P^U 

Box FnH/ ^^'- S Hl - O-'iuftGod. Volp. Invaine 
Prf^V r • m C ', f0U,c r iV,fl * r » Vinous Avinc, 
Free die fore d lady, or thou dy'fr, importor. 

But that I am loth to fnatch thy puni fhment 

Out of the hand of jurticc, thou flhouldft, yer 

?C made s the timely facriilec of vengeance, I ' 
Before this altar, and this drofle, tlwidoll. 
.Lady lets L ]u h the place; it is the den 
Or yi lany; fan nought, you have a nuard: 
And he, ere long, (hall meet his juft reward. 

Volp. Fall on me, roofc, and bury me in mine. 
Become my grave, that were my ihclrcr. O ! 
I am un-mafqud, unfpiritcd, un-done. 
Betray d to beggcry, t Q infamy 


• Ail- 1 1 r,' Scene v 1 1 ft 

\i 9 


Moj, . i 
fUcd him. 


M O S C A, V O I. P o NE. 

\/y Here fhall I runnc, moft wretehed fW of men, 

My life my hopes, my fpirits, my.pitron, all 
Thus definitely engaged, by my' error. 

wk ,T h , haft L matie me-mifcftblc. Mos." And ra 71 £ fir 

volp. V\ hat (hall wc,doc> Mn? ' i im„ ««^ a- i 
Could expUce the riifffi; ft' ffi°! ?:«£ 
W. 1 you be pleas d to hang me ? or cut my tutoate > 
And 1 le reqwte you fir, Lets die like *«£„, 

omce we have liv d, like Grecian v rtIn u , , . , 
Il.carefome looting, officeT^ ^' Har k , who s there ? 

Come to apprehend us! 1 doe fecle the brand 
Hiding already, at my fore-head : now, 

Mike tlmX, n "?' , MoS ' T ° ^ Ur «** fir > YOU 
Sn "J ? g T? ho - vcv ^. Guilty men * 

Sufpea, what they defcrv. ftill. Signior Corbaccio I 



+ <o 

The ft* 

M in. Scene i x. 


Hv ! how no* f Mosca ! Mos . O, undone, iwad, fo. 


accidcM ) 

: ! ; oVhoufe with violence Ins fword ckawnc, 
Sought for you, calfd you wretch, unnaturaU, 
v3 be would kill you. Corb. Mc ? Mos. Yes, and my patron . 

Corb . This act, avail difmherit him indeed : 
Here is the Will. Mos. 'Tis well, fir. Corb. Right and well. 
Be you as carcfull now, for me. Mos. My life- fir, 
Is not more tendcr'd. I am only yours. 

Corb. How docs he? will he die Oiortly,thinklt thou? Mos. I feare, 
Hce'le out-laft Mm. Corb. To day ? Mos. No, laft-out Mt h fir. 

Corb. Couldft thou not gi' him a dram ? Mos. O, by no meancs,(ir. 

Corb. Nay,- He not bid you. Volt. This is a kmve, I fee. 

Mos. How, fignior Volt ore '.did he heare mc? Volt. Parafite. 

Mos. Who's that? 0,fir, moll timely welcome — Volt. Scarce, 
To the difcOYcry of your tricks, I fearc. 
You are his only? and mine, alio? are you not ? 

Mos. Who? I, fir! Volt. You, fir. What device is this 
About a Will? Mos. A plot for you, fin Volt. Come, 
Put not your foifts upon mc, I fhali fente 'hem. 

Mos. Did you not heare it ? Volt. Yes, I heare, Corbaccio 
Hath made your patron, there, his hcirc. Mos. 'Tis true, 
By my device, drawne to it by my plot, 

With hope Volt. Your patron (hould reciprocate? 

And, yon have promis'd? Mos. For your good, I did, fir. 

Nay more, I told his fonne, broughr, hid him here, 

Where he might heare his father paflc the deed 5 

Being perfwaded to it, by this thought, fir, 

That the unnaturalize, fir ft, of the act, 

And then, his fathers oft difclaiming in him,' 

(Which 1 did meaner.' helpc on) would fure 

To doe fomc violence upon his parent, 

On which the Law (hould take lufficicnt hold, 

And you be ftated in a double hope: 

Tzuth be my comfort, and my confeience, 

My only ayme was, to dig you a fortune 

Out of thefc two, old rotten fepulchcrs ■■■ » ■ :. n cf, 

(Volt. 1 cry thee mercy, Mos c a.) Mos. Wortb-ytwrp 

And your orcat merit, fir. And, fee the change! auAacfo' 

■;l r. Why? what fucceflc ? Mos. Motthaplcffe! you mu» nc, » 

enrage hi'u 

e expected th* old raven, in comes 
c ' fe, lent hither, by her husband- 

The Fox. 

Volt. What, with a prefent? Mos. No, fir, on vifitation- 
(I'lc tell you how, anon) and, flaying long, 
The youth, he grows impatient, rufhes forth, 
Scizcth the lady, wounds me, makes her fweare 
( Or he would murder her, that was his vow) 
'I ' affirme my patron to have done her rape : 
Which how unlike it is, you fee ! and, hence, 
With that pretext, he's gone, t' accufe his father ; 
Defame my patron ; defcate you —Volt. Where's her husband ? 
Let him be fent for, Itrait. Mos. Sir, I'lc goe fetch him. 

Volt. Bring him, to the Scrutineo. Mos. Sir, I will. 

Volt. This muft be ftopt. Mos. O, you doe nobly, fir. 
Ahflc, 'twas labour'd all, fir, for your good; 
Nor, was there want of counfcll, in rhe plot : 
But Fortune can, at any time, orethrow 
The projects of a hundred learned Clear fo^ fir. 

Corb. What's that? Volt. Wil't pleafe you fir, to goe along? 

Mos. Patron, goe in, and pray for our fuccefle. 

Volp. Nc^d mjrlcqs devotion : heaven your labour blcfle. 


Ad: 1 1 1 i. Scene 1. 

Politique, Peregrine. 

ITold you, fir, it was a plot : you fee 
What observation is. You niention'd race, 
For fomc inftru&ions : I will r&JLl you, fir, 
(Since wee are met, here in this heigth of Venice) 
Some few particulars, 1 have fct fdowne, 
Only for rhis Meridian i fit 10 be kpowne 
Of your crude traveller, and they are thefc. 
I will not touch, fir, at your phrafe, or clothes, 
For they arc old. Per. Sir, 1 have better. Pol, Pardon, 
I meanr, as they are themes. Per. O, fir, proceed: 
Tic flandcr you no more of wit, good fir. 

Pol. Firft, for your garbe, it muft be grave, and ferious; 
Very rcferv'd, and lockt ; not tell a fecret, 
On any termes, not to your father ; fcarce 
A fable, but with caution ; make fure choyfe 
Both of your company, and difcourfe ; beware, 
You never fpeak a truth — Per. How! Pol. Not to (hangers, 
For thofe be they you rauft convcrfc with, moft; 
Ochers I would not know, fir, but, at diftance, 
So as I ftill might be a favcr, in 'hem: 
You fhall have tricks, elfc,paft upon you, hourcly. 
And then, for yonr religion, profefle none ; 
But wonder, at the diverfirie of all; 
And, for your part, proteft, were there no other 
But firnply the Laweso' th' land, you could content you : 





The Fox. 

Nic . M ac nAvn ana fa 

w,.r,. n r\is mmd. 1I'CH» » /■ . 

Were of this mi 

xx crc ot w» »"»«■ .; fork • ar mcalcs 
A«d handing ^ you ^ve ^ 

•ibc mctall ot your gw««fV" . „ . .„ 


With your 


tuiun ) ?ndt» know the hourc, 

Sc» Is thai a point of State, too t Poi.. Here it is. 

£££ us* efc icaft he has lum ftraight; 
H ' he ftnpps him. 1 lc acquaint you, fir, 

I no w have iivcl'hcrc ('tis fomc founeeflc months) 

Within the firft week, of my landing here; 

All took me for a Citizen of Vmtu: 

I knew the formes, fo well- — Per. And nothing cite. 

Pol. I had read Contarene, took me a home, 
Desk with my lews, to furnifh it with moveables 
Well, if I could but one man, one man, 
To mine ownc heart, whom I durft truft, I would 

Per. What? what, fir? Pol. Make him rich y make hima fortune- 
He mould not think, agaiuc. I would command it. 

Per. As how? Pol. With certaine projects, that I have: 
Which, 1 may not difcovcr. Per. If I had 
But one to wager with, 1 would lay odds, now, 
He tells me, inftantly. Pol. One is, (and that 
I care not greatly, who kr.owes ) to ferve the State 
Of Venice, with red herrings, for three yceres, 
And at a certaine rare, from Roterdam, • 
Where I have corrcfpondcncc. There's a letter, 
Sent me from one o, th' States, and to that purpofe ; 
He cannot write his name, but that's his mark. 

Per. He is a chaundler? Pol. No, a cheeferaonger. 
There are fome other too, with whom I treate, 
About the fame negotiation; 

And, I will undertake it : For, 'tis thus, 

I'le do"t with eafe, I" have caft it all. Your Hoigh 

Carries but three men in her, and a boy; 

And fhee (hall make me three returnes, a yeerc : 

So, if there come but one of three, I fave. 

If two, 1 can defalk. But, this is now, 

If my mainc project failc. Pf.r. '1 hen, )Ou have others? 
Pol. I mould be loth to draw the fubtill ayrc 

Of fuch a place, without my thoufand ayuics. 

I'le not difTcmble, fir, where ere I come, 

I love to be confidcrativc; and, 'tis true, 

I have, at my free hourcs, thought upon 

Some certaine goods, unto the State of Pence, 

Which I doc call my cautions: and, fir, which 

I meanc ( in hope of penfion ) to propound 

To the great Counfcll, then unto the forty, 

^o to the ten. My mcanes are made already ■■—■■ — ■ . m, 

'The Fox. 


Per . By whom ? Po I . Sir, one, that though his place b- obfeure 
Yet, he can (foray, and they will Heart* him. Hec's 
A CommarM'hrc. Per. What, a common fergeant? 

Pol. Sir, fuch, as they are, put it in their mouthes, 
What they mould fay, fomctimes: as vyeJi as greater. 
I think I have my notes, ro (hew you Per. Good, fir, 

Pol. But," you (hall fweare unto me, on your gentry, 
Not to anticipate— Pur. I, fir? Pol. Nor revcale 
A circumitancc My paper is not with me. 

Per. O, bur you can remember, fir. Pol. My firft is. 
Concerning tinder-boxes. You. muft know, 
No familic is, here, without it's boxc. 
Now fir, it being fo portable a thing, 
Put cafe, that you, or I were ill affecled 
Unto the State ; fir, with it in our pockets, 
Might not I goc into ihcarftnalel 
Or you? come out againe? and none the wifcr? 

Per. Except your felfe, fir. Pol.Goc too, then. I, therefore, 
Advercife to the State, how fie it we're, 
r l hat none, but fuch as; were knownc patriots, 
Sound lovers of their counrrey, mould be fufferd 
T enjoy ihcm in their houfes: and, even rhofe, 
Scal'd, at fomc Office, and, at fuch a bigncfle, 
As might not lurk in pockets. Per. Admirable' 

Pol. My next is, how t' enquire, and be rcfolv'd, 
By prcfent demonftration, whether a (hip, 
Newly arri'v'd from Soria, or from 
Any fufpc&ed part of all the Levant, 
Be guilty of the plague: And, where they ufe, 
to lie out forty, fifty dayes, fometimes, 
About the Lazaretto, for their tryall •■> 
l'k fave thar charge, and lofTe unto the merchant, 
And, in an hourc,' clcarc the doubt. Per. Indeed, fir? 

Pol. Or— —I will loofc my labour. Per. 'My faith, that's much. 

Pol. Nay, fir, conceive me. Twill coft me, in onions, 
Some thirty h-Jres p ER . Which is one pound fterlin?. 

Pol. Bcfide my water-works : for this I doe, fir. . ! 

Firft, I bring in your mip, 'twixt two brick walls; 
( But thofc the State mall venter) on the one 
I ftraine me a fairc tarre-paulin ; and, in that, 
I fiick my onions, cut in halfcs : the other 
is full of loop-holes, out at which, I rhruft 
The nofes of my bcllowcs; and, thofc belloives 

!rA C M^, W . ch , WaccMv0rks ' in Pcrpctuall motion, 
(Which is the cafi'ft matter of a hundred ) 

Nov, fir, your onion, which doth naturally 

Attraft th' infection, and your bellowcs, blo.vino-. 

I he ayre upon him, will (hew ( inftantly ) 

By his chang d colour, if there be contani on> 

Or elfe, rem -ine as faire, as at the firft. 

Pp N 

• • r~ ™ 'rh nothing- PhR- You arc "ght> fir. 
N ow a^l^^/yS n°tc PER. 'Faith, fo would I : 
P ° L * F2& veil o once, fir. Pol. Were I falfc, 
Bur, you a ^^ ^id foe* you rcafons, 
Or would be made lo, l c ^ ^ ^ 

?^^!K their- Phr. 'Pray you, fir Por . 

Tfc A'rr t ere fir? Bot. No, &»* ^V '"»* 
S? n I note my adions of the day. 

A Shad gnawne mv fputre-lcthers • notwirhftanding, 

I put on new, and did goe forth : bur, fir ft, 

I threw three beanes over the threfoold "*"> 

I went, and bought two tooth-picks, whereof one 

I burii immediately, in a difcourfc 

With a Dutch merchant, "bout ragtoa dcl?<uo. 

From him I went, and payd a mocctmgo, 

For peccing my filk (lockings-, by the way, t 

I cbeapcn'd fprats : and at St. Mark s, . unnd. ■ 

'Faith, thefe arc politique notes I Pol. Sir, I doe flip 

No attion of my life, thus, buc I quote it. 

Per. Bclccvc me it is wife ! Pol. Nay, fir, read forth. 


M iv. 


1 1, 

Lady, Nano, Women, Pol i ti qjie, Perec rine. 


Here lliould this Ioofc knight be, trow? fure, he's housd. 
Nan. Why, then he's faft. Lad. I,heplayesboth,withme: 
I pray you, flay. This hcarc will doe more harme 
To my complexion, than his heart is worth. 
( I doc Hot care to hinder, but to take him:) 
Mowit comes off! Wom. My matter's yonder. Lad. Where? ( 
Wom. With a yong gentleman. . Lad. That fame*, the parry. 
In mans apparcll. 'Pray you, fir, jog my knight : 
I will be tender to his reputation, 

However he demerit. Pol. My lady! Per. Where' * 
Pol. 'Tis (hec indeed, fir; you fhail know her. She is, 
Were (hec not mine, a lady of that merit, 
For fafluon, and behaviour ; and, for beauty 

I durft compare Per. It fccmes,you are nor jealous, 

That dare commend her. Pol. Nay, and for difcourfe •~~~T 
P£R. Being your wife, fhec cannot mine that. Pol. Mi" » 
He re is a gentleman, pray you, ufc him, fairely, 
He kernes a youth, but he is— Lad. None? Pol. Yes, one 

Has put his face, as (bone, into the world . , . \ 

Lad. You meanc, as early ? but to day ? Pol. HOW 5 
Lad. Why in this habit, fir, you apprehend me. 
Well, matter WouLD-BRE, this doth not become you; 
1 had thought, the odour, fir, of your good name, 
Had becne more precious to you ; that you would not j|. w - 

The Fox. 

Have done this dire maflacrc, on your honour 5 

One of your gravity, and rank, befides 1 

Bur, Knights, 1 fee, care little for the oath 

They nuke to ladies: chiefly, their ownc ladies. 

Pol. Now,by my fpurrs (the fymbole of my knight-hood; ■ ■ \ 
(Per. Lord ! how his brainc is humbled, for an oath ) 
Pol. I reach you nor. Lad. Righr, fir, your poliric 

May bearc 11 through, thus* Sir, a word with you. 

1 would be loth, to conteft publickly, 

With any gentlewoman; or to fcemc 

Froward, or violent (as the Courtier fayes) 

It comes too neerc rufticity, in a lady, 

Which I would fluin, by all meanes •. and, however 

I may defcrve from maftcr Would-bee; yer, 

T'have one faire gentlewoman, thus, be made 

Th' unkind initrument, to wrong another, 

And one fhe knowes not, I, and to perfever; 

In my poorc judgement, is not warranted 

From being a [olzcifme in our fex, 

If not in manners. Per. How is this ! Pol. Sweet madam. 

Come nccrer to your ayine. Lad. Marry, and I will, fir. . 

Since you provoke me, with your impudence, 

And laughter of your hnd-fircn, here, 

Your Sporus, your Hermaphrodite— Pek. What's here? 
Poetique fury, and hiftoriquc fiormes ! 

Pol. The gentleman, beleeve ir, is of worth, 
And of our nation. Lad. I, your ivhitc.Friers nation? 
Come, I blufh for you, maftcr Would-bee, I- 
And am afhamd, you fhould ha' no more forehead 
Than, thus, to be the parroo, or St. George 
To a lewd harlot, a bafc fricatricc, 
A female devill, in a male out- fide. Pol. Nay, 
And you be filch a one ! I muft bid adieu 
To your delights. The cafe appearcs too liquid. 

Lad. I, you may carry't clcare, with your (rate-face! 
But, for your carnivale concupifcencc, 
Who here is fled for liberty of confciencc, 
From furious perfection of the Marlhall, 
Her will I difc'plc. Per. This is fine, i' faith ! 
And doc you ufe this, often t is this part 
Of your wits excrcife, gainft you have occafion? 

Madam- -Lad Goe to, fir. Per. Doc you hcarc me, I a d< 

Why, if your knight have fct you ro begge forts, 
Or ro invite me home, you might have done it 
A nccrer way, by farre. Lad. This cannot wor 
Out of my fnare. Per. Why? am I in it, then 
Indeed, your husband told me, you were faire 
And fo you are; only your nofe cnclincs 

r^/Tl^ atSnCX u thc , fu r L )t0 thc quccne-apple. 
Lad. This cannot be endur'd, by any patience. 

Pp 2 


work you, 

The fox . 



Scene 1 1 1. 

sJtt iv. 

T a n Y P E R K G R I N E. 

_ . • i^„vir«r madam? Lad. If the Senate 

, the caller. 


M of here 1 have cane difguisd. 
you told ^j 1Q ? ' tnis ? w hac meanes your ladifhip? the crearuri 

•' m m vnn is aooreuended, now, 

KiK SSSt her^LAD. Where? 

Mos He bring you to her. This youg gentleman, 
I ftw him land, this morning, at the port. 

Lad 1st pomblc! how has my judgement wander d! 
Sir, I mutt, bluming, fay to you, 1 have errd : 
And plead your pardon. Per; What! more changes, yet? 

Lad. I hope yo' ha not the malice to remember 
A gemlewomans paflion. If you ftay, 
In Venice, here, plcafe you to ufe me, fir- 

Mos. W ill you goc, madam? -Lad. Pray you, fir, uie me. In faith, 
The more you fee me, the more I Hull conceive, 
You have forgot our quarrel!. Per. This is rare! 

Sir Politique Would-bee> no, 1 fir Politique bawd! 

To bring me, thus, acquainted with his- wife ! 
Well, wife fir Pol. fince you have pra&is'd, thus, 
Upon' my fremman-lhip, Tie trie your falt-head, 
What proofc it is againft a counter-plot. 

All iv. Scene iv. 


WE11, now you know the carriage of the bufincftc, 
Your conftancy is all, that is requir'd 
Unto the fafety of it. Mos. Is the lye 

Safely convay'd amongfl us? is that fare? r ; n W nor. 

Knowes every man his burden? Corv. Yes. Mos. Then, W™ 
Corv. Bur, knowes the Advocate the truth? Mos. <V > 
By no meanes. I devis'd a formall talc, 
That falv'd your reputation. But, be valiant, fir. 

Corv. I fcare no one, but him; that, this his pleading 

Should make him ftand for a co-hcire Mos. Co-halter. 

Hang him : we will but ufe his tongue, his noife, 
Aswcdoccroakcrsjhcrc. Corv. I, what (Vail he doc? 

Mos. When we ha' done, you racane ? Corv. Yes. 
Sell him for mummia, hee's halfe dull already. 
Doc not you fmile, to fee this Lufjalo, 

How he doth fpoit ic with his head? ■ 1 <houkl 

If all were well, and pall. -Sir, only you 
Arc he, that fhall enjoy the crop of all, 

Mos. wty 

The Fox: 


And thefc not know for whotn.thcy roylc. Cam? IJpcic? 

Mos. But you fhall care it: Much J Worfhipfull fir, y\ 
Mercury fit upon your tbun iring tongue, 
Or the French Hercules, and aukc your language 
As conquering as his qlubi to beitc^loog, , 

(As with a tempeft). flat,, our' adverfarics : 
But much more, your ?i .Jir. Voi/r. Here they come, ba'.done. 

Mos. I have another witnclTc, irlyou need, fir, 
I can produce. Volt. Who is ir? Mos. Sir, I hive her. 

yfet iv. -LScene v. 





Tf Cwvin$ 

f Vdtm i 



> lo -j , ' 1 

He like of this the Senate, never heard ef. a 

Avoc 2 ' Twill conic moft flange to them, when we report it. 2 
A voc. 4. The gentlewoman has beenc ever held 
Of un-reproved name. Ay.oC.3. £0, the young man. 

Avoc 4. The more unnaturall part thao of his father / 

Avoc. 2. More ori&e, husband. Avoc. 1. 1 not know to give 

His act a name, it is fo monftrous ! 
Avoc. 4. But the injppftpr', he lis a thing create*! 

T exceed example ! A vo c. * | And all. after-times! - 
Avj?; I' l , ncVcJr *WA a.truc 2 Voluptuary r , . , . 

Dcfcribd,buthim f , v AYOc.3>.Apf)eareyetthof e were cited? 
Nota. All but the old Magpifop^VoLpoNE 

^^■^l^\^t^^ ms ; Pleafe & ^ther-hoods, 



in ■ 


Here is his Advocate. Himfelfe'^fo wcakc, 

So feeble A voc 4. What, arc ,you? Bon. His p'aiafite*. 

His knave, his pandar : I bcfccchthc Court, 
He may be fore'd to come,; that your grave eyes 
May bcare ftrong witnefle of his ftrango impofhires. 

Volt. Upon my faith, and- credit, with your veftucs, 
He is not able to endure the ayre. (Fctch him . 

Avo.2. Bnnghim, however. Avo. 3. We will fee him. Avo. 4.. 

Volt. Your father-hoods fie plea'fures be obcy'd; ; : 

But fore, the fight will rather move your pitties, • 
Than indignation j may it pleafc the Courr, 
In the meane time, he may be hcwUnjne: . 
I know this place moft, voyd of prejudice, ; 

And therefore crave ir, fince wc have no reafon 
10 . feare our truth frould hurt our caufe. Avoc 3. Speak free- 

nifi££\ CD k r V ' ^ft honourJ fathers, I mult now 
Uilcovcr, to your ftrangely abufed cares, . • 

A r r m -°. ft P rod !g ious > . M WO ft frontlefle I piece 
Of fohd impudence, and trcchcrie, , , 

lbat ever vicious nature yet brought .forth 
lo flume the State of ffrffa This levfd woman 

( I bat wants ho artificial! looks, or fcares, 

P p 3 *<> 

To hclpc the x nor, inc aduifceflfc, 

Hath longbcene *"*£ 1^, no t fufpeftcd, 
To that Ufciviow Wgyja thcl £. 
1 fay, but knowne ; and taken ^ 

With h^SA make, him, nav, 
' 5^ : 'If moS mhappie, innocent perfoa, 

5«S£S !S SSal bein, plac'd 

?o-bo>e all ^of their srautude 

Began to bate the benefit : ano\ m place . 

Of thanVs, devifc fcttirpc the memory 

Of Sh an aft. Wherein I pray your father-hoods, 

r obferve the malice, yea, the rage of creatures 

Difcovetd in their evUlsj and what heart 

Such take, even, from their crimes. But that, anon, 

Will more appearc. This gentleman, the father, 

Hearing of this foule faftj with many other*, 

Which daily uruck at his too-tender cares, 

And, grieVd ia nothing more, than that he could not 

Prcfcnc himfclfe a parent (his fonns ills 

Growing to that flange flood ) at laft decreed 

To dif-inherit him. Avoc. U Thcfe be ftrangc turnes! 
Avoc.a. The yong nuns fame was over fa l re, and hoi 
Volt. So much more full of- danger is his vice. 
That can beguile fo, under (hade Of vertiie. 
But as i iayil'( my honour* d ftres) his rather 
Having this fctlcd purpofc,(by what mcancs 
To hira bettay'd, we know not ) and this day 
Appointed for the deed; rfiat parricide, 
(I cannot ftile him better )by confederacy- 
Preparing this his.paumour to be there, 
Entrcd Volponi's tout (who was die man 
Your fetteii-hoods muft underhand, defend 
Por thc^inberitaiice ) there, fought br. er: 
But, with what puxpofc fought he him, my lords ? 
( I tremble to pronounce ir, that a, (bone 
Unto a father, and to fuch a fathcT 
Should have fo foule, felonious intent ) 
It was, to murder him. When, being prevented 
By his more happy abfence, what then did he ? 
Not check his wicked thoughts ; no, now new deeds I 
( Milchicfe doth ewer end, where it begins ) 
An a A of horror, fathers ! he drag'd forth 
The aged gentleman, that had there 'yen, bed-rid, 
Three yecrcs, and more, out off his innocent couch, 
Naked, upon the floorc, there left him •> wounded 
H-s fcrvant in the face ; and, with this (trumpet 
I ftalc to his forg'd praftifc, who was glad 



The Fox. 


To be fo aftive, (I fliall here deiire 

Your father-hoods to note but my collections, 

As mod remarkable) thought, at once, to flop 

His fathers ends; difcrcdit his free choyce, 

In the old gentleman- redcemc thcmfclvcs, 

By laying infamy upon this man, 

To whom, with blufhing, they fhould owe their lives. (fathers' 

Avoc. i. What proofes have you of this? Bon. Moft honour'd' 
I humbly crave, there be no credit given 
To this mans mcrcinary ronguc. Avoc. 2. Forbcare. (low 

Bon. His foule moves in his fee. Avoc 3. 0,fir. Bon. This fcJ-' 
For fix fouz more, would plead againft his maker. 

Avoc. 1. You doc forget your lelfc. Volt. Nay, nay, grave fathers 
Let him have fcope : can any man imagine 
That he will fparc his accufcr, that would not 
Have fpar'd his parent? Avoc. r. Well, produce your proofes. 

Cei.. 1 would 1 could forget, I were a creature. (father. 

Volt. Signior Coivbaccio. Avoc. 4. What is he? Volt. The 

Not. Your teftimony's crav'd. Corb. Speak to the knave? 

1'lc ha* my mouth, firft, ftopt with earth ; my heart 

Abhors his knowledge: I difclaime in him. 

Avoc 1 . But, for what caufe ? Corb. The mccrc portent of nature.' 
He is an urrcr flrangcr, to my loyncs. 

Bon. Have they made you to this I Corb. I will not heare thee 

Monfter of men, fwine, goatc, wolfe, parricide, ' 

Speak nor, thou viper. Bon. Sir, J will fit downc, 

And rather wifli my innocence fhould fufter. ■ > 

Than I rcfifl: the authority of a father, (this? 

VoLT.SigniorCQRviNo. Avo.i.This is ftrange I Avo.r.Whos 
Not. The husband. Avo. 4. Is he fworn? Not. He is. Avo.3. Speak 
Corv. This woman (pleafc your father-hoods) is a whore, (then. 

Of moft hot excrcile, more than a partrich, 

Upon record — Avo. 1. No more. Cofcv. Neigkcs, like a jennet. 
Not. Prcfcrve rhc honour of the Court. Corv. I (ball, 

And modefty of your moft reverend cares. 

And, yet, I hope that I may fay, thefc eyes 

Have fcene her glew'd unto that peect* of Cedar j 

That fine well-timbtr'd gallant : and that, here, 

f he letters may be read, thorough the home, 

That make the (lory perfect. Mos. Excellent! fir. 

' £ ORV# rncre is no frame in this,now, is there? Mos. None. 

Corv. Or if I (aid, I hop'd that flice were onward 
To her damnation, if there be a hell 
Greater than whore, and woman j a good Catholiquc 
May make the doubt. Avo.3. His g^efe hath made him frantique. 
iwi 'r = ?. c l mov ? him hence. Avo.a. Look ro the woman. Corv. shentnM . 
Prettily faind! agamc! Avo. 4. Srand fromabout her. (Rare/ *""" 

Avo.r. Givchcrthcayre. Avo.:. What can